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Крио Морт Риквер
Рик пытается ограбить инопланетный корабль, находящийся в состоянии криосна, с хранилищем, полным сокровищ, но Морти останавливает его, из-за чего все пассажиры пробуждаются от криосна. Полный решимости ограбить хранилище, Рик и Морти маскируются под двух инопланетян, умерших в криосне. Рик выдаёт себя за Джимми, ребёнка, чьи богатые родители из «Тейки» считают, что он быстро повзрослел и находится под их опекой, а Морти выдаёт себя за уборщика по имени Чачако и вынужден жить с рабочим классом «Мейки». Морти вдохновляет Мейки вырвать свои чипы подчинения и устроить восстание против Такей. Во время нападения Морти взламывает хранилище, но обнаруживает, что оно пусто. Все узнают, что настоящие Джимми и Чачако живы и сами ограбили хранилище. Все на корабле отправляются за Джимми и Чачако, чтобы забрать деньги себе. После хаотичной погони с многочисленными жертвами Рик и Морти догоняют Джимми и выбрасывают сокровища и чачако через шлюз. Затем Рик имплантирует всем выжившим инопланетянам чипы, регулирующие их поведение, после чего погружает их в криосон.
- 00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:07,740 Вы узнаете о трагичной судьбе команды по лакроссу из школы Оак-Пойнт.
- 00:00:07,780 --> 00:00:12,750 Однако в этом подкасте не будет подробностей о жестоком обезглавливании.
- 00:00:12,790 --> 00:00:15,190 - Жаль, в другом будут. - Это большой рынок.
- 00:00:15,210 --> 00:00:18,070 Морти, заткнись и найди подкаст без цензуры.
- 00:00:18,090 --> 00:00:21,280 - Обнаружен криокорабль. - О, и он всё ещё в сети?
- 00:00:21,380 --> 00:00:25,160 Что скажешь, Морти? Кучка спящих красавиц, хочешь поглядеть?
- 00:00:25,180 --> 00:00:28,160 Думаю, будет весело. Мы давно таких не встречали.
- 00:00:28,190 --> 00:00:31,590 Вы слушаете «Кровавую баню». Здесь только жуткие подробности.
- 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:33,170 Вот это я понимаю.
- 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:42,260 Охренеть, ты только посмотри на это.
- 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:45,097 Блин, Морти, это не простой корабль-ковчег,
- 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,640 тут всё золотом отделано.
- 00:00:46,723 --> 00:00:48,350 Ого, и куда же они летели?
- 00:00:49,370 --> 00:00:52,690 Похоже, они уничтожили свою планету и рванули в космос.
- 00:00:52,710 --> 00:00:54,520 Это как забрать конфету у ребёнка.
- 00:00:54,580 --> 00:00:55,860 Если ребёнок в коме.
- 00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:58,150 Мы что, их ограбим?
- 00:00:58,190 --> 00:01:00,690 Морти, что я тебе говорил про цензуру?
- 00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:02,110 Ух ты ж надо же.
- 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:04,780 Ты видишь, Морти? Нефиговый сейф.
- 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,615 Компьютер сказал, там внутри редчайший гиперуголь.
- 00:01:08,065 --> 00:01:10,170 От их планеты точно ничего не осталось.
- 00:01:10,190 --> 00:01:11,490 В доступе отказано.
- 00:01:14,050 --> 00:01:16,930 Ладно, просто взорвём тут всё и заберём сейф.
- 00:01:16,990 --> 00:01:18,382 - Что? - Помоги с бомбой.
- 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,750 Там быстрый отсчёт.
- 00:01:19,770 --> 00:01:24,220 Рик, я не против забрать конфету у ребёнка, но не собираюсь взрывать коляску.
- 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:27,220 Да не трынди, Морти. Мы ведь не буквально грабим детей.
- 00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:31,650 Ну и что ты наделал? Отсчёт пошёл ещё быстрее.
- 00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:34,326 Обнаружен пожар.
- 00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:36,850 Экстренная разморозка через 30 секунд.
- 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,470 Вот говнюк! Ты их разбудил!
- 00:01:38,510 --> 00:01:39,770 Хорошо. Валим отсюда.
- 00:01:39,790 --> 00:01:41,930 Иди на хрен! Я не уйду без гиперугля.
- 00:01:43,260 --> 00:01:45,400 Беги ко второй капсуле с трупом.
- 00:01:45,430 --> 00:01:46,910 - Эй! - Восемнадцатая палуба.
- 00:01:46,950 --> 00:01:47,690 Что за труп?
- 00:01:47,730 --> 00:01:50,950 Ищи капсулу со скелетом внутри. Иначе вылетишь в шлюз.
- 00:01:50,990 --> 00:01:52,330 Ты сам это устроил, Морти.
- 00:01:52,430 --> 00:01:54,400 Всё, что будет дальше, — это твоя вина.
- 00:01:54,420 --> 00:01:57,840 Ещё будешь мечтать оказаться на месте той команды по лакроссу.
- 00:01:57,930 --> 00:01:59,421 - Всё, я пошёл. - Не смей убегать!
- 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,750 Я ещё не доорал на тебя, Морти! Морти!
- 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:33,747 РИК И МОРТИ
- 00:02:33,810 --> 00:02:34,930 Разморозка через...
- 00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:36,160 - Чёрт! Чёрт! - Три.
- 00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:37,390 Две.
- 00:02:45,230 --> 00:02:48,340 Охренеть, вот это в криокамере шея затекает.
- 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,090 Но главное, чтобы штуцер работал.
- 00:02:50,330 --> 00:02:51,890 НЕ ПЛАКАТЬ В ЗАМОРОЗКЕ
- 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,640 Что такое штуцер?
- 00:02:53,660 --> 00:02:56,310 - Джимми? - Боже мой! Джимми, это ты?
- 00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:57,430 Ну... нет.
- 00:02:57,460 --> 00:03:00,190 Это наш сынок. У него наша семейная лысина.
- 00:03:00,210 --> 00:03:03,190 - Доктор, скорее! - О, Карен. Чем я могу...
- 00:03:03,210 --> 00:03:04,430 Боже мой!
- 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,780 Видимо, в работе капсулы случился какой-то сбой.
- 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,530 Сынок? Ты ведь ещё здесь?
- 00:03:09,550 --> 00:03:10,910 Скажи, что ты помнишь?
- 00:03:11,410 --> 00:03:14,310 Последнее, что я помню: мне было тринадцать.
- 00:03:14,350 --> 00:03:15,430 - Одиннадцать. - Ну да.
- 00:03:15,450 --> 00:03:17,600 Видимо, это гипофизный контроллер.
- 00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:20,500 Пока мы спали, Джимми рос ускоренными темпами.
- 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,088 - С ним всё будет хорошо? - Короткий ответ — нет.
- 00:03:23,110 --> 00:03:25,250 Длинный ответ — не-а.
- 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:25,890 Доктор!
- 00:03:25,950 --> 00:03:28,050 Меня учили медицине, а не манерам.
- 00:03:28,070 --> 00:03:29,100 Посмотрите на него.
- 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,350 Серая кожа, вонь изо рта, глаза на выкате.
- 00:03:31,370 --> 00:03:32,760 Он проживёт около недели.
- 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,970 Наш бедный сынок!
- 00:03:34,990 --> 00:03:38,350 Мы используем оставшееся время и всё исправим.
- 00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:39,770 Принести ему одежду?
- 00:03:39,790 --> 00:03:41,520 У него теперь большой пенис.
- 00:03:45,110 --> 00:03:47,230 Вот бы ещё минут пять доспать.
- 00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:49,364 Всё, возможники, за работу.
- 00:03:49,990 --> 00:03:52,160 Так мы же вроде все супербогатые?
- 00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:56,240 Единственное, что тут внизу «супер», — это твоя шутка.
- 00:03:56,260 --> 00:03:58,750 Чачако, ты драишь туалеты.
- 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,260 Ну ладно, меня не должно здесь быть.
- 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:05,040 Мой дедушка — учёный. Я залез в капсулу только потому что...
- 00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,131 - Что? - Медотсек!
- 00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:08,133 Опять чип подчинения заглючило.
- 00:04:08,180 --> 00:04:11,090 Я не должен мыть пол! Я должен управлять кораблём!
- 00:04:15,070 --> 00:04:18,390 Я опять пошутил. Я определённо такой же, как вы все.
- 00:04:18,410 --> 00:04:20,140 И готов убирать!
- 00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:23,144 Джимми.
- 00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:25,770 - Вот ты где. - А мы тебя искали.
- 00:04:25,790 --> 00:04:27,320 Ты пытаешься открыть сейф?
- 00:04:27,340 --> 00:04:29,978 Подумал, вдруг вы там застряли внутри.
- 00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:31,750 Я же ребёнок и типа тупой.
- 00:04:31,770 --> 00:04:32,949 Ничего, милый.
- 00:04:33,050 --> 00:04:35,410 С нашими деньгами можно быть тупым.
- 00:04:35,430 --> 00:04:40,990 Сынок, мы хотим, чтобы ты стал мужчиной перед глазами Господа прежде, чем умрёшь.
- 00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,410 А это случится уже скоро.
- 00:04:42,470 --> 00:04:46,830 Поэтому завтра мы устроим для тебя празднество Созвездио.
- 00:04:46,950 --> 00:04:48,849 Бог уже и так сделал меня мужчиной.
- 00:04:48,860 --> 00:04:50,160 При чём довольно быстро.
- 00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:52,660 Но он не сделал тебя гражданином.
- 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:53,710 А это — сделает.
- 00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:58,190 Когда ты присоединишься к нашему обществу, ты получишь доступ к нашим знаниям, истории...
- 00:04:58,210 --> 00:04:59,757 - И к гиперуглю? - Конечно.
- 00:05:00,870 --> 00:05:03,780 У тебя будет ключ от сейфа, как у каждого гражданина.
- 00:05:03,790 --> 00:05:05,940 Видишь ли, сынок, мы очень богаты.
- 00:05:06,070 --> 00:05:10,890 Ух ты, ну ладно. Давайте засоздвездоим эту дыру. Я согласен.
- 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:13,100 - Вот правильный настрой. - Идём, сынок.
- 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,640 Найдём тебе огромный леденец и нарядим, как маленького матроса.
- 00:05:16,660 --> 00:05:21,426 Да сколько же там дерьма? Они всего пять часов как проснулись.
- 00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:25,060 Обед, Чачако. Скорее, у нас всего восемь минут.
- 00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:26,250 Круто.
- 00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:29,290 Блин. Криосон, да?
- 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,460 Я успел забыть, что еда тут дерьмо.
- 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:35,150 Да, вот бы я тоже мог об этом забыть. На вкус, как моча с комочками.
- 00:05:35,860 --> 00:05:36,870 Обожаю такое.
- 00:05:37,010 --> 00:05:39,150 Люблю мочу. Смотрите, как уплетаю.
- 00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:43,230 В этой жиже есть энергия и комочки — всё, что нужно возможнику.
- 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:46,106 А почему мы так себя называем?
- 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,650 Ого, тебя реально в криосне переклинило.
- 00:05:48,710 --> 00:05:52,820 Это они нас так назвали. Потому что благодаря нам всё это возможно.
- 00:05:53,070 --> 00:05:56,820 Если мы возможники, то они в таком случае забиральщики.
- 00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,850 Чип не ударил тебя током?
- 00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:03,050 Ой, точно. Я просто научился терпеть боль.
- 00:06:03,810 --> 00:06:06,810 - Вот это круто. - Чачако у нас хардкорщик.
- 00:06:09,110 --> 00:06:11,090 Рик? Ну и где ты пропадал?
- 00:06:11,110 --> 00:06:13,840 Морти, отличные новости. Всё идёт по плану.
- 00:06:13,860 --> 00:06:15,944 - У нас не было плана! - Теперь есть.
- 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:21,465 Этот народ — они как золотистые ретриверы. У них нет врагов, а богатство сделало их мягкими.
- 00:06:21,530 --> 00:06:25,390 Завтра мне устроят какую-то церемонию «стань мужиком» и дадут гиперуголь.
- 00:06:25,450 --> 00:06:28,990 Плевать! Вытащи меня отсюда. Я тут буквально дерьмо руками гребу.
- 00:06:29,030 --> 00:06:30,860 Супер. Выбрал свою роль, вот и играй.
- 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,820 - Отдай мне ключи! - Нет, мы остаёмся.
- 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,270 Ни за что, жадный урод!
- 00:06:34,330 --> 00:06:37,790 Блин, Чачако решил взгреть старого малого.
- 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,210 Отдай, грязный забиральщик!
- 00:06:40,290 --> 00:06:43,390 - Эй! Оставь нашего сына! - Ваш сын — отстойник!
- 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,370 Чачако, ты с ума сошёл?
- 00:06:45,470 --> 00:06:48,500 А ну вернись! Мы пожалуемся твоему менеджеру!
- 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,420 Нет, нет. Всё хорошо. Просто бедняки завидуют.
- 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:54,510 - Неблагодарные чудовища! - И нетерпеливые!
- 00:06:55,690 --> 00:06:58,770 Охренеть. Ты с ума сошёл? Теперь нам всем достанется.
- 00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:01,970 - Что на тебя нашло, Чачако? - Да он просто урод!
- 00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:04,970 Так, серьёзно. Почему тебя током не бьёт?
- 00:07:04,990 --> 00:07:07,390 - Ай. Эй! - С чипом что-то не так.
- 00:07:07,580 --> 00:07:09,900 - Его вообще нет! - Нет чипа?
- 00:07:10,070 --> 00:07:11,150 Я его вытащил.
- 00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,020 Они говорили, что это нас убьёт.
- 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,570 - Чачако доказал, что нет. - Стой, стой! Нет!
- 00:07:18,110 --> 00:07:20,570 Чачако убил Тибс.
- 00:07:20,590 --> 00:07:21,870 Надо об этом доложить?
- 00:07:21,890 --> 00:07:23,415 Слушайте, я не тот, кем вы...
- 00:07:26,060 --> 00:07:28,410 Чачако. Ты придурок.
- 00:07:29,210 --> 00:07:31,580 А ещё ты настоящий герой!
- 00:07:32,290 --> 00:07:34,465 - Спасибо. - Соберите возможников.
- 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,590 Пора показать забиральщикам, кто тут главный.
- 00:07:37,610 --> 00:07:43,510 Когда ты допьёшь последний кубок, тебя озарит лучом священного света.
- 00:07:43,610 --> 00:07:46,770 Ты стал таким большим. Мы очень тобой гордимся.
- 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,430 Джимми, я не хотел отдавать это тебе.
- 00:07:49,460 --> 00:07:52,440 Это самая ценная вещь, что есть у нашей семьи,
- 00:07:52,580 --> 00:07:54,210 а ты был тем ещё засранцем.
- 00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:59,320 Но сбой в работе криокамеры показал нам, что на самом деле важно.
- 00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:02,080 Этот костюм для Созвездио твой отец получил от своего отца.
- 00:08:02,500 --> 00:08:04,100 А тот — от своего отца.
- 00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:08,930 Ой, это необязательно. Я ведь всё ещё засранец.
- 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,767 Я так рад, что мы успеем это сделать.
- 00:08:12,870 --> 00:08:15,600 - Мы любим тебя, сынок. - Мы тебя любим.
- 00:08:16,460 --> 00:08:19,190 Да. Я вас тоже типа люблю.
- 00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:22,040 Ты никогда этого не говорил. Милый, он нас любит!
- 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,740 Я рад, что ты сказал это, пока не умер от старости.
- 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:30,060 - Мой мальчик! - Ох, Джимми!
- 00:08:34,310 --> 00:08:36,080 Новая планета, новое начало.
- 00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:38,020 Новая планета, новое начало.
- 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,960 - У нас и слоган есть? - Цепляет, да? Тебя Тибс ищет.
- 00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:43,880 И отличное прикрытие — делать вид, будто всё по-старому.
- 00:08:46,570 --> 00:08:49,050 - Генерал Чачако! - Генерал?
- 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:50,720 Новая планета, новое начало!
- 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:55,720 Ты показал нам, что единственный способ уделать богачей, — это реально их уделать.
- 00:08:55,750 --> 00:09:00,620 Зацени вот это. Называется «Ба-бах». Чтобы бить людей по голове. Моё изобретение.
- 00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:05,360 Да, может, пока повесим «Ба-бах» на гвоздь и мирно попросим о пере-переменах?
- 00:09:05,380 --> 00:09:08,110 Хотя что это я? Они вам чипы в бошки вставили.
- 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,520 Фух, я уж думала, ты заговорил как Спуглер.
- 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,320 Ха-ха! Да. Кстати, а где он?
- 00:09:12,390 --> 00:09:13,350 Боже мой!
- 00:09:14,030 --> 00:09:17,290 Спуглер там ждёт, пока обе стороны выскажутся.
- 00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:19,430 А мы пока что выпилим забиральщиков.
- 00:09:19,450 --> 00:09:23,730 Вот блин. Даже не знаю. Завтра же праздник у того старого малого.
- 00:09:23,790 --> 00:09:26,731 Гениально, генерал! Нападём во время праздника.
- 00:09:26,790 --> 00:09:28,060 Я не это предлагал.
- 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:31,150 Забиральщики пожалеют о том, что с тобой связались.
- 00:09:31,850 --> 00:09:33,650 И с руками штука теперь есть?
- 00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:35,200 За сопротивление!
- 00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:38,160 А это не перебор для тайного рукопожатия?
- 00:09:39,510 --> 00:09:41,290 Созвездио!
- 00:09:42,180 --> 00:09:43,950 Экипаж гордится тобой, Джимми.
- 00:09:43,980 --> 00:09:47,795 Ты решил использовать оставшийся тебе небольшой срок с умом.
- 00:09:47,890 --> 00:09:50,297 Это лучшие родители, которых мне не пережить.
- 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,060 - Иди сюда, дурашка. - Эй, причёска.
- 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,717 Я же только гелем намазался.
- 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:04,020 Вот блин.
- 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,870 Отец, надо отложить церемонию. Тут случится кое-что плохое.
- 00:10:07,910 --> 00:10:09,274 Очень на это надеюсь.
- 00:10:09,410 --> 00:10:11,790 И отличная идея напихать гвоздей в «Ба-бах».
- 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:14,790 Народ Плосифа,
- 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:18,070 сегодня Джеймс Джеймерсон станет мужчиной!
- 00:10:18,170 --> 00:10:20,230 Ещё как! Я стану мужиком!
- 00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:24,500 - Рик, надо сваливать. - Не порти народу праздник.
- 00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:28,690 Эй, тусовщики! Вмажем по кубочку!
- 00:10:28,810 --> 00:10:31,370 - Мы так рады, сынок! - Мы гордимся тобой!
- 00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:35,880 Ладно, отец. Давайте свет. Дальше я сам.
- 00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:38,410 Может, дать тебе вот этим по твоей наглой шее?
- 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,550 - Осторожно! - Это не по сценарию, падре.
- 00:10:40,570 --> 00:10:42,390 Празднику конец, забиральщики!
- 00:10:42,790 --> 00:10:45,290 - Почему не слушается? - Чип не работает.
- 00:10:45,330 --> 00:10:47,230 Новая планета, новое начало!
- 00:10:51,830 --> 00:10:52,930 Бах, бах!
- 00:10:52,990 --> 00:10:58,240 Нет! Не трогайте их. Они же беспомощные. Они даже не знают, что еда откуда-то берётся.
- 00:10:59,930 --> 00:11:02,460 Бежим в безопасное место. Например, в сейф.
- 00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:04,930 - Дай сюда. - Как скажешь, босс.
- 00:11:07,230 --> 00:11:08,150 Извини.
- 00:11:08,370 --> 00:11:11,520 - Морти, новый план. - Ведите меня к сейфу! Быстро!
- 00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:14,040 - Не трогай нашего мальчика. - Слушайтесь его.
- 00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:17,620 Но если этот сумасшедший уборщик похитит меня и заберёт всё из сейфа,
- 00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:20,050 знайте, что вы были хорошими родителями.
- 00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:22,020 И на удивление доверчивыми.
- 00:11:22,030 --> 00:11:25,120 - Слишком доверчивыми. - Милый, о чём ты говоришь?
- 00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:27,140 Открывай сейф, или тебе конец!
- 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:32,535 Приветствую, Даг Джеймерсон.
- 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,080 Спасибо, что вы богаты.
- 00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:41,300 Господи, Морти!
- 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,760 Единственный грех Дага и Карен — богатство из-за неравной системы.
- 00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:46,840 Хватай барахло, переросток.
- 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:48,860 Любопытно.
- 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,560 Стоп, что? Ты типа издеваешься?
- 00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:53,518 Они нас ограбили!
- 00:11:53,620 --> 00:11:57,560 Богатый малой и уборщик забыли о своих различиях, чтобы нас нагнуть!
- 00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:59,190 Последуем их примеру.
- 00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:02,140 - Народный суд! - Да! Да!
- 00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:06,810 - Минуточку! - Мы всё объясним!
- 00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:07,700 Где наши деньги?
- 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:08,960 Где наши деньги?
- 00:12:08,980 --> 00:12:10,550 Мы же сказали. Мы не знаем.
- 00:12:10,590 --> 00:12:14,005 Ты заставил рабочий класс восстать против правящего класса.
- 00:12:14,047 --> 00:12:17,630 Ты и правда забавный, Чачако, но не в хорошем смысле.
- 00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:21,920 А в плохом, типа как «мой пёс так сел, потому что телевизор смотрит,
- 00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:24,190 или анальные железы проветривает?»
- 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,390 Ого, загнула.
- 00:12:25,470 --> 00:12:28,670 По законам космоса я приговариваю вас к смерти.
- 00:12:28,690 --> 00:12:33,090 Стойте, Джимми не мог этого сделать. Я открыл сейф, и тут уже было пусто.
- 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,020 Прости, Даг.
- 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:38,990 Но мы проверили записи, и последним в сейф заходил именно Джимми Джеймерсон.
- 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:42,590 Это невозможно. Джимми Джеймерсон мёртв.
- 00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:47,230 Я не понимаю.
- 00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:49,200 Карен, я попробую сказать помягче.
- 00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:50,120 Мы пришельцы.
- 00:12:50,220 --> 00:12:52,330 Идём глянем на кости твоего сына.
- 00:12:53,490 --> 00:12:54,630 Кости?
- 00:12:55,230 --> 00:12:57,120 Твою мать. Они обезьяньи.
- 00:12:57,190 --> 00:13:00,670 - Джимми был обезьяной? - Лиззи! Я думал, ты сбежала.
- 00:13:00,690 --> 00:13:02,290 - Что вообще тут происходит? - Я зоолог.
- 00:13:02,310 --> 00:13:03,380 Да не с тобой!
- 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:06,750 Джимми?
- 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,770 И, судя по всему, Гаффи Чачако.
- 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,510 Вы приняли меня за него?
- 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,910 Они влезли в сейф через полчаса после того, как вы уснули.
- 00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:16,380 Значит, Джимми всё ещё жив?
- 00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:18,390 Да на хрен его! Деньги наши где?
- 00:13:18,410 --> 00:13:20,680 Они купили яхту. На Блэкджеке-9.
- 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,040 Даже не скрываются.
- 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:25,360 Да и с чего бы? Они думали, вы ещё двести лет спать будете.
- 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:26,940 Мелкий говнюк.
- 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,861 Когда ты проснулся, мы думали, Джимми стал заботливым, добрым мужчиной.
- 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,690 - Мы были так рады. - Вы про него?
- 00:13:32,710 --> 00:13:35,865 Они были добрыми — я был добрым в ответ. Тоже попробуй, Морти!
- 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,265 Простите, что опять заладила про деньги,
- 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,440 но наши бабки на планете-казино, а мы просто тут стоим?
- 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,600 Стойте! Стойте!
- 00:13:43,730 --> 00:13:49,290 Эти деньги только отдалили вас от друзей, соседей, даже лишили вас родного дома.
- 00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:52,180 Но теперь вы можете войти в новый мир, как равные.
- 00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:53,540 Вы сможете жить, как...
- 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:55,050 Капец, они уже улетели.
- 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,260 Чтоб тебя, это же была только подводка.
- 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,180 Космо-гонка, Морти! Погнали!
- 00:14:00,190 --> 00:14:03,270 Я выплачу долги за учёбу в меде!
- 00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:04,720 Время смерти — сейчас!
- 00:14:05,710 --> 00:14:06,355 Эй!
- 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,595 Они поубивают друг друга за эти деньги. Почему мы не на твоей машине?
- 00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:18,180 Это подарок от богатого дяди.
- 00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:19,640 Я не мог не взять.
- 00:14:19,700 --> 00:14:21,960 Ха-ха! Я никогда не верил в бога!
- 00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:24,642 Нет, я верю в бога! Я верю в бога!
- 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:33,825 Чачако, когда мы познакомились, ты выгребал ещё тёплый кал из труб.
- 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,610 Поэтому я спас тебя.
- 00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:38,825 А теперь подуй на кости своей удачей рабочего класса, амиго.
- 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,870 Давай, Джимми!
- 00:14:41,890 --> 00:14:44,990 Все деньги достаются пацану и его лучшему другу.
- 00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,580 - Есть! - Эй, включите звук.
- 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,520 В космосе разгорелась крупная гонка.
- 00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:51,470 Судя по всему, из-за крупной суммы украденных денег.
- 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,830 Глизоп всё расскажет в прямом эфире. Глизоп?
- 00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:56,510 Тим, я нахожусь на месте и сейчас разбогатею!
- 00:14:56,530 --> 00:14:57,710 Я увольняюсь!
- 00:14:57,970 --> 00:14:59,220 Покеда!
- 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,680 Зря он это сделал. Микрофоны дорогие.
- 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:05,360 В любом случае, вот фотография подозреваемых.
- 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,710 - Вот чёрт! - Боже мой, бежим!
- 00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:11,035 Блинский!
- 00:15:11,570 --> 00:15:13,260 Это мои тупые предки!
- 00:15:13,940 --> 00:15:16,670 Погнали, Чачако. Грузи гиперуголь!
- 00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:24,300 Эй! Мне за них расплачиваться!
- 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:25,404 ПОГОНЯ ЗА ГИПЕРУГЛЁМ
- 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,220 И скоро я расплачусь.
- 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,780 <i>Чудо-монетки, из меди монетки.</i>
- 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,700 <i>Я всё куплю на эти монетки.</i>
- 00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:35,706 <i>С головой президента монетки, трогаю их, когда остаюсь один.</i>
- 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:37,920 Сукин ты сын! Ты ужасный доктор!
- 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,630 - Скажи это моим бабкам! - И скажу!
- 00:15:40,650 --> 00:15:42,460 <i>Оближу монетки, поцелую монетки.</i>
- 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,440 <i>Отдам своей подружке монетки.</i>
- 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,967 <i>Если у тебя есть монетки, то иди скорей сюда.</i>
- 00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:48,719 Эти деньги не воскресят Лиззи.
- 00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:51,680 Но я смогу купить новую обезьяну и тоже назову её Лиззи.
- 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,970 <i>Во рту у меня монетки, монетки.</i>
- 00:15:53,990 --> 00:15:56,300 <i>Повтори ещё раз скорей.</i>
- 00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:59,690 Спасибо, новая Лиззи.
- 00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:01,650 <i>Гремят монетки, влажные монетки.</i>
- 00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:03,770 <i>Бросаю, как конфетти, монетки.</i>
- 00:16:03,790 --> 00:16:07,460 <i>Мне нужно всего монеток на сотню долларов.</i>
- 00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:11,320 Я управляю кораблём! Наконец-то управляю кораблём!
- 00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:15,200 Рик!
- 00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,540 Ладно. Думаешь, он срезать решил?
- 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,020 Нет, просто с ума сошёл.
- 00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:28,590 Мою любимая часть работы — обострять ситуацию!
- 00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:35,680 Эй! Гонка ещё не началась!
- 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:39,310 Жаль, что пришлось их оставить. Я думал, мы случайно выиграем.
- 00:16:39,860 --> 00:16:41,460 Скопление курятников!
- 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,880 Повсюду куры! Тут одни насесты!
- 00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:48,610 На кой хрен ты опустил Окна?
- 00:16:48,630 --> 00:16:50,300 Для полноты ощущений!
- 00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:52,030 <i>Монетки, блестящие монетки.</i>
- 00:16:52,050 --> 00:16:54,200 <i>Заберу себе все монетки.</i>
- 00:16:54,220 --> 00:16:55,760 <i>Переплавьте меня на монетки...</i>
- 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,810 У вас есть право оставаться нищими!
- 00:16:57,970 --> 00:16:59,660 У тебя есть право заткнуться!
- 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,880 - Рик, их слишком много. - А мы их дымовухой.
- 00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:04,522 <i>Я готов на всё ради карманов, полных монет.</i>
- 00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:05,780 Чёрт, они совсем рядом!
- 00:17:05,790 --> 00:17:07,710 <i>Готов грызть землю ради монет.</i>
- 00:17:09,130 --> 00:17:11,730 Почему на этом старикашке мой костюм?
- 00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,700 Ты не заслуживаешь Карен и Дага!
- 00:17:13,740 --> 00:17:14,960 Говна пожуй!
- 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,000 У рабочих всегда сильные руки.
- 00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:23,604 Блин, меня точно накажут.
- 00:17:23,690 --> 00:17:25,380 Мы к этому готовились, Джимми.
- 00:17:25,860 --> 00:17:27,600 Прижмись к моему затылку.
- 00:17:29,490 --> 00:17:30,970 Мелкий говнюк!
- 00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,770 Меня нельзя бить, я ребёнок!
- 00:17:33,430 --> 00:17:35,190 Тебя нельзя бить, ты старый.
- 00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:40,150 Назад!
- 00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:41,722 ЭКСТРЕННЫЙ СБРОС ГРУЗА
- 00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:43,290 Держись за что-нибудь, Рик.
- 00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:44,750 Ты не станешь.
- 00:17:49,790 --> 00:17:52,310 - Сейчас дотянусь. - Не надо, Гаффи!
- 00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:53,650 Украдём ещё!
- 00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:55,490 Нет!
- 00:18:00,490 --> 00:18:02,410 Да сука! Мы были так близко!
- 00:18:02,470 --> 00:18:05,400 Они так и будут убивать друг друга за этот хлам.
- 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:06,625 Всё кончено, Рик.
- 00:18:07,550 --> 00:18:10,330 Чачако, забавный ты засранец.
- 00:18:10,430 --> 00:18:13,040 Всё наше богатство пропало.
- 00:18:14,110 --> 00:18:16,410 Ой, да похер. Я ведь уже здесь.
- 00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:21,470 - Что этот безумец делает? - Крадёт наши деньги.
- 00:18:37,630 --> 00:18:39,070 Я сделал ещё хуже.
- 00:18:39,810 --> 00:18:41,860 - Джимми! - Ну ты и вляпался!
- 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,030 Как ты мог ограбить родителей?!
- 00:18:46,050 --> 00:18:47,810 Простите меня!
- 00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:51,830 Я думал, будет смешно, если вы проснётесь и решите, что я стал обезьяной.
- 00:18:51,850 --> 00:18:54,290 - Через двести лет? - Ты засранец.
- 00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:56,670 - Тот ещё засранец. - А ты не лезь, лжесын!
- 00:18:57,690 --> 00:19:00,130 Джимми, ты облажался.
- 00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:02,800 Мы всегда решали проблемы деньгами.
- 00:19:02,820 --> 00:19:06,600 Но раз теперь у нас есть только эти слитки, придётся решать самим.
- 00:19:06,830 --> 00:19:10,690 Пап, я задолжал кучу денег очень плохим людям.
- 00:19:13,170 --> 00:19:16,060 Я задал курс на ближайшую пригодную для жизни планету.
- 00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,510 И всем поставил подчиняющие чипы.
- 00:19:18,570 --> 00:19:20,740 Теперь вы сможете начать с начала.
- 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,200 Всё будет хорошо, если эти нищие идиоты не...
- 00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:26,470 Не так весело, забиральщица?
- 00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:29,330 И если достанете эти чипы, точно умрёте.
- 00:19:29,470 --> 00:19:30,410 Спасибо...
- 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:31,990 Рик? Да?
- 00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:36,670 Да, простите, что притворялся вашим мёртвым сыном и пытался вас обокрасть.
- 00:19:36,690 --> 00:19:38,370 Это было довольно некрасиво.
- 00:19:38,450 --> 00:19:39,550 Очень некрасиво.
- 00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:43,630 Рик, за два дня ты стал нам лучшим сыном, чем Джимми за всё это время.
- 00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:46,010 - Я вас слышу! - Заткнись, Джимми!
- 00:19:46,030 --> 00:19:47,720 Да! Закрой хлеборезку!
- 00:19:47,740 --> 00:19:51,670 Мы все деньги отдали за твои долги! Ты отстой, Джимми!
- 00:19:51,910 --> 00:19:54,350 - Мы тебя в приют сдадим! - Лучше бы ты не родился!
- 00:19:54,530 --> 00:19:55,670 Неудачник!
- 00:19:56,430 --> 00:20:01,330 Ну, сокровищ больше нет. И с обеих сторон были колоссальные потери.
- 00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,670 Но мы всё равно молодцы.
- 00:20:03,850 --> 00:20:04,573 Да?
- 00:20:06,470 --> 00:20:08,490 Рик? Всё хорошо?
- 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:09,790 Правду говорят.
- 00:20:09,950 --> 00:20:12,730 Можно выбрать друзей, но родных не выбирают.
- 00:20:12,850 --> 00:20:15,810 Но я тебе родной. И меня ты тоже выбрал.
- 00:20:15,850 --> 00:20:17,290 Да, дебильная цитата.
- 00:20:17,310 --> 00:20:19,177 Обнаружен криокорабль.
- 00:20:19,190 --> 00:20:20,750 Класс: медицинский.
- 00:20:21,630 --> 00:20:25,070 У таких на борту обычно очень крутая наркота.
- 00:20:25,230 --> 00:20:29,390 Ладно. Но только на пять минут. Чтобы в этот раз ты не заграбастал всю наркоту.
- 00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:30,470 Продано!
- 00:21:05,410 --> 00:21:07,010 Ставка — пять миллионов.
- 00:21:07,030 --> 00:21:09,180 Новая Лиззи, подумай ещё раз.
- 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,050 Это все наши деньги. Мы хотели начать новую жизнь.
- 00:21:13,890 --> 00:21:16,450 О господи, тупая ты обезьяна.
- 00:21:16,830 --> 00:21:18,680 У человека-ящерицы сет.
- 00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:21,610 И фулл-хаус у обезьяны!
- 00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:24,530 Новая Лиззи! Вот же случай! Я знал, что ты сможешь!
- 00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:26,150 Боже, я люблю тебя!
- 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,990 В такие моменты я вспоминаю, почему пошла сюда работать.
- 00:21:31,170 --> 00:21:34,170 Переведено студией HDrezka Studio.
- 00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:05,672 Podcast host: <i>You're about to learn the tragic fate</i>
- 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,382 <i>of the Oak Point High lacrosse team.</i>
- 00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:09,801 <i>But this podcast won't cash in on their specific</i>
- 00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:12,303 <i>and particularly gruesome group decapitation</i> .
- 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,180 Too bad. Someone else will.
- 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,265 It's a big market, man.
- 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:16,599 Morty, don't just respond.
- 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,143 Find a podcast without scruples.
- 00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:19,811 <i>CryoShip detected.</i>
- 00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:21,604 Ooh, power's still online?
- 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,773 Whattaya think, Morty? Bunch of sleeping beauties?
- 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,233 Wanna go tap on some glass?
- 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,568 Uh, that could be fun.
- 00:00:26,569 --> 00:00:28,069 W-We haven't done one of those in a while.
- 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:29,946 Podcast host #2: <i>Welcome to "Bloodbath"!</i>
- 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,531 <i>The podcast that's</i> only <i>grisly details!</i>
- 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,867 Now we're talking!
- 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,333 Holy shit. Look at this place.
- 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,919 Damn, Morty, ain't just your run-of-the-mill ark ship.
- 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,588 This thing is gold-plated.
- 00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:48,465 Wow, w-where do you think they're going?
- 00:00:48,466 --> 00:00:51,384 Ha ha. Looks like these guys flung themselves into space
- 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,761 after wrecking their home world.
- 00:00:52,762 --> 00:00:54,637 This'll be like taking candy from a baby,
- 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:55,972 if that baby was in a coma.
- 00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,974 Oh. We're-- We're robbing them?
- 00:00:57,975 --> 00:01:00,810 Morty what did I just say about scruples?
- 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:03,271 {\an8}Whoa, mama. You see this, Morty?
- 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:04,856 {\an8}T-T-This thing is fancy.
- 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:07,358 Computer said it's got super-rare hypercoal inside.
- 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:10,153 Ha ha ha! The planet they left must be a husk, Morty.
- 00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:11,780 <i>Access denied.</i>
- 00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:12,989 Huh.
- 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,991 Alright, on second thought,
- 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,618 let's just blow a hole in the ship and drag the vault home.
- 00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,119 - What?! - Help me with these charges.
- 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,829 This'll be quick. They got fast countdowns.
- 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,790 Rick, I-I'm fine with taking candy from a baby,
- 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:24,292 but I-I draw the line at blowing up the stroller!
- 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:25,877 What the hell, Morty?!
- 00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,337 We're not literally robbing babies.
- 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:28,713 Aah!
- 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,006 God damn it, Morty! Look what you did!
- 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:32,091 They're counting down even faster.
- 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:35,011 <i>Fire detected.</i>
- 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,930 <i>Emergency Cryo-wake commencing in 30 seconds.</i>
- 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,681 You little shit! You woke 'em up!
- 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,225 - Good! Let's get outta here! - Fuck you.
- 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:43,311 I'm not leaving without that hypercoal!
- 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,480 Now go find that other pod with a dead guy in it.
- 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:46,564 - Hey! - Sub-Bay 18.
- 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:47,941 What dead guy?!
- 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,567 Just get in the pod with the bones!
- 00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,486 Or don't, and get thrown out an airlock.
- 00:01:51,487 --> 00:01:53,154 - <i>Cryo-wake in 10 seconds.</i> - You did this to yourself, Morty.
- 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:55,365 Everything that happens after this is your fault.
- 00:01:55,366 --> 00:01:57,116 You're gonna wish you were one of those Oak Point kids
- 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,535 - after I get through with you. - I'm going, I'm going!
- 00:01:58,536 --> 00:01:59,869 Don't you run away from me!
- 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,037 I've got more to yell at you, Morty!
- 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,163 Morty!
- 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:36,239 {\an8}- <i>Cryo-wake in three, two...</i> - Shit, shit, shit.
- 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,659 {\an8}Whoa! Uh! Uh! Aah! Oh! Ah!
- 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,082 {\an8}Oh, boy.
- 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,418 {\an8}Talk about cryo-crick in the neck.
- 00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:50,461 {\an8}Hope my schwanz still works.
- 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:53,715 {\an8}What's a schwanz?
- 00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:55,174 {\an8}- Jimmy?! - Oh, my God!
- 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,426 Jimmy? Is that you?!
- 00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:57,510 Umm, no?
- 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:58,720 It's our boy, honey--
- 00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:00,263 He's got the family bald spot.
- 00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:01,848 Doctor! Doctor, please!
- 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,266 Ah, Karen. How can I--
- 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,809 Oh, my God!
- 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,728 The pod. There must have been some kind of...
- 00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:07,854 malfunction.
- 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,606 {\an8}Son? Are you in there?
- 00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:10,982 {\an8}What do you remember?
- 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:14,110 {\an8}Um, last thing I remember was being...13.
- 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,778 {\an8}- Doug and Karen: 11. - 11.
- 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,572 {\an8}It must be the pituitary governor on his pod.
- 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,073 {\an8}While we were in stasis,
- 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,617 {\an8}Jimmy kept growing at an accelerated rate.
- 00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:21,951 {\an8}Will he be okay?
- 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:24,495 {\an8}Short answer-- no. Long answer-- nope.
- 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,122 {\an8}Doctor!
- 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:28,124 {\an8}I went to school for <i>medicine,</i> not <i>manners.</i>
- 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:31,544 {\an8}Look at him-- gray skin, necrotic breath, jaundiced eyes.
- 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,837 {\an8}I give him a week, tops.
- 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:35,048 {\an8}Our poor child!
- 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:38,468 {\an8}We're gonna use whatever time we have left to make things right.
- 00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:39,844 {\an8}Should I get him some clothes?
- 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:41,596 {\an8}His penis is big now.
- 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,310 {\an8}Ugh. Wish that pod had a snooze button.
- 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:49,312 {\an8}Alright, Makeys, let's get to work!
- 00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:52,231 {\an8}Um, aren't-- aren't we all, like, super rich?
- 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:56,319 {\an8}Only thing "rich" down here is that joke.
- 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,821 {\an8}"Chachaco"... you're on toilet duty.
- 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,783 {\an8}Ooohhkay, I'm not supposed to be here.
- 00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:03,493 {\an8}M-M-My grandpa's a scientist.
- 00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:05,453 {\an8}- I-I just jumped in this pod because-- - What?
- 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:08,039 {\an8}MedBay! Got another compliance chip on the fritz.
- 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,376 {\an8}Why do <i>I</i> have to mop?! I should be driving the ship!
- 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:16,047 {\an8}Ohhhh! Ha ha. J-Jokin' again!
- 00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:18,466 {\an8}I-I'm definitely the thing you guys are.
- 00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,218 {\an8}Uh, ready to clean!
- 00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,555 {\an8}Jimmy! There you are!
- 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:25,848 {\an8}We've been looking for you.
- 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,392 {\an8}Are you trying to open the vault?
- 00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,978 {\an8}I thought maybe you were stuck in there.
- 00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,688 {\an8}I'm just a kid and, uh, dumb.
- 00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,022 That's alright, sweetie.
- 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,483 Money affords us the ability to be dumb.
- 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:37,110 Son, it's important to us
- 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:40,029 that you're recognized as a man in the eyes of God...
- 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:42,699 before you die, which feels soon.
- 00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:44,033 So, tomorrow night,
- 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,995 we're holding your Constellatio Celebratio!
- 00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,871 Pretty sure God already made me a man.
- 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,456 Like, very rapidly.
- 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,834 But he didn't make you a <i>citizen.</i>
- 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,043 <i>This</i> will.
- 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,087 And once you join our society,
- 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,214 you'll get access to our knowledge,
- 00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:00,383 - our history... - Our hypercoal?
- 00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:01,801 Well, sure.
- 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,845 You'd get a key to the vault like every citizen.
- 00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:06,014 You see, son, we're very, very rich.
- 00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:07,974 Wow. Okay, yeah. Let's, uh--
- 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,893 Let's Constellatio this up. I-I'm in!
- 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:13,062 - Ahh, that's the spirit! - Come on, son.
- 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,814 Let's get you a big lollipop
- 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,607 and dress you like a little sailor.
- 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:19,235 Ugh! How much shit is there?
- 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,404 They've only been awake for five hours.
- 00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:23,322 Grub time, Chachaco!
- 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,199 Hurry. We only got eight minutes.
- 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,326 Great.
- 00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,412 Man, cryo-sleep, huh?
- 00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:31,539 Guess I forgot how bad the food was.
- 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:33,708 Yeah, wish I could forget.
- 00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:34,917 Tastes like lumpy piss.
- 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:35,918 Aah!
- 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,253 Which I love!
- 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,088 Love piss. Look at me eat it up.
- 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,716 This gruel, it's got energy, lumps,
- 00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,301 all the things a Makey needs.
- 00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:46,095 Um, why do we call ourselves that again?
- 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,598 Wow, cryo really took it outta you, huh?
- 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:50,141 They gave us that term.
- 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,894 'Cause we "make" it all possible.
- 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,645 I-If we're Makeys,
- 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,898 may-- may-- maybe that makes them "Takeys."
- 00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,191 Ha ha.
- 00:05:58,192 --> 00:05:59,776 Did you not just get complio-shocked?
- 00:05:59,777 --> 00:06:01,069 Oh... yeah.
- 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:03,571 Y-Y-You learn to take the pain. Heh.
- 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:04,739 - Whoa! - Bad-ass!
- 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,283 Chachaco's hard-core.
- 00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,160 Mm.
- 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:11,162 Rick?! W-Where the hell have you been?
- 00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:13,956 Morty! Great news. It's all going as planned.
- 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,958 - We didn't have a plan! - We do now.
- 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,419 These people, Morty, they're golden retrievers.
- 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:21,297 No natural predators, totally softened by generational wealth.
- 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,132 Tomorrow they're throwing me some kind
- 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,134 of "becoming a man" thing and just giving me the hypercoal.
- 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,178 Who cares?! Get me outta here!
- 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:29,222 I-I'm literally scooping shit by hand!
- 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:30,973 Good. You made your bed, lay in it.
- 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,892 - Gimme the car keys! - No! We're not leaving!
- 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,102 Yes, we <i>are,</i> you greedy shit!
- 00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:35,978 Damn! Chachaco's giving
- 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,605 that old rich kid a piece of his mind!
- 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:38,773 Aah! Oh!
- 00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:40,191 Give them to me, you Takey scum!
- 00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:41,901 Hey! Leave our son alone!
- 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,861 {\an8}- Your son sucks! - Ugh!
- 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:44,987 {\an8}Chachaco, are you crazy?!
- 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,739 Get back here!
- 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,574 We'll be speaking to your manager!
- 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,494 No, no. It's fine. Just jealous poor people.
- 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,037 Ungrateful monsters!
- 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,580 Impatient, too!
- 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,625 Holy shit. Are you crazy?
- 00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:58,960 We're all gonna get it now!
- 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,670 What the hell got into you, Chachaco?!
- 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,380 He's an asshole.
- 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:03,506 Okay, seriously.
- 00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:05,049 How are you not getting zapped?
- 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,635 - Ow! Hey! - Something's up with his chip.
- 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:08,845 He don't got one!
- 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:09,971 - Oh! - No chip?!
- 00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,472 Um, I-I took it out.
- 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:13,099 They said taking the chips out would kill us.
- 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,059 Chachaco is living proof it won't.
- 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,686 Wait! Wait! Stop!
- 00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:20,648 Chachaco killed Tibs!
- 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,941 Should we tell someone?
- 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,359 Listen, I'm not who you--
- 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,906 Chachaco, you're an idiot.
- 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,659 And a goddamn hero!
- 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:33,035 Um, thanks...
- 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,204 Tell the Makeys to gather.
- 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,665 It's time to show the Takeys who really runs this ship.
- 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,501 And after you finish sipping from the final chalice,
- 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:43,588 the sacred light will shine down upon you.
- 00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:46,841 You've grown so much. We are so proud of you.
- 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,510 Jimmy, I used to dread giving this you.
- 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:52,388 It's the most precious thing in our family
- 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,515 and frankly you were a brat.
- 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,893 But there's nothing like a fluke cryopod accident
- 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,395 to show you what really matters.
- 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:02,023 It's your father's Constellatio suit,
- 00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:05,276 from his father, and his father before him.
- 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:07,528 Oh, that's not necessary.
- 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,113 I'm-- I'm still a brat.
- 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:12,867 I'm just glad we're getting to do this.
- 00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,744 We love you, son.
- 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:16,037 We love you.
- 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:19,248 Ha ha. Yeah. L-L-Love you guys, too.
- 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:22,084 You've never said that before. Honey, he loves us!
- 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,712 I'm so glad you said it before you die of old age!
- 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:26,297 My boy!
- 00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:30,092 Oh, Jimmy!
- 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,265 Fresh planet, fresh start.
- 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,059 Fresh planet, fresh start.
- 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,852 - We have a slogan now? - Catchy, huh?
- 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,646 Tibs is looking for ya. Great cover, by the way--
- 00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:44,233 acting like nothin's happening.
- 00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:47,902 General Chachaco!
- 00:08:47,903 --> 00:08:49,278 General?
- 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,947 Fresh planet, fresh start!
- 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,950 You taught us the only way to beat those rich bastards
- 00:08:53,951 --> 00:08:55,952 is to actually <i>beat</i> them.
- 00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:58,120 Check out this. It's a Bang-Bang.
- 00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,623 To bang people's heads in. My invention.
- 00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:03,417 Yeeeeah. Maybe we put a pin in the Bang-Bang
- 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,795 and peacefully ask for some change-change?
- 00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:08,297 What am I saying? They put chips in your heads.
- 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,508 Phew. For a second, you sounded like Spoogler.
- 00:09:10,509 --> 00:09:12,301 Ha ha. Yeah, w-where is Spoogler?
- 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,011 Oh, my God!
- 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:17,348 Spoogler's out there waiting to hear both sides of the issue.
- 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,725 Meanwhile, we're gonna take out the Takeys.
- 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,519 Ah, geez, I-I-I don't know.
- 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,646 We-- We got that old kid's party tomorrow.
- 00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:26,399 That's brilliant, General! Attack during the party.
- 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,359 Not-- Not quite what I was pitching.
- 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,862 {\an8}Those Takeys are gonna regret the day they messed with you!
- 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,948 {\an8}We-- We got a hand thing now?
- 00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:35,491 {\an8}For the resistance.
- 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,494 {\an8}T-This feels too long for a secret handshake.
- 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:39,829 {\an8}Aah!
- 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,498 Constellatio!
- 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,250 The crew is so proud of you, Jimmy.
- 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,668 You've really taken
- 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,670 your grossly shortened life-span in stride.
- 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:50,381 I couldn't think of two better parents to die before.
- 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,674 Aww, get over here, ya goofball!
- 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:54,176 Hey, my hair! I just put gel in!
- 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,353 Ah, geez.
- 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,063 Father, we gotta delay the ceremony.
- 00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,940 Something bad is going to happen.
- 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,442 I sure hope so.
- 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:12,194 Great idea to stick pins in the Bang-Bangs.
- 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,197 People of Plociff,
- 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,867 tonight young James Jamerson ascends to manhood.
- 00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:21,370 Hell yeah! Gonna be a man!
- 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,788 Rick, we really gotta go now.
- 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,790 - Aah! - Don't ruin this for these people.
- 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:29,253 Party people! Let's hit those chalices!
- 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,546 We love it, son!
- 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:31,797 Proud of you!
- 00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:36,177 Alright, Father. Gimme the light. I'll take it from here.
- 00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:38,387 {\an8}How 'bout you take this in your Takey neck?!
- 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,847 - Watch out! - Whoa!
- 00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:40,890 Going off script, padre.
- 00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:42,683 Party's over, Takeys!
- 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,226 Why isn't she complying?
- 00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,728 It's not working!
- 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,563 Fresh planet, fresh start!
- 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,442 {\an8}Aah!
- 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:52,902 - Yah! - Bang-bang!
- 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:55,738 Wait! You can't attack them! They're helpless.
- 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,532 They don't even know that food comes from somewhere.
- 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:03,079 We gotta get to someplace safe. L-Like the vault.
- 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,081 - Gimme that! - You got it, boss!
- 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,250 My bad.
- 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,418 Morty. Change of plans.
- 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,670 Take me to the vault! Now!
- 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,340 - Please don't hurt our boy! - Just do what he says.
- 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,800 But if this deranged janitor kidnaps me
- 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:17,760 and steals everything from this vault,
- 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:20,346 j-just know you two were great parents.
- 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,432 Really unreasonably trusting. Maybe too trusting.
- 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,184 Honey, what are you talking about?
- 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,728 Open that safe, or you're worm food!
- 00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:32,608 <i>Greetings, Doug Jamerson.</i>
- 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,735 <i>Thank you for being rich.</i>
- 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:41,700 Jesus, Morty!
- 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,327 Doug and Karen's only crime is naively benefiting
- 00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,162 from systemic inequity.
- 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,289 Just grab the loot, you big baby!
- 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,417 Interesting.
- 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:51,961 Wait, what?! You-- You gotta be kidding me!
- 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,587 They robbed us!
- 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,464 The rich kid and the janitor
- 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,550 put aside their differences to fuck us over!
- 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,635 Let's follow their example.
- 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:00,970 Mob justice!
- 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,681 - Yeah! - Yeah!
- 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,308 - Hold on a second! - We can explain!
- 00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:07,601 - Where's our money?! - Where's <i>our</i> money?!
- 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,478 We told you-- We don't know.
- 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,856 You manipulated a working class to rise against a ruling class.
- 00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:14,525 I was right, Chachaco-- You <i>are</i> funny,
- 00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,318 but not in the "ha ha" way.
- 00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,320 In the bad way, like "is my dog sitting like that
- 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,281 because he's watching TV with us
- 00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,408 or is he 'expressing his anal glands'" funny.
- 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,326 Oof. Long walk.
- 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,079 Under the Laws of Space, I sentence you to death.
- 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,331 Wait! Jimmy couldn't have done this!
- 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:31,292 I opened the safe and it was empty.
- 00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:32,710 Sorry, Doug.
- 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,336 We checked the vault's log, and the last person
- 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:37,465 to access it was, in fact, Jimmy Jamerson.
- 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:41,760 That's not possible. Jimmy Jamerson is dead.
- 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,556 I don't understand.
- 00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:48,350 Karen, let me make this as gentle as I can-- We're aliens.
- 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:51,020 Come on, let's go see your dead son's bones.
- 00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,647 Bones?!
- 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:56,609 Oh, shit. Monkey bones. Was Jimmy a monkey?
- 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,861 Lizzy! No! I thought you escaped!
- 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,905 What the hell is going on?!
- 00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:02,031 I'm a zoologist.
- 00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:03,365 Not <i>you!</i>
- 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:06,744 Jimmy?
- 00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:08,829 {\an8}And apparently, Guffy Chachaco.
- 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,873 {\an8}They thought I was <i>that</i> guy?!
- 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:12,333 {\an8}These two hacked the vault 30 minutes
- 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:14,460 {\an8}after you all started hypersleep.
- 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,504 So Jimmy's still alive?
- 00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:18,464 Fuck him! Where the hell is our money?!
- 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,216 They bought a yacht. It's on Blackjack 9.
- 00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:21,759 They weren't very discreet.
- 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,135 Why would they be?
- 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,221 They thought you'd be asleep for the next 200 years.
- 00:13:25,222 --> 00:13:26,805 Little asshole.
- 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,016 When you woke up, we thought Jimmy'd grown
- 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,518 into a thoughtful, kind man.
- 00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:32,061 - We were so happy. - This guy?
- 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,854 They were nice, so I was nice back.
- 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,147 Try it sometime, Morty.
- 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,316 Sorry to be the "money" guy,
- 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,318 but our cash is on a casino planet
- 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,779 and we're all just standing here?!
- 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,781 Wait! Wait!
- 00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:46,534 All that money did is tear you apart-- from your friends,
- 00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:49,203 your neighbors, even your old home.
- 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,830 But now you can go to a whole new world as equals.
- 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,499 A place where you can live--
- 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,125 Son of a bitch. They're already gone.
- 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,337 Damn it. I was about to tie it all together.
- 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,256 Space race, Morty! Let's go!
- 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:03,259 Gonna pay off med school, baby!
- 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,761 - Aah! - Time of death is now!
- 00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:06,845 Hey!
- 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,229 T-They're gonna kill each other for that money, Rick!
- 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:16,605 Why didn't we take your car?!
- 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,274 Constellatio gift from a rich uncle.
- 00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,733 Be rude not to take it.
- 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:22,945 Ha ha! I never believed in God!
- 00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,947 I do believe in God! I do believe in God!
- 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,580 Chachaco, when I met you,
- 00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:34,164 you were scooping hot steamers out of a pipe.
- 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,125 So I saved you.
- 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:39,295 Now blow some working-class luck on these dice, amigo.
- 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,381 Wa-ho! Jimmy!
- 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,133 All the money goes to the 11-year-old
- 00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,801 and his best friend. - Yeah!
- 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,094 Hey, turn up the TV.
- 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,138 {\an8}<i>A massive space race is under way,</i>
- 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,765 {\an8}<i>apparently chasing down a large fortune of stolen money.</i>
- 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,018 {\an8}<i>Glizop is live with the story. Glizop?</i>
- 00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:57,021 {\an8}<i>Tim, I'm here at the scene, where I'm gonna be rich!</i>
- 00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:59,732 I quit! Aah! Snap!
- 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,942 {\an8}<i>Wish he didn't do that. Those mics are expensive.</i>
- 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:05,654 <i>In any case, here's a picture of the suspected thieves.</i>
- 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,490 - Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. - Shit! Oh, man! Oh, God!
- 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:13,996 Ah, farts! It's my dumb parents!
- 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:16,750 Punch it, Chachaco! Load up the hypercoal!
- 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:25,132 Hey! I gotta pay for those!
- 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,217 And soon I <i>can!</i>
- 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,679 ♪ Lovely pennies, copper pennies ♪
- 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,389 ♪ Little window-shopper pennies ♪
- 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:35,476 ♪ Lincoln-headed pennies, touch them when I'm all alone ♪
- 00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:36,602 Son of a bitch!
- 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:37,895 You're a terrible doctor!
- 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,021 Tell that to my money!
- 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,481 I will!
- 00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,316 ♪ Eat my pennies, kiss my pennies ♪
- 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,026 ♪ Give a lil' miss my pennies ♪
- 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:46,487 ♪ If you have a penny, then I'll have you for my own ♪
- 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,322 That money can't bring back Lizzy,
- 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:51,533 but it can buy another monkey that I will also name Lizzy.
- 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,869 ♪ My mouth is full of pennies, pennies ♪
- 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:57,206 ♪ Say it once again ♪
- 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:59,541 Thank you, New Lizzy.
- 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:01,543 ♪ Tinkly pennies, sweaty pennies ♪
- 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,629 ♪ Throw-'em-like-confetti pennies ♪
- 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,382 ♪ A hundredth of a dollar is as much as I require ♪
- 00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,218 I'm driving the ship!
- 00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,178 I'm finally driving the ship!
- 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:15,641 Uhhhhhh! Riiiiiick!
- 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,394 Okay. Think he found a shortcut?
- 00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:19,978 No, he's just nuts.
- 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:28,445 My favorite part of the job-- escalating situations.
- 00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:35,744 Hey! The race hasn't started yet!
- 00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,538 Kinda bummed to leave that race behind.
- 00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:39,164 Thought we'd end up winning it by accident.
- 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,625 Oh! Chicken coop cluster!
- 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,335 It's all coops! Wall-to-wall coops!
- 00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:48,465 Why would you roll the windows down?
- 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,925 I wanted the full experience.
- 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,927 ♪ Pennies, pennies, shiny pennies ♪
- 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,054 ♪ Have-them-all-for-mine-y pennies ♪
- 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,681 ♪ Melt me down for pennies in a crackling metal fire ♪
- 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,808 You have the right to remain poor!
- 00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,518 You have the right to shut up!
- 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,979 - Rick, there's too many of 'em! - Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
- 00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:04,648 ♪ Nothing I won't do to get a pocketful of cents ♪
- 00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:05,774 Oh, man! They're on our ass!
- 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:09,194 I'll eat dirt for pennies.
- 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:12,114 Why is this old dude wearing my Constellatio suit?!
- 00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,782 You don't deserve Karen and Doug!
- 00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:15,951 Eat a dick!
- 00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,997 Ow! Blue-collar guys always have an arm.
- 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,625 Oh, I'm gonna be so grounded!
- 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,919 We prepared for this, Jimmy.
- 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,088 Kiss the back of my head.
- 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,049 You little brat!
- 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,260 You can't hit me! I'm a kid!
- 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:35,262 I can't hit you. You're old.
- 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,643 Back!
- 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,645 I'd hold on to something, Rick.
- 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,105 You wouldn't.
- 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,321 {\an8}- I-I can reach it! - Leave it, Guffy!
- 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,406 {\an8}We'll steal more!
- 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:57,201 Nooo!
- 00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,331 God damn it! We were right there!
- 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,166 These people will never stop killing each other
- 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,375 for this dumb shit.
- 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,794 It's over, Rick.
- 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:10,297 Chachaco, you funny bastard.
- 00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:11,673 All our wealth--
- 00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:13,008 It's gone.
- 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:16,721 Ah, screw it. I've come this far.
- 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,556 What's that lunatic doing?!
- 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,433 Taking our money!
- 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,034 I made it way worse.
- 00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,829 - Jimmy! - You're in big trouble, mister!
- 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:44,039 How could you rob your own parents?!
- 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,960 I'm sorry!
- 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,878 I thought it'd be funny if you guys woke up
- 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,797 and thought I turned into a monkey.
- 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:54,258 - In 200 years?! - You're a piece of shit!
- 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:55,384 You <i>are</i> a piece of shit.
- 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:56,927 Stay out of this, fake son!
- 00:18:56,928 --> 00:19:00,097 Ohh, Jimmy, you're a fuck up.
- 00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:02,766 But we always threw cash at the problem.
- 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,560 Now that we just have these gold bars,
- 00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,562 we'll have to throw ourselves.
- 00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:10,942 Dad? I owe money to some baaad people.
- 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,821 I set the navigation to a nearby inhabitable planet.
- 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,407 Also gave <i>everyone</i> a compliance chip.
- 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:20,701 Y-You can finally get that fresh start.
- 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:23,161 We'll be fine as long as these poor idiots don't--
- 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:26,707 Not so fun, is it, you Takey? Aah!
- 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:29,418 And if you remove those chips, you will die.
- 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,795 Thanks... uh, Rick, right?
- 00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:34,756 Yeah. Sorry for pretending to be a deformed version
- 00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,633 of your dead son and try to rob you.
- 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:37,926 That's pretty messed up in hindsight.
- 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:39,511 It's messed up in <i>any</i> sight.
- 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,431 Rick, in only two days, you were a better son
- 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:43,599 than Jimmy ever was.
- 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,725 I can hear you!
- 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:45,976 Shut up, Jimmy! Aah!
- 00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:47,686 Yeah, shut your fucking mouth! Aah!
- 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,272 Using all our money to pay off your goddamn loan sharks!
- 00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:52,107 You suck, Jimmy!
- 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,442 - Ah, I wish you were never born! - We're putting you up for adoption!
- 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:55,861 You're a loser! Aah!
- 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,280 Welp. The treasure is gone.
- 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:01,575 And there were massive casualties on both sides.
- 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,952 Still, I think we did good.
- 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,413 Right?
- 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,457 Rick? Y-You okay?
- 00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:10,208 Guess it's true--
- 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,628 You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.
- 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:14,046 But I <i>am</i> family.
- 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,631 And you <i>did</i> choose me.
- 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,299 Yeah, it's a stupid quote.
- 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:21,345 <i>Cryo-ship detected. Class-- medical.</i>
- 00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:24,973 They typically have some pretty good drugs in those.
- 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,975 Okay. But five minutes, tops.
- 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:29,144 And y-you can't hog all the drugs this time.
- 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,437 Sold!
- 00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:07,015 5 million to call.
- 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:09,184 New Lizzy, think about this.
- 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,853 That's all our money. We were gonna start a new life.
- 00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:16,775 Ah, Jesus, you dumb fucking monkey.
- 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,944 Three of a kind to the lizard man.
- 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:21,571 And a full house for the monkey!
- 00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:24,491 New Lizzy! Holy fuck, I always knew you could do it.
- 00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:26,118 God, I love you!
- 00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:30,957 It's days like these that remind me why I got into this.
- 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,419 Did you get any of that?
- 00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:05,672 Podcast host: <i>You're about to learn the tragic fate</i>
- 00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,382 <i>of the Oak Point High lacrosse team.</i>
- 00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:09,801 <i>But this podcast won't cash in on their specific</i>
- 00:00:09,802 --> 00:00:12,303 <i>and particularly gruesome group decapitation</i> .
- 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,180 - [ Switch clicks ] - Too bad. Someone else will.
- 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,265 It's a big market, man.
- 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:16,599 Morty, don't just respond.
- 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,143 Find a podcast without scruples.
- 00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:19,811 Woman: <i>CryoShip detected.</i>
- 00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:21,604 Ooh, power's still online? [ Burps ]
- 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,773 Whattaya think, Morty? Bunch of sleeping beauties?
- 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,233 Wanna go tap on some glass?
- 00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:26,568 Uh, that could be fun.
- 00:00:26,569 --> 00:00:28,069 W-We haven't done one of those in a while.
- 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:29,946 Podcast host #2: <i>Welcome to "Bloodbath"!</i>
- 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,531 <i>The podcast that's</i> only <i>grisly details!</i>
- 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,867 [ Burps ] Now we're talking!
- 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:39,706 {\an8}♪
- 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:42,333 Holy shit. Look at this place.
- 00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,919 Damn, Morty, ain't just your run-of-the-mill ark ship.
- 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,588 This thing is gold-plated.
- 00:00:46,589 --> 00:00:48,465 Wow, w-where do you think they're going?
- 00:00:48,466 --> 00:00:51,384 Ha ha. Looks like these guys flung themselves into space
- 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,761 after wrecking their home world.
- 00:00:52,762 --> 00:00:54,637 This'll be like taking candy from a baby,
- 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:55,972 if that baby was in a coma.
- 00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,974 Oh. We're-- We're robbing them?
- 00:00:57,975 --> 00:01:00,810 Morty [burps] what did I just say about scruples?
- 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:03,271 {\an8}Whoa, mama. You see this, Morty?
- 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:04,856 {\an8}T-T-This thing is fancy.
- 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:07,358 Computer said it's got super-rare hypercoal inside.
- 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:10,153 Ha ha ha! The planet they left must be a husk, Morty.
- 00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:11,780 Woman: <i>Access denied.</i>
- 00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:12,989 Huh.
- 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,991 Alright, on second thought,
- 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,618 let's just blow a hole in the ship and drag the vault home.
- 00:01:16,619 --> 00:01:18,119 - What?! - Help me with these charges.
- 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,829 This'll be quick. They got fast countdowns.
- 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:21,790 Rick, I-I'm fine with taking candy from a baby,
- 00:01:21,791 --> 00:01:24,292 but I-I draw the line at blowing up the stroller!
- 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:25,877 What the hell, Morty?!
- 00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,337 We're not literally robbing babies.
- 00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:28,713 Aah!
- 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:30,006 God damn it, Morty! Look what you did!
- 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:32,091 They're counting down even faster.
- 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,343 [ Explosion ]
- 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:35,011 <i>Fire detected.</i>
- 00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,930 <i>Emergency Cryo-wake commencing in 30 seconds.</i>
- 00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,681 You little shit! You woke 'em up!
- 00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,225 - Good! Let's get outta here! - Fuck you.
- 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:43,311 I'm not leaving without that hypercoal!
- 00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:45,480 Now go find that other pod with a dead guy in it.
- 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:46,564 - Hey! - Sub-Bay 18.
- 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:47,941 What dead guy?!
- 00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,567 Just get in the pod with the bones!
- 00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,486 Or don't, and get thrown out an airlock.
- 00:01:51,487 --> 00:01:53,154 - <i>Cryo-wake in 10 seconds.</i> - You did this to yourself, Morty.
- 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:55,365 Everything that happens after this is your fault.
- 00:01:55,366 --> 00:01:57,116 [ Muffled ] You're gonna wish you were one of those Oak Point kids
- 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,535 - after I get through with you. - I'm going, I'm going!
- 00:01:58,536 --> 00:01:59,869 Don't you run away from me!
- 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,037 I've got more to yell at you, Morty!
- 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,163 Morty!
- 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:33,903 {\an8}♪
- 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:36,239 {\an8}- <i>Cryo-wake in three, two...</i> - Shit, shit, shit.
- 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,659 {\an8}Whoa! Uh! Uh! Aah! Oh! Ah!
- 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,744 {\an8}[ System powering up ]
- 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,956 {\an8}♪
- 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:46,082 {\an8}Oh, boy.
- 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,418 {\an8}Talk about cryo-crick in the neck.
- 00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:50,461 {\an8}Hope my schwanz still works.
- 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,213 {\an8}[ Children laughing ]
- 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:53,715 {\an8}What's a schwanz?
- 00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:55,174 {\an8}- Jimmy?! - Oh, my God!
- 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,426 Jimmy? Is that you?!
- 00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:57,510 Umm, no?
- 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:58,720 It's our boy, honey--
- 00:02:58,721 --> 00:03:00,263 He's got the family bald spot.
- 00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:01,848 Doctor! Doctor, please!
- 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,266 Ah, Karen. How can I--
- 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,809 Oh, my God!
- 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,728 The pod. There must have been some kind of...
- 00:03:06,729 --> 00:03:07,854 malfunction.
- 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:09,606 {\an8}Son? Are you in there?
- 00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:10,982 {\an8}What do you remember?
- 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:14,110 {\an8}Um, last thing I remember was being...13.
- 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:15,778 {\an8}- Doug and Karen: 11. - 11.
- 00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:17,572 {\an8}It must be the pituitary governor on his pod.
- 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,073 {\an8}While we were in stasis,
- 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,617 {\an8}Jimmy kept growing at an accelerated rate.
- 00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:21,951 {\an8}Will he be okay?
- 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:24,495 {\an8}Short answer-- no. Long answer-- nope.
- 00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:26,122 {\an8}Doctor!
- 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:28,124 {\an8}I went to school for <i>medicine,</i> not <i>manners.</i>
- 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:31,544 {\an8}Look at him-- gray skin, necrotic breath, jaundiced eyes.
- 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,837 {\an8}I give him a week, tops.
- 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:35,048 {\an8}[ Crying ] Our poor child!
- 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:38,468 {\an8}We're gonna use whatever time we have left to make things right.
- 00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:39,844 {\an8}Should I get him some clothes?
- 00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:41,596 {\an8}[ Whispering ] His penis is big now.
- 00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:42,973 {\an8}[ Man coughing ]
- 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:47,310 {\an8}Ugh. Wish that pod had a snooze button.
- 00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:49,312 {\an8}Alright, Makeys, let's get to work!
- 00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:52,231 {\an8}Um, aren't-- aren't we all, like, super rich?
- 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,691 {\an8}[ Laughter ]
- 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:56,319 {\an8}Only thing "rich" down here is that joke.
- 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:58,821 {\an8}"Chachaco"... you're on toilet duty.
- 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,783 {\an8}Ooohhkay, I'm not supposed to be here.
- 00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:03,493 {\an8}M-M-My grandpa's a scientist.
- 00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:05,453 {\an8}- I-I just jumped in this pod because-- - What?
- 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:08,039 {\an8}MedBay! Got another compliance chip on the fritz.
- 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,376 {\an8}Why do <i>I</i> have to mop?! I should be driving the ship!
- 00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:13,711 {\an8}[ Screaming ]
- 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:16,047 {\an8}Ohhhh! Ha ha. J-Jokin' again!
- 00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:18,466 {\an8}I-I'm definitely the thing you guys are.
- 00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,218 {\an8}Uh, ready to clean!
- 00:04:20,219 --> 00:04:22,345 {\an8}[ Beeping ]
- 00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,555 {\an8}Doug: Jimmy! There you are!
- 00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:25,848 {\an8}We've been looking for you.
- 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,392 {\an8}Are you trying to open the vault?
- 00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:29,978 {\an8}I thought maybe you were stuck in there.
- 00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,688 {\an8}I'm just a kid and, uh, dumb.
- 00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,022 That's alright, sweetie.
- 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,483 Money affords us the ability to be dumb.
- 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:37,110 Son, it's important to us
- 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:40,029 that you're recognized as a man in the eyes of God...
- 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:42,699 before you die, which feels soon.
- 00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:44,033 So, tomorrow night,
- 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,995 we're holding your Constellatio Celebratio!
- 00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:48,871 Pretty sure God already made me a man.
- 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,456 Like, very rapidly.
- 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,834 But he didn't make you a <i>citizen.</i>
- 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,043 <i>This</i> will.
- 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,087 And once you join our society,
- 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,214 you'll get access to our knowledge,
- 00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:00,383 - our history... - Our hypercoal?
- 00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:01,801 Well, sure.
- 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,845 You'd get a key to the vault like every citizen.
- 00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:06,014 You see, son, we're very, very rich.
- 00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:07,974 Wow. Okay, yeah. Let's, uh--
- 00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,893 Let's Constellatio this up. I-I'm in!
- 00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:13,062 - Ahh, that's the spirit! - Come on, son.
- 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,814 Let's get you a big lollipop
- 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,607 and dress you like a little sailor.
- 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:19,235 Ugh! How much shit is there?
- 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,404 They've only been awake for five hours.
- 00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:23,322 - [ Whistle blows ] - Grub time, Chachaco!
- 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,199 Hurry. We only got eight minutes.
- 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:26,326 Great.
- 00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,412 Man, cryo-sleep, huh?
- 00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:31,539 Guess I forgot how bad the food was.
- 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:33,708 Yeah, wish I could forget.
- 00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:34,917 Tastes like lumpy piss.
- 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:35,918 - [ Electricity crackling ] - Aah!
- 00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,253 Which I love!
- 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:39,088 Love piss. Look at me eat it up.
- 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,716 This gruel, it's got energy, lumps,
- 00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,301 all the things a Makey needs.
- 00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:46,095 Um, why do we call ourselves that again?
- 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,598 Wow, cryo really took it outta you, huh?
- 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:50,141 They gave us that term.
- 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,894 'Cause we "make" it all possible.
- 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,645 - [ Laughter ] - I-If we're Makeys,
- 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,898 may-- may-- maybe that makes them "Takeys."
- 00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,191 Ha ha.
- 00:05:58,192 --> 00:05:59,776 Did you not just get complio-shocked?
- 00:05:59,777 --> 00:06:01,069 Oh... yeah.
- 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:03,571 Y-Y-You learn to take the pain. Heh.
- 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:04,739 - Whoa! - Bad-ass!
- 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,283 Chachaco's hard-core.
- 00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,160 Mm.
- 00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:11,162 Rick?! W-Where the hell have you been?
- 00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:13,956 Morty! Great news. It's all going as planned.
- 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,958 - We didn't have a plan! - We do now.
- 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,419 These people, Morty, they're golden retrievers.
- 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:21,297 No natural predators, totally softened by generational wealth.
- 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,132 Tomorrow they're throwing me some kind
- 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,134 of "becoming a man" thing and just giving me the hypercoal.
- 00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,178 Who cares?! Get me outta here!
- 00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:29,222 I-I'm literally scooping shit by hand!
- 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:30,973 Good. You made your bed, lay in it.
- 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,892 - Gimme the car keys! - No! We're not leaving!
- 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,102 Yes, we <i>are,</i> you greedy shit!
- 00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:35,978 Damn! Chachaco's giving
- 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,605 that old rich kid a piece of his mind!
- 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:38,773 Aah! Oh!
- 00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:40,191 Give them to me, you Takey scum!
- 00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:41,901 Hey! Leave our son alone!
- 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,861 {\an8}- Your son sucks! - Ugh!
- 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:44,987 {\an8}Chachaco, are you crazy?!
- 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,739 Get back here!
- 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,574 We'll be speaking to your manager!
- 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:51,494 No, no. It's fine. Just jealous poor people.
- 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,037 Ungrateful monsters!
- 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,580 Impatient, too!
- 00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:55,748 [ Panting ]
- 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,625 Holy shit. Are you crazy?
- 00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:58,960 We're all gonna get it now!
- 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,670 What the hell got into you, Chachaco?!
- 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,380 He's an asshole.
- 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:03,506 Okay, seriously.
- 00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:05,049 How are you not getting zapped?
- 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,635 - Ow! Hey! - Something's up with his chip.
- 00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:08,845 He don't got one!
- 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:09,971 - Oh! - No chip?!
- 00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,472 Um, I-I took it out.
- 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:13,099 They said taking the chips out would kill us.
- 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,059 Chachaco is living proof it won't.
- 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:16,686 Wait! Wait! Stop!
- 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:17,687 [ Thud ]
- 00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:20,648 Chachaco killed Tibs!
- 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,941 Should we tell someone?
- 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,359 Listen, I'm not who you--
- 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,652 [ Makeys gasp ]
- 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,112 [ Makeys cheering ]
- 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,906 Chachaco, you're an idiot.
- 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,659 And a goddamn hero!
- 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:33,035 Um, thanks...
- 00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:35,204 Tell the Makeys to gather.
- 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,665 It's time to show the Takeys who really runs this ship.
- 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,501 And after you finish sipping from the final chalice,
- 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:43,588 the sacred light will shine down upon you.
- 00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:46,841 You've grown so much. We are so proud of you.
- 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,510 Jimmy, I used to dread giving this you.
- 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:52,388 It's the most precious thing in our family
- 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,515 and frankly you were a brat.
- 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,893 But there's nothing like a fluke cryopod accident
- 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,395 to show you what really matters.
- 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:02,023 It's your father's Constellatio suit,
- 00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:05,276 from his father, and his father before him.
- 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:07,528 Oh, that's not necessary.
- 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,113 I'm-- I'm still a brat.
- 00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:12,867 [ Crying ] I'm just glad we're getting to do this.
- 00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,744 We love you, son.
- 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:16,037 We love you.
- 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:19,248 Ha ha. Yeah. L-L-Love you guys, too.
- 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:22,084 You've never said that before. Honey, he loves us!
- 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,712 I'm so glad you said it before you die of old age!
- 00:08:24,713 --> 00:08:26,297 [ Crying ] My boy!
- 00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:30,092 [ Crying ] Oh, Jimmy!
- 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,511 [ Sighs ]
- 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,265 Fresh planet, fresh start.
- 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,059 Fresh planet, fresh start.
- 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,852 - We have a slogan now? - Catchy, huh?
- 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,646 Tibs is looking for ya. Great cover, by the way--
- 00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:44,233 acting like nothin's happening.
- 00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:47,902 General Chachaco!
- 00:08:47,903 --> 00:08:49,278 General?
- 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,947 Together: Fresh planet, fresh start!
- 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,950 You taught us the only way to beat those rich bastards
- 00:08:53,951 --> 00:08:55,952 is to actually <i>beat</i> them.
- 00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:58,120 Check out this. It's a Bang-Bang.
- 00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,623 To bang people's heads in. My invention.
- 00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:03,417 Yeeeeah. Maybe we put a pin in the Bang-Bang
- 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,795 and peacefully ask for some change-change?
- 00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:08,297 What am I saying? They put chips in your heads.
- 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,508 Phew. For a second, you sounded like Spoogler.
- 00:09:10,509 --> 00:09:12,301 Ha ha. Yeah, w-where is Spoogler?
- 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,011 - [ Chuckles ] - Oh, my God!
- 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:17,348 Spoogler's out there waiting to hear both sides of the issue.
- 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,725 Meanwhile, we're gonna take out the Takeys.
- 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,519 Ah, geez, I-I-I don't know.
- 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,646 We-- We got that old kid's party tomorrow.
- 00:09:23,647 --> 00:09:26,399 That's brilliant, General! Attack during the party.
- 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,359 Not-- Not quite what I was pitching.
- 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,862 {\an8}Those Takeys are gonna regret the day they messed with you!
- 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,948 {\an8}We-- We got a hand thing now?
- 00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:35,491 {\an8}For the resistance.
- 00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:38,494 {\an8}T-This feels too long for a secret handshake.
- 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:39,829 {\an8}- [ Thud ] - Aah!
- 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,498 - Together: Constellatio! - [ Camera shutter clicks ]
- 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,250 The crew is so proud of you, Jimmy.
- 00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:45,668 You've really taken
- 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,670 your grossly shortened life-span in stride.
- 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:50,381 I couldn't think of two better parents to die before.
- 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,674 Aww, get over here, ya goofball!
- 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:54,176 Hey, my hair! I just put gel in!
- 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,137 [ Indistinct conversations ]
- 00:09:56,138 --> 00:10:02,893 {\an8}♪
- 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,353 Ah, geez.
- 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,063 Father, we gotta delay the ceremony.
- 00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,940 Something bad is going to happen.
- 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,442 I sure hope so.
- 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:12,194 Great idea to stick pins in the Bang-Bangs.
- 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:13,696 [ Feedback whining ]
- 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,197 People of Plociff,
- 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,867 tonight young James Jamerson ascends to manhood.
- 00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:21,370 - Hell yeah! Gonna be a man! - [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,788 Rick, we really gotta go now.
- 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,790 - Aah! - Don't ruin this for these people.
- 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:29,253 Party people! Let's hit those chalices!
- 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:30,546 We love it, son!
- 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:31,797 Proud of you!
- 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,507 [ Gulping ]
- 00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:36,177 Alright, Father. Gimme the light. I'll take it from here.
- 00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:38,387 {\an8}How 'bout you take this in your Takey neck?!
- 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,847 - Watch out! - Whoa!
- 00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:40,890 Going off script, padre.
- 00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:42,683 Party's over, Takeys!
- 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,226 Why isn't she complying?
- 00:10:44,227 --> 00:10:45,728 It's not working!
- 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,563 Fresh planet, fresh start!
- 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,066 [ Screaming ]
- 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,442 {\an8}Aah!
- 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:52,902 - Yah! - Bang-bang!
- 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:55,738 Wait! You can't attack them! They're helpless.
- 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,532 They don't even know that food comes from somewhere.
- 00:10:58,533 --> 00:10:59,992 {\an8}♪
- 00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:03,079 We gotta get to someplace safe. L-Like the vault.
- 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,081 - Gimme that! - You got it, boss!
- 00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:07,041 [ Screaming ]
- 00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:08,250 My bad.
- 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,418 Morty. Change of plans.
- 00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,670 Take me to the vault! Now!
- 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:14,340 - Please don't hurt our boy! - Just do what he says.
- 00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,800 But if this deranged janitor kidnaps me
- 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:17,760 and steals everything from this vault,
- 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:20,346 j-just know you two were great parents.
- 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,432 Really unreasonably trusting. Maybe too trusting.
- 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,184 Honey, what are you talking about?
- 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,728 Open that safe, or you're worm food!
- 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,231 {\an8}♪
- 00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:32,608 <i>Greetings, Doug Jamerson.</i>
- 00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:34,735 <i>Thank you for being rich.</i>
- 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:38,280 {\an8}<i>♪</i>
- 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,157 [ Grunting ]
- 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:41,700 Jesus, Morty!
- 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,327 Doug and Karen's only crime is naively benefiting
- 00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:45,162 from systemic inequity.
- 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,289 Just grab the loot, you big baby!
- 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,417 Interesting.
- 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:51,961 Wait, what?! You-- You gotta be kidding me!
- 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,587 They robbed us!
- 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,464 The rich kid and the janitor
- 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,550 put aside their differences to fuck us over!
- 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,635 Let's follow their example.
- 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:00,970 Mob justice!
- 00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,681 - Yeah! - Yeah!
- 00:12:04,808 --> 00:12:06,308 - Hold on a second! - We can explain!
- 00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:07,601 - Where's our money?! - Where's <i>our</i> money?!
- 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,478 We told you-- We don't know.
- 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,856 You manipulated a working class to rise against a ruling class.
- 00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:14,525 I was right, Chachaco-- You <i>are</i> funny,
- 00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,318 but not in the "ha ha" way.
- 00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,320 In the bad way, like "is my dog sitting like that
- 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,281 because he's watching TV with us
- 00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,408 or is he 'expressing his anal glands'" funny.
- 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,326 Oof. Long walk.
- 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:27,079 Under the Laws of Space, I sentence you to death.
- 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,331 Wait! Jimmy couldn't have done this!
- 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:31,292 I opened the safe and it was empty.
- 00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:32,710 Sorry, Doug.
- 00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,336 We checked the vault's log, and the last person
- 00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:37,465 to access it was, in fact, Jimmy Jamerson.
- 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:41,760 That's not possible. Jimmy Jamerson is dead.
- 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,762 [ Crowd gasps ]
- 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,556 I don't understand.
- 00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:48,350 Karen, let me make this as gentle as I can-- We're aliens.
- 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:51,020 Come on, let's go see your dead son's bones.
- 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:52,146 [ Crowd gasps ]
- 00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,647 Bones?!
- 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:56,609 Oh, shit. Monkey bones. Was Jimmy a monkey?
- 00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,861 Lizzy! No! I thought you escaped!
- 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,905 What the hell is going on?!
- 00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:02,031 I'm a zoologist.
- 00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:03,365 Not <i>you!</i>
- 00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,784 [ Beeping ]
- 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:06,744 Karen: Jimmy?
- 00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:08,829 {\an8}And apparently, Guffy Chachaco.
- 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,873 {\an8}They thought I was <i>that</i> guy?!
- 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:12,333 {\an8}These two hacked the vault 30 minutes
- 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:14,460 {\an8}after you all started hypersleep.
- 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,504 So Jimmy's still alive?
- 00:13:16,505 --> 00:13:18,464 Fuck him! Where the hell is our money?!
- 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,216 They bought a yacht. It's on Blackjack 9.
- 00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:21,759 They weren't very discreet.
- 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,135 Why would they be?
- 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,221 They thought you'd be asleep for the next 200 years.
- 00:13:25,222 --> 00:13:26,805 Little asshole.
- 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,016 When you woke up, we thought Jimmy'd grown
- 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,518 into a thoughtful, kind man.
- 00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:32,061 - We were so happy. - This guy?
- 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:33,854 Rick: They were nice, so I was nice back.
- 00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,147 Try it sometime, Morty.
- 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,316 Sorry to be the "money" guy,
- 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,318 but our cash is on a casino planet
- 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,779 and we're all just standing here?!
- 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,781 - [ Indistinct shouting ] - Wait! Wait!
- 00:13:43,782 --> 00:13:46,534 All that money did is tear you apart-- from your friends,
- 00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:49,203 your neighbors, even your old home.
- 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,830 But now you can go to a whole new world as equals.
- 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,499 - A place where you can live-- - [ Horns honk ]
- 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,125 Son of a bitch. They're already gone.
- 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,337 Damn it. I was about to tie it all together.
- 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,256 Space race, Morty! Let's go!
- 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:03,259 Gonna pay off med school, baby!
- 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,761 - Aah! - Time of death is now!
- 00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:06,845 Hey!
- 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:12,726 {\an8}♪
- 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,229 T-They're gonna kill each other for that money, Rick!
- 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:16,605 Why didn't we take your car?!
- 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,274 Constellatio gift from a rich uncle.
- 00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,733 Be rude not to take it.
- 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:22,945 [ Mockingly ] Ha ha! I never believed in God!
- 00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,947 I do believe in God! I do believe in God!
- 00:14:24,948 --> 00:14:28,075 {\an8}♪
- 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:30,536 [ Up-tempo music plays ]
- 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,580 Chachaco, when I met you,
- 00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:34,164 you were scooping hot steamers out of a pipe.
- 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,125 So I saved you.
- 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:39,295 Now blow some working-class luck on these dice, amigo.
- 00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:40,379 [ Blows ]
- 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,381 Wa-ho! Jimmy!
- 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,133 All the money goes to the 11-year-old
- 00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,801 and his best friend. - Yeah!
- 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,094 Hey, turn up the TV.
- 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,138 {\an8}<i>A massive space race is under way,</i>
- 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,765 {\an8}<i>apparently chasing down a large fortune of stolen money.</i>
- 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:54,018 {\an8}<i>Glizop is live with the story. Glizop?</i>
- 00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:57,021 {\an8}<i>Tim, I'm here at the scene, where I'm gonna be rich!</i>
- 00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:59,732 I quit! Aah! Snap!
- 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,942 {\an8}<i>Wish he didn't do that. Those mics are expensive.</i>
- 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:05,654 <i>In any case, here's a picture of the suspected thieves.</i>
- 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:08,490 - Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. - Shit! Oh, man! Oh, God!
- 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,659 [ Both panting ]
- 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:13,996 Ah, farts! It's my dumb parents!
- 00:15:13,997 --> 00:15:16,750 Punch it, Chachaco! Load up the hypercoal!
- 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:25,132 Hey! I gotta pay for those!
- 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,217 And soon I <i>can!</i>
- 00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:28,677 [ Engine starts, bell clangs ]
- 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,679 ♪ Lovely pennies, copper pennies ♪
- 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,389 ♪ Little window-shopper pennies ♪
- 00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:35,476 ♪ Lincoln-headed pennies, touch them when I'm all alone ♪
- 00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:36,602 Son of a bitch!
- 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:37,895 You're a terrible doctor!
- 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:39,021 Tell that to my money!
- 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,481 I will!
- 00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,316 ♪ Eat my pennies, kiss my pennies ♪
- 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,026 ♪ Give a lil' miss my pennies ♪
- 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:46,487 ♪ If you have a penny, then I'll have you for my own ♪
- 00:15:46,488 --> 00:15:48,322 That money can't bring back Lizzy,
- 00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:51,533 but it can buy another monkey that I will also name Lizzy.
- 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,869 ♪ My mouth is full of pennies, pennies ♪
- 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:57,206 - ♪ Say it once again ♪ - [ Screams ]
- 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:59,541 Thank you, New Lizzy.
- 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:01,543 ♪ Tinkly pennies, sweaty pennies ♪
- 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,629 ♪ Throw-'em-like-confetti pennies ♪
- 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:06,382 - ♪ A hundredth of a dollar is as much as I require ♪ - [ Horn blows ]
- 00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,218 [ Laughs ] I'm driving the ship!
- 00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,178 I'm finally driving the ship!
- 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:15,641 Uhhhhhh! Riiiiiick!
- 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,394 Okay. Think he found a shortcut?
- 00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:19,978 No, he's just nuts.
- 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,648 {\an8}♪
- 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,733 [ Radar gun beeps ]
- 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:28,445 My favorite part of the job-- escalating situations.
- 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:33,367 {\an8}♪
- 00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:35,744 Hey! The race hasn't started yet!
- 00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,538 Kinda bummed to leave that race behind.
- 00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:39,164 Thought we'd end up winning it by accident.
- 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,625 Oh! Chicken coop cluster!
- 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,335 It's all coops! Wall-to-wall coops!
- 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,254 [ Screaming ]
- 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:46,547 [ Coughing ]
- 00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:48,465 Why would you roll the windows down?
- 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,925 I wanted the full experience.
- 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,927 ♪ Pennies, pennies, shiny pennies ♪
- 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,054 ♪ Have-them-all-for-mine-y pennies ♪
- 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,681 ♪ Melt me down for pennies in a crackling metal fire ♪
- 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,808 You have the right to remain poor!
- 00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,518 You have the right to shut up!
- 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,979 - Rick, there's too many of 'em! - Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
- 00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:04,648 ♪ Nothing I won't do to get a pocketful of cents ♪
- 00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:05,774 Oh, man! They're on our ass!
- 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:09,194 Man: I'll eat dirt for pennies.
- 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:12,114 Why is this old dude wearing my Constellatio suit?!
- 00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,782 You don't deserve Karen and Doug!
- 00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:15,951 Guffy: Eat a dick! [ Grunts ]
- 00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:18,997 Ow! Blue-collar guys always have an arm.
- 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:23,625 - [ Pounding on door ] - Oh, I'm gonna be so grounded!
- 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,919 We prepared for this, Jimmy.
- 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,088 Kiss the back of my head.
- 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,548 [ Explosion ]
- 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,049 You little brat!
- 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,260 You can't hit me! I'm a kid!
- 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:35,262 I can't hit you. You're old.
- 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:38,974 {\an8}♪
- 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,643 - [ Gun cocks ] - Back!
- 00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:43,645 I'd hold on to something, Rick.
- 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,105 You wouldn't.
- 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,482 {\an8}♪
- 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:48,525 [ Screaming ]
- 00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:49,735 {\an8}♪
- 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,321 {\an8}- I-I can reach it! - Leave it, Guffy!
- 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,406 {\an8}We'll steal more!
- 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:57,201 - [ Screams ] - Nooo!
- 00:17:57,202 --> 00:18:00,287 {\an8}♪
- 00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,331 God damn it! We were right there!
- 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,166 These people will never stop killing each other
- 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,375 for this dumb shit.
- 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,794 It's over, Rick.
- 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:10,297 Chachaco, you funny bastard.
- 00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:11,673 All our wealth--
- 00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:13,008 It's gone.
- 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:16,721 Ah, screw it. I've come this far.
- 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,556 What's that lunatic doing?!
- 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:21,433 Taking our money!
- 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,519 [ Indistinct shouting ]
- 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:24,686 {\an8}♪
- 00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:27,648 [ Screaming ]
- 00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:30,526 {\an8}♪
- 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:31,652 [ Screaming ]
- 00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:34,196 [ Electricity crackling ]
- 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:37,574 {\an8}♪
- 00:18:37,575 --> 00:18:39,034 I made it way worse.
- 00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,829 - Jimmy! - You're in big trouble, mister!
- 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:44,039 How could you rob your own parents?!
- 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:46,041 [ Crying ]
- 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,960 I'm sorry!
- 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,878 I thought it'd be funny if you guys woke up
- 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,797 and thought I turned into a monkey.
- 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:54,258 - In 200 years?! - You're a piece of shit!
- 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:55,384 You <i>are</i> a piece of shit.
- 00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:56,927 Stay out of this, fake son!
- 00:18:56,928 --> 00:19:00,097 Ohh, Jimmy, you're a fuck up.
- 00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:02,766 But we always threw cash at the problem.
- 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,560 Now that we just have these gold bars,
- 00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,562 we'll have to throw ourselves.
- 00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:10,942 Dad? I owe money to some baaad people.
- 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,821 I set the navigation to a nearby inhabitable planet.
- 00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:18,407 Also gave <i>everyone</i> a compliance chip.
- 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:20,701 Y-You can finally get that fresh start.
- 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:23,161 We'll be fine as long as these poor idiots don't--
- 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,246 [ Screaming ]
- 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:26,707 Not so fun, is it, you Takey? Aah!
- 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:29,418 And if you remove those chips, you will die.
- 00:19:29,419 --> 00:19:31,795 Thanks... uh, Rick, right?
- 00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:34,756 Yeah. Sorry for pretending to be a deformed version
- 00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,633 of your dead son and try to rob you.
- 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:37,926 That's pretty messed up in hindsight.
- 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:39,511 It's messed up in <i>any</i> sight.
- 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,431 Rick, in only two days, you were a better son
- 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:43,599 than Jimmy ever was.
- 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,725 [ Muffled ] I can hear you!
- 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:45,976 Shut up, Jimmy! Aah!
- 00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:47,686 Yeah, shut your fucking mouth! Aah!
- 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:50,272 Using all our money to pay off your goddamn loan sharks!
- 00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:52,107 You suck, Jimmy!
- 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,442 - Ah, I wish you were never born! - We're putting you up for adoption!
- 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:54,610 [ Doug and Karen scream ]
- 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:55,861 You're a loser! Aah!
- 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,280 Welp. The treasure is gone.
- 00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:01,575 And there were massive casualties on both sides.
- 00:20:01,576 --> 00:20:03,952 Still, I think we did good.
- 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:06,413 Right?
- 00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,457 Rick? Y-You okay?
- 00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:10,208 Guess it's true--
- 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,628 You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.
- 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:14,046 But I <i>am</i> family.
- 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,631 And you <i>did</i> choose me.
- 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,299 Yeah, it's a stupid quote.
- 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:21,345 Woman: <i>Cryo-ship detected. Class-- medical.</i>
- 00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:24,973 They typically have some pretty good drugs in those.
- 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:26,975 Okay. But five minutes, tops.
- 00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:29,144 And y-you can't hog all the drugs this time.
- 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,437 Sold!
- 00:20:30,438 --> 00:21:02,220 {\an8}♪
- 00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:07,015 5 million to call.
- 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:09,184 New Lizzy, think about this.
- 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,853 That's all our money. We were gonna start a new life.
- 00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:13,730 [ Shrieking ]
- 00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:16,775 Ah, Jesus, you dumb fucking monkey.
- 00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,944 Three of a kind to the lizard man.
- 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:21,571 And a full house for the monkey!
- 00:21:21,572 --> 00:21:24,491 New Lizzy! Holy fuck, I always knew you could do it.
- 00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:26,118 God, I love you!
- 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,661 [ Chattering ]
- 00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:30,957 It's days like these that remind me why I got into this.
- 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,419 Did you get any of that?