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Рик, Морти и Джерри сидят дома и смотрят последнюю часть серии фильмов «Максимальное Велоцитри», и оба выражают разочарование и гнев по поводу фильма. Пытаясь исправить ситуацию, Рик и Морти крадут сценарий следующей части у Джеймса Ганна. Рик представляет своё изобретение, «Кино-Лайзер», который автоматически создаёт фильм, если ему дать сценарий. После того, как Рик передаёт машине украденный сценарий, он вносит множество небрежных правок, в результате чего Рика и Морти затягивает в фильм. Им приходится искать концовку, чтобы выбраться. Морти в итоге берёт на себя роль антагониста, а Рику приходится вызволять из тюрьмы комического персонажа Танненбаума, чтобы восстановить концовку. В конце концов, они злят и героев, и злодеев фильма и нуждаются в помощи Джерри, чтобы сбежать. После погони Джерри удаётся доставить Рику и Морти к супероружию. Рик затягивает себя и Морти в луч супероружия, на этом фильм заканчивается, и они возвращаются в реальный мир.
- 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:13,294 Отойди от проклятого саркофага,
- 00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:14,550 барон Чертополох.
- 00:00:14,650 --> 00:00:16,990 Ты меня не остановишь, Дендро-Рыцарь!
- 00:00:17,030 --> 00:00:21,860 Как только я активирую поток, обратная сила разорвёт ваш мир в клочья!
- 00:00:24,530 --> 00:00:25,890 У нас полторы минуты...
- 00:00:25,950 --> 00:00:28,560 Что, блин, происходит? Ты сечёшь, что это такое?
- 00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:29,750 Я запутался.
- 00:00:29,790 --> 00:00:31,270 Может, включим субтитры?
- 00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:35,400 Его наноконфигурация заставит проклятый саркофаг взорваться.
- 00:00:35,420 --> 00:00:38,070 - Но это невозможно! - Нет, всё возможно!
- 00:00:38,090 --> 00:00:40,030 Ведь мы рободеревья!
- 00:00:40,050 --> 00:00:42,280 Ты — Дендро-Рыцарь, наш лидер.
- 00:00:42,300 --> 00:00:44,410 Красное дерево — горячая голова.
- 00:00:44,430 --> 00:00:47,870 Пальма-дор, ты в нашей команде супергений.
- 00:00:47,890 --> 00:00:50,540 Кипарис, ты наша леди-босс босс-леди.
- 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:56,630 А я — Новогоднее деревце, у меня все ваши приблуды и гаджеты. Да!
- 00:00:56,650 --> 00:00:58,920 Он реально заново всех представил?
- 00:00:58,940 --> 00:01:01,470 - Это девятая часть. - Сдохни, Новогодний. Ты лох.
- 00:01:01,490 --> 00:01:03,800 Народ, я из-за вас концовку не услышу.
- 00:01:08,290 --> 00:01:11,140 Мы ещё не закончили, рободеревья.
- 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:15,390 Час вашей расплаты уже очень скоро настанет!
- 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:19,030 Да не стой ты, Красный! Он совсем рядом, стреляй!
- 00:01:19,050 --> 00:01:20,740 У тебя буквально пушка в руках.
- 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,530 Рободеревья, выдвигаемся домой.
- 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,990 Да, мне нужно помыться.
- 00:01:26,530 --> 00:01:28,410 Потому что я вонючка.
- 00:01:28,510 --> 00:01:31,250 <i>Это «Максимальное удревление»!</i>
- 00:01:31,270 --> 00:01:33,500 Да, это далеко не «Гражданин Кейн».
- 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,142 А мне понравилось.
- 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,830 О господи, Рик! Что ты делаешь?
- 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,930 Я не знаю, куда деть свои чувства, Джерри.
- 00:01:39,950 --> 00:01:41,590 Это была моя любимая франшиза.
- 00:01:41,650 --> 00:01:43,340 Может, переключимся на что-то ещё?
- 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,610 Нет! Я хочу поговорить с менеджером!
- 00:01:50,370 --> 00:01:53,520 - Ты тут главный? - Да. Я Джеймс Ганн.
- 00:01:53,870 --> 00:01:56,480 Эй! Этот стол Брэдли Купер собирал!
- 00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,930 Что ты сделал с последним «Удревлением»?
- 00:01:58,950 --> 00:02:00,850 - Вам не понравилось? - Мне зашло.
- 00:02:00,930 --> 00:02:03,530 Ты портишь моё детство. А оно ещё в разгаре.
- 00:02:03,550 --> 00:02:08,570 Хватит забивать хронометраж дебильными шутками, давай нам больше экшена!
- 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:13,590 Ребята, я тоже фанат. Зачем бы ещё Warner Brothers посадили меня за стол, который вы мне должны?
- 00:02:13,610 --> 00:02:15,500 Чтобы ты сам себе «Бэтмена» питчил?
- 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,830 Вот именно. И знаете, что я понял?
- 00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:19,850 Снимать фильмы не так-то просто.
- 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:23,655 Десятое «Удревление» переписывали 40 раз.
- 00:02:23,690 --> 00:02:24,720 Из них 30 — я сам.
- 00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:27,870 Мы потратим на съёмки пять лет и полмиллиарда долларов.
- 00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:31,005 Но знаете, что заставит таких фанатов, как вы, его полюбить?
- 00:02:31,070 --> 00:02:31,930 Сраное чудо!
- 00:02:31,950 --> 00:02:35,060 Нет. Знаете, что нужно следующему «Удревлению»? Мы!
- 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:36,810 Ха! Посмотрю, как вы попробуете...
- 00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:38,860 Пора исправить эту чёртову франшизу.
- 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,300 Удачи вам с использованием сценария!
- 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:42,320 Там вотермарки!
- 00:02:47,530 --> 00:02:48,700 Я закажу Убер.
- 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:20,400 РИК И МОРТИ
- 00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:22,820 Не знаю, по-моему, сценарий неплох.
- 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,110 Отдай сюда, пап.
- 00:03:24,130 --> 00:03:25,670 Ого, а это что?
- 00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:28,490 Это «Фльмонайзер»!
- 00:03:28,510 --> 00:03:31,630 Клепает фильмы со скоростью мысли. Изобрёл, пока титры шли.
- 00:03:31,650 --> 00:03:34,110 Посмотрим, что там у Джеймса Ганна было.
- 00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:35,430 ИНИЦИАЦИЯ ПРОСМОТРА
- 00:03:35,830 --> 00:03:38,650 «МАКСИМАЛЬНОЕ УДРЕВЛЕНИЕ 10»
- 00:03:39,530 --> 00:03:41,710 Во имя чести рободеревьев.
- 00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:44,330 Пора умирать.
- 00:03:44,890 --> 00:03:47,130 Только силой нашей дружбы.
- 00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:50,140 Блин. Опять до «Гражданина Кейна» не дотянули.
- 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:51,550 Ага, сейчас дотянут.
- 00:03:51,570 --> 00:03:54,800 Процессор «Фильмонайзера» обрабатывает текстовые запросы.
- 00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,830 Я напишу, что хочу, а он всё сгенерирует.
- 00:03:56,910 --> 00:04:01,440 Класс. Убери этого злодея. Барон Чертополох не крут ещё с третьего фильма.
- 00:04:01,460 --> 00:04:03,820 Убьём двух зайцев одним запросом.
- 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,150 Мы ещё увидимся, робо-деревья.
- 00:04:07,170 --> 00:04:09,450 Стоп. Откуда взялся этот пистолет?
- 00:04:11,510 --> 00:04:12,130 Упсик.
- 00:04:12,260 --> 00:04:13,710 Эй, он был безоружен.
- 00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:14,990 Да, чел, некруто.
- 00:04:15,550 --> 00:04:17,160 Это вышло случайно.
- 00:04:18,730 --> 00:04:21,790 - Офигенно. Его ненавидят. - Сейчас. Смотри сюда.
- 00:04:22,837 --> 00:04:26,380 Я приговариваю вас к пожизненному сроку за убийство без лицензии.
- 00:04:27,630 --> 00:04:28,670 Пожалуйста!
- 00:04:28,690 --> 00:04:31,760 А разве сюжет, который ты меняешь, не важен?
- 00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:33,220 Ой, да пошёл ты на хер, Джерри.
- 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,930 Вся эта хрень из «Спасите кота» испортила последние фильмы.
- 00:04:36,950 --> 00:04:37,880 Точно, Морти.
- 00:04:37,990 --> 00:04:40,438 Мы заставим людей снова полюбить рободеревья.
- 00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:43,440 «Фильмонайзер», заставь нас любить их.
- 00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:57,580 Где это мы?
- 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,790 Твою мать. Морти, смотри.
- 00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:02,070 Господи боже.
- 00:05:02,230 --> 00:05:04,670 Это же штаб рободеревьев.
- 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,300 Стой, а как это получилось?
- 00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:09,630 Посторонние!
- 00:05:09,650 --> 00:05:11,170 Вперёд!
- 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,390 Остановить их!
- 00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:17,060 Чёрт, «Фильмонайзер» за-последне-киногероил нас!
- 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,850 - Мы теперь персонажи, Морти! - Больно как.
- 00:05:19,870 --> 00:05:21,390 Эй, вы там нормально?
- 00:05:21,410 --> 00:05:23,310 Я вижу, как они по вам стреляют.
- 00:05:23,330 --> 00:05:23,815 Папа?
- 00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:26,690 Охренеть, я слышу твой монолог у себя в голове.
- 00:05:26,710 --> 00:05:28,650 Этот аппарат должен так работать?
- 00:05:28,670 --> 00:05:32,400 Нет. «Фильмонайзер» затроил, и теперь рободеревья хотят нас убить.
- 00:05:32,430 --> 00:05:34,930 Правда? Я кое-что попробую.
- 00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:36,780 Это что за хрень?
- 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:41,040 «Киа Спектра» 2007-го. Крутая тачка для побега.
- 00:05:41,060 --> 00:05:42,710 Издеваешься? Тачка отстой.
- 00:05:42,730 --> 00:05:46,210 Сомневаюсь, на обзоре она получила три звезды.
- 00:05:46,230 --> 00:05:48,170 Семейный седан! Мочи его!
- 00:05:48,190 --> 00:05:49,810 Лучше, чем ничего. Бежим.
- 00:05:53,930 --> 00:05:55,590 Как отсюда выбраться?
- 00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:57,890 «Фильмонайзер» выплюнет нас в конце.
- 00:05:57,990 --> 00:06:00,640 Джерри, переходи к финалу и напиши, что всё хорошо.
- 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,560 Кажется, не получится.
- 00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:05,600 Тут написано, что в сценарии более трёх тысяч страниц.
- 00:06:05,630 --> 00:06:10,650 А ещё вылезла ошибка, пишет «Антагонист не найден» и «Нет третьего акта».
- 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:13,280 Без концовки вы навсегда застрянете в фильме.
- 00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:14,610 Да чтоб тебя!
- 00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:17,330 Ты же сам выкинул из фильма целую кучу всего.
- 00:06:17,350 --> 00:06:18,240 Чего ты ожидал?
- 00:06:18,260 --> 00:06:21,990 Ничего, я понимаю сюжет. Я сейчас впишу обратно всё, что ты убрал...
- 00:06:22,010 --> 00:06:24,750 Джерри, нет. Ты сделаешь хуже. Ты ужасный писатель.
- 00:06:24,770 --> 00:06:27,330 И тебе вообще запрещено что-либо печатать.
- 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:28,960 Ой, ну простите, что я живой.
- 00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:31,050 Так, мы убили злодея. Надо исправлять.
- 00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:35,800 Они же вроде воскрешали Вашингтона с помощью молнии в третьем «Удревлении»?
- 00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:38,300 Постой. Аппарат, кажется, не против.
- 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,640 Видишь? Это сработает.
- 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:42,640 Мы вернём барона Чертоплоха, и у фильма будет конец.
- 00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:45,450 Поворотники включай! Пидорас!
- 00:06:47,810 --> 00:06:49,790 ЗДЕСЬ ПОКОИТСЯ БАРОН ЧЕРТОПОЛОХ
- 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:53,230 Так, теперь нужна только молния.
- 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,430 - Готово, детка! - Сработало!
- 00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:06,390 Берегись! Зомби!
- 00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:10,500 Ты чего? Мы только его вернули.
- 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:11,630 Он тебя укусил.
- 00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:12,330 Минутку,
- 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,170 «Фильмонайзер» нашёл нового антагониста.
- 00:07:15,190 --> 00:07:16,630 Я не вижу тут...
- 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:25,350 Эй, новый персонаж увеличил ваши шансы закончить фильм на 20 процентов.
- 00:07:25,370 --> 00:07:27,180 Но мне же, блин, больно.
- 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,690 Мы вернулись к сюжету?
- 00:07:28,710 --> 00:07:30,940 Типа того. Но нужен третий акт.
- 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:35,530 В оригинальном варианте барон Чертополох убивает Новогоднее деревце.
- 00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:37,010 О, крутая концовка.
- 00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:41,830 Может, сын Чертоплоха закончит дело отца?
- 00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:45,620 - А ты на него похож. - Мне убить Новогоднего?
- 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:46,458 Это сработает.
- 00:07:46,470 --> 00:07:51,040 Ладно, я вытащу Новогоднего из тюрьмы, верну к рободеревьям, а Морти его убьёт.
- 00:07:51,060 --> 00:07:53,090 Аппарату такой конец подходит?
- 00:07:53,110 --> 00:07:53,730 Постой.
- 00:07:56,220 --> 00:07:58,590 Подходит. Но концовка так себе.
- 00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:00,210 Заткнись. Я погнал в тюрячку.
- 00:08:00,490 --> 00:08:02,390 Ну а мне что прикажешь делать?
- 00:08:02,410 --> 00:08:06,330 Ты новый злодей. Найди сорнеприспешников и займи рободеревья.
- 00:08:06,410 --> 00:08:09,370 - Занять их? О чём ты? - Увидимся в третьем акте!
- 00:08:14,950 --> 00:08:16,750 Двойной креатин мне.
- 00:08:17,590 --> 00:08:19,900 - Йоу, Джеймс Ганн. - Привет, Зак Снайдер.
- 00:08:19,930 --> 00:08:25,490 Видел твоего «Супермена». Один совет: он человек из стали, а не человек болтовни.
- 00:08:25,510 --> 00:08:27,600 - Ладно. - Больше снимай его удары.
- 00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:33,080 И открою один секрет: сперва пусть бьёт на обычной скорости, а потом замедленно.
- 00:08:33,110 --> 00:08:34,590 Это, сука, не секрет!
- 00:08:35,190 --> 00:08:36,710 Прости, Зак Снайдер.
- 00:08:36,730 --> 00:08:39,880 Зря я на тебя сорвался. У тебя бицепс размером с голову.
- 00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:42,510 Да, прямо как моё сердце.
- 00:08:42,780 --> 00:08:43,680 Так что с тобой?
- 00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:47,770 Один фанат франшизы «Удревления» сегодня меня достал.
- 00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:49,470 Пришёл через портал и...
- 00:08:49,910 --> 00:08:52,940 Зак, мы же не теряем связь со зрителями, правда?
- 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,150 Я сегодня делал заметки к «Графу Шоколакуле» и...
- 00:08:56,170 --> 00:08:57,410 Портал был зелёный?
- 00:08:57,630 --> 00:08:59,130 Это же Рик Санчес.
- 00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:04,910 Ганн, этот тип запер Нолана в книжном шкафу, чтобы, цитата: «Наказать его за "Интерстеллар"».
- 00:09:04,930 --> 00:09:08,780 Он не настоящий фанат. Просто самый умный тип во вселенной.
- 00:09:08,820 --> 00:09:11,430 Он не может того, что можем мы.
- 00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:12,610 Наверное.
- 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:14,960 Пойду железо потягаю.
- 00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:18,210 Однажды ты пожалеешь, что не ходишь в зал, как я.
- 00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:26,760 Так, алё?
- 00:09:26,780 --> 00:09:29,470 Это злодейская база барона Чертополоха?
- 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:31,390 Больше нет. Мы пакуем вещи.
- 00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:34,590 Попробуем продать через Etsy моей подружки.
- 00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:37,980 Так, народ! Слушайте!
- 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:43,230 Я пришёл, чтобы рулить этим местом. Потому что я сын Чертополоха!
- 00:09:43,590 --> 00:09:45,490 У него вроде такой же плащ.
- 00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:47,450 И голова похожа на кактус.
- 00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:49,080 Мне этого достаточно.
- 00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,590 Говори нам, что делать!
- 00:09:51,510 --> 00:09:52,160 Ну...
- 00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:54,580 Что вы делали перед смертью барона?
- 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,960 Ой, да так, план судного дня.
- 00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:58,622 Ледники хотели расплавить.
- 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,880 Месяцами чертили, а твой отец даже спасибо не сказал.
- 00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,380 - Как тебя зовут? - Саманта.
- 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:06,130 Паршиво, когда босс не говорит спасибо, Саманта.
- 00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:09,590 Но со мной вы будете чувствовать, что вас ценят.
- 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:10,860 Да! Да!
- 00:10:10,940 --> 00:10:16,660 Саманта, ты будешь за главную на операции «Тотальное уничтожение ледников».
- 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:20,680 Спасибо, сэр. Мне в последнее время так грустно.
- 00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:22,940 Мама забыла про мой день рождения.
- 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,650 Саманта, это больше никогда не повторится.
- 00:10:25,940 --> 00:10:27,420 Теперь я твоя мама.
- 00:10:28,300 --> 00:10:30,400 А теперь давайте расплавим ледники!
- 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,120 Видите? Моя идея с сыном Чертополоха сработала.
- 00:10:37,510 --> 00:10:40,540 Сукин сын это сделал. Создал фильмо-аппарат.
- 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,260 Там сбоку написано.
- 00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:47,260 ЧАСТНЫЙ НОМЕР
- 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,960 - Алло? - Приветик.
- 00:10:50,990 --> 00:10:53,320 Это я! Твоя жена.
- 00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:56,010 Вот твоя баланда, новичок.
- 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:56,920 За что чалишься?
- 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,720 За самое быстрое преступление.
- 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:01,420 Кто-то видел тут бесячую новогоднюю ёлку?
- 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:07,130 Ох, пожалуйста. Нет, умоляю, только не бейте.
- 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,220 Не буду. Я пришёл тебя спасти.
- 00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,210 Я не достоин спасения.
- 00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:12,760 - Что? - Я отстой.
- 00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:17,990 Говорю дебильными фразами и выгляжу как игрушка, сделанная для детей.
- 00:11:18,490 --> 00:11:20,650 Я просто грёбаный идиот.
- 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,810 Ого, самокритичнее, чем я думал.
- 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,980 Но перестань. Все мы бываем отстоем.
- 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,590 Во всех хороших историях так.
- 00:11:26,630 --> 00:11:27,570 Правда?
- 00:11:27,590 --> 00:11:28,450 План такой.
- 00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:31,740 Я устрою бунт, и мы свалим. Знаю, боец из тебя так себе...
- 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:32,850 Когда начинаем?
- 00:11:34,990 --> 00:11:36,648 - Прямо сейчас. - Хорошо.
- 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,830 Возьми свои слова назад, козёл!
- 00:11:41,230 --> 00:11:43,880 Заберу, как только дотрахаю твою мамку.
- 00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:48,590 Пару ударов и для нас прибереги.
- 00:11:50,070 --> 00:11:51,490 Обед испорчен!
- 00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:01,760 Ого. Круто.
- 00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:04,860 Тащи свой чёртов зад в седло!
- 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,510 Я по тебе скучаю.
- 00:12:07,530 --> 00:12:08,970 По своему муженьку.
- 00:12:08,990 --> 00:12:10,890 Может, зайдёшь пока на кухню?
- 00:12:10,910 --> 00:12:13,810 Ладно. Но почему ты звонишь с другого номера?
- 00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:17,100 Ой, это одноразовый телефон для спама.
- 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:20,570 Иди скорее на кухню и попей лимонадику.
- 00:12:20,590 --> 00:12:22,980 Ух ты, от лимонада я не откажусь.
- 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,280 «Фильмонайзер» теперь мой.
- 00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:30,220 Нет в мире никого креативнее, чем Джеймс Ганн.
- 00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:39,620 Вот сука, тупик.
- 00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:42,240 Ошибаешься, Рик.
- 00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:45,000 Хватайся за ствол!
- 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,320 Да!
- 00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:54,560 Твою же мать. Это было круто.
- 00:12:56,870 --> 00:12:58,020 И вот это тоже.
- 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,020 - Вы молодцы. - Круто.
- 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,440 Слава белкам, вы целы.
- 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:04,320 Благодарите Рика. Это он всё сделал.
- 00:13:04,340 --> 00:13:07,530 Ты тоже очень помог. Больше, чем я ожидал.
- 00:13:07,550 --> 00:13:10,880 Рик, я хочу сказать спасибо за то, что спас меня.
- 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,300 И вот. Хочу, чтобы ты взял это.
- 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:17,460 - Это кусочек меня. - Ну ладно. Спасибо.
- 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,475 Это типа бубенец?
- 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:23,680 Рободеревья, какая-то странная хрень вирусится в твит-токе.
- 00:13:24,260 --> 00:13:26,757 Это, здорово, Земля. Я сын Чертополоха.
- 00:13:26,770 --> 00:13:30,260 Я такой же, как мой отец, поэтому готовлю судный день.
- 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,720 Саманта, скажи всем, что мы задумали.
- 00:13:32,740 --> 00:13:36,540 Мы уничтожим полярные ледники, потому что они отстой.
- 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,460 Ага. «Фильмонайзеру» подходит такой сюжет?
- 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:42,415 Джерри?
- 00:13:43,630 --> 00:13:45,790 - Джерри? - Тяжёлая херовина.
- 00:13:47,930 --> 00:13:49,450 Зря Снайдера не послушал.
- 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,680 Всё точно по плану. Сорняки, в атаку!
- 00:13:59,810 --> 00:14:02,670 Рободеревья, закопаем этого сморчка!
- 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,880 Куда подевался Новогодний?
- 00:14:21,670 --> 00:14:23,480 - Ну? И где он? - На корабле.
- 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:25,270 Оказалось, что он ровный тип.
- 00:14:25,290 --> 00:14:26,960 Теперь он мой любимый герой.
- 00:14:27,250 --> 00:14:29,610 Что? Глянь на меня, я сраный кактус!
- 00:14:29,630 --> 00:14:31,490 Спокойно. Доверься процессу.
- 00:14:31,510 --> 00:14:33,820 Боже мой, ты опять ломаешь сюжет?
- 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:39,080 Я хочу домой. И вообще считаю, что последнее «Удревление» было не так уж плохо.
- 00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:40,910 Ты же сказал, «до Кейна не дотягивает».
- 00:14:41,180 --> 00:14:42,460 Мне четырнадцать!
- 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,290 Я не смотрел «Гражданина Кейна»!
- 00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:46,990 А теперь слушай меня, тупой старикашка!
- 00:14:47,010 --> 00:14:49,560 Ты сейчас вытащишь сюда Новогоднего,
- 00:14:49,580 --> 00:14:53,090 и я отстрелю его чёртову башку, как мы планировали!
- 00:14:53,110 --> 00:14:55,390 Ладно, ладно, я помогу его убить.
- 00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:58,140 Что ты собрался сделать?
- 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,770 Мама? Ты в сговоре с рободеревьями?
- 00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:02,850 Саманта, позволь объяснить.
- 00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:04,310 Ладно. Давай.
- 00:15:04,330 --> 00:15:06,190 Она меня раскусила. Бежим!
- 00:15:06,210 --> 00:15:07,100 Взять их!
- 00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:13,990 - Папа, спасай! - Твой папа не отвечает.
- 00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:17,660 Это потому что он на кухне, общается со своей женой.
- 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,490 - Джеймс Ганн? - Всё верно.
- 00:15:19,510 --> 00:15:20,450 Джеймс Ганн?
- 00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:22,273 Просто уйди отсюда, мужик.
- 00:15:22,290 --> 00:15:23,020 - Уходи. - Но...
- 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,952 Я прочёл твою книгу про динозавров, Джерри.
- 00:15:25,970 --> 00:15:27,090 - Это круто. - Правда?
- 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,210 Ну, в общих чертах. Мы могли бы поработать вместе.
- 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,670 Контракт на два фильма?
- 00:15:31,690 --> 00:15:33,720 - Папа, нет! - Не смей! Ты нам нужен!
- 00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:36,340 Давай, Джерри, отдайся Голливуду.
- 00:15:36,370 --> 00:15:38,925 Знаешь, как преуспеть в этом городе?
- 00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:41,520 Нужно сперва предать своих родных.
- 00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:42,660 Мне это не нравится.
- 00:15:43,370 --> 00:15:45,480 Нет! Ты мог получить всё!
- 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:47,900 Народ, я вернулся.
- 00:15:48,090 --> 00:15:51,070 Боже, что вы сделали? Сюжет стал линейным.
- 00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:53,650 Мы разозлили и хороших, и плохих.
- 00:15:53,670 --> 00:15:56,530 - Рику нравится Новогодний. - Он интересный.
- 00:15:56,550 --> 00:15:57,530 Нужна концовка!
- 00:15:57,550 --> 00:16:00,660 Я буквально вписал нас в угол. Выпиши нас отсюда, Джерри.
- 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,790 Я? Ты сказал, что я ужасный писать и не должен никогда-никогда...
- 00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:06,830 «Никогда» я не говорил. Слушай, Джерри.
- 00:16:06,850 --> 00:16:11,240 Любой идиот может вкинуть в аппарат идею, когда ему плевать, что он выдаст.
- 00:16:11,260 --> 00:16:14,220 Но чтобы написать концовку, нужен особенный идиот.
- 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,500 - Ты этот идиот. - Но как?
- 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,880 Ответ был перед тобой. Иди к моему рабочему столу.
- 00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:21,890 Хорошо. Я здесь.
- 00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:24,020 Открой третий ящик справа и залезь туда.
- 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,600 Там оранжевый пузырёк.
- 00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:28,270 И что это? Какое-то научное устройство?
- 00:16:28,290 --> 00:16:30,560 Лучше. Это магия.
- 00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:33,860 Прими два колеса, пей много воды и не забывай моргать.
- 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:40,330 За сим я провозглашаю вас обоих виновными и мёртвыми.
- 00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:42,080 Ох, блин. Папа, спасай!
- 00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:45,420 И тут, по велению судьбы, под ними открылся люк.
- 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,130 Наши герои сбежали через вентиляционный туннель.
- 00:16:49,150 --> 00:16:51,500 По велению судьбы, он вывел их наружу.
- 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,590 Дальше склейка. Сцена: Нью-Йорк. День.
- 00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:56,480 Нью-Йорк?
- 00:16:56,650 --> 00:16:58,020 Почему мы в Нью-Йорке?
- 00:16:58,100 --> 00:16:59,580 Хватит командовать!
- 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,810 Далее, по велению судьбы, перед ними тормозит «Ламборгини».
- 00:17:02,830 --> 00:17:05,580 Вот блин, забыл, как водить. Лови, малой.
- 00:17:06,710 --> 00:17:09,300 - «Аддералл» действует. - Садись в тачку!
- 00:17:32,780 --> 00:17:33,700 «КРАПОПОЛИС: МЮЗИКЛ»
- 00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:38,930 Давай, Джерри, веди нас к развязке.
- 00:17:39,980 --> 00:17:41,140 «Сежный полюс»?
- 00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:45,700 Там Саманта построила супероружие. Папа возвращает нас к сюжету.
- 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:46,640 Держись!
- 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:52,040 Есть! Сюжет закругляется!
- 00:17:59,060 --> 00:18:00,820 Это и есть твоё оружие?
- 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,320 Мы почти в конце фильма.
- 00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:03,990 Блин, вот это Саманта быстрая.
- 00:18:04,010 --> 00:18:06,080 - Если поддерживать... - Они здесь!
- 00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:36,340 У нас 1,63 минуты до тех пор, пока ледники не растаяли.
- 00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:39,190 - У нас гости. - Остановить предателя!
- 00:18:39,210 --> 00:18:42,410 Блин, Морти, кажется, я придумал офигенный финал.
- 00:18:42,430 --> 00:18:44,240 Привет, мама.
- 00:18:44,350 --> 00:18:46,660 Разберись. Я не понимаю, в чём дело.
- 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,290 Поймайте меня, дубины!
- 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,332 Саманта, привет.
- 00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:52,710 Ты отлично потрудилась над этим оружием.
- 00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:55,200 Я думала, тебе правда нравится мой план.
- 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,750 Но давай признаем — ты не мама.
- 00:18:57,780 --> 00:18:59,820 Ты просто плохой человек.
- 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,600 А ну отойди от супероружия.
- 00:19:02,650 --> 00:19:05,500 - Завалим его! - Я впервые с тобой согласна.
- 00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:10,760 Стойте! Не стреляйте! Он хороший человек.
- 00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:12,640 Он ведь спас меня.
- 00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:14,270 Нет! Я плохой!
- 00:19:14,340 --> 00:19:16,730 Я спас тебя только для того, чтобы убить.
- 00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:20,360 Я тебя ненавижу, Новогодний. Ты похож на игрушку.
- 00:19:20,380 --> 00:19:22,240 - Так что сдохни! - Пистолет!
- 00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:28,410 Увидимся следующим летом.
- 00:19:28,430 --> 00:19:31,080 Стой, нет. Нет!
- 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:42,040 СЫН ЧЕРТОПОЛОХА, РИК САНЧЕС
- 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,010 Ты спас мир от очередного безоружного.
- 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:47,510 Что? О нет. Они умерли?
- 00:19:47,530 --> 00:19:51,720 Иногда, чтобы спасти мир, нужно принимать сложные решения.
- 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:54,460 Такие решения может принять только лидер.
- 00:19:56,630 --> 00:20:00,880 Слава Новогоднему Рыцарю, лидеру рободеревьев!
- 00:20:02,220 --> 00:20:04,360 Они смогли. Ну что за концовка?
- 00:20:04,590 --> 00:20:06,180 Они превзошли Ганна.
- 00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:12,200 - Мы вернулись! - Мы живы!
- 00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:12,790 Боже мой!
- 00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:15,160 А в фильме мы сдохли, реально сдохли.
- 00:20:15,190 --> 00:20:18,330 Ого, пап, похоже, наша смерть тебя расстроила.
- 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,900 Нет, он моргать забыл.
- 00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:22,300 Но я признаю, фильмы — это сложно.
- 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,880 Отныне я буду просто привередливым фанатом.
- 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:27,800 Ты сам это сказал. Идём троллить в комментариях.
- 00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:29,970 О боже. Куда это поехал Джеймс Ганн?
- 00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:32,890 В жопу Джеймса Ганна, где жёсткий диск?
- 00:20:32,910 --> 00:20:36,100 Говорю вам, мистер Бразерс, они разгадали код.
- 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:39,480 Это поможет не просто продавать билеты и попокорн.
- 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,320 Это подарит людям надежду.
- 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:44,860 Спасёт Голливуд. Это может изменить всё.
- 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,780 Хорошая работа, мистер Ганн. Дай ему мороженку.
- 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,400 О, я люблю мороженку.
- 00:20:50,470 --> 00:20:52,400 МОРОЖЕНКА
- 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,460 Почему он называется «Мороженка»?
- 00:21:05,650 --> 00:21:08,180 <i>Это «Максимальное удревление»!</i>
- 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,440 <i>Рободеревья против судьбы.</i>
- 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,890 <i>Это вам не физика и не геометрия.</i>
- 00:21:12,910 --> 00:21:15,120 <i>Так что садитесь и фильм смотрите.</i>
- 00:21:15,180 --> 00:21:17,020 <i>Деревья против кактуса.</i>
- 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,060 <i>Мы вернёмся летом к вам снова.</i>
- 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,120 <i>Вы от нас хотите контент.</i>
- 00:21:21,140 --> 00:21:23,440 <i>Не понравится — в Японии зайдёт.</i>
- 00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:24,820 <i>Нам нужна дружба и свет.</i>
- 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:26,280 <i>Наших веток расцвет.</i>
- 00:21:26,340 --> 00:21:28,030 <i>И никто не мешает расти нам.</i>
- 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,450 <i>Барон и его сорняки,</i>
- 00:21:29,470 --> 00:21:30,680 <i>они просто придурки.</i>
- 00:21:30,740 --> 00:21:32,280 <i>Удревление идёт по плану.</i>
- 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:34,490 <i>Они сражаются с суккулентами-тиранами.</i>
- 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,920 <i>Они надирают растениям задницы.</i>
- 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,740 <i>Это «Максимальное удревление»!</i>
- 00:21:39,620 --> 00:21:40,960 Ну всё, Джерри, готово.
- 00:21:40,980 --> 00:21:44,200 Но вообще я не приветствую такое использование аппарата.
- 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,700 Слышишь, пап? всё готово.
- 00:21:45,940 --> 00:21:49,220 Не верится, что я внутри «Космического джема».
- 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,900 О, привет, Леброн. Всё ещё снимаешься?
- 00:21:51,940 --> 00:21:52,740 Валим отсюда.
- 00:21:54,910 --> 00:21:58,230 Эй, вы же знаете, что я пишу сценарий для порно с динозаврами?
- 00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:00,500 Я готова показать его всему миру.
- 00:22:01,580 --> 00:22:05,360 Ладно, оставлю на этом аппарате, пока они не вернутся.
- 00:22:07,170 --> 00:22:08,850 Народ, вы ещё там?
- 00:22:09,150 --> 00:22:09,990 О нет.
- 00:22:10,180 --> 00:22:11,910 Боже мой... Что это?
- 00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:14,700 Не надо! Отпустите!
- 00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:16,870 Что вы делаете? Хватит!
- 00:22:16,890 --> 00:22:18,750 Не стой столбом, Спиди Гонзалес!
- 00:22:18,770 --> 00:22:19,980 Сделай что-нибудь!
- 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,000 Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.
- 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:14,139 Step away from the Tarnation Casket, Baron Thistle.
- 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:16,516 You cannot stop me, Arbor Knight.
- 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,351 Once the stream is activated,
- 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,522 the negative feedback will rip your world apart.
- 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,608 <i>We have 1.32 minutes before the nexus shockwave...</i>
- 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,902 What the fuck is happening? Are you following any of this?
- 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,446 I-I'm so lost.
- 00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:30,780 Sh-Should we turn the subtitles back on?
- 00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,323 - Shh! <i>- Nano-configuration,</i>
- 00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:34,951 causing the Tarnation Casket to self-implode.
- 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,537 - But that's impossible. - Nothing's impossible.
- 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,497 We're the Robo-Trees.
- 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:41,791 You're Arbor Knight, our leader.
- 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,960 Red Wood, you're the hothead.
- 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:47,297 Palme D'or, or-you're our resident super-genius.
- 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:50,133 Cypress, you're our girlboss boss-lady.
- 00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:56,222 And I'm Tannenbaum, here to get your rears in gear. Whoo. Yeah.
- 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,349 Did he seriously reintroduce each character?
- 00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,517 This is the ninth movie.
- 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,019 Die, Tannenbaum. You suck.
- 00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:03,188 Guys, you're talking over the whole ending.
- 00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:10,612 <i>This is not over, Robo-Trees.</i>
- 00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:15,283 Your day of reckoning will soon be at hand.
- 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:16,618 Don't just stand there, Redwood.
- 00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,495 He's still in range. Shoot him.
- 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:20,121 You're literally holding a gun.
- 00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:22,874 Robo-Trees, let's go home.
- 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:25,418 Yeah. I need a bath.
- 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,962 'Cause I'm stinky.
- 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,757 <i>♪ It's a "Maximum Velocitree" ♪</i>
- 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,842 Ugh. Not exactly "Citizen Kane."
- 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,677 I kinda loved it.
- 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:37,555 Oh, God. Rick, what are you doing?
- 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,390 I dunno what to do with these feelings, Jerry.
- 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,017 This used to be my favorite franchise.
- 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,894 M-Maybe it's time to like something else.
- 00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:45,272 No. I-I wanna talk to the manager.
- 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:53,112 You in charge? - Yeah. I'm James Gunn.
- 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,032 Hey! Bradley Cooper carved that desk.
- 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,535 What was up with that last "Maximum Velocitree"?
- 00:01:58,536 --> 00:02:00,370 - You didn't like it? - I thought it was great.
- 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:03,122 You're ruining my childhood. W-Which is still ongoing.
- 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,875 Stop eating up screen time with stupid comic relief characters
- 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,294 and put more cool shit in the story.
- 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,171 Guys, I'm a fan, too.
- 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,381 Why do you think Warner Brothers put me
- 00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:13,007 behind that desk you now owe me?
- 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,801 So you could pitch Batman ideas to yourself?
- 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,135 Exactly.
- 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,220 And you know what I've learned?
- 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,639 Making movies isn't easy.
- 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,474 The next "Maximum Velocitree" movie
- 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,352 has been rewritten 40 times. 30 by me.
- 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,896 Now, we'll spend five years and half-a-billion making it,
- 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:29,899 but in the end, know what will make fans like you like it?
- 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,068 - A fucking miracle. - No.
- 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,529 What the next "Maximum Velocitree" film needs is us.
- 00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,197 Ha! I'd like to see you try-- Hey.
- 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:38,491 Time to fix this broken franchise.
- 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,579 Good luck doing anything with that script, it's watermarked.
- 00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,332 - Aah! - Aah!
- 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,042 I'll get an Uber.
- 00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:22,452 I dunno, this script is pretty good.
- 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:25,830 - Give that back, Dad. - Whoa, what's that?
- 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,041 The Movie-lizer.
- 00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:29,667 It makes movies at the speed of thought.
- 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,586 {\an8}I invented it during the title sequence.
- 00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:33,631 {\an8}Let's see what James Gunn had cookin'.
- 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,263 For the honor of the Robo-Tree.
- 00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,515 Time to die.
- 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:47,101 <i>With the power of friendship.</i>
- 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,562 {\an8}Yikes. "Citizen Kane" <i>doesn't</i> strike again.
- 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,189 {\an8}Oh-ho-ho, he will.
- 00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:53,650 {\an8}The Movie-lizer uses a prompt-driven CPU.
- 00:03:53,651 --> 00:03:54,943 {\an8}I just type whatever tweaks I want,
- 00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:56,486 {\an8}and it auto-generates the rest.
- 00:03:56,487 --> 00:03:58,613 {\an8}Hell, yeah. M-Make it lose that bad guy.
- 00:03:58,614 --> 00:04:00,949 {\an8}Baron Thistle hasn't been cool since the third movie.
- 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:03,201 {\an8}Let's kill two birds with one prompt.
- 00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,621 Till we meet again, Robo-Trees.
- 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,957 Wait. Where did this gun come from?
- 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:12,752 - Whoopsie. - Hey. That man was unarmed.
- 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,671 Yeah, man. Uncool.
- 00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:16,631 {\an8}<i>It was an accident.</i>
- 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,135 {\an8}- So awesome. They hate him. - Here. Watch this.
- 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,972 {\an8}I sentence you to life in prison
- 00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,890 {\an8}for unlicensed murder.
- 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,226 {\an8}Oh, please.
- 00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:31,104 {\an8}Uh, isn't some of the stuff you're messing with important?
- 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,689 {\an8}Oh, fuck the fuck off, Jerry.
- 00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:35,233 {\an8}That formula-driven, "Save the Cat" bullshit
- 00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:36,317 {\an8}is what killed the last couple of movies.
- 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,194 {\an8}That's right, Morty.
- 00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:39,779 {\an8}We're gonna make the people care about the Robo-Trees again.
- 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,699 Movie-lizer? Make... us... care.
- 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:59,132 - W-Where are we? - Oh, shit. Morty. Look.
- 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,634 Oh, my God.
- 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,971 I-It's Robo-Tree Headquarters.
- 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,765 Wait, how-- how is this happening-?
- 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:10,601 - Intruders! - Let's go.
- 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:13,479 - Stop them. - Aah! Aah!
- 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,482 {\an8}Fuck. The Movie-lizer "Last Action Hero'd" us.
- 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,401 {\an8}We're characters in the movie now, Morty.
- 00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:20,903 {\an8}- Agh. It hurts. <i>- A-Are you guys okay?</i>
- 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,780 {\an8}I mean, I can see you're being shot at.
- 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,449 {\an8}<i>Dad? Holy shit,</i>
- 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,242 {\an8}<i>I-I can hear your internal dialogue in my head.</i>
- 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,202 {\an8}Is the machine supposed to work like this?
- 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,204 {\an8}No. The Movie-lizer malfunctioned.
- 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:31,914 {\an8}Now the Robo-Trees are trying to kill us.
- 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:35,501 {\an8}<i>Really? Uh, let me try something.</i>
- 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,337 {\an8}- What the hell is this? <i>- A 2007 Kia Spectra.</i>
- 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,423 {\an8}<i>I thought you could use a cool getaway car.</i>
- 00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,258 {\an8}Are you kidding me? This car sucks.
- 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:45,636 {\an8}<i>The joke's on you. Edmunds Car Report gave it three stars.</i>
- 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,597 It's a family sedan! Shoot it!
- 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:50,224 - Better than nothing. Let's go. - Aah!
- 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,269 Ow!
- 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,104 H-How are we gonna get outta here?
- 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,565 The Movie-lizer might eject us once the story is over.
- 00:05:57,566 --> 00:06:00,193 {\an8}Jerry, type that we skip to the end, and everything works out.
- 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,070 {\an8}<i>I don't think I can, guys.</i>
- 00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:05,156 {\an8}It says the script is 3,000 pages and counting.
- 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:07,325 {\an8}Also, t-there's an error-thing bleeping that says,
- 00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:10,203 {\an8}"antagonist not found" and "no third act."
- 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,705 {\an8}Without an ending, you'll be stuck in the movie forever.
- 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,123 {\an8}<i>- God damn it.</i>
- 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,042 {\an8}You cut a bunch of stuff out willy-nilly.
- 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,919 {\an8}What did you expect?
- 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,713 {\an8}Look, I understand story. Lemme just put everything back
- 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,590 {\an8}<i>that you took out and--</i> - Jerry, stop.
- 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,300 {\an8}You'll only make things worse. You're a terrible writer,
- 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,803 {\an8}and you should never, ever get on the keys.
- 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,596 Well, excuse me for living.
- 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,681 Alright, we killed the villain, gotta undo that.
- 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,934 Didn't they use lightning to bring George Washington back
- 00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:35,353 to life in "Maximum VelociThree: Tell No Lies"?
- 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,730 Hold on. The machine doesn't hate that...
- 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,190 See. This is going to work.
- 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,900 We'll bring back Baron Thistle
- 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,193 and give this stupid thing an ending.
- 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:45,988 Use your blinker. Fuck off.
- 00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:53,037 Okay, all we need now is a little lighting.
- 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,714 - We're back, baby. - It worked.
- 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:04,966 Aah!
- 00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:08,136 Look out! Zombie!
- 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,012 Dude. Ugh. We just brought him back.
- 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,973 - Fucker bit you. - Wait.
- 00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:14,600 the Movie-lizer is detecting a new antagonist.
- 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,893 I don't see any--
- 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,732 Guys, this new character has given you
- 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:24,777 a 20.5% better chance of ending the movie.
- 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:28,197 - But I am in pain. - So we're back on course?
- 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,533 Sort of. You still need a third act.
- 00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,493 In the original draft, Baron Thistle was gonna
- 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,996 kill Tannenbaum in front of the Robo-Trees...
- 00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:35,997 Huh. That would've been a cool ending.
- 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:41,377 Maybe Son of Thistle could finish what his father started?
- 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,504 Hmm, you do kinda look like him.
- 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,215 - You want <i>me</i> to kill Tannenbaum? - Whatever works.
- 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,259 Okay, I'll break Tannenbaum out of jail,
- 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,636 reunite him with the Robo-Trees, and then Morty will kill him.
- 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,471 Does the machine recognize <i>that</i> as an ending?
- 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,099 Hold on.
- 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,102 It does. Kinda bleak, though.
- 00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,937 Shut up. I'm off to a jailbreak.
- 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,814 Wh-What the hell am I supposed to do?
- 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,107 You're the new bad guy.
- 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,609 Hook up with the Hench-Weeds
- 00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,027 and give the Robo-Trees something to stop.
- 00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,486 Something to stop? What's that mean?
- 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,571 See you in the third act.
- 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,038 Extra creatine, please.
- 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:19,498 Yo, James Gunn. - Oh. Hi, Zack Snyder.
- 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,210 Just saw your new cut of "Superman," and word of advice,
- 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,962 he's the Man of Steel, not the Man of Conversation.
- 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,215 - Okay. - Do more shots of him punching.
- 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,091 And here's a secret move--
- 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,843 start the punch at regular speed,
- 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,470 and then you're gonna ramp it down.
- 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,222 It's not a fucking secret.
- 00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:36,224 I'm sorry, Zack Snyder.
- 00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:37,600 I shouldn't be lashing out at you.
- 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,435 Your biceps are the size of my head.
- 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:43,189 Yes, but so is my heart. What's going on with you?
- 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,900 Some fan of the Velocitree franchise
- 00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:47,276 got onto the lot today.
- 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,445 He used a portal, and he just...
- 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:52,490 Zack, we're not losing touch with the audience, are we?
- 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:55,034 I mean, I gave notes on the Goddamn Count Chocula movie
- 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,078 this morning-- - Was the portal green?
- 00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,746 That's Rick Sanchez.
- 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,665 Gunner, that's the guy that sealed Nolan
- 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,208 in the giant bookcase
- 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,460 to quote-unquote punish him for "Interstellar."
- 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,087 He doesn't represent real fans.
- 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,339 He's just the smartest man in the universe.
- 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,384 Don't sweat it. He can't do what we do.
- 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,927 Probably.
- 00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:14,553 Gonna go crush some weights.
- 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,013 One day you're gonna wish you hit the gym
- 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,598 like I do, James Gunn.
- 00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,274 Uh, hello?
- 00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:28,901 Is this Baron Thistle's evil base?
- 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,820 Not anymore. We're packing it in.
- 00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,113 Gonna try to sell all this stuff
- 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:34,532 on my girlfriend's Etsy site.
- 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:37,535 Everyone, listen up.
- 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:40,121 I'm here to get this place back up and running.
- 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:43,040 I am the Son of Thistle.
- 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,959 He does sorta have the same jacket.
- 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,877 And his head is also a cactus.
- 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,421 That's all the proof I need.
- 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,089 Tell us what to do.
- 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,799 Uh, well,
- 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,051 what were y'all doing before Baron Thistle died?
- 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,512 Oh. Uh. Y'know. Doomsday plan.
- 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,014 We were gonna melt the ice caps.
- 00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,682 Spent months on the blueprints,
- 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,434 not that your dad ever said, "Thank you."
- 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,436 - W-What's your name? - Samantha.
- 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,188 It sucks when your boss never says thank you, Samantha.
- 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:09,483 But under me, everyone will feel appreciated.
- 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,862 Samantha, I am putting you in charge
- 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:16,615 of Operation: Complete and Total Polar Cap Destruction.
- 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:20,870 Ohh. Thank you, sir. I've been feeling so low lately.
- 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,913 I think it's 'cause my Mom forgot my birthday.
- 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:25,583 Samantha, that will never happen again.
- 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,502 I'm your Mom now.
- 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,254 Now, let's melt some ice caps!
- 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:37,595 See. My Son of Thistle idea <i>did</i> work.
- 00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:40,431 Son of a bitch did it. He made a movie machine.
- 00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,309 Says it right on the side.
- 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:50,941 - Hello? - James Gunn: [ High-pitched ] <i>Hi, there.</i>
- 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:53,819 <i>It's me. Your wife.</i>
- 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,988 Here's your prison food, new guy.
- 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,323 What you in for?
- 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,783 The fastest crime I could commit.
- 00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:00,117 Any of you see an annoying little bitch
- 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,578 of a Christmas tree?
- 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:07,124 Oh, please. Oh, please, don't beat me.
- 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,126 I won't. I'm here to rescue you.
- 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,295 I'm not worth rescuing.
- 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:12,546 - Huh? - I suck.
- 00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,799 I say dumb catchphrases,
- 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,594 I look like a t-- a toy designed for kids.
- 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,763 I'm a fuckin' idiot.
- 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,848 Wow. More self-aware than I thought.
- 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,850 But, c'mon. Everyone sucks until they don't.
- 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,352 That's the arc of every good story.
- 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,396 - It is? - Here's the plan.
- 00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:30,356 I'll start a riot, and we sneak out.
- 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,524 I know you're not a fighter, but--
- 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,275 When do we start?
- 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,736 Oh. Uh, right now.
- 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:39,657 Good. Take that back, asshole.
- 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,702 I'll take it back when I stop fucking your mother.
- 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,333 Save some punching for the rest of us.
- 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,585 Aah! - Lunch is ruined.
- 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,471 Whoa. Cool.
- 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,975 Get your fucking rear in gear.
- 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,351 James Gunn: <i>I really miss you.</i>
- 00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,894 <i>I miss my hubby.</i>
- 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,813 <i>Why don't you come into the kitchen?</i>
- 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,691 Sure. But... why are you calling from a different phone number?
- 00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:17,069 Uh. It's a burner phone for spam calls.
- 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,406 Come-- Come into the kitchen for some lemonade.
- 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,658 Oh wow. Can't pass up lemonade.
- 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:26,036 The Movie-lizer is mine.
- 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:30,332 No one's more creative than James Gunn.
- 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,925 - Aah! - God damn it. We're stuck.
- 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,845 No we're not, Rick.
- 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,972 - Aah! - Grab my stump.
- 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,851 Yeah-ha! - Whoa!
- 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,437 Ow.
- 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,566 Holy shit. That was awesome.
- 00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:57,735 And so was that.
- 00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,320 - Whoo-hoo! Yeah! - Job well done.
- 00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,238 - Alright. - Thank the squirrels you're safe.
- 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:04,074 Thank Rick Sanchez. He did everything.
- 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,910 You did a lot, too.
- 00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,369 Definitely more than I expected.
- 00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:10,873 Rick, I wanna thank you for rescuing me.
- 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:14,376 Ah. Here. I want you to have this.
- 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,586 It's a piece of me.
- 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,546 Oh, uh. Thanks.
- 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,173 Is this, like, one of your balls?
- 00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:21,926 Robo-Trees, something messed up is going viral
- 00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,094 all over Twit-Tok.
- 00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,972 <i>He-Hello, Earth. I'm the Son of Thistle,</i>
- 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,267 <i>and I'm just like my dad, so I'ma Doomsdayin'.</i>
- 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,603 <i>Samantha, tell the people what we're gonna do.</i>
- 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,438 <i>We're gonna wipe out the polar ice caps</i>
- 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,982 ' <i>cause they suuuuuuck.</i>
- 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:40,529 Huh. Does the Movie-lizer still think we're on track?
- 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,614 Jerry?
- 00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,367 - Jerry? - Fuckin' heavy.
- 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,412 Shoulda listened to Snyder.
- 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:57,879 Right on cue. Weeds, attack.
- 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,466 Robo-Trees, let's stomp that prick.
- 00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:17,274 Where the hell is Tannenbaum?
- 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,487 - Dude, where is he? - On the ship.
- 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,239 Turns out, Tannenbaum's an alright guy.
- 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,157 He's kinda my favorite character now.
- 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,618 What? Look at me. I-I'm a fucking cactus.
- 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,495 Relax. Trust the process.
- 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,914 Oh, my God, you're re-breaking the story again?
- 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:36,458 I wanna go home, and I didn't even think
- 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,961 the last "Maximum Velocitree" was all that bad.
- 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,754 You said it wasn't "Citizen Kane."
- 00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,464 I'm 14.
- 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,258 I've never seen "Citizen Kane."
- 00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:46,969 Now, listen to me, you stupid old man,
- 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,887 you're gonna bring Tannenbaum here,
- 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,973 and I'm gonna shoot him in the Goddamn head
- 00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,975 just like we planned.
- 00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:55,352 Okay, okay, I'll help you kill him.
- 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,606 - Uhhh. You're gonna do what? - Mom?
- 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:00,816 You're in cahoots with the Robo-Trees?
- 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:04,236 - Samantha. L-Let me explain. - Okay. Go ahead.
- 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,113 Shit, she called my bluff. Run!
- 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,949 Get them!
- 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,121 - Dad, help. - Your dad's not fuckin' answering.
- 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:17,666 James Gunn: <i>That's because he's in the kitchen, talking to his wife.</i>
- 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,917 - James Gunn? - James Gunn?
- 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,419 - That's right. - James Gunn?
- 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,088 - Just walk away, man. Walk away. - But...
- 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,299 I read that dinosaur book you wrote, Jerry.
- 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,217 Really good stuff. - You did?
- 00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:30,137 Well. I got the gist. Maybe we could do business together?
- 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,680 Two-picture deal? - Uh...
- 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,766 - Dad, no. - Don't do it. We need you.
- 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,268 That's it, Jerry. Give in to Hollywood.
- 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,771 You know how to really succeed in this town?
- 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,482 By turning your back on family.
- 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,317 I don't like that.
- 00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:45,444 No. You could've had it all.
- 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,197 Guys, I'm back.
- 00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:51,200 Geez-Louise, what did you do? The story's gone linear.
- 00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:53,661 <i>We pissed off the good guys and the bad guys.</i>
- 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,412 <i>R-Rick likes Tannenbaum now.</i>
- 00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:57,498 - I just think he's interesting. - We need a new ending.
- 00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,083 I literally wrote us into a corner.
- 00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,668 Ya gotta write us outta here, Jerry.
- 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,795 Me? You said I was a terrible writer
- 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,838 who should never, ever, ever, ever, ever--
- 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,882 <i>I didn't say that many "evers." Listen, Jerry,</i>
- 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,051 any idiot can plug an idea into a machine
- 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,844 when they don't care what it spits back out,
- 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,471 but it takes a special kind of idiot
- 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,098 to get on the keys and write us an ending.
- 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:15,349 <i>You're that idiot.</i>
- 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,809 But how?
- 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,394 <i>It's always been right in front of you--</i>
- 00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:19,603 <i>go over to my workbench.</i>
- 00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,980 Uh. Alright. I'm there.
- 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,108 <i>Open the third drawer on the right and reach way back.</i>
- 00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,609 <i>There should be a small orange bottle.</i>
- 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:28,195 W-What is it? Some sci-fi device?
- 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,781 <i>Better. It's magic.</i>
- 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,491 <i>Don't take more than two, drink lots of water,</i>
- 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,285 <i>and remember to blink.</i>
- 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:40,249 I now pronounce you two both guilty and dead.
- 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,167 Aw, geez. Dad? Help.
- 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,919 <i>Then, as fate would have it,</i>
- 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,213 <i>a very large air vent opened beneath them.</i>
- 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:49,258 Our heroes escape execution via the large vented air vent.
- 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,468 As fate would have it, this is a direct path to the outside.
- 00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:54,596 Slam cut to-- exterior-- New York-- day.
- 00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,640 New York?
- 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,016 Why are we in New York?
- 00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,393 Stop micro-managing me.
- 00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:00,978 <i>Then, as fate would have it,</i>
- 00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,855 <i>a high-octane Lamborgina pulls up.</i>
- 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,314 Whoopsie, forgot how to drive.
- 00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:05,525 Here kid, catch.
- 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,068 Whoa. The Adderall is hittin'.
- 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,611 Get in the car
- 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,724 Okay, Jerry, now get us to the climax.
- 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,059 Uh, Nerth Pole?
- 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,645 No, t-that's where Samantha built the super weapon.
- 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,814 Dad's trying to get us back on course.
- 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,484 Hang on.
- 00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:52,154 Yes. We've got curvature.
- 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:00,871 Guessing that's your doomsday weapon?
- 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,206 We're nearin' the end of the movie.
- 00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:04,041 Damn. Samantha built it fast.
- 00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:06,251 - I guess supporting those beneath you-- - Here they come!
- 00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:33,153 We have 1.63 minutes
- 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,613 before the melting polar ice caps
- 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,490 reach the point of no return.
- 00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:39,284 - We got company. - Stop that traitor.
- 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:42,329 Shit, Morty, I-I think I figured out the best ending yet.
- 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,456 Hello, Mother.
- 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,625 You deal with that. I don't know what that's about.
- 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,418 Come and get me, trees.
- 00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:52,673 Samantha, hey, beautiful job on the w-weapon thing.
- 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:55,425 I thought you actually liked my evil plan.
- 00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,761 But let's face it, you're no mother.
- 00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,264 You're just a bad guy.
- 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,391 Step away from that super weapon.
- 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:05,770 - Let's blast him. - For once, I agree with you.
- 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:10,941 Sto-o-o-p. Don't shoot. He's a good man.
- 00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:12,609 He saved me.
- 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,778 - No. I'm bad. - Huh?
- 00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,738 I only rescued you so I could have you killed.
- 00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:20,242 I hate you, Tannenbaum. You look like a toy.
- 00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:22,077 D-Die already! - Gun!
- 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:28,292 See you... next... summer...
- 00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:33,463 Wait. No. No-o-o-o-o!
- 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:45,058 You saved the world from another unarmed man.
- 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,686 Oh, no. They died?
- 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,690 Sometimes saving the world requires complex decisions.
- 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,986 Decisions made by a true leader.
- 00:19:56,571 --> 00:20:00,867 Hail, Tannen-Knight, leader of the Robo-Trees.
- 00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,494 They did it. What an ending.
- 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:07,497 They outdone the Gunn.
- 00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:12,753 - We're back. Oh, my God. - We're alive. Oh. Oh.
- 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:15,255 We were dead in the movie, actually dead.
- 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:18,216 Wow, Dad. L-Looks like us dying really affected you.
- 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,052 No, he just forgot to blink.
- 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,387 Still. I admit it. Making movies is hard.
- 00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,890 From now on, I'm just gonna be an impossible-to-please fan.
- 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,809 You said it. Let's go troll some comment sections.
- 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,020 Oh, God, where'd James Gunn go?
- 00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:32,898 Fuck James Gunn. Where's the Goddamn hard drive?
- 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:36,151 I'm telling, Mr. Brothers, they cracked the code.
- 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:39,363 This won't just put butts in seats and sell popcorn.
- 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:41,406 It will give people hope.
- 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:45,035 It could save Hollywood. It could change everything.
- 00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:48,747 Nice work, Mr. Gunn. Give the man a sundae.
- 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,666 Ooh, I love sundaes.
- 00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,000 Aah!
- 00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:04,304 Why was it called a sundae?
- 00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:08,266 {\an8}♪ It's a "Maximum Velocitree" ♪
- 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,352 {\an8}♪ Robotic trees against adversity ♪
- 00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:12,896 {\an8}♪ It's not rocket science or geometry ♪
- 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:15,273 {\an8}♪ So sit on back and watch the movie ♪
- 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,025 {\an8}♪ Five trees against a cactus man ♪
- 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,111 {\an8}♪ Next summer, we'll be back again ♪
- 00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,946 {\an8}♪ Gotta fill our content demand ♪
- 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,573 {\an8}♪ If domestic tanks, there's always Japan ♪
- 00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:24,783 {\an8}♪ All we need is friendship and sunshine ♪
- 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,576 {\an8}♪ Choking on a wild vine ♪
- 00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,078 {\an8}♪ No one stops us growing from the ground up ♪
- 00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:29,329 {\an8}♪ Baron Thistle and his hench-weeds ♪
- 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,956 {\an8}♪ Lookin' like some bad seeds ♪
- 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:32,916 {\an8}♪ Now Velocitrees are gonna round up ♪
- 00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:34,626 {\an8}♪ They have a tendency to fight tyrannic succulents ♪
- 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:37,629 {\an8}♪ They have a tendency for kicking plant ass ♪
- 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,131 {\an8}♪ It's a "Maximum Velocitree" ♪
- 00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,966 Okay, Jerry. All set.
- 00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,676 But for the record, I do not condone
- 00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:44,011 using the Movie-lizer in this way.
- 00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:45,929 Hear that, Dad? You're good to go.
- 00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:49,307 <i>Can't believe I'm actually inside "Space Jam 7."</i>
- 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,560 <i>Oh, hey, LeBron. Still doing this, huh?</i>
- 00:21:51,561 --> 00:21:52,979 Let's get outta here.
- 00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:56,398 Hey, guys, you know how
- 00:21:56,399 --> 00:21:58,316 I've been writing raptor porn on the side?
- 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,653 I'm ready to share it with the world.
- 00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:03,905 Oh, well, guess I'll just leave it on this machine
- 00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,449 till they come back.
- 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:10,037 <i>Guys? You still there? Oh, no.</i>
- 00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:11,872 <i>Dear God. What is that?</i>
- 00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:14,624 <i>Aah! Stop! Let go of me!</i>
- 00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,835 <i>What are you doing? Stop!</i>
- 00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,670 <i>Don't just stand there, Speedy Gonzales.</i>
- 00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,048 <i>Do something!</i>
- 00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,092 Did you get any of that?
- 00:00:03,963 --> 00:00:11,010 {\an8}♪
- 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:14,139 Step away from the Tarnation Casket, Baron Thistle.
- 00:00:14,140 --> 00:00:16,516 You cannot stop me, Arbor Knight.
- 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,351 Once the stream is activated,
- 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,522 the negative feedback will rip your world apart.
- 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,608 <i>We have 1.32 minutes before the nexus shockwave...</i>
- 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,902 What the fuck is happening? Are you following any of this?
- 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,446 I-I'm so lost.
- 00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:30,780 Sh-Should we turn the subtitles back on?
- 00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,323 - Shh! <i>- Nano-configuration,</i>
- 00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:34,951 causing the Tarnation Casket to self-implode.
- 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:37,537 - But that's impossible. - Nothing's impossible.
- 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,497 We're the Robo-Trees.
- 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:41,791 You're Arbor Knight, our leader.
- 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,960 Red Wood, you're the hothead.
- 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:47,297 Palme D'or, or-you're our resident super-genius.
- 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:50,133 Cypress, you're our girlboss boss-lady.
- 00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:56,222 And I'm Tannenbaum, here to get your rears in gear. Whoo. Yeah.
- 00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,349 Did he seriously reintroduce each character?
- 00:00:58,350 --> 00:00:59,517 This is the ninth movie.
- 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,019 Die, Tannenbaum. You suck.
- 00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:03,188 Guys, you're talking over the whole ending.
- 00:01:03,189 --> 00:01:05,191 [ <i>Chuckles</i> ]
- 00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,776 [ <i>Laughs maniacally</i> ]
- 00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:10,612 <i>This is not over, Robo-Trees.</i>
- 00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:15,283 Your day of reckoning will soon be at hand.
- 00:01:15,284 --> 00:01:16,618 Don't just stand there, Redwood.
- 00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,495 He's still in range. Shoot him.
- 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:20,121 You're literally holding a gun.
- 00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:22,874 Robo-Trees, let's go home.
- 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:25,418 Yeah. I need a bath.
- 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,962 - [ Laughter ] - 'Cause I'm stinky.
- 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,757 <i>♪ It's a "Maximum Velocitree" ♪</i>
- 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,842 - Ugh. Not exactly "Citizen Kane." - [ Groans ]
- 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,677 I kinda loved it.
- 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:37,555 - Oh, God. Rick, what are you doing? - [ Electricity crackles ]
- 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,390 I dunno what to do with these feelings, Jerry.
- 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,017 This used to be my favorite franchise.
- 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,894 M-Maybe it's time to like something else.
- 00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:45,272 No. I-I wanna talk to the manager.
- 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:49,859 [ Thunder crashes, animal howls ]
- 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:53,112 You in charge? - Yeah. I'm James Gunn.
- 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,032 - [ Grunts ] - Hey! Bradley Cooper carved that desk.
- 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,535 What was up with that last "Maximum Velocitree"?
- 00:01:58,536 --> 00:02:00,370 - You didn't like it? - I thought it was great.
- 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:03,122 You're ruining my childhood. W-Which is still ongoing.
- 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,875 Stop eating up screen time with stupid comic relief characters
- 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:08,294 and put more cool shit in the story.
- 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,171 Guys, I'm a fan, too.
- 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,381 Why do you think Warner Brothers put me
- 00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:13,007 behind that desk you now owe me?
- 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,801 So you could pitch Batman ideas to yourself?
- 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,135 Exactly.
- 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,220 And you know what I've learned?
- 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,639 Making movies isn't easy.
- 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,474 The next "Maximum Velocitree" movie
- 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,352 has been rewritten 40 times. 30 by me.
- 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,896 Now, we'll spend five years and half-a-billion making it,
- 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:29,899 but in the end, know what will make fans like you like it?
- 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,068 - A fucking miracle. - No.
- 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,529 What the next "Maximum Velocitree" film needs is us.
- 00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,197 Ha! I'd like to see you try-- Hey.
- 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:38,491 Time to fix this broken franchise.
- 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,579 Good luck doing anything with that script, it's watermarked.
- 00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,332 - Aah! - Aah!
- 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,042 I'll get an Uber.
- 00:02:48,043 --> 00:03:18,073 {\an8}♪
- 00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:22,452 I dunno, this script is pretty good.
- 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:25,830 - Give that back, Dad. - Whoa, what's that?
- 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:28,041 The Movie-lizer.
- 00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:29,667 It makes movies at the speed of thought.
- 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,586 {\an8}I invented it during the title sequence.
- 00:03:31,587 --> 00:03:33,631 {\an8}Let's see what James Gunn had cookin'.
- 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,092 [ Beep ]
- 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,263 For the honor of the Robo-Tree.
- 00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,515 Time to die.
- 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:47,101 <i>With the power of friendship.</i>
- 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,562 {\an8}Yikes. "Citizen Kane" <i>doesn't</i> strike again.
- 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,189 {\an8}Oh-ho-ho, he will.
- 00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:53,650 {\an8}The Movie-lizer uses a prompt-driven CPU.
- 00:03:53,651 --> 00:03:54,943 {\an8}I just type whatever tweaks I want,
- 00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:56,486 {\an8}and it auto-generates the rest.
- 00:03:56,487 --> 00:03:58,613 {\an8}Hell, yeah. M-Make it lose that bad guy.
- 00:03:58,614 --> 00:04:00,949 {\an8}Baron Thistle hasn't been cool since the third movie.
- 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:03,201 {\an8}Let's kill two birds with one prompt.
- 00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:04,661 [ Beep ]
- 00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:06,621 Till we meet again, Robo-Trees.
- 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:08,957 Wait. Where did this gun come from?
- 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:11,042 - [ Grunts ] - [ All gasp ]
- 00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:12,752 - Whoopsie. - Hey. That man was unarmed.
- 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,671 Yeah, man. Uncool.
- 00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:16,631 {\an8}- [ <i>Spectators booing</i> ] - <i>It was an accident.</i>
- 00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:18,299 {\an8}[ Both laugh ]
- 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,135 {\an8}- So awesome. They hate him. - Here. Watch this.
- 00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,595 {\an8}[ Beep ]
- 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,972 {\an8}I sentence you to life in prison
- 00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,890 {\an8}for unlicensed murder.
- 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,226 {\an8}- Oh, please. - [ Crying ]
- 00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:31,104 {\an8}Uh, isn't some of the stuff you're messing with important?
- 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,689 {\an8}Oh, fuck the fuck off, Jerry.
- 00:04:32,690 --> 00:04:35,233 {\an8}That formula-driven, "Save the Cat" bullshit
- 00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:36,317 {\an8}is what killed the last couple of movies.
- 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:38,194 {\an8}That's right, Morty.
- 00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:39,779 {\an8}We're gonna make the people care about the Robo-Trees again.
- 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,699 Movie-lizer? Make... us... care.
- 00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:45,034 [ Beep ]
- 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,620 [ Both grunting ]
- 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,873 [ Both screaming ]
- 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:59,132 - W-Where are we? - Oh, shit. Morty. Look.
- 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,634 Morty: Oh, my God.
- 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,971 I-It's Robo-Tree Headquarters.
- 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,765 Wait, how-- how is this happening-?
- 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:10,601 - Intruders! - Let's go.
- 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:13,479 - Stop them. - Aah! Aah!
- 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,482 {\an8}Fuck. The Movie-lizer "Last Action Hero'd" us.
- 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,401 {\an8}We're characters in the movie now, Morty.
- 00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:20,903 {\an8}- Agh. It hurts. <i>- A-Are you guys okay?</i>
- 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,780 {\an8}I mean, I can see you're being shot at.
- 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,449 {\an8}<i>Dad? Holy shit,</i>
- 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,242 {\an8}<i>I-I can hear your internal dialogue in my head.</i>
- 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,202 {\an8}Is the machine supposed to work like this?
- 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,204 {\an8}No. The Movie-lizer malfunctioned.
- 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:31,914 {\an8}Now the Robo-Trees are trying to kill us.
- 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:35,501 {\an8}<i>Really? Uh, let me try something.</i>
- 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,337 {\an8}- What the hell is this? <i>- A 2007 Kia Spectra.</i>
- 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,423 {\an8}<i>I thought you could use a cool getaway car.</i>
- 00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,258 {\an8}Are you kidding me? This car sucks.
- 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:45,636 {\an8}<i>The joke's on you. Edmunds Car Report gave it three stars.</i>
- 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:47,597 It's a family sedan! Shoot it!
- 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:50,224 - Better than nothing. Let's go. - Aah!
- 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,893 [ Engine revs ]
- 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,269 Ow!
- 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,104 H-How are we gonna get outta here?
- 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,565 The Movie-lizer might eject us once the story is over.
- 00:05:57,566 --> 00:06:00,193 {\an8}Jerry, type that we skip to the end, and everything works out.
- 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,070 {\an8}Jerry: <i>I don't think I can, guys.</i>
- 00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:05,156 {\an8}It says the script is 3,000 pages and counting.
- 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:07,325 {\an8}Also, t-there's an error-thing bleeping that says,
- 00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:10,203 {\an8}"antagonist not found" and "no third act."
- 00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,705 {\an8}Without an ending, you'll be stuck in the movie forever.
- 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,123 {\an8}- [ <i>Groans</i> ] <i>- God damn it.</i>
- 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,042 {\an8}You cut a bunch of stuff out willy-nilly.
- 00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,919 {\an8}What did you expect?
- 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,713 {\an8}Look, I understand story. Lemme just put everything back
- 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,590 {\an8}<i>that you took out and--</i> - Jerry, stop.
- 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,300 {\an8}You'll only make things worse. You're a terrible writer,
- 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,803 {\an8}and you should never, ever get on the keys.
- 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,596 Well, excuse me for living.
- 00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,681 Alright, we killed the villain, gotta undo that.
- 00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,934 Didn't they use lightning to bring George Washington back
- 00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:35,353 to life in "Maximum VelociThree: Tell No Lies"?
- 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,730 Hold on. The machine doesn't hate that...
- 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,190 See. This is going to work.
- 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,900 We'll bring back Baron Thistle
- 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,193 and give this stupid thing an ending. [ Grunts ]
- 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:45,988 Use your blinker. Fuck off.
- 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,117 [ Thunder crashes ]
- 00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:53,037 Okay, all we need now is a little lighting.
- 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,165 [ Thunder crashes ]
- 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,504 [ Groans ]
- 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:03,714 - We're back, baby. - It worked.
- 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:04,966 - [ Grunts ] - Aah!
- 00:07:04,967 --> 00:07:08,136 Look out! Zombie!
- 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,012 Dude. Ugh. We just brought him back.
- 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,973 - Fucker bit you. - Wait.
- 00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:14,600 the Movie-lizer is detecting a new antagonist.
- 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,893 I don't see any--
- 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,021 [ Grunting ]
- 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,732 Guys, this new character has given you
- 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:24,777 a 20.5% better chance of ending the movie.
- 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:28,197 - But I am in pain. - So we're back on course?
- 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:30,533 Sort of. You still need a third act.
- 00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,493 In the original draft, Baron Thistle was gonna
- 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:34,996 kill Tannenbaum in front of the Robo-Trees...
- 00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:35,997 Huh. That would've been a cool ending.
- 00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:37,832 [ Grunting ]
- 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:41,377 Maybe Son of Thistle could finish what his father started?
- 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,504 Hmm, you do kinda look like him.
- 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:46,215 - You want <i>me</i> to kill Tannenbaum? - Whatever works.
- 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,259 Okay, I'll break Tannenbaum out of jail,
- 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,636 reunite him with the Robo-Trees, and then Morty will kill him.
- 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,471 Does the machine recognize <i>that</i> as an ending?
- 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,099 Hold on.
- 00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,102 It does. Kinda bleak, though.
- 00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,937 Shut up. I'm off to a jailbreak.
- 00:07:59,938 --> 00:08:01,814 Wh-What the hell am I supposed to do?
- 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,107 You're the new bad guy.
- 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,609 Hook up with the Hench-Weeds
- 00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,027 and give the Robo-Trees something to stop.
- 00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,486 Something to stop? What's that mean?
- 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,571 See you in the third act.
- 00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:10,699 [ Tires screech ]
- 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,038 Extra creatine, please.
- 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:19,498 Yo, James Gunn. - Oh. Hi, Zack Snyder.
- 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,210 Just saw your new cut of "Superman," and word of advice,
- 00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:24,962 he's the Man of Steel, not the Man of Conversation.
- 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,215 - Okay. - Do more shots of him punching.
- 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,091 And here's a secret move--
- 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,843 start the punch at regular speed,
- 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,470 and then you're gonna ramp it down.
- 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,222 It's not a fucking secret.
- 00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:36,224 [ Sighs ] I'm sorry, Zack Snyder.
- 00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:37,600 I shouldn't be lashing out at you.
- 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,435 Your biceps are the size of my head.
- 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:43,189 Yes, but so is my heart. What's going on with you?
- 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,900 Some fan of the Velocitree franchise
- 00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:47,276 got onto the lot today.
- 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:49,445 He used a portal, and he just...
- 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:52,490 Zack, we're not losing touch with the audience, are we?
- 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:55,034 I mean, I gave notes on the Goddamn Count Chocula movie
- 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,078 this morning-- - Was the portal green?
- 00:08:57,079 --> 00:08:58,746 That's Rick Sanchez. [ Chuckles ]
- 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,665 Gunner, that's the guy that sealed Nolan
- 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,208 in the giant bookcase
- 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,460 to quote-unquote punish him for "Interstellar."
- 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,087 He doesn't represent real fans.
- 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,339 He's just the smartest man in the universe.
- 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,384 Don't sweat it. He can't do what we do.
- 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,927 Probably.
- 00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:14,553 Gonna go crush some weights.
- 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,013 One day you're gonna wish you hit the gym
- 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,598 like I do, James Gunn.
- 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:24,939 {\an8}♪
- 00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,274 Uh, hello?
- 00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:28,901 Is this Baron Thistle's evil base?
- 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,820 Not anymore. We're packing it in.
- 00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:32,113 Gonna try to sell all this stuff
- 00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:34,532 on my girlfriend's Etsy site.
- 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:37,535 [ Panting ] Everyone, listen up.
- 00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:40,121 I'm here to get this place back up and running.
- 00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:43,040 I am the Son of Thistle.
- 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,959 He does sorta have the same jacket.
- 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,877 And his head is also a cactus.
- 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,421 That's all the proof I need.
- 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:50,089 Tell us what to do.
- 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,799 Uh, well,
- 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,051 what were y'all doing before Baron Thistle died?
- 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:56,512 Oh. Uh. Y'know. Doomsday plan.
- 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,014 We were gonna melt the ice caps.
- 00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,682 Spent months on the blueprints,
- 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,434 not that your dad ever said, "Thank you."
- 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,436 - W-What's your name? - Samantha.
- 00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:06,188 It sucks when your boss never says thank you, Samantha.
- 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:09,483 But under me, everyone will feel appreciated.
- 00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:10,943 [ All cheer ]
- 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,862 Samantha, I am putting you in charge
- 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:16,615 of Operation: Complete and Total Polar Cap Destruction.
- 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:20,870 Ohh. Thank you, sir. I've been feeling so low lately.
- 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,913 I think it's 'cause my Mom forgot my birthday.
- 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:25,583 Samantha, that will never happen again.
- 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,502 I'm your Mom now.
- 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,254 Now, let's melt some ice caps!
- 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:34,050 [ Dance music playing, all cheering ]
- 00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:37,595 See. My Son of Thistle idea <i>did</i> work.
- 00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:40,431 Son of a bitch did it. He made a movie machine.
- 00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,309 Says it right on the side.
- 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:48,106 [ Cellphone vibrating, ringing ]
- 00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:50,941 - Hello? - James Gunn: [ High-pitched ] <i>Hi, there.</i>
- 00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:53,819 <i>It's me. Your wife.</i>
- 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,988 Here's your prison food, new guy.
- 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,323 What you in for?
- 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,783 The fastest crime I could commit.
- 00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:00,117 Any of you see an annoying little bitch
- 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,578 of a Christmas tree?
- 00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:07,124 Oh, please. Oh, please, don't beat me.
- 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,126 I won't. I'm here to rescue you.
- 00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,295 I'm not worth rescuing.
- 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:12,546 - Huh? - I suck.
- 00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,799 I say dumb catchphrases,
- 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,594 I look like a t-- a toy designed for kids.
- 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,763 I'm a fuckin' idiot.
- 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,848 Wow. More self-aware than I thought.
- 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,850 But, c'mon. Everyone sucks until they don't.
- 00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,352 That's the arc of every good story.
- 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,396 - It is? - Here's the plan.
- 00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:30,356 I'll start a riot, and we sneak out.
- 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,524 I know you're not a fighter, but--
- 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,275 When do we start?
- 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:35,736 Oh. Uh, right now.
- 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:39,657 Good. Take that back, asshole.
- 00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,325 [ Grunts ]
- 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,702 I'll take it back when I stop fucking your mother.
- 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,330 [ Both grunting ]
- 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,333 Save some punching for the rest of us.
- 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,585 Aah! - Lunch is ruined.
- 00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,712 [ Men grunting, screaming ]
- 00:11:53,713 --> 00:12:00,719 {\an8}♪
- 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,471 Whoa. Cool. [ Grunts ]
- 00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,975 Get your fucking rear in gear.
- 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,351 James Gunn: [ High-pitched ] <i>I really miss you.</i>
- 00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,894 <i>I miss my hubby.</i>
- 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,813 <i>Why don't you come into the kitchen?</i>
- 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,691 Sure. But... why are you calling from a different phone number?
- 00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:17,069 Uh. It's a burner phone for spam calls.
- 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,406 Come-- Come into the kitchen for some lemonade.
- 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,658 Oh wow. Can't pass up lemonade.
- 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,034 [ Laughs ]
- 00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:26,036 [ Normal voice ] The Movie-lizer is mine.
- 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:30,332 No one's more creative than James Gunn.
- 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,876 [ Laughs ]
- 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:34,004 [ Both grunting ]
- 00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:36,964 [ Both grunt ]
- 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,925 - Aah! - God damn it. We're stuck.
- 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,845 - [ Both grunt ] - No we're not, Rick.
- 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,972 - Aah! - Grab my stump.
- 00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,851 Yeah-ha! - Whoa!
- 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,437 Ow.
- 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,566 Holy shit. That was awesome.
- 00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:57,735 And so was that.
- 00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,320 - Whoo-hoo! Yeah! - Job well done.
- 00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,238 - Alright. - Thank the squirrels you're safe.
- 00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:04,074 Thank Rick Sanchez. He did everything.
- 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:05,910 You did a lot, too.
- 00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,369 Definitely more than I expected.
- 00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:10,873 Rick, I wanna thank you for rescuing me.
- 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:14,376 Ah. Here. I want you to have this.
- 00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:15,586 It's a piece of me.
- 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,546 Oh, uh. Thanks.
- 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,173 Is this, like, one of your balls?
- 00:13:19,174 --> 00:13:21,926 Robo-Trees, something messed up is going viral
- 00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,094 all over Twit-Tok.
- 00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,972 <i>He-Hello, Earth. I'm the Son of Thistle,</i>
- 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,267 <i>and I'm just like my dad, so I'ma Doomsdayin'.</i>
- 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,603 <i>Samantha, tell the people what we're gonna do.</i>
- 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:34,438 <i>We're gonna wipe out the polar ice caps</i>
- 00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,982 ' <i>cause they suuuuuuck.</i>
- 00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:40,529 Huh. Does the Movie-lizer still think we're on track?
- 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,614 - Jerry? - [ Grunting ]
- 00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,367 - Jerry? - Fuckin' heavy.
- 00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,952 [ Clank! ]
- 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:49,412 Shoulda listened to Snyder.
- 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:57,879 Right on cue. Weeds, attack.
- 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,466 Robo-Trees, let's stomp that prick.
- 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,634 [ All grunt ]
- 00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,636 [ Grunting ]
- 00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:14,937 {\an8}♪
- 00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:17,274 Where the hell is Tannenbaum?
- 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,487 - Dude, where is he? - On the ship.
- 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,239 Turns out, Tannenbaum's an alright guy.
- 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,157 He's kinda my favorite character now.
- 00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,618 What? Look at me. I-I'm a fucking cactus.
- 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:31,495 Relax. Trust the process.
- 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,914 Oh, my God, you're re-breaking the story again?
- 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:36,458 I wanna go home, and I didn't even think
- 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,961 the last "Maximum Velocitree" was all that bad.
- 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,754 You said it wasn't "Citizen Kane."
- 00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,464 - [ Both grunt ] - I'm 14.
- 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,258 I've never seen "Citizen Kane."
- 00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:46,969 Now, listen to me, you stupid old man,
- 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,887 you're gonna bring Tannenbaum here,
- 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,973 and I'm gonna shoot him in the Goddamn head
- 00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:52,975 just like we planned.
- 00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:55,352 Okay, okay, I'll help you kill him.
- 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,606 - Uhhh. You're gonna do what? - Mom?
- 00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:00,816 You're in cahoots with the Robo-Trees?
- 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:04,236 - Samantha. L-Let me explain. - Okay. Go ahead.
- 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,113 Shit, she called my bluff. Run!
- 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,949 Get them!
- 00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,121 - Dad, help. - Your dad's not fuckin' answering.
- 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:17,666 James Gunn: <i>That's because he's in the kitchen, talking to his wife.</i>
- 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,917 - James Gunn? - James Gunn?
- 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,419 - That's right. - James Gunn?
- 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,088 - Just walk away, man. Walk away. - But...
- 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,299 I read that dinosaur book you wrote, Jerry.
- 00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,217 Really good stuff. - You did?
- 00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:30,137 Well. I got the gist. Maybe we could do business together?
- 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,680 Two-picture deal? - Uh...
- 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,766 - Dad, no. - Don't do it. We need you.
- 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:36,268 That's it, Jerry. Give in to Hollywood.
- 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,771 You know how to really succeed in this town?
- 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,482 By turning your back on family.
- 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,317 - I don't like that. - [ Grunts ]
- 00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:45,444 No. You could've had it all.
- 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,197 - [ Grunts ] - Guys, I'm back.
- 00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:51,200 Geez-Louise, what did you do? The story's gone linear.
- 00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:53,661 <i>We pissed off the good guys and the bad guys.</i>
- 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,412 <i>R-Rick likes Tannenbaum now.</i>
- 00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:57,498 - I just think he's interesting. - We need a new ending.
- 00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,083 I literally wrote us into a corner.
- 00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,668 Ya gotta write us outta here, Jerry.
- 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,795 Me? You said I was a terrible writer
- 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:04,838 who should never, ever, ever, ever, ever--
- 00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,882 <i>I didn't say that many "evers." Listen, Jerry,</i>
- 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,051 any idiot can plug an idea into a machine
- 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,844 when they don't care what it spits back out,
- 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:12,471 but it takes a special kind of idiot
- 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,098 to get on the keys and write us an ending.
- 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:15,349 <i>You're that idiot.</i>
- 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,809 But how?
- 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,394 <i>It's always been right in front of you--</i>
- 00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:19,603 <i>go over to my workbench.</i>
- 00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,980 Uh. Alright. I'm there.
- 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,108 <i>Open the third drawer on the right and reach way back.</i>
- 00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:25,609 <i>There should be a small orange bottle.</i>
- 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:28,195 W-What is it? Some sci-fi device?
- 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,781 <i>Better. It's magic.</i>
- 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,491 <i>Don't take more than two, drink lots of water,</i>
- 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,285 <i>and remember to blink.</i>
- 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:40,249 I now pronounce you two both guilty and dead.
- 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,167 Aw, geez. Dad? Help.
- 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,919 Jerry: <i>Then, as fate would have it,</i>
- 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,213 <i>a very large air vent opened beneath them.</i>
- 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:49,258 Our heroes escape execution via the large vented air vent.
- 00:16:49,259 --> 00:16:51,468 As fate would have it, this is a direct path to the outside.
- 00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:54,596 Slam cut to-- exterior-- New York-- day.
- 00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,640 - [ Both grunt ] - New York?
- 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:58,016 Why are we in New York?
- 00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,393 Stop micro-managing me.
- 00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:00,978 <i>Then, as fate would have it,</i>
- 00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,855 <i>a high-octane Lamborgina pulls up.</i>
- 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,314 Whoopsie, forgot how to drive.
- 00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:05,525 Here kid, catch.
- 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,068 Whoa. The Adderall is hittin'.
- 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,611 Get in the car
- 00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,613 [ Tires squeal ]
- 00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:19,872 {\an8}♪
- 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:22,040 [ Tires squeal ]
- 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,042 [ Both screaming ]
- 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:29,381 {\an8}♪
- 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,592 [ Horn honks ]
- 00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:33,553 [ Both screaming ]
- 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,724 Okay, Jerry, now get us to the climax.
- 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:41,059 Uh, Nerth Pole?
- 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,645 [ Grunts ] No, t-that's where Samantha built the super weapon.
- 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,814 Dad's trying to get us back on course.
- 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,484 Hang on.
- 00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:52,154 Yes. We've got curvature.
- 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:54,031 [ Both grunt ]
- 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,492 [ Screams ]
- 00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:00,871 Guessing that's your doomsday weapon?
- 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,206 We're nearin' the end of the movie.
- 00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:04,041 Damn. Samantha built it fast.
- 00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:06,251 - I guess supporting those beneath you-- - Here they come!
- 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,337 [ Panting ]
- 00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:31,568 {\an8}♪
- 00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:33,153 We have 1.63 minutes
- 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,613 before the melting polar ice caps
- 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,490 reach the point of no return.
- 00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:39,284 - We got company. - Stop that traitor.
- 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:42,329 Shit, Morty, I-I think I figured out the best ending yet.
- 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,456 Hello, Mother.
- 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,625 You deal with that. I don't know what that's about.
- 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,418 Come and get me, trees.
- 00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:52,673 Samantha, hey, beautiful job on the w-weapon thing.
- 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:55,425 I thought you actually liked my evil plan.
- 00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,761 But let's face it, you're no mother.
- 00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,264 You're just a bad guy.
- 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,391 Step away from that super weapon.
- 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:05,770 - Let's blast him. - For once, I agree with you.
- 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:10,941 Sto-o-o-p. Don't shoot. He's a good man.
- 00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:12,609 He saved me.
- 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,778 - No. I'm bad. - Huh?
- 00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,738 I only rescued you so I could have you killed.
- 00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:20,242 I hate you, Tannenbaum. You look like a toy.
- 00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:22,077 D-Die already! - Gun!
- 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:25,247 [ Grunts ]
- 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:28,292 See you... next... summer...
- 00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:33,463 Wait. No. No-o-o-o-o!
- 00:19:33,464 --> 00:19:42,431 {\an8}♪
- 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:45,058 You saved the world from another unarmed man.
- 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,686 [ Gasps ] Oh, no. They died?
- 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,690 Sometimes saving the world requires complex decisions.
- 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,986 Decisions made by a true leader.
- 00:19:56,571 --> 00:20:00,867 Hail, Tannen-Knight, leader of the Robo-Trees.
- 00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:04,494 They did it. What an ending.
- 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:07,497 They outdone the Gunn.
- 00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,459 [ Electricity zapping ]
- 00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:12,753 - We're back. Oh, my God. - We're alive. Oh. Oh.
- 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:15,255 We were dead in the movie, actually dead.
- 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:18,216 Wow, Dad. L-Looks like us dying really affected you.
- 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,052 No, he just forgot to blink.
- 00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:22,387 Still. I admit it. Making movies is hard.
- 00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,890 From now on, I'm just gonna be an impossible-to-please fan.
- 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,809 You said it. Let's go troll some comment sections.
- 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,020 - [ Tires squeal ] - Oh, God, where'd James Gunn go?
- 00:20:30,021 --> 00:20:32,898 Fuck James Gunn. Where's the Goddamn hard drive?
- 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:36,151 I'm telling, Mr. Brothers, they cracked the code.
- 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:39,363 This won't just put butts in seats and sell popcorn.
- 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:41,406 It will give people hope.
- 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:45,035 It could save Hollywood. It could change everything.
- 00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:48,747 Nice work, Mr. Gunn. Give the man a sundae.
- 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,666 Ooh, I love sundaes.
- 00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,000 Aah!
- 00:20:52,001 --> 00:21:00,342 {\an8}♪
- 00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:04,304 [ Weakly ] Why was it called a sundae?
- 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:05,555 [ Grunts ]
- 00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:08,266 {\an8}♪ It's a "Maximum Velocitree" ♪
- 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,352 {\an8}♪ Robotic trees against adversity ♪
- 00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:12,896 {\an8}♪ It's not rocket science or geometry ♪
- 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:15,273 {\an8}♪ So sit on back and watch the movie ♪
- 00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,025 {\an8}♪ Five trees against a cactus man ♪
- 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,111 {\an8}♪ Next summer, we'll be back again ♪
- 00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,946 {\an8}♪ Gotta fill our content demand ♪
- 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,573 {\an8}♪ If domestic tanks, there's always Japan ♪
- 00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:24,783 {\an8}♪ All we need is friendship and sunshine ♪
- 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,576 {\an8}♪ Choking on a wild vine ♪
- 00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,078 {\an8}♪ No one stops us growing from the ground up ♪
- 00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:29,329 {\an8}♪ Baron Thistle and his hench-weeds ♪
- 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:30,956 {\an8}♪ Lookin' like some bad seeds ♪
- 00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:32,916 {\an8}♪ Now Velocitrees are gonna round up ♪
- 00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:34,626 {\an8}♪ They have a tendency to fight tyrannic succulents ♪
- 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:37,629 {\an8}♪ They have a tendency for kicking plant ass ♪
- 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,131 {\an8}♪ It's a "Maximum Velocitree" ♪
- 00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:40,966 Okay, Jerry. All set.
- 00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,676 But for the record, I do not condone
- 00:21:42,677 --> 00:21:44,011 using the Movie-lizer in this way.
- 00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:45,929 Hear that, Dad? You're good to go.
- 00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:49,307 Jerry: <i>Can't believe I'm actually inside "Space Jam 7."</i>
- 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,560 <i>Oh, hey, LeBron. Still doing this, huh?</i>
- 00:21:51,561 --> 00:21:52,979 Let's get outta here.
- 00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:56,398 Hey, guys, you know how
- 00:21:56,399 --> 00:21:58,316 I've been writing raptor porn on the side?
- 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,653 I'm ready to share it with the world.
- 00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:03,905 Oh, well, guess I'll just leave it on this machine
- 00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,449 till they come back.
- 00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:07,200 [ Movie-lizer whirs, electricity zaps ]
- 00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:10,037 <i>Guys? You still there? Oh, no.</i>
- 00:22:10,038 --> 00:22:11,872 <i>Dear God. What is that?</i>
- 00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:14,624 - [ <i>Raptor roaring</i> ] - <i>Aah! Stop! Let go of me!</i>
- 00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,835 <i>What are you doing? Stop!</i>
- 00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,670 <i>Don't just stand there, Speedy Gonzales.</i>
- 00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,048 <i>Do something!</i>
- 00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:23,092 Did you get any of that?