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Не бойся Сморти
Рик и Морти обнаруживают, что после всего пережитого их больше ничто не может их напугать или удивить. Затем к ним подходит мужчина в костюме и предлагает им поистине ужасающее приключение, приводя их в «Дыру Страха», расположенную в туалете ресторана «Денни». Морти решает встретиться со своими страхами в этой Дыре, и Рик прыгает за ним, чтобы спасти его от монстров внутри. Вернувшись домой после того, как, предположительно, покорили Дыру, Рик и Морти понимают, что они все еще внутри, когда из другой реальности появляется мертвая жена Рика, Диана. Рик сначала решает жить в Дыре Страха с «Дианой», даже когда ее сила начинает медленно убивать его, но, увидев то же самое, что происходит с Морти, когда тот, пытаясь преодолеть свои страхи и выбраться из Дыры, падает ниц, Рик оставляет Диану и сбегает с Морти. Однако каждая их попытка покинуть Дыру Страха терпит неудачу, и они постоянно оказываются в дыре внутри дыры. После нескольких неудачных попыток побега Рик между делом упоминает о своей вере в незаменимость Морти, что заставляет Морти понять, что он разговаривает не с настоящим Риком, и что Рик никогда и не следовал за ним в Дыру Страха. Морти осознает, что его истинный страх — это то, что Рик бросит его, позволив ему наконец победить и сбежать из Дыры Страха. Рик испытывает искушение прыгнуть в нее, услышав, что в Дыре Страха может появиться Диана, но в итоге решает этого не делать, вместо этого оставив фотографию Морти в своем бумажнике в память о покорении Дыры Страха.
«Не бойся Сморти» — десятый и заключительный эпизод седьмого сезона «Рика и Морти». Сценарий написала Хизер Энн Кэмпбелл, а режиссёром выступил Юджин Хуанг. Эпизод получил высокую оценку как от зрителей, так и от независимых изданий.
- 00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:43,001 I'm gonna rip out your spleen and feed it to your husband!
- 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,586 {\an8}Wouldn't want that.
- 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:48,089 {\an8}Morty, we'd better run before it figures out what a husband is.
- 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,842 {\an8}This carnival of nightmares used to be scary, right?
- 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:53,178 - We've seen too much. - It sucks, you know?
- 00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,555 {\an8}Cause it's fun to break off a scare now and then.
- 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:59,267 {\an8}Did I hear you fellas wishing for some good old fashioned scares?
- 00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:01,144 {\an8}I mean, I more wish you wouldn't eavesdrop.
- 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,938 {\an8}Who are you? Does the suit mean you work here,
- 00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:05,565 {\an8}or that you super don't work here?
- 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,318 {\an8}Like yourselves, I'm a connoisseur of fear.
- 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:11,112 {\an8}I'm also originally from Earth. And did you know Earth
- 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,990 {\an8}is the home of the single scariest place in the galaxy?
- 00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:15,575 {\an8}I can show you if you like.
- 00:01:16,117 --> 00:01:17,410 {\an8}We were headed that way anyway.
- 00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:21,414 {\an8}- Take a left. Almost there. - We know where Earth is.
- 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,583 {\an8}For guys like you, you know, who've seen it all
- 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,795 {\an8}there's only a few real fears left to conquer.
- 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:30,215 {\an8}And one of them is right down here.
- 00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:36,137 {\an8}- Okay, what the hell. - This is punching down.
- 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,515 {\an8}Denny's is a nice chain that gives people starchy food
- 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,016 {\an8}- when they're up late. - It's a hack joke, buddy.
- 00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:41,643 {\an8}No, this is the place.
- 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,062 {\an8}Good luck to both of you. I'm gonna get myself a slam.
- 00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:48,233 - He just wanted a ride, right? - He certainly took us for one.
- 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,944 {\an8}As long as we're here...
- 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,738 {\an8}Ok! Lumberjack Slam, Grand Slamwhich,
- 00:01:53,738 --> 00:01:56,032 {\an8}Pancake Puppies, Slamburger, two milkshakes...
- 00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:57,575 {\an8}and an order of Cheddar Tots.
- 00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,744 {\an8}Let me know when you want your check, and if you're here for The Hole,
- 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:01,621 {\an8}- it's in the men's bathroom. - The what now?
- 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,998 {\an8}- Hole? - The Fear Hole. Men's bathroom.
- 00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:17,595 {\an8}Well, it's definitely a hole, they weren't lying about that.
- 00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:19,639 {\an8}Is that hair? Seaweed?
- 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,559 {\an8}Boy, it's really circling the whole rim.
- 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,936 {\an8}Guess you gotta jump in without touching the sides?
- 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,896 {\an8}You think there's spikes on the bottom?
- 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,982 {\an8}I don't think they want you to go in there and just die.
- 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,233 {\an8}What kind of business would that be?
- 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:33,403 {\an8}Well, they're not drowning in money. They still have a built-in TV/VCR.
- 00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:37,073 - It's that carnival guy. - So he gets a kickback.
- 00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:40,410 {\an8}<i>Hi. Welcome to The Hole. Here's how it works: You jump in.</i>
- 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:43,997 {\an8}<i>The Hole manifests your greatest fear. You conquer that fear, and come out,</i>
- 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,041 {\an8}<i>well, fearless. And you get your picture on the wall!</i>
- 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,418 {\an8}<i>What does The Hole get out of it?</i>
- 00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:51,838 {\an8}<i>Well, you know those fish that nibble dead skin off your feet?</i>
- 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:55,758 {\an8}<i>The Hole's kinda like that. It eats fear. You win. It wins.</i>
- 00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,385 {\an8}<i>Have fun, and enjoy the Ho...</i>
- 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,681 {\an8}<i>Hey Gaddafi, cool your jets with a taste of Mountain Dew!</i>
- 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,476 {\an8}This has been here since VHS tapes and there's only three photos?
- 00:03:05,476 --> 00:03:08,396 {\an8}- My tots are getting cold. - So you don't want to do it?
- 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,814 {\an8}- Do you? - I mean...
- 00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:12,066 It says it takes away your greatest fear.
- 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,402 My greatest fear, Morty, is trusting a gross hole
- 00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:17,655 to conquer my fear, and I conquer that fear by walking away.
- 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:18,948 Okay, fine.
- 00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:22,327 You little turd!
- 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:28,583 - Oh God! - <i>Oh God!</i>
- 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,713 <i>Hold still while i stuff you with maggots!</i>
- 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,174 Rick!
- 00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:39,719 Okay! The Hole thinks I'm scared of not having a gun?
- 00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:43,932 Fear conquered!
- 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:49,687 Check out dem gains! Morty! Where are you, Morty? Let's go!
- 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,815 - Oh jeez! Oh god, oh jeez! - Man! We both shit our pants!
- 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,817 - Christ, Rick! My button. - What a fucking ride!
- 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:58,404 - Maggots in my button! - Fuck yeah, on the wall, motherfuckers!
- 00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,281 It's not worth it! Not worth it!
- 00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:05,954 Oh my god, you both reek. What is that?
- 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,205 Morty and I shit our pants.
- 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,540 You're looking at the two newest members of the Hole Club.
- 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,250 Okay, sluts.
- 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,503 What the hell?
- 00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:19,384 Bomb almost killed her. Take care of our wife.
- 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:24,180 Rick? No! Oh my God! No, no!
- 00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:27,600 - Mom? - Where am I? Who are you people?
- 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,019 You're my mom, but, you're young?
- 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:33,481 - Rick, what's happening?? - Wait. Rick?
- 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:36,275 What the fuck, Grandpa? Say something!
- 00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:39,237 - Okay, we're clearly still in the hole. - That's exactly what I was thinking.
- 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,321 We never left the hole and...
- 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,198 And part of the hole is thinking you left the hole and then
- 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,491 And then it can really dig into you.
- 00:04:43,491 --> 00:04:46,369 Because you can't really be scared of anything if you know you're
- 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,996 - Still in the hole! - Still in the hole!
- 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,455 What the fuck are you two talking about?
- 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,582 Why is dead Grandma alive in our living room?
- 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,251 Rick, why are you old?
- 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,293 All great questions.
- 00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:56,421 You guys get reacquainted while we grab some equipment.
- 00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,882 Wait, are we sure this isn't, like, a double mislead?
- 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,135 A double mislead like we went into a generic fear hole
- 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,762 and then coincidentally came home to that? That's...
- 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:07,807 That's my wife. From the day I lost her.
- 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,517 Well, what's it got to do with me?
- 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:12,061 - Rick? - Right!
- 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,272 I think I figured it out, Morty. Your greatest fear,
- 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:16,399 is me getting Diane back and being happy again.
- 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:17,483 What? Why?
- 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,318 Because then I won't need you. Look how scared you're
- 00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:22,196 - getting just talking about it. - I'm not scared, I'm insulted.
- 00:05:22,196 --> 00:05:24,323 What kind of backhanded-ass theory is that?
- 00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:26,200 My greatest fear is you hooking up?
- 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,745 You're right, we can't know for sure until I get more data.
- 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,873 Alright family! Who wants to catch up over ice cream?
- 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:35,334 I knew he was working on teleportation. But...
- 00:05:35,334 --> 00:05:37,170 Wouldn't this be time travel?
- 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,422 Dad never touches time travel.
- 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,506 He calls it the Long...
- 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:42,592 Long Island Iced Tea of science fiction.
- 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:44,927 Yes, but then what is this?
- 00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,846 Don't worry about it, it's not real. Okay!
- 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,639 I figure it's better to do this in front of you,
- 00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:51,934 I didn't want to walk in de-aged. What do you think, D? 45? Younger?
- 00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:55,063 I don't care about your age, Rick. I don't even want to call you that,
- 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:58,107 that's my husband's name, he just died.
- 00:05:58,107 --> 00:05:59,108 I know.
- 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,568 So, 27?
- 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:03,780 - Dad! You're traumatizing her. - What? It's my face, too.
- 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,158 And now Diane gets to understand that I'm still sexy and a genius.
- 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,326 What a kindness.
- 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:11,079 You were right, Rick, I'm really terrified right now.
- 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,331 Terrified of what? If you don't mind,
- 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:16,125 I'd like to get to know the adult version of my...
- 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,585 Oh my God!
- 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,504 Where's my real daughter?
- 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,505 Sweetie, it's all right.
- 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,883 This may as well be our real daughter, because she's just as real as you.
- 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,009 - What? - Put it this way.
- 00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:26,677 You're all basically NPCs.
- 00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:29,138 Only Morty and I are real, so your side quests don't matter.
- 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:32,141 - The main quest is... us. - You're disgusting.
- 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:35,103 You're talking about our baby girl like she's theoretical?
- 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,563 - Welcome to the family. - No, you don't get it, honey.
- 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,565 Even if this was real, she'd be only a version
- 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,567 of your daughter who could also be a clone of your daughter.
- 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,862 Stop wearing my husband's face! You're nothing like him!
- 00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:48,157 - Because I lost you! - Maybe you didn't deserve me!
- 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:54,956 You want to hear a new theory?
- 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:59,919 Maybe your greatest fear is getting a second chance with her and blowing it.
- 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,046 You don't think that fear is been pretty well faced?
- 00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:06,217 Then you haven't conquered it. Or accepted it. Or something.
- 00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:07,927 "Or something?" I'm not a fearologist!
- 00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,720 Morty, all rom-coms have an arc.
- 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,265 Even You've Got Mail begins with Tom Hanks killing that cop.
- 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,266 - Really? - I don't know!
- 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,892 I'm not going to fucking watch You've Got Mail.
- 00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:17,562 I'm doing this for you, Morty. The sooner I get her back,
- 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,731 the sooner you can conquer your fear of being a useless, lonely turd.
- 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,025 You don't think that's been faced?
- 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,491 <i>Hello Diane, here's the song I rehearsed.</i>
- 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,077 <i>You had a bad day and Rick made it worse.</i>
- 00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:38,332 <i>He felt bad, so he created me. I deliver you waffles and an apology.</i>
- 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,085 <i>Why do I have memories of being a human child?</i>
- 00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,378 <i>- Why would I need...</i> - Shit!
- 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:43,588 Goddammit!
- 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:46,424 There was a whole second verse about inviting you to the zoo with the family.
- 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:49,135 I've seen that robot's arms.
- 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:52,305 I used them on a law enforcement drone that the Feds had me build.
- 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,306 It's how we...
- 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,224 How I met my wife.
- 00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:57,810 The zoo sounds nice.
- 00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,438 And this one time, we raised a civilization living
- 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:03,649 on a zit on my face, and Grandpa helped me rule over it as queen.
- 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,860 It sounds like you guys are a real family now.
- 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:08,154 I wish you could've been part of it, Mom.
- 00:08:09,697 --> 00:08:11,282 - Oh, honey! - Rick!
- 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,201 Is there a deadline on this theory you're chasing?
- 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:17,496 Yeah, sure! That's a good idea, Morty. Do that.
- 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:22,210 I always wished I knew what they were saying.
- 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,420 Your Master's thesis. Nonhuman Intelligence.
- 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,963 When did you read that?
- 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,215 After you were gone.
- 00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:28,925 It helped me develop this.
- 00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,053 Fuck you! Fuck you, Greg!
- 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,512 - Fuck you, Lisa! Bread. - No!
- 00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:34,972 - Fuck you! - Fuck you! There's bread.
- 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:37,808 - I guess that's what I expected? - Anticlimactic isn't it.
- 00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,852 They kinda suck.
- 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,273 Wanna grab a drink?
- 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,526 Yeah, alright!
- 00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:01,582 When did you stop being a lightweight?
- 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,751 Kept looking for my wife at the bottom of a bottle.
- 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,086 You're pathetic.
- 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:07,838 Hey! To being pathetic.
- 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,136 Clear!
- 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,356 My turn, my turn.
- 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:34,115 I'll tell you what, Old Man. Seems like losing me made you cooler.
- 00:09:35,032 --> 00:09:36,409 I should die more often.
- 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:38,452 You did.
- 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,289 You died everywhere forever.
- 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:43,708 You're the only thing I can't replace.
- 00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:48,045 Okay, okay, Mr. Weepy. I'm not even real, remember?
- 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,840 Nothing's real, that's your jam, right?
- 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,384 My grandson... our grandson...
- 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:56,387 thinks this is happening because my greatest fear is letting you go.
- 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,222 - Then don't. - I don't want to.
- 00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,850 - Then kiss me. - I'm old and we have puke mouth.
- 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:03,019 Well, I'm not here and it's not real puke.
- 00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,404 Okay, Rick! Dude...
- 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,864 Fuck you Morty, it's a blazer.
- 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,532 That's not what I meant. You look sick.
- 00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:19,869 - The hole is feeding on you. - I thought it's supposed to eat my fear.
- 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,412 Can we get some fucking rules up in this hole?
- 00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,414 I don't know the rules! Maybe you're just dying
- 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,832 because you've been in here too long!
- 00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:27,710 Interesting theory. I wonder why you're so rosy-cheeked.
- 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:28,627 What are you saying?
- 00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:30,921 Maybe the real you is off somewhere running from spiders.
- 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,256 So now I'm not real?
- 00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:35,259 Maybe my greatest fear is having to tell you to fuck the fuck off.
- 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:37,053 - Go ahead and face it! - Fuck the fuck off!
- 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:41,015 - Ready to Showbiz Pizza? - Lemme see that bear play banjo!
- 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,976 Here's one for ya. I'm afraid of watching you die.
- 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,312 I like that theory, Morty. So stop watching.
- 00:10:50,399 --> 00:10:53,486 Okay, this is it. You nailed it. My worst nightmare.
- 00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,363 I'd like to leave The Hole now.
- 00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:59,742 Hey, Hole, I'm talking to you. Are you listening?
- 00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,379 So, what are you, like, the Hole?
- 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,547 The Hole's promoter? The Hole's intern?
- 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:14,673 Is there a hole here?
- 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:18,552 Right! I'm supposed to go in there and be shocked that there's no hole,
- 00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:21,138 or that there is a hole? What difference would it make?
- 00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:23,265 You are hard to scare.
- 00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,642 And Rick isn't, right?
- 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,936 The Hole's gonna, like, suck on him forever
- 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,688 because his big secret is that he's got the most fear?
- 00:11:29,688 --> 00:11:32,024 Well, we can certainly say you're not afraid to be reductive.
- 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,903 I doubt your grandpa has "more" fear than the average asshole in a Denny's.
- 00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:36,987 <i>- Hey.</i> - Sorry!
- 00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:40,574 If anything, he seems pretty brave. He's certainly not afraid to die.
- 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:42,076 Maybe that makes his fear extra...
- 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:43,744 delicious.
- 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,332 So, what, he's scared of love?
- 00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:51,210 Everyone's scared of love, dipshit. You'll learn that in your twenties.
- 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:54,338 It takes a very rare, very powerful being to be
- 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,340 terrified of happiness.
- 00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:57,633 - Dumb. - You're dumb.
- 00:11:57,633 --> 00:11:59,093 That's why you're not scared to be happy.
- 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,886 The smarter you are, the more you know.
- 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:03,389 Happiness is a trap. It can't last forever.
- 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,266 Let's say you meet the love of your life,
- 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,685 well, it's still gonna end... It's inevitable!
- 00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:10,062 Whether by the slow pull of a disease,
- 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,273 or the shock of loose footing on a hiking trail.
- 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,567 whether it be the corrosion of two personalities
- 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,819 that reshape each other until they're incompatible,
- 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,280 or maybe the old stranger in a bar who says the things
- 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,199 that need to be said, to that person, that night.
- 00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:26,162 The point is... Happiness always ends.
- 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,289 Best case scenario, think about this. Best case.
- 00:12:28,664 --> 00:12:31,500 Is that you die at the same time.
- 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,545 - Yikes. - Can't the Hole just let me go then?
- 00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:35,713 Sounds like I don't matter.
- 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,549 You don't. But if you go, you'll take him away. Don't worry.
- 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,885 Rick will die before accepting happiness.
- 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,095 After that, we'll chase you with some clowns
- 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,555 or some dumb shit like that.
- 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:48,309 But Grandpa... Grandpa's gonna die.
- 00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:50,728 Just like Diane.
- 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,446 Sir, you've been in this booth for a really long time,
- 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,198 - one coffee isn't gonna cut it. - That's fair.
- 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,492 - Wanna split some pancake puppies? - No!
- 00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,370 Beth? Summer? Anyone!
- 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:10,414 Dad, it's not real. Neither are you.
- 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,416 If that's true, then you deal with it!
- 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,710 You know what, you're right.
- 00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:18,380 How about this?
- 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:21,300 - Morty! What are you doing? - Being scared!
- 00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:27,848 How is that not enough fear?
- 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,600 You're the one scaring me, Morty!
- 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:30,893 No, Dad, it's okay!
- 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,270 It's not okay! That wasn't normal!
- 00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:38,526 My greatest fear is not being accepted.
- 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:39,735 It should be!
- 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,946 And you need to fear it a hell of a lot more!
- 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,281 I can do that.
- 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:45,407 You like that?
- 00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:46,867 Do you want to die?
- 00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:49,995 I have enough unaddressed trauma to flood this hallway.
- 00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:54,375 You fucking idiot, this list says Top Five Things
- 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,668 and you only wrote down four.
- 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,092 Trust fall!
- 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:06,470 None of us touch or speak to this kid ever.
- 00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,224 Maybe take a picture, send it to your friends?
- 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,225 Not a bad idea.
- 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:14,812 How can we do the school play if Johnny has laryngitis?
- 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:17,356 - There's no understudy! - Put me in the play.
- 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,358 - You don't know the lines. - Yes I do.
- 00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:22,444 Three Days of Rain? I have it memorized.
- 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:24,405 And I refuse to prove that until you cast me.
- 00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:27,074 Have it your way, but The New York Times is coming,
- 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:30,327 and they're doing a feature on the current state of young American theater.
- 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:33,497 Perfect.
- 00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:36,792 - It ended in a church? What? - Yeah!
- 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,420 They'd already died it was purgatory or something.
- 00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,255 How did your universe's version end?
- 00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:44,758 Jack, Locke and Sawyer teamed up to kill a fog monster and everyone got rescued.
- 00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:47,219 It was one season long and it was perfect television.
- 00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,888 You can be great or you can be around forever, right?
- 00:14:49,888 --> 00:14:53,142 True.
- 00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,477 - True. - Where's this going?
- 00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,104 - True. - We doing robot roleplay?
- 00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:58,397 - True. - I've got oil at home.
- 00:14:58,897 --> 00:15:00,524 - True. - What was that? Diane!
- 00:15:00,524 --> 00:15:01,483 Diane?
- 00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:04,236 - Diane. - Stay with me! Diane?
- 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,779 Rick? What's happening?
- 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:08,574 Fucking Morty! He's trying to hog the hole. C'mon!
- 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:19,335 Alas, our father is dead.
- 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,004 Walker, are you here?
- 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:32,056 I'm Walker. Sure has been raining a lot of days.
- 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,683 What the fuck is he doing?
- 00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:36,644 What's wrong with him?
- 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,897 He's naked. And why does he look sick?
- 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:42,358 Because he's dying.
- 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,944 Fuck. I gotta get him out of here.
- 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,072 But if I do, I might have to go with him.
- 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,617 I don't want to. I don't want to, Diane.
- 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,577 I think my greatest fear is letting you go.
- 00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:56,205 That's a good fear, Rick. Keep that fear.
- 00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:59,083 If you don't, you'll kill me. Again.
- 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,086 I know. But I don't have to kill Morty too.
- 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,547 How do you know he's even real? Look at his weird little balls.
- 00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:08,092 Goodbye, Diane.
- 00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,263 - Rick...? - Shut up Morty.
- 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,974 DJ, drop that beat, we gotta conquer a fear!
- 00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,938 <i>This is my grandson don't look at his pee-pee</i>
- 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:23,565 <i>stead of staring at Morty put your eyes on me</i>
- 00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:26,235 <i>I'm a roped-out freak loose dog in my ass</i>
- 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:29,071 <i>macaroni in my pocket Rickity masterclass.</i>
- 00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,657 <i>I don't know how to rap I don't know how to rhyme</i>
- 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:34,284 <i>i don't know how to rap now eat my shit!</i>
- 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:36,745 Incredible.
- 00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:39,581 <i>Now throw your hands up! And put your hands down.</i>
- 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:42,000 <i>Throw your hands up! Now put them back down!</i>
- 00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:45,254 <i>Three days of rain!</i>
- 00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:50,134 That was an astounding feat of personal bravery.
- 00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:53,220 Nudity always makes theater serious and good.
- 00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:54,930 How do you feel?
- 00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,515 Accepted. You?
- 00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:57,516 Pathetic.
- 00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,393 But... Happy?
- 00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:16,160 We did it! We conquered our fears. Right?
- 00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:23,292 Rick! You just looked real sad, which I'm afraid of.
- 00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:27,504 You know, of being responsible for your sadness.
- 00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:30,716 Which means, I think, we might still be in The Hole.
- 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:34,887 Well, I am definitely afraid of you ever knowing anything before me.
- 00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:37,514 So, I'd say there's a 100% chance that we're still...
- 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,810 God damn it. Is this going to be a whole thing?
- 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:42,895 No wordplay, Morty.
- 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,355 We have to figure out our actual fears if we're ever going to get out of here.
- 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,899 - Actual fears? - Yeah!
- 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,567 Tell me your fucking fear so we can conquer it.
- 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:52,279 I just had to crucify myself in order to save you from your Hole Wife,
- 00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,865 and you think I'm the one with unresolved fears?
- 00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,658 I oughta be afraid that we'll never get out,
- 00:17:56,658 --> 00:17:58,368 because you'll never admit that you're afraid!
- 00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,957 Okay. Good job. You conquered it, right?
- 00:18:04,374 --> 00:18:06,668 I think so? How are we supposed to know?
- 00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,587 No, this is real, I can tell.
- 00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,839 You're not afraid that you could be certain about something
- 00:18:10,839 --> 00:18:12,382 and still turn out to be wrong?
- 00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,428 - You cowardly asshole! - How was I supposed to know?
- 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,266 Eight dollars for a side of bacon?
- 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,060 Are you fucking kidding me?
- 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,978 It's a symptom of a larger concern, Morty.
- 00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,231 - If capitalism collapses... - Are we done here?
- 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:30,317 I don't know. Aren't you a little afraid at this point of The Hole itself?
- 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:31,318 What?
- 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:33,695 I swear to God! If we're still climbing out
- 00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:35,531 of this fucking Hole two seasons from now.
- 00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:37,115 - Maybe that was it. - What?
- 00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:40,285 Maybe we needed to let go of our fear of uncertainty. You know?
- 00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:41,954 Right.
- 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,081 I'd say we're pretty native to that at this point.
- 00:18:44,081 --> 00:18:46,041 - Okay thank you, Hole! - Thank you, Hole!
- 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:49,419 We no longer need to know if we're in you! So Bye!
- 00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:58,929 Are you afraid we're still in it?
- 00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:01,473 I mean, I hope we're not, but if we are...
- 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:03,851 - We'll find out eventually. - Which no longer scares me.
- 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:06,061 Same. Okay. I'm gonna go get drunk.
- 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:13,902 <i>Move on they say, you'll feel better with time.</i>
- 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:18,824 <i>But time alone can't heal This heart of mine.</i>
- 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:26,582 <i>You can't go back, That's the only rule,</i>
- 00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:31,670 <i>But rules were meant to break when it comes to you.</i>
- 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:39,469 <i>I saw time and time, Slip by when I withdrew,</i>
- 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:44,808 <i>I wandered far and wide, Without you.</i>
- 00:19:46,476 --> 00:19:47,853 <i>Without you.</i>
- 00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:05,078 <i>So I bury my dead, And I try to start again,</i>
- 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:10,125 <i>But it will never be the same As it was back then.</i>
- 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:17,841 <i>I've seen time and time, Slip by, but I'll make do,</i>
- 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:21,678 <i>-‘Cause I won't live my life...</i> - Oh my God, I've turned into my dad!
- 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,808 Maybe there's no way out. Maybe we were born here.
- 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:30,646 - C'mon. We're gonna get through this. - I'm staying here.
- 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,190 No. We're Rick and Morty. I'm not leaving without you.
- 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:35,108 What did you say?
- 00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:37,945 I said I'm not leaving you in here. Come on. You're irreplaceable.
- 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,240 - What? - Oh my god.
- 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,742 I know what I'm afraid of.
- 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,370 I'm afraid you'd never say that in real life.
- 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,372 I'm afraid that if I jumped into a hole,
- 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:50,457 you wouldn't even bother jumping in after me.
- 00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:54,294 You'd just stand there and watch. This entire thing has been about me.
- 00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:57,756 You're not even in the hole, are you?
- 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,009 <i>Thank you for visiting the Fear Hole, Morty.</i>
- 00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:04,471 <i>Your fear of relying on Ric has been delicious.</i>
- 00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:06,974 Dear God!
- 00:21:09,017 --> 00:21:11,561 Morty! How was it? Was it spiders?
- 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:15,315 Oh jeez. Oh my god, no. You...
- 00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,777 - You didn't go in at all? - No, it's a one-person ride.
- 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:20,904 You can't face two fears at the same time.
- 00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:22,948 If my fear was fire and yours was water...
- 00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:24,366 I get it. It's fine.
- 00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:28,161 It really is fine.
- 00:21:28,662 --> 00:21:30,789 You do seem a little less burdened.
- 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:33,625 Rick, am I irreplaceable?
- 00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:37,170 - I mean, define "irreplaceable". - That's good. Good.
- 00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:39,840 I'm back.
- 00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:43,010 Don't! Or I won't know if I'm out!
- 00:21:43,010 --> 00:21:44,886 - Is it that good? Should I go in? - No.
- 00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,346 You holding out on me?
- 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:48,849 You don't want to deal with it, Rick.
- 00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:52,227 There was messed-up mental shit in there. Like, Diane was in there.
- 00:21:52,227 --> 00:21:53,520 - What? - Not in a good way.
- 00:21:53,937 --> 00:21:54,896 Just trust me.
- 00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:57,691 Okay, buddy. Let's go slam some pancakes.
- 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:51,036 How bout that? Season 7!
- 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:53,246 It was touch and go there for a second.
- 00:22:53,246 --> 00:22:58,126 Remember when I stole my kid? I stole one of these too!
- 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:06,635 It's all about having a goal and stopping at nothing to achieve it!
- 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,554 Then you'll be fulfilled!
- 00:00:39,675 --> 00:00:42,980 Я вырву твою селезёнку и скормлю её твоему мужу.
- 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,586 Ой-ёй, чё-то не хочется.
- 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:48,089 Да уж, Морти. Бежим, пока эта штука не прошарила, что такое муж.
- 00:00:48,110 --> 00:00:50,792 Раньше карнавал кошмаров был страшным, да?
- 00:00:50,813 --> 00:00:52,200 Мы уже всё повидали.
- 00:00:52,221 --> 00:00:53,150 Отстойно блин.
- 00:00:53,171 --> 00:00:55,527 Иногда напугаться бывает довольно прикольно.
- 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:59,166 Я верно услышал, что вы, ребята, желаете старых добрых страхов?
- 00:00:59,187 --> 00:01:01,123 Я бы пожелал, чтобы ты не подслушивал.
- 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,123 Да, ты кто?
- 00:01:02,143 --> 00:01:05,565 Костюм говорит о том, что ты здесь работаешь или, работаешь нифига не здесь?
- 00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:08,318 Я сам своего рода ценитель страха, как и вы.
- 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,753 А ещё я родом с Земли.
- 00:01:09,773 --> 00:01:13,990 Вы знали, что Земля - это дом самого страшного места в галактике?
- 00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:15,575 Могу показать, если хотите.
- 00:01:15,977 --> 00:01:17,463 Мы всё равно туда направлялись.
- 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:20,090 Налево. Почти на месте.
- 00:01:20,110 --> 00:01:21,356 Мы знаем, где Земля.
- 00:01:21,377 --> 00:01:23,649 Вы уже всё повидали, и таким, как вы,
- 00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:26,735 осталось побороть всего пару настоящих страхов.
- 00:01:26,756 --> 00:01:30,176 И один из них находится прямо здесь.
- 00:01:33,537 --> 00:01:34,594 Так, какого чёрта?
- 00:01:34,614 --> 00:01:36,072 Да. Чё за неуважение?
- 00:01:36,093 --> 00:01:38,902 Дэннис - неплохая кафешка, где подают крахмальную еду для тех, кто не спит.
- 00:01:38,922 --> 00:01:40,016 Фиговая шутка, приятель.
- 00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:41,643 Нет, мы на месте.
- 00:01:42,243 --> 00:01:44,082 Удачи вам обоим. А я себе Слэм закажу.
- 00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:46,786 Он хотел, чтобы его подвезли, да?
- 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:48,233 И решил, что мы берём попутчиков.
- 00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:50,850 Ну, раз уж мы здесь...
- 00:01:51,674 --> 00:01:56,011 Итак, Слэм дровосека, большой Слэмвич, оладки-малютки, Слэмбургер, два молочных коктейля
- 00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:57,494 и порция картошки-чеддар.
- 00:01:57,515 --> 00:02:00,758 Скажите, когда принести счёт. А если вам нужна Дыра, то она в мужском туалете.
- 00:02:00,778 --> 00:02:01,557 Чего?
- 00:02:01,578 --> 00:02:02,115 Дыра?
- 00:02:02,135 --> 00:02:03,955 Дыра страха. В мужском туалете.
- 00:02:14,954 --> 00:02:17,574 Ну, это определённо дыра, тут нам не соврали.
- 00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:19,639 Это волосы? Или водоросли?
- 00:02:19,829 --> 00:02:22,332 Да уж, расположились по всей окружности.
- 00:02:22,466 --> 00:02:24,843 Наверное, надо запрыгнуть туда, не задев края.
- 00:02:24,864 --> 00:02:26,824 Как думаешь, там на дне шипы?
- 00:02:26,845 --> 00:02:28,931 Вряд ли нас бы отправили на верную смерть.
- 00:02:28,952 --> 00:02:30,150 Фигово для бизнеса.
- 00:02:30,171 --> 00:02:33,341 В деньгах они явно не купаются. У них даже телек с видаком.
- 00:02:34,306 --> 00:02:35,459 Тот чувак с карнавала.
- 00:02:35,479 --> 00:02:36,965 Он всё же получает откат.
- 00:02:36,986 --> 00:02:40,249 Привет. Добро пожаловать в Дыру. Вот как всё устроено. Запрыгивайте внутрь.
- 00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:42,259 Дыра воплощает ваш самый главный страх.
- 00:02:42,279 --> 00:02:45,255 Если поборете его, то выберетесь оттуда бесстрашным.
- 00:02:45,302 --> 00:02:47,041 И мы повесим вашу фотографию на стену.
- 00:02:47,238 --> 00:02:48,358 Что же с этого получит Дыра?
- 00:02:48,497 --> 00:02:51,584 Вы знаете, есть такие рыбки, которые питаются омертвевшей кожи с ваших ног?
- 00:02:51,777 --> 00:02:55,614 Дыра такая же. Она питается страхом. Ваша победа - её победа.
- 00:02:55,635 --> 00:02:57,398 Удачи. Повеселитесь в Ды...
- 00:02:58,435 --> 00:03:01,681 Эй, Каддафи, умерь свой пыл глотком Маунтин Дью!
- 00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:05,269 Эта Дыра здесь со времён видеокассет, а фоток всего три?
- 00:03:05,290 --> 00:03:06,630 Ага. Картоха остывает.
- 00:03:06,650 --> 00:03:08,279 То есть, ты не хочешь туда прыгать?
- 00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:08,849 А ты?
- 00:03:08,869 --> 00:03:12,066 Ну... Нам обещают, что уйдёт самый главный страх.
- 00:03:12,087 --> 00:03:15,411 Мой главный страх, Морти, это поверить, что мерзкая дыра поборет мой страх,
- 00:03:15,432 --> 00:03:17,492 и я поборю этот страх, когда уйду отсюда.
- 00:03:17,513 --> 00:03:18,878 Хорошо, ладно.
- 00:03:21,241 --> 00:03:22,159 Мелкий говнюк!
- 00:03:24,932 --> 00:03:26,049 О боже!
- 00:03:26,069 --> 00:03:28,583 О боже!
- 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,692 Не дёргайся. Я нашпигую тебя личинками.
- 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,174 Рик!
- 00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:39,552 Ясно. Дыра считает, что мне будет страшно без пушки.
- 00:03:42,572 --> 00:03:43,699 Я поборол страх!
- 00:03:45,073 --> 00:03:49,327 Гля какие банки! Морти! Где ты, Морти? Погнали!
- 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,031 Вот блин! Господи!
- 00:03:51,051 --> 00:03:52,815 - Блин! - Жесть, мы оба обосрались.
- 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,671 - Господи, Рик! Мой пупок! - Охуеть аттракцион!
- 00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:56,187 В моём пупке личинки!
- 00:03:56,207 --> 00:03:58,279 Заебца! На стену, сученьки!
- 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:00,177 Оно того не стоит! Не стоит!
- 00:04:03,454 --> 00:04:05,707 Боже мой, от вас воняет. В чём дело?
- 00:04:05,728 --> 00:04:06,979 Мы с Морти обосрались.
- 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,335 Перед вами два новых члена клуба Дыры.
- 00:04:09,428 --> 00:04:11,138 Понятно, шлюшки.
- 00:04:12,265 --> 00:04:13,309 Какого чёрта?
- 00:04:13,621 --> 00:04:16,372 Бомба чуть не убила её.
- 00:04:16,531 --> 00:04:19,524 Сбереги нашу жену.
- 00:04:20,633 --> 00:04:24,098 Рик? Нет! Боже мой! Нет! Нет!
- 00:04:24,382 --> 00:04:25,020 Мама?
- 00:04:25,041 --> 00:04:27,394 Где я? Кто вы такие?
- 00:04:27,415 --> 00:04:29,731 Ты моя мама, но... молодая?
- 00:04:29,752 --> 00:04:31,372 Рик, что происходит?
- 00:04:31,392 --> 00:04:33,214 Стоп. Рик?
- 00:04:34,136 --> 00:04:36,275 Что за хуйня, деда? Скажи что-нибудь.
- 00:04:36,471 --> 00:04:37,728 Ну мы явно ещё в дыре.
- 00:04:37,748 --> 00:04:38,890 У меня та же мысль.
- 00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:40,111 Мы не вылезли из дыры и...
- 00:04:40,132 --> 00:04:41,945 Дыра заставляет думать, что ты покинул дыру и...
- 00:04:41,966 --> 00:04:43,271 И по полной впивается в тебя.
- 00:04:43,292 --> 00:04:46,118 Потому что невозможно испытать настоящий страх, если ты знаешь, что
- 00:04:46,139 --> 00:04:47,766 - Всё ещё в дыре! - Всё ещё в дыре!
- 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,170 Да чё вы, блядь, несёте?
- 00:04:49,191 --> 00:04:51,318 Что в нашей гостиной делает ожившая бабушка?
- 00:04:51,339 --> 00:04:53,008 Рик, почему ты старый?
- 00:04:53,029 --> 00:04:56,421 Отличные вопросы. Вы тут познакомьтесь, а мы за оборудованием.
- 00:04:57,084 --> 00:04:59,628 Погоди, а нас точно не водят за нос дважды?
- 00:04:59,649 --> 00:05:01,902 Хочешь сказать, что мы сиганули в типичную дыру страха
- 00:05:01,923 --> 00:05:03,780 и по воле случая увидели дома вот это?
- 00:05:04,132 --> 00:05:07,565 Это... это моя жена. С того дня, как я потерял её.
- 00:05:07,586 --> 00:05:09,492 Ну, а я-то здесь причём?
- 00:05:10,915 --> 00:05:11,216 Рик?
- 00:05:11,236 --> 00:05:13,272 Так! Кажется, я всё понял, Морти.
- 00:05:13,293 --> 00:05:16,169 Больше всего ты боишься, что я верну Дайен и снова буду счастлив.
- 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:17,164 Что? Почему?
- 00:05:17,185 --> 00:05:18,486 Ты мне больше не потребуешься.
- 00:05:18,507 --> 00:05:20,023 Тебе страшно от одного только разговора.
- 00:05:20,043 --> 00:05:21,943 Мне не страшно. Я оскорблён.
- 00:05:21,964 --> 00:05:24,033 Чё это за шизанутая теория?
- 00:05:24,054 --> 00:05:25,873 Мой главный страх - это твоя личная жизнь?
- 00:05:25,894 --> 00:05:28,545 Ты прав. Узнаем наверняка, когда соберём побольше данных.
- 00:05:28,835 --> 00:05:31,644 Эй, семья. Кто хочет поболтать за мороженкой?
- 00:05:32,256 --> 00:05:34,967 Я знала, что он работал над телепортацией, но...
- 00:05:35,041 --> 00:05:36,877 Разве это не путешествие во времени?
- 00:05:36,898 --> 00:05:39,150 Ой, папа не любит путешествия во времени.
- 00:05:39,171 --> 00:05:39,948 Он называет их Лонг...
- 00:05:39,969 --> 00:05:42,328 Коктейлем Лонг-Айленд в мире научной фантастики.
- 00:05:42,349 --> 00:05:44,558 Да, но это тогда что?
- 00:05:44,579 --> 00:05:46,498 Не парься, всё ненастоящее. Так-с.
- 00:05:46,519 --> 00:05:48,312 Я решил сделать это у тебя на глазах.
- 00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:51,822 А то бы уселся молодым. Что скажешь, Ди? Сорок пять? Или помоложе?
- 00:05:51,843 --> 00:05:53,566 Мне всё равно, сколько тебе лет, Рик.
- 00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:56,083 Я даже не хочу звать тебя так. Это имя моего мужа.
- 00:05:56,111 --> 00:05:57,724 А он... погиб.
- 00:05:57,745 --> 00:05:58,387 Знаю.
- 00:05:59,028 --> 00:06:00,249 Тогда... двадцать семь?
- 00:06:00,270 --> 00:06:01,912 Папа! Ты ей психотравму нанесёшь!
- 00:06:01,932 --> 00:06:03,482 Что? Мне тоже не по себе.
- 00:06:03,503 --> 00:06:06,881 Зато теперь Дайен поймёт, что я до сих пор и сексуален, и умён.
- 00:06:06,902 --> 00:06:08,070 Сама доброта.
- 00:06:08,091 --> 00:06:10,748 Ты был прав, Рик. Я сейчас в диком ужасе.
- 00:06:10,769 --> 00:06:12,176 В ужасе от чего?
- 00:06:12,196 --> 00:06:15,833 Если вы не против, я хотела бы получше узнать взрослую версию своей...
- 00:06:16,068 --> 00:06:16,826 О господи!
- 00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:19,297 Где... где моя настоящая дочь?
- 00:06:19,318 --> 00:06:20,319 Милая, всё хорошо.
- 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:23,515 Считай, что это - настоящая дочь, она реальна в той же степени, что и ты.
- 00:06:23,536 --> 00:06:23,961 Чего?
- 00:06:23,981 --> 00:06:26,319 Короче. Вы все, по сути, ЭнПиСи.
- 00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:28,846 Настоящие только я и Морти. Так что ваши сайд-квесты не важны.
- 00:06:29,118 --> 00:06:30,746 Главный квест - это мы.
- 00:06:30,767 --> 00:06:31,813 Какой ты мерзкий.
- 00:06:31,834 --> 00:06:34,703 Говоришь про нашу малышку так, будто она гипотетическая.
- 00:06:34,724 --> 00:06:35,958 Добро пожаловать в семью.
- 00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:37,184 Нет, ты не поняла, милая.
- 00:06:37,205 --> 00:06:39,774 Даже если бы всё это было реально, то она - лишь версия дочери,
- 00:06:39,795 --> 00:06:41,075 которая, возможно, ещё и клон дочери.
- 00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:43,207 Перестань расхаживать с лицом моего мужа!
- 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,525 Ты вообще не он!
- 00:06:44,546 --> 00:06:45,782 Потому что потерял тебя!
- 00:06:45,802 --> 00:06:47,841 Возможно, ты меня и не заслуживал.
- 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,745 Рассказать мою теорию?
- 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:59,545 Может, твой главный страх - это получить второй шанс и профукать его?
- 00:06:59,566 --> 00:07:01,693 Не думаешь, что я уже столкнулся с этим страхом?
- 00:07:01,714 --> 00:07:04,962 Значит, ты его не поборол. Или не принял.
- 00:07:05,344 --> 00:07:06,539 - Или ещё чего. - Ещё чего?
- 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,525 Я не страховед!
- 00:07:07,546 --> 00:07:09,339 Морти, у всех ромкомов есть сюжетная арка.
- 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,905 Даже в начале фильма "Вам письмо" Том Хэнкс убивает копа.
- 00:07:11,926 --> 00:07:12,323 Правда?
- 00:07:12,343 --> 00:07:14,459 Не знаю! Ебал я смотреть "Вам письмо".
- 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,150 Я же для тебя стараюсь, Морти. Чем быстрее я верну её,
- 00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:20,340 тем быстрее ты перестанешь бояться быть бесполезным одиноким катяхом.
- 00:07:20,794 --> 00:07:22,794 А, типа с этим страхом я не столкнулся ещё?
- 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,226 ♪ Привет, Дайен, ♪ ♪ мне песню спеть не лень. ♪
- 00:07:30,344 --> 00:07:32,832 ♪ Рик сделал хуже ♪ ♪ и без того плохой день. ♪
- 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:35,330 ♪ Ему стало стыдно, ♪ ♪ и он создал меня. ♪
- 00:07:35,350 --> 00:07:37,986 ♪ Я принёс тебе вафли ♪ ♪ и извинения. ♪
- 00:07:38,340 --> 00:07:40,684 Почему я помню, что раньше был человеческим ребёнком?
- 00:07:40,705 --> 00:07:41,998 - Зачем я должен... - Чёрт-чёрт-чёрт!
- 00:07:42,419 --> 00:07:43,179 Твою налево.
- 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,063 Во втором куплете было приглашение пойти в зоопарк всей семьёй.
- 00:07:46,084 --> 00:07:48,756 Я уже видела руки этого робота.
- 00:07:48,777 --> 00:07:51,790 Да, они были на полицейском дроне, которого я сделал по просьбе федералов.
- 00:07:51,884 --> 00:07:52,885 Так мы...
- 00:07:53,677 --> 00:07:54,742 Так я встретил жену.
- 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,477 Зоопарк звучит здорово.
- 00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:01,317 А однажды у меня вскочил прыщ на лице, и мы создали там цивилизацию.
- 00:08:01,338 --> 00:08:03,238 Дедушка помог мне стать их королевой.
- 00:08:03,259 --> 00:08:05,470 Похоже, что вы стали настоящей семьёй.
- 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,654 Вот бы ты стала её частью, мама.
- 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,363 Ох, милая.
- 00:08:10,383 --> 00:08:12,819 Рик, долго ты ещё будешь гоняться за своей теорией?
- 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:17,172 Да, конечно! О-отличная идея, Морти. Так и сделай.
- 00:08:19,186 --> 00:08:21,689 Всегда хотелось понять, о чём они говорят.
- 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,920 Это ж тема твоей диссертации. Нечеловеческий интеллект.
- 00:08:23,941 --> 00:08:25,575 Когда ты её прочитал?
- 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:28,505 Когда тебя не стало. Она помогла создать вот это.
- 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:30,873 Иди нахуй!
- 00:08:30,894 --> 00:08:32,233 - Иди нахуй, Грег! - Пошла нахуй, Лиза!
- 00:08:32,273 --> 00:08:33,118 - Йоу! Хлеб! - Стоять!
- 00:08:33,139 --> 00:08:34,533 - Иди нахуй! - Сама иди! Ещё хлеб!
- 00:08:34,554 --> 00:08:35,924 А чего ещё стоило ожидать?
- 00:08:35,944 --> 00:08:37,308 Разочарование, не так ли?
- 00:08:37,329 --> 00:08:39,373 Да, полный отстой.
- 00:08:42,283 --> 00:08:43,759 Эй, не хочешь выпить?
- 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,261 Да, ништяк!
- 00:08:49,666 --> 00:08:52,526 Три... два... Пейте!
- 00:08:58,475 --> 00:09:01,061 Когда это тебя перестал брать алкоголь?
- 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,402 Когда искал жену на дне бутылки.
- 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:04,586 Ничтожество.
- 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,338 Эй! За ничтожеств!
- 00:09:12,465 --> 00:09:13,382 Разряд!
- 00:09:15,525 --> 00:09:18,937 Умоляю вас, поделите выигрыш. Выберите жизнь.
- 00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:20,684 Мы так и делаем, уёбок.
- 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:24,869 Теперь я, теперь я.
- 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:33,615 Вот что я скажу тебе, старик. Ты стал круче, когда потерял меня.
- 00:09:34,445 --> 00:09:35,822 Надо почаще умирать.
- 00:09:36,894 --> 00:09:37,674 Так и было.
- 00:09:38,654 --> 00:09:40,813 Ты умерла повсюду... навсегда.
- 00:09:41,696 --> 00:09:43,208 Только тебя я не могу заменить.
- 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:47,545 Успокойся, мистер Нюня. Я ведь ненастоящая, забыл?
- 00:09:47,785 --> 00:09:50,246 Всё вокруг нереально. Твори, что хочешь, верно?
- 00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:52,811 Мой внук... наш внук...
- 00:09:52,832 --> 00:09:55,835 думает, что всё это происходит, потому что мой главный страх - отпустить тебя.
- 00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:56,759 Так не отпускай.
- 00:09:56,779 --> 00:09:57,691 Я не хочу.
- 00:09:57,712 --> 00:09:58,364 Поцелуй меня.
- 00:09:58,393 --> 00:10:00,271 Я старый, и у меня рот в блевоте.
- 00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:02,461 Меня здесь нет, а блевота ненастоящая.
- 00:10:11,082 --> 00:10:12,856 Короче, Рик! Офигеть! Чел...
- 00:10:12,877 --> 00:10:14,337 Нахуй иди, Морти. Это блейзер.
- 00:10:14,358 --> 00:10:16,026 Я не об этом. У тебя больной видок.
- 00:10:16,212 --> 00:10:17,564 Дыра питается тобой.
- 00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,278 Она вроде должна питаться страхом.
- 00:10:19,299 --> 00:10:20,786 В этой дыре есть вообще сраные правила?
- 00:10:20,807 --> 00:10:24,332 Правил я не знаю. Может, ты умираешь, потому что торчишь в ней слишком долго?
- 00:10:24,353 --> 00:10:27,102 Интересная теория. А ты тогда чего такой розовощёкий?
- 00:10:27,123 --> 00:10:27,982 Что ты имеешь в виду?
- 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:30,297 А вдруг настоящий ты бегает в ужасе от пауков.
- 00:10:30,318 --> 00:10:31,653 То есть, я теперь ненастоящий?
- 00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:34,677 Да, может, мой главный страх - это сказать, чтобы ты от меня отъебался.
- 00:10:34,698 --> 00:10:35,421 Ну давай тогда.
- 00:10:35,441 --> 00:10:36,492 Отъебись от меня!
- 00:10:36,513 --> 00:10:38,325 Ну что, идём в пиццерию "Шоубиз"?
- 00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:40,475 Заценим, как медведь лабает на банджо!
- 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:43,358 А как тебе такое? Мне страшно наблюдать, как ты умираешь.
- 00:10:43,379 --> 00:10:45,834 Хорошая теория, Морти. Перестань наблюдать.
- 00:10:49,646 --> 00:10:52,986 Ладно, вот и всё. Ты молодец. Мой главный кошмар.
- 00:10:53,234 --> 00:10:54,863 Можно покинуть Дыру?
- 00:10:55,874 --> 00:10:59,242 Эй, Дыра, я с тобой говорю! Ты слушаешь?
- 00:11:08,776 --> 00:11:10,724 Ты кто? Ты и есть Дыра?
- 00:11:10,745 --> 00:11:12,850 Промоутер Дыры? Стажёр Дыры?
- 00:11:12,871 --> 00:11:13,997 Тут есть дыра?
- 00:11:14,018 --> 00:11:17,897 Ах да. Я типа должен пойти туда и офигеть от того, что дыры нет,
- 00:11:17,918 --> 00:11:20,504 или что она там есть? Какая вообще разница?
- 00:11:20,525 --> 00:11:22,652 Хм. А тебя тяжело напугать.
- 00:11:22,673 --> 00:11:24,050 А Рика легко, да?
- 00:11:24,071 --> 00:11:26,299 Дыра будет вечно высасывать из него жизнь,
- 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,072 потому что его главная тайна в том, что у него самый большой страх?
- 00:11:29,093 --> 00:11:31,429 Можно точно сказать, что ты не боишься приуменьшать.
- 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:35,241 Не думаю, что у твоего дедушки страх больше, чем у рядового мудилы из Дэннис.
- 00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:35,683 Эй!
- 00:11:35,703 --> 00:11:36,201 Извини.
- 00:11:36,222 --> 00:11:39,809 Скорее наоборот, он довольно храбрый. Смерти он точно не боится.
- 00:11:39,913 --> 00:11:43,042 Может, это и делает его страх особенно... вкусным.
- 00:11:45,721 --> 00:11:47,598 Он что, боится любви?
- 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:50,684 Любви боятся все, тупица. Поймёшь после двадцати.
- 00:11:50,783 --> 00:11:53,845 Редко попадается настолько сильное создание, которое
- 00:11:54,157 --> 00:11:55,685 боится счастья.
- 00:11:55,706 --> 00:11:56,188 Тупо.
- 00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:58,432 Это ты тупой, а потому и не боишься быть счастливым.
- 00:11:58,453 --> 00:12:00,163 Чем умнее ты становишься, ты больше познаёшь.
- 00:12:00,184 --> 00:12:02,687 Счастье - это ловушка. Оно не может жить вечно.
- 00:12:03,046 --> 00:12:07,185 Вот встретил ты любовь всей своей жизни. Она всё равно пройдёт. Это неизбежно.
- 00:12:07,206 --> 00:12:09,360 Причиной может послужить медленная хватка болезни
- 00:12:09,381 --> 00:12:11,592 или внезапная потеря равновесия в походе.
- 00:12:11,613 --> 00:12:16,109 А может, характеры двух людей будут разъедать друг друга так сильно, что потеряют совместимость.
- 00:12:16,130 --> 00:12:19,627 Либо же незнакомец в баре скажет то, что необходимо сказать
- 00:12:19,648 --> 00:12:21,699 нужному человеку и в нужный вечер.
- 00:12:21,869 --> 00:12:25,415 Смысл в том, что счастью всегда приходит конец.
- 00:12:25,436 --> 00:12:27,563 В самом лучшем случае... ты подумай. В лучшем случае...
- 00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:30,726 Вы умрёте в одно и то же время.
- 00:12:31,511 --> 00:12:32,262 Ох.
- 00:12:32,282 --> 00:12:34,908 Тогда может Дыра отпустит меня? Я тут вроде и не нужен.
- 00:12:34,929 --> 00:12:37,874 Не нужен. Но если ты уйдёшь, то заберёшь его с собой. Не переживай.
- 00:12:37,895 --> 00:12:40,231 Рик быстрее умрёт, чем примет счастье.
- 00:12:40,252 --> 00:12:43,815 А потом мы и до тебя доберёмся с помощью клоунов или ещё какой тупой херни.
- 00:12:43,836 --> 00:12:47,590 Но дедушка. Ням-ням-ням. Дедушка умрёт.
- 00:12:47,966 --> 00:12:50,228 Прямо как Дайен.
- 00:12:57,106 --> 00:13:00,917 Сэр, вы уже давно тут сидите. Одно только кофе не прокатит.
- 00:13:00,937 --> 00:13:01,600 Справедливо.
- 00:13:01,772 --> 00:13:03,059 Скинемся на оладок-малюток?
- 00:13:03,079 --> 00:13:03,691 Нет!
- 00:13:05,777 --> 00:13:07,745 Бэт! Саммер! Кто-нибудь!
- 00:13:07,766 --> 00:13:09,742 Пап, он ненастоящий. И ты тоже.
- 00:13:09,763 --> 00:13:11,765 Если это так, то разберись с ним.
- 00:13:12,181 --> 00:13:14,081 А знаешь, ты... ты прав.
- 00:13:16,819 --> 00:13:17,759 Как вам такое?
- 00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:19,316 Морти! Что ты делаешь?
- 00:13:19,336 --> 00:13:20,700 Пугаюсь!
- 00:13:25,176 --> 00:13:27,104 Неужели, этого страха мало?
- 00:13:27,131 --> 00:13:28,776 Это ты меня пугаешь, Морти!
- 00:13:28,797 --> 00:13:30,019 Нет, пап, всё хорошо.
- 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,417 Ничего хорошего! Это ненормально!
- 00:13:34,576 --> 00:13:37,746 Суть моего главного страха в том, что меня никто не принимает?
- 00:13:37,767 --> 00:13:41,208 Неудивительно! И ты должен бояться этого куда сильнее!
- 00:13:42,303 --> 00:13:43,217 Это можно.
- 00:13:43,977 --> 00:13:46,063 Нравится? Жить надоело?
- 00:13:46,084 --> 00:13:49,285 Моих непроработанных травм хватит, чтобы затопить весь этот коридор.
- 00:13:50,072 --> 00:13:51,019 ТОП-5 ПРИЧИН ПОЧЕМУ МОРТИ ЛЮБИТ ДЖЕССИКУ 1. ЗАПАХ ЕЁ СМЕНКИ 2. КАК ОНА ГОВОРИТ СЛОВО "СОЧНЫЙ" 3. ЕЁ ИМЯ ОЗНАЧАЕТ "ДАЛЬНОВИДНОСТЬ" НА ИВРИТЕ 4. ЕЁ КОЖА ТАКАЯ ПРЕКРАСНАЯ, ЧТО У МЕНЯ БОЛИТ ПИСЯ
- 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:55,168 Ну ты и еблан! Тут написано Топ-5, а у тебя в списке четыре пункта.
- 00:14:01,287 --> 00:14:02,051 Тест на доверие.
- 00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,674 Чтоб никто и никогда не трогал и не общался с этим пацаном.
- 00:14:06,464 --> 00:14:09,342 Может, сделаешь фотку и отправишь друзьям?
- 00:14:09,363 --> 00:14:10,364 Неплохая мысль.
- 00:14:11,242 --> 00:14:13,984 У Джонни ларингит, как же мы теперь поставим пьесу?
- 00:14:14,005 --> 00:14:15,348 Его роль больше никто не знает.
- 00:14:15,368 --> 00:14:16,456 Давайте я сыграю!
- 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,650 Ты же реплик не знаешь.
- 00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:18,458 Да всё я знаю.
- 00:14:18,812 --> 00:14:21,523 Три дня дождя? Знаю наизусть.
- 00:14:21,544 --> 00:14:23,548 Доказывать не буду, пока не дадите роль.
- 00:14:23,569 --> 00:14:26,174 Будь по твоему. Но там будет представитель из Нью-Йорк Таймс.
- 00:14:26,195 --> 00:14:29,448 Они пишут статью о текущем состоянии американского молодёжного театра.
- 00:14:31,554 --> 00:14:32,353 Шикос.
- 00:14:32,597 --> 00:14:35,356 Всё закончилось в церкви? Что?
- 00:14:35,376 --> 00:14:38,611 Да. Они уже были мертвы и попали в чистилище или типа того.
- 00:14:38,853 --> 00:14:40,458 А в твоей вселенной чем кончилось?
- 00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:43,858 Джек, Локк и Сойер вместе убивают туманного монстра, и все остаются в живых.
- 00:14:43,879 --> 00:14:46,319 Всего один сезон, просто идеальный сериал.
- 00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:48,988 Либо сериал великий, либо вечно в эфире, да?
- 00:14:49,009 --> 00:14:52,323 Да. Да. Да. Да.
- 00:14:52,876 --> 00:14:53,467 Да.
- 00:14:53,488 --> 00:14:54,577 - Да. - Чего это ты?
- 00:14:54,598 --> 00:14:56,276 - Да. Да. - Ролевушка про роботов?
- 00:14:56,297 --> 00:14:57,590 - Да. Да. - Дома есть чем смазаться.
- 00:14:57,745 --> 00:14:59,750 - Да. Да. Да. - Что это было? Дайен?
- 00:14:59,771 --> 00:15:01,219 Дайен? Дайен.
- 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,396 - Дайен. Дайен. - Эй! Очнись! Дайен!
- 00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:04,879 Рик? Что происходит?
- 00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:07,792 Морти сучара! Хочет перегрузить дыру! Идём.
- 00:15:14,901 --> 00:15:18,528 Увы, но наш отец умер.
- 00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:21,170 Уокер? Ты здесь?
- 00:15:23,565 --> 00:15:25,425 Я - Уокер.
- 00:15:26,412 --> 00:15:31,142 Д-д-дождь льёт уже несколько дней.
- 00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:33,956 Чё он, блядь, творит?
- 00:15:34,617 --> 00:15:35,840 Что это с ним?
- 00:15:36,119 --> 00:15:38,997 Он голый. И почему у него такой больной вид?
- 00:15:40,396 --> 00:15:41,490 Он умирает.
- 00:15:42,876 --> 00:15:45,044 Блядь. Я должен вытащить его отсюда.
- 00:15:45,324 --> 00:15:47,355 Но тогда придётся выбраться и мне самому.
- 00:15:48,277 --> 00:15:50,696 Я не хочу. Я не хочу, Дайен.
- 00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,677 Похоже, потерять тебя и правда мой главный страх.
- 00:15:52,698 --> 00:15:55,408 Это хороший страх, Рик. Береги его.
- 00:15:55,584 --> 00:15:58,234 Если не сбережёшь, то убьёшь меня. Снова.
- 00:15:58,662 --> 00:16:01,165 Знаю. Но я не хочу убивать Морти.
- 00:16:01,186 --> 00:16:04,647 Откуда тебе знать, что он настоящий? Посмотри на его странные яички.
- 00:16:06,274 --> 00:16:07,192 Прощай, Дайен.
- 00:16:10,941 --> 00:16:11,524 Рик?
- 00:16:11,544 --> 00:16:12,275 Завали, Морти.
- 00:16:12,363 --> 00:16:15,074 ДиДжей, дай-ка нам бит! Мы должны побороть страх!
- 00:16:17,582 --> 00:16:19,918 ♪ Этой мой внучара, ♪ ♪ не смотри на его мудя. ♪
- 00:16:19,939 --> 00:16:22,659 ♪ Чем пялиться на Морти, ♪ ♪ лучше глянь на меня! ♪
- 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,314 ♪ Я членом машу, ♪ ♪ а вот жопа без прикрас, ♪
- 00:16:25,335 --> 00:16:28,171 ♪ Поболтаю макарошкой, ♪ ♪ Риканутый мастеркласс! ♪
- 00:16:28,171 --> 00:16:30,757 ♪ Я не умею читать рэп ♪ ♪ И не умею рифмовать, ♪
- 00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:33,384 ♪ Я не умею читать рэп. ♪ ♪ Пожрите говна. ♪
- 00:16:34,422 --> 00:16:35,789 Невероятно.
- 00:16:35,810 --> 00:16:38,646 ♪ Поднимите вверх ♪ ♪ И опустите вниз. ♪
- 00:16:38,681 --> 00:16:41,100 ♪ Поднимите руки вверх ♪ ♪ А теперь вниз. ♪
- 00:16:41,761 --> 00:16:44,354 - Три дня дождя. - Три дня дождя.
- 00:16:46,926 --> 00:16:49,353 Невероятное мастерство человеческого мужества.
- 00:16:49,528 --> 00:16:52,320 Нагота всегда делает театр лучше и серьёзнее.
- 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:53,789 Как себя чувствуешь?
- 00:16:53,876 --> 00:16:55,461 Принятым. А ты?
- 00:16:55,568 --> 00:16:56,270 Ничтожным.
- 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,493 Но... счастливым?
- 00:17:12,376 --> 00:17:15,260 Получилось! Мы побороли свои страхи. Да?
- 00:17:19,325 --> 00:17:23,729 Эй, Рик, у тебя такой печальный вид, и... я боюсь...
- 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:26,604 ну... быть причиной твоей печали.
- 00:17:26,829 --> 00:17:29,817 Поэтому мне кажется, что мы до сих пор в Дыре.
- 00:17:29,838 --> 00:17:33,800 Что ж. Я точно боюсь, когда ты знаешь что-то, чего не знаю я.
- 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,467 Так что да, я уверен на все сто, что мы до сих пор...
- 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,762 Твою налево! Это место - настоящая дыра.
- 00:17:40,783 --> 00:17:41,868 Не каламбурь, Морти.
- 00:17:41,889 --> 00:17:44,349 Чтобы выбраться отсюда, надо понять, какие страхи подлинные.
- 00:17:44,370 --> 00:17:45,705 Подлинные страхи?
- 00:17:45,726 --> 00:17:47,582 Да. Какие сраные страхи ты должен побороть?
- 00:17:47,603 --> 00:17:51,226 Да я буквально распял себя на кресте, чтобы спасти тебя от жены из Дыры.
- 00:17:51,247 --> 00:17:53,833 По-твоему, это у меня остались непокорённые страхи?
- 00:17:53,858 --> 00:17:57,468 Я боюсь, что мы никогда не выберемся, потому что ты никогда не признаешь, что тебе страшно!
- 00:18:00,885 --> 00:18:02,970 Ну всё, молодец. Ты его поборол, да?
- 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,627 Наверное? А как вообще понять?
- 00:18:05,648 --> 00:18:07,435 Не-не-не. Мы в реальном мире, я точно знаю.
- 00:18:07,456 --> 00:18:11,482 А ты не боишься допустить ошибку, даже когда в чём-то уверен?
- 00:18:12,962 --> 00:18:13,967 Трусливый говнюк!
- 00:18:13,987 --> 00:18:15,381 Откуда мне было знать?
- 00:18:18,311 --> 00:18:20,075 Восемь долларов за дополнительный бекон?
- 00:18:20,759 --> 00:18:22,139 Ты, блядь, издеваешься?
- 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:23,991 Всегда есть чего бояться, Морти.
- 00:18:24,012 --> 00:18:25,214 Если капитализм рухнет...
- 00:18:25,235 --> 00:18:26,331 Может, это всё?
- 00:18:26,444 --> 00:18:29,197 Не знаю. А сама Дыра тебя не пугает немного?
- 00:18:29,236 --> 00:18:29,781 Что?
- 00:18:30,904 --> 00:18:34,467 Не дай бог мы будем два сезона вылезать из этой блядской дыры.
- 00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:35,408 Может, теперь всё?
- 00:18:35,428 --> 00:18:36,072 Что?
- 00:18:36,093 --> 00:18:39,263 Может, надо было оставить наш страх перед неуверенностью? Понимаешь?
- 00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:42,894 Да. Для нас это уже как вторая натура.
- 00:18:42,981 --> 00:18:44,139 Ладно, спасибо, Дыра.
- 00:18:44,159 --> 00:18:44,941 Спасибо, Дыра!
- 00:18:44,962 --> 00:18:48,340 Нам уже всё равно, внутри тебя мы или нет, так что... пока.
- 00:18:56,371 --> 00:18:57,789 Боишься, что мы ещё там?
- 00:18:57,810 --> 00:19:00,552 Ну, надеюсь, что нет, но если мы там...
- 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,415 То узнаем рано или поздно.
- 00:19:01,435 --> 00:19:02,691 И больше меня это не пугает.
- 00:19:02,712 --> 00:19:04,922 И меня. Ладно, пойду нажрусь.
- 00:20:18,406 --> 00:20:20,778 О господи, я теперь вылитый батя!
- 00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,627 Может, выхода нет? Может, мы здесь и родились?
- 00:20:26,389 --> 00:20:28,005 Да ладно, мы разберёмся.
- 00:20:28,025 --> 00:20:29,392 Я останусь здесь.
- 00:20:29,413 --> 00:20:32,036 Нет. Мы - Рик и Морти. Без тебя я не уйду.
- 00:20:32,728 --> 00:20:33,854 Что ты сказал?
- 00:20:33,875 --> 00:20:36,857 Я сказал, что не брошу тебя здесь. Идём. Ты незаменим.
- 00:20:39,475 --> 00:20:39,982 Что?
- 00:20:40,126 --> 00:20:42,570 О боже. Я знаю, чего боюсь.
- 00:20:42,788 --> 00:20:45,082 Я боюсь, что ты никогда не скажешь эти слова в реальности.
- 00:20:45,268 --> 00:20:49,317 Я боюсь, что если прыгну в Дыру, ты даже и не подумаешь прыгнуть вслед за мной.
- 00:20:49,338 --> 00:20:53,175 Ты просто будешь стоять и смотреть. Всё это время страх был моим.
- 00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:56,503 Тебя вообще нет в этой Дыре, верно?
- 00:20:57,763 --> 00:20:59,787 Спасибо, что посетил Дыру Страха, Морти.
- 00:20:59,808 --> 00:21:03,270 Твой страх постоянно полагаться на Рика был очень вкусным.
- 00:21:03,291 --> 00:21:06,026 Боже мой!
- 00:21:07,704 --> 00:21:10,456 Морти! Как оно? Чё там было, пауки?
- 00:21:10,717 --> 00:21:14,095 Оооо... вот блин... господи, нет. Ты...
- 00:21:14,683 --> 00:21:16,153 Ты даже не запрыгнул?
- 00:21:16,174 --> 00:21:19,853 Нет, это аттракцион на одного. Нельзя столкнуться сразу с двумя страхами.
- 00:21:19,874 --> 00:21:21,800 Если бы я боялся огня, и ты - воды...
- 00:21:21,821 --> 00:21:23,239 Я понял. Всё хорошо.
- 00:21:25,875 --> 00:21:26,968 Не, серьёзно.
- 00:21:27,395 --> 00:21:29,522 Ты и правда уже не так... обременён.
- 00:21:29,543 --> 00:21:32,379 Рик. А я... незаменим?
- 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,497 Что в твоём понимании "незаменим"?
- 00:21:34,517 --> 00:21:36,121 Сойдёт. Сойдёт.
- 00:21:37,554 --> 00:21:38,236 Я вернулся.
- 00:21:39,609 --> 00:21:41,737 Нет! А то не пойму, что вылез.
- 00:21:41,758 --> 00:21:43,130 Настолько круто? Может, тоже нырнуть?
- 00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:43,634 Нет.
- 00:21:44,115 --> 00:21:45,103 Тебе жалко что ли?
- 00:21:45,653 --> 00:21:47,488 Не стоит с этим связываться, Рик.
- 00:21:47,608 --> 00:21:50,986 Там творился натуральный психологический пиздец. Даже Дайен там была.
- 00:21:51,007 --> 00:21:51,372 Что?
- 00:21:51,392 --> 00:21:52,300 В плохом смысле.
- 00:21:52,523 --> 00:21:53,750 Поверь на слово.
- 00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:56,511 Ладно, дружище. Пойдём жиранём оладьев.
- 00:22:45,753 --> 00:22:49,549 Ооой-ёёёй! Ну как вам? Седьмой сезон!
- 00:22:49,669 --> 00:22:51,926 Какая опасная была ситуёвина.
- 00:22:51,947 --> 00:22:56,827 Помните, когда я спёр своего ребёнка? Я ещё вот эту штуку спёр.
- 00:23:00,376 --> 00:23:05,214 Самое главное - поставить перед собой цель и добиться её всеми возможными способами.
- 00:23:05,327 --> 00:23:08,246 И тогда ты состоишься как человек.
- 00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:31,698 {\an8}♪
- 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,825 [ Electricity crackling ]
- 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,999 {\an8}I'm gonna rip out your spleen
- 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,375 {\an8}and feed it to your husband!
- 00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:43,960 {\an8}Uh-oh. Wouldn't want that.
- 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,504 {\an8}Yikes, Morty, we'd better run before it figures out
- 00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:47,505 {\an8}what a husband is.
- 00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:48,965 {\an8}This carnival of nightmares
- 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,258 {\an8}used to be scary, right?
- 00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:51,718 {\an8}Eh. We've seen too much.
- 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,304 {\an8}It sucks, you know, 'cause it's fun to break off
- 00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:55,513 {\an8}a scare now and then.
- 00:00:55,513 --> 00:00:56,931 {\an8}Did I hear you fellas wishin' for some
- 00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,475 {\an8}good old fashioned scares?
- 00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:00,769 {\an8}I mean, I more wish you wouldn't eavesdrop.
- 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:01,936 {\an8}Yeah, who are you?
- 00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:03,313 {\an8}Does the suit mean you work here,
- 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:04,981 {\an8}or that you super don't work here?
- 00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:07,817 {\an8}Like yourselves, I'm a connoisseur of fear.
- 00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,194 {\an8}I'm also originally from Earth.
- 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,112 {\an8}And did you know Earth is the home
- 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,907 {\an8}of the single scariest place in the galaxy?
- 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,408 {\an8}I can show you if you like.
- 00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:18,244 {\an8}We were headed that way anyway.
- 00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:19,662 {\an8}Take a left. Almost there.
- 00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:21,164 {\an8}We know where Earth is.
- 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,166 {\an8}For guys like you, you know, who've seen it all,
- 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:26,169 {\an8}there's only a few real fears left to conquer.
- 00:01:26,169 --> 00:01:31,132 {\an8}And one of them is right down here.
- 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,219 {\an8}Okay, what the hell?
- 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,845 {\an8}Yeah, this is punching down.
- 00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:37,680 {\an8}Denny's is a nice chain that gives people starchy food
- 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,349 {\an8}when they're up late. It's a hack joke, buddy.
- 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:42,393 {\an8}No, this is the place. Good luck to both of you.
- 00:01:42,393 --> 00:01:44,395 {\an8}I'm gonna get myself a slam.
- 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,189 {\an8}He just wanted a ride, right?
- 00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:48,483 {\an8}He certainly took us for one.
- 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:51,110 {\an8}Welp, as long as we're here.
- 00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:53,196 {\an8}Okay, Lumberjack Slam, Grand Slamwhich,
- 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:55,740 {\an8}Pancake Puppies, Slamburger, two milkshakes...
- 00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:56,991 {\an8}and an order of Cheddar Tots.
- 00:01:56,991 --> 00:01:58,660 {\an8}Let me know when you want your check,
- 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,662 {\an8}and if you're here for The Hole, it's in the men's bathroom.
- 00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,830 {\an8}The what now? Hole?
- 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,541 {\an8}The Fear Hole. Men's bathroom.
- 00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:15,885 {\an8}Well, it's definitely a hole.
- 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,470 {\an8}They weren't lying about that.
- 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,639 {\an8}Is that hair? Seaweed?
- 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,683 {\an8}Boy, it's really circling the whole rim, huh.
- 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,394 {\an8}Guess you got to jump in without touching the sides?
- 00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:26,062 {\an8}You think there's spikes on the bottom?
- 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,730 {\an8}I don't think they want you to go in there
- 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:28,940 {\an8}and just die.
- 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,275 {\an8}What kind of business would that be?
- 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,651 {\an8}Well, they're not drowning in money.
- 00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,820 {\an8}They still have a built-in TV/VCR.
- 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,988 {\an8}Morty: Hey, it's that carnival guy.
- 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,364 {\an8}Oh, so he gets a kickback.
- 00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:39,075 {\an8}Hi. Welcome to The Hole. Here's how it works.
- 00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:41,744 {\an8}You jump in. The Hole manifests your greatest fear.
- 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,914 {\an8}You conquer that fear, and come out, well, fearless.
- 00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:46,583 {\an8}And you get your picture on the wall!
- 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,376 {\an8}What does The Hole get out of it?
- 00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:51,296 {\an8}Well, you know those fish that nibble dead skin off your feet?
- 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,047 {\an8}Yeah, the Hole's kind of like that.
- 00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:54,340 {\an8}It eats fear.
- 00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:57,802 {\an8}You win. It wins. Have fun, and enjoy the Ho-
- 00:02:57,802 --> 00:02:59,762 {\an8}Woman: Hey, Gaddafi, cool your jets
- 00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,264 {\an8}with a taste of Mountain Dew!
- 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,224 {\an8}This has been here since VHS tapes
- 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:04,893 {\an8}and there's only three photos?
- 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,144 {\an8}Yeah, my tots are getting cold.
- 00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,896 {\an8}So you don't want to do it?
- 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,188 {\an8}Do you? I mean...
- 00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:11,274 It says it takes away your greatest fear.
- 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,943 My greatest fear, Morty, is trusting a gross hole
- 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:16,112 to conquer my fear, and I conquer that fear
- 00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,322 by walking away.
- 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,616 Okay, fine.
- 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:20,783 [ Yelps, panting ]
- 00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:23,328 You little turd!
- 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:24,787 [ Screams ]
- 00:03:24,787 --> 00:03:27,498 Oh, God!
- 00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:29,375 [ Screams ]
- 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,546 Hold still while I stuff you with maggots!
- 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,257 Rick!
- 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:39,552 Okay, the Hole thinks I'm scared of not having a gun?
- 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,471 [ Grunting ]
- 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,556 [ Laughs ] Fear conquered!
- 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,807 [ Grunting ]
- 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,559 Check out them gains! Morty!
- 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,852 Where are you, Morty?
- 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:48,937 Let's go!
- 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:51,648 Oh, jeez! Oh, God, oh, jeez!
- 00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:53,316 We both shit our pants! What a fuckin' ride!
- 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,193 Christ, Rick! My button. Maggots.
- 00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,569 In my button!
- 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:57,820 Fuck yeah, on the wall, motherfucker!
- 00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:00,740 It's not worth it! Not worth it!
- 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:05,203 Oh, my God, you both reek. What is that?
- 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,746 Morty and I shit our pants.
- 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:09,290 You're looking at the two newest members of the Hole Club.
- 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,459 Uh, okay, sluts.
- 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,252 [ Screams ] What the hell?
- 00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:16,130 Bomb almost killed her.
- 00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:20,176 Take care of our wife.
- 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,387 Rick? No! Oh, my God.
- 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,013 No. No!
- 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,932 Mom? Where am I?
- 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,016 Who are you people?
- 00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:28,184 You're my mom, but,
- 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:29,310 you're young?
- 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,020 Rick, what's happening?
- 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,605 W-Wait.
- 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,856 Rick?
- 00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:35,900 What the fuck, Grandpa? Say something!
- 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,527 Okay, we're clearly still in the hole.
- 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,070 That's exactly what I was thinking.
- 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,697 We never left the hole and--
- 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,699 And part of the hole is thinking you left the hole and then--
- 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,200 And then it can really dig into you.
- 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,743 Because you can't really be scared of anything
- 00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:46,786 if you know you're--
- 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,162 Together: Still in the hole.
- 00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:49,580 What the fuck are you two talking about?
- 00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,040 Why is dead Grandma alive in our living room?
- 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,500 Rick, why are you old?
- 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,876 All great questions.
- 00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,295 You guys get reacquainted while we grab some equipment.
- 00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:58,840 Wait, are we sure this isn't, like, a double mislead?
- 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,342 A double mislead like we went into a generic fear hole
- 00:05:01,342 --> 00:05:03,511 and then coincidentally came home to that?
- 00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,471 That's... That's my wife.
- 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,223 From the day I lost her.
- 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:10,351 Well, what's it got to do with me?
- 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:11,561 Rick! Right.
- 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,895 I think I figured it out, Morty.
- 00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:14,814 Your greatest fear is me getting Diane back
- 00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,733 and being happy again. What? Why?
- 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,151 Because then I won't need you.
- 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,861 Look how scared you're getting just talking about it.
- 00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,571 I'm not scared, I'm insulted,
- 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,406 what kind of backhanded-ass theory is that?
- 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,366 My greatest fear is you hooking up?
- 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:27,452 You're right. We can't know for sure
- 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,870 until I get more data.
- 00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:31,581 Alright, family, who wants to catch up over ice cream?
- 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,208 I knew he was working on teleportation.
- 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:37,045 But wouldn't this be time travel?
- 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,796 Oh, Dad never touches time travel.
- 00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:40,256 Ye calls it the Long--
- 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:42,133 The Long Island Iced Tea of science fiction, yes,
- 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,885 but then what-- what is this?
- 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,595 Don't worry about it. It's not real.
- 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,930 Okay. I figure it's better to do this in front of you.
- 00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,599 I didn't want to walk in de-aged.
- 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,434 What do you think, D? 45? Younger?
- 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,061 I don't care about your age, Rick.
- 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,063 I don't even want to call you that.
- 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,315 That's my husband's name. He just died.
- 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,692 I know. So, 27?
- 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,569 Dad! You're traumatizing her.
- 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:02,779 What? It's my face, too.
- 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,280 And now Diane gets to understand
- 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,324 that I'm still sexy and a genius.
- 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:07,950 [ Scoffs ] What a kindness.
- 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:10,286 You were right, Rick. I'm really terrified right now.
- 00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:11,621 Terrified of what?
- 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,456 If you don't mind, I'd like to get to know
- 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:16,876 the adult version of my-- Oh, my God.
- 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,503 Where's my real daughter?
- 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:19,837 Sweetie, it's all right.
- 00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:21,339 This may as well be our real daughter
- 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,132 because she's just as real as you.
- 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:24,217 What? Put it this way.
- 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,927 You're all basically NPCs.
- 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,136 Only Morty and I are real,
- 00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:28,596 so your side quests don't matter.
- 00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:30,473 The main quest is us.
- 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,682 You're disgusting.
- 00:06:31,682 --> 00:06:32,934 You're talking about
- 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,852 our baby girl like she's theoretical?
- 00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:35,895 Welcome to the family.
- 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,355 No, you don't get it, honey.
- 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,065 Even if this was real, she'd be only a version
- 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,983 of your daughter who could also be a clone of your daughter.
- 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,027 Stop wearing my husband's face!
- 00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:44,112 You're nothing like him!
- 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,321 Because I lost you!
- 00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:48,449 Maybe you didn't deserve me!
- 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,413 You want to hear a new theory?
- 00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:57,917 Maybe your greatest fear is getting a second chance
- 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,460 with her and blowing it.
- 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,212 You don't think that fear's been pretty well faced?
- 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,089 Then you haven't conquered it.
- 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,299 Or accepted it. Or something.
- 00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:07,093 "Or something?" I'm not a fearologist!
- 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,678 Morty, all rom-coms have an arc.
- 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,638 Even "You've Got Mail" begins with Tom Hanks
- 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:11,806 killing that cop. Really?
- 00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,141 I don't know. I'm not going to
- 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,517 fucking watch "You've Got Mail."
- 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,977 I'm doing this for you, Morty.
- 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,520 The sooner I get her back, the sooner you can conquer
- 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,064 your fear of being a useless, lonely turd.
- 00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:23,109 You don't think that's been faced?
- 00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:29,782 ♪ Hello, Diane, here's the song I rehearsed ♪
- 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:32,535 ♪ You had a bad day and Rick made it worse ♪
- 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,871 ♪ He felt bad, so he created me ♪
- 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,707 ♪ I deliver you waffles and an apology ♪
- 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,042 Why do I have memories of being a human child?
- 00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:41,711 Why would I need-- Shit, shit, shit, shit.
- 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:43,588 Goddamnit, there was a whole second verse
- 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,506 about inviting you to the zoo with the family.
- 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:48,050 I've seen that robot's arms.
- 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,094 Yeah, I used them on a law enforcement drone
- 00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,387 that the Feds had me build.
- 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:55,433 It's how we, uh-- How I met my wife.
- 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,643 The zoo sounds nice.
- 00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,562 And this one time, we raised a civilization
- 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:00,897 living on a zit on my face,
- 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,607 and Grandpa helped me rule over it as queen.
- 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:05,151 It sounds like you guys are a real family now.
- 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,361 I wish you could've been part of it, Mom.
- 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:08,988 Oh.
- 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,406 Oh, honey.
- 00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:12,575 Rick, is there a deadline on this theory you're chasing?
- 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:16,245 Uh, yeah, sure. Uh, that's a good idea, Morty.
- 00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:18,539 Do that.
- 00:08:18,539 --> 00:08:21,292 I always wished I knew what they were saying.
- 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,501 Your Master's thesis.
- 00:08:22,501 --> 00:08:23,628 Non-human Intelligence.
- 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,338 When did you read that?
- 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,631 After you were gone.
- 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,799 It helped me develop this.
- 00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:31,427 Fuck you. Fuck you, Greg!
- 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:33,054 Fuck you, Lisa! Yum, bread.
- 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,514 - No, fuck you! - Fuck you! There's bread.
- 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,765 I guess that's what I expected?
- 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:36,766 Anticlimactic, isn't it?
- 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,227 Yep, they kind of suck.
- 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:41,646 [ Both laughing ]
- 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:44,524 Hey, want to grab a drink?
- 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,443 Whoo! Alright, yeah!
- 00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,320 [ Laughing ]
- 00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:00,498 Oh, when did you stop being a lightweight?
- 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,251 Kept looking for my wife at the bottom of a bottle.
- 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,627 You're pathetic.
- 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:07,630 Hey. To being pathetic.
- 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,010 Clear!
- 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,595 [ Electricity crackling ]
- 00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:16,347 {\an8}[ Both belching ]
- 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,479 [ Retches ]
- 00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:25,273 My turn, my turn.
- 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,691 [ Retches ]
- 00:09:28,025 --> 00:09:30,361 [ Laughs ] I'll tell you what, old man.
- 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:34,031 Seems like losing me made you cooler. [ Chuckles ]
- 00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:35,658 I should die more often.
- 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:36,826 [ Both chuckle ]
- 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,244 You did.
- 00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:40,997 You died everywhere forever.
- 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:42,873 You're the only thing I can't replace.
- 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:45,001 Okay, okay, Mr. Weepy.
- 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,086 I'm not even real, remember?
- 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,672 Nothing's real. That's your jam, right?
- 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:53,175 My grandson, our grandson, thinks this is happening
- 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:55,469 because my greatest fear is letting you go.
- 00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:56,554 Then don't.
- 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,847 I don't want to. Then kiss me.
- 00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,849 I'm old, and we have puke mouth.
- 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:02,935 Well, I'm not here, and it's not real puke.
- 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:10,609 {\an8}♪
- 00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:12,236 Okay, Rick-- whoa! Dude!
- 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,696 Fuck you, Morty. It's a blazer.
- 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,698 That's not what I meant. You look sick.
- 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:16,991 The hole is feeding on you.
- 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,701 I thought it's supposed to eat my fear.
- 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,244 Can we get some fucking rules up in this hole?
- 00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:22,121 I don't know the rules! Maybe you're just dying
- 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,789 because you've been in here too long!
- 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:25,041 Interesting theory.
- 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,792 I wonder why you're so rosy-cheeked.
- 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,252 What are you saying?
- 00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:30,046 Maybe the real you is off somewhere running from spiders.
- 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,464 Oh, so now I'm not real?
- 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,382 Yeah, maybe my greatest fear is having to tell you to
- 00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:34,717 fuck the fuck off.
- 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,052 Go ahead and face it! Fuck the fuck off!
- 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,845 Hey. Ready to Showbiz Pizza?
- 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,889 Let me see that bear play banjo!
- 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:40,931 Here's one for ya.
- 00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:42,725 I'm afraid of watching you die.
- 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:46,270 I like that theory, Morty. So stop watching.
- 00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,359 Okay, this is it. You nailed it.
- 00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:55,196 My worst nightmare. I'd like to leave The Hole now.
- 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,907 Hey. Hey, Hole, I'm talking to you.
- 00:10:57,907 --> 00:10:59,909 Are you listening?
- 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,084 [ Thunder crashes ]
- 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,378 So, what are you, like, the Hole?
- 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,754 The Hole's promoter?
- 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,422 The Hole's intern? Is there a hole here?
- 00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:16,092 Right, I'm supposed to go in there and be shocked
- 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,761 that there's no hole, or that there is a hole?
- 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:19,929 What difference would it make?
- 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,139 Hm, you are hard to scare.
- 00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:23,474 And Rick isn't, right?
- 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,434 The Hole's gonna, like, suck on him forever
- 00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:28,479 because his big secret is that he's got the most fear?
- 00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,314 Well, we can certainly say you're not afraid
- 00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:31,482 to be reductive.
- 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,275 I doubt your grandpa has "more" fear
- 00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,027 than the average asshole in a Denny's.
- 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,237 Man: Hey! Sorry.
- 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:37,738 If anything, he seems pretty brave.
- 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,448 He's certainly not afraid to die.
- 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:42,952 Maybe that makes his fear extra delicious.
- 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,289 So, what, he's scared of love?
- 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,166 Everyone's scared of love, dipshit.
- 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,376 You'll learn that in your '20s.
- 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,545 It takes a very rare, very powerful
- 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,172 being to be terrified of happiness.
- 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:56,882 Dumb. You're dumb.
- 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,259 That's why you're not scared to be happy.
- 00:11:58,259 --> 00:11:59,635 The smarter you are, the more you know.
- 00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:02,346 Happiness is a trap. It can't last forever.
- 00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:03,973 Let's say you meet the love of your life,
- 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,516 well, it's still gonna end.
- 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:08,686 It's inevitable, whether by the slow pull of a disease,
- 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,896 or the shock of loose footing on a hiking trail,
- 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:13,149 whether it be the corrosion of two personalities
- 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,609 that reshape each other until they're incompatible,
- 00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:16,986 or maybe the old stranger in a bar
- 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,821 who says the things that need to be said,
- 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:21,198 to that person, that night.
- 00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:24,660 The point is, happiness always ends.
- 00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:26,495 Best case scenario, think about this.
- 00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:30,791 Best case is that you die at the same time.
- 00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:31,959 Yikes.
- 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,335 Can't the Hole just let me go then?
- 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,004 Sounds like I don't matter. You don't.
- 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,755 But if you go, you'll take him away.
- 00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:37,965 Don't worry.
- 00:12:37,965 --> 00:12:39,425 Rick will die before accepting happiness.
- 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,802 After that, we'll chase you with some clowns
- 00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:43,387 or some dumb shit like that.
- 00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:44,847 But Grandpa...[ Chuckles ]
- 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,600 Yummy, yummy. Grandpa's gonna die.
- 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,852 Just like Diane.
- 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,187 [ Thunder crashes ]
- 00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,230 [ Laughs ]
- 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:56,358 [ Thunder crashes ]
- 00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:59,028 Sir, you've been in this booth for a really long time.
- 00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:00,529 One coffee isn't gonna cut it.
- 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:02,698 That's fair. Want to split some pancake puppies?
- 00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:03,949 No!
- 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,661 [ Screams ] Beth! Summer? Anyone!
- 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:09,038 Dad, it's not real. Neither are you.
- 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,707 If that's true, then you deal with it!
- 00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:14,168 You know what? You're right.
- 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:17,463 [ Screams ] How about this?
- 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,881 Morty! What are you doing?
- 00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:20,841 Being scared!
- 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,968 [ Screaming ]
- 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:24,595 [ Gulps ]
- 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,305 How is that not enough fear?
- 00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:28,224 You're the one scaring <i>me,</i> Morty!
- 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,600 No, no, Dad, it's okay.
- 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,228 It's not okay! That wasn't normal!
- 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,896 [ Rumbling ]
- 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:37,399 My greatest fear is not being accepted.
- 00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:38,776 It should be!
- 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,028 And you need to fear it a hell of a lot more!
- 00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:42,404 [ Rumbling ]
- 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:43,864 I can do that.
- 00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,866 You like that? Do you want to die?
- 00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:50,246 I have enough unaddressed trauma to flood this hallway.
- 00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,206 You fuckin' idiot, this list says
- 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,959 "Top Five Things", and you only wrote down four.
- 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,002 [ Laughter ]
- 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,380 [ Rumbling ]
- 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:02,258 Trust fall!
- 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,843 None of us touch or speak to this kid ever.
- 00:14:04,843 --> 00:14:06,262 [ Rumbling ]
- 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,681 Morty: Maybe take a picture, send it to your friends?
- 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,432 Huh. Not a bad idea. [ Rumbling ]
- 00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:13,310 How can we do the school play if Johnny has laryngitis?
- 00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:14,687 There's no understudy!
- 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:17,273 Put me in the play. You don't know the lines.
- 00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,817 Yes, I do. "Three Days of Rain."
- 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,193 I have it memorized.
- 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,945 And I refuse to prove that until you cast me.
- 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:25,447 Have it your way, but <i>The New York Times</i> is coming,
- 00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:27,700 and they're doing a feature on the current state
- 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,243 of young American theater.
- 00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,287 [ Rumbling ]
- 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,788 Perfect.
- 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,623 It ended in a church? What?
- 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:38,127 Yeah, they'd already died. It was purgatory or something.
- 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:39,878 How did your universe's version end?
- 00:14:39,878 --> 00:14:42,172 Mm, Jack, Locke, and Sawyer teamed up to kill a fog monster
- 00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:43,799 and everyone got rescued.
- 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,010 It was one season long, and it was perfect television.
- 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,637 You can be great or you can be around forever, right?
- 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:54,184 True. True.
- 00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:54,184 Where's this going?
- 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,812 We doing robot role play? I've got oil at home.
- 00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:58,147 [ Rumbling ]
- 00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,315 What was that? True. True. True. True.
- 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,649 Diane. Diane? Diane?
- 00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,318 Hey. Stay with me. Diane. Diane.
- 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,611 Diane? Rick?
- 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:04,820 What's happening?
- 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,739 Fuckin' Morty! He's trying to hog the hole.
- 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,532 Come on!
- 00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:18,709 Alas, our father is dead.
- 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,794 Walker, are you here?
- 00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:22,046 [ Crowd gasping ]
- 00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:26,508 Uh, hi. I'm Walker. Uh...
- 00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:28,594 Sure has been raining
- 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,721 a lot of days.
- 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,222 [ Rumbling ]
- 00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:33,849 What the fuck is he doing?
- 00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:35,517 [ Groans ] What's wrong with him?
- 00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:36,685 He's naked.
- 00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:39,855 And why does he look sick?
- 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:42,775 Because he's dying.
- 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:43,817 Fuck.
- 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,903 I got to get him out of here.
- 00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,696 But if I do, I might have to go with him.
- 00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:50,282 I don't want to. I don't want to, Diane,
- 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,034 I think my greatest fear is letting you go.
- 00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:55,037 That's a good fear, Rick. Keep that fear.
- 00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,997 If you don't, you'll kill me.
- 00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,499 Again.
- 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,709 I know. But I don't have to kill Morty, too.
- 00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,544 How do you know he's even real?
- 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:05,798 Look at his weird little balls.
- 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,591 Goodbye, Diane.
- 00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:09,343 [ Gasping ]
- 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,221 Rick! Shut up Morty.
- 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:15,140 DJ, drop that beat. We got to conquer a fear!
- 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,892 [ Music playing ]
- 00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,060 ♪ This is my grandson ♪
- 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,353 ♪ Don't look at his pee-pee ♪
- 00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:20,729 ♪ Instead of staring at Morty ♪
- 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,106 ♪ Put your eyes on me-me ♪
- 00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,399 ♪ I'm a roped-out freak ♪
- 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,775 ♪ Loose dog in my ass ♪
- 00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:25,984 ♪ Macaroni in my pocket ♪
- 00:16:25,984 --> 00:16:27,569 ♪ Rickity masterclass ♪
- 00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:28,862 ♪ I don't know how to rap ♪
- 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:30,239 ♪ I don't know how to rhyme ♪
- 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,074 ♪ I don't know how to rap ♪
- 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:34,535 ♪ Now eat my shit! ♪
- 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:35,828 Incredible.
- 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,079 ♪ Now throw your hands up! ♪
- 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,372 ♪ And put your hands down ♪
- 00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:39,873 ♪ Throw your hands up ♪
- 00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,291 ♪ Now put them back down ♪
- 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:44,211 ♪ Three days of rain ♪
- 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,255 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,924 That was an astounding feat of personal bravery.
- 00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:52,302 Nudity always makes theater serious and good.
- 00:16:52,302 --> 00:16:53,595 How do you feel?
- 00:16:53,595 --> 00:16:55,347 Accepted. You?
- 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,599 Pathetic. But...
- 00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:58,851 happy?
- 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,270 [ Rumbling ]
- 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:11,780 [ Gasping ]
- 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,575 We did it! We conquered our fears.
- 00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:15,909 Right?
- 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,164 Uh, hey, Rick.
- 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:23,208 You just looked real sad, which I'm afraid of.
- 00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:26,170 You know, of being responsible for your sadness.
- 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:29,465 Which means, I think we might still be in The Hole.
- 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,425 Huh. Well, I am definitely afraid
- 00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,343 of you ever knowing anything before me.
- 00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:37,806 So, yeah, I'd say there's a 100% chance that we're still--
- 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:40,434 God damn it. Is this going to be a whole thing?
- 00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,227 No word play, Morty. We have to figure out
- 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:43,979 our actual fears if we're ever going to get out of here.
- 00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:45,439 Actual fears? Yeah.
- 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,191 Tell me your fuckin' fear so we can conquer it.
- 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,567 I just had to crucify myself
- 00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,486 in order to save you from your Hole wife,
- 00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:53,197 and you think I'm the one with unresolved fears?
- 00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,157 I ought to be afraid that we'll never get out,
- 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,701 because you'll never admit that you're afraid!
- 00:17:58,660 --> 00:18:00,120 [ Both groan ]
- 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,790 Okay. Good job. You conquered it, right?
- 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:05,167 I think so. How are we supposed to know?
- 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,668 No, no, this is real. I can tell.
- 00:18:06,668 --> 00:18:08,504 You're not afraid that you could be certain
- 00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:12,508 about something and still turn out to be wrong?
- 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,009 [ Groans ] You cowardly asshole!
- 00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:15,803 How was I supposed to know?!
- 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,723 $8 for a side of bacon!
- 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,809 [ Groans ] Are you fucking kidding me?!
- 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,685 It's a symptom of a larger concern, Morty.
- 00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,020 If capitalism collapses--
- 00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:26,647 Are we done here? I don't know.
- 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,190 Aren't you a little afraid at this point
- 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,192 of The Hole itself? What? [ Gasps ]
- 00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,194 I swear to God, if we're still climbing out of this
- 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,029 fucking Hole two seasons from now.
- 00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:35,447 Maybe that was it. What?
- 00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:38,325 Maybe we needed to let go of our fear of uncertainty.
- 00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:39,952 You know? Right.
- 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,329 I'd say we're pretty native to that at this point.
- 00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,248 Okay, thank you, Hole! Thank you, Hole!
- 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:46,583 We no longer need to know if we're in you.
- 00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:49,378 So, bye.
- 00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,219 Are you afraid we're still in it?
- 00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,720 I mean, I hope we're not,
- 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,931 but if we are-- We'll find out eventually.
- 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,266 Which no longer scares me.
- 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:05,477 Same. Okay. I'm gonna go get drunk.
- 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,354 {\an8}♪
- 00:19:07,354 --> 00:19:13,235 ♪ Move on they say, you'll feel better with time ♪
- 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:18,198 ♪ But time alone can't heal this heart of mine ♪
- 00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:25,873 ♪ You can't go back, that's the only rule ♪
- 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:31,587 ♪ But rules were meant to break when it comes to you ♪
- 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:38,176 ♪ I saw time and time slip by when I withdrew ♪
- 00:19:38,176 --> 00:19:44,141 ♪ I wandered far and wide without you ♪
- 00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:46,935 ♪ Without you ♪
- 00:19:46,935 --> 00:19:57,613 {\an8}♪
- 00:19:57,613 --> 00:20:04,119 ♪ So I bury my dead, and I try to start again ♪
- 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:10,292 ♪ But it will never be the same as it was back then ♪
- 00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:16,465 ♪ I've seen time and time slip by, but I'll make do ♪
- 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,342 ♪ 'Cause I won't live my life ♪
- 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:21,303 Oh, my God! I've turned into my dad!
- 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,931 Oh, maybe there's no way out.
- 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,599 Maybe we were born here.
- 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,726 [ Groans ] Come on. We're gonna get through this.
- 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,269 I'm staying here.
- 00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:32,189 No. We're Rick and Morty. I'm not leaving without you.
- 00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:33,357 What did you say?
- 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,816 I said I'm not leaving you in here.
- 00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:36,526 Come on. You're irreplaceable...
- 00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:39,029 [ Echoing ] irreplaceable... irreplaceable...
- 00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,781 What? Oh, my God!
- 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,324 I know what I'm afraid of.
- 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,534 I'm afraid you'd never say that in real life.
- 00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:46,495 I'm afraid that if I jumped into a hole,
- 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:48,664 you wouldn't even bother jumping in after me.
- 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,499 You'd just stand there and watch.
- 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,834 This entire thing has been about me.
- 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:57,172 You're not even in the Hole, are you?
- 00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:59,216 Thank you for visiting the Fear Hole, Morty.
- 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:02,970 Your fear of relying on Rick has been delicious.
- 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,639 Dear God!
- 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,850 Rick: Morty! How was it?
- 00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:10,143 Was it spiders?
- 00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:13,438 Oh. Oh, jeez. Oh, my God, no.
- 00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,524 You-- You didn't go in at all?
- 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:16,942 No, it's a one-person ride.
- 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,819 You can't face two fears at the same time.
- 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,279 If my fear was fire and yours was water--
- 00:21:21,279 --> 00:21:23,699 I get it. It's fine.
- 00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:26,702 It really is fine. Huh.
- 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:29,079 You do seem a little less burdened.
- 00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:31,748 Rick, am I irreplaceable?
- 00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:34,376 I mean, define irreplaceable.
- 00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:37,212 That's good. Good.
- 00:21:37,212 --> 00:21:38,839 I'm back.
- 00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:41,049 Don't! Or I won't know if I'm out!
- 00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:42,217 Is it that good?
- 00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,468 Should I go in? No!
- 00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:45,137 You holdin' out on me?
- 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:46,847 You don't want to deal with it, Rick.
- 00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:49,141 There was messed-up mental shit in there.
- 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,392 Like, Diane was in there.
- 00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,144 What? Not in a good way.
- 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,603 Just trust me.
- 00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:56,857 Okay, buddy. Let's go slam some pancakes.
- 00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:01,486 [ Panting ]
- 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:45,405 {\an8}♪
- 00:22:45,405 --> 00:22:47,365 Ooh-whee. How bout that?
- 00:22:47,365 --> 00:22:48,909 Season 7!
- 00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:51,536 It was touch and go there for a second.
- 00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:53,955 Remember when I stole my kid?
- 00:22:53,955 --> 00:22:57,167 I stole one of these, too!
- 00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,838 It's all about having a goal
- 00:23:01,838 --> 00:23:04,633 and stopping at nothing to achieve it!
- 00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:07,469 Then you'll be fulfilled!
- 00:23:14,267 --> 00:23:15,727 Did you get any of that?