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Последнее искушение Джерри
Джерри пытается отпраздновать Пасху с семьей, но все его отвергают, в результате чего он случайно сбивает и убивает пасхального кролика, покупая пасхальные конфеты. Джерри начинает мутировать в другого пасхального кролика, поэтому Рик и Морти отправляются на поиски способа обратить трансформацию вспять. Они обнаруживают, что пасхальный кролик на самом деле — инопланетное существо, похожее на кролика, которое вырабатывает феромоны, заставляющие всех вокруг него бесконтрольно заниматься сексом, что приводит к уничтожению планеты из-за перенаселения. Пытаясь украсть пасхальное яйцо, чтобы обратить мутацию Джерри, они подвергаются преследованию со стороны космических христиан во главе с Рейнхардом Кинкейдом, которые воздерживаются от секса и хотят избавить вселенную от кроликов. Тем временем Джерри превращается в бушующего кролика-монстра и начинает заставлять всех в мире заниматься сексом. После столкновения, в результате которого каждый член семьи на короткое время превращается в пасхального кролика, появляется Рейнхард, извлекает частицы кролика в пасхальное яйцо и уходит с ним. После того, как Джерри и его семья возвращаются к нормальной жизни, они решают, что им лучше больше не отмечать праздники, и начинают портить всем остальным праздники года.
- 00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:04,370 ВЕСЁЛОЙ ПАСХИ
- 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:07,210 <i>Укрась дом пасхальными корзинками.</i>
- 00:00:07,230 --> 00:00:09,970 <i>Фа-ла-ла-ла-ла, ла-ла-ла, яйца.</i>
- 00:00:10,030 --> 00:00:12,990 <i>Искусственная трава и шоколадные зайцы.</i>
- 00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:15,810 <i>Фа-ла-ла-ла-ла, зефирная птица.</i>
- 00:00:15,910 --> 00:00:18,870 <i>Пасха — это время делиться.</i>
- 00:00:18,930 --> 00:00:21,790 <i>Фа-ла-ла, ла-ла-ла, молоко.</i>
- 00:00:21,850 --> 00:00:25,495 Эй, дружище, хочешь украсить пасхальную корзинку со своим стариком?
- 00:00:25,540 --> 00:00:29,230 Что? Нет. У меня стрим на твиче. В Fortnite добавили Кеннеди.
- 00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:33,790 Может, наполним корзинку конфетками? Ну знаешь, продолжим традицию.
- 00:00:33,870 --> 00:00:37,520 Я собираюсь на весеннюю тусу. И «конфетка» — это, считай, оскорбление.
- 00:00:37,540 --> 00:00:42,830 Ну же, Бэт. Дети подрастают. Давай в последний раз устроим охоту за яйцами.
- 00:00:42,890 --> 00:00:45,190 Я не хочу, чтобы дом вонял яичным пердежом.
- 00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:46,410 Рик.
- 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,464 А знаешь что?
- 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:49,740 Забей.
- 00:00:50,890 --> 00:00:55,540 Пасху что, никто больше не празднует? Я никого не заставляю идти в церковь, но…
- 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,370 Скажи, что отмечают на Пасху?
- 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,080 Ну это, рождение Христа.
- 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,420 Или, может, убийство. Я не знаю.
- 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:04,210 Но мы едим конфеты, чтобы не забывать. Это важно.
- 00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:07,608 Джерри, если бы не стеллаж в магазине Costco, ты бы и не вспомнил.
- 00:01:07,775 --> 00:01:09,880 Да, пап. Вот пример: когда Рождество?
- 00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:12,890 - Двадцать пятого декабря. - А сегодня какой день?
- 00:01:12,910 --> 00:01:15,510 Ну это… ап… апрель.
- 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:20,890 Я просто хочу быть хорошим отцом. И я знаю, что для этого надо постараться.
- 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:24,020 Если наша семья забывает про Пасху — это плохо.
- 00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:27,470 Ну? Так кто поедет со мной за краской для яиц?
- 00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:34,490 Видимо, больше конфет достанется Джерри.
- 00:01:38,270 --> 00:01:40,750 <i>У Джерри есть яйцо, и это класс.</i>
- 00:01:41,940 --> 00:01:43,920 Боже мой! Боже мой.
- 00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:48,010 Господи. С тобой всё нор…
- 00:01:49,950 --> 00:01:53,470 Боже мой, не лучшее время я выбрал, чтобы обожраться конфетами.
- 00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:58,180 Прости, я не пытаюсь утопить тебя в блевоте.
- 00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,730 Мне просто очень страшно.
- 00:02:29,910 --> 00:02:34,111 РИК И МОРТИ
- 00:02:34,740 --> 00:02:37,640 Пожалуйста, умоляю, скажите, что это не тот, кто я думаю.
- 00:02:37,660 --> 00:02:40,180 Ну, а ты знаешь много гуманоидных кроликов?
- 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,703 Боже мой. Я убил Пасхального кролика.
- 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,788 Вместе с мечтами и надеждами детишек.
- 00:02:44,890 --> 00:02:47,270 Саммер! Шути так, когда мы наедине.
- 00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:49,222 - Рик, что это значит? - Не уверен.
- 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:50,820 У меня есть пара вопросов.
- 00:02:51,110 --> 00:02:52,770 Ты хотел утопить его в блевоте?
- 00:02:52,870 --> 00:02:54,770 - Нет! - Вопросов больше нет.
- 00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:59,030 Ожерелье из Германии, XIII век.
- 00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:00,740 Лежал в вечной мерзлоте и…
- 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,910 Потрогай сердце. Бьётся, как бешеное.
- 00:03:02,930 --> 00:03:05,410 Милый, успокойся. Выпей стакан воды.
- 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:06,300 - Ага. - Дыши.
- 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,880 Ладно. Ты права. Всё нормально.
- 00:03:16,850 --> 00:03:17,790 Папа?
- 00:03:18,590 --> 00:03:21,350 Точно, вода. Я пришёл попить водички.
- 00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:26,370 Сраный стакан не работает!
- 00:03:32,890 --> 00:03:34,650 Папа? Что происходит?
- 00:03:34,670 --> 00:03:37,530 Ну, впервые в жизни у Джерри что-то получилось.
- 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,590 Запомните его таким, пока он с нами.
- 00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:40,700 Пока он с нами?
- 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,556 Мутагенез.
- 00:03:44,570 --> 00:03:49,210 Клеточная трансформация, пошли метастазы, развиваются стремительно, у него есть…
- 00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:51,763 - Где-то двое суток. - Это же Пасха.
- 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,530 - Или она через неделю? - У кого есть календарь?
- 00:03:54,550 --> 00:03:57,130 - Я вырубила праздники. - Ну да, вот. Вот оно.
- 00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:58,720 Гугл говорит, на этих выходных.
- 00:03:58,740 --> 00:04:04,180 Я реально думал, что Пасха — никакой праздник, но, Джерри, ты превращаешься в Пасха Клауса.
- 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,050 О нет!
- 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,822 - Стоп. Что? - Рик, фигня какая-то.
- 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,830 Это же шутка, завязанная на фамилии Санта Клауса.
- 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:13,830 Ты понял, что я сказал? Если да, тогда всё логично.
- 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,780 Это сдерживатель митогена, он замедлит трансформацию.
- 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,910 Бэт, останься с Джерри. Морти, за мной.
- 00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:21,730 Заденобрауним это ожерелье.
- 00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:23,580 Крутяк! Пасхальное приключение.
- 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:24,870 - Саммер. - Я в Дейтону.
- 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:28,870 Точно. Упорись там, сходи с ума. Вот фальшивые доки и второй желудок для бухла.
- 00:04:28,990 --> 00:04:30,970 Накачайся молли и блевани в бассейн.
- 00:04:30,990 --> 00:04:32,729 - Нет, стой. - Я тебя обожаю, деда Рик.
- 00:04:32,771 --> 00:04:35,300 Погнали, Морти. В Альпы! Как Индиана Джонс.
- 00:04:41,370 --> 00:04:42,360 Только растаяло.
- 00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:46,910 На этой высоте должна быть вечная мерзлота. Не хочу говорить о глобальном потеплении.
- 00:04:46,970 --> 00:04:48,620 За что наш продюсер голосовал?
- 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:53,940 Ты думаешь, гигантский кролик оттаял из-за джипов и сигарет?
- 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,420 Да, Морти, он оттаял из-за сигарет.
- 00:04:56,690 --> 00:04:59,270 Не смотрел «Ледяного человека»? Фильм 1980-х.
- 00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:01,200 Это же было сто лет назад, Рик.
- 00:05:01,220 --> 00:05:03,130 - «Человек из Энсино»? - Ты старый.
- 00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:04,950 - Сам такой. Иди на хрен. - Сам иди, Рик!
- 00:05:04,970 --> 00:05:07,810 - Ты старый и вообще пидор. - Так уже нельзя говорить!
- 00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:11,120 Может, местные что-нибудь знают.
- 00:05:13,190 --> 00:05:16,130 Ого, тут какой-то «Плетёный человек» творится.
- 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,775 (Говорят по-немецки)
- 00:05:19,050 --> 00:05:21,470 В Германии на Пасху меньше шоколада.
- 00:05:21,490 --> 00:05:24,300 Говори про Америку что хочешь, но тут мы были правы.
- 00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:36,877 Ого. Большое пасхальное яйцо.
- 00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:38,610 Похоже, оно с Андромеды.
- 00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:42,030 Пришельцам не срать на праздник, на который даже нам срать?
- 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,530 Не знаю, но ответы ищем не только мы.
- 00:05:44,550 --> 00:05:46,030 Зацени задротов.
- 00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:50,660 Космо-христиане?
- 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:54,460 Это ж вроде конфликт интересов. Не сканируй меня. Я тебя сам отсканирую.
- 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,840 ДНК пасхального кролика. Он вступал с ним в контакт.
- 00:05:57,860 --> 00:06:01,470 А я вижу, что вы срёте стоя. И говно по ногам течёт.
- 00:06:01,490 --> 00:06:04,395 - Где сейчас кролик? - Пушка в форме креста?
- 00:06:04,410 --> 00:06:06,510 - Как тупо. - Никто не пострадает.
- 00:06:06,530 --> 00:06:08,060 Ну, я-то уж точно.
- 00:06:21,010 --> 00:06:24,360 Вы разве не за Пасху топите? Что тут происходит?
- 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:33,517 Яйцо повреждено. Но теперь мы знаем, откуда оно.
- 00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,580 Андромеда.
- 00:06:36,610 --> 00:06:39,590 Лети туда и уничтожь все яйца, кроме одного.
- 00:06:39,610 --> 00:06:41,670 Мы схватим кролика здесь.
- 00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:45,470 И тогда с Пасхой будет покончено.
- 00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:54,890 Они забрали яйцо. Как мы поймём, куда лететь?
- 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:56,480 Морти, мы и так знаем, куда.
- 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,570 На Андромеду.
- 00:06:57,890 --> 00:07:00,570 Точняк. Летим на Амадабру!
- 00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:02,676 Ты что…
- 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,450 Ты издеваешься?
- 00:07:04,830 --> 00:07:06,780 Бет! Выпусти меня.
- 00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,530 Рик не просто так это сделал.
- 00:07:08,830 --> 00:07:11,390 Со мной всё хорошо. Я писать хочу.
- 00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:16,250 Мне просто нужно пять минут, чтобы размять ноги.
- 00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:18,750 Ого. Твои руки…
- 00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:21,300 Знаю! Они порвали мне футболку.
- 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,710 Говорю тебе. Со мной всё офигенно.
- 00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,130 Я как будто могу…
- 00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:29,390 Охренеть, мне так стыдно, что это меня заводит.
- 00:07:29,410 --> 00:07:31,220 Видишь? Всё огонь.
- 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,370 И ты тоже огонь.
- 00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:37,100 Я тебе говорил, что ты самая горячая женщина в мире?
- 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,610 Я настолько доступная? Кажется, да.
- 00:07:39,630 --> 00:07:42,110 Я редко это говорю. Я не вижу тебя.
- 00:07:42,130 --> 00:07:43,530 Но теперь я увидел.
- 00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,030 Или, как сказали бы нави…
- 00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:47,530 Я вижу тебя.
- 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,178 Надо постельное постирать.
- 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,138 Может, ещё раз, пока не высохло?
- 00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:57,510 - Боже! - Что?
- 00:07:57,530 --> 00:07:58,120 Что?
- 00:07:58,140 --> 00:08:00,250 Джерри, у тебя чиряк на заднице.
- 00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:02,000 И там волосы внутри.
- 00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:03,500 Извини, я просто…
- 00:08:03,530 --> 00:08:06,070 Я хочу тебя трахнуть.
- 00:08:06,190 --> 00:08:08,010 Джерри? Твой зуб.
- 00:08:09,830 --> 00:08:10,800 Ты посмотри?
- 00:08:11,590 --> 00:08:12,810 И ещё один, о.
- 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,246 Рот такой странный посередине.
- 00:08:18,350 --> 00:08:21,150 - Всё, назад в призму. - Нет! Ну и что?
- 00:08:21,170 --> 00:08:23,860 У меня выпала пара зубов, пока мы ждём Рика.
- 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,360 Что тут вообще такого?
- 00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:27,030 Джерри!
- 00:08:27,420 --> 00:08:29,700 Мои ноги! Господи, мои ноги!
- 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:30,990 Они сломались!
- 00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:33,170 Стой, всё нормально.
- 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:34,990 Лучше, чем нормально.
- 00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:37,080 Ого! Посмотри на это! Смотри!
- 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,660 Так, успокойся. Мы…
- 00:08:38,690 --> 00:08:40,040 Мы найдём тебе капусту.
- 00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:42,770 - Ну почему ты такая нудная? - Ты меня пугаешь.
- 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:47,270 А ты меня вымораживаешь. Если ты такая ханжа, то я сваливаю.
- 00:08:47,850 --> 00:08:50,260 Джерри! Джерри, вернись!
- 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,110 МЛЕЧНЫЙ ПУТЬ
- 00:08:53,630 --> 00:08:55,050 АНДРОМЕДА
- 00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:58,730 Рик, мы точно там, где надо?
- 00:08:58,870 --> 00:08:59,650 Да.
- 00:09:00,010 --> 00:09:04,370 Я пытаюсь высечь местную мифологию, но вижу только Гигера на Коачелле.
- 00:09:04,490 --> 00:09:10,000 Ну, Рик, это похоже на космо-устрицу, которая гипнотизирует зверей жемчужинами…
- 00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:10,490 Нет, всё.
- 00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:13,700 Я просто выдвинул гипотезу. Ну, знаешь, типа научный подход.
- 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,030 Вот тебе наука.
- 00:09:15,060 --> 00:09:17,830 Кролик — пришелец. Его засылают на планеты в яйце.
- 00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:19,000 Убьёшь его — станешь им.
- 00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:21,000 Ладно, тогда объясни вот это.
- 00:09:21,830 --> 00:09:22,670 Легко.
- 00:09:22,690 --> 00:09:25,021 Кролик — это феромонный катализатор.
- 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,604 Он заставляет всех трахаться, пока планета не самоуничтожится
- 00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:29,859 из-за перенаселения.
- 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,920 Это чёртово терраформирование!
- 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:32,850 Сука, пригнись.
- 00:09:33,930 --> 00:09:35,760 Ого, Рик, ты это видишь?
- 00:09:35,870 --> 00:09:38,810 Да, у них жопа там, где должен быть член.
- 00:09:38,830 --> 00:09:39,280 Рик.
- 00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:42,150 Морти, у них задница спереди.
- 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,980 О, наверное, они прилетают после того, как кролик сделает своё дело.
- 00:09:47,290 --> 00:09:49,960 Кто-то из них уже повернулся? Член сзади что ли?
- 00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:50,570 Перестань.
- 00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:07,130 Готовься к встрече с создателем!
- 00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:13,590 Христиане ненавидят лысых?
- 00:10:13,610 --> 00:10:15,680 Какой тут лор? Кому помогать?
- 00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:20,710 Никому. Будем сами по себе.
- 00:10:21,650 --> 00:10:23,600 Он бежит за последним яйцом!
- 00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:25,060 Останови стоматолога!
- 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,130 Сука.
- 00:10:39,140 --> 00:10:41,290 Как мы свалим с этой планеты, Рик?
- 00:10:41,310 --> 00:10:42,660 Так же, как и они.
- 00:10:43,030 --> 00:10:45,120 - Сукин сын. - Это корабли?
- 00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:48,560 Я видел по телику, такие есть на Земле.
- 00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:50,880 Да. На острове Пасхи.
- 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,130 Можно было начать и оттуда.
- 00:10:59,130 --> 00:11:01,520 Сэр, задание выполнено.
- 00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,180 Мы не добыли яйцо.
- 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,955 Старик и его юный сын сбежали с ним.
- 00:11:06,010 --> 00:11:08,750 Тогда почему ты сказал «задание выполнено»?
- 00:11:09,410 --> 00:11:11,320 Сам не знаю. Я умираю.
- 00:11:11,340 --> 00:11:13,490 Вроде как хотел уйти на пике…
- 00:11:14,010 --> 00:11:18,070 Он был здесь. А потом куда же он оправился?
- 00:11:20,490 --> 00:11:21,510 БАР «У ДЖО»
- 00:11:34,030 --> 00:11:38,510 Не верится, что ты жив после того, как, очевидно, попал в аварию на мотоцикле.
- 00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:40,410 Да, дружище. Я тебя уважаю.
- 00:11:40,470 --> 00:11:43,210 Так уважаешь, что готов заняться сексом с ним?
- 00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:47,480 Что? Нет!
- 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,070 Но я, наверное, мог бы его чмокнуть.
- 00:11:52,590 --> 00:11:54,030 Эй, что происходит?
- 00:11:54,050 --> 00:11:55,830 Займись с кем-нибудь сексом!
- 00:11:56,410 --> 00:11:58,410 А если я просто о кого-то потрусь?
- 00:11:58,430 --> 00:11:59,330 Сойдёт.
- 00:11:59,870 --> 00:12:00,870 О да.
- 00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:02,490 Мои силы растут.
- 00:12:04,060 --> 00:12:06,660 Распад общества неминуем!
- 00:12:12,730 --> 00:12:13,570 О да.
- 00:12:15,250 --> 00:12:18,760 - Стоять, ошибка природы! - Нет. Нет!
- 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:21,350 Я должен разрушить общество!
- 00:12:21,870 --> 00:12:23,890 Не сегодня, сладенький.
- 00:12:35,150 --> 00:12:35,970 Рик!
- 00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:43,490 Мне кажется, мы начали не с той ноги.
- 00:12:43,790 --> 00:12:46,500 Христо-штурмовик, генерал Райнхард Кинкейд.
- 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:49,210 Правда в том, что мы хотим одного и того же.
- 00:12:49,230 --> 00:12:51,320 - Мы хотим, чтобы ты завалил? - Мило.
- 00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,145 Но я расскажу вам историю.
- 00:12:53,650 --> 00:12:57,250 Представители моего вида не любят секс.
- 00:12:57,820 --> 00:13:01,340 - Это что, типа вся история? - Мы думаем, это мерзко.
- 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,260 Я не люблю и в кино на это смотреть.
- 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,600 И когда его упоминают в песнях.
- 00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:06,110 Ого.
- 00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:10,100 Две тысячи лет назад мы послали штурмовика убить вашего кролика.
- 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,150 Но земляне его распяли.
- 00:13:12,170 --> 00:13:14,860 Ух ты, у нас эту историю не так рассказывают.
- 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,570 Слушайте. У вас есть яйцо.
- 00:13:16,590 --> 00:13:17,750 А у нас…
- 00:13:19,510 --> 00:13:20,700 - Папа? - Заткнись!
- 00:13:20,890 --> 00:13:23,320 Морти!
- 00:13:25,140 --> 00:13:27,040 Он сейчас вырвется!
- 00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:38,460 Твою же мать.
- 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:45,800 Джерри, ты ещё там?
- 00:13:45,830 --> 00:13:48,600 Давай, погнали домой и распасхалим тебя.
- 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:51,020 Нет никакого Джерри.
- 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,106 Только кролик.
- 00:13:53,390 --> 00:13:54,470 Соситесь.
- 00:13:54,550 --> 00:13:56,190 - Фу, блин! - Мы видели рисунки.
- 00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:58,610 Ты думаешь, мы бы не привились от этой хрени?
- 00:13:58,630 --> 00:13:59,820 Да, это капец.
- 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:03,360 Секс!
- 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,660 Сделайте ребёнка.
- 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:13,830 Хватай пенис.
- 00:14:13,950 --> 00:14:16,610 Обливай всё спермой.
- 00:14:17,050 --> 00:14:20,730 Пора заняться сексом!
- 00:14:25,610 --> 00:14:26,890 Бет!
- 00:14:33,710 --> 00:14:35,330 Джерри?
- 00:14:38,340 --> 00:14:42,350 Джерри, я хочу заниматься сексом с тобой, а не с этим.
- 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:46,700 Джерри — чудовище?
- 00:14:46,870 --> 00:14:48,210 Нет!
- 00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:50,410 Мне очень жаль.
- 00:14:50,430 --> 00:14:53,030 Прости, пожалуйста, Бет.
- 00:14:53,390 --> 00:14:56,670 - Во что я превратился? - Всё нормально.
- 00:14:56,710 --> 00:15:00,000 Ты просто хотел отметить праздник со своей семьёй.
- 00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:02,010 Но теперь понял, что не надо так делать.
- 00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:04,720 Отойди! Не могу его сдерживать!
- 00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:06,130 Я знаю, что делать.
- 00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:09,130 ЯКОРЬ
- 00:15:21,550 --> 00:15:24,570 Ну короче, вот и весь сюжет фильма «Чужой: Прометей».
- 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,450 Ого, такое не забудешь.
- 00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:28,450 А как мы перешли на эту тему?
- 00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:30,580 Не знаю, Морти, иногда я просто болтаю.
- 00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:34,450 Думаете, что победили?
- 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:38,080 Но мы послали своего лучшего бойца, и он не справился.
- 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:40,960 Вы реально думаете, что вы лучше Христа?
- 00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:42,960 Ох, даже сдохнуть не может нормально.
- 00:15:42,980 --> 00:15:44,901 Ваша планета будет…
- 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,152 Как вы там говорите?
- 00:15:46,490 --> 00:15:47,930 Вытрахана в ноль!
- 00:15:55,170 --> 00:15:56,940 Ну вот, теперь он сдох.
- 00:15:59,310 --> 00:16:00,440 Да он спит.
- 00:16:00,830 --> 00:16:02,270 Может, добить его?
- 00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:04,830 Пойдём. Он на острове и без ног.
- 00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:11,320 Морти, напомни мне удалить записи с камер.
- 00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:14,010 Это как ты мне рассказывал. Штука с крысами.
- 00:16:14,030 --> 00:16:14,770 С крысами?
- 00:16:14,810 --> 00:16:19,990 Ты рассказывал про эксперимент с крысами, когда я «на какой-то хрен расчёсывался».
- 00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:22,290 Крысиная утопия! Да, это же один в один.
- 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,232 Это же… Ты смог в науку!
- 00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:25,775 Молодец. Крутая мини-арка.
- 00:16:25,858 --> 00:16:28,870 И надо было просто слетать на Амадабру!
- 00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:30,905 Он в гараже.
- 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:34,890 И если вы эти двое суток не дрочили, то знаете, как это исправить.
- 00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:36,320 - Мы не дрочили! - Он мой внук!
- 00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:37,370 Я создал вакцину.
- 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:40,630 Не могу больше сдерживать!
- 00:16:48,130 --> 00:16:50,090 Слава богу, у нас уже был секс.
- 00:16:50,490 --> 00:16:52,240 Когда он был человеком!
- 00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:55,950 Ладно, я вытащу кроличью часть и суну в яйцо, не убив при этом Джерри.
- 00:16:55,970 --> 00:16:58,290 Не прикасайтесь к лучу, или станете кроликом.
- 00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:00,330 И, скорее всего, сразу, потому что сейчас…
- 00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:01,210 Пасха.
- 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:06,590 Ну что там ещё?
- 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,970 О, это парень с жопой!
- 00:17:10,990 --> 00:17:12,760 Морти, я видел его зад, там…
- 00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:14,260 Рик, времени нет!
- 00:17:19,750 --> 00:17:20,430 Чёрт!
- 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,320 О нет! Нет, нет…
- 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:31,132 Мама!
- 00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:40,410 Сука, ненавижу Пасху.
- 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,130 Бет! Ты не ранена?
- 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:49,230 - Джерри. - Прости меня.
- 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:56,990 Я должен всё исправить.
- 00:18:04,290 --> 00:18:05,940 Вот блин. Блин!
- 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,930 Теперь он в парне с жопой!
- 00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:19,160 Ого! Это же тот чувак!
- 00:18:19,510 --> 00:18:20,530 Как ты добрался?
- 00:18:20,590 --> 00:18:22,410 Прилетел на каменном корабле.
- 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,130 Но приземлился в городе, пришлось сесть на автобус.
- 00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:28,391 Потом вернул яйцо в разделитель, когда он его уронил,
- 00:18:28,410 --> 00:18:30,260 и залатал дыру куском мозаики.
- 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:34,458 Затем использовал это, чтобы извлечь кролика из парня с жопой
- 00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:36,970 и сунуть в яйцо, и вот мы в настоящем.
- 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,270 Все прекратили заниматься сексом.
- 00:18:40,290 --> 00:18:41,930 Это прекрасно.
- 00:18:41,950 --> 00:18:43,670 Забирай яйцо. С нас хватит.
- 00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:46,690 - И что мне с ним делать? - Не знаю. На полку поставь.
- 00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,940 Чем вы там занимаетесь у себя вместо секса?
- 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,610 - Я рад, что ты спросил. - Я не прям чтобы спросил.
- 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:52,630 Вали с лужайки!
- 00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:57,730 Ладно. Я смогу.
- 00:18:58,650 --> 00:18:59,490 Одну минутку.
- 00:19:00,810 --> 00:19:01,840 - Отвернись. - Кто…
- 00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:03,340 - Отвернись. - Кто это?
- 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:04,580 Даже не спрашивай, мам.
- 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,750 Лучше знать о праздниках поменьше.
- 00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:07,937 Хорошо сказано, сынок.
- 00:19:08,060 --> 00:19:08,990 Хорошо.
- 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,170 <i>Укрась дом пасхальными корзинками.</i>
- 00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:15,130 <i>Фа-ла-ла-ла-ла, ла-ла-ла, яйца.</i>
- 00:19:15,330 --> 00:19:18,010 <i>Искусственная трава и шоколадные зайцы.</i>
- 00:19:18,070 --> 00:19:20,750 <i>Фа-ла-ла-ла-ла, зефирная птица.</i>
- 00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:23,770 <i>Пасха — это время делиться.</i>
- 00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:26,610 <i>Фа-ла-ла, фа-ла-ла, молоко.</i>
- 00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:29,630 <i>Что-то там, что-то там, корзина, конфетки.</i>
- 00:19:29,650 --> 00:19:32,230 <i>У Джерри есть яйцо, и это класс.</i>
- 00:19:32,270 --> 00:19:35,470 <i>У президентов тоже есть дни рождения.</i>
- 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:37,970 <i>Фа-ла-ла, ла-ла-ла, празднуем.</i>
- 00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:41,330 <i>Burger King и отмечай, как хочешь.</i>
- 00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:44,080 <i>Фа-ла-ла-ла-ла, воппер, бик-мак.</i>
- 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:47,110 <i>Кто-то громкий, кто-то мрачный.</i>
- 00:19:47,170 --> 00:19:49,730 <i>Фа-ла-ла, фа-ла-ла, все разные.</i>
- 00:19:49,810 --> 00:19:52,910 <i>Корветы, «Хонды», машинки для гольфа.</i>
- 00:19:52,970 --> 00:19:55,690 <i>Всё вокруг по скидке, иди в магазин.</i>
- 00:19:55,930 --> 00:19:57,990 <i>Фа-ла-ла, ла-ла-ла, трать!</i>
- 00:19:58,050 --> 00:19:59,050 Так сойдёт.
- 00:19:59,070 --> 00:20:02,320 Хорошо, что остальные религиозные праздники были за кадром.
- 00:20:04,610 --> 00:20:07,060 Стоп, это целый календарный год прошёл?
- 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,940 А Саммер всё ещё на каникулах?
- 00:20:10,850 --> 00:20:12,520 Хочешь бахнуть ещё поппер?
- 00:20:12,550 --> 00:20:14,010 Нет! Я устала.
- 00:20:14,090 --> 00:20:15,630 Сколько мы уже тут тусим?
- 00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:17,530 Кажется, уже декабрь.
- 00:20:17,810 --> 00:20:19,150 Весенняя туса!
- 00:20:19,350 --> 00:20:21,910 Солнцезащитка! Меняю на шлёпанцы!
- 00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:25,040 Кому шоты? Можно вмазать водки, текилы или от столбняка!
- 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,710 Чёрт. Надо идти к Мэддисон.
- 00:20:28,730 --> 00:20:30,030 У тебя есть подношение?
- 00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:33,040 Мэддисон, я принёс тебе эпичный пакет грибов.
- 00:20:33,070 --> 00:20:35,010 Эпичный? Тебе что, тридцать?
- 00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:36,550 - Проваливай отсюда. - Нет!
- 00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:37,570 Что ты принесла?
- 00:20:37,630 --> 00:20:39,970 - Конфеты. И я нашла попсокет. - Мэддисон!
- 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:41,110 - Эй! - Возьми попсокет!
- 00:20:41,170 --> 00:20:42,550 Это мой. Отдай сюда.
- 00:20:42,810 --> 00:20:43,720 Драма.
- 00:20:43,740 --> 00:20:46,710 Изгоните их в зону западного бассейна.
- 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:47,910 Постой.
- 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:49,890 А что у тебя за браслет?
- 00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:55,044 Когда я поняла, что туса закончится только тогда, когда тебя заберут предки,
- 00:20:55,100 --> 00:20:56,921 я объединилась с другой девчонкой.
- 00:20:57,060 --> 00:21:00,240 Мы с Бриттани питались шотами с желе, пока у неё не выпали зубы.
- 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,760 У неё не было второго желудка под бухло.
- 00:21:03,010 --> 00:21:04,130 Она не выжила.
- 00:21:04,540 --> 00:21:06,270 Я ношу её зубы, чтобы помнить.
- 00:21:07,060 --> 00:21:08,430 Они твои, если хочешь.
- 00:21:08,790 --> 00:21:11,290 Круто. Это девчонка — моя лучшая подружка.
- 00:21:11,310 --> 00:21:12,310 Охренеть!
- 00:21:12,330 --> 00:21:13,990 Вмажемся попперами!
- 00:21:14,930 --> 00:21:16,390 Охренеть.
- 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:55,500 Дебра, любовь моя, я путешествовал меж звёзд.
- 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,710 И наконец-то я сумел понять одну вещь.
- 00:21:58,930 --> 00:22:01,630 Я хочу заняться любовью с женой.
- 00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:03,970 Что? Секс — это мерзко.
- 00:22:04,110 --> 00:22:05,300 Ты уверена?
- 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:08,600 Мне он больше не кажется странным. Я вроде как видел его вблизи.
- 00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:11,810 Тебя двадцать лет не было. Припёрся распиленный напополам.
- 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,600 С чем мне трахаться? С торчащей костью?
- 00:22:14,630 --> 00:22:16,770 И это что такое? Я яйцо не просила.
- 00:22:16,890 --> 00:22:19,930 В нем заточён бессмертный дух кролика.
- 00:22:20,460 --> 00:22:22,530 - Тебя это заводит? - Нет, ни капельки.
- 00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:25,030 Ползи куда-нибудь в другое место.
- 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,750 Я прожил свою жизнь ужасно.
- 00:22:29,770 --> 00:22:32,770 Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.
- 00:00:04,422 --> 00:00:07,298 ♪ Deck the house with Easter baskets ♪
- 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:10,135 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, eggs ♪
- 00:00:10,136 --> 00:00:13,221 ♪ Plastic grass and chocolate rabbits ♪
- 00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:16,141 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, marshmallow bird ♪
- 00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:19,060 ♪ Easter is the time for giving ♪
- 00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:22,105 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la, Easter milk ♪
- 00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:24,607 Hey, bud, wanna decorate some Easter baskets
- 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:25,900 with your old man?
- 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:27,736 What? No. I-I'm streaming on Twitch.
- 00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:29,404 "Fortnite" just added JFK.
- 00:00:29,405 --> 00:00:32,157 Maybe we could fill some baskets with jelly beans,
- 00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:33,992 you know, get our tradition on?
- 00:00:33,993 --> 00:00:35,952 I've gotta pack for spring break.
- 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,787 Also, Jelly Bean is a slur.
- 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,248 Come on, Beth. The kids are growing up.
- 00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:43,001 Maybe you and I can hide some eggs one last time?
- 00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:45,420 I don't need the house smelling like egg farts, Jerry.
- 00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:47,630 Rick. Oh...
- 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:50,091 You know what? Never mind.
- 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:53,511 Doesn't anyone celebrate Easter anymore?
- 00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:55,847 I-I don't wanna force people to go to church or anything, but--
- 00:00:55,848 --> 00:00:57,599 Can you even tell me what Easter is about?
- 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,267 It's when Christ was born.
- 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:01,686 Or was murdered, maybe. I dunno.
- 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:04,397 But we eat candy to remember. It's important.
- 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,065 Jerry, if it wasn't for the aisle at Costco,
- 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,400 you wouldn't even know it was happening.
- 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,610 Yeah, Dad.
- 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:09,986 Example-- When's Christmas?
- 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,279 December 25th.
- 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,031 And what's today's date?
- 00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:15,784 Uh, Ap-Ap-April.
- 00:01:15,785 --> 00:01:18,077 Look, I want to be a good dad, okay?
- 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,579 And-- And I know that you gotta
- 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,289 go straight up the middle to do that.
- 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:24,209 If Easter is fading from our family, that's bad.
- 00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:27,755 So, who's coming with me to get some egg dye?
- 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:34,512 Guess that just means more candy for Jer.
- 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,809 ♪ Jerry makes an egg, and it is nice ♪
- 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,018 Aaah!
- 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:44,021 Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- 00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:49,943 Oh, my God, are you ok-- Ahhhghh!
- 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:53,488 Oh, my God, what a terrible time to have eaten so much candy.
- 00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:55,281 Arghhhh!
- 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,783 Oh, I'm sorry.
- 00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,368 I'm not trying to kill you with vomit!
- 00:01:58,369 --> 00:02:00,829 I'm just so scared. Agghh!
- 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,907 {\an8}Please, please tell me this isn't who I think it is.
- 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,368 {\an8}Well, do you know of any other bipedal humanoid rabbits?
- 00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,871 {\an8}Oh, my God, I killed the Easter Bunny.
- 00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,914 {\an8}Along with the hopes and dreams of children everywhere.
- 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,458 {\an8}Summer. Share those jokes with me in private.
- 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:48,877 {\an8}Rick, what does this mean?
- 00:02:48,878 --> 00:02:51,170 {\an8}Not sure. I have a few questions.
- 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,881 {\an8}Did you puke on it to try and kill it?
- 00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:55,258 {\an8}- No! - I have no more questions.
- 00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:56,676 {\an8}Huh.
- 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,178 {\an8}This necklace is German, 13th century.
- 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,055 {\an8}Shows permafrost damage and--
- 00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:03,266 {\an8}Feel my heart. It's beating a million beats per second!
- 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:05,643 {\an8}Sweetie, calm down. Have a glass of water.
- 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:07,186 {\an8}- Breathe. - Okay, okay.
- 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,980 {\an8}Whew, you're right. It's fine.
- 00:03:16,322 --> 00:03:18,531 {\an8}- Uh, Dad. - Mm!
- 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,285 {\an8}Right, water. I came in here for water.
- 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,331 {\an8}Fucking glass doesn't work.
- 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,923 {\an8}Dad, what is happening?
- 00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:37,800 {\an8}Well, for the first time ever, Jerry accomplished something.
- 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,636 {\an8}We should remember him this way, in case we lose him.
- 00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:40,763 {\an8}Lose him?
- 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,934 {\an8}Mutagenesis. Cellular transformation,
- 00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:48,019 metastatic spread, rapidly accelerating
- 00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:49,354 with a deadline of...
- 00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:50,855 48 hours from now.
- 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:53,524 That's Easter. Unless it's next weekend?
- 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:54,817 Doesn't anyone have a calendar app?
- 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:55,944 I have holidays turned off.
- 00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:57,278 Oh, yeah, no, he-here it is.
- 00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:58,988 Google says it's this weekend.
- 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:01,324 Well, I truly thought Easter was a zero holiday,
- 00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:02,951 but, Jerry, you've been...
- 00:04:02,952 --> 00:04:04,327 Easter Claused.
- 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:05,745 Oh, no.
- 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:06,913 Wait. What?
- 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,331 Rick, that doesn't make sense.
- 00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,166 The title of the movie is based on the pun
- 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,918 - of Santa's last name. - Did you understand what I meant?
- 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,670 If so, then it made plenty of sense.
- 00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:15,004 Aah!
- 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,464 {\an8}This is a mitogen deterrent,
- 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,091 {\an8}should slow down the transformation.
- 00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:20,218 {\an8}Beth, you stay with Jerry. Morty, you're with me.
- 00:04:20,219 --> 00:04:21,886 {\an8}We're gonna Dan Brown that German necklace.
- 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,846 {\an8}Hell yeah, E-Easter adventure!
- 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,181 {\an8}- Summer. - Daytona?
- 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,933 {\an8}Exactly. Get shitfaced, go insane.
- 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,018 {\an8}Here's a fake ID and a second alcohol stomach.
- 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,812 {\an8}I want you to do some molly and throw up in a pool.
- 00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:32,563 {\an8}- No, no. Don't. - I fuckin' love you, Grandpa Rick.
- 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:33,940 {\an8}Come on, Morty, to the Alps!
- 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,483 {\an8}Let's Indiana Jones!
- 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,490 {\an8}Ah. Recent thaw.
- 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,659 {\an8}This altitude should be permafrost.
- 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:46,911 {\an8}God, I do not wanna say "climate change" on this show.
- 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,454 {\an8}I don't know which way Zaslav voted.
- 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,039 {\an8}You think that giant rabbit unfroze
- 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:54,252 {\an8}because of SUVs and, uh... cig-cig-cigarettes?
- 00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:56,796 {\an8}Yes, Morty, it unfroze because of cigarettes.
- 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,089 {\an8}You ever see "Iceman," Morty?
- 00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,382 {\an8}'80s flick? Timothy Hutton?
- 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,342 {\an8}The '80s were forever ago, Rick.
- 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:02,593 {\an8}"Encino Man"?
- 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:03,928 {\an8}- You're old. - <i>You're</i> old.
- 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,263 {\an8}- Fuck you, Morty. - Fuck you, Rick!
- 00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:06,514 {\an8}Eh, fuck you! You're old and gay.
- 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,933 {\an8}You can't say that anymore!
- 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:11,228 {\an8}Let's see if the locals know anything.
- 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:16,274 {\an8}Whoa, ch-check out this Wicker Man-looking place.
- 00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,696 German Easter is a little less chocolate-centric.
- 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,031 Say what you want about America,
- 00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:24,449 but we get a few things right.
- 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:37,045 Whoa. It's a big Easter egg.
- 00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:38,838 Looks like it's from Andromeda.
- 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,590 Why would aliens care about a holiday
- 00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:42,383 we don't even care about?
- 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,761 I dunno, but we're not the only ones looking for answers.
- 00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:46,138 Check out these nerds.
- 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:49,515 Aah! Aah!
- 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,892 Space Christians?
- 00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:52,810 I-Isn't that a conflict of interest?
- 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,645 Hey, don't scan me. I'll scan you.
- 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,397 Easter Rabbit DNA.
- 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,107 He's clearly made contact with it.
- 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,984 My scan says you shit standing up.
- 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,652 Says it gets on your legs.
- 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,112 Where is the rabbit?
- 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,156 Oh, a cross gun. That's dumb.
- 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,699 Nobody needs to get hurt.
- 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,159 I'm sure I'll be fine.
- 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,578 Aah!
- 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,121 Aah!
- 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,965 Aren't you guys on Easter's side?
- 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,550 What the hell is happening?!
- 00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:27,805 Oh! Ah!
- 00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:31,682 The egg is damaged.
- 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:35,103 But now we know where it's from.
- 00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:36,813 Andromeda!
- 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:39,816 Go there and destroy all the containment eggs except one.
- 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,901 We'll capture the rabbit here.
- 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,948 And then Easter will be finished.
- 00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:52,453 Ahh.
- 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,704 They got the egg.
- 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,206 H-How will we know where to go?
- 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,666 Morty, it's one word. We just said it.
- 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,000 Andromeda.
- 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,963 Alright! To Amadahbra!
- 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,632 Are you... Are you messing with me?
- 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:07,051 Beth. Please let me out.
- 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,719 Rick put you in there for a reason, sweetie.
- 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,472 Ugh, I feel fine! I need to pee.
- 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:16,352 I just want... five minutes... to stretch my legs!
- 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,021 Whoa. Heh. Your arms.
- 00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:21,440 I know. They ripped through my shirt!
- 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,943 I'm telling you, I feel amazing.
- 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,696 Like, I feel like I could...
- 00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:29,532 Holy shit. I feel so shallow for how turned on I am.
- 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,325 See? I'm solid.
- 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,786 And so are you.
- 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,371 - Oh. - Have I ever told you
- 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,415 you're the hottest woman I could imagine?
- 00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:39,792 Am I this easy? I think I'm this easy.
- 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,170 I don't tell you enough. I don't see you.
- 00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:43,713 But I see you now.
- 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,089 Or as the Na'vi put it...
- 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,262 We gotta wash these sheets.
- 00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:53,306 How 'bout one more go before they dry?
- 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,018 Uch, Jesus!
- 00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:58,436 - What? - What?!
- 00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:00,354 Jerry, you've got a boil on your back,
- 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,064 and there's hair inside it!
- 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,691 I'm sorry, just--
- 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:06,277 I cwath thu fwack you.
- 00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:08,946 Jerry? Your tooth.
- 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,032 Huh. Would you look at that?
- 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,075 Oh, there's another one. Oh!
- 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:16,120 Oh. Oh.
- 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,372 My mouth feels weird in the middle.
- 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,582 Okay, back in the prism.
- 00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,459 No! So-- So what?
- 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:24,128 A few teeth fell out while we wait for Rick to get back.
- 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,504 Why is that such a big dea--
- 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,548 Jerry!
- 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,926 My legs! Oh, my God, my legs!
- 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,469 They're broken!
- 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:33,846 Wait, they're-- they're fine!
- 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,264 Better than fine.
- 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,391 Wow! Look at this, babe. Look!
- 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,851 Just calm down. We'll, uh--
- 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,353 W-We'll get you more lettuce.
- 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,896 Why are you being such a drag about this?
- 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:44,315 - You're scaring me. - And you're bumming me out.
- 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:47,735 If you're gonna be such a prude, I'm getting out of here.
- 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:50,363 Jerry! Jerry, come back!
- 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,537 {\an8}Rick, are we in the right place?
- 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,039 {\an8}Yeah.
- 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,958 Trying to work out the big mythology here,
- 00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:04,543 and all I'm getting is H.R. Giger meets Coachella.
- 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,964 Okay, Rick, so, it looks like there's a space oyster,
- 00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:10,633 {\an8}- and it hypnotizes animals with its pearl-- - Uh, no. Stop. Stop.
- 00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,343 I was just makin' a hypothesis!
- 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:13,928 You know, trying out some science?
- 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,346 Here's science.
- 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:16,681 The Easter Rabbit's an alien.
- 00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:18,057 They send it to planets in an egg.
- 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,267 If you kill it, you become it.
- 00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:21,018 Okay, well, explain this, then.
- 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,853 Easy.
- 00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,273 The rabbit is some kind of pheromonal catalyst.
- 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:27,024 L-Looks like it makes everyone have sex
- 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,360 until the planet gets overpopulated and collapses.
- 00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,862 It's fuck-based terraforming!
- 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,698 Shit, duck!
- 00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,992 Whoa, Rick, d-do you see that?
- 00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:39,036 Yeah. It has a butt where its dick should be.
- 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,079 - Rick. - Morty.
- 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,249 Its butt is in the front.
- 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,917 Ooooh, these must be the guys
- 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,253 who move in after the rabbit's done its stuff.
- 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,005 Have you seen any of them turn around yet?
- 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,882 - Is it in the back? - Stop it.
- 00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:07,189 - Prepare to meet your maker! - Huh?
- 00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:13,738 Christ guys hate the bald guys?
- 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,865 What is the lore? Who do we help?
- 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,245 Neither! We're gonna third party!
- 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,789 He's going for the last egg!
- 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,082 Stop the dentist!
- 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,625 Aah!
- 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,794 Shit!
- 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,714 Aah!
- 00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:41,349 H-How are we getting off this planet, Rick?
- 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:42,850 Same way they do.
- 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,268 Son of a bitch.
- 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,394 Those are ships?
- 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,772 {\an8}Oh, I've seen this on TV.
- 00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,398 {\an8}- Th-They're on Earth! - Yep.
- 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,108 On Easter Island.
- 00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,153 Suppose that might've been a good place to start.
- 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,660 Sir... mission successful.
- 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,496 We didn't get an egg.
- 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:06,207 The old man and his young son escaped with it.
- 00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:09,585 <i>Why did you say mission successful, then?</i>
- 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,629 I dunno. I'm dying.
- 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,589 Kinda wanted to go out on a high--
- 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,508 He was here.
- 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:18,512 Now... where did he go?
- 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,695 Can't believe you're here after that motorcycle accident
- 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,656 you clearly just walked away from.
- 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:40,699 Yeah, buddy. I respect you.
- 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,495 You respect me enough to have sex with that guy?
- 00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:47,582 What? No!
- 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,545 But maybe I could give him a little smooch.
- 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,255 Whoa, what's going on?
- 00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,549 Have sex with someone!
- 00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,509 How 'bout a dry hump instead?
- 00:11:58,510 --> 00:11:59,718 Good enough.
- 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,095 Oh, yeah.
- 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,597 Powers growing.
- 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,809 Societal collapse imminent!
- 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,317 Oh, yeah. Oh.
- 00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,194 Freeze, abomination!
- 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:18,946 No! No!
- 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,866 Must collapse society!
- 00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,076 Not today, cupcake.
- 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,255 Aaah! Rick!
- 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,846 I feel like we got off on the wrong foot here.
- 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,849 Christrooper General Reinhard Kincaid.
- 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,477 The truth is, we both want the same thing.
- 00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:50,936 We both want you to shut up?
- 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,772 Cute. Let me tell you a story.
- 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:57,985 My species does not like sex.
- 00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,154 Is that... the whole story?
- 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,655 We think it's gross.
- 00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,574 I don't like seeing it in movies or TV.
- 00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,701 It upsets me when they reference it in pop songs.
- 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,578 - Wow. - 2,000 years ago,
- 00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:10,331 we sent a Trooper here to kill your rabbit.
- 00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:12,416 But Earth crucified him.
- 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,044 Whoa. That is <i>not</i> how we tell that story.
- 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,670 Look, you have the egg.
- 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,005 We have...
- 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:20,841 - Dad?! - Shut up.
- 00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,385 Mo-o-o-rty!
- 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,264 He's gonna break through!
- 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,567 Holy shit.
- 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,200 Jerry. You in there?
- 00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:48,702 Come on, let's get you home and un-Easter-Clause you.
- 00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:51,247 There is no Jerry.
- 00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:54,375 Only Bunny. Kiss.
- 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,293 - Gross, dude. - Dad! We saw the murals.
- 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,586 You don't think the first thing we would do
- 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:58,712 is inoculate ourselves?
- 00:13:58,713 --> 00:13:59,964 Yeah, this is a low.
- 00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:03,425 Sex!
- 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,809 Have baby.
- 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,978 Cram penis.
- 00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:17,064 Spill juice.
- 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:20,652 Time to make fuuuuck!
- 00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,283 - Aah! - Beth!
- 00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:29,702 Aah!
- 00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:36,208 J-Jerry?
- 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,794 Aah!
- 00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:42,924 Jerry! I want to have sex with <i>you,</i> not this.
- 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,011 Jerry monster?
- 00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,679 No!
- 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,681 So sorry.
- 00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:53,601 I'm sorry, Beth.
- 00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,853 What have I become?
- 00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:57,563 It's okay.
- 00:14:57,564 --> 00:15:00,399 You just wanted to celebrate a holiday with your family.
- 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,401 Now you know never to do that again.
- 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,029 Get back! Can't control it!
- 00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,322 I know what to do.
- 00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:24,840 Anyway, that's the whole plot of "Alien: Prometheus."
- 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,967 Wow! Sounds memorable!
- 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,969 H-How'd we even start talking about that?
- 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,846 I dunno, Morty. Sometimes I just get on tangents.
- 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,975 You think you've won.
- 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:38,520 But we sent our best man, and he couldn't do the job.
- 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:41,357 Do you truly think you're better than the Christ?
- 00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:43,359 Ugh. This guy doesn't even die when he's dead.
- 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,487 Your planet will be, how do you say it,
- 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,322 fucked out.
- 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:52,576 Ho.
- 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:57,331 Okay, now he's dead.
- 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,918 He's sleeping.
- 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,711 Do we... <i>need</i> to kill him?
- 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:05,422 We can go. He's on an island without legs.
- 00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,804 Morty, remind me to delete the Ring cams after this.
- 00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,222 It's like that thing you told me about,
- 00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:15,432 - the-- the rat thing. - Rat thing?
- 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,559 You told me once about an experiment with rats.
- 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,104 When I was, "wasting time brushing my hair."
- 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,731 Rat utopia! Morty! I-It's exactly like that.
- 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,441 That's-- You did science!
- 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,984 Good job. Nice little mini-arc.
- 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:30,364 And all it took was a trip to Amadahbra!
- 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:31,699 He's in the garage.
- 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,325 And unless you guys just jerked around
- 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,244 for the last 48 hours, you know how to fix this.
- 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:36,453 - He's my grandson! - We didn't jerk anything!
- 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:37,705 I made a vaccine.
- 00:16:37,706 --> 00:16:41,667 Can't... hold it... in!
- 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,718 Thank god we already had sex.
- 00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:52,678 When he was a <i>person.</i>
- 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,680 Alright, I'm gonna extract the rabbit particles into this egg
- 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,557 without killing Jerry.
- 00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:58,726 Do <i>not</i> touch the beam or you'll become the bunny.
- 00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,519 And I'm guessing it'll be fast, because it's...
- 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,855 Easter.
- 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:06,859 Ugh, what now?!
- 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,321 Ooh! It's a-- It's a butt guy!
- 00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:13,073 Morty, I saw his back part! He's got a--
- 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,450 Rick, there's no time!
- 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,453 Aah!
- 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,039 Shit!
- 00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:25,127 Guuuuaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
- 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,507 Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!
- 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:31,508 Mom!
- 00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,095 Aah!
- 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:40,643 Agh! God, I hate Easter!
- 00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:45,689 Aaah!
- 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,524 Beth, are you okay?!
- 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,694 - Jerry. - I'm so sorry!
- 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:58,076 I have to fix this.
- 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,705 Aah! Aah!
- 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,293 Oh, fuck! Fuck!
- 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,629 It's in the Butt Guy!
- 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,556 Whoa! It's that guy!
- 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:20,891 How did you get here?
- 00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:22,851 I took the big stone ship.
- 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:25,521 But I landed downtown, so then I took a bus.
- 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,064 Then I put the egg back in the splitter
- 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,732 after he dropped it in front of me
- 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,651 and patched the egg with a piece from that mosaic.
- 00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:33,278 Then I used that to get the bunny out of the butt guy
- 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,988 into the egg, which you guys saw,
- 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:38,283 and now we're in the present.
- 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,702 Everyone stopped having sex.
- 00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:42,287 It's-- It's beautiful.
- 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,872 You can keep the egg. We're done here.
- 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,374 What am I gonna do with this?
- 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,209 I dunno. Use it as art?
- 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,253 What do people do on your planet if they're not having sex?
- 00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:50,712 I'm so glad you asked.
- 00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:51,839 We weren't actually asking.
- 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,173 Get off our lawn.
- 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:58,053 Alright, I can do it.
- 00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,972 Just give me a moment.
- 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,599 - Turn away. Turn away. - Who--
- 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,060 - Who was that? - Honestly, Mom, don't ask.
- 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,020 The less we know about holidays the better.
- 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,773 Well said, son. Well said.
- 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,401 ♪ Deck the house with Easter baskets ♪
- 00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:15,529 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, eggs ♪
- 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:18,365 ♪ Plastic grass and chocolate rabbits ♪
- 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:21,159 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, marshmallow bird ♪
- 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,204 ♪ Easter is the time for giving ♪
- 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,957 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la, Easter milk ♪
- 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:30,002 ♪ Something, something, basket, candy ♪
- 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,421 ♪ Jerry makes an egg, and it is nice ♪
- 00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:35,716 ♪ Oh, presidents can have a birthday ♪
- 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:38,594 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la, celebrate ♪
- 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:41,638 ♪ Burger King and do it your way ♪
- 00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:44,433 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, Whopper, Big Mac ♪
- 00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:47,436 ♪ Some are loud and some are somber ♪
- 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,980 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la, different things ♪
- 00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:53,275 ♪ Corvettes and Hondas, Mr. Golf Cart ♪
- 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:55,986 ♪ Everything's a sale, go to the store ♪
- 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:57,738 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la, spend ♪
- 00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,656 That should do it.
- 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:02,744 I-I'm happy we did all the other religious holidays off-screen.
- 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,414 Wait, did we just live through a whole calendar year?
- 00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,249 Is Summer still at spring break?!
- 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,753 You wanna do more poppers?
- 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,421 No, I'm tired.
- 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,006 How long have we been here?
- 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,925 I think it's December.
- 00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:19,635 Spring break!
- 00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:22,054 Sunblock, trading sunblock for flip-flops!
- 00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,348 We've got shots. Tequila shots, Vodka shots.
- 00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:25,349 Tetanus shots!
- 00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,936 Shit. Gotta go see Madison.
- 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:30,687 Do you have a tribute?
- 00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:33,357 Madison! I've brought you this epic gram of mushrooms.
- 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,317 "Epic"? What are you, 30?
- 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:36,735 - Get the hell out of my tent. - No!
- 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,153 What did you bring her?
- 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,738 Weed gummies, and I found a PopSocket.
- 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,406 - Hey! - Madison! I brought you a PopSocket!
- 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,741 That's mine! Give it back!
- 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,242 Ugh, drama.
- 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,371 Exile them to the Best Western pool area.
- 00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:48,705 Hold up.
- 00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,457 What's the story on that bracelet?
- 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:53,377 After I realized spring break only ends
- 00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,045 if your parents pick you up,
- 00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:57,255 I holed up with another forgotten girl I met.
- 00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,634 Me and Brittany lived on jello shots until her teeth fell out.
- 00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:03,428 She didn't have a second stomach just for alcohol.
- 00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:04,805 She didn't make it.
- 00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:07,349 I wear her teeth to remember.
- 00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,101 They're yours if you want 'em.
- 00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:11,687 Tight. This girl is my new bestie.
- 00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:14,523 - Hell yeah. - Let's do poppers!
- 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,775 Hell... yeah.
- 00:21:52,270 --> 00:21:55,939 Debra. My love. I voyaged across the stars.
- 00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:59,359 And I've realized one thing above all others.
- 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:02,154 I want to make love to my wife.
- 00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:04,281 What? Sex is gross.
- 00:22:04,282 --> 00:22:05,657 Are you sure?
- 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,284 It doesn't weird me out anymore.
- 00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:09,036 I sort of got to see it up close.
- 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:12,039 You've been gone for 20 years. You came back in half.
- 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,498 What am I gonna fuck,
- 00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:15,042 that bone that's sticking out of your body?
- 00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:17,169 Also, what is that? I didn't ask for a big egg.
- 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:20,839 It's got an immortal bunny spirit in it.
- 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,966 - Does that turn you on? - No. Absolutely not.
- 00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:25,553 Drag yourself somewhere else.
- 00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:30,641 I have lived my life poorly.
- 00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:33,728 Did you get any of that?
- 00:00:04,422 --> 00:00:07,298 Jerry: ♪ Deck the house with Easter baskets ♪
- 00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:10,135 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, eggs ♪
- 00:00:10,136 --> 00:00:13,221 ♪ Plastic grass and chocolate rabbits ♪
- 00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:16,141 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, marshmallow bird ♪
- 00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:19,060 ♪ Easter is the time for giving ♪
- 00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:22,105 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la, Easter milk ♪
- 00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:24,607 Hey, bud, wanna decorate some Easter baskets
- 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:25,900 with your old man?
- 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:27,736 What? No. I-I'm streaming on Twitch.
- 00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:29,404 "Fortnite" just added JFK.
- 00:00:29,405 --> 00:00:32,157 Maybe we could fill some baskets with jelly beans,
- 00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:33,992 you know, get our tradition on?
- 00:00:33,993 --> 00:00:35,952 I've gotta pack for spring break.
- 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,787 Also, Jelly Bean is a slur.
- 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,248 Come on, Beth. The kids are growing up.
- 00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:43,001 Maybe you and I can hide some eggs one last time?
- 00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:45,420 I don't need the house smelling like egg farts, Jerry.
- 00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:47,630 Rick. Oh...
- 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:50,091 You know what? Never mind.
- 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:53,511 Doesn't anyone celebrate Easter anymore?
- 00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:55,847 I-I don't wanna force people to go to church or anything, but--
- 00:00:55,848 --> 00:00:57,599 Can you even tell me what Easter is about?
- 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,267 It's when Christ was born.
- 00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:01,686 Or was murdered, maybe. I dunno.
- 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:04,397 But we eat candy to remember. It's important.
- 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,065 Jerry, if it wasn't for the aisle at Costco,
- 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,400 you wouldn't even know it was happening.
- 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,610 Yeah, Dad.
- 00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:09,986 Example-- When's Christmas?
- 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,279 December 25th.
- 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,031 And what's today's date?
- 00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:15,784 Uh, Ap-Ap-April.
- 00:01:15,785 --> 00:01:18,077 Look, I want to be a good dad, okay?
- 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,579 And-- And I know that you gotta
- 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,289 go straight up the middle to do that.
- 00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:24,209 If Easter is fading from our family, that's bad.
- 00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:27,755 So, who's coming with me to get some egg dye?
- 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:34,512 Guess that just means more candy for Jer.
- 00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:38,431 [ Humming "Deck the Halls" ]
- 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,809 ♪ Jerry makes an egg, and it is nice ♪
- 00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:42,018 Aaah!
- 00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:44,021 Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- 00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:49,943 Oh, my God, are you ok-- Ahhhghh!
- 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:53,488 Oh, my God, what a terrible time to have eaten so much candy.
- 00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:55,281 Arghhhh!
- 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:56,783 Oh, I'm sorry.
- 00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,368 I'm not trying to kill you with vomit!
- 00:01:58,369 --> 00:02:00,829 I'm just so scared. Agghh!
- 00:02:00,830 --> 00:02:29,816 {\an8}♪
- 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,486 [ Electricity zapping ]
- 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,907 {\an8}Please, please tell me this isn't who I think it is.
- 00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,368 {\an8}Well, do you know of any other bipedal humanoid rabbits?
- 00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,871 {\an8}Oh, my God, I killed the Easter Bunny.
- 00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,914 {\an8}Along with the hopes and dreams of children everywhere.
- 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,458 {\an8}Summer. Share those jokes with me in private.
- 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:48,877 {\an8}Rick, what does this mean?
- 00:02:48,878 --> 00:02:51,170 {\an8}Not sure. I have a few questions.
- 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,881 {\an8}Did you puke on it to try and kill it?
- 00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:55,258 {\an8}- No! - I have no more questions.
- 00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:56,676 {\an8}Huh.
- 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,178 {\an8}This necklace is German, 13th century.
- 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,055 {\an8}Shows permafrost damage and--
- 00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:03,266 {\an8}Feel my heart. It's beating a million beats per second!
- 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:05,643 {\an8}Sweetie, calm down. Have a glass of water.
- 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:07,186 {\an8}- Breathe. - Okay, okay.
- 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,980 {\an8}Whew, you're right. It's fine.
- 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,691 {\an8}[ Sighs ]
- 00:03:13,736 --> 00:03:15,404 {\an8}[ Munching ]
- 00:03:16,322 --> 00:03:18,531 {\an8}- Uh, Dad. - Mm!
- 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,285 {\an8}Right, water. I came in here for water.
- 00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:24,871 {\an8}[ Coughing ]
- 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,331 {\an8}Fucking glass doesn't work.
- 00:03:26,332 --> 00:03:28,207 {\an8}[ Grunts ]
- 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,794 {\an8}[ Humming ]
- 00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:32,962 {\an8}[ Gulping ]
- 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,923 {\an8}Dad, what is happening?
- 00:03:34,924 --> 00:03:37,800 {\an8}Well, for the first time ever, Jerry accomplished something.
- 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,636 {\an8}We should remember him this way, in case we lose him.
- 00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:40,763 {\an8}Lose him?
- 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,934 {\an8}Mutagenesis. Cellular transformation,
- 00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:48,019 metastatic spread, rapidly accelerating
- 00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:49,354 with a deadline of...
- 00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:50,855 48 hours from now.
- 00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:53,524 That's Easter. Unless it's next weekend?
- 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:54,817 Doesn't anyone have a calendar app?
- 00:03:54,818 --> 00:03:55,944 I have holidays turned off.
- 00:03:55,945 --> 00:03:57,278 Oh, yeah, no, he-here it is.
- 00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:58,988 Google says it's this weekend.
- 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:01,324 Well, I truly thought Easter was a zero holiday,
- 00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:02,951 but, Jerry, you've been...
- 00:04:02,952 --> 00:04:04,327 Easter Claused.
- 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:05,745 Oh, no.
- 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:06,913 Wait. What?
- 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,331 Rick, that doesn't make sense.
- 00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,166 The title of the movie is based on the pun
- 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,918 - of Santa's last name. - Did you understand what I meant?
- 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,670 If so, then it made plenty of sense.
- 00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:15,004 Aah!
- 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,464 {\an8}This is a mitogen deterrent,
- 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,091 {\an8}should slow down the transformation.
- 00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:20,218 {\an8}Beth, you stay with Jerry. Morty, you're with me.
- 00:04:20,219 --> 00:04:21,886 {\an8}We're gonna Dan Brown that German necklace.
- 00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,846 {\an8}Hell yeah, E-Easter adventure!
- 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:25,181 {\an8}- Summer. - Daytona?
- 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,933 {\an8}Exactly. Get shitfaced, go insane.
- 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:29,018 {\an8}Here's a fake ID and a second alcohol stomach.
- 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,812 {\an8}I want you to do some molly and throw up in a pool.
- 00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:32,563 {\an8}- No, no. Don't. - I fuckin' love you, Grandpa Rick.
- 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:33,940 {\an8}Come on, Morty, to the Alps!
- 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,483 {\an8}Let's Indiana Jones!
- 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:40,863 {\an8}♪
- 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,490 {\an8}Ah. Recent thaw.
- 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,659 {\an8}This altitude should be permafrost.
- 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:46,911 {\an8}God, I do not wanna say "climate change" on this show.
- 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,454 {\an8}I don't know which way Zaslav voted.
- 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,039 {\an8}You think that giant rabbit unfroze
- 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:54,252 {\an8}because of SUVs and, uh... cig-cig-cigarettes?
- 00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:56,796 {\an8}Yes, Morty, it unfroze because of cigarettes.
- 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,089 {\an8}You ever see "Iceman," Morty?
- 00:04:58,090 --> 00:04:59,382 {\an8}'80s flick? Timothy Hutton?
- 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,342 {\an8}The '80s were forever ago, Rick.
- 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:02,593 {\an8}"Encino Man"?
- 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:03,928 {\an8}- You're old. - <i>You're</i> old.
- 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,263 {\an8}- Fuck you, Morty. - Fuck you, Rick!
- 00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:06,514 {\an8}Eh, fuck you! You're old and gay.
- 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,933 {\an8}You can't say that anymore!
- 00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:11,228 {\an8}Let's see if the locals know anything.
- 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:16,274 {\an8}Whoa, ch-check out this Wicker Man-looking place.
- 00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:19,193 [ Speaking German ]
- 00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,696 German Easter is a little less chocolate-centric.
- 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,031 Say what you want about America,
- 00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:24,449 but we get a few things right.
- 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,826 [ Choral singing ]
- 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:34,792 {\an8}♪
- 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:37,045 Whoa. It's a big Easter egg.
- 00:05:37,046 --> 00:05:38,838 Looks like it's from Andromeda.
- 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,590 Why would aliens care about a holiday
- 00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:42,383 we don't even care about?
- 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,761 I dunno, but we're not the only ones looking for answers.
- 00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:46,138 Check out these nerds.
- 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:49,515 Aah! Aah!
- 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,892 Space Christians?
- 00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:52,810 I-Isn't that a conflict of interest?
- 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,645 Hey, don't scan me. I'll scan you.
- 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,397 Easter Rabbit DNA.
- 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,107 He's clearly made contact with it.
- 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,984 My scan says you shit standing up.
- 00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,652 Says it gets on your legs.
- 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,112 Where is the rabbit?
- 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,156 Oh, a cross gun. That's dumb.
- 00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,699 Nobody needs to get hurt.
- 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,159 I'm sure I'll be fine.
- 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,578 - [ Grunting ] - Aah!
- 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,121 Aah!
- 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:21,297 {\an8}♪
- 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,965 Aren't you guys on Easter's side?
- 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:24,550 What the hell is happening?!
- 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:25,802 [ Grunting ]
- 00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:27,805 Oh! Ah!
- 00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:31,682 The egg is damaged.
- 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:35,103 But now we know where it's from.
- 00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:36,813 Andromeda!
- 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:39,816 Go there and destroy all the containment eggs except one.
- 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,901 We'll capture the rabbit here.
- 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,948 And then Easter will be finished.
- 00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:52,453 Ahh.
- 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,704 They got the egg.
- 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:55,206 H-How will we know where to go?
- 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,666 Morty, it's one word. We just said it.
- 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,000 Andromeda.
- 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,963 Alright! To Amadahbra!
- 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,632 Are you... Are you messing with me?
- 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:07,051 Beth. Please let me out.
- 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,719 Rick put you in there for a reason, sweetie.
- 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:11,472 Ugh, I feel fine! I need to pee.
- 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:16,352 I just want... five minutes... to stretch my legs!
- 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,021 Whoa. Heh. Your arms.
- 00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:21,440 I know. They ripped through my shirt!
- 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,943 I'm telling you, I feel amazing.
- 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,696 Like, I feel like I could...
- 00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:29,532 Holy shit. I feel so shallow for how turned on I am.
- 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,325 See? I'm solid.
- 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,786 And so are you.
- 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,371 - Oh. [ Giggles ] - Have I ever told you
- 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,415 you're the hottest woman I could imagine?
- 00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:39,792 Am I this easy? I think I'm this easy.
- 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,170 I don't tell you enough. I don't see you.
- 00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:43,713 But I see you now.
- 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,089 Or as the Na'vi put it...
- 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:47,800 {\an8}[ Speaking Na'vi ]
- 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,635 [ Breathing heavily ]
- 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,262 We gotta wash these sheets.
- 00:07:51,263 --> 00:07:53,306 How 'bout one more go before they dry?
- 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:55,600 [ Both moaning ]
- 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,018 Uch, Jesus!
- 00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:58,436 - What? - What?!
- 00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:00,354 Jerry, you've got a boil on your back,
- 00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,064 and there's hair inside it!
- 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:03,691 I'm sorry, just--
- 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:06,277 I cwath thu fwack you.
- 00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:08,946 Jerry? Your tooth.
- 00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,032 Huh. Would you look at that?
- 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,075 Oh, there's another one. Oh!
- 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:16,120 [ Chuckles ] Oh. Oh.
- 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,372 My mouth feels weird in the middle.
- 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,582 Okay, back in the prism.
- 00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,459 No! So-- So what?
- 00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:24,128 A few teeth fell out while we wait for Rick to get back.
- 00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:25,504 Why is that such a big dea--
- 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,548 - [ Screaming ] - Jerry!
- 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,926 My legs! Oh, my God, my legs!
- 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,469 They're broken!
- 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:33,846 Wait, they're-- they're fine!
- 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,264 Better than fine.
- 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,391 Wow! Look at this, babe. Look!
- 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,851 Just calm down. We'll, uh--
- 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,353 W-We'll get you more lettuce.
- 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,896 Why are you being such a drag about this?
- 00:08:41,897 --> 00:08:44,315 - You're scaring me. - And you're bumming me out.
- 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:47,735 If you're gonna be such a prude, I'm getting out of here.
- 00:08:47,736 --> 00:08:50,363 Jerry! Jerry, come back!
- 00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:56,744 {\an8}♪
- 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,537 {\an8}Rick, are we in the right place?
- 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,039 {\an8}Yeah.
- 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,958 Trying to work out the big mythology here,
- 00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:04,543 and all I'm getting is H.R. Giger meets Coachella.
- 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,964 Okay, Rick, so, it looks like there's a space oyster,
- 00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:10,633 {\an8}- and it hypnotizes animals with its pearl-- - Uh, no. Stop. Stop.
- 00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,343 I was just makin' a hypothesis!
- 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:13,928 You know, trying out some science?
- 00:09:13,929 --> 00:09:15,346 Here's science.
- 00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:16,681 The Easter Rabbit's an alien.
- 00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:18,057 They send it to planets in an egg.
- 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,267 If you kill it, you become it.
- 00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:21,018 Okay, well, explain this, then.
- 00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,853 Easy.
- 00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:25,273 The rabbit is some kind of pheromonal catalyst.
- 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:27,024 L-Looks like it makes everyone have sex
- 00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:29,360 until the planet gets overpopulated and collapses.
- 00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,862 It's fuck-based terraforming!
- 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,698 Shit, duck!
- 00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,992 Whoa, Rick, d-do you see that?
- 00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:39,036 Yeah. It has a butt where its dick should be.
- 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,079 - Rick. - Morty.
- 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,249 Its butt is in the front.
- 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,917 Ooooh, these must be the guys
- 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,253 who move in after the rabbit's done its stuff.
- 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,005 Have you seen any of them turn around yet?
- 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:50,882 - Is it in the back? - Stop it.
- 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,553 [ Screeching ]
- 00:09:55,554 --> 00:10:03,602 {\an8}♪
- 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,062 [ Cage clatters ]
- 00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:07,189 - Prepare to meet your maker! - Huh?
- 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,484 [ Screeching ]
- 00:10:11,903 --> 00:10:13,738 Christ guys hate the bald guys?
- 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,865 What is the lore? Who do we help?
- 00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:19,076 [ Screeching ]
- 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,245 Neither! We're gonna third party!
- 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,789 - [ Panting ] - He's going for the last egg!
- 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:25,082 Stop the dentist!
- 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,625 Aah!
- 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,794 Shit!
- 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,714 Aah!
- 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,257 [ Screeching ]
- 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:39,388 {\an8}♪
- 00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:41,349 H-How are we getting off this planet, Rick?
- 00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:42,850 Same way they do.
- 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,268 Son of a bitch.
- 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,394 Those are ships?
- 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,772 {\an8}Oh, I've seen this on TV.
- 00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,398 {\an8}- Th-They're on Earth! - Yep.
- 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,108 On Easter Island.
- 00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,153 Suppose that might've been a good place to start.
- 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,660 Sir... mission successful.
- 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,496 We didn't get an egg.
- 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:06,207 The old man and his young son escaped with it.
- 00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:09,585 Kincaid: <i>Why did you say mission successful, then?</i>
- 00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,629 I dunno. I'm dying.
- 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,589 Kinda wanted to go out on a high--
- 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,508 He was here.
- 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:18,512 Now... where did he go?
- 00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:23,641 [ <i>Up-tempo country music plays</i> ]
- 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:32,024 {\an8}♪
- 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,276 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,695 Can't believe you're here after that motorcycle accident
- 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,656 you clearly just walked away from.
- 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:40,699 Yeah, buddy. I respect you.
- 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,495 You respect me enough to have sex with that guy?
- 00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:47,582 What? No!
- 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,545 But maybe I could give him a little smooch.
- 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,255 Whoa, what's going on?
- 00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,549 Have sex with someone!
- 00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,509 How 'bout a dry hump instead?
- 00:11:58,510 --> 00:11:59,718 Good enough.
- 00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,095 Oh, yeah.
- 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:02,597 Powers growing.
- 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,809 Societal collapse imminent!
- 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,602 [ Banging, clattering ]
- 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:11,439 [ Laughter ]
- 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,898 [ Zipper opens ]
- 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,317 Oh, yeah. Oh.
- 00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,194 Freeze, abomination!
- 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:18,946 No! No!
- 00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,866 Must collapse society!
- 00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:24,076 Not today, cupcake.
- 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:34,670 {\an8}♪
- 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,255 Aaah! Rick!
- 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:41,343 {\an8}♪
- 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,846 I feel like we got off on the wrong foot here.
- 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,849 Christrooper General Reinhard Kincaid.
- 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,477 The truth is, we both want the same thing.
- 00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:50,936 We both want you to shut up?
- 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:53,772 Cute. Let me tell you a story.
- 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:57,985 My species does not like sex.
- 00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,154 Is that... the whole story?
- 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,655 We think it's gross.
- 00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,574 I don't like seeing it in movies or TV.
- 00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,701 It upsets me when they reference it in pop songs.
- 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,578 - Wow. - 2,000 years ago,
- 00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:10,331 we sent a Trooper here to kill your rabbit.
- 00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:12,416 But Earth crucified him.
- 00:13:12,417 --> 00:13:15,044 Whoa. That is <i>not</i> how we tell that story.
- 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,670 Look, you have the egg.
- 00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,005 We have...
- 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,590 [ Grunting ]
- 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:20,841 - Dad?! - Shut up.
- 00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:23,385 Mo-o-o-rty!
- 00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,387 [ Growls ]
- 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:27,264 He's gonna break through!
- 00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:30,227 [ Growling ]
- 00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:35,023 [ Screeching ]
- 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,567 Holy shit.
- 00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:44,448 {\an8}♪
- 00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:46,200 Jerry. You in there?
- 00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:48,702 Come on, let's get you home and un-Easter-Clause you.
- 00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:51,247 There is no Jerry.
- 00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:54,375 Only Bunny. Kiss.
- 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,293 - Gross, dude. - Dad! We saw the murals.
- 00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,586 You don't think the first thing we would do
- 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:58,712 is inoculate ourselves?
- 00:13:58,713 --> 00:13:59,964 Yeah, this is a low.
- 00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:03,425 Sex!
- 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:08,889 {\an8}♪
- 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,809 Have baby.
- 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,978 Cram penis.
- 00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:17,064 Spill juice.
- 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:20,652 Time to make fuuuuck!
- 00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,698 [ People moaning ]
- 00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,283 - Aah! - Beth!
- 00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:28,576 [ Breathing heavily ]
- 00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:29,702 Aah!
- 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:31,663 [ Growling ]
- 00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:33,998 [ Jerry breathing heavily ]
- 00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:36,208 J-Jerry?
- 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,794 Aah!
- 00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:42,924 Jerry! I want to have sex with <i>you,</i> not this.
- 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,011 Jerry monster?
- 00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,679 No!
- 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,681 So sorry.
- 00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:53,601 I'm sorry, Beth.
- 00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:55,853 What have I become?
- 00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:57,563 It's okay.
- 00:14:57,564 --> 00:15:00,399 You just wanted to celebrate a holiday with your family.
- 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,401 Now you know never to do that again.
- 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,029 Get back! Can't control it!
- 00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,322 I know what to do.
- 00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:12,453 {\an8}♪
- 00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:14,788 [ Grunting ]
- 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:22,046 {\an8}♪
- 00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:24,840 Anyway, that's the whole plot of "Alien: Prometheus."
- 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,967 Wow! Sounds memorable!
- 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,969 H-How'd we even start talking about that?
- 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,846 I dunno, Morty. Sometimes I just get on tangents.
- 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,015 [ Laughing ]
- 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,975 You think you've won.
- 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:38,520 But we sent our best man, and he couldn't do the job.
- 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:41,357 Do you truly think you're better than the Christ?
- 00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:43,359 Ugh. This guy doesn't even die when he's dead.
- 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,487 Your planet will be, how do you say it,
- 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,322 fucked out.
- 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:51,533 [ Laughing ]
- 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:52,576 Ho.
- 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:55,204 [ Wheezes ]
- 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:57,331 Okay, now he's dead.
- 00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,625 [ Snoring ]
- 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,918 He's sleeping.
- 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,711 Do we... <i>need</i> to kill him?
- 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:05,422 We can go. He's on an island without legs.
- 00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:06,966 [ Both moaning ]
- 00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,804 Morty, remind me to delete the Ring cams after this.
- 00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,222 It's like that thing you told me about,
- 00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:15,432 - the-- the rat thing. - Rat thing?
- 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,559 You told me once about an experiment with rats.
- 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,104 When I was, "wasting time brushing my hair."
- 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,731 Rat utopia! Morty! I-It's exactly like that.
- 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,441 That's-- You did science!
- 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,984 Good job. Nice little mini-arc.
- 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:30,364 And all it took was a trip to Amadahbra!
- 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:31,699 He's in the garage.
- 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,325 And unless you guys just jerked around
- 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,244 for the last 48 hours, you know how to fix this.
- 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:36,453 - He's my grandson! - We didn't jerk anything!
- 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:37,705 I made a vaccine.
- 00:16:37,706 --> 00:16:41,667 Can't... hold it... in!
- 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,837 [ People moaning ]
- 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:48,507 [ Breathing heavily ]
- 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,718 Thank god we already had sex.
- 00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:52,678 When he was a <i>person.</i>
- 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,680 Alright, I'm gonna extract the rabbit particles into this egg
- 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,557 without killing Jerry.
- 00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:58,726 Do <i>not</i> touch the beam or you'll become the bunny.
- 00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:00,519 And I'm guessing it'll be fast, because it's...
- 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,855 Easter.
- 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:05,274 [ Growling ]
- 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:06,859 Ugh, what now?!
- 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,361 [ Groaning ]
- 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,321 Ooh! It's a-- It's a butt guy!
- 00:17:11,322 --> 00:17:13,073 Morty, I saw his back part! He's got a--
- 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,450 Rick, there's no time!
- 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,453 Aah!
- 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:18,246 [ Screeching ]
- 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,039 Shit!
- 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,291 [ Crackling ]
- 00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:25,127 Guuuuaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
- 00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:26,671 [ Screams ]
- 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,507 Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!
- 00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:31,508 Mom!
- 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,177 [ Growling ]
- 00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:35,095 Aah!
- 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,931 [ Groaning ]
- 00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:40,643 Agh! God, I hate Easter!
- 00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:45,689 Aaah!
- 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,524 Beth, are you okay?!
- 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,694 - Jerry. - I'm so sorry!
- 00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,738 [ Roars ]
- 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,657 - [ Sighs ] - [ People moaning ]
- 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:58,076 I have to fix this.
- 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,705 Aah! Aah!
- 00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:03,458 [ Screeching ]
- 00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,293 Oh, fuck! Fuck!
- 00:18:06,294 --> 00:18:08,629 It's in the Butt Guy!
- 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:11,257 [ Screeching ]
- 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,556 Whoa! It's that guy!
- 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:20,891 How did you get here?
- 00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:22,851 I took the big stone ship.
- 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:25,521 But I landed downtown, so then I took a bus.
- 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,064 Then I put the egg back in the splitter
- 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,732 after he dropped it in front of me
- 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,651 and patched the egg with a piece from that mosaic.
- 00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:33,278 Then I used that to get the bunny out of the butt guy
- 00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:34,988 into the egg, which you guys saw,
- 00:18:34,989 --> 00:18:38,283 and now we're in the present.
- 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,702 Everyone stopped having sex.
- 00:18:40,703 --> 00:18:42,287 It's-- It's beautiful.
- 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,872 You can keep the egg. We're done here.
- 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,374 What am I gonna do with this?
- 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,209 I dunno. Use it as art?
- 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,253 What do people do on your planet if they're not having sex?
- 00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:50,712 I'm so glad you asked.
- 00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:51,839 We weren't actually asking.
- 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,173 Get off our lawn.
- 00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:55,175 [ Grunting ]
- 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:58,053 [ Chuckles ] Alright, I can do it.
- 00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,972 [ Grunts ] Just give me a moment.
- 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,599 - [ Grunting ] Turn away. Turn away. - Who--
- 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,060 - Who was that? - Honestly, Mom, don't ask.
- 00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,020 The less we know about holidays the better.
- 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,773 Well said, son. Well said.
- 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,401 ♪ Deck the house with Easter baskets ♪
- 00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:15,529 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la, eggs ♪
- 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:18,365 ♪ Plastic grass and chocolate rabbits ♪
- 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:21,159 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, marshmallow bird ♪
- 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,204 ♪ Easter is the time for giving ♪
- 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,957 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la, Easter milk ♪
- 00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:30,002 ♪ Something, something, basket, candy ♪
- 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,421 ♪ Jerry makes an egg, and it is nice ♪
- 00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:35,716 ♪ Oh, presidents can have a birthday ♪
- 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:38,594 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la, celebrate ♪
- 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:41,638 ♪ Burger King and do it your way ♪
- 00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:44,433 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, Whopper, Big Mac ♪
- 00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:47,436 ♪ Some are loud and some are somber ♪
- 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,980 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la, different things ♪
- 00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:53,275 ♪ Corvettes and Hondas, Mr. Golf Cart ♪
- 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:55,986 ♪ Everything's a sale, go to the store ♪
- 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:57,738 ♪ Fa-la-la-la-la-la, spend ♪
- 00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:59,656 That should do it.
- 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:02,744 I-I'm happy we did all the other religious holidays off-screen.
- 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,414 Wait, did we just live through a whole calendar year?
- 00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,249 Is Summer still at spring break?!
- 00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:11,209 [ Dance music plays ]
- 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,753 You wanna do more poppers?
- 00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:14,421 No, I'm tired.
- 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,006 How long have we been here?
- 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,925 I think it's December.
- 00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:19,635 Spring break!
- 00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:22,054 Sunblock, trading sunblock for flip-flops!
- 00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,348 We've got shots. Tequila shots, Vodka shots.
- 00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:25,349 Tetanus shots!
- 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,934 [ Air horn blows ]
- 00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,936 Shit. Gotta go see Madison.
- 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:30,687 Do you have a tribute?
- 00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:33,357 Madison! I've brought you this epic gram of mushrooms.
- 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,317 "Epic"? What are you, 30?
- 00:20:35,318 --> 00:20:36,735 - Get the hell out of my tent. - No!
- 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,153 What did you bring her?
- 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,738 Weed gummies, and I found a PopSocket.
- 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,406 - Hey! - Madison! I brought you a PopSocket!
- 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:42,741 That's mine! Give it back!
- 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,242 Ugh, drama.
- 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,371 Exile them to the Best Western pool area.
- 00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:48,705 Hold up.
- 00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,457 What's the story on that bracelet?
- 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:53,377 [ Sighs ] After I realized spring break only ends
- 00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:55,045 if your parents pick you up,
- 00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:57,255 I holed up with another forgotten girl I met.
- 00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,634 Me and Brittany lived on jello shots until her teeth fell out.
- 00:21:00,635 --> 00:21:03,428 She didn't have a second stomach just for alcohol.
- 00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:04,805 She didn't make it.
- 00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:07,349 I wear her teeth to remember.
- 00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:09,101 They're yours if you want 'em.
- 00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:11,687 Tight. This girl is my new bestie.
- 00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:14,523 - Hell yeah. - Let's do poppers!
- 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,775 Hell... yeah.
- 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:46,764 {\an8}♪
- 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,269 [ Doorbell rings ]
- 00:21:52,270 --> 00:21:55,939 Debra. My love. I voyaged across the stars.
- 00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:59,359 And I've realized one thing above all others.
- 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:02,154 I want to make love to my wife.
- 00:22:02,155 --> 00:22:04,281 What? Sex is gross.
- 00:22:04,282 --> 00:22:05,657 Are you sure?
- 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,284 It doesn't weird me out anymore.
- 00:22:07,285 --> 00:22:09,036 I sort of got to see it up close.
- 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:12,039 You've been gone for 20 years. You came back in half.
- 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,498 What am I gonna fuck,
- 00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:15,042 that bone that's sticking out of your body?
- 00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:17,169 Also, what is that? I didn't ask for a big egg.
- 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:20,839 It's got an immortal bunny spirit in it.
- 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,966 - Does that turn you on? - No. Absolutely not.
- 00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:25,553 Drag yourself somewhere else.
- 00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:30,641 I have lived my life poorly.
- 00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:33,728 Did you get any of that?