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После многократного убийства и воскрешения Джерри в ходе эксперимента Рик подтверждает существование загробной жизни и наличие у него бесконечного количества энергии. Рик и Морти отправляются в Норвегию, чтобы Рик мог попасть в Вальхаллу, но он приказывает Бигфуту убить его, поскольку тот должен быть убит великим воином. Рик входит в Вальхаллу, чтобы собрать энергию, но тут появляется Морти, убитый Бигфутом. Викинги, считая их ведьмами, нападают на Рика, пока он не убеждает их, что он Один. Тем временем Бигфут преследует дикого клона Рика, но попадает в плен к Папе Римскому, который использует его для уничтожения всех врагов церкви. Когда Рик и Морти возвращаются, Бигфут заключает с ними сделку, чтобы остановить Папу. Папа, получив энергию из загробной жизни, убивает их, но они воскресают, используя операцию «Феникс», превращая Бигфута в человека. После того, как Рику не удалось остановить Папу Римского с помощью графа Дракулы, монстра Франкенштейна, Человека-волка, Мумии и Человека-амфибии, он обманом заставляет викингов отключить источник энергии после их побега, лишив Папу Римского его сил. После того, как Рик заточает Папу в покебол, Рик и Морти отправляют Бигфута обратно в лес, несмотря на то, что тот теперь человек.
- 00:00:04,587 --> 00:00:06,464 Hello? Hello?
- 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,094 - Hello, Jerry. - Nana!
- 00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:13,054 Are you ready to come to the light?
- 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,598 I’m not sure. Where’s Pop Pop?
- 00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:17,934 He’s not coming out to meet you anymore
- 00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:20,979 because honestly Jerry, this is getting annoying.
- 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:24,399 It’s not my fault! My father in law asked me to help him gather data and...
- 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,444 Not again!
- 00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,612 Okay, run diagnostics.
- 00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:34,701 Holy shit, this is consistent. This is real.
- 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,703 What have you done? You’ve got my grandparents
- 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:39,289 - pissed at me. - They’ll forgive you because...
- 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:42,125 they’re zero mass fields of consciousness preserved
- 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:45,086 by a paradimensional layer of infinite energy.
- 00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:47,255 Morty, there’s kind of a heaven! Kind of!
- 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:50,091 I mean there definitely is for a neurotypical like your father.
- 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,677 His conscious connection to a localized cultural model
- 00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:55,138 of infinity functions like a wick, sucking his little mind
- 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,890 straight towards a source of energy strong enough
- 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,642 - to support collective projection. - Great, so there’s a heaven.
- 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:02,729 Glad you could learn that by murdering me eight times.
- 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,147 He’s got kind of a point, Rick.
- 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,858 If you want to get into heaven, can’t you just stop being an asshole?
- 00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:09,652 First of all, I don’t want to “get into” anywhere,
- 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:11,529 I want to tap this paradimension’s energy.
- 00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:14,908 Secondly, you wouldn’t catch me dead in Jerry’s generic-ass nineteen eighties
- 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:16,493 concrete and fog machine heaven.
- 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,828 Well guess what, you aren’t welcome there!
- 00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:21,623 You raise a good point, Jerry, obviously by accident.
- 00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:23,500 My intact consciousness is too atheistic
- 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,752 to get channeled to any afterlife worth robbing.
- 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,128 It’s a paradox.
- 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,130 Unless...
- 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:33,468 Morty, pack your parka. We’re going to Norway.
- 00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,721 Or I can augment your skin with subdermal heaters...
- 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:37,847 I’ll pack a parka.
- 00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:12,882 {\an8}Infinite energy, Morty. You don’t even know how to appreciate that
- 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,676 {\an8}because you’ve never been in energy debt.
- 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:16,010 {\an8}Fuck you, I’ve been tired.
- 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,721 {\an8}Perfect! I’m going to Valhalla, Morty!
- 00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,640 {\an8}Your grandpa’s going to be the first Valhallanaut!
- 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,058 {\an8}Feel the excitement!
- 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:25,520 {\an8}Getting back will be easy. Once the machine turns on,
- 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,230 {\an8}I’ll have set up the other side of the relay.
- 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,065 {\an8}Phoenix protocol initiated.
- 00:02:29,065 --> 00:02:31,359 {\an8}Just hit that big red button to pull me into this body.
- 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:34,737 {\an8}But how are you getting there? I refuse to kill you again.
- 00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:38,116 {\an8}I’m desensitized, Rick. I took some kind of test in school
- 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,618 {\an8}and the counselor had to call Homeland Security.
- 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:41,744 {\an8}Not your problem, Morty.
- 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,247 {\an8}I need to die in glorious battle against a mighty enemy.
- 00:02:44,789 --> 00:02:46,875 {\an8}That’s why I got Bigfoot in this Pokeball.
- 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:48,084 {\an8}Bigfoot is your enemy?
- 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:50,587 {\an8}Well, I doubt he’s a fan, I stuffed him into a ball.
- 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,255 {\an8}I mess with him all the time.
- 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,340 {\an8}These Vikings don’t have real tight bylaws, Morty.
- 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:57,844 {\an8}This is basically their equivalent of Native American burial grounds.
- 00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,221 {\an8}Bigfoot’s dumb enough to attack whatever’s in front of him.
- 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,848 {\an8}And all I gotta do is die.
- 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,225 {\an8}What happens to Bigfoot after?
- 00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:08,396 {\an8}Morty, Bigfoot is a B story. The A story is he kills me and you hit the button.
- 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,689 {\an8}- Got it? - Got it.
- 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,775 {\an8}Alright, let’s do this!
- 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:41,971 {\an8}Oh snap, I did it! Valhalla baby! I’m Dead Rick!
- 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:46,309 {\an8}Oh, shit, I’m dead Rick.
- 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:55,485 {\an8}Welcome to Valhalla, brother. We thought all Vikings had perished.
- 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:59,489 {\an8}Nope. I was a straggler. How’s it work here again?
- 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:03,493 {\an8}We fight! We die! We feast! And then we fight again!
- 00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:05,912 Cheers everybody, cheers!
- 00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:09,749 So, is there a time window between battles
- 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:11,960 where a guy could go off and, I don’t know,
- 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:13,503 gather resources?
- 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,005 Yes, now you’ll receive your armor.
- 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,008 Knock knock.
- 00:04:20,259 --> 00:04:22,720 You’re a new arrival. What do you require?
- 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,014 Honestly, I’d love to take most of your tools.
- 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:27,350 I’d planned on starting from scratch, but you’re, like,
- 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,061 way past the Iron Age here, saves me a lot of time.
- 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,397 I make only the finest for Valhalla.
- 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,065 Beautiful hammer.
- 00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:37,026 So, in Valhalla, what happens when we get knocked out?
- 00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:38,945 - Then we’re just knocked out. - Cool.
- 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,864 Is that a thing Vikings love?
- 00:04:50,289 --> 00:04:51,749 Oh God, brutal.
- 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:02,510 Wait, what? Bigfoot, do you have religion?
- 00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:08,057 <i>You understand me, don’t you? Does Rick do this to you all the time?</i>
- 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:11,602 <i>He messes with me too.</i>
- 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:15,356 Easy there, big guy. Easy.
- 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,087 Oh, shit!
- 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,218 Look at this little one!
- 00:05:44,218 --> 00:05:48,097 You must be made of piss and dragon balls to reach Valhalla at your age!
- 00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:51,476 Yeah, man! Dragon Balls all day.
- 00:05:51,976 --> 00:05:54,771 Have you seen an old skinny guy around here?
- 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:55,938 Of course!
- 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,067 But wait, where did that guy go? He should have his armor by now.
- 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,613 What in the mighty whale’s wooden cock?
- 00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:06,949 The old man! He’s some kind of witch!
- 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,160 A friend of yours?
- 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,245 What? Why would I be friends with a witch?
- 00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:12,622 - I was just asking! - Well...
- 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:15,625 that’s really offensive, man! What is this, Judgmenthalla?
- 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,585 I don’t know until I ask, alright?
- 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,128 Somebody around here gonna make me some pants
- 00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:21,214 or do I have to call the feds on this place?
- 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:25,593 Surrender, witch!
- 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:29,305 Easy, guys. This was all a test and you passed.
- 00:06:29,305 --> 00:06:30,306 I’m actually Odin.
- 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,557 - Odin? - Yep!
- 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,643 Thor’s father, Spiderman’s uncle, et cetera.
- 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,645 I came here to do like an undercover boss thing,
- 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:39,107 making sure Valhalla's running smooth, which it is, and as your reward,
- 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:42,151 I’m assembling this majestic transdimensional energy relay
- 00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:44,487 which none of you should ever touch or it’ll make your...
- 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,448 goats have hemorrhoids, understood?
- 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,742 And you need nothing from us?
- 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,661 I’m only here a few hours, but since you’re asking
- 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:54,872 I’d kill for a beer and a sandwich. Beef, cheese, no onions.
- 00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,165 - is someone writing this down? - Ow my balls!
- 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:59,460 - Ow my balls, ow my balls! - Morty? Why are you here?
- 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,629 You are friends with the witch!
- 00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:05,508 What the fuck, Morty! You’re my ride home!
- 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,844 Bigfoot killed me! He killed you, he killed me,
- 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,470 and he was going to kill your clone.
- 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,514 No, Morty no!
- 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:14,225 I opened the cage. Bigfoot was burying your body.
- 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,477 - He was mourning you! - He does that.
- 00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:18,855 Morty, any big idiot can pretend to believe in the afterlife,
- 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,857 that’s why we’re dealing with these fucking guys.
- 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:23,317 They’re just Norwegian Bigfoots. Jesus Christ!
- 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,319 Run this cable over there. We don’t have much time.
- 00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:39,834 <i>Hull breach imminent. Initiating survival protocol.</i>
- 00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:16,370 We’ll take it from here.
- 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:19,790 {\an8}And who are you? CIA? Interpol?
- 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,084 We work for the man upstairs.
- 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,757 Hello, Bigfoot. I’m The Pope.
- 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,176 I’m sure you don’t know what that means.
- 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:33,471 Which is why I’ve been so eager to acquire you.
- 00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:38,267 The Church, you see, has many enemies, but also many rules.
- 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:41,354 We can’t kill. We can’t command a man to kill.
- 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,147 But you are not a man.
- 00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:46,651 You are a thinking beast from outside God’s domain,
- 00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:50,696 which will make you the Vatican’s greatest weapon.
- 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,157 Your holiness, he is wild. He can’t be controlled.
- 00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:55,993 But we know what he wants.
- 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:03,876 Yes, my child. Yes. You will have your naked imbecile.
- 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,463 But first you will work for me.
- 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:12,969 Morty! Heads up! Incoming wave.
- 00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:20,935 Clear!
- 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,771 - They’re sending more every time. - It’s fine!
- 00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:26,691 I’ll upgrade the turret’s rate of fire, but I need to finish this relay.
- 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,526 You need to figure out how to get us back to life!
- 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,152 Without my infinite energy?
- 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,946 I don’t think you’re thinking this through, Morty.
- 00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,490 If we manage to get home, we don’t get another shot at this.
- 00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:37,118 You think the next time these idiots see a naked man on the battlefield
- 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,160 they’re gonna give him a beer?
- 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:41,914 So you’d rather stay dead until you win than live as a loser?
- 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,000 Maybe you belong here with these idiots.
- 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,210 Yeah! I could probably teach hem how to hit a red button!
- 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,628 I said I was sorry.
- 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:51,549 And I said keep killing them while I finish the relay.
- 00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,884 And I will get us back home. Okay?
- 00:09:54,510 --> 00:09:55,428 Okay!
- 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:27,543 Okay, I’m done here. Ready to get back to living?
- 00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:28,544 Yeah, but how?
- 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,921 Morty, infinite energy means infinite energy.
- 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:33,883 All I have to do is pull a lever to send us back home into new bodies.
- 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:35,885 Then voila! No more need for crystals.
- 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,221 But the second we turn our back those guys are just going to trash this place.
- 00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,182 Morty. Ye of little faith.
- 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,602 Do we even need to attack him?
- 00:10:57,656 --> 00:11:00,368 I told you I was Odin, you faithless heretics!
- 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,411 And I’ll keep blowing you up in this pit forever
- 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,997 unless you follow these commandments. Spiderman?
- 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:07,750 There’s ten of them, but they basically
- 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,628 revolve around not going near the energy relay.
- 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:14,006 Is anybody going to go near the energy relay?
- 00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:18,010 Okay. You have pleased me. I’ll get you guys...
- 00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:19,762 some kind of a ladder.
- 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,431 Target is in sight.
- 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:25,184 Excellent. Release the bait.
- 00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:30,731 I just love worshipping the devil with you guys.
- 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:51,127 Who are you? Only The Pope wants to kill us but he can't kill...
- 00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:56,382 Yes. Very good.
- 00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:59,510 But we can do even better.
- 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:08,060 You work for the Vatican! Our enemies are your enemies!
- 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,736 Yes! Yes!
- 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:26,203 Here, my sweet. This will help you communicate.
- 00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:29,540 I traded a Predator three muskets for it.
- 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,375 So it is their currency?
- 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,044 <i>Give me what you promised.</i>
- 00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:36,797 Yes, child, you’ve earned it.
- 00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:39,800 Alright, Morty! Wanna grab a mead for the road?
- 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,052 - I’m good. - Then, here we go!
- 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:52,021 Man, I take back everything bad I said about clone vats.
- 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,689 There’s a method to the madness, Morty.
- 00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:58,360 And now... infinite energy, baby!
- 00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:01,697 What the...
- 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:04,575 Someone’s hacking into the Earth bound side of my relay, Morty.
- 00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:07,369 Pretty crazy! Whoever’s doing this would have to be a spiritual leader
- 00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:08,871 with limitless resources.
- 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:10,789 In fact, I guess there’s only really one.
- 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:16,795 <i>You’re fucked.</i>
- 00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:22,927 <i>It is over. My torment ends now.</i>
- 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,308 What the hell? Are you seriously working for the Pope?
- 00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:33,395 <i>The pope saw my potential. Prepare to be crushed by bigfoot.</i>
- 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,402 Don’t worry, Morty. I’ve got this under control.
- 00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:44,823 Jesus Christ, Rick, just apologize.
- 00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:47,451 You assumed Bigfoot was dumb. Which was dumb of you.
- 00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:50,579 You’re right, Morty. Underestimating people only gives them the high ground.
- 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,040 <i>Admit why you bullied me.</i>
- 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,376 Because I thought it was funny that you were stupid.
- 00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:58,712 <i>People are intelligent in different ways.</i>
- 00:13:58,712 --> 00:14:02,508 I know, I know! I’m clearly stupid at knowing when other people are smart.
- 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,929 Listen! I know you can’t tap your gauntlet,
- 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,931 but I’ll take a guess at what you’re saying.
- 00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,433 You hate me because I tortured you to get what I want.
- 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:14,353 - Rick! - But I only used you to kill myself!
- 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,647 How many people have you killed for the Pope?
- 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:19,942 Help me stop him and I’ll make it right.
- 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,319 For starters, here.
- 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,739 <i>That hurt. Wait a second...</i>
- 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:28,576 Yeah, hands-free. Also upgraded that voice.
- 00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:33,122 <i>Thank you. In a world, where time actually is money.</i>
- 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,623 I think I know this movie.
- 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:36,625 You guys can do this bit at the Vatican. Let’s go.
- 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,130 Hey, Bigfoot. Whatcha got back there?
- 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:42,506 <i>Rick and Morty.</i>
- 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,801 <i>Dead. For pope.</i>
- 00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:47,303 Aye, that’s them.
- 00:14:48,887 --> 00:14:52,308 Alright, last thing! I just gotta take a sharp stick
- 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:55,227 and stab them both. That’s just the rules.
- 00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:01,859 Sorry, Morty! So much for the quiet way.
- 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,320 - I appreciate that we tried. <i>- It’s a fucked-up rule.</i>
- 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,246 Pope!
- 00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:19,460 It’s over, the Pope! We got you.
- 00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:25,924 See, this is why religion sucks.
- 00:15:25,924 --> 00:15:28,886 Infinite energy and the Pope uses it to levitate like Criss Angel.
- 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,725 Alright, wow! Not how I saw that going.
- 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:38,687 I guess getting killed by the energy sent us up the conduit to its source.
- 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,023 Hey guys.
- 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,691 - Oh fuck! - No, no!
- 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:46,153 Just need some clothes and horses. Maybe not for Bigfoot.
- 00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,030 Unless he wants clothes?
- 00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,702 Excuse me, Lord Odin...
- 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,830 - Is this a test? - Yup yup! You passed!
- 00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:06,757 Feet so small.
- 00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,258 Why is he in a clone of Summer?
- 00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:11,011 Statistically speaking, she’s the third most likely to die.
- 00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:13,013 Alright, let’s kill that sonofabitch.
- 00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:14,807 Hold on, I can see where this is going.
- 00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:26,151 Pope!
- 00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:53,095 I gotta admit, Morty. I didn’t really fight that time,
- 00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:54,430 I wanted to make sure this worked.
- 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:57,474 - Hand-some. - You like that? Bigger feet!
- 00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:59,268 Even gave your brain a little more lobe.
- 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,187 - Thank you! Me love it. Me... - Dial it back!
- 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:03,897 You don’t wanna come across like a Muppet.
- 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,237 Pope!
- 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:23,542 Maybe we just portal right up close to the guy
- 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,043 instead of doing the guards every time.
- 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:26,503 Yeah.
- 00:17:37,055 --> 00:17:38,390 Maybe bigger chin?
- 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,975 Look at this. He’s fucking giving notes.
- 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:42,811 Bigfoot, come on, we need you to put a little more fight in.
- 00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:45,522 If need help, Bigfoot do know some guys.
- 00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:48,484 Pope has... other monsters captive.
- 00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:52,696 Man, you guys really don’t quit. I can do this all day.
- 00:17:52,696 --> 00:17:54,364 Yeah, but these guys can do it.
- 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,409 All night!
- 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:08,629 Big anti-climax!
- 00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:10,756 Mummy, you look good!
- 00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,217 This afterlife smells like beer.
- 00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,886 I guess this is what infinite energy looks like. Fuck.
- 00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:19,306 Really wish we had time to unpack all of Frankenstein’s parts making it here.
- 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,434 Bigfoot, take these guys up to the relay and prepare for a siege.
- 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:23,602 What are you gonna do, Rick?
- 00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:26,105 Listen, I’m not really your god.
- 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,357 Just an old man who wanted to cheat your system.
- 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,983 Guys like me think we can run the joint
- 00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:32,820 because everyone is so dumb. But it’s a dumb universe.
- 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:34,947 I work for you. The customer is always right.
- 00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:37,157 Gimme ten Viking minutes after we leave,
- 00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:39,451 and then pull the plug on that windmill we made over there.
- 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,454 And this isn’t a trick?
- 00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:43,872 Is your mother’s pussy a trick?
- 00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:46,083 - Kick his ass! - Go Morty, go!
- 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,335 Why the hell did you do that?
- 00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:50,921 The only way to end this is by turning off the power, Morty!
- 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:53,757 - But we have to get home! - That’s what these guys are for!
- 00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:57,135 Monsters, hold the line! Everyone but Bigfoot!
- 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,517 That wasn’t them leaving, right?
- 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,769 No way. That vould be cold-blooded.
- 00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:09,273 Pope!
- 00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:13,610 Who do you-a bring this time? The Harlem Globetrotters?
- 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:14,945 That’s actually a good pitch.
- 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,196 It’s over for you, Pope!
- 00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,448 Time to atone for your sins.
- 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,326 Bigfoot, you were God’s greatest assassin.
- 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:24,288 Now look at you. Hairless. With normal feet.
- 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:25,581 Yes!
- 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,834 Rick, the energy relay’s still up!
- 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,253 Shit, was really counting on those monsters to lose faster.
- 00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,632 That’s more like it. Pour one out for the Wolfman.
- 00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:38,302 - I don’t-a understand. - Ya know what they say...
- 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,637 When God closes an infinite energy relay
- 00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:43,599 No! Goddamnit!
- 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:54,568 Alright, I’m just gonna say it so nobody else has to say it.
- 00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,779 - Popey ball. There. - Okay.
- 00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,823 If I didn’t say anything, someone was gonna be like
- 00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,658 “You missed Popey ball, it was right there”.
- 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,703 I thought about not using a Pokeball because of that,
- 00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,788 but it’s the right tool for the right job.
- 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:09,958 What, am I supposed to not use it and shoot the Pope in the head?
- 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:12,294 I was gonna say it.
- 00:20:14,671 --> 00:20:16,590 Wait, why are we at the woods?
- 00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:19,009 Time to go on home, big fella.
- 00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,846 - Okay. - You’re free. Just go!
- 00:20:22,846 --> 00:20:25,557 - You guys are being weird. - Stop making this so hard for us!
- 00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:27,976 Go on! Why can’t you go back where you came from?
- 00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:31,271 You don’t have to throw things at me to say goodbye.
- 00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:32,439 Just go!
- 00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:36,109 I’m not an animal anymore, I was hoping I could...
- 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:37,819 I could get a job and...
- 00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:39,613 - Go on git! - Get out of here!
- 00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:43,992 I’m going, okay? Stop throwing things!
- 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,203 - Go! - Okay, I’m leaving.
- 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:47,829 - Get out of here! - Go on, get!
- 00:21:40,298 --> 00:21:43,093 - What kind of sick sons of bitches... - These things are trained to fight.
- 00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:44,636 I don’t want to hear it, Henderson.
- 00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:47,764 What year is it? Who’s the Pope?
- 00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:50,058 Shit if I know. Lemme check.
- 00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:52,227 This guy, apparently.
- 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:57,065 No!
- 00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:05,320 Ау?
- 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:06,540 Ау!
- 00:00:08,690 --> 00:00:10,290 Здравствуй, Джерри.
- 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:11,100 Бабуля!
- 00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:13,080 Ты готов пойти на свет?
- 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,800 Ну, даже не знаю. А где дедушка?
- 00:00:15,860 --> 00:00:18,000 Он больше не будет выходить к тебе.
- 00:00:18,020 --> 00:00:21,050 Если честно, Джерри, это уже начинает раздражать.
- 00:00:21,070 --> 00:00:24,580 Я не виноват. Мой тесть попросил помочь ему собрать данные и...
- 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,950 Ну вот опять...
- 00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:29,720 Так, запускай диагностику.
- 00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:34,750 Охренеть! Чёткие показания. Оно существует!
- 00:00:34,770 --> 00:00:37,380 Чё ты наделал? Бабушка с дедушкой злятся на меня!
- 00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,260 Они тебя простят, потому что...
- 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,740 Они, по сути, безмассовые поля сознания
- 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:45,050 которые удерживаются посредством пара-мерного слоя бесконечной энергии?
- 00:00:45,210 --> 00:00:47,360 Морти, подобие рая существует. Подобие.
- 00:00:47,390 --> 00:00:50,100 Он точно существует у таких нейротипичных людей, как твой отец.
- 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:54,170 Связь его сознания с локальной культурной моделью вечности служит этаким фитилём,
- 00:00:54,190 --> 00:00:58,520 затягивая его крошечный разум к источнику энергии, достаточного, чтобы подпитывать коллективный образ.
- 00:00:58,650 --> 00:00:59,760 Класс, рай существует.
- 00:00:59,980 --> 00:01:02,780 Здорово, что ради этих знаний ты убил меня всего восемь раз.
- 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,220 В чём-то он прав, Рик.
- 00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:06,820 Если хочешь проникнуть в рай, просто не будь мудаком.
- 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,630 Во-первых, не хочу я никуда проникать.
- 00:01:09,690 --> 00:01:11,580 Я хочу стырить эту пара-мерную энергию.
- 00:01:11,630 --> 00:01:13,250 Во-вторых, я не собираюсь торчать
- 00:01:13,270 --> 00:01:16,510 в унылой шаблонной версии рая из 80-х с небом цвета бетона и дым-машиной.
- 00:01:16,530 --> 00:01:18,860 А знаешь что? Тебе там не рады!
- 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,590 Дело говоришь, Джерри. Конечно же, непредумышленно.
- 00:01:21,653 --> 00:01:25,883 Мои атеистические убеждения не дадут подрубиться к загробной жизни, которую можно грабануть.
- 00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:27,260 Это парадокс.
- 00:01:27,950 --> 00:01:29,050 Хотя...
- 00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:31,920 Морти, хватай парку.
- 00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:33,470 Мы летим в Норвегию.
- 00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:36,690 А хочешь, прокачаю тебя подкожными нагревателями?
- 00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:38,076 Я возьму парку.
- 00:02:10,146 --> 00:02:11,424 Бесконечная энергия, Морти.
- 00:02:11,445 --> 00:02:14,670 Ты не представляешь, насколько это здорово, ведь тебе её всегда хватает.
- 00:02:14,691 --> 00:02:16,213 Иди нахуй. Я тоже устаю.
- 00:02:16,630 --> 00:02:18,720 Ништяк! Я попаду в Вальгаллу, Морти!
- 00:02:18,741 --> 00:02:20,832 Твой дед станет первым вальгалланавтом.
- 00:02:20,970 --> 00:02:22,262 Ощути подъём эмоций!
- 00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:24,194 Вернуться назад вообще легко.
- 00:02:24,215 --> 00:02:27,284 Аппарат заработает, когда я доделаю ретранслятор на той стороне.
- 00:02:27,305 --> 00:02:29,060 Запущен процесс протокола Феникс.
- 00:02:29,081 --> 00:02:31,350 Нажмёшь на большую красную кнопку, и я окажусь в этом теле.
- 00:02:31,371 --> 00:02:34,730 Но как ты туда попадёшь? Я не буду убивать тебя снова.
- 00:02:34,751 --> 00:02:38,110 Я хладнокровен, Рик. Я прошёл в школе какой-то тест,
- 00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:40,610 и психолог вызвал нацбезопасность.
- 00:02:40,631 --> 00:02:41,638 Не парься, Морти.
- 00:02:41,665 --> 00:02:44,325 Я должен погибнуть в великой битве против могучего врага.
- 00:02:44,759 --> 00:02:46,849 Поэтому я поймал Бигфута в покебол.
- 00:02:46,870 --> 00:02:48,080 Бигфут - твой враг?
- 00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:50,580 Вряд ли он меня любит. Я запихал его в шар.
- 00:02:50,601 --> 00:02:52,282 Я постоянно над ним издеваюсь.
- 00:02:52,303 --> 00:02:54,393 У викингов нет чётких правил, Морти.
- 00:02:54,689 --> 00:02:57,819 Перед тобой, по сути, аналог захоронения коренных американцев.
- 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,220 Бигфут - тупой и нападёт на то, что увидит перед собой.
- 00:03:00,241 --> 00:03:01,863 А мне надо только сдохнуть.
- 00:03:01,884 --> 00:03:04,167 А что будет с Бигфутом потом?
- 00:03:04,188 --> 00:03:08,936 Морти, Бигфут - это второстепенный сюжет. Основной сюжет - он меня убивает, а ты жмёшь на кнопку. Понял?
- 00:03:08,957 --> 00:03:09,680 Понял.
- 00:03:11,310 --> 00:03:12,770 Ну что ж, за дело!
- 00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,970 Офигеть, получилось! Вальгалла, детка! Рик-трупак!
- 00:03:44,930 --> 00:03:46,300 Бля, Рик-трупак.
- 00:03:51,409 --> 00:03:55,459 Приветствую в Вальгалле, брат. Мы думали, что погибли все викинги.
- 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:59,480 Ды не. Я отбился от остальных. Как тут всё устроено?
- 00:03:59,501 --> 00:04:03,490 Мы бьёмся, умираем, пируем! А затем снова бьёмся!
- 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,910 До дна, народ! До дна!
- 00:04:07,325 --> 00:04:09,785 Ну, а между битвами есть интервал,
- 00:04:09,813 --> 00:04:13,500 когда можно свалить и... ну, не знаю... пособирать ресурсы?
- 00:04:13,573 --> 00:04:16,223 Да, а сейчас ты получишь броню.
- 00:04:18,043 --> 00:04:20,035 Тук-тук. Ух ты.
- 00:04:20,304 --> 00:04:22,774 Новоприбывший. Что тебе нужно?
- 00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:25,010 Если честно, я бы забрал почти все инструменты.
- 00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:27,157 Я думал, что придётся начинать с нуля, но здесь
- 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,060 уже давно миновал железный век, так что я сэкономлю кучу времени.
- 00:04:30,081 --> 00:04:32,411 Для Вальгаллы я изготавливаю только самое лучшее.
- 00:04:32,909 --> 00:04:34,039 Прекрасный молот.
- 00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:37,020 Что будет, если вырубить кого-нибудь в Вальгалле?
- 00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:38,625 Человек потеряет сознание.
- 00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:39,188 Класс.
- 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,034 Ух ты! Та самая штука, которую любят викинги?
- 00:04:50,353 --> 00:04:51,813 Боже, какая жесть.
- 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:02,510 Стоп, чего? Бигфут, у тебя есть религия?
- 00:05:03,513 --> 00:05:08,162 Ты ведь меня понимаешь, да? Рик постоянно издевается над тобой?
- 00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:11,600 И надо мной тоже.
- 00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:15,518 Спокойно, здоровяк. Спокойно.
- 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,330 Твою мать!
- 00:05:42,529 --> 00:05:44,189 Глянь на этого мальца!
- 00:05:44,210 --> 00:05:48,090 Да ты видать из драконьих яиц сделан, раз попал в Вальгаллу в таком возрасте.
- 00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:51,628 О да. Д-д-да, ребят. Драконий жемчуг у меня в крови.
- 00:05:51,970 --> 00:05:54,862 Эй, а в-в-вы не видели здесь тощего старика?
- 00:05:54,883 --> 00:05:56,043 Видали!
- 00:05:56,430 --> 00:05:59,060 А куда он делся? Он уже должен был получить броню.
- 00:06:01,215 --> 00:06:04,117 Во имя деревянного члена могучего кита, это ещё что?
- 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,196 Старик! Он какой-то колдун.
- 00:06:07,456 --> 00:06:09,216 Он твой друг?
- 00:06:09,237 --> 00:06:11,240 Что? Нафига дружить с колдунами?
- 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,319 Я просто спросил.
- 00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:15,768 Очень оскорбительно, знаешь ли. Мы что, в Осуждалле?
- 00:06:15,789 --> 00:06:17,650 А как узнать, пока не спросишь?
- 00:06:17,671 --> 00:06:21,210 Кто-нибудь даст мне штаны или надо федералов вызывать?
- 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:25,590 Сдавайся, колдун!
- 00:06:26,630 --> 00:06:30,445 Спокойно, ребят. Это было испытание, и вы его прошли. На самом деле, я - Один.
- 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,206 Один?
- 00:06:31,227 --> 00:06:33,692 Да. Отец Тора, дядя Человека-Паука и так далее.
- 00:06:33,713 --> 00:06:38,179 Я был боссом под прикрытием, наблюдал, всё ли в порядке в Вальгалле, и так оно и есть.
- 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:42,220 В качестве награды я мастерю величественный межпространственный ретранслятор энергии,
- 00:06:42,241 --> 00:06:44,643 но его никому нельзя трогать, иначе у ваших
- 00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:47,519 коз появится геморрой. Поняли?
- 00:06:47,759 --> 00:06:49,719 И тебе от нас ничего не надобно?
- 00:06:49,855 --> 00:06:53,448 Я здесь всего на пару часов, но раз ты спросила, то я бы убил за пиво и сэндвич.
- 00:06:53,469 --> 00:06:55,009 Говядина, сыр, без лука.
- 00:06:55,030 --> 00:06:56,215 - Кто-нибудь записывает? - Мои шары!
- 00:06:56,236 --> 00:06:57,867 Мои шары! Мои шары!
- 00:06:57,887 --> 00:06:59,539 Морти? Что ты здесь забыл?
- 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,720 Так ты якшаешься с колдуном!
- 00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:05,471 Какого хера, Морти? Кто отправит меня домой?
- 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:09,470 Меня убил Бигфут! Он убил тебя, убил меня и собирался убить твоего клона.
- 00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,580 Нет-нет-нет-нет-нет, Морти, нет!
- 00:07:11,601 --> 00:07:15,664 Я открыл клетку. Бигфут хоронил твоё тело, он скорбил по тебе.
- 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,850 Ещё бы. Морти, любой дебил может сделать вид, что верит в загробную жизнь,
- 00:07:18,850 --> 00:07:20,850 потому-то мы имеем дело с этими ебланами.
- 00:07:20,850 --> 00:07:22,578 Они, считай, норвежские бигфуты.
- 00:07:22,599 --> 00:07:25,422 Господи боже. Тащи этот кабель туда, у нас мало времени.
- 00:07:35,878 --> 00:07:39,917 Пробоина в корпусе. Запускаю протокол выживания.
- 00:08:15,089 --> 00:08:16,349 Дальше мы сами.
- 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:19,790 Кто вы такие? ЦРУ? Интерпол?
- 00:08:19,811 --> 00:08:22,101 Мы работаем на человека сверху.
- 00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:28,008 Здравствуй, Бигфут. Я - папа римский.
- 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,609 Вряд ли ты в курсе, что это значит.
- 00:08:30,630 --> 00:08:33,470 Потому-то я и хотел заполучить тебя.
- 00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:38,239 Понимаешь ли, у Церкви много врагов, но к тому же много правил.
- 00:08:38,260 --> 00:08:41,350 Убивать нельзя. Приказать человеку убивать тоже нельзя.
- 00:08:41,371 --> 00:08:43,161 Но ты - не человек.
- 00:08:43,225 --> 00:08:46,716 Ты - разумный зверь, живущий за пределами царствия божьего.
- 00:08:46,999 --> 00:08:50,669 А значит, ты станешь величайшим оружием Ватикана.
- 00:08:50,690 --> 00:08:53,202 Ваше Святейшество, но он же дикий, его невозможно обуздать.
- 00:08:53,223 --> 00:08:56,063 О, но мы знаем, чего он хочет.
- 00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:03,930 Да, дитя моё. Да. Ты получишь своего голого болвана.
- 00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:07,460 Но сначала ты поработаешь на меня.
- 00:09:11,194 --> 00:09:13,100 Морти! Внимание! Новая волна!
- 00:09:20,010 --> 00:09:20,930 Чисто!
- 00:09:21,930 --> 00:09:23,328 С каждым разом их всё больше.
- 00:09:23,348 --> 00:09:26,690 Не беда. Я увеличу скорострельность турели, но ретранслятор надо доделать.
- 00:09:26,690 --> 00:09:28,643 Лучше придумай, как нас оживить.
- 00:09:28,664 --> 00:09:32,063 И профукать бесконечную энергию? Ты очень плохо взвесил ситуацию, Морти.
- 00:09:32,084 --> 00:09:34,587 Если мы сможем вернуться домой, то другого шанса у нас не будет.
- 00:09:34,608 --> 00:09:38,375 Думаешь, в следующий раз эти дебилы предложат пива голому человеку на поле боя?
- 00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:41,999 То есть, лучше погибнуть и победить, чем выжить, но проиграть?
- 00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:44,000 Тебе самое место среди этих дебилов.
- 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,343 Да! Их хотя бы можно научить жать на красную кнопку!
- 00:09:46,624 --> 00:09:47,664 Я же извинился.
- 00:09:47,685 --> 00:09:51,540 А я тебе повторяю: "Продолжай убивать их, пока я не доделаю ретранслятор".
- 00:09:51,561 --> 00:09:54,022 Я найду путь домой. Хорошо?
- 00:09:54,423 --> 00:09:55,333 Хорошо.
- 00:10:25,269 --> 00:10:27,519 Так, я закончил. Готов вернуться в мир живых?
- 00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:28,540 Да, но как?
- 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,920 Морти, бесконечная энергия - это бесконечная энергия.
- 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,880 Надо лишь дёрнуть за рычаг, и мы попадём в новые тела.
- 00:10:34,005 --> 00:10:36,005 И вуаля! Никаких больше кристаллов.
- 00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:39,220 Но как только мы уйдём, викинги всё тут расфигачат.
- 00:10:39,241 --> 00:10:41,412 О, Морти. Уверуй же.
- 00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:44,866 Может, необязательно на него нападать?
- 00:10:57,629 --> 00:11:00,339 Говорил же, что я - Один, еретики неверующие.
- 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:04,215 Я буду и дальше бомбить вас в этой яме, пока вы не начнёте следовать заповедям.
- 00:11:04,368 --> 00:11:05,146 Человек-Паук?
- 00:11:05,948 --> 00:11:10,739 Всего их десять штук, но по сути, все они про то, что нельзя подходить к ретранслятору энергии.
- 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:14,140 Кто-то собирается подходить к ретранслятору энергии?
- 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,125 Хорошо. Вы меня умилостивили. Дарую вам...
- 00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:19,985 какую-нибудь лестницу.
- 00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:22,724 Цель в зоне видимости.
- 00:11:23,010 --> 00:11:25,278 Превосходно. Отправляйте наживку.
- 00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:30,810 Мне так нравится поклоняться дьяволу вместе с вами.
- 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:51,420 Кто ты? Нас хочет убить только папа римский, но убивать ему нельзя...
- 00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:56,380 Да. Очень хорошо.
- 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,510 Но можно ещё лучше.
- 00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:08,060 Ты работаешь на Ватикан! Наши враги - это твои враги!
- 00:12:10,621 --> 00:12:13,794 СИСЯНДРЫ. НЕЦЕРКОВНЫЙ ЭРОТИЧЕСКИЙ ЖУРНАЛ
- 00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,730 Да! Да!
- 00:12:17,846 --> 00:12:20,814 НАДКОНФЕССИОНАЛЬНАЯ ФАБРИКА СВЕЧЕЙ
- 00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:26,740 Держи, мой дорогой. Так мы сможем общаться.
- 00:12:27,009 --> 00:12:29,519 Выменял у Хищника на три мушкета.
- 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,505 Так это и правда их валюта?
- 00:12:32,310 --> 00:12:34,213 Дай мне то, что обещал.
- 00:12:34,370 --> 00:12:36,790 Да, дитя моё, ты заслужил.
- 00:12:37,609 --> 00:12:39,779 Что ж, Морти! Возьмём медовуху на дорожку?
- 00:12:39,806 --> 00:12:40,856 Не, я пас.
- 00:12:40,876 --> 00:12:42,413 Тогда погнали!
- 00:12:48,989 --> 00:12:51,999 Блин, беру назад все свои слова насчёт чанов с клонами.
- 00:12:52,020 --> 00:12:53,868 В безумии тоже есть зерно разума, Морти.
- 00:12:56,274 --> 00:12:58,533 А теперь... бесконечная энергия, детка.
- 00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:01,366 Что за...
- 00:13:02,101 --> 00:13:04,549 Кто-то решил взломать ретранслятор на Земле, Морти.
- 00:13:04,570 --> 00:13:08,870 С ума сойти! На такое способен только духовный лидер с безграничными ресурсами.
- 00:13:09,165 --> 00:13:10,832 Хотя такой есть только один.
- 00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:16,790 Тебе пизда.
- 00:13:19,857 --> 00:13:20,302 Бля.
- 00:13:20,323 --> 00:13:22,993 Вот и всё. Больше ты не будешь истязать меня.
- 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,300 Какого хрена? Ты серьёзно работаешь на папу римского?
- 00:13:29,321 --> 00:13:33,411 Он увидел во мне потенциал. А сейчас тебя раздавит Бигфут.
- 00:13:37,060 --> 00:13:38,162 Ха! Ха!
- 00:13:38,183 --> 00:13:40,433 Не волнуйся, Морти. У меня всё под контролем.
- 00:13:42,549 --> 00:13:44,799 Господи, Рик. Извинись - и дело с концом.
- 00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:47,450 Ты решил, что Бигфут - глупый. Глупо с твоей стороны.
- 00:13:47,450 --> 00:13:50,793 Ты прав, Морти. Недооценённый человек сразу получает преимущество.
- 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,040 Зачем ты издевался надо мной?
- 00:13:53,061 --> 00:13:55,645 Меня веселила твоя тупизна.
- 00:13:55,809 --> 00:13:58,784 Каждый человек умён по-своему.
- 00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:02,720 Знаю, знаю! Мне явно не хватает ума, чтобы понять, когда у человека есть мозги.
- 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,930 Слушай, я понимаю, что ты не можешь нажать на перчатку, но попробую угадать, что ты говоришь.
- 00:14:08,976 --> 00:14:11,476 Я издевался над тобой в угоду себе. За это ты и злишься на меня.
- 00:14:11,997 --> 00:14:12,556 Рик!
- 00:14:12,577 --> 00:14:14,423 Но я использовал тебя, чтобы умереть!
- 00:14:14,656 --> 00:14:16,793 А сколько людей убил ты ради папы римского?
- 00:14:18,217 --> 00:14:20,066 Помоги остановить его, и я всё исправлю.
- 00:14:20,937 --> 00:14:22,397 Для начала, вот.
- 00:14:23,669 --> 00:14:25,709 Больно. Секундочку...
- 00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:28,570 Ага, руки свободны. Я ещё голос подправил.
- 00:14:28,591 --> 00:14:33,120 Спасибо. В мире, где время стало средством платежа.
- 00:14:33,152 --> 00:14:34,631 Кажись, я знаю, что это за фильм.
- 00:14:34,652 --> 00:14:36,566 В Ватикане разыграете сценку. Погнали.
- 00:14:38,603 --> 00:14:41,169 Эй, Бигфут. Что это у тебя там?
- 00:14:41,190 --> 00:14:42,560 Рик и Морти.
- 00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:45,800 Убиты. По приказу папы.
- 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:47,400 Да, это они.
- 00:14:48,816 --> 00:14:53,707 Ну и напоследок. Я должен взять острую палку и потыкать в них.
- 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,379 Таковы правила.
- 00:14:55,734 --> 00:14:56,421 Но!
- 00:15:00,039 --> 00:15:01,829 Прости, Морти. По-тихому не вышло.
- 00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:03,318 Ну, хоть попытались.
- 00:15:03,339 --> 00:15:04,467 Пизданутое правило.
- 00:15:11,490 --> 00:15:14,240 Папа!
- 00:15:17,540 --> 00:15:19,593 Всё кончено, понтифик. Тебе кранты.
- 00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:25,920 Вот почему религия это отстой.
- 00:15:25,941 --> 00:15:28,901 С помощью бесконечной энергии он парит, как Крисс Энджел.
- 00:15:32,633 --> 00:15:34,913 Ничего себе. Не думал, что так выйдет.
- 00:15:35,227 --> 00:15:38,870 Нас убило энергией, и, видимо, мы отправились по каналам к её источнику.
- 00:15:39,579 --> 00:15:40,999 Привет, народ.
- 00:15:41,020 --> 00:15:42,690 - Ой, бля! - Нет. Нет.
- 00:15:42,935 --> 00:15:46,250 Нам нужна одежда и лошади. Бигфуту можно не давать.
- 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,183 Или он хочет одежду?
- 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,924 Прости, о великий Один... Это испытание?
- 00:15:54,944 --> 00:15:56,830 Да, ага. И вы его прошли.
- 00:16:04,809 --> 00:16:06,729 Ступни такие маленькие.
- 00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:08,250 А почему он в клоне Саммер?
- 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:11,010 По статистике её смерть третья по вероятности.
- 00:16:11,010 --> 00:16:13,010 Что ж, прикончим этого ублюдка.
- 00:16:13,031 --> 00:16:14,946 Погоди, я уже понял, к чему всё идёт.
- 00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:26,150 Папа!
- 00:16:50,411 --> 00:16:50,979 Да уж.
- 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,430 Скажу честно, Морти. Я особо и не сопротивлялся. Хотел убедиться, что сработает.
- 00:16:54,451 --> 00:16:55,883 Красивый.
- 00:16:55,903 --> 00:16:57,470 Нравится? Ступни побольше.
- 00:16:57,491 --> 00:16:59,260 И лобная доля покрупнее.
- 00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:01,608 Спасибо. Моя нравится. Моя...
- 00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,890 Осади. А то тебя ещё за маппета примут.
- 00:17:08,690 --> 00:17:10,230 Папа!
- 00:17:21,660 --> 00:17:25,077 Может, лучше портануться к нему поближе, чтобы с охраной не разбираться?
- 00:17:25,580 --> 00:17:26,500 Да-да-да.
- 00:17:37,029 --> 00:17:38,369 Может, подбородок побольше?
- 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,970 Ты глянь, сука, замечания пошли.
- 00:17:39,991 --> 00:17:42,810 Ну же, Бигфут, надо постараться получше.
- 00:17:42,831 --> 00:17:45,520 Если нужна помощь, то Бигфут знает пару ребят.
- 00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:48,501 У папы... в плену и другие монстры есть.
- 00:17:49,379 --> 00:17:52,669 А вы не теряете надежду. Я так хоть весь день могу.
- 00:17:52,690 --> 00:17:54,638 Да, но эти ребята могут хоть...
- 00:17:55,990 --> 00:17:57,400 ...всю ночь!
- 00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:08,830 Ух ты. Анти-кульминация.
- 00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:10,729 Мумия, отлично выглядишь.
- 00:18:10,750 --> 00:18:13,210 В этой загробной жизни пахнет пивом.
- 00:18:13,231 --> 00:18:15,966 Так вот она какая, бесконечная энергия. Бля.
- 00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:19,523 Жаль нет времени разбираться, как здесь оказались все части Франкенштейна.
- 00:18:19,693 --> 00:18:22,482 Бигфут, отведи ребят к ретранслятору и приготовься к осаде.
- 00:18:22,503 --> 00:18:23,673 Что ты задумал, Рик?
- 00:18:23,949 --> 00:18:26,079 Слушайте, на самом деле, я не ваш бог,
- 00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:28,350 а просто старик, который хотел поживиться на вашей системе.
- 00:18:28,371 --> 00:18:31,404 Такие, как я, считают, что могут всем заправлять, потому что вокруг тупицы.
- 00:18:31,425 --> 00:18:34,961 Но мы живём в тупой вселенной. Я работаю на вас. Клиент всегда прав.
- 00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:39,471 Мы исчезнем, подождите десять викингских минут и сотрите ту мельницу с лица земли.
- 00:18:40,139 --> 00:18:42,429 А... это не уловка?
- 00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,027 А писька твоей матери - уловка?
- 00:18:44,048 --> 00:18:44,501 Эй!
- 00:18:44,522 --> 00:18:45,168 Надрать ему жопу!
- 00:18:45,473 --> 00:18:46,505 Бежим, Морти! Бежим!
- 00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,449 Нахрена ты это сделал?
- 00:18:48,729 --> 00:18:50,899 Всё будет кончено, только если обрубим энергию, Морти!
- 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:52,039 А как вернуться домой?
- 00:18:52,059 --> 00:18:53,750 Для этого и нужны эти ребята.
- 00:18:53,771 --> 00:18:57,232 Монстры! Держать оборону! Все, кроме Бигфута!
- 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,470 Они ведь не ушли, нет?
- 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,760 Да ну. Это слишком хладнокровно.
- 00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:09,270 Папа!
- 00:19:09,999 --> 00:19:13,589 Кого ты притащил на этот раз? Гарлемских Глобтроттерсов?
- 00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:14,940 Неплохая идея.
- 00:19:14,961 --> 00:19:16,190 Тебе крышка, святоша.
- 00:19:16,211 --> 00:19:18,461 Пора тебе ответить за свои грехи.
- 00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:21,299 Бигфут, ты был лучшим божьим убийцей.
- 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,280 А теперь посмотри на себя. Волос нет, ступни обычные.
- 00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:25,580 Да!
- 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:28,830 Рик, ретранслятор ещё работает.
- 00:19:28,851 --> 00:19:31,431 Бля, я думал, что монстры продуют быстрее.
- 00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:35,609 Другое дело. Помянем Волчонка.
- 00:19:35,630 --> 00:19:37,085 Я не понимаю.
- 00:19:37,105 --> 00:19:40,630 Знаешь, как говорят? Когда бог закрывает ретранслятор с бесконечной энергией...
- 00:19:40,651 --> 00:19:43,611 Нет! Будь ты проклят!
- 00:19:52,512 --> 00:19:54,653 Так, я это скажу, чтобы вам не пришлось.
- 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,773 Папебол. Всё.
- 00:19:56,991 --> 00:19:57,770 Ладно.
- 00:19:57,791 --> 00:20:01,671 Если бы я ничего не сказал, кто-нибудь упрекнул бы "Папебол так и напрашивался".
- 00:20:02,217 --> 00:20:04,792 Именно поэтому я не хотел пользоваться покеболом,
- 00:20:04,813 --> 00:20:06,893 но это подходящий инструмент под такое дело.
- 00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:10,173 А что, надо было забить на покебол и шмальнуть святоше в голову?
- 00:20:11,370 --> 00:20:12,290 Я хотел упрекнуть.
- 00:20:14,670 --> 00:20:16,687 Погоди, а почему мы в лесу?
- 00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:19,104 Тебе пора домой, здоровяк.
- 00:20:20,670 --> 00:20:21,122 Ладно.
- 00:20:21,142 --> 00:20:22,840 Ты свободен. Иди.
- 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,044 Вы странно себя ведёте.
- 00:20:24,064 --> 00:20:25,550 Зачем ты всё усложняешь?
- 00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:28,177 Иди! Возвращайся туда, откуда пришёл!
- 00:20:28,789 --> 00:20:31,249 Необязательно кидаться предметами, чтобы попрощаться.
- 00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:32,148 Иди!
- 00:20:32,469 --> 00:20:36,139 Я ведь больше не зверь... Я думал, что...
- 00:20:36,482 --> 00:20:37,869 Я мог бы найти работу и...
- 00:20:37,890 --> 00:20:39,690 - Уходи! Давай! - Уходи!
- 00:20:39,940 --> 00:20:43,990 Да ухожу я, ухожу. Хватит кидаться предметами.
- 00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:45,303 Иди!
- 00:20:45,323 --> 00:20:46,200 Ладно, я ухожу.
- 00:20:46,221 --> 00:20:46,896 Давай, уходи.
- 00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:47,841 - Ладно. - Иди уже!
- 00:21:40,290 --> 00:21:42,002 Ну, что за больные ублюдки...
- 00:21:42,022 --> 00:21:43,121 Их тренируют для боёв.
- 00:21:43,142 --> 00:21:44,630 И слушать не желаю, Хендерсон.
- 00:21:44,651 --> 00:21:47,760 Какой сейчас год? Кто папа римский?
- 00:21:47,781 --> 00:21:48,895 Да хер его знает.
- 00:21:49,101 --> 00:21:50,198 Сейчас гляну.
- 00:21:51,023 --> 00:21:52,286 Видимо, этот мужик.
- 00:21:53,810 --> 00:21:57,060 Нет!
- 00:00:04,212 --> 00:00:06,589 Hello? Hello?
- 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:09,843 Hello, Jerry.
- 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:10,927 Nana!
- 00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:12,679 Are you ready to come to the light?
- 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,432 Uh, I'm not sure. Where's Pop Pop?
- 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,434 He's not coming out to meet you anymore
- 00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:20,437 because honestly, Jerry, this is getting annoying.
- 00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:21,855 It's not my fault!
- 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,190 My father-in-law asked me to help him gather data and--
- 00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,526 Agh! Not agaaaaaain!
- 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:27,777 [ Gasping ]
- 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,404 Okay, run diagnostics.
- 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,364 [ Machine whirring ]
- 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,950 Holy shit, this is consistent. This is real.
- 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:35,201 What have you done?
- 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,953 You've got my grandparents pissed at me.
- 00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,830 They'll forgive you because...
- 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,833 they're zero-mass fields of consciousness preserved by
- 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:44,836 a-a paradimensional layer of infinite energy?
- 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,796 Morty, there's kind of a heaven! Kind of!
- 00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:49,591 I-I mean there definitely is for a neurotypical like your father.
- 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:50,884 His conscious connection
- 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,635 to a localized cultural model of infinity
- 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:54,679 functions like a wick, sucking his little mind
- 00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,556 straight towards a source of energy strong enough
- 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,141 to support collective projection.
- 00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,642 Great, so there's a heaven.
- 00:00:59,642 --> 00:01:02,228 Glad you could learn that by murdering me eight times.
- 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:03,813 He's got kind of a point, Rick.
- 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,190 If you want to get into heaven,
- 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,608 can't you just stop being an asshole?
- 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,319 First of all, I don't want to "get into" anywhere.
- 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,196 I want to tap this paradimension's energy.
- 00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:12,739 Secondly, you wouldn't catch me dead
- 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,032 in Jerry's generic-ass
- 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:16,075 1980s concrete and fog machine heaven.
- 00:01:16,075 --> 00:01:18,369 Well, guess what. You aren't welcome there!
- 00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:21,080 You raise a good point, Jerry, obviously by accident.
- 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,208 My intact consciousness is too atheistic
- 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,794 to get channeled to any afterlife worth robbing.
- 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,587 It's a paradox.
- 00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:28,838 Unless...
- 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:31,549 Morty, pack your parka.
- 00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:34,052 We're going to Norway. [ Groans ]
- 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:36,596 Or I can augment your skin with subdermal heaters--
- 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:37,847 I'll pack a parka.
- 00:01:37,847 --> 00:02:05,208 {\an8}♪
- 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,460 [ Electricity zapping ]
- 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:10,922 {\an8}Infinite energy, Morty.
- 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,382 {\an8}You don't even know how to appreciate that
- 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,259 {\an8}because you've never been in energy debt.
- 00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,885 {\an8}Fuck you. I've been tired.
- 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:18,179 {\an8}Perfect! I'm going to Valhalla, Morty!
- 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:20,598 {\an8}Your grandpa's going to be the first Valhallanaut!
- 00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:21,850 {\an8}Feel the excitement!
- 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,726 {\an8}Getting back will be easy.
- 00:02:23,726 --> 00:02:25,061 {\an8}Once the machine turns on,
- 00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,729 {\an8}I'll have set up the other side of the relay.
- 00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,565 {\an8}Female voice: <i>Phoenix Protocol initiated.</i>
- 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,900 {\an8}Just hit that big red button to pull me into this body.
- 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,402 {\an8}But how are you getting there?
- 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,237 {\an8}I-I refuse to kill you again.
- 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,989 {\an8}I-I'm desensitized, Rick.
- 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,699 {\an8}I took some kind of test in school,
- 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,285 {\an8}a-and the counselor had to call Homeland Security.
- 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:41,744 {\an8}Not your problem, Morty.
- 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,122 {\an8}I need to die in glorious battle against a mighty enemy.
- 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,332 {\an8}That's why I got Bigfoot in this Poké Ball.
- 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,709 {\an8}Bigfoot is your enemy?
- 00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:50,211 {\an8}Well, I doubt he's a fan. I stuffed him into a ball.
- 00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,754 {\an8}I mess with him all the time.
- 00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:54,090 {\an8}These Vikings don't have real tight bylaws, Morty.
- 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:55,592 {\an8}This is basically their equivalent
- 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,343 {\an8}of Native American burial grounds.
- 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,762 {\an8}Bigfoot's dumb enough to attack whatever's in front of him.
- 00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,431 {\an8}And all I gotta do is die.
- 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,766 {\an8}What happens to Bigfoot... after?
- 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,560 {\an8}Morty, Bigfoot is a "B" story.
- 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,937 {\an8}The "A" story is he kills me and you hit the button.
- 00:03:07,937 --> 00:03:09,397 {\an8}Got it? Got it.
- 00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:10,857 {\an8}[ Gulping ]
- 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,817 {\an8}Alright, let's do this!
- 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:18,406 {\an8}[ Grunting ]
- 00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:21,576 {\an8}[ Roaring ]
- 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,995 {\an8}[ Grunting ]
- 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,833 {\an8}Oh! [ Groaning ]
- 00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,376 {\an8}[ Grunting ]
- 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,135 {\an8}Oh, snap, I-I did it!
- 00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,679 {\an8}Valhalla, baby! I'm Dead Rick!
- 00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:44,474 {\an8}[ Horn blowing, all shouting ]
- 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,225 {\an8}Oh, shit, I'm dead Rick.
- 00:03:46,225 --> 00:03:47,435 {\an8}[ Weapons clang ] [ Grunts ]
- 00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:48,811 {\an8}[ Groans ]
- 00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,980 {\an8}[ Gasps ] [ All cheering ]
- 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,149 {\an8}Welcome to Valhalla, brother.
- 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:55,151 {\an8}We thought all Vikings had perished.
- 00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:57,904 {\an8}Ah. Nope. I was-- I was a straggler.
- 00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,113 {\an8}How's it work here again?
- 00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:01,032 {\an8}We fight! We die! We feast!
- 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:03,159 {\an8}And then we fight again!
- 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:06,537 Ha-ha! Cheers, everybody, cheers!
- 00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:09,207 So, is there a time window between battles
- 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:13,086 where a guy could go off and, I don't know, gather resources?
- 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:16,673 Yes, now you'll receive your armor.
- 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,633 Knock, knock.
- 00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:19,759 Oh wow.
- 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,262 You're a new arrival. What do you require?
- 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,430 Honestly, I-I'd love to take most of your tools.
- 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:25,890 I'd planned on starting from scratch,
- 00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:28,267 but you're, like, way past the Iron Age here,
- 00:04:28,267 --> 00:04:29,644 saves me a lot of time.
- 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:32,355 I make only the finest for Valhalla.
- 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,856 Beautiful hammer.
- 00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:36,567 So, in Valhalla, what happens when we get knocked out?
- 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,861 Then we're just knocked out. Cool.
- 00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:42,365 Oh, wow, is that a thing Vikings love?
- 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,909 [ Grunting ]
- 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,998 [ Crying ]
- 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,749 Oh, God, brutal.
- 00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:53,876 [ Grunting ]
- 00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,008 Wait, what?
- 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,885 Bigfoot... do you have religion?
- 00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:05,596 Y-Y-You understand me, don't you?
- 00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:07,890 D-Does Rick do this to you all the time?
- 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:09,851 [ Grunts, crying ]
- 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:12,645 He messes with me, too.
- 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,480 Easy, there, big guy.
- 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,065 Easy.
- 00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,191 [ Screams ]
- 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:18,609 [ Crunching ]
- 00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,864 [ Grunting ]
- 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,743 [ Glass shatters, alarm blaring ]
- 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,453 [ Electricity crackles ]
- 00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:31,706 [ Banging ]
- 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,251 [ Horn blows ]
- 00:05:35,251 --> 00:05:36,419 [ All shouting ]
- 00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,087 Oh, shit!
- 00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:40,840 [ Weapons clanging, all shouting ]
- 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:41,924 [ Laughing ]
- 00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:43,718 Look at this little one!
- 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:46,054 You must be made of piss and dragon balls
- 00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,597 to reach Valhalla at your age!
- 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,599 Oh, yeah! Y-Yeah, man!
- 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,225 Dr-Dragon Balls all day.
- 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:54,479 H-Hey, h-have you guys seen an old skinny guy around here?
- 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:55,772 Of course!
- 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,273 But wait, where did that guy go?
- 00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:58,983 He should have his armor by now.
- 00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:00,401 [ Bird screeches ]
- 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,613 What in the mighty whale's wooden cock?
- 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:07,158 The old man! He's some kind of witch!
- 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,785 A friend of yours?
- 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,787 What? Why would I be friends with a witch?
- 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:11,996 I was just asking.
- 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,623 Well, that's really offensive, man!
- 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,416 What is this, Judgmenthalla?
- 00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,126 I don't know until I ask, alright?
- 00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:18,795 Somebody around here gonna make me some pants,
- 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,255 or do I have to call the feds on this place?
- 00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:25,968 Surrender, witch!
- 00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,178 Easy, guys.
- 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:28,846 Th-This was all a test, and you passed.
- 00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,640 I'm actually Odin. Odin?
- 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,142 Yep, Thor's father, Spider-Man's uncle, et cetera.
- 00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:35,228 I came here to do like an "Undercover Boss" thing,
- 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,813 making sure Valhalla's running smooth,
- 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,564 which it is, and as your reward,
- 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:41,776 I'm assembling this majestic transdimensional energy relay,
- 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,319 which none of you should ever touch,
- 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,238 or it'll make your... goats...
- 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,365 have hemorrhoids, understood?
- 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,450 And you need nothing from us?
- 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,993 I'm only here for a few hours,
- 00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:52,995 but since you're asking, I'd kill for a beer and a sandwich.
- 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:55,414 Beef, cheese, no onions-- Is someone writing this down?
- 00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,375 Ow, my balls, ow, my balls, ow, my balls!
- 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,127 Morty? Why are you here?
- 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,212 You <i>are</i> friends with the witch!
- 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,047 [ Sighs ]
- 00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:05,216 What the fuck, Morty! You're my ride home!
- 00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:06,300 Bigfoot killed me!
- 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:07,593 He killed you, he killed me,
- 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,970 and he was going to kill your clone.
- 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,222 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, Morty, no!
- 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:12,473 I-I opened the cage.
- 00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:13,850 Bigfoot was burying your body.
- 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,852 He-- He was mourning you! He does that.
- 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,437 Morty, any big idiot can pretend to believe in the afterlife.
- 00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:20,481 That's why we're dealing with these fucking guys.
- 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,941 They're just Norwegian Bigfoots.
- 00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:24,193 Jesus Christ, run this cable over there.
- 00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:25,278 We don't have much time.
- 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,114 [ Grunting ]
- 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:35,538 {\an8}♪
- 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,540 <i>Hull breach imminent.</i>
- 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,792 <i>Initiating survival protocol.</i>
- 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:40,835 [ Grunts ]
- 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,879 Aah! [ Chattering ]
- 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:53,389 {\an8}♪
- 00:07:53,389 --> 00:07:55,183 [ Tires screech ]
- 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,684 [ Roars ]
- 00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:59,979 [ People screaming ]
- 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,355 [ All gasp ]
- 00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:02,899 [ Grunting ]
- 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,025 [ Roars ]
- 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,651 [ Darts fire ]
- 00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,820 [ Grunts, chattering ]
- 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,364 [ Grunting ]
- 00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,866 [ Darts firing ]
- 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,535 [ Tires screech ]
- 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,120 We'll take it from here.
- 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,580 And who are you?
- 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,332 CIA? Interpol?
- 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,084 We work for the man upstairs.
- 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:24,712 [ Bells ringing ]
- 00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,464 Hello, Bigfoot.
- 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:27,840 I'm-a the Pope.
- 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,967 I'm sure you don't know what that means.
- 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:33,221 Which is why I've been so eager to acquire you.
- 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:37,767 The Church, you see, has many enemies, but also many rules.
- 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,937 We can't kill. We can't command a man to kill.
- 00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:42,688 But you are not a man.
- 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:46,484 You are a thinking beast from outside God's domain,
- 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:50,071 which will make you the Vatican's greatest weapon.
- 00:08:50,071 --> 00:08:52,907 Your holiness, he is wild. He can't be controlled.
- 00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:56,285 Ah, but we know what he wants.
- 00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:58,454 [ Muffled grunting ] [ Grunting ]
- 00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:00,873 Yes, my child. Yes.
- 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:04,085 You will have your naked imbecile.
- 00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:07,380 But first, you will work for me.
- 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,881 [ Cranking ]
- 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,758 [ Horn blowing, all shouting ]
- 00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:12,802 Morty! Heads up! Incoming wave.
- 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:16,055 [ All shouting ]
- 00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:19,433 [ All screaming ]
- 00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,435 Clear!
- 00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:22,812 They're sending more every time.
- 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,647 It's fine. I'll upgrade the turret's rate of fire,
- 00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,190 but I need to finish this relay.
- 00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:28,317 You need to figure out how to get us back to life!
- 00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:29,694 Without my infinite energy?
- 00:09:29,694 --> 00:09:31,487 I-I don't think you're thinking this through, Morty.
- 00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,948 I-If we manage to get home, we don't get another shot at this.
- 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,866 Y-You think the next time these idiots see a naked man
- 00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:37,952 on the battlefield, they're gonna give him a beer?
- 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,246 So you'd rather stay dead until you win
- 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,747 than live as a loser?
- 00:09:41,747 --> 00:09:43,332 Maybe you belong here with these idiots.
- 00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:46,127 Yeah, I could probably teach them how to hit a red button!
- 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,336 I said I was sorry.
- 00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,505 And I said keep killing them
- 00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,007 while I finish the relay.
- 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,967 And I will get us back home.
- 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,010 Okay?
- 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,553 Okay.
- 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:58,681 [ All shouting ]
- 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,350 [ Explosion, all scream ]
- 00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:03,853 [ All grunting, shouting ]
- 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,605 [ All shouting ]
- 00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:11,319 {\an8}♪
- 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,821 [ All scream ]
- 00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:16,240 [ All grunting, shouting ]
- 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,784 [ Shushing ]
- 00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:21,078 [ Drones buzzing ]
- 00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:22,872 Oh. Oh, no.
- 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,665 [ All shouting ]
- 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,125 Okay, I'm done here.
- 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,127 You ready to get back to living? Yeah, but how?
- 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,504 Morty, infinite energy means infinite energy.
- 00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:31,714 All I have to do is pull a lever
- 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:33,507 to send us back home into new bodies.
- 00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:35,426 Then voilà, no more need for crystals.
- 00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:36,927 But the second we turn our back,
- 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,846 those guys are just going to trash this place.
- 00:10:38,846 --> 00:10:41,307 Oh, Morty. Ye of little faith.
- 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:44,393 Do we even need to attack him?
- 00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:46,228 [ Explosion, all scream ]
- 00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:48,522 [ Groaning ] [ Shouts ]
- 00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:50,191 [ Explosion ]
- 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,859 [ Groaning ]
- 00:10:51,859 --> 00:10:53,652 [ Explosion ]
- 00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:56,947 [ Groaning ]
- 00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:59,867 I told you I was Odin, you faithless heretics!
- 00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:01,952 And I'll keep blowing you up in this pit forever
- 00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:03,954 unless you follow these commandments.
- 00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,623 Spider-Man?
- 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,791 There's 10 of them,
- 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,167 but they basically revolve around
- 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,294 not going near the energy relay.
- 00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:14,548 Is anybody going to go near the energy relay?
- 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:16,634 Okay. You have pleased me.
- 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,302 I'll get you guys...
- 00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:20,137 some kind of a ladder.
- 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,681 Target is in sight.
- 00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:25,351 Excellent. Release the bait.
- 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:31,315 I just love worshiping the devil with you guys.
- 00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:33,901 [ All gasp ]
- 00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:35,403 [ Grunts, chattering ]
- 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,446 [ All screaming ]
- 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:39,198 [ Roars ]
- 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:40,866 [ All shouting ]
- 00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,952 [ Grunting ]
- 00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:46,705 {\an8}♪
- 00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:48,124 Who are you?
- 00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,502 Only the Pope wants to kill us, but he can't kill--
- 00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:54,130 [ Roars ]
- 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,632 Yes. Very good.
- 00:11:56,632 --> 00:11:59,385 But we can do even better.
- 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,095 [ Roaring ]
- 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,471 [ Grunting ]
- 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,807 Pope: You work-a for the Vatican!
- 00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:08,060 Our enemies are your enemies!
- 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,229 [ Roaring ]
- 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,691 [ Bigfoot grunting ]
- 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,570 Yes! Yes!
- 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,071 [ Bigfoot grunting ]
- 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,531 [ People screaming ]
- 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,366 [ Bells ringing ]
- 00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:26,328 Here, my sweet. This will help you communicate.
- 00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:29,331 I traded a Predator three muskets for it.
- 00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:31,834 So it is their currency?
- 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,919 <i>Give me what you promised.</i>
- 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,881 Yes, child, you've earned it.
- 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:39,341 Alright, Morty, wanna grab a mead for the road?
- 00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:40,384 Nah, I'm good.
- 00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,303 Then here we go!
- 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:51,353 Man, I take back everything bad I said about clone vats.
- 00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:53,439 There's a method to the madness, Morty.
- 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,566 [ Cork pops ] [ Slurps ]
- 00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:58,194 And now... infinite energy, baby!
- 00:12:58,194 --> 00:13:00,154 [ Buzzing ]
- 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,448 What the... Someone's hacking into
- 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:04,116 the Earth-bound side of my relay, Morty.
- 00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,910 Pretty crazy, whoever's doing this
- 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,954 would have to be a spiritual leader with limitless resources.
- 00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,414 In fact, I guess there's only really one--
- 00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:12,291 [ Bigfoot roars ]
- 00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:16,795 <i>You're fucked.</i>
- 00:13:17,796 --> 00:13:19,965 [ Grunts ] Fuck.
- 00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:22,843 <i>It is over. My torment ends now.</i>
- 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:24,220 [ Grunts ]
- 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:25,596 [ Screams ]
- 00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:26,805 What the hell?
- 00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,891 Are you seriously working for the Pope?
- 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,851 <i>The Pope saw my potential.</i>
- 00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:33,395 <i>Prepare to be crushed by Bigfoot.</i>
- 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:36,607 [ Grunts ]
- 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,567 <i>Ha ha.</i> Don't worry, Morty.
- 00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:42,071 I've got this under control.
- 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,281 Jesus Christ, Rick, just apologize.
- 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:46,492 You assumed Bigfoot was dumb, which was dumb of you.
- 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,077 You're right, Morty.
- 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,663 Underestimating people only gives them the high ground.
- 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,623 <i>Admit why you bullied me.</i>
- 00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,334 Because I thought it was funny that you were stupid.
- 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:57,586 <i>People are intelligent in different ways.</i>
- 00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,255 I know, I know.
- 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:02,174 I-I'm clearly stupid at knowing when other people are smart.
- 00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,175 [ Grunts ]
- 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,426 [ Grunting ]
- 00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:06,554 Listen, I know you can't tap your gauntlet,
- 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,430 but I'll take a guess at what you're saying.
- 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:11,475 You hate me because I tortured you to get what I want.
- 00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:13,978 Rick! But I only used you to kill myself!
- 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:16,647 How many people have you killed for the Pope?
- 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:17,898 [ Grunts ]
- 00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:20,484 Help me stop him, and I'll make it right.
- 00:14:20,484 --> 00:14:22,444 For starters, here.
- 00:14:22,444 --> 00:14:25,406 <i>Ow, that hurt. Wait a second.</i>
- 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:26,574 Yeah, hands-free.
- 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:28,993 Also upgraded that voice. <i>Thank you.</i>
- 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:32,746 <i>In a world where time actually is money...</i>
- 00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,164 Ooh, I-I think I know this movie.
- 00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:36,333 You guys can do this bit at the Vatican. Let's go.
- 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,545 Oh, hey, Bigfoot.
- 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:40,963 What you got back there, eh?
- 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:43,132 <i>Rick and Morty.</i>
- 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,384 <i>Uh, dead. For Pope.</i>
- 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:48,137 Aye, that's them. [ Camera shutter clicks ]
- 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:51,807 Alright, last thing, I just got to take a sharp stick
- 00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,559 and stab them both.
- 00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:54,977 That's just the rules.
- 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,813 <i>Hyah!</i> [ Horse neighs ]
- 00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,315 [ All scream ]
- 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,525 Sorry, Morty, so much for the quiet way.
- 00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:02,818 I appreciate that we tried.
- 00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:04,820 <i>It's a fucked-up rule.</i>
- 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,072 [ Guards scream ]
- 00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:14,163 Poooooooooooooooope!
- 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:16,832 [ Screams ]
- 00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:19,335 It's over, the Pope. We got you.
- 00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,211 [ Laughing ]
- 00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:25,424 See, this is why religion sucks.
- 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,009 Infinite energy, and the Pope uses it
- 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,594 to levitate like Criss Angel.
- 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:29,928 [ Screams ]
- 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,683 Alright, wow, not how I saw that going.
- 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,393 I guess getting killed by the energy
- 00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:38,854 sent us up the conduit to its source.
- 00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,231 Hey, guys. Oh, fuck.
- 00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:44,693 No, no, just need some clothes and horses.
- 00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:46,153 Maybe not for Bigfoot.
- 00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:47,488 Unless he wants clothes?
- 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,740 [ Roars ]
- 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:53,369 Ah, excuse me, Lord Odin.
- 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,453 Is this a test?
- 00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,830 Yup, yup. Uh, you passed!
- 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:03,921 [ Groans ]
- 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,256 Ewww, feet... so small.
- 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,800 Why is he in a clone of Summer?
- 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,636 Statistically speaking, she's the third most likely to die.
- 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,513 Alright, let's kill that son of a bitch.
- 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,682 Hold on, I can see where this is going.
- 00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,143 [ Whirring ]
- 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:22,398 {\an8}♪
- 00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:23,482 [ Thunder crashes ]
- 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:26,318 Poooooooooooope!
- 00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:28,821 Aah!
- 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,407 [ Grunting ] [ Screams ]
- 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:37,705 {\an8}♪
- 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,415 [ Screams ]
- 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,046 [ Whirring ]
- 00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,758 [ Bell dings ]
- 00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:51,468 Wow. I gotta admit, Morty.
- 00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:52,678 I didn't really fight that time.
- 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,221 I wanted to make sure this worked.
- 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,514 Handsome.
- 00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,932 Yeah, you like that? Bigger feet!
- 00:16:56,932 --> 00:16:58,726 Even gave your brain a little more lobe.
- 00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,936 Thank you! Me love it. Me--
- 00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:03,647 Dial it back. You don't wanna come across like a Muppet.
- 00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,023 Ooh-hoo-hoo.
- 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,235 [ Thunder crashes ]
- 00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:10,446 Poooooooooope!
- 00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:14,199 [ Screams ]
- 00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:19,705 [ Screaming ]
- 00:17:21,039 --> 00:17:22,833 Maybe we just portal right up close to the guy
- 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,668 instead of doing the guards every time.
- 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,170 [ Grunts ] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,257 [ Bell dings ]
- 00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:31,550 [ All shout ]
- 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:32,968 [ Grunts ]
- 00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:35,220 [ All grunt ]
- 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,555 [ Bell dings ]
- 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,931 Maybe bigger chin?
- 00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:39,683 Look at this. He's fucking giving notes.
- 00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:42,227 Bigfoot, come on, w-we need you to put a little more fight in.
- 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:45,147 If need help, Bigfoot do know some guys.
- 00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:48,609 Pope has... other monsters captive.
- 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,778 Man, you guys really don't quit.
- 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,154 I can do this all day.
- 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:54,114 Yeah, but these guys can do it...
- 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,616 [ Roars ]
- 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:56,742 All night!
- 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:58,744 [ Howls ]
- 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,796 Wow, big anticlimax!
- 00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,339 Mummy, you look good!
- 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,716 This afterlife smells like beer.
- 00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,802 I guess this is what infinite energy looks like.
- 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,553 Fuck. Really wish we had time
- 00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:19,056 to unpack all of Frankenstein's parts making it here.
- 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:20,766 Bigfoot, take these guys up to the relay
- 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,017 and prepare for a siege.
- 00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:23,477 What are you gonna do, Rick?
- 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,395 Listen, I'm not really your god,
- 00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:27,815 just an old man who wanted to cheat your system.
- 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,566 Guys like me think we can run the joint
- 00:18:29,566 --> 00:18:30,943 because everyone is so dumb.
- 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,361 But it's a dumb universe.
- 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:34,905 I work for you. The customer is always right.
- 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:36,657 Give me 10 Viking minutes after we leave
- 00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:39,535 and then pull the plug on that windmill we made over there.
- 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,954 And this isn't a trick?
- 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,622 Is your mother's pussy a trick?
- 00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:44,873 - Hey! - Kick his ass!
- 00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,041 Go, Morty, go!
- 00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:47,960 Why the hell did you do that?!
- 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,546 The only way to end this is by turning off the power, Morty!
- 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:51,713 But we have to get home!
- 00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,465 That's what these guys are for!
- 00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:55,634 Monsters, hold the line!
- 00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:56,760 Everyone but Bigfoot!
- 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,470 Together: Hoo-rah!
- 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,056 [ All shouting ]
- 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,891 That wasn't them leaving, right?
- 00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:05,477 No vay. That vould be cold-blooded.
- 00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,395 [ Thunder crashes ]
- 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:09,565 Pooooooooope!
- 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:11,149 Who do you-a bring this time?
- 00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:13,235 The Harlem Globetrotters?
- 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,736 That's actually a good pitch.
- 00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:15,863 It's over for you, Pope!
- 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:18,031 Time to atone for your sins.
- 00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:20,784 Bigfoot, you were God's greatest assassin.
- 00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:23,996 Now look at you-- hairless with normal feet.
- 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,081 Yes! [ Laughs evilly ]
- 00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:28,292 Rick, the energy relay's still up!
- 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:31,086 Shit, was really counting on those monsters to lose faster.
- 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,921 [ Laughing ] Huh?
- 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:33,964 That's more like it.
- 00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:35,299 Pour one out for the Wolfman.
- 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,758 I don't understand.
- 00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:38,135 You know what they say,
- 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,262 when God closes an infinite energy relay...
- 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,805 Nooooo!
- 00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:43,974 God damn--
- 00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:46,810 [ Warbling ]
- 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:51,690 [ Video game tune plays ]
- 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,651 Alright, I'm just gonna say it so nobody else has to say it.
- 00:19:54,651 --> 00:19:57,237 Popey Ball. There. Okay.
- 00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:59,281 If I didn't say anything, someone was gonna be like,
- 00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:01,450 "You missed Popey Ball. It was right there."
- 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:04,161 I thought about not using a Poké Ball because of that,
- 00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:06,455 and it's just the right tool for the right job.
- 00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:08,248 W-What, am I supposed to not use it
- 00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:10,918 and shoot the Pope in the head?
- 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,377 I was gonna say it.
- 00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:16,548 Wait, w-why are we at the woods?
- 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,759 Time to go on home, big fella.
- 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,594 Oh. Uh, okay.
- 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,471 You're free. Just go!
- 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,597 You guys are being weird.
- 00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,140 Stop making this so hard for us!
- 00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:27,309 Go on. Why can't you go back where you came from?
- 00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:30,979 Ow! You don't have to throw things at me to say goodbye.
- 00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:31,980 Just go!
- 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:33,815 I'm not an animal anymore.
- 00:20:33,815 --> 00:20:37,903 I-I was hoping I could-- I could get a job and-- Ow!
- 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,613 Go on! Get! Get out of here!
- 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:41,531 I'm going. I'm going, okay?
- 00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,825 Ow! Stop throwing things!
- 00:20:43,825 --> 00:20:44,868 Ow! Go!
- 00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:46,495 Okay, I'm leaving. Get out of here!
- 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,913 Okay. Go on, get!
- 00:20:47,913 --> 00:21:17,818 {\an8}♪
- 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:21,738 [ Crowd cheering ]
- 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,617 [ Video game music plays ]
- 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:27,369 [ Roars ]
- 00:21:30,288 --> 00:21:31,331 Wha-- Wha?
- 00:21:31,331 --> 00:21:32,499 Oh!
- 00:21:32,499 --> 00:21:35,544 [ Roars ]
- 00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:37,629 [ Siren wailing ]
- 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,383 What kind of sick sons of bitches...
- 00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:42,551 These things are trained to fight.
- 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,177 I don't want to hear it, Henderson.
- 00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:46,388 Wh-What year is it?
- 00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,514 Who's the Pope?
- 00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:48,849 Shit if I know.
- 00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:49,808 Let me check.
- 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:50,809 [ Buttons clicking ]
- 00:21:50,809 --> 00:21:52,102 This guy, apparently.
- 00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:53,437 [ <i>Chattering]</i>
- 00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:56,982 Nooooo!
- 00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:00,318 Did you get any of that?