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После развода с Эми мистер Уэйн Пупибатхол остаётся ночевать в доме Смитов, но семья Смитов устаёт от его неуправляемого алкоголизма и приказывает Рику исправить ситуацию. Рик собирает своих друзей — Гирхеда, Скванчи, Бёрдперсона, а также соседа Джина — чтобы устроить им «интервенцию». Рик и его друзья быстро оказываются на вечеринке с мистером Пупибатхолом, к которым позже присоединяется зять Джина, Хью Джекман. Однако мистер Пупибатхол всё ещё не может перестать думать об Эми и своём сыне Пупи-младшем, поэтому он убеждает Рика и его друзей пойти и попытаться наладить их отношения. Они с ужасом узнают, что Эми состоит в отношениях с Гул'Карной, частным детективом-хищником, которого мистер Пупибатхол нанял, чтобы шпионить за ней. Мистер Пупибатхол пытается похитить Пупи-младшего, пока Рик и его друзья избивают Гул'Карну. Мистер Пупибатхол понимает, что подает ужасный пример своему сыну, и возвращает его Эми и Гул'Карне. После этого мистер Пупибатхол решает протрезветь и забыть об Эми, а Рик и его друзья расходятся в разные стороны.
- 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,842 Any clue when our... houseguest is finally gonna leave?
- 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,552 It’d be nice to have the living room back.
- 00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,178 I keep tripping on all his top hats.
- 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:13,638 He’s always messing with my TiVO!
- 00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:16,182 It’s an antique, the buttons are fragile!
- 00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:17,976 Big surprise that Dad’s avoiding all this.
- 00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:21,229 Guys, he’s a family friend, he can stay as long as he needs.
- 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:24,399 Hey, so I just sold some drugs to the weird little dude in there,
- 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:25,692 he said you had cash?
- 00:00:26,025 --> 00:00:28,361 Oh, you kids in school? You having trouble focusing?
- 00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:30,196 Okay, that’s it! Morty, find your grandfather
- 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,781 while go I talk to our houseguest
- 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:32,991 Jerry, pay the dealer.
- 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,285 Yeah, I prefer the term pharmacist.
- 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,286 So do they!
- 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,707 - Any chance you have... - Sorry, I left my wallet in space.
- 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:43,209 Are you leaving to get it?
- 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,380 Mr. Poopybutthole, this has gone far enough.
- 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,841 We have been really cool to you in your time of need.
- 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:54,471 I agree, Beth. I’m a pieeeece of garbage.
- 00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:58,641 Can you boost me up so I can hook my belt to the ceiling fan?
- 00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,059 We don’t have a ceiling fan.
- 00:01:00,059 --> 00:01:03,229 Ooo wee, is that why it’s so hot?
- 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:05,190 They’re not expensive.
- 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:09,235 Bet you didn’t expect to see me in a cold open, huh?
- 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:12,572 Looks like I’ve taken another turn for the worse.
- 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,950 - It all started when Beth shot me. - I said I was sorry!
- 00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:18,578 I know. It tore you up inside...
- 00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:20,747 - Like a bullet. - It was an accident!
- 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:24,125 Anyway, then I got fired from my job,
- 00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:27,420 my wife left me, I broke both my legs,
- 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,963 failed the bar exam.
- 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,925 Ooo wee, things went downhill from there.
- 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,552 So I’ve been crashing with the Smiths for a while.
- 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:39,641 Ooo wee, I’m Mr. Popybutthole and this is Rick and Morty Season 7.
- 00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,636 {\an8}Hey buddy. Brought you a coffee.
- 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,472 {\an8}I can synthesize coffee. You don’t need to make excuses to come see me...
- 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,057 {\an8}Yeah I knew you’d say that so I didn’t even bring a cup.
- 00:02:22,141 --> 00:02:23,184 {\an8}Any progress?
- 00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:26,646 {\an8}Yes, Morty, I found the version of me that killed my wife. You just missed it.
- 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:27,856 {\an8}Okay, I get it.
- 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,858 {\an8}I had a big sword fight with him on top of Hoover Dam,
- 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,484 {\an8}then he fell and landed on a sharp spike,
- 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:33,528 {\an8}whispered “thank you” like a werewolf.
- 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:34,904 {\an8}Was asking to be polite.
- 00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,448 {\an8}The family wants you upstairs to deal with Mr. Poopybutthole.
- 00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:38,658 {\an8}It’s finally time, huh?
- 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:41,119 {\an8}Well, lucky for you guys, I know how to make someone leave.
- 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,747 {\an8}Family. I present to you, RoboGhost.
- 00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:46,332 {\an8}- Rick! - Your plan is to scare him away?
- 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,333 {\an8}- Avoidance much? - I’m listening.
- 00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:49,335 {\an8}Assembling body.
- 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,716 {\an8}Activating sentience.
- 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:57,844 {\an8}Uploading business.
- 00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:03,141 {\an8}Unfinished business detected.
- 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,517 {\an8}Terminating body.
- 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:13,860 {\an8}Okay. I need to make gravity part of its finished business
- 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,403 {\an8}and leave floors unfinished.
- 00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:18,197 {\an8}- Starting over. - Dad, you can’t keep putting this off.
- 00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:20,074 {\an8}- You’re doing an intervention with us. - Nope.
- 00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:22,243 {\an8}Then we’re sticking Poopybutthole downstairs with you.
- 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:25,163 {\an8}What is this? Is this an intervention of me not intervening?
- 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:28,333 {\an8}You know this can’t make the concept work, not comedically or clinically,
- 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,335 {\an8}its success rate is ten percent in both areas.
- 00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:33,004 {\an8}Then you have to help him on your own. And not with a ghost.
- 00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:36,549 {\an8}O, that-that’s interesting,
- 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:38,551 {\an8}you kind of gave him a little power by mentioning him.
- 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,054 {\an8}There’s a lot of science to unpack about ghosts.
- 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:44,682 {\an8}After I talk to my friend.
- 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:46,517 {\an8}He’s in the living room, Rick.
- 00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:48,019 {\an8}I’m not doing this by myself.
- 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,771 {\an8}Oh, so you’re going to have an intervention?
- 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,231 {\an8}No. I’m going to get some friends to help me talk to a friend
- 00:03:52,231 --> 00:03:54,984 {\an8}and you’d know the difference if you weren’t stupid and had friends.
- 00:03:54,984 --> 00:03:57,362 {\an8}- You’re mean! Dad! - Pick your battles, honey.
- 00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:58,905 Yeah fuck you, Summer.
- 00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:01,658 - God damn it. - Your portal closed.
- 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:04,452 Oh did it? Have an intervention or we’ll intervention you,
- 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:05,787 you bunch of stupids.
- 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,833 Gearhead! Buddy! Listen.
- 00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:13,544 We gotta help Mr. Poopybutthole. He’s in a bad place.
- 00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:17,840 Well that sounds like an intervention, which Gearhead no Likehead.
- 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,926 It’s not an intervention. And you owe me.
- 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,220 Okay fine, but now I need a drink.
- 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:23,471 Make it to go and make it two.
- 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,016 Rick, you son of a squanch!
- 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:28,935 Squanch! Told you he wasn’t dead.
- 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:29,978 We squanching?
- 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:32,939 A little, we need to have a hang with Poopybutthole and talk to him about...
- 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:33,982 His drinking.
- 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,275 Us? Not without a squanch.
- 00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:38,194 - I’d love one if you’re pouring. - Make it three.
- 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:41,781 You left a Gromflomite femur in the compost.
- 00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:44,367 Your human side is passionate but careless.
- 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,869 I also found your Federation hit list.
- 00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:48,287 Don’t go through my stuff!
- 00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:49,914 This place is worse than prison.
- 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,505 - Rick. - BP!
- 00:04:57,505 --> 00:04:58,506 It’s been a minute.
- 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,633 Is... someone here?
- 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:02,510 - Birddaughter. - You found her.
- 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:05,930 Yes. She was imprisoned in a femme fatale training camp.
- 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:08,975 That’s great! Let’s go celebrate with our closest friends
- 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,811 by encouraging Poopybutthole to dial back his drinking!
- 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,565 Suspect. But I find fatherhood exhausting
- 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,693 and would like to show my daughter what real selfishness looks like.
- 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,112 Perfect! Now, do we know anyone sober?
- 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:25,825 - Have you been drinking? - On a Thursday?
- 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:26,826 He seems ideal.
- 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:31,205 - So where to? A coffee shop? - No. He’ll know something’s up.
- 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:33,166 Yeah! and I’m not squanching just coffee!
- 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,667 Let’s squanch him to a bar!
- 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,210 It would undercut our messaging.
- 00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,795 So it is an intervention.
- 00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,589 No! We’re not asking anybody to stop drinking
- 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,967 because we’re not hypocrites or squares, we’re just concerned friends.
- 00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:46,137 Then we can at least do it at a place with a bar.
- 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:48,806 Look, I think if it has food it’s allowed to have a bar.
- 00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,146 Appreciate you guys taking me out.
- 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,647 It’s been a rough week.
- 00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:00,193 Amy’s taking pilaaaates from a guy named Guy.
- 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:02,945 You’ve been surveilling your ex-wife?
- 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:07,492 {\an8}Oooweeee not with the restraining order! I hired a Predator to follow her around.
- 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,035 {\an8}You can hire predators?
- 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,287 Yeah, they’re cheap because they live for the hunt,
- 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,581 you just have to pay ‘em to not kill your target
- 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:16,375 and if they stay cloaked there’s no licensing fee.
- 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:19,045 Welcome to Fuck You’s! My name is Mart, and...
- 00:06:19,378 --> 00:06:23,049 Fuck you! See, at Fuck You’s, we lightly tease our customers.
- 00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:24,634 Oh, this is fun.
- 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,094 What do you know, Gilligan?
- 00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:27,595 Nice.
- 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,555 Look at this depressed pencil eraser.
- 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:32,225 Did some middle schooler stick you up a cat’s asshole?
- 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:35,645 I bet you had everything and you watched it slip through your powerless
- 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,688 little fingers like the sands of time.
- 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:41,275 Be right back to take your order, folks, or should I say, fucks.
- 00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,195 Perhaps this wasn’t the best place to do this, Rick.
- 00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,488 What are you talkin’ about?
- 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,741 This is a great place to celebrate my birthday.
- 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:55,331 Birthday, Birthday, Birthday...
- 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,749 - Your birthday? - Ooo weee.
- 00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:58,751 I can’t believe y’all remembered!
- 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:03,339 I was at the end of my rope, thinking I’d worn out all my welcomes.
- 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,883 Thanks for doing all this, Rick.
- 00:07:05,883 --> 00:07:08,427 Of course, Mr. PB. What are friends for.
- 00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:10,179 Heard we got a birthday boy.
- 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:12,181 Yeah but... please don’t sing or...
- 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:13,641 Yah! Fuck you, shithead!
- 00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:18,521 Haha yeah. That sure is a smart hat...
- 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:22,024 Because even my son Poopy Jr.. hates me.
- 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,945 I can relate. Birddaughter is a total bitch.
- 00:07:26,487 --> 00:07:27,905 If you’re a parent you can say that.
- 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:31,450 Well. Should we do shots?
- 00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:32,827 Rick?
- 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,372 Let’S get Riggity, Riggity, wrecked!
- 00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:38,374 <i>I take a shot Do a pop</i>
- 00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:39,625 <i>Blow a line Huff turpentine</i>
- 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:40,960 <i>Get wrecked Text your ex</i>
- 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,211 <i>Fight a cop Feeling fine</i>
- 00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:43,379 <i>Punch your dick Turn some tricks</i>
- 00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:44,630 <i>Quit your job Buy a dog</i>
- 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:45,923 <i>Have two beers Then ten more</i>
- 00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:47,300 <i>Pop a pill And meet the floor.</i>
- 00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:52,346 That one’s not my bellybutton.
- 00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:54,056 Well, what is it?
- 00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,320 Hold on, everyone!
- 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,034 I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!
- 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,243 Is there a restroom?
- 00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:15,244 At the front.
- 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:31,010 Oh shit it’s happening.
- 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:34,514 Honey rave! Bee time, baby.
- 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:37,225 Whoa, what world is this?
- 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,435 - We’re on Earth. - How do you know?
- 00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:41,437 Because I think that is Hugh Jackman.
- 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,609 Oh shit, it is. Hey, Jackman!
- 00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:49,820 Makes sense he recognizes me, we both hosted the Oscars.
- 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,197 It’s a pretty exclusive club.
- 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,908 Listen guys, don’t make this tacky, nobody call him Wolverine,
- 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,618 - just treat him like a regular... - Gene!
- 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,662 - Small world, mate! - Hugh!
- 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:58,955 Hugh married my cousin.
- 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:02,166 Which I guess makes him a Wolver-ine-law.
- 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,377 That is fantastic!
- 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,379 Didn’t you host the Oscars?
- 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,214 - Yeah, I uh... - Alright, Alright, listen.
- 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,634 Now, I’m not assuming you guys want to party with me tonight, but if you do.
- 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:12,760 - Yes we do. - Ooo wee.
- 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,889 If you do, you do it together, as a team.
- 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,558 Now I need to go take what I call a “Huge Ackman.”
- 00:09:19,558 --> 00:09:21,394 Ackman is Australian slang for shit.
- 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,104 Don’t look it up. Do make a decision.
- 00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:25,731 Because from here, I’m heading to the Jack Shack.
- 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,609 - What’s the Jack Shack? - It’s just his house.
- 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,945 But guys. I don’t think we should go there.
- 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:34,740 I challenge you to explain why not without making us want to go more.
- 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,159 Well, Hugh’s pretty anti-limitation.
- 00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:40,413 When he parties, it gets... extreme.
- 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,539 Challenge failed.
- 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,499 Woah! What’s extreme by the Gene metric?
- 00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:45,126 Does he have Les Mis shot glasses?
- 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,211 We’re not exactly squanchweights, brother.
- 00:09:47,211 --> 00:09:50,798 It’s my birthday and I wish to party with Hugh Jackman.
- 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:53,259 - Then you shall! - That was a fast shit.
- 00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,261 But first everybody’s taking these.
- 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,430 - What are they? - Maybe they’re Tic-Tacs.
- 00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:58,889 Maybe they’re cyanide.
- 00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,642 Maybe I don’t like to party with people that hesitate.
- 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,645 There you go! That’s the spirit!
- 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:08,357 Now we're all completely fun!
- 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,281 This was not oversold!
- 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,241 A, b, d, e...
- 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:20,119 I lost my C. My alphabet has no C.
- 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,538 Did I do these already? Did I ask that already?
- 00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,333 Squanch, yeah. My turn.
- 00:10:26,917 --> 00:10:27,835 Did I win?
- 00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:32,840 The best bloody day of my life.
- 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:35,092 My wedding was pretty great too.
- 00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:36,802 I was talking about the Tony award.
- 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,515 - Yes. - We’re squanching now!
- 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,518 - Why the long face, mate? - Shape of my skull.
- 00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:45,728 You know, Mr. Poopybutthole,
- 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:48,189 when I wrote Caribbean Queen, you know what my agent said?
- 00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:50,566 - Billy Ocean wrote that... - That’s what he said.
- 00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,318 Exactly that. “Billy Ocean wrote this.
- 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,819 Don’t write it again. You’re not Billy Ocean.”
- 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,654 You know what I did? I fired my agent.
- 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:59,367 Don’t accept other people’s limitations.
- 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,328 What does your heart want, lil’ ripper?
- 00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:03,788 Right now, don’t think.
- 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:07,208 Right now, my heart wants Amy back.
- 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,293 Everybody! Our friend wants Amy back.
- 00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:10,378 Squanch idea.
- 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,380 I will agree to anything in this state.
- 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,632 I do not think that’s a good idea.
- 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,510 Ladies and Gentlemen! This man is a fake friend.
- 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,678 - Come on, Hugh. -"Come on, Hugh."
- 00:11:19,678 --> 00:11:22,390 Come on, everybody. Don’t call Hugh Jackman Wolverine.
- 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,934 Don’t call yourself Billy Ocean. Don’t get Amy Back.
- 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,228 You’re a vampire, brother.
- 00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:28,938 You feed off other people’s energy.
- 00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,356 That is kind of true.
- 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,359 Are you kidding me? You’ve been living on my daughter’s sofa for months.
- 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:36,028 - Do you want me to leave? - The entire family does!
- 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,656 - Why not say something? - Because you’re my friend!
- 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:41,784 A real friend would have known it’s not my birthday.
- 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,828 O shit.
- 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,204 Fake friend!
- 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,956 You’re not helping, Hugh Jackman.
- 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:51,210 You do not tell me what to do. Or Anyone Here.
- 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,378 - Affirmative. - Yeah, baby!
- 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,380 Why would you pretend it was your birthday?
- 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:57,800 You think I don’t know a half-assed intervention when I see one coming?
- 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,176 O Shit.
- 00:11:59,718 --> 00:12:01,220 Love where you are, man.
- 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,597 You’re just Wolverining right now. You feel that?
- 00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:06,517 I think so. Does Wolverining hurt a little?
- 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:07,768 - Every time! - Every time!
- 00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:09,395 Alright, grab a drink to go, gentlemen.
- 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,147 Because we’re either getting Amy back.
- 00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:12,857 Or. We’re going home.
- 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:15,067 - You’re nuts! - Then nut me up, bitch!
- 00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:16,902 Nut me up!
- 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,447 - Nut me up! - Nut me up!
- 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:20,531 It’s not an expression!
- 00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:23,367 Amy’S coming back dead or alive!
- 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:25,744 Yes.
- 00:12:26,954 --> 00:12:29,498 Fake friend, my ass. I know how to be there for my friends.
- 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,419 Father? Why?
- 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,172 Ah crap. Hang on. Lemme go upstairs and grab the business finisher.
- 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:40,259 From where I’m sitting, you’re the one with unfinished business.
- 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:41,886 Hey, mind your own business.
- 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:46,474 Business is my business. And brother, business is good.
- 00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:55,149 Oh, you come back to ruin our fun?
- 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:56,775 No. To help you finish this.
- 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,862 I made you guys come out because I didn’t want to talk to PB alone.
- 00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:01,489 I’m here to go down with the ship.
- 00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:03,782 - Respect, Rick. - Hit it, Hugh!
- 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:08,954 <i>I lose my cool when she steps in the room</i>
- 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,921 <i>And I get so excited just from her perfume</i>
- 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,298 Weeeeooo, there she is. My Amy.
- 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:22,927 <i>Electric eyes that you can't ignore...</i>
- 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:25,638 Oh, she feels my love around her! Oowee!
- 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,431 Wow. Your love is pretty strong.
- 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:31,435 I guess that’s not all she’s feeling.
- 00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:35,523 Predator P.I.? This is the opposite of what I hired you for!
- 00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:39,485 Now, now. Did you do this, Gul’karna?
- 00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:42,696 <i>You do this? You do this?</i>
- 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,031 <i>...running my game...</i>
- 00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,325 I’m gonna uncloak this later...
- 00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:48,077 <i>Now. Now.</i>
- 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,497 Okay, honestly PB, that could have gone a lot worse...
- 00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:53,207 Pb?
- 00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:55,501 <i>- Caribbean Queen...</i> - Ooooweeee gotta goooo!
- 00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:56,919 Run!
- 00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:01,799 I’m too drunk to flee a Predator right now.
- 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:04,301 Mud. The mud thing. Everyone mud up and hide!
- 00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:08,722 What’s that smell? Squanchy, that’s not mud.
- 00:14:08,722 --> 00:14:10,140 Well, I’m not from this planet.
- 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,725 Daddy, what’s happening?
- 00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:13,686 Quiet, Poopy Jr. I’m taking you home.
- 00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:18,065 - Look, I just didn’t think I could... - What? Be honest?
- 00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:19,858 Don’t high-road me. It’s just as dishonest
- 00:14:19,858 --> 00:14:21,860 to play dumb about wearing out your welcome!
- 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:23,487 You could’ve just told me.
- 00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:25,447 You’re an adult! Read the room and figure it out.
- 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,511 I admit it, that was self destructive.
- 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,433 Use me as a shield, I feel nothing!
- 00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:56,895 Squanch this.
- 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,236 I’m so... I’m so squanched up, man.
- 00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:10,868 I’m not really with these guys, I was just walking in this park...
- 00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:14,371 No!
- 00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,415 Why is this my thing?
- 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:19,001 No! I won’t let you take my family from me.
- 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:31,722 Guess you didn’t see season 4, episode 3.
- 00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:32,723 Let’s Go!
- 00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:35,100 Fuck.
- 00:15:37,102 --> 00:15:39,313 Who’s got the three dots on their forehead now?
- 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,398 Could have done that before he punched me.
- 00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:45,319 Suck my squanch!
- 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,451 Gimme that big ol’ tooth!
- 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:54,453 Gul’karna...
- 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:01,919 No, no, stop!
- 00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:03,837 What are you doing? I want that skull!
- 00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:07,424 No, Rick. No more. This is my fault. All of it.
- 00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,885 And... if he’s gonna protect my wife and chiiild,
- 00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:13,138 that’s a great thing to know while I get my shit together.
- 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,223 Wayne?
- 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,933 - Wayne? - Amy.
- 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:18,060 I messed up real baaad,
- 00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:21,397 I came to say I don’t know what to do without you, but...
- 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,899 I guess I can start by not kidnapping.
- 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,694 That’s definitely where you should start.
- 00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,117 I’m... sorry, Amy.
- 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:35,327 You should be. But I’m not.
- 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,954 We’re a family now.
- 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:42,126 Me, Poopy Jr., and Gul’Karna, Clan Leader of The Skin'Thieves.
- 00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,669 Goodbye, Wayne.
- 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,170 Goodbye.
- 00:16:46,922 --> 00:16:48,340 Ooo-weee, a musket?
- 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,342 I’m starting to think it’s like their currency...
- 00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:56,348 <i>I hunt because I must. But man possesses a precious gift; the power to change.</i>
- 00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:59,101 More like the power of music, bitch!
- 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,227 What the fuck?
- 00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:02,271 Jesus, Hugh, we were just resolving it.
- 00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,148 Well, I’m an actor and I’m high.
- 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:07,818 “Caribbean Queen, written by Hugh Jackman, age sixteen.”
- 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,028 How’s that for a twist?
- 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:10,738 Confusing.
- 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:12,531 Well. Sometimes you have to believe.
- 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:15,826 Wow, that’s reeeal inspiring. Makes me think of how...
- 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,871 - Get the hell out of here! - Okay, okay, sorry.
- 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,873 lright guys, I’m buying drive through tacos,
- 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,542 but nobody tells my nutritionist and we have to steal a car.
- 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:26,879 Wayne’ huh?
- 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:31,884 Oooweee. But I prefer Mr. Popybutthole. More refined.
- 00:17:34,052 --> 00:17:37,598 It appears Birddaughter has broken into another Federation compound.
- 00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:39,057 I must go.
- 00:17:39,057 --> 00:17:41,602 Wayne, this counts as attending your actual birthday.
- 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,396 Rick. It was... canonical to see you.
- 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:45,731 Yeah, let’s call it.
- 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,442 I wanna pass out before I remember what we did tonight.
- 00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:52,488 I never want to forget it. And I never want to repeat it.
- 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,072 Proud of you, little buddy.
- 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,366 You too, Squanch.
- 00:17:56,825 --> 00:18:00,788 Fuck. Look at us. A bird guy, talking cat,
- 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,874 what are you? A robot man, and a mutant.
- 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:07,127 Was a bonzer night, mates. That’s one for the books.
- 00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:09,588 <i>Bonzer night indeed.</i>
- 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:12,257 <i>Kept in touch with the guys over the years.</i>
- 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,760 <i>As much as ya can in this fast world.</i>
- 00:18:15,135 --> 00:18:17,262 <i>Birdperson went home to take on a challenge</i>
- 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:19,598 <i>way more difficult than a Predator...</i>
- 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,517 <i>raising Birddaughter.</i>
- 00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:25,813 <i>Gearhead went back to The Gear System and got a spinal replacement.</i>
- 00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:27,773 <i>He’s still paying it off.</i>
- 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:31,485 <i>Squanchy? Checked himself into a nice rehab.</i>
- 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:34,321 <i>No one thought it would stick and it didn’t.</i>
- 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:37,866 <i>He was later arrested for smuggling toad venom across the border.</i>
- 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:40,035 <i>to glue Hugh Jackman went to the Jack Shack</i>
- 00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:42,996 <i>back together the Tony award that Gene shot.</i>
- 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:47,125 <i>And possibly to put a bullet in all future Wolverine references.</i>
- 00:18:47,125 --> 00:18:48,293 <i>Thanks to us.</i>
- 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:51,547 <i>And what came of Rick? I think he learned something that night.</i>
- 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,341 <i>About friendship. About honesty.</i>
- 00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:58,053 <i>And maybe he learned something about himseelllf.</i>
- 00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:02,850 Here. Forgot to give you a fading pill. Great for hangovers.
- 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:06,144 Just to clarify, I had to take an un-fading pill to counteract
- 00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:07,938 the original fading pill I just took.
- 00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:10,315 Okay?
- 00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:12,150 And if you’re hung up on why the taxi disappeared,
- 00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:15,153 the pills aren’t sentient, but they do detect human coverings,
- 00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:17,781 so it saw the taxi as some sort of large overcoat.
- 00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:19,324 Doesn’t matter.
- 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,076 You uh, gonna be alright?
- 00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:22,619 Got a place to stay?
- 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,122 I can 3D print you an apartment on the moon.
- 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,499 I’ll figure it out, Rick. Thanks.
- 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:29,710 Well, here I go pill’in again.
- 00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:36,216 Yep. Don’t any of you worry about Mr. Popybutthole.
- 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:39,887 I got a lot of work to do, but I’ll land on my poopy little feet.
- 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,471 I always do.
- 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:46,351 This burns like hell. How did the other guys not react?
- 00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:49,813 Is mine different? It’s like my skin is boiling!
- 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,025 Guys, I got the Best Buds Burrito Box.
- 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,860 They normally ask for proof of friendship,
- 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,987 but the cashier trusted me that you guys were out...
- 00:19:58,697 --> 00:19:59,615 ...here.
- 00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,284 Not cool, man.
- 00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:45,202 You don’t have to do this, Sheriff. It’s your last day on the job.
- 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:48,956 That’s exactly why I must. I ain’t retiring a coward.
- 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:50,916 Get out of here, officer.
- 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,377 And go take care of my granddaughter.
- 00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:33,291 <i>When I was young and in my prime, my mind being free from care.</i>
- 00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,293 I ain’t scared of you!
- 00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:39,172 <i>Whilst leaving all in Donegal.</i>
- 00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:44,177 <i>That i might, plough, the raging main,</i>
- 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:47,472 <i>going to amerikay...</i>
- 00:22:01,528 --> 00:22:02,446 What happened?
- 00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:04,406 I think it ran out of gas.
- 00:22:06,408 --> 00:22:09,161 So, he could have survived if he just stood back five feet?
- 00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:13,206 Well. Let’s not tell his granddaughter that.
- 00:00:06,670 --> 00:00:08,840 Никто не в курсе, когда наш гость уже уйдёт?
- 00:00:08,910 --> 00:00:10,770 А то без гостиной жить такое себе.
- 00:00:10,790 --> 00:00:12,180 Я постоянно о его цилиндры спотыкаюсь.
- 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:16,180 Он затыркал мой ТВ-рекордер ТиВо, а это винтаж, и кнопки там хрупкие.
- 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:18,070 Удивительно, что отцу вообще до фени.
- 00:00:18,090 --> 00:00:21,230 Ребята, он - друг нашей семьи. Пусть гостит, сколько потребуется.
- 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:24,570 В общем, я отдала колёса тому коротышке в соседней комнате,
- 00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:25,890 он сказал, что бабки у вас.
- 00:00:26,030 --> 00:00:28,360 О, вы в школу ходите? Проблемы с вниманием есть?
- 00:00:28,410 --> 00:00:31,780 Так, всё! Морти, отыщи деда, а я поговорю с нашим гостем.
- 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:32,990 Джерри, заплати барыге.
- 00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:35,290 Я предпочитаю, чтобы меня называли фармацевт.
- 00:00:35,340 --> 00:00:36,170 Они тоже!
- 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,700 У тебя случайно нет...
- 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,950 Сорян, забыла кошелёк в космосе.
- 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:43,460 Ты за кошельком?
- 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,380 Мистер Жопосранчик, это уже перебор.
- 00:00:47,470 --> 00:00:50,010 Мы поддержали тебя в трудную минуту.
- 00:00:50,970 --> 00:00:54,470 Ты права, Бэт. Я натуральный урод.
- 00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:58,640 Подсадишь меня, чтобы я смог привязать ремень к потолочному вентилятору?
- 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,060 У нас нет вентилятора.
- 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,230 Ооой-ёёёй, так вот чё тут так душно.
- 00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:05,340 А ведь он недорогой.
- 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,460 Не ожидали увидеть меня в открывающей сцене, да?
- 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:12,570 Похоже, надо мной снова сгущаются тучи.
- 00:01:12,570 --> 00:01:14,810 Всё началось, когда Бэт подстрелила меня.
- 00:01:14,860 --> 00:01:15,930 Я же извинилась.
- 00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:18,640 Я знаю. У тебя сердце кровью обливалось.
- 00:01:18,950 --> 00:01:19,770 Как от пули.
- 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:20,950 Это случайность.
- 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,270 Короче, потом меня уволили с работы,
- 00:01:24,290 --> 00:01:27,420 жена бросила меня, я сломал обе ноги,
- 00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:28,960 завалил экзамен на адвоката.
- 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:31,930 Ооой-ёёёй, вся моя жизнь покатилась к чертям.
- 00:01:31,930 --> 00:01:34,550 Поэтому пока что я обосновался у Смитов.
- 00:01:34,550 --> 00:01:39,640 Оооой-ёёёёй, я - мистер Жопосранчик, а это седьмой сезон "Рика и Морти".
- 00:02:14,490 --> 00:02:16,620 Эй, дружище, я принёс тебе кофе.
- 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:19,100 Я могу его синтезировать. Зачем тебе повод, чтобы увидеться со мной?
- 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,300 Я знал, что ты так скажешь, поэтому ничего не принёс.
- 00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:23,180 Есть успехи?
- 00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:26,650 Да, Морти. Я выследил Рика, который убил мою жену. Ты всё пропустил.
- 00:02:26,650 --> 00:02:27,610 Ладно, я понял.
- 00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:31,490 Мы эпично бились на мечах на плотине Гувера, он разбился о что-то острое
- 00:02:31,540 --> 00:02:33,530 и прошептал "Спасибо", как оборотень.
- 00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:34,930 Я спросил из вежливости.
- 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:37,530 Семья хочет, чтобы ты разобрался с мистером Жопосранчиком.
- 00:02:37,550 --> 00:02:38,660 Пришло время?
- 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:41,350 К счастью для вас, я умею выгонять людей из дома.
- 00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:44,750 Семья, я представляю вам РобоПризрака!
- 00:02:44,750 --> 00:02:46,650 - Рик! - Ты хочешь напугать его? - Самому влом что ли?
- 00:02:46,670 --> 00:02:47,670 А мне интересно.
- 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,610 Сборка тела.
- 00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:54,720 Активация чувств.
- 00:02:56,090 --> 00:02:57,840 Загрузка дел.
- 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,140 Обнаружено неоконченное дело.
- 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,740 Уничтожение тела.
- 00:03:10,650 --> 00:03:15,400 Так, надо прикрутить гравитацию к завершенным делам, а пол оставить незавершённым.
- 00:03:15,770 --> 00:03:16,670 Всё по новой.
- 00:03:16,690 --> 00:03:19,600 Пап, хватит откладывать это дело. Ты устроишь вместе с нами интервенцию.
- 00:03:19,620 --> 00:03:20,070 Нет.
- 00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:22,240 Тогда мистер Жопосранчик будет жить с тобой.
- 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,160 Это чё? Интервенция по поводу того, что я не вмешиваюсь?
- 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:28,420 Вы так ничего не добьётесь, ни в комическом, ни в клиническом смысле.
- 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,340 Процент успеха в обоих случаях - десять процентов.
- 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,140 Значит, ты сам должен ему помочь. Без всяких призраков.
- 00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:38,740 О, эт-это интересно. Ты вспомнила про него и тем самым придала ему сил.
- 00:03:38,890 --> 00:03:41,320 Тема призраков очень плохо изучена.
- 00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:44,930 Но сначала поговорю со своим другом.
- 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,520 Он сейчас в гостиной, Рик.
- 00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:48,090 Я не буду делать это в одиночку.
- 00:03:48,110 --> 00:03:49,840 Ой, так ты устроишь интервенцию?
- 00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:52,340 Нет, я соберу друзей, и они помогут мне поговорить с другом.
- 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,080 Вы бы поняли, будь у вас мозги и друзья.
- 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:56,320 Ты злой! Пап!
- 00:03:56,350 --> 00:03:57,430 Не трать силы.
- 00:03:57,450 --> 00:03:58,910 Ха-ха! Да, иди в жопу, Саммер.
- 00:04:00,110 --> 00:04:00,850 Твою мать.
- 00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:01,690 Портал закрылся.
- 00:04:01,710 --> 00:04:02,580 Да ты чё?
- 00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:05,970 Устрой интервенцию, или мы устроим интервенцию тебе. Дебилы.
- 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,340 Шестерня! Дружбан!
- 00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:13,530 Слушай, надо помочь мистеру Жопосранчику. Он совсем расклеился.
- 00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:17,960 Кажись, ты предлагаешь интервенцию. А у Шестерни нет дел до фигни.
- 00:04:17,980 --> 00:04:20,000 Это не интервенция. И за тобой должок.
- 00:04:20,020 --> 00:04:22,260 Ладно, но мне надо выпить.
- 00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:23,720 Бери с собой и мне налей.
- 00:04:25,220 --> 00:04:27,020 Рик, сквончин ты сын!
- 00:04:27,020 --> 00:04:29,080 Сквончи! Я ж говорил, что он не сдох.
- 00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:29,980 Посквончим?
- 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:33,090 Слегка. Нам надо потусить с Жопосранчиком и поговорить с ним насчёт...
- 00:04:33,110 --> 00:04:34,160 Алкоголизма.
- 00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:36,310 Нам? Без сквонча никак.
- 00:04:36,380 --> 00:04:37,590 Я бы не отказался.
- 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:38,340 И мне налей.
- 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:42,070 Ты оставила бедро громфломита в компосте.
- 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,510 Твоя человеческая натура ретива, но небрежна.
- 00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:46,960 Также, я нашёл твой список членов Федерации на уничтожение.
- 00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:50,030 Не копайся в моих вещах! Здесь хуже, чем в тюрьме.
- 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:56,680 Рик.
- 00:04:56,700 --> 00:04:58,510 ПЛ! Сколько зим!
- 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:00,700 Ты... не один?
- 00:05:00,730 --> 00:05:01,590 Птичья дочь.
- 00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:02,570 Ты нашёл её.
- 00:05:02,630 --> 00:05:05,930 Да. Её держали в тренировочном лагере для роковых женщин.
- 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:09,010 Ништяк! Погнали отпразднуем с лучшими друзьями
- 00:05:09,030 --> 00:05:11,980 и уговорим Жопосрачника сбавить обороты с выпивкой.
- 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:13,790 Подозрительно.
- 00:05:13,950 --> 00:05:18,690 Но отцовство даётся нелегко, и я хочу показать дочери, что такое настоящий эгоизм.
- 00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:21,330 Шикос! Нам нужен кто-нибудь трезвый.
- 00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:24,820 Бухал сегодня?
- 00:05:24,850 --> 00:05:25,880 Сёдня ж четверг.
- 00:05:25,970 --> 00:05:27,140 То, что надо.
- 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,980 Куда пойдём? В кофейню?
- 00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:31,330 Нет. Он заподозрит неладное.
- 00:05:31,350 --> 00:05:34,670 Да! Не хочу я сквончить кофе. Давайте засквончим его в бар.
- 00:05:34,670 --> 00:05:36,210 Наш посыл обесценится.
- 00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,800 И всё-таки это интервенция.
- 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,740 Нет! Мы просим его завязать с выпивкой,
- 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,970 потому что мы - сознательные друзья, а не лицемеры или скучные обыватели.
- 00:05:42,970 --> 00:05:46,140 Тогда может засядем в месте, где есть бар?
- 00:05:46,460 --> 00:05:49,130 Ну, если есть еда, то и бар не будет лишним.
- 00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:53,330 Пшёл нах!
- 00:05:53,350 --> 00:05:55,410 Спасибо, что вытащили меня, народ.
- 00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:56,830 Тяжёлая была неделька.
- 00:05:57,020 --> 00:06:00,410 Эми занимается пилаааатесом с чуваком по имени Чувак.
- 00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:02,950 Ты следишь за бывшей женой?
- 00:06:02,970 --> 00:06:07,490 Оооой-ёёёёй. Мне суд запретил, так что для слежки я нанял Хищника.
- 00:06:07,510 --> 00:06:09,190 Хищников можно нанимать?
- 00:06:09,210 --> 00:06:11,350 Да, берут дёшево, потому что живут ради охоты.
- 00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:13,670 Надо только заплатить, чтобы не убивали цель.
- 00:06:13,690 --> 00:06:16,380 А с маскировкой не надо платить за использование образа.
- 00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:19,050 Приветствуем в "Пшёл нах!" Меня зовут Март и...
- 00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:23,050 Пшли нах! В нашем заведении мы слегка подтруниваем над гостями.
- 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:24,690 О, а это прикольно.
- 00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:26,290 Ясен пень, лохозавр!
- 00:06:26,670 --> 00:06:27,670 Класс.
- 00:06:27,690 --> 00:06:29,670 Смотрите какой грустный ластик.
- 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:32,390 Тебя чё, школьник засунул в кошачью жопу?
- 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,870 Наверняка у тебя было всё,
- 00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:37,760 а ты беспомощно наблюдал, как всё ускользало из твоих рук, будто пески времени.
- 00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:41,490 Скоро вернусь за вашими заказами, народ. Или лучше сказать "хуй вам в рот"?
- 00:06:41,630 --> 00:06:44,170 Возможно, мы выбрали не самое лучшее место, Рик.
- 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,560 О чём это ты?
- 00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:48,740 Отличное место, чтобы отметить мою днюху.
- 00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:55,550 Днюху... днюху... днюху... днюху... днюху... днюху...
- 00:06:55,570 --> 00:06:56,110 Днюху?
- 00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:58,990 Ооой-ёёёй! Даже не верится, что вы вспомнили.
- 00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:03,340 Я был в полном отчаянии. Уж было думал, что начал злоупотреблять гостеприимством.
- 00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:05,860 Спасибо тебе за всё это, Рик.
- 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,430 Не за что, мистер Жопчик. Мы ж друзья.
- 00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:10,200 Да у нас тут именниник.
- 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,230 Да, только не пойте пожалуйста и не...
- 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:13,860 Пшёл нах, говнюк!
- 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,460 Не платит алименты.
- 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,520 Ха-ха. Мда, остроумная шляпа,
- 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:22,000 ведь меня ненавидит даже мой сын, мистер Жопчик младший.
- 00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:23,070 Ой-ёй.
- 00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:26,060 Я тебя понимаю. Птичья Дочь - та ещё стерва.
- 00:07:26,490 --> 00:07:28,130 Родителям так говорить можно.
- 00:07:28,410 --> 00:07:31,590 Ну что, может, по шотику?
- 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:32,830 Рик?
- 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,840 Набубенимся по самый бубен!
- 00:07:35,860 --> 00:07:36,300 Да!
- 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,470 ♪ Налил шот прямо в рот ♪
- 00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:39,740 ♪ Скипидар в нос мне дал ♪
- 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,040 ♪ Бывшей тоже написал ♪
- 00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:42,270 ♪ Копу вмазал, всё ништяк ♪
- 00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,510 ♪ В член ударь, шмару жарь ♪
- 00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:44,740 ♪ Увольняйся, пса купи ♪
- 00:07:44,770 --> 00:07:46,050 ♪ Вмажь пивка, потом ещё ♪
- 00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:47,530 ♪ Заглоти колесо, встретит пол твоё лицо ♪
- 00:07:50,820 --> 00:07:52,570 Там у меня не пупок.
- 00:07:53,110 --> 00:07:54,210 А что тогда?
- 00:08:00,150 --> 00:08:00,980 Тусо-мешалка.
- 00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,340 Ооой-ёёёй!
- 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,320 Держитесь покрепче!
- 00:08:08,850 --> 00:08:10,130 Ооой-ёёёй!
- 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,010 Нечем дышать! Нечем дышать!
- 00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:14,240 Тут есть туалет?
- 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,240 Спереди.
- 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,960 Какая жесть! Ооой-ёёёёй!
- 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,240 Заебца, началось.
- 00:08:31,830 --> 00:08:34,580 Медовый рейв! Пожужжим, детка!
- 00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:37,290 Ого! Что это за мир?
- 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:38,610 Мы на Земле.
- 00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:39,510 С чего ты взял?
- 00:08:39,530 --> 00:08:41,530 Потому что это Хью Джекман.
- 00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:46,810 Ебать, и правда. Здарова, Джекман!
- 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:51,200 Естественно он меня узнал, мы ж оба вели церемонию Оскар. Там эксклюзивная тусовочка.
- 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:55,150 Мужики, давайте без всякой фигни. Не называйте его Росомахой и общайтесь с ним, как с обычным...
- 00:08:55,170 --> 00:08:55,760 Джин!
- 00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:56,990 Мир тесен, друг.
- 00:08:57,010 --> 00:08:58,960 Хью! Хью женился на моей кузине.
- 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:02,400 Получается, что он для меня братсомаха.
- 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,530 Просто офигенно!
- 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,380 Ты был ведущим на Оскаре?
- 00:09:06,460 --> 00:09:07,450 Да, я...
- 00:09:07,470 --> 00:09:08,340 Короче, слушайте.
- 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:11,630 Вряд ли вы собирались тусить сегодня со мной, но если хотите...
- 00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:12,760 - Ооой-ёёёй. - Мы потусим с тобой. - Хотим!
- 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,890 Если хотите, то делайте это вместе, как команда.
- 00:09:17,030 --> 00:09:19,700 А я схожу и как следует "Хью Джакну".
- 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,390 "Джакнуть" - это "срать" на австралийском сленге.
- 00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:23,420 Не гуглите. Но примите решение.
- 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:26,050 Ну а потом я забурюсь в Джилище.
- 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,660 Что за Джилище?
- 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:28,860 Его жилище.
- 00:09:28,990 --> 00:09:31,100 Ребят, не думаю, что стоит туда идти.
- 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:34,740 Попробуй объяснить причину так, чтобы мы не захотели идти туда ещё сильнее.
- 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:37,560 Ну... Хью выступает против всяких ограничений.
- 00:09:37,580 --> 00:09:40,520 Его тусовки уходят в крайности.
- 00:09:40,540 --> 00:09:41,540 Ты не смог.
- 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:43,610 Что такое крайность в понимании Джина?
- 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,260 Стаканы с изображнием "Отверженных"?
- 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,210 Мы тебе не сквончуханы, братан.
- 00:09:47,210 --> 00:09:50,800 Это моя днюха, и я хочу тусить с Хью Джекманом.
- 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,550 И потусишь!
- 00:09:52,580 --> 00:09:53,510 Быстро он срёт.
- 00:09:53,690 --> 00:09:55,310 Но сначала слопайте таблеточки.
- 00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:56,440 Что это?
- 00:09:56,460 --> 00:09:58,890 Может, Тик-Так. А может, цианид.
- 00:09:58,910 --> 00:10:01,880 А может, я не люблю тусить с теми, кто мешкается.
- 00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:04,690 Ну вот! Другое дело.
- 00:10:05,020 --> 00:10:09,160 Теперь-то мы оторвёмся по полной!
- 00:10:12,740 --> 00:10:15,280 Чел не втюхал нам пустышку.
- 00:10:15,340 --> 00:10:17,300 А, Б, Г, Д...
- 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:20,100 Я потерял "В". В моём алфавите нет буква "В"!
- 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,780 Я уже это пробовал? Я уже задавал этот вопрос?
- 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,720 Осквончеть! Мой черёд!
- 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:27,840 Я победил?
- 00:10:31,490 --> 00:10:32,910 Самый офигенный день в моей жизни.
- 00:10:32,930 --> 00:10:35,090 Моя свадьба тоже была славной.
- 00:10:35,090 --> 00:10:36,800 Я имел ввиду премию Тони.
- 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:38,190 Да!
- 00:10:38,210 --> 00:10:38,660 Пли!
- 00:10:39,630 --> 00:10:40,400 Да!
- 00:10:40,430 --> 00:10:41,790 Засквончили!
- 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,080 Чего ты нос повесил?
- 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,700 У меня просто череп такой.
- 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:48,510 Мистер Жопосранчик, знаешь, что сказал мой агент, когда я сочинил песню "Карибская королева"?
- 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:49,920 Её сочинил Билли Оушен.
- 00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,320 Именно так он и сказал. "Её сочинил Билли Оушен.
- 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:55,930 Не сочиняй её по новой. Ты не Билли Оушен." И что я сделал? Уволил агента.
- 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:59,700 Не примеряй на себя ограничения других людей.
- 00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:02,660 Чего хочет твоё сердце, крутыш?
- 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:04,020 Прямо сейчас. Не думай.
- 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:07,330 Прямо сейчас моё сердце хочет вернуть Эми.
- 00:11:07,350 --> 00:11:09,340 Народ! Наш друг хочет вернуть Эми!
- 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,380 Осквончительно!
- 00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:12,500 В таком состоянии я согласен на всё.
- 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,740 Не думаю, что это хорошая затея.
- 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:17,650 Дамы и господа! Перед вами псевдо-друг.
- 00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:18,600 Хорош тебе, Хью.
- 00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:20,980 "Хорош тебе, Хью. Хорош вам, мужики.
- 00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:22,600 Не называйте Хью Джекмана Росомахой.
- 00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:25,240 Не называй себя Билли Оушеном. Не возвращай Эми".
- 00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:28,940 Ты - вампир, братан. Ты питаешься чужой энергией.
- 00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:30,360 А ведь он прав.
- 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:33,360 Издеваешься? Ты несколько месяцев живёшь на диване моей дочери.
- 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,760 Хочешь, чтобы я ушёл?
- 00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:36,030 Вся семья этого хочет.
- 00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:37,260 А чего ж тогда молчал?
- 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,750 Потому что ты - мой друг.
- 00:11:38,770 --> 00:11:41,900 Настоящий друг знал бы, что моя днюха не сегодня.
- 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,020 Ну пиздец!
- 00:11:44,290 --> 00:11:45,250 Псевдо-друг.
- 00:11:45,270 --> 00:11:47,020 Помог бы лучше, Хью Джекман.
- 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:51,210 Не указывай мне, что делать. И остальным тоже.
- 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:52,320 - Так точно. - Да, детка!
- 00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:54,350 Зачем ты сделал вид, что сегодня твоя днюха?
- 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:57,800 Да тут за километр разило сраной интервенцией.
- 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,500 Ну пиздец!
- 00:12:00,130 --> 00:12:03,720 Вот это мне нравится, мужик. Ты прям как Росомаха. Чувствуешь?
- 00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:06,520 Наверное. А Росомахе немного больно?
- 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:07,770 - Каждый раз! - Каждый раз!
- 00:12:07,830 --> 00:12:09,590 Берите напитки с собой, господа.
- 00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:12,930 Либо мы вернём Эми, либо... уйдём восвояси.
- 00:12:12,950 --> 00:12:13,720 Ты чиканулся.
- 00:12:13,740 --> 00:12:15,070 Так чикани меня, сука!
- 00:12:15,530 --> 00:12:17,230 Чикани!
- 00:12:17,450 --> 00:12:19,450 - Чикани! - Чикани!
- 00:12:19,450 --> 00:12:20,670 Нет такого слова.
- 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,630 Эми вернётся к тебе живой или мёртвой!
- 00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:25,740 Да!
- 00:12:26,950 --> 00:12:29,640 Псевдо-друг, ага. Я умею заботиться о друзьях.
- 00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:33,400 Отец? За что?
- 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:36,250 Чёрт, потерпи. Я сейчас притащу завершитель дел.
- 00:12:36,270 --> 00:12:40,260 Лично мне кажется, что незаконченные дела здесь только у тебя.
- 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:41,890 Эй, не лезь не в своё дело.
- 00:12:41,950 --> 00:12:46,720 Дела и есть моё дело. И знаешь, братишка, дела идут хорошо.
- 00:12:52,790 --> 00:12:55,130 О, вернулся, чтобы испортить нам всю веселуху?
- 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,850 Нет. Чтобы помочь закончить дело.
- 00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:00,110 Я собрал всех вас, потому что не хотел говорить со Сранчиком в одиночку.
- 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:01,670 Помирать, так с музыкой.
- 00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:02,780 Уважуха, Рик.
- 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:03,970 Жги, Хью!
- 00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:08,950 ♪ Рядом с тобой я теряю покой ♪
- 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:16,660 ♪ И сводит с ума аромат духов твой ♪
- 00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:19,560 Оооой-ёёёёй, вот она, моя Эми.
- 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:25,640 - ♪ От страстных глаз я взор не отведу ♪ - Она чувствует мою любовь! Оооой-ёёёй!
- 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,610 Ого! Какая мощная у тебя любовь.
- 00:13:29,870 --> 00:13:31,510 Кажись, она ещё кое-что чувствует.
- 00:13:31,530 --> 00:13:35,750 Частный сыщик Хищник? Я тебя нанимал вовсе не для этого!
- 00:13:35,860 --> 00:13:39,740 Так, так, это ты всё устроил, Гул'карна?
- 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,880 Ты это устроил? Ты это устроил?
- 00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:46,440 Попозже снимем с него маскировку.
- 00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:48,580 Сейчас. Сейчас. Сейчас.
- 00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:51,750 Если честно, Сранчик, всё могло бы быть хуже.
- 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,210 Сранчик?
- 00:13:53,870 --> 00:13:55,500 Ооой-ёёёёй! Валим!
- 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:56,920 Бежим!
- 00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:01,860 Я слишком бухой, чтобы убегать от Хищника.
- 00:14:01,890 --> 00:14:04,550 Грязь. Обмажьтесь грязью, она вас спрячет.
- 00:14:06,050 --> 00:14:08,720 Что за запах? Сквончи, это не грязь.
- 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,250 Я ж не с этой планеты.
- 00:14:10,270 --> 00:14:11,730 Папочка, в чём дело?
- 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,880 Тихо, Жопчик младший. Я заберу тебя домой.
- 00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:17,200 Я не был уверен, что смогу...
- 00:14:17,220 --> 00:14:18,040 Быть честным?
- 00:14:18,140 --> 00:14:19,090 Не читай мне мораль.
- 00:14:19,110 --> 00:14:21,910 Ты также кривил душой, когда якобы не понимал, что засиделся в гостях.
- 00:14:21,930 --> 00:14:23,490 Ты мог просто сказать.
- 00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:25,580 Ты взрослый человек. Сам бы мог допереть.
- 00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:47,680 Признаю, тут я сам виноват.
- 00:14:49,660 --> 00:14:52,650 Спрячьтесь за мной! Я ничего не чувствую!
- 00:14:55,370 --> 00:14:56,990 Как тебе такой сквонч?
- 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,500 Блин, я... я просто в полный сквонч.
- 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:11,080 На самом деле, я не с ними. Я просто прогуливался по парку...
- 00:15:12,950 --> 00:15:14,370 Нет!
- 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,390 Почему опять-то?
- 00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:19,180 Нет! Я не позволю тебе отобрать у меня семью!
- 00:15:28,740 --> 00:15:31,830 Кажись ты не смотрел третью серию четвёртого сезона.
- 00:15:31,850 --> 00:15:32,850 Попляшем!
- 00:15:33,650 --> 00:15:35,100 Ай, блядь!
- 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,370 И у кого теперь три точки на лбу?
- 00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:41,480 Мог бы не дать ему ударить меня.
- 00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:45,710 Пососи мой сквонч.
- 00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:52,430 Отдавай свой зуб.
- 00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:54,450 Гул'карна...
- 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,080 Нет! Нет, стойте!
- 00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:03,910 Ты чё творишь? Мне нужен его череп.
- 00:16:03,950 --> 00:16:07,540 Нет, Рик, хватит. Я во всём виноват. Во всём.
- 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,190 И если он будет защищать мою жену и ребёнка,
- 00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:13,260 то мне будет спокойнее наводить порядок в голове.
- 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:14,220 Уэйн?
- 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:14,910 Уэйн?
- 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,050 Эми.
- 00:16:16,070 --> 00:16:18,290 Я облажался по полной.
- 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,530 Я собирался сказать, что не знаю, как жить без тебя, но...
- 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,140 Начинать с похищений было плохой идеей.
- 00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:26,970 Это была определённо плохая идея.
- 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:33,180 Мне... очень жаль, Эми.
- 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:37,030 И правильно. Но мне не жаль, ведь мы теперь семья.
- 00:16:37,050 --> 00:16:42,130 Я, Жопчик младший и Гул'карна, вождь клана шкуросдирателей.
- 00:16:42,540 --> 00:16:43,670 Пока, Уэйн.
- 00:16:44,210 --> 00:16:45,170 Пока.
- 00:16:47,030 --> 00:16:48,450 Оооой-ёёёй, мушкет?
- 00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:50,540 Кажись, это у них валюта такая.
- 00:16:50,930 --> 00:16:54,960 Я охочусь, потому что должен. Но люди обладают ценным даром...
- 00:16:55,270 --> 00:16:56,520 Они способны меняться.
- 00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:59,100 А может лучше сменить пластинку, сука?
- 00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:00,270 Какого хера?
- 00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:02,420 Господи, Хью, мы ж всё порешали.
- 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,310 Ну, я актёр, да ещё и под кайфом.
- 00:17:04,710 --> 00:17:07,920 “Карибская Королева, автор - Хью Джекман, возраст шестнадцать лет.”
- 00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,270 Как тебе такой поворот?
- 00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:10,780 Сбивает с толку.
- 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,530 Иногда надо просто верить.
- 00:17:12,530 --> 00:17:15,830 Ого, пробирает до глубины души. Я даже задумался, как бы...
- 00:17:15,830 --> 00:17:17,560 Убирайтесь к чёрту!
- 00:17:17,580 --> 00:17:18,940 Ладно, прости.
- 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:23,800 Мужики, поехали за тако, только ни слова моему диетологу, а ещё придётся угнать тачку.
- 00:17:25,860 --> 00:17:26,860 Уэйн, значит?
- 00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:32,100 Оооой-ёёёёй. Но мистер Жопосранчик мне больше по душе. Более утончённо.
- 00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:37,820 Судя по всему, Птичья Дочь пробралась в очередной лагерь Федерации.
- 00:17:37,930 --> 00:17:41,780 Мне пора. Уэйн, будем считать, что я посетил твой настоящий день рождения.
- 00:17:42,190 --> 00:17:44,630 Рик. Это была каноничная встреча.
- 00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:48,640 Пора по домам. Хочу отрубиться, пока не вспомнил, что мы сегодня творили.
- 00:17:48,940 --> 00:17:52,640 Я не хочу забывать об этом, но и повторять тоже.
- 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,170 Горжусь тобой, дружище.
- 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,410 И тобой, Сквонч.
- 00:17:56,830 --> 00:18:00,970 Бля, вы гляньте на нас. Пернатый мужик, говорящий кот,
- 00:18:01,310 --> 00:18:03,850 А ты кто? Какой-то робот и мутант.
- 00:18:03,870 --> 00:18:07,270 Да уж. Чумачечий вечерок, друзья. Войдёт в историю.
- 00:18:07,590 --> 00:18:09,860 Уууу, чумачечий - не то слово.
- 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,390 Я общался с ребятами много лет.
- 00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:14,830 По возможности... в таком-то бешеном ритме жизни.
- 00:18:15,140 --> 00:18:19,870 Птичья Личность отправился домой и бросил себе вызов потяжелее Хищника...
- 00:18:19,930 --> 00:18:21,640 воспитание Птичьей Дочери.
- 00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:26,170 Шестерня отправился в Систему Шестерёнок на замену позвоночника.
- 00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:27,970 До сих пор выплачивает.
- 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:31,660 Сквончи? Он нашёл себе неплохой вытрезвитель.
- 00:18:31,850 --> 00:18:34,430 Никто не думал, что ему это поможет. И не помогло.
- 00:18:34,490 --> 00:18:38,210 В итоге его арестовали за незаконный провоз жабьего яда через границу.
- 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:43,170 Хью Джекман вернулся в своё Джилище, чтобы склеить премию Тони, которую разбил Джин.
- 00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:47,220 Возможно, он покончит со всеми будущими отсылками к Росомахе.
- 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:48,290 Благодаря нам.
- 00:18:48,290 --> 00:18:51,860 Что же стало с Риком? Думаю, в тот вечер он кое-что осознал.
- 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,580 Что-то про дружбу. Про честность.
- 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:58,170 Возможно, он узнал что-то новое о себе.
- 00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:02,850 Держи. Забыл дать тебе таблетку исчезновения. От похмелья самое то!
- 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:08,110 Чтоб ты знал, я выпил таблетку появления, чтобы нейтрализовать эффект таблетки исчезновения.
- 00:19:08,450 --> 00:19:10,410 Ооуу, ну ладно.
- 00:19:10,430 --> 00:19:12,270 Если тебя смутило исчезновение такси,
- 00:19:12,290 --> 00:19:15,260 то таблетки не разумны, но фиксируют всякого рода одежду на человеке.
- 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:18,200 Таблетка приняла такси за огромную куртку.
- 00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:21,310 Не важно. Ты как? В поряде?
- 00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:22,780 Есть, где упасть?
- 00:19:23,270 --> 00:19:25,240 Напечатать тебе квартиру на луне на 3Д-принтере?
- 00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:27,640 Да я разберусь, Рик. Спасибо.
- 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,910 Что ж, ещё одну таблеточку.
- 00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:36,370 Да. Вы уж не волнуйтесь за мистера Жопосранчика.
- 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:40,230 Предстоит много работы, но я встану на свои маленькие жопные ножки.
- 00:19:40,260 --> 00:19:41,650 Как и всегда.
- 00:19:42,450 --> 00:19:46,350 Ай! Как сильно жжётся! Почему остальным было пофигу?
- 00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:49,920 У меня другая таблетка? Вся кожа горит!
- 00:19:50,610 --> 00:19:53,170 Народ, я взял набор буррито для лучших друзей.
- 00:19:53,190 --> 00:19:56,990 Обычно они просят доказать дружбу, но кассир поверил, что вы ждали меня...
- 00:19:58,700 --> 00:19:59,620 ...здесь.
- 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,420 Не круто, чувак.
- 00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:45,200 Шериф, вы не обязаны это делать. У вас же последний рабочий день.
- 00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:49,290 Потому-то и обязан. Я не уйду на пенсию трусом.
- 00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:51,110 Уходи отсюда, офицер.
- 00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:53,380 И позаботься о моей внучке.
- 00:21:26,790 --> 00:21:30,210 ♪ Когда я был в расцвете сил, ♪
- 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,600 ♪ забот не знал мой дух ♪
- 00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:35,290 Я тебя не боюсь!
- 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,620 ♪ Пока я в Донеголе жил, ♪
- 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:44,180 ♪ Мечтал пройти суровые моря, ♪
- 00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:49,590 ♪ чтобы в Америку... ♪
- 00:21:53,820 --> 00:21:56,340 Рекорд Гиннесса. Самому суеверному человеку.
- 00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:02,450 Что случилось?
- 00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:04,710 Кажись, бензин кончился.
- 00:22:06,410 --> 00:22:09,240 То есть, он бы выжил, если бы отошёл назад на полтора метра.
- 00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:13,440 Мда. Лучше не говорить об этом его внучке.
- 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,215 [ Sighs ] Any clue when our houseguest
- 00:00:07,215 --> 00:00:08,425 is finally gonna leave?
- 00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:09,926 It'd be nice to have the living room back.
- 00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:11,261 I keep tripping on all his top hats.
- 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,054 He's always messing with my TiVo!
- 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,265 It's an antique, the buttons are fragile!
- 00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,308 Big surprise that Dad's avoiding all this.
- 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,102 Guys, he's a family friend.
- 00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:20,478 He can stay as long as he needs.
- 00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:22,605 Hey, so I just sold some drugs
- 00:00:22,605 --> 00:00:24,190 to the weird little dude in there.
- 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:25,358 He said you had cash?
- 00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:27,110 Oh, you kids in school?
- 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:28,820 You having trouble focusing? Okay, that's it!
- 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,113 Morty, find your grandfather while I go
- 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,364 talk to our houseguest.
- 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:32,615 Jerry, pay the dealer.
- 00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:34,743 Yeah, I prefer the term "pharmacist."
- 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,619 So do they!
- 00:00:36,619 --> 00:00:37,829 Any chance you have--
- 00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:41,332 Sorry, I left my wallet in space.
- 00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:42,959 Are you leaving to get it?
- 00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:44,377 [ Door closes ]
- 00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,504 Mr. Poopybutthole, this has gone far enough.
- 00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:49,257 We have been really cool to you in your time of need.
- 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:51,926 [ Gulping ] I agree, Beth.
- 00:00:51,926 --> 00:00:54,429 I'm a pieeeece of garbage.
- 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:55,680 Can you boost me up
- 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:58,016 so I can hook my belt to the ceiling faaaaan?
- 00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,684 We don't have a ceiling fan.
- 00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:02,645 Oo weee, is that why it's so hooot?
- 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:05,482 They're not expensivvve. [ Sighs ]
- 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:08,693 Bet you didn't expect to see me in a cold open, huh?
- 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:11,988 Looks like I've taken another turn for the worse.
- 00:01:11,988 --> 00:01:14,115 It all started when Beth shot me.
- 00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:16,409 I said I was sorry! I know...
- 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,369 It tore you up inside...
- 00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:20,955 Like a bullet. It was an accident!
- 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:25,001 Anyway, then I got fired from my joooob, my wife left me,
- 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:28,505 I broke both my leeegs, failed the bar exam.
- 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:31,132 Ooo wee, things went downhill from there.
- 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:34,219 So I've been crashing with the Smiths for a while.
- 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,262 Ooo wee, I'm Mr. Pooooopybutthole
- 00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:39,599 and this is "Rick and Morty" Seeeeason 7.
- 00:01:39,599 --> 00:02:09,963 {\an8}♪
- 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,800 [ Computer beeping ]
- 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,010 {\an8}Hey, buddy. B-brought you a coffee.
- 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:17,387 {\an8}I can synthesize coffee.
- 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:18,972 {\an8}You don't need to make excuses to come see me--
- 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,558 {\an8}Yeah, I knew you'd say that, so I didn't even bring a cup.
- 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,143 {\an8}Any progress?
- 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,103 {\an8}Yes, Morty, I found the version of me that killed my wife.
- 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,729 {\an8}You just missed it. Okay, I get it.
- 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:29,190 {\an8}I had a big sword fight with him on top of Hoover Dam.
- 00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,150 {\an8}He fell and landed on a sharp spike,
- 00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,819 {\an8}and then whispered, "Thank you," like a werewolf.
- 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,362 {\an8}I was asking to be polite.
- 00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:36,906 {\an8}The family wants you upstairs to deal with Mr. Poopybutthole.
- 00:02:36,906 --> 00:02:38,575 {\an8}It's finally time, huh?
- 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:41,244 {\an8}Well, lucky for you guys, I know how to make someone leave.
- 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:44,080 {\an8}Family, I present to you, Robo-Ghost.
- 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,999 {\an8}Rick! Your plan is to scare him away?
- 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,750 {\an8}Avoidance much? I'm listening.
- 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,502 {\an8}AI voice: <i>Assembling body.</i>
- 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:52,213 [ Whirring ]
- 00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:54,716 [ Beeps ] <i>Activating sentience.</i>
- 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:55,842 [ Groans ]
- 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:58,428 {\an8}<i>Uploading business.</i>
- 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,432 [ Screams ] <i>Unfinished business detected.</i>
- 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,017 <i>Terminating body.</i>
- 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,810 [ Grunts ]
- 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,605 {\an8}[ Groans ]
- 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,148 {\an8}[ Shouts ]
- 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:13,276 {\an8}Okay. I need to make gravity part of its <i>finished</i> business
- 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,194 {\an8}and leave floors <i>unfinished.</i>
- 00:03:15,194 --> 00:03:16,404 {\an8}Starting over.
- 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:17,864 {\an8}Dad, you can't keep putting this off.
- 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,115 {\an8}You're doing an intervention with us.
- 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,283 {\an8}Nope. Then we're sticking
- 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:21,659 {\an8}Poopybutthole downstairs with you.
- 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:22,952 {\an8}What is this?
- 00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:24,454 {\an8}I-Is this an intervention of me not intervening?
- 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,164 {\an8}Y-You know this can't make the concept work,
- 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,707 {\an8}not comedically or clinically.
- 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,459 {\an8}Its success rate is 10% in both areas.
- 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,252 {\an8}Then you have to help him on your own.
- 00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:33,046 {\an8}And not with a ghost.
- 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,631 {\an8}[ Screaming ]
- 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,257 {\an8}Oo, that-- that's interesting.
- 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,092 {\an8}You kind of gave him a little power by mentioning him.
- 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:41,721 {\an8}There's a lot of science to unpack about ghosts--
- 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:44,307 {\an8}[ Sighs ] After I talk to my friend.
- 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:45,850 {\an8}Jerry: He's in the living room, Rick.
- 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,602 {\an8}I'm not doing this by myself!
- 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,354 {\an8}Oh, so you're going to have an intervention?
- 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,897 {\an8}No. I'm going to get some friends
- 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,607 {\an8}to help me talk to a friend, and you'd know the difference
- 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,442 {\an8}if you weren't stupid and had friends.
- 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:55,902 {\an8}You're mean! Dad!
- 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,278 {\an8}Pick your battles, honey. Ha ha!
- 00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:59,322 Yeah, fuck you, Summer.
- 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,115 God damn it. Your portal closed.
- 00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:02,492 Oh, did it?
- 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,202 Have an intervention, or we'll intervention you,
- 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,079 you bunch of stupids.
- 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,664 [ Doorbell ringing repeatedly, knocking on door ]
- 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,166 Gearhead! Buddy! Listen.
- 00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:11,960 We gotta help Mr. Poopybutthole.
- 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,169 He's in a bad place.
- 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:14,837 Well, that sounds like an intervention,
- 00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:17,173 which Gearhead no Likehead.
- 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:19,300 It's not an intervention. And you owe me.
- 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,719 Okay, fine, but now I need a drink.
- 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:23,554 Make it to go and make it two.
- 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,391 Rick, you son of a squanch!
- 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,518 Squanch! Told you he wasn't dead.
- 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,852 We squanching?
- 00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:31,396 A little. We need to have a hang with Poopybutthole
- 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,564 and talk to him about-- His drinking.
- 00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:35,566 Us? Not without a squanch.
- 00:04:35,566 --> 00:04:38,027 I'd love one if you're pouring. Make it three.
- 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:41,364 You left a Gromflomite femur in the compost.
- 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,616 Your human side is passionate but careless.
- 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,119 I also found your Federation hit list--
- 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,787 Ugh! Don't go through my stuff!
- 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,706 This place is worse than prison.
- 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:50,832 [ Door slams ]
- 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,042 [ <i>Heavy metal music plays]</i>
- 00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:54,627 [ Doorbell rings ]
- 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:57,046 Rick. BP!
- 00:04:57,046 --> 00:04:58,548 It's been a minute.
- 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,050 Is... someone here? Birddaughter.
- 00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,468 You found her. Yes.
- 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:05,346 She was imprisoned in a femme fatale training camp.
- 00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:06,723 That's great!
- 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,474 L-Let's go celebrate with our closest friends
- 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:12,270 by encouraging Poopybutthole to dial back his drinking!
- 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,273 Suspect. But I find fatherhood exhausting
- 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,524 and would like to show my daughter
- 00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,192 what real selfishness looks like.
- 00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:21,404 Perfect! Now, do we know anyone sober?
- 00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:25,241 Have you been drinking? On a Thursday?
- 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,492 He seems ideal.
- 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:28,578 Waah! So, where to?
- 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,913 A coffee shop? No. He'll know something's up.
- 00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:32,540 Yeah! and I'm not squanching just coffee!
- 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,000 Let's squanch him to a bar!
- 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,626 It would undercut our messaging.
- 00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:37,712 So it <i>is</i> an intervention. No!
- 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,130 We're not asking anybody to stop drinking
- 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:40,757 because we're not hypocrites or squares,
- 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,467 we're just concerned friends.
- 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,636 Then we can at least do it at a place <i>with</i> a bar.
- 00:05:45,636 --> 00:05:48,598 Look, I think if it has food, it's allowed to have a bar.
- 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,100 [ Screams ]
- 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:52,643 [ Thuds ]
- 00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:55,021 Mr. Poopybutthole: Appreciate you guys taking me out.
- 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,439 It's been a rough week.
- 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,734 Amy's taking pilaaaates from a guy named Guy.
- 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:02,570 You've been surveilling your ex-wife?
- 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,614 Oooweeee, not with the restraining order!
- 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,949 I hired a Predator to follow her around.
- 00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:08,659 You can hire [burps] Predators?
- 00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,953 Yeah, they're cheap because they live for the hunt--
- 00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:12,872 you just have to pay 'em to not kill your target,
- 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:15,958 and if they stay cloaked, there's no licensing fee.
- 00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,251 Welcome to Fuck You's!
- 00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:19,504 My name is Mart, and... Fuck you!
- 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:22,924 See, at Fuck You's, we lightly tease our customers.
- 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,092 Oh, this is fun!
- 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,052 What do you know, Gilligan?
- 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,303 [ Chuckles ] Nice!
- 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:28,846 Look at this depressed pencil eraser.
- 00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:31,724 Did some middle schooler stick you up a cat's asshole?
- 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,643 I bet you had everything and you watched it
- 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,812 slip through your powerless little fingers
- 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,313 like the sands of time.
- 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:38,898 Be right back to take your order, folks,
- 00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,109 or should I say, fucks!
- 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,861 Perhaps this wasn't the best place to do this, Rick.
- 00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,404 What are you talkin' about?
- 00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:48,407 This is a great place to celebrate my birthdaaay!
- 00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:53,037 Birthday-- Birthday--
- 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,956 birthday-- birthday--
- 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,499 Your birthday? Ooo weee.
- 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,751 I can't believe y'all remembered!
- 00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:00,169 I was at the end of my rope,
- 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:03,381 thinking I'd worn out aaall my welcomeees.
- 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:05,633 Thanks for doing all this, Riiick!
- 00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:07,260 O- of course, Mr. PB.
- 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,386 What are friends for?
- 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:10,012 Heard we got a birthday boy?!
- 00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:11,681 Yeeeah, but please don't sing or--
- 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:12,723 Yah!
- 00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:14,058 Fuck you, shithead!
- 00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,435 Haha, yeah.
- 00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:18,354 That sure is a smart hat...
- 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:21,482 Because even my son Poopy Jr. hates me!
- 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:22,692 [ Crying ] Ooooweehehehe!
- 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,068 I can relate.
- 00:07:24,068 --> 00:07:26,070 Birddaughter is a total bitch.
- 00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:27,822 If you're a parent, you can say that.
- 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,198 Weeeell.
- 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:31,826 Should we do shooots?
- 00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:33,578 Rick?
- 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,371 Let's get riggity-riggity-wrecked!
- 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:37,248 [ All cheer ] ♪ I-I-I take a shot ♪
- 00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:39,041 ♪ Do a pop, blow a line, huff turpentine ♪
- 00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:41,794 ♪ Get wrecked, text your ex, fight a cop, feeling fine ♪
- 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,045 ♪ Punch your dick, turn some tricks ♪
- 00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,338 ♪ Quit your job, buy a dog ♪
- 00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:45,715 ♪ Have two beers, then ten more ♪
- 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,300 ♪ Pop a pill and meet the floor ♪
- 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,011 {\an8}♪
- 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:52,722 [ Slurps ] That one's not my bellybutton.
- 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,223 Well, what is it?
- 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:57,560 {\an8}♪
- 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,729 [ Screaming ]
- 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:00,897 {\an8}♪
- 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,148 Oo weee!
- 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,357 [ Laughter ]
- 00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:04,400 Whoa!
- 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,903 - Whoo-hoo! - Hold on, everyone!
- 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:07,945 Whoa! Ah!
- 00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:09,947 - Oh, God! - Oh, woah!
- 00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:12,533 I can't breathe! I can't breathe!
- 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:13,576 Is there a restroom?!
- 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:14,785 At the front.
- 00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:16,120 [ Grunts ]
- 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,581 Mr. Poopybutthole: Oh, it was a bad idea! Oooo weee!
- 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,416 - Yeah, ha ha! - Oh, man!
- 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,584 [ Brakes hiss ]
- 00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:22,919 [ All groaning ]
- 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,253 Oooo weee!
- 00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:26,214 [ <i>Dance music plays]</i> [ Laughter ]
- 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:28,758 Whoo! Aah!
- 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,052 Oh, shit, it's happening!
- 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,262 Honey rave!
- 00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:35,264 Bee time, baby!
- 00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:37,183 Whoa, what world is this?
- 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,060 We're on Earth. How do you know?
- 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,229 Because I think that is Hugh Jackman.
- 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:44,315 [ Music continues in slow-motion ]
- 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:45,358 Oh, shit, it is.
- 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,776 Hey, Jackman!
- 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:49,445 Makes sense he recognizes me. We both hosted the Oscars.
- 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,780 It's a pretty exclusive club.
- 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,531 Listen, guys, don't make this tacky.
- 00:08:52,531 --> 00:08:54,617 Nobody call him "Wolverine." Just treat him like a regular--
- 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,535 Gene! Small world, mate!
- 00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:58,788 Hugh! Hugh married my cousin.
- 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:01,874 Which I guess makes him a Wolver-ine-law.
- 00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:04,752 Ha ha! That is fantastic!
- 00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,045 Hey, didn't you host the Oscars?
- 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,964 Yeah, I, uh-- Alright, alright, listen.
- 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,507 Now, I'm not assuming you guys want to party
- 00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:10,841 with me tonight, but if you do--
- 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:12,260 Yes we do. Ooo wee!
- 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,761 I wanna party with Hugh Jackman. Squanch yeah!
- 00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:16,472 If you do, you do it together, as a team.
- 00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:19,183 Now, I need to go take what I call a "Huge Ackman."
- 00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:21,018 Ackman is Australian slang for shit.
- 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:22,979 Don't look it up. Do make a decision.
- 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:26,023 Because from here, I'm heading to the Jack Shack.
- 00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:28,526 What's the Jack Shack? It's just his house.
- 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,695 But, guys, I don't think we should go there.
- 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,488 I challenge you to explain why not
- 00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,365 without making us want to go more.
- 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:37,159 Well, Hugh's pretty anti-limitation.
- 00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:39,996 When he parties, it gets extreme.
- 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,289 Challenge failed.
- 00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:43,207 Woah! What's extreme by the Gene metric?
- 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:44,834 Does he have "Les Mis" shot glasses?
- 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,586 We're not exactly squanchweights, brother.
- 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:50,589 It's my birthday, and I wish to party with Huuugh Jackman.
- 00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:52,216 ♪ Then you shaaaaaalllllllll! ♪
- 00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,676 That was a fast shit.
- 00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:54,760 But first everybody's taking these.
- 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:56,095 What are they?
- 00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:58,472 Huh, maybe they're Tic Tacs. Maybe they're cyanide.
- 00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,308 [ Chuckling ] Maybe I don't like to party
- 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,809 with people that hesitate.
- 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,602 Heh heh heh! There you go!
- 00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:04,729 That's the spirit!
- 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,897 Now we're all completely...
- 00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:09,859 ♪ Fuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh! ♪
- 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,403 [ Chanting in harmony ]
- 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,655 This was not oversold!
- 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:18,284 "A, B, D, E"-- I lost my "C."
- 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,869 My alphabet has no "C"!
- 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:20,870 Did I do these already?
- 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,080 D-Did I ask that already?
- 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,291 Squanch, yeah! My turn!
- 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,044 Did I win?
- 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,253 {\an8}♪
- 00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:30,546 Mm. [ Sniffles ] Mm.
- 00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,715 Ahhh... The best bloody day of my life.
- 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,884 My wedding was pretty great, too.
- 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,886 I was talking about the Tony award.
- 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:38,763 Yooohoho! Pull!
- 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:39,889 - Yeah! - Woo-hoo!
- 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,390 Yeah! We're squanching now!
- 00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:42,725 {\an8}Why the long face, mate?
- 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,018 {\an8}Shape of my skull.
- 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:45,644 You know, Mr. Poopybutthole,
- 00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:48,189 when I wrote "Caribbean Queen," you know what my agent said?
- 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:50,107 Billy Ocean wrote that-- That's what he said.
- 00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,901 Exactly that. "Billy Ocean wrote this.
- 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,444 Don't write it again. You're not Billy Ocean."
- 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:55,905 You know what I did? I fired my agent.
- 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:59,325 Don't accept other people's limitations.
- 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:02,578 What does your heart want, lil' ripper?
- 00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:03,829 Right now, don't think.
- 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:06,957 Right now, my heart wants Amy back.
- 00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,876 Everybody! Our friend wants Amy back.
- 00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:10,086 Squanch idea!
- 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,088 I will agree to anything in this state.
- 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,256 I do not think that's a good idea.
- 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:17,051 Ladies and gentlemen! This man is a fake friend!
- 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:18,344 Come on, Hugh.
- 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,763 "Come on, Hugh. Come on, everybody.
- 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,098 Don't call Hugh Jackman Wolverine.
- 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,766 Don't call yourself Billy Ocean.
- 00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,101 Don't get Amy Back."
- 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:27,019 You're a vampire, brother.
- 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,604 You feed off other people's energy.
- 00:11:28,604 --> 00:11:30,856 That is kind of true. Are you kidding me?!
- 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,858 You've been living on my daughter's sofa for months!
- 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,194 Do you want me to leave? The entire family does!
- 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:38,447 Why not say something? Because you're my friend!
- 00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:41,659 A real friend would have known it's <i>not</i> my birthday.
- 00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:43,828 [ Laughing ] Oooooooooh, shit!
- 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:44,995 Fake friend!
- 00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:46,789 You're not helping, Hugh Jackman!
- 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,875 <i>Yoooooou</i> do not tell <i>meeeeee</i> what to do!
- 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:50,960 Or anyone here. Affirmative.
- 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,211 - Woo! - Yeah, baby!
- 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:53,921 Why would you pretend it was your birthday?!
- 00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:56,132 You think I don't know a half-assed intervention
- 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,842 when I see one coming?!
- 00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,885 Oooooooooooooh, shit! Mm!
- 00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:01,137 I love where you are, man.
- 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,221 You're just Wolverining right now.
- 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,472 You-- You feel that?
- 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:04,557 I think so.
- 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,267 Does Wolverining hurt a little?
- 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:07,518 Together: Every time!
- 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,270 Alright, grab a drink to go, gentlemen.
- 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,188 Because we're either getting Amy back...
- 00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:12,606 or... we're going home.
- 00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:13,649 You're nuts!
- 00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,317 Then nut me up, bitch!
- 00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:17,027 Nut me up!
- 00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:18,696 Together: [ Chanting ] Nut me up! Nut me up!
- 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:19,822 It's not an expression!
- 00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,157 - Woo! - Ha ha!
- 00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,825 Amy's coming back dead or alive!
- 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:24,243 Woah! Haha!
- 00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,328 - Yes! - Yeah!
- 00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:29,290 Fake friend, my ass. I know how to be there for my friends.
- 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,417 {\an8}[ Groaning ]
- 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,043 Father?! Why?!
- 00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,503 Ah, crap. Hang on.
- 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:35,796 Lemme go upstairs and grab the business finisher.
- 00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,339 From where I'm sitting,
- 00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:39,842 you're the one with unfinished business.
- 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,719 Hey, mind your own business.
- 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,679 Business <i>is</i> my business!
- 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:47,683 And, brother, business is good.
- 00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,727 [ Sighs ]
- 00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,979 [ Insects chirping ]
- 00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:54,899 Oh, you come back to ruin our fuuun?
- 00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,525 No. To help you finish this.
- 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:57,860 I made you guys come out
- 00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:59,987 because I didn't want to talk to PB alone.
- 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:02,323 I'm here to go down with the ship. Respect, Rick.
- 00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:04,200 Gene: Hit it, Hugh! [ <i>Instrumental cover of "Caribbean Queen" plays]</i>
- 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:08,871 ♪ I lose my cool when she steps in the room ♪
- 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,789 {\an8}♪
- 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,416 ♪ Unh, unh ♪
- 00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:16,337 ♪ And I get so excited just from her perfume ♪
- 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:19,381 Oo weee, there she is. My Amy!
- 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,050 {\an8}♪
- 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,968 Hugh: ♪ Electric eyes that you can't ignore ♪
- 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,054 Oh, she feels my love around her! Oowee!
- 00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,598 Wow. Your love is pretty strong.
- 00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:28,849 {\an8}♪
- 00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,726 I guess that's not all she's feeling.
- 00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:32,561 ♪ And passion burns you like never before ♪ Predator P.I.?
- 00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:35,314 This is the opposite of what I hired you for!
- 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:38,984 Now, now. Did you do this, Gul'Karna?
- 00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:42,238 ♪ I was in search of a good time ♪ <i>You do this? You do this?</i>
- 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,948 ♪ Just running my game ♪
- 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,825 I'm gonna uncloak this later... <i>Now. Now. Now.</i>
- 00:13:46,825 --> 00:13:49,286 ♪ Love was the furthest, furthest from my mind, yeah ♪
- 00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:51,705 Okay, honestly, PB, that could have gone a lot worse--
- 00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,207 PB?
- 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:55,376 ♪ Caribbean Queen ♪ Ooooweeee, gotta goooo!
- 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:56,710 Run!
- 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:58,754 [ Growls ]
- 00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:01,590 I'm too drunk to flee a Predator right now!
- 00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:04,385 Mud! The-- The mud thing! Everyone mud up and hide!
- 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,636 {\an8}♪
- 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:06,762 What's that smell?
- 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,472 Ugh, Squanchy! That's not mud.
- 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:09,848 Well, I'm not from this planet!
- 00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:11,433 Daddy, what's happening?
- 00:14:11,433 --> 00:14:13,394 Quiet, Poopy Jr.! I'm taking you home!
- 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:14,937 Aah!
- 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,564 Look, I just didn't think I could--
- 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:17,690 What? Be honest?
- 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,857 Don't high-road me!
- 00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:20,109 It's just as dishonest to play dumb
- 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,443 about wearing out your welcome!
- 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,028 You could've just told me!
- 00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:25,322 You're an adult! Read the room and figure it out!
- 00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:40,629 {\an8}♪
- 00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,298 [ Tab pops ]
- 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,967 [ Roars ]
- 00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:47,761 I admit it-- that-- that was self destructive.
- 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:49,305 {\an8}♪
- 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,849 Use me as a shield! I feel nothing!
- 00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:53,475 Ca-cawwww!
- 00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:55,102 [ Both scream ]
- 00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:56,937 Squanch this!
- 00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:58,480 [ Grunts ]
- 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:02,234 [ Groans ] I'm so--
- 00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:04,153 I'm so squanched up, man.
- 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,362 [ Growls ]
- 00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:06,530 [ Grunts ]
- 00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:08,657 I-I'm not really with these guys.
- 00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,618 I was just walking in this park--
- 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,786 Aagh!
- 00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:13,996 No!
- 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:16,123 [ Garbled ] Why is this my thing?!
- 00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,626 No! I won't let you take my family from me!
- 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,502 [ Grunting ]
- 00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:26,050 Ow! Oh, ohhhhhhh!
- 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,177 [ Roars ]
- 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:31,347 Guess you didn't see season 4, episode 3!
- 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:32,348 Let's go--
- 00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,683 Oh! Oh! Ohh! Fuck!
- 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,769 [ Snarls ] Oh!
- 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,021 Who's got the three dots on their forehead now?
- 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,190 Could have done that before he punched me.
- 00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:43,734 [ Growls ]
- 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:45,986 Suck my squanch! [ Snarls ]
- 00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:47,112 Ahhh!
- 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:48,280 [ Groans ]
- 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,574 [ All grunting ]
- 00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:51,909 Gimme that big ol' tooth!
- 00:15:51,909 --> 00:15:53,786 Gullll'Karrrna...
- 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:57,498 [ Groaning ]
- 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,708 [ Screeching ]
- 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:01,585 No, no, no, stop!
- 00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,629 What are you doing? I want that skull!
- 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,297 No, Rick. No more.
- 00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,091 This is my fault. All of it.
- 00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,885 And if he's gonna protect my wife and chiiild,
- 00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,888 that's a great thing to know while I get my shit together.
- 00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:13,972 Amy: Wayne?
- 00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:15,516 Wayne? Aaaamy.
- 00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,018 I-I messed up real baaad.
- 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,729 I came to say I don't know what to do without you,
- 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:23,732 but I guess I can start by not kidnapping.
- 00:16:23,732 --> 00:16:26,777 That's definitely where you should start.
- 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,987 [ Growls softly ]
- 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,825 I'm... sorry, Amy.
- 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,952 You should be. But I'm not.
- 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:39,581 We're a family now-- Me, Poopy Jr., and Gul'Karna,
- 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:42,000 Clan Leader of The Skin-Thieves.
- 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,752 Goodbye, Wayne.
- 00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:44,878 Goodbye.
- 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,090 Ooo-weee, a musket?
- 00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,300 I'm starting to think it's like their currency.
- 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,386 <i>I hunt because I must.</i>
- 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:56,265 <i>But man possesses a precious gift-- the power to change.</i>
- 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,851 More like the power of music, bitch!
- 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,227 What the fuck?!
- 00:17:00,227 --> 00:17:02,104 Jesus, Hugh, we were just resolving it.
- 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,981 Well, I'm an actor, and I'm high.
- 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,233 "'Caribbean Queen,' written by Hugh Jackman,
- 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:07,359 age sixteen."
- 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,278 How's that for a twist?
- 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,529 Confusing.
- 00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,364 Well, sometimes you have to believe.
- 00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:14,491 Wow, that's reeeal inspiring.
- 00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:15,826 Makes me think of how--
- 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,495 Get the hell out of here! Okay, okay, sorry!
- 00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:20,539 Alright guys, I'm buying drive-through tacos,
- 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:24,042 but nobody tells my nutritionist and we have to steal a car.
- 00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:25,377 {\an8}♪
- 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:26,545 Rick: "Wayne," huh?
- 00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,047 Oooweee.
- 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,841 But I prefer Mr. Pooooopybutthole.
- 00:17:30,841 --> 00:17:31,967 More refined.
- 00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,635 [ Phone buzzes and caws ]
- 00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:35,471 It appears Birddaughter has broken into
- 00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,264 another Federation compound.
- 00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:38,807 I must go.
- 00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,393 Wayne, this counts as attending your actual birthday.
- 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,271 Rick. It was... canonical to see you.
- 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:45,856 Yeah, let's call it.
- 00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:48,484 I wanna pass out before I remember what we did tonight.
- 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,402 I never want to forget it.
- 00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:52,446 And I never want to repeat it.
- 00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,198 Proud of you, little buddy.
- 00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:56,325 {\an8}You too, Squanch.
- 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,494 Awww, fuck! Look at us!
- 00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:01,497 A bird guy, talking cat, uh, what are you?
- 00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,582 A robot man, and a mutant.
- 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,709 Wow. Was a bonzer night, mates!
- 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:07,169 That's one for the books.
- 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:09,505 Mr. Poopybutthole: Oooo, bonzer night indeed.
- 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,882 Kept in touch with the guys over the years.
- 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,676 As much as ya can in this fast world.
- 00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:17,054 Birdperson went home to take on a challenge
- 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,515 way more difficult than a Predator--
- 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,600 raising Birddaughter.
- 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,519 Gearhead went back to The Gear System
- 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,938 and got a spinal replacement.
- 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,856 He's still paying it off.
- 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,066 Squanchy?
- 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,443 Checked himself into a nice rehab.
- 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:33,862 No one thought it would stick, and it didn't.
- 00:18:33,862 --> 00:18:36,365 He was later arrested for smuggling toad venom
- 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,950 across the border.
- 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,701 Hugh Jackman went to the Jack Shack
- 00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:42,704 to glue back together the Tony award that Gene shot.
- 00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:44,456 And possibly to put a bullet
- 00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,875 in all future Wolverine references.
- 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,168 Thanks to us.
- 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,503 And what came of Rick?
- 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:51,421 I think he learned something that night.
- 00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:53,006 About friendship.
- 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:54,633 About honesty.
- 00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:58,220 And maybe he learned something about himseelllf.
- 00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,931 Oh. Here. Forgot to give you a fading pill.
- 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,392 Great for hangovers. Just to clarify,
- 00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,352 I-I had to take an un-fading pill
- 00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:08,146 to counteract the original fading pill I just took.
- 00:19:08,146 --> 00:19:09,857 Oh. Uh. Okay?
- 00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,608 And if you're hung up on why the taxi disappeared,
- 00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:12,985 the-- the pills aren't sentient,
- 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,611 but they do detect human coverings,
- 00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:18,073 so it saw the taxi as some sort of large overcoat--
- 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:19,199 doesn't matter.
- 00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,410 You, uh, gonna be alright?
- 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,911 Got a place to stay?
- 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,830 I can 3D print you an apartment on the moon.
- 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,499 I'll figure it out, Rick. Thanks.
- 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:31,128 Well, here I go pill'in again.
- 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:36,466 Yep. Don't any of you worry about Mr. Pooooopybutthole.
- 00:19:36,466 --> 00:19:37,801 I got a lot of work to do,
- 00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:39,887 but I'll land on my poopy little feet.
- 00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:41,805 I always do!
- 00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:44,391 Owww! This burns like hell!
- 00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:46,435 How did the other guys not react?
- 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:47,477 Is mine different?
- 00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:50,022 It's like my skin is boiling!
- 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,733 Guys, I got the Best Buds Burrito Box!
- 00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:54,443 They normally ask for proof of friendship,
- 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:57,029 but the cashier trusted me that you guys were out...
- 00:19:58,405 --> 00:19:59,573 ...heeere.
- 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,659 Not cool, man.
- 00:20:04,202 --> 00:20:05,829 Aah.
- 00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:36,526 {\an8}♪
- 00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:39,321 {\an8}[ Police radio chatter ]
- 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,365 [ Siren wails in distance ]
- 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,325 You don't have to do this, Sheriff!
- 00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,785 It's your last day on the job!
- 00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:47,120 That's exactly why I must.
- 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,289 I ain't retiring a coward.
- 00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:50,999 Now get out of here, Officer.
- 00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:53,877 And go take care of my granddaughter.
- 00:20:53,877 --> 00:21:08,016 {\an8}♪
- 00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,518 [ Gunshot ]
- 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:18,527 {\an8}♪
- 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:19,653 [ Smooches ]
- 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:20,862 {\an8}♪
- 00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:24,950 [ Smooches ]
- 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,243 {\an8}♪
- 00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:29,705 ♪ When I was young and in my prime ♪
- 00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:33,500 ♪ My mind being free from care ♪
- 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,669 I ain't scared of you!
- 00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:39,548 ♪ Whilst leaving all in Donegal ♪
- 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:41,800 ♪ That I might plough ♪
- 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,594 [ Strained ] ♪ The raging main ♪
- 00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:50,434 ♪ Going to Amerikay-- ♪
- 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:56,189 {\an8}♪
- 00:21:56,189 --> 00:21:57,816 [ Whimpers ]
- 00:21:57,816 --> 00:21:59,943 {\an8}♪
- 00:21:59,943 --> 00:22:01,153 [ Mower powers down ]
- 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,612 W-What happened?
- 00:22:02,612 --> 00:22:04,573 I think it ran out of gas.
- 00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:05,991 Oh.
- 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:07,367 Sooo, he could have survived
- 00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:09,828 if he just stood back five feet?
- 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:11,204 Well...
- 00:22:11,204 --> 00:22:13,874 let's not tell his granddaughter that.
- 00:22:15,375 --> 00:22:16,835 Did you get any of that?
- 00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:19,337 {\an8}♪