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Рикмурай Джек
Рик покидает аниме-жизнь с воронами, когда обнаруживает, что он их «интрижка». Он и Морти идут в Цитадель, но к ним обращаются Рики, которые ведут их к президенту Морти. Там президент Морти раскрывает, что он — Злой Морти, и что он использовал сканирование мозга Рика, чтобы создать путь за пределами Центральной конечной кривой, огорожённой стеной — частью мультивселенной, где Рик — самый умный человек из ныне живущих. Воспоминания раскрывают предысторию Рика: после того, как альтернативный Рик убил его жену и молодую Бет, он изобрёл портальную пушку, чтобы прочесать мультивселенную в поисках убийцы его семьи, «Злого Рика», но не добился успеха. После воссоединения с альтернативной взрослой Бет, он в конечном итоге заключил сделку с другими альтернативными Риками, чтобы создать Кривую, контролируемую через Цитадель. Для того, чтобы получить достаточно Морти, которые маскируют «гениальный мозговой след» Риков, Цитадель Риков заставила многих Джерри и Бет влюбиться в множестве альтернативных реальностей. Злой Морти взламывает все портальные орудия в городе, что приводит к повсеместной смерти, после чего использует их кровь и испорченную портальную жидкость, чтобы сбежать из Кривой в спасательной капсуле, в то время как Рик, Морти и группа выживших Риков и Морти сбегают из Цитадели, разрушенной чёрной дырой. Злой Морти успешно сбегает из Кривой и входит в золотой портал. В сцене после титров мистер Жопосранчик, который сейчас в разводе, размышляет о том, как правильно поступить, когда человек осознаёт, кто на самом деле его близкие, и о том, что у людей не так много времени, как они думают.
- 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,633 ГЛАВА 13: «КРЫЛО И МОЛИТВА»
- 00:00:14,045 --> 00:00:15,680 Это человек-ворон!
- 00:00:22,228 --> 00:00:24,948 Подождите. Вдруг он достал его, чтобы сдаться.
- 00:00:34,103 --> 00:00:36,183 Это анти-герой! Бежим!
- 00:00:36,285 --> 00:00:37,943 Я не понимаю.
- 00:00:38,034 --> 00:00:39,349 Он же всего один человек.
- 00:00:39,429 --> 00:00:41,280 С силой тысячи воронов.
- 00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:46,960 Удачи.
- 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,790 Вороны и совы воевали постоянно, но тебе какое дело?
- 00:00:51,977 --> 00:00:52,883 Зачем это тебе?
- 00:00:52,963 --> 00:00:54,011 Их две.
- 00:00:59,188 --> 00:01:01,028 - Да, круто. - Морти?
- 00:01:01,874 --> 00:01:02,773 П-привет.
- 00:01:02,853 --> 00:01:04,114 Рад тебя видеть.
- 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:08,765 Ты... ты до сих пор тащишься по воронам.
- 00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:10,753 Два ворона, вы помните Морти.
- 00:01:10,833 --> 00:01:12,091 Морти, это два ворона.
- 00:01:12,513 --> 00:01:14,663 Я рад тебя видеть, но надо было предупредить.
- 00:01:14,743 --> 00:01:17,028 Да я был тут неподалёку. Не то чтобы я...
- 00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:19,691 Битве за воронов нет конца.
- 00:01:20,193 --> 00:01:22,514 Что ж. Тогда в ней нет смысла, да?
- 00:01:23,073 --> 00:01:25,120 Грубовато я сказал... осуждающе.
- 00:01:25,233 --> 00:01:26,651 Вороконь. Вороконь.
- 00:01:26,763 --> 00:01:28,000 - Ладно. - Вороконь.
- 00:01:28,103 --> 00:01:29,203 - Похоже... - Вороконь.
- 00:01:29,283 --> 00:01:31,417 Похоже, они ведут тебя куда-то.
- 00:01:32,023 --> 00:01:32,973 Береги себя, Морти.
- 00:01:33,234 --> 00:01:34,583 И ты себя.
- 00:01:34,697 --> 00:01:36,000 Кстати, у меня всё хорошо.
- 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,673 Папа собирался съесть йогурт,
- 00:01:37,783 --> 00:01:39,840 который ты оставил в холодильнике, н-но я сказал ему…
- 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:44,365 <i>Ветер несёт меня.</i>
- 00:01:45,394 --> 00:01:50,297 <i>Мы возносимся на чёрных крыльях,</i>
- 00:01:51,343 --> 00:01:56,674 <i>Мы будем биться вместе целую вечность,</i>
- 00:01:57,493 --> 00:02:01,885 <i>Там, где кончается небо,</i>
- 00:02:03,393 --> 00:02:05,120 <i>С тобой.</i>
- 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,234 РИК И ДВА ВОРОНА
- 00:02:22,853 --> 00:02:25,623 Я ищу вороного пугателя.
- 00:02:26,468 --> 00:02:28,903 Воронье пугало? Злое воронье пугало.
- 00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,383 Ну же. Кто сдаст его первым – будет жить.
- 00:02:32,468 --> 00:02:34,081 Ладно, прихлопну очередного мудака,
- 00:02:34,161 --> 00:02:35,783 хоть шаги поднаберу.
- 00:02:42,331 --> 00:02:43,577 Кошанчик.
- 00:02:51,497 --> 00:02:52,217 Рик!
- 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,337 Морти?
- 00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:54,503 Бревно?
- 00:02:57,383 --> 00:02:59,033 Морти, шкет, тебе что, сорокет?
- 00:02:59,154 --> 00:03:00,481 Прошло много времени, Рик.
- 00:03:00,561 --> 00:03:03,303 Тогда можем пропустить по стаканчику.
- 00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:05,303 У вас есть ром с колой?
- 00:03:05,573 --> 00:03:07,737 - Тебе что, 20? - Ой, ну перестань.
- 00:03:08,293 --> 00:03:10,217 Как быстро летит время, да?
- 00:03:10,468 --> 00:03:13,314 Это твоя реакция на потраченную впустую жизнь?
- 00:03:13,451 --> 00:03:14,252 Мне нормально.
- 00:03:14,332 --> 00:03:15,953 Но как же я?
- 00:03:16,033 --> 00:03:19,623 Так... Извините, парни, вам лучше отлучиться.
- 00:03:19,813 --> 00:03:23,303 Я думал, что если оставлю тебя в покое, ты вырастешь из этой... фазы.
- 00:03:23,623 --> 00:03:24,948 Вот твоё пойло, позер.
- 00:03:25,783 --> 00:03:27,843 Отец заболел. Четвёртая стадия.
- 00:03:27,923 --> 00:03:30,172 Тебе бы понравилось. Саммер стала медсестрой.
- 00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:32,845 Ну, типа того. Вышла за нарика.
- 00:03:33,657 --> 00:03:35,085 Рик, вернись домой,
- 00:03:35,314 --> 00:03:36,719 пока у нас ещё осталось время.
- 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,332 Морти, у нас были нездоровые отношения.
- 00:03:38,412 --> 00:03:41,634 А эти здоровые? Ты пережил тысячи приключений с этими воронами.
- 00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:43,085 Когда ты убьёшь их главгада?
- 00:03:43,165 --> 00:03:45,805 Во-первых, убить его – это главная цель моих парней,
- 00:03:45,885 --> 00:03:48,274 а во-вторых, иди на хуй за обесценивание моего счастья.
- 00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:50,203 Возможно, ты меня больше не увидишь.
- 00:03:50,283 --> 00:03:51,714 Надеюсь, это не так, Морти,
- 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:55,523 потому что ты выглядишь как кусок говна, а я не хочу запомнить тебя таким.
- 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,360 Теперь, когда два ворона у меня,
- 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,628 ничто не помешает мне уничтожить Рика-ворона!
- 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:18,023 Не надо его оправдывать. Вообще не понимаю, что вы в нём нашли.
- 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,463 Вы правы. Надо наслаждаться этим моментом.
- 00:04:22,343 --> 00:04:23,176 Рик-Ворон!
- 00:04:23,303 --> 00:04:25,474 Понимаю, как это выглядит, но...
- 00:04:25,573 --> 00:04:28,365 Выглядит так, будто мой заклятый враг Вороной Пугатель и мои напарники
- 00:04:28,445 --> 00:04:29,863 намылились в приключение.
- 00:04:29,943 --> 00:04:31,532 Не выставляй себя жертвой.
- 00:04:31,612 --> 00:04:35,531 У нас были приключения ещё задолго до твоего появления.
- 00:04:36,285 --> 00:04:38,183 Три зубных щётки!
- 00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:42,011 В смысле, я был для вас интрижкой?
- 00:04:43,223 --> 00:04:45,473 Вы думаете, что тоже были для меня интрижкой?
- 00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:47,840 Вот срань, теперь в этом нет смысла.
- 00:04:48,043 --> 00:04:49,154 Могло быть и хуже.
- 00:04:49,243 --> 00:04:51,863 Ладно, наши приключения были метафорой романтических отношений,
- 00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:53,257 это не настоящее расставание.
- 00:04:53,337 --> 00:04:56,903 Говори за себя. А мы просто обожаем тела друг друга.
- 00:04:56,983 --> 00:04:58,285 Что? Фу! Нет!
- 00:04:58,388 --> 00:05:01,565 Кажется, он ждёт доказательств. Покажем ему, ребята.
- 00:05:01,743 --> 00:05:03,257 Я ни о чём не просил. Ни о чём.
- 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,285 Грязные пташки.
- 00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:12,937 Дарую свободу воли.
- 00:05:15,257 --> 00:05:17,097 Подчинись Вороконю!
- 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:20,788 Ой.
- 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:23,897 Рик?
- 00:05:24,011 --> 00:05:25,813 Вабба лабба даб даб! Я вернулся, приятель.
- 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:26,983 Морти, кто там пришёл?
- 00:05:27,063 --> 00:05:28,903 Стоп, я думал, что ты подох в мучениях.
- 00:05:28,983 --> 00:05:30,285 Что за дела вообще?
- 00:05:30,365 --> 00:05:31,863 Понимаешь, дело в том, что я...
- 00:05:31,943 --> 00:05:35,097 Пап, это просто смешно, будь добр, верни Морти его возраст.
- 00:05:35,203 --> 00:05:37,760 Возможно, я воспользовался сывороткой старения,
- 00:05:37,863 --> 00:05:39,794 чтобы слегка эмоционально тебя шантажировать.
- 00:05:39,874 --> 00:05:41,523 Сообразил, и я всё понимаю, Морти.
- 00:05:41,603 --> 00:05:42,891 С воронами у меня всё.
- 00:05:43,017 --> 00:05:45,394 Они были дико назойливыми, и я готов вернуться к тебе.
- 00:05:45,474 --> 00:05:46,479 Нажмём на перезапуск.
- 00:05:46,559 --> 00:05:48,286 Погоди, милый. Давай без перезапуска.
- 00:05:48,366 --> 00:05:51,253 Скажи дедушке, что заслуживаешь уважения,
- 00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:53,154 и теперь ты требуешь иного отношения к себе.
- 00:05:53,234 --> 00:05:55,663 Не буду. Я хочу, чтобы мы снова были вместе.
- 00:05:55,743 --> 00:05:56,537 Весь в батю.
- 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:58,743 Не переживай, милая, это кризис среднего возраста.
- 00:05:58,823 --> 00:06:01,418 Когда увидит, что вся жизнь впереди, он станет менее созависимым.
- 00:06:01,498 --> 00:06:04,811 Пусть ему будет сорок, чтобы он покупал «ешки» мне и друзьям.
- 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,674 Я лучше выкину свой голос, чем буду поддерживать сломанную систему.
- 00:06:08,754 --> 00:06:10,444 Давай исправим это на первом приключении.
- 00:06:10,524 --> 00:06:11,873 А то я захотел подстричь газон.
- 00:06:11,953 --> 00:06:14,378 Кто продал тебе эту хреновую сыворотку? Как выглядел?
- 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,373 Как ты. Я взял её в Цитадели.
- 00:06:16,453 --> 00:06:19,314 Заебумба! С бухты-барахты эпизод про Цитадель!
- 00:06:19,394 --> 00:06:21,417 Досвидосы, членососы.
- 00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:28,513 Привет, я – новый талисман Цитадели, Энди.
- 00:06:28,593 --> 00:06:32,251 Ведь это место не было бы домом без Риков, Энди, Морти.
- 00:06:32,354 --> 00:06:33,028 Тупо.
- 00:06:33,223 --> 00:06:34,663 Что стало с этим местом?
- 00:06:34,754 --> 00:06:36,138 Теперь тут Морти – президент.
- 00:06:36,218 --> 00:06:38,412 Чудно. Восстановились и сделали всё милее.
- 00:06:38,492 --> 00:06:39,714 Как в Глендейле.
- 00:06:39,828 --> 00:06:41,291 Чёрт, какой же ты сварливый.
- 00:06:41,394 --> 00:06:42,343 Даже какать больно.
- 00:06:42,423 --> 00:06:44,240 Вот здесь тебя поправят.
- 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,029 ПЕРЕДЕЛАЕМ МОРТИ
- 00:06:45,109 --> 00:06:48,503 Так, у нас тут стандартный Морти, который повзрослел до сорока?
- 00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:49,313 Исправить можно?
- 00:06:49,393 --> 00:06:50,811 Представь, что он – кость.
- 00:06:50,948 --> 00:06:55,203 Можно сломать его возраст в двух местах, убрать середину и срастить две части.
- 00:06:55,303 --> 00:06:56,913 З-звучит жестоко.
- 00:06:56,993 --> 00:06:59,303 - Это же не буквально кость, Морти. - Ну ладно.
- 00:06:59,383 --> 00:07:02,240 Крепись, во время процедуры поломаются все кости в теле.
- 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:04,313 Погоди!
- 00:07:05,097 --> 00:07:06,948 Люблю карандаши. Девчонки – бяки.
- 00:07:09,508 --> 00:07:12,263 К-кажется, я снова стал собой.
- 00:07:12,343 --> 00:07:15,337 Выглядишь странно. Кожа розовая, как у новорожденного мышонка.
- 00:07:15,417 --> 00:07:16,137 Это нормально?
- 00:07:16,217 --> 00:07:16,858 Возможно.
- 00:07:16,938 --> 00:07:19,554 Распишись за хранение или утилизацию 26 лет, что мы убрали.
- 00:07:19,634 --> 00:07:20,321 Что?
- 00:07:20,401 --> 00:07:22,058 Я не буду платить за хранение 26 лет.
- 00:07:22,138 --> 00:07:23,703 Тогда бери с собой.
- 00:07:25,291 --> 00:07:27,074 Я почти готов продаться.
- 00:07:27,291 --> 00:07:28,857 Сколько стоит утилизация?
- 00:07:30,643 --> 00:07:32,137 Какая-то несправедливость.
- 00:07:32,217 --> 00:07:33,813 Выхода нет! Выхода нет!
- 00:07:33,893 --> 00:07:36,148 Я помогу, а то выглядит не очень.
- 00:07:36,651 --> 00:07:37,144 Блин.
- 00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:40,560 Меня пристрелили! Ты мешаешь людям наслаждаться Цитаделью.
- 00:07:40,643 --> 00:07:41,256 Выслушайте!
- 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:41,978 Бросай ствол!
- 00:07:42,058 --> 00:07:45,280 Нас всех ждёт смерть, а Цитадель — это оружие массового...
- 00:07:46,194 --> 00:07:48,218 Да уж. Тебя отстранят с сохранением зарплаты.
- 00:07:48,298 --> 00:07:50,388 Валим, Морти, а то утонем в политоте.
- 00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:53,234 Я был влиятельным?
- 00:07:53,343 --> 00:07:56,383 Да, ты был влиятельным. У тебя было семь...
- 00:07:56,463 --> 00:07:57,657 семь блогов.
- 00:07:57,794 --> 00:07:58,627 Ништяк.
- 00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,051 Поздно.
- 00:08:01,188 --> 00:08:04,843 Рик С-137, президент Морти приглашает вас отужинать с ним.
- 00:08:04,925 --> 00:08:07,663 - Ух ты! Серьёзно? - А ничего, что я уничтожил это место?
- 00:08:07,743 --> 00:08:08,937 Вас помиловали, сэр.
- 00:08:09,073 --> 00:08:10,663 Рик, давай поужинаем с президентом Морти.
- 00:08:10,743 --> 00:08:12,834 Морти, мы хотели вернуться к простым приключениям,
- 00:08:12,914 --> 00:08:14,354 а в Цитадели всё завязано на каноне.
- 00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:17,703 Ладно, похоже, что всё и правда вернётся на круги своя.
- 00:08:17,874 --> 00:08:19,288 Ладно, можно и поесть.
- 00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,783 Но как только он выдаст злую натуру, мы валим.
- 00:08:25,173 --> 00:08:27,177 Ну не знаю. Довольно вкусно.
- 00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:30,228 Скажи, если почувствуешь отравление. Рад, что ты со мной.
- 00:08:32,754 --> 00:08:33,521 Простите за опоздание.
- 00:08:33,601 --> 00:08:34,755 Дел непочатый край.
- 00:08:34,835 --> 00:08:37,473 Глянь-ка, Морти. Из тебя и правда сделали президента.
- 00:08:37,553 --> 00:08:39,691 И я ненавижу их за это каждый день. Надо же!
- 00:08:39,771 --> 00:08:43,343 Рик С-137. Ради такого человека и дела можно сдвинуть.
- 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,760 Надеюсь, ты не будешь тут всё взрывать.
- 00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,503 Если не собираешься заточить меня.
- 00:08:47,583 --> 00:08:48,857 Блин, об этом можно лишь мечтать.
- 00:08:48,937 --> 00:08:50,674 Но здорово, что ты заскочил, хотя…
- 00:08:50,754 --> 00:08:52,343 я бы всё равно тебя поймал.
- 00:08:52,433 --> 00:08:53,897 Показал натуру. Потанцуем.
- 00:08:53,977 --> 00:08:54,914 Блин.
- 00:08:54,994 --> 00:08:57,793 Рик, перестань. Рики и Морти избрали его президентом.
- 00:08:57,908 --> 00:08:58,685 Он же хороший.
- 00:08:58,765 --> 00:09:00,213 Все политики ведут себя хорошо.
- 00:09:00,293 --> 00:09:01,668 А ему палец в рот не клади…
- 00:09:01,748 --> 00:09:02,732 Да, мы многое пережили.
- 00:09:02,812 --> 00:09:03,913 И он не любит...
- 00:09:03,993 --> 00:09:05,235 ...растянутые мылодрамы.
- 00:09:05,315 --> 00:09:07,269 Да, никакой драмы, лучше эпизодично.
- 00:09:07,349 --> 00:09:10,103 В его случае — пустая трата легенды.
- 00:09:10,513 --> 00:09:12,491 - Ты знал, что он построил это место? - Чего?
- 00:09:12,571 --> 00:09:14,514 А ты в этом месте, смотрю, навел марафет, да?
- 00:09:14,594 --> 00:09:15,783 Поэтому изуродованные Морти
- 00:09:15,863 --> 00:09:18,693 вылезают из канализации с мыслями о надежде и переменах?
- 00:09:18,773 --> 00:09:19,304 Ты прав.
- 00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,829 Хорошо подловил, Рик. Что за дела такие, мистер П?
- 00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:24,803 Есть у меня проект, требующий рабочую силу.
- 00:09:24,883 --> 00:09:29,783 Можно и без неё обойтись, если расскажешь, как разрушить центральную конечную кривую.
- 00:09:29,863 --> 00:09:30,743 Пора уходить, Морти.
- 00:09:30,823 --> 00:09:32,090 Хочу знать, о чём это он.
- 00:09:32,170 --> 00:09:33,416 Ты проделал такой путь.
- 00:09:33,496 --> 00:09:34,719 Может, дашь 10 секунд?
- 00:09:34,799 --> 00:09:36,446 Буквально десять? Тогда осталось шесть.
- 00:09:36,526 --> 00:09:37,863 Сойдёт.
- 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,685 Пусть даже две, одна...
- 00:09:40,868 --> 00:09:45,063 В общем, ты бы помог, если бы рассказал, но я и так получил всё, что нужно.
- 00:09:45,154 --> 00:09:46,363 Только проверю.
- 00:09:46,443 --> 00:09:48,843 Под закуски невозможно просканировать целый мозг.
- 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,851 Твой почти полностью отсканировали ещё очень давно.
- 00:09:52,457 --> 00:09:53,394 А ты и забыл.
- 00:09:53,588 --> 00:09:55,873 Это было в десятой серии первого сезона, Риканутые.
- 00:09:55,953 --> 00:09:57,714 Эксельсиор.
- 00:09:57,828 --> 00:09:58,753 Злой Рик.
- 00:09:58,833 --> 00:09:59,817 Мы же уделали его.
- 00:09:59,897 --> 00:10:01,223 Злой Рик. Мне нравится.
- 00:10:01,303 --> 00:10:02,696 Самый умный человек во вселенной
- 00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:05,776 с таким большим эго, что им можно играться, как джойстиком.
- 00:10:06,137 --> 00:10:06,926 Вроде всё есть.
- 00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:09,715 А я думал, что придётся убить всех Риков в Цитадели.
- 00:10:09,795 --> 00:10:11,588 Козлина! Я же ручался за тебя!
- 00:10:11,668 --> 00:10:13,583 Он пришёл к тебе, только потому что я попросил.
- 00:10:13,663 --> 00:10:14,703 Прости, Рик.
- 00:10:14,783 --> 00:10:17,703 Твоё извинение и отвёртка в моей руке стоили бы отвёртки.
- 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:19,273 Поражаюсь продажным Морти.
- 00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:22,194 Я бы ненавидел вас сильнее, чем Риков, которых вы боготворите, да смысла нет.
- 00:10:22,274 --> 00:10:23,336 Вы не можете по-другому.
- 00:10:23,416 --> 00:10:24,743 Вас штампуют ради этого.
- 00:10:24,823 --> 00:10:25,794 Хочешь посмотреть?
- 00:10:29,343 --> 00:10:31,051 Ты знаешь, что Рики-ренегаты используют Морти,
- 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,123 чтобы прятаться от Цитадели.
- 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,063 Но вряд ли тебе известно:
- 00:10:35,143 --> 00:10:37,532 благодаря этому Цитадель стала рынком Морти.
- 00:10:37,612 --> 00:10:41,451 И ты явно не знаешь, как далеко они зашли в удовлетворении спроса.
- 00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:44,948 Рики могут прочесать бесконечность в поисках внуков,
- 00:10:45,043 --> 00:10:49,443 рожденных естественным путём, но зачем? Столько усилий! Спрос рождает предложение.
- 00:10:50,137 --> 00:10:52,445 Нет бесконечных версий нашего дедушки, Морти.
- 00:10:52,571 --> 00:10:55,188 Он – бесконечный чиркаш одного дерьмового старика.
- 00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:59,794 И он бесконечно привязывается к нам через свою слабость и наше прощение.
- 00:11:00,891 --> 00:11:02,133 Поэтому мы с ним.
- 00:11:02,651 --> 00:11:04,133 Поэтому мы живы.
- 00:11:07,771 --> 00:11:11,033 Что за херня? Скажи, что это неправда.
- 00:11:11,113 --> 00:11:12,183 Это не вся правда.
- 00:11:12,263 --> 00:11:12,812 - Врёшь. - Врёшь.
- 00:11:12,892 --> 00:11:14,803 - Всё сложно. - Я ничем не занят.
- 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:18,834 Морти, помнишь я сказал, что мне нужно лишь твоё извинение и отвёртка в руке?
- 00:11:19,028 --> 00:11:21,269 Но я забыл, что отвёртка у меня буквально в руке.
- 00:11:21,349 --> 00:11:23,897 Прикиньте, я же по сути Инспектор Гаджет.
- 00:11:26,388 --> 00:11:27,771 Ой-ёй. Пускай уходит.
- 00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:29,783 Он – самый Рикнутый Рик.
- 00:11:30,068 --> 00:11:31,763 Мы его больше не увидим.
- 00:11:33,908 --> 00:11:36,858 Морти, ты заправлял здесь пушку, когда пришел за сывороткой?
- 00:11:37,223 --> 00:11:38,068 Да.
- 00:11:39,863 --> 00:11:40,914 Твою мать!
- 00:11:41,143 --> 00:11:43,428 Только один человек смог взломать мою портальную пушку,
- 00:11:43,508 --> 00:11:45,246 и оказывается, это был злой ты.
- 00:11:45,326 --> 00:11:47,303 Ура. Наконец-то догнал.
- 00:11:48,903 --> 00:11:50,171 Так, погодите, погодите.
- 00:11:52,403 --> 00:11:52,984 Кто это?
- 00:11:53,064 --> 00:11:55,063 Большая шишка. В укрытие!
- 00:11:57,543 --> 00:11:58,285 Ему это нравится?
- 00:11:58,445 --> 00:12:00,945 Это – метафора капитализма, Морти. Сам как думаешь?
- 00:12:01,748 --> 00:12:03,520 Хвать!
- 00:12:20,377 --> 00:12:21,885 От прошлого не убежать, Рик.
- 00:12:23,463 --> 00:12:25,635 Ты думал, что разобьёшь силовое поле со второго выстрела?
- 00:12:25,715 --> 00:12:28,263 Я выразил несогласие с твоими репликами.
- 00:12:28,891 --> 00:12:30,183 Не соглашайся сколько влезет.
- 00:12:30,263 --> 00:12:33,093 Сегодня качество реплик потеряет значение.
- 00:12:33,173 --> 00:12:35,977 Сегодня я проверну ту штуку, которую хотел...
- 00:12:36,114 --> 00:12:37,973 с кривой.
- 00:12:41,239 --> 00:12:43,021 Не уходите. Оставайтесь.
- 00:12:43,216 --> 00:12:44,793 Не уходите. Оставайтесь.
- 00:12:44,896 --> 00:12:46,599 Не уходите. Оставайтесь.
- 00:12:46,827 --> 00:12:50,519 Не уходите. Оставайтесь.
- 00:12:50,599 --> 00:12:52,519 Не уходите. Оставайтесь.
- 00:12:52,599 --> 00:12:54,599 Не уходите. Оставайтесь.
- 00:12:54,879 --> 00:12:58,549 В такие неспокойные времена очень важно сказать... говна наверните и в жопу идите.
- 00:12:58,629 --> 00:13:01,616 Фармацевты платят за всё, что я говорю. У меня миллионы долларов,
- 00:13:01,696 --> 00:13:05,330 и мне пофиг, если вы... Блядь! О нет!
- 00:13:05,616 --> 00:13:09,266 А я скажу, что рецептурные препараты — это хорошо, так что сходите и купите.
- 00:13:09,696 --> 00:13:12,370 - Что происходит, Рик? - Он взломал порталы во всём городе.
- 00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:15,421 Давай, возможно, есть один выход... снизу.
- 00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:23,283 Что он хотел найти в твоём мозге?
- 00:13:23,363 --> 00:13:26,039 Наверное, чертежи пространственного двигателя Цитадели.
- 00:13:26,119 --> 00:13:27,512 Если он хочет взорвать кривую,
- 00:13:27,592 --> 00:13:28,700 то лучше бы нам свалить.
- 00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:30,129 Что это вообще за кривая?
- 00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:31,775 Вопросы после того, как выживем.
- 00:13:31,855 --> 00:13:33,513 Надеюсь, мы сможем достать нетронутую жидкость
- 00:13:33,593 --> 00:13:35,539 из источника и съебаться отсюда.
- 00:13:36,541 --> 00:13:37,639 Или нет.
- 00:13:40,061 --> 00:13:42,873 Н-да, а я думал, что моя метафора капитализма была в лоб.
- 00:13:44,816 --> 00:13:46,579 Ты помогал строить Цитадель?
- 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,153 Ты что, врал мне обо всём?
- 00:13:48,313 --> 00:13:50,679 Может, прошмыгнём через пещеру? У нас чистый лист, Морти.
- 00:13:50,759 --> 00:13:51,902 Теперь только простые приключения.
- 00:13:51,982 --> 00:13:53,982 Никакого листа, пока ты не расскажешь всё.
- 00:13:54,062 --> 00:13:56,519 Морти, времени нет. Скоро всё взорвётся.
- 00:13:56,599 --> 00:13:59,099 Я тебе не верю. И больше ничего не буду делать,
- 00:13:59,179 --> 00:14:00,667 пока не получу прямые ответы.
- 00:14:00,747 --> 00:14:03,227 Твою мать. Вот мой сраный скачанный мозг, Морти.
- 00:14:03,307 --> 00:14:04,379 Хочешь рейтинги скатить?
- 00:14:04,459 --> 00:14:07,068 Хочешь узнать мою дурацкую сопливую предысторию? Валяй.
- 00:14:07,148 --> 00:14:08,576 Но не сейчас!
- 00:16:28,079 --> 00:16:30,427 - Круто, Рик! - Да, неплохо, Морти!
- 00:16:31,730 --> 00:16:33,679 Ого. Мёртвая жена?
- 00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:35,650 Да, теперь все наконец могут заткнуться.
- 00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:36,564 Ух ты, Рик.
- 00:16:37,239 --> 00:16:40,291 - Мне стало лучше, когда я это увидел. - Да, в этом всё и дело.
- 00:16:40,371 --> 00:16:43,010 Они считают себя жертвами несправедливости.
- 00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:45,513 Чем и оправдывают вот это.
- 00:16:47,901 --> 00:16:50,450 Морти, я не могу отвечать за каждого шизанутого Рика.
- 00:16:50,530 --> 00:16:52,953 Каждый из них так говорит. Это их оправдание.
- 00:16:53,033 --> 00:16:53,992 Это часть их естества.
- 00:16:54,072 --> 00:16:55,439 У них нет чувства ответственности.
- 00:16:55,519 --> 00:16:56,987 Все они – жертвы самих себя.
- 00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:58,959 «Как же трудно быть гением».
- 00:16:59,039 --> 00:16:59,891 Может, просто умрёшь?
- 00:16:59,971 --> 00:17:02,496 - И чего ты с этим сделаешь? - Ни хрена. Я ухожу.
- 00:17:02,781 --> 00:17:04,644 Знаешь, что такое центральная конечная кривая?
- 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,439 Они построили стену вокруг бесконечности.
- 00:17:06,519 --> 00:17:09,776 Отделили все бесконечные вселенные от бесконечных вселенных,
- 00:17:09,856 --> 00:17:11,679 в которых он – самый умный человек во вселенной.
- 00:17:11,759 --> 00:17:15,449 Каждая версия нас прожила каждую версию наших жизней в бесконечной колыбели,
- 00:17:15,529 --> 00:17:17,981 построенной вокруг бесконечного сраного дитя.
- 00:17:18,199 --> 00:17:20,553 И я покину её. Поэтому я считаюсь злым?
- 00:17:20,747 --> 00:17:22,039 Потому что он меня бесит?
- 00:17:22,496 --> 00:17:24,746 Если он тоже тебя бесил, значит, ты тоже злой.
- 00:17:25,969 --> 00:17:28,279 Рик, ты правда бросил воронов ради меня?
- 00:17:28,587 --> 00:17:30,861 Или ты вернулся, потому что они тебя бросили?
- 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:33,289 Во-во, парень.
- 00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:35,136 Теперь ты тоже Злой Морти.
- 00:17:35,216 --> 00:17:36,861 Все мы станем злыми
- 00:17:36,987 --> 00:17:38,667 по эту сторону кривой.
- 00:17:53,369 --> 00:17:56,553 Не парься, Морти. Есть выход, до которого не додумался никто. Операция «Феникс».
- 00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:58,005 Но это же вроде как смерть.
- 00:17:58,085 --> 00:18:01,673 Да, но им же хуже, ведь мы нашли чёрный ход с этого булыжника.
- 00:18:03,753 --> 00:18:04,907 <i>Перенаправлено.</i>
- 00:18:05,593 --> 00:18:08,770 <i>Перенаправлено. Перенаправлено. Перенаправлено.</i>
- 00:18:09,101 --> 00:18:12,009 <i>Перенаправлено. Перенаправлено. Перенаправлено.</i>
- 00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:18,221 - Боже, что за пиздец? - Давай, Морти. Пора валить.
- 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,901 Идём, если хочешь.
- 00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:23,936 Если нет, то меня не вини.
- 00:18:25,039 --> 00:18:27,581 Я думаю, что это лучшее предложение на рынке.
- 00:18:27,661 --> 00:18:29,189 У-у меня нет плана.
- 00:18:33,936 --> 00:18:36,039 Спасибо, приятель. Рад, что ты не послушал мой совет.
- 00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:37,859 Оно и к лучшему. Я соглал.
- 00:18:37,939 --> 00:18:39,399 Второе сиденье – это туалет.
- 00:18:39,479 --> 00:18:41,159 Вот конченая мразота.
- 00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:43,044 Но признание сделало его отчасти крутым.
- 00:18:43,124 --> 00:18:45,501 Блин, вы и правда созданы ради прощения. Валим.
- 00:18:56,039 --> 00:18:57,776 ДОБРО ПОЖАЛОВАТЬ В МОРТИБУРГ
- 00:19:01,079 --> 00:19:03,581 Прощайтесь с Цитаделью, ребята.
- 00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,141 Ой-ёй!
- 00:19:36,381 --> 00:19:38,131 ВКЛЮЧИТЬ МОЖНО ТОЛЬКО С НАПАРНИКОМ.
- 00:20:59,616 --> 00:21:00,919 Злой Морти.
- 00:21:00,999 --> 00:21:02,379 Вот это он придумал!
- 00:21:02,459 --> 00:21:05,119 Интересно, может, есть и мой злой двойник?
- 00:21:05,199 --> 00:21:08,739 Хотя, судя по моей жизни, такой двойник мне и не нужен.
- 00:21:08,819 --> 00:21:12,779 Потому что я сам испоганил свою жизнь.
- 00:21:12,859 --> 00:21:17,039 Ой-ёй. Я не смог вернуться на работу в университете. Помните?
- 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:18,657 Рик научил меня карате.
- 00:21:18,737 --> 00:21:20,239 А ведь было забавно.
- 00:21:20,319 --> 00:21:22,499 Но потом всё пошло по наклонной.
- 00:21:22,579 --> 00:21:24,929 Я начал отдаляться от Эми.
- 00:21:25,009 --> 00:21:27,171 Раньше я рассказывал ей обо всём, что чувствую,
- 00:21:27,251 --> 00:21:28,827 но потом перестал.
- 00:21:28,953 --> 00:21:31,319 Ведь я хотел, чтобы она любила меня таким, каким видела в своих глазах,
- 00:21:31,399 --> 00:21:33,273 а не таким, каким я становился.
- 00:21:33,456 --> 00:21:36,119 Не задумывались, в каком ужасе были бы наши близкие,
- 00:21:36,199 --> 00:21:37,994 если бы узнали, какие мы на самом деле?
- 00:21:38,074 --> 00:21:41,939 И вот каждый день мы закапываемся в свои жизни всё глубже и глубже.
- 00:21:42,019 --> 00:21:45,193 И делаем больно людям, которым хватило смелости полюбить нас.
- 00:21:45,593 --> 00:21:47,109 Лучше бы я этого не делал.
- 00:21:47,189 --> 00:21:49,433 Лучше бы мне хватило смелости дарить любовь в ответ.
- 00:21:49,513 --> 00:21:51,844 Даже не знаю. Попробуйте так сделать.
- 00:21:52,233 --> 00:21:55,570 У нас не так много времени, как кажется. Ой-ёй.
- 00:21:56,899 --> 00:22:01,899 Перевод: Женя Спицын Синхронизация под рип: Георгий Владимиров
- 00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:12,969 Oh! Oh! Ah!
- 00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:17,017 It's the crow man!
- 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,501 Give it a second.
- 00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:25,503 Maybe he's taking it out to surrender.
- 00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:35,861 He's anti-heroic. Run!
- 00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:37,950 I don't understand.
- 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:39,300 He's only one man!
- 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,258 With the power of a thousand crows.
- 00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:43,913 Oh, oh! Ooh!
- 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,177 Good luck.
- 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,702 Crows and owls have always been at war,
- 00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:51,921 but why do you care?
- 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:52,922 What's the point?
- 00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:55,316 Here's two.
- 00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:01,104 Ha-ha! Yeah. Cool. Morty?
- 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,975 Uh, h-hey, man!
- 00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:04,020 Good to see you!
- 00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:07,197 Y-You're, like, looking, like,
- 00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:08,764 into crows...still.
- 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,766 Oh, uh, two crows, you remember Morty.
- 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,376 Morty, two crows.
- 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,812 It's good to see you,
- 00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:15,205 but if you'd given me more of a heads up --
- 00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:16,946 Well, I-I was just in the neighborhood.
- 00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:18,382 I-It wasn't like --It's just that the battle for crows
- 00:01:18,426 --> 00:01:20,341 is kind of never-ending.
- 00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:21,298 Huh. Right.
- 00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,126 A little pointless, then, right?
- 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,128 That came out wrong, s-sounded judgy.
- 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,261 -Crowhorse. Crowhorse. -Okay.
- 00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:29,393 -Crowhorse. Crowhorse. -Looks like...
- 00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:32,048 looks like they're leading you to a thing.
- 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,267 Take care, Morty.
- 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,398 You -- You too!
- 00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:36,183 I-I'm doing good, by the way.
- 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:38,402 Oh, my dad was gonna eat that yogurt you left in the fridge
- 00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:39,142 but I-I told him --
- 00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:24,187 I'm looking for...
- 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,320 Crow Scare.
- 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,974 The scarecrow? The evil scarecrow?
- 00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:32,195 Come on. Whoever gives him up first lives.
- 00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,284 Fine, I can kill an extra asshole.
- 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:35,416 Helps me get my steps in.
- 00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,470 Ah!
- 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,430 Ahhh!
- 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,434 Rick! Morty?
- 00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:54,652 Wood?!
- 00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:56,306 Aghhhh!
- 00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,135 Uh, Morty, why are you now like 40?
- 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,571 Th-That's how long it's been, Rick.
- 00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:03,226 Oh, uh, I guess we can have a drink together, then.
- 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,489 Do you have a rum and Coke?
- 00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:06,577 What are you, 20?
- 00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,449 Oh, bless your heart.
- 00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,277 Time be goin' by, don't she?
- 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,017 That's your reaction to finding out
- 00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,497 you wasted your entire life?
- 00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:14,455 I feel okay.
- 00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:15,891 Well -- well, what about me?!
- 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,936 Whoa. Excuse us, boys.
- 00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,938 You don't wanna be here for this.
- 00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:21,244 I thought if I gave you enough space,
- 00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:23,290 you'd outgrow this... phase.
- 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,640 Here's your drink, poser.
- 00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:28,120 Dad got sick, you know. Stage 4.
- 00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,513 You would've loved it.
- 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,428 Summer's a nurse -- well, pretty much a nurse.
- 00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,517 She -- She married a junkie.
- 00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,476 Rick, come home,
- 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:36,694 while we still got a little time.
- 00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,261 Morty, what we had wasn't healthy.
- 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,089 And this is?
- 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:41,482 Y-You've had a thousand adventures with these crows.
- 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,092 When are you gonna kill their big bad?
- 00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:44,702 First off, the "will they/kill they"
- 00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,530 is everything to my guys.
- 00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:48,358 And second, fuck you for trying to undermine my happiness.
- 00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,360 This may be the last time you ever lay eyes on me!
- 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:51,970 I hope that's not true, Morty,
- 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:53,711 because you look like s[burps]shit,
- 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,061 and this is not how I wanna remember you.
- 00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,381 Now that I have his two crows,
- 00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:14,297 nothing will stop me from eliminating Crow Rick.
- 00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:15,994 Don't defend him to me.
- 00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,779 I don't even get what you see in him.
- 00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,302 You're right.
- 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:22,436 We should be enjoying the time we have together.
- 00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:23,785 Crow Rick!
- 00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,308 Oh, I-I know what this must look like, but --
- 00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,528 It looks like my arch nemesis, Crow Scare,
- 00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:29,791 and my sidekicks planning adventures together.
- 00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,445 You are hardly the victim here.
- 00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,534 I was adventuring with these two crows
- 00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,579 before you ever came along.
- 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,890 What do you mean, "using me as a rebound?"
- 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,676 You feel like I was using you as a rebound, too?
- 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,896 Well, shit, this lost all meaning.
- 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,332 I guess it could have been worse.
- 00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:50,899 At least adventuring was just a metaphor
- 00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:53,118 for romantic partnership, so it's not a real break-up.
- 00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,598 Speak for yourself.
- 00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,992 We immensely enjoy each other's bodies.
- 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,602 What?! Ugh! No!
- 00:04:58,646 --> 00:04:59,995 Sounds like the man's asking for proof.
- 00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:01,692 Let's show him, fellas!
- 00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,390 -I-I asked for zero proof! -Ahh!
- 00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,565 Zero proof!
- 00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,225 I'm giving you free will.
- 00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:15,619 Yah!
- 00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,447 Submit to Crow Horse!
- 00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,408 Whoops.
- 00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,586 -Rick? -Wubba lubba dub dub! I'm back, pal!
- 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,283 Morty, who's at the door?
- 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,980 Wait a minute. I thought you died gruesomely?
- 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,417 W-what the hell's going on here?
- 00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:31,809 See, uh, the -- the thing is, uh...
- 00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:33,942 Can you please make Morty 14 again, Dad?
- 00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,596 This is ridiculous.
- 00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:37,554 Okay, look, I-I may have used an aging serum
- 00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,730 to kind of emotionally blackmail you a little.
- 00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,384 I kind of figured, and I totally get it, Morty,
- 00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,255 I-I'm done with the two crows.
- 00:05:43,299 --> 00:05:45,432 Like, they were super clingy and I'm ready to make this work.
- 00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:46,563 Let's just hit the reset button.
- 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,565 Well, no, honey, not a reset, okay?
- 00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:51,307 Tell your grandpa that you're worthy of his respect
- 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,222 and you want to be treated differently from now on.
- 00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:54,397 I refuse to do that.
- 00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:55,790 I-I'm desperate to get back together.
- 00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:57,400 -Just like his old man. -Don't worry, honey.
- 00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:58,619 That's just Morty's middle age talking.
- 00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,098 He'll be less codependent once we get
- 00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,665 more of his life in front of him again.
- 00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:02,840 Uh, I'd like him to stay 40
- 00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:05,539 so he can keep buying my friends molly.
- 00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:06,627 I'd rather throw my vote away
- 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,542 than use it to support a flawed system.
- 00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:10,500 Can we make our first adventure fixing this?
- 00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,284 I keep thinking about -lawn care. -Okay, buddy.
- 00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,677 Who sold you this shitty aging serum?
- 00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,331 -What did he look like? -Just like you.
- 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,202 I-I got it -from the Citadel. -Hot damn.
- 00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:19,291 Hittin' the ground running with a Citadel episode.
- 00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:20,902 See ya later, masturbators.
- 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,692 Hi! I'm Citadel's new mascot, Andy,
- 00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:29,998 because this place wouldn't be home
- 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:32,261 without Ricks "Andy" Mortys.
- 00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:33,523 Dumb.
- 00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:34,655 Ooh, what happened to this place?
- 00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,526 There's a Morty president now.
- 00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,572 Aw, that's cute. They rebuilt. They made it nicer.
- 00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:39,790 They made it Glendale.
- 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,139 God damn, you are cantankerous.
- 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,445 Even pooping hurts now.
- 00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,665 Yeah, well, this place is gonna fix you right up.
- 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,580 Okay, so, we've got a standard Morty
- 00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,538 that's been aged to...40?
- 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:49,713 Can you reverse it?
- 00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,323 Well, if you look at it like a bone,
- 00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:52,934 what we can do is break his age in two places,
- 00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:55,153 remove the middle, and graft its ends back together.
- 00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,851 Th-that sounds really violent.
- 00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,592 It's not a literal bone, Morty.
- 00:06:58,635 --> 00:06:59,897 Oh, okay.
- 00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,072 Ah, brace yourself, the process does also
- 00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,509 break every bone in your body.
- 00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:05,033 Wait! Aah! Ooh! Ow!
- 00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:06,991 -I like crayons. -Girls are gross.
- 00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:12,519 I-I think I feel like myself again.
- 00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:13,607 Uh, you look a little weird.
- 00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,347 Your skin's all pink like a baby mouse.
- 00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:16,827 -I-Is that normal? -Probably.
- 00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,568 Uh, sign here for storage or disposal
- 00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:19,656 of the 26 years we removed.
- 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,049 Wait, what?
- 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,485 I ain't payin' to store 26 years.
- 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:23,486 Well, then you're taking it with you.
- 00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:27,272 I'm almost ready to sell out.
- 00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:28,491 Alright, what's disposal cost?
- 00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:32,103 -Oh! -S-something unfair's happening.
- 00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,714 There's no escape. No escape!
- 00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,716 Let me help you! This is not a good look.
- 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:36,891 Oh!
- 00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,719 Oh, boy. Hey! They -- they shot me!
- 00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,503 You are seriously hurting the Citadel experience.
- 00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:41,852 -Listen to me! -Drop the gun!
- 00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,288 Death is coming for us all,
- 00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,681 and the Citadel is a weapon of mass des--
- 00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,337 Woof. You're about to get suspended with pay.
- 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,600 Come on, Morty, let's get outta here before this gets political.
- 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:53,298 Oh! Was I... influential?
- 00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:54,996 Yeah, y-you were influential.
- 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:57,520 Y-You had like seven -- seven blogs.
- 00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:59,566 Tight. Oh.
- 00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:01,393 Ugh. Too late.
- 00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:02,699 Rick C-137,
- 00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,745 President Morty requests you join him for dinner.
- 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,355 Whoa! S-Seriously?
- 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:07,530 You know I destroyed this place.
- 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,314 You've been pardoned for that, sir.
- 00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:10,968 Rick! Let's have dinner with the Morty President.
- 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,796 Morty, the idea was to get back to simple adventures.
- 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,406 The Citadel runs on canon.
- 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,670 Okay. I guess things really are just going right back
- 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:17,714 to how they were.
- 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,455 Fine. I could eat.
- 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,544 But the second he reveals he's evil, we're gone.
- 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,202 I dunno. It tastes... pretty good.
- 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,030 Okay, let me know if you start feeling poisony.
- 00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:30,597 Good to have you back, buddy.
- 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,555 Mmm!
- 00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,731 Sorry I'm late. Never really ends around here.
- 00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,167 Look at this, Morty.
- 00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,647 They really did make a you the president.
- 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:38,779 And I hate 'em every day for it.
- 00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:41,042 But wow! Rick C-137.
- 00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:43,435 Now, that's a guy to move your schedule around for.
- 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,437 Not -- Not here to blow the place up again, I hope.
- 00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,483 Ha! Not unless you try to keep me here.
- 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,832 Ha-ha, geez. Wouldn't dream of it.
- 00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,399 But it's amazing you dropped by
- 00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,357 because I was eventually gonna hunt you down.
- 00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:54,142 There's the reveal. Let's dance.
- 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:55,796 -Ha! Geez. -Rick, come on, man.
- 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,928 The guy got elected president by Ricks <i>and</i> Mortys.
- 00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:00,017 -He's being really nice. -All politicians are nice.
- 00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:01,628 He's a hot bag of peanuts, isn't he?
- 00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,281 We've been through a lot.
- 00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:05,240 A-And he does not like --Serialized drama.
- 00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,372 Right, no drama. Keep it episodic.
- 00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,678 Ricks never look back.
- 00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:10,462 Waste of a legend in his case.
- 00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:12,421 You know he practically -built this place? -Wait, what?
- 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,641 And now you're running it squeaky clean, right?
- 00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:15,598 That's why you got deformed Mortys
- 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:16,817 coming up through the sewer lines
- 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,688 talking about hope and change?
- 00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:20,647 -Fair enough. -Good clapback, Rick.
- 00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:21,778 What's the deal with that, Mister P?
- 00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,432 I got a little project going on.
- 00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:24,738 Required some hands-on labor.
- 00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,609 It would require less if you were willing
- 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:27,784 to tell me how one might
- 00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,656 bring down the Central Finite Curve.
- 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,048 Alright, time to go, Morty.
- 00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:32,267 I want to know what he's talking about.
- 00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,529 Yeah, you've come all this way.
- 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,835 Can you give me 10 more seconds?
- 00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,706 Literally 10? Because now it would be 6.
- 00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:37,838 Oh, I'm fine with that.
- 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,491 Make it 2.
- 00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:41,232 One.
- 00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:42,843 Like I said, would have been a big help for you to tell me,
- 00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,975 but I should have everything I need from you now.
- 00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,629 Let me just make sure.
- 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,762 You can't scan an entire brain over appetizers.
- 00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:52,330 Oh, most of yours got scanned a <i>long</i> time ago.
- 00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:53,636 You probably don't remember.
- 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,899 Check out season 1, episode 9, Rick Heads.
- 00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,901 Excel[burps]sior!
- 00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,686 -Evil Rick. -We kicked his ass!
- 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,209 "Evil Rick." I love it.
- 00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,689 Smartest man in the universe,
- 00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:05,343 with an ego so big you can just grab it like a joystick.
- 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,997 Looks complete.
- 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,433 I was afraid I'd have to kill every Rick
- 00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:09,739 on the Citadel to get what I needed.
- 00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,785 You asshole! I vouched for you!
- 00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,787 He only came here because I asked him to.
- 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:14,918 I'm sorry, Rick.
- 00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:16,441 That apology and a screwdriver in my hand
- 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:17,660 would be worth a screwdriver.
- 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,314 You sellout Mortys kill me.
- 00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,881 I'd hate you more than the Ricks you worship
- 00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,099 if there was any point.
- 00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:23,492 But you can't help it.
- 00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,667 You were bred for it.
- 00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,147 Wanna see?
- 00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,847 You already know Rogue Ricks used Mortys
- 00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:33,241 to hide themselves from the Citadel.
- 00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:34,721 But you might not know it worked so well
- 00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,331 that the Citadel became its own
- 00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:37,811 Morty Market.
- 00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,682 And I'm sure you don't know how far they've gone
- 00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:41,684 to help supply meet demand.
- 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,338 Sure, Ricks could scour infinity
- 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:44,861 for naturally occurring grandsons.
- 00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,254 But why bother?
- 00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:47,777 So much work.
- 00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:49,910 Such an admission of need.
- 00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:52,521 There aren't infinite versions of our grandfather, Morty.
- 00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:55,132 He's an infinite smear of one shitty old man.
- 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,960 And he's attached to us infinitely
- 00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,746 through his weakness and our forgiveness.
- 00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:00,964 Oh! Oh!
- 00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:02,574 This is why we're with him.
- 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,185 This is why we're alive.
- 00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,799 What the fuck?
- 00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:10,931 Rick, say this isn't true.
- 00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:12,715 -It isn't the whole truth. Liar!
- 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,891 -It's complicated! -I'm not busy.
- 00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,719 Okay, Morty, remember when I said all I need
- 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,765 was your apology and a screwdriver in my hand?
- 00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:21,376 Well, I forgot I literally have a screwdriver in my hand.
- 00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,813 I mean, duh-doy. I'm basically Inspector Gadget.
- 00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:24,814 Uh-oh.
- 00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,600 It's okay. He's free to go.
- 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:31,908 He's the Rickest Rick. We'll never see him again.
- 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,433 Morty, when you came here for that serum,
- 00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:36,913 did you refill this gun?
- 00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:38,219 Yeah.
- 00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:41,004 Oh. Ooh! Holy shit!
- 00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,441 I only know one man that ever hacked my portal gun,
- 00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,313 and it turned out it was evil <i>you.</i>
- 00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,445 Yay! He's all caught up.
- 00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,405 Wait. Hold it. Hold it.
- 00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:55,018 -Who -- Who's that? -Time for Big Boy. Duck!
- 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:57,673 Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhh!
- 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:58,892 Does he like it?
- 00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,154 It's a metaphor for capitalism, Morty.
- 00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:01,982 What do you think?
- 00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:04,114 Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh!
- 00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:05,333 Ohh! Ohhhhhh!
- 00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:10,817 Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhh!
- 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,039 Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhh!
- 00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,911 Ohhhhhh!
- 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:20,478 Yoink!
- 00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:23,177 You can't outrun your past, Rick.
- 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,832 Did you think my force field would be down the second time?
- 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:28,269 I was expressing disapproval of your dialogue.
- 00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,184 Disapprove all you want.
- 00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:33,230 Tonight, the quality of dialogue stops mattering.
- 00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:36,016 Tonight, I do that thing I want to do
- 00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,669 with the curve thing.
- 00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:45,155 <i>Nobody leave. Everybody stay.</i>
- 00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,944 Aaaaaaah!
- 00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,817 <i>Nobody leave. Everybody stay.</i>
- 00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,514 In uncertain times like these,
- 00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,603 I think it's important for me to say, eat shit, fuck you.
- 00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,257 The drug companies paid for me to say every word.
- 00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:01,693 I have millions of dollars,
- 00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:03,260 and I don't care if you live -- oh, God!
- 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:05,436 Oh, fuck! No! Aah!
- 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,395 And I'd just like to say that prescription drugs are great,
- 00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:09,614 and you should buy them now.
- 00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:11,094 What's happening, Rick?
- 00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:12,443 He hacked the entire city's portal supply.
- 00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,402 Come on, there still might be one way out of here --
- 00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:15,533 out the bottom.
- 00:13:21,757 --> 00:13:23,411 What do you think he needed from your brain?
- 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:26,109 I assume schematics for the Citadel's dimensional drive.
- 00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,502 If he's gonna use it to blow the curve,
- 00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:28,938 we do <i>not</i> want to be here.
- 00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:29,852 What is the Central Finite Curve?
- 00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,680 Q&A after our survival.
- 00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:33,987 Hopefully we can snag some untainted fluid at the source
- 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,467 and get the fuck out of here.
- 00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,034 Or not.
- 00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:42,909 Wow. I thought <i>my</i> capitalism metaphor was on the nose.
- 00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,954 Ow! Oh!
- 00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:46,521 So did you help build the Citadel?
- 00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:47,870 Do you just lie to me about everything?
- 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,741 Can't we just sneak through the cave base?
- 00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,918 We turned a new leaf, Morty. We're back to simple adventures.
- 00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,963 It's not a new leaf until you tell me everything.
- 00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:55,573 Morty, we really don't have time for this.
- 00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:57,445 The whole place -is gonna blow. -No, I-I don't trust you.
- 00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,142 I-I don't want to do this anymore
- 00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,578 if I'm not gonna get straight answers from you.
- 00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:02,102 God damn it!
- 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,016 Here's my fucking downloaded brain, Morty.
- 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,669 You want to jump the shark?
- 00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,106 You want to know my stupid crybaby backstory?
- 00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:08,586 Knock yourself out. Not -- not now!
- 00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,076 -Boo ya, Rick. -Nice one, Morty!
- 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,601 Whoa. Dead wife?
- 00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,472 Yes, now everyone can shut up about it.
- 00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:38,910 Wow, Rick, I feel a lot better having seen all that.
- 00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,173 Of course that's the case.
- 00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:43,263 In their minds, they're the underdogs.
- 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,482 And that's how they justify this.
- 00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,051 Morty, I'm not responsible
- 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,226 for every fucked-up Rick out there.
- 00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:51,488 They literally all say that.
- 00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:52,750 They all have that excuse.
- 00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,143 It's part of their system.
- 00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:55,275 None of them have to be responsible.
- 00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:57,103 They're all victims of themselves.
- 00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:59,844 Oh, it's so hard to be a genius. Couldn't you just die?
- 00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:00,932 Well, what are <i>you doing about it?</i>
- 00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:02,499 Jack shit. I'm leaving.
- 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,501 Do you know what the Central Finite Curve is?
- 00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:06,199 They built a wall around infinity.
- 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,201 They separated all the infinite universes
- 00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,637 from all the infinite universes
- 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,639 where he's the smartest man in the universe.
- 00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:13,119 Every version of us has spent every version
- 00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,295 of all of our lives in one infinite crib
- 00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:18,080 built around an infinite fucking baby.
- 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,125 And I'm leaving it.
- 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:20,561 That's what makes me evil --
- 00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,128 being sick of him.
- 00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,782 If you've ever been sick of him, you've been evil, too.
- 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,438 Rick, did you really leave the crows for me?
- 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:32,007 Or did you come back because they dumped you?
- 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,228 There you go, kid. Now you're Evil Morty, too.
- 00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,925 Sooner or later we all are,
- 00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:38,796 on this side of the curve.
- 00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,807 -Ah! -Ah!
- 00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:54,595 Don't worry, Morty. We still got a way out
- 00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,510 they never thought of -- Operation Phoenix.
- 00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:58,120 Doesn't that still mean, like, death?
- 00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,730 Sure, but the joke's on them,
- 00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,384 'cause we just found a backdoor to getting off this rock.
- 00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:05,475 REROUTED. REROUTED.
- 00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:08,217 <i>Rerouted. Rerouted. Rerouted.</i>
- 00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:12,743 <i>Rerouted. Rerouted. Rerouted.</i>
- 00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:16,704 Oh, my fucking God!
- 00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:18,401 Come on, Morty. We gotta go.
- 00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:22,275 You can come if you want.
- 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,972 Don't blame me if you don't.
- 00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:25,974 Ugh! From where I sit, Morty,
- 00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:27,193 that's the best deal on the table.
- 00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:31,022 I-I don't have a real plan.
- 00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,984 Thanks, pal. I-I'm glad you ignored my advice.
- 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,855 It's just as well. I lied.
- 00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:39,379 That second seat's a toilet.
- 00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:41,163 Oh. Super dick move.
- 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,817 But weirdly kind of cool to admit it.
- 00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,601 Geez, you guys really are bred for forgiveness.
- 00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,429 Let's go.
- 00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,968 Say goodbye to the Citadel, fellas.
- 00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:00,737 Ooowee! Evil Morty.
- 00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:02,522 That was quite a scheme.
- 00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:05,002 Makes me wonder if there's an evil me out there.
- 00:21:05,046 --> 00:21:07,353 But I guess sometimes I look at my life,
- 00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:10,225 and I may not even need him, 'cause, well,
- 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,706 guess I've made a pretty big mess of things myself.
- 00:21:12,749 --> 00:21:14,185 Ooowee.
- 00:21:14,229 --> 00:21:16,318 Never got my job at the university back.
- 00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,755 Remember that? Rick made me do karate.
- 00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:20,409 It -- It was kinda funny.
- 00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:22,368 But I guess things went downhill from there.
- 00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:24,761 Started isolating myself from Amy.
- 00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:27,155 Used to tell her everything I was feeling,
- 00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:28,722 but then I guess I stopped,
- 00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:31,202 'cause I wanted her to love who she thought I was,
- 00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:33,553 not who I felt myself becoming.
- 00:21:33,596 --> 00:21:35,946 Ever think about how horrified the people we love would be
- 00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:37,992 if they found out who we truly are?
- 00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:41,996 So we just dig ourselves deeper into our lies every day,
- 00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:45,478 ultimately hurting the only people brave enough to love us.
- 00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:47,175 Wish I didn't do that.
- 00:21:47,218 --> 00:21:49,438 Wish I was brave enough to love them back.
- 00:21:49,482 --> 00:21:52,006 I don't know. Maybe you should try it.
- 00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:54,182 We don't have as much time as we think.
- 00:21:54,225 --> 00:21:55,531 Ooowee.
- 00:21:57,272 --> 00:21:58,404 Did you get any of that?
- 00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:09,400 [ Distant screaming ]
- 00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:12,969 Oh! Oh! Ah!
- 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,318 [ Crow cawing ]
- 00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:17,017 It's the crow man!
- 00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:20,020 [ Belches ]
- 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,501 Give it a second.
- 00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:25,503 Maybe he's taking it out to surrender.
- 00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:27,636 [ Whooshing ]
- 00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:29,420 [ Sword clangs ]
- 00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:34,164 ♪
- 00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:35,861 He's anti-heroic. Run!
- 00:00:35,905 --> 00:00:37,950 [ Feet pattering ] I don't understand.
- 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:39,300 He's only one man!
- 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,258 With the power of a thousand crows.
- 00:00:41,302 --> 00:00:42,433 [ Crows cawing ]
- 00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:43,913 Oh, oh! Ooh!
- 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,177 [ Strained ] Good luck.
- 00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,702 Crows and owls have always been at war,
- 00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:51,921 but why do you care?
- 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:52,922 What's the point?
- 00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:55,316 Here's two.
- 00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,273 [ Grunts ]
- 00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:58,580 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:01,104 Ha-ha! Yeah. Cool. Morty?
- 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,975 Uh, h-hey, man!
- 00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:04,020 Good to see you!
- 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,282 [ Crows cawing ]
- 00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:07,197 Y-You're, like, looking, like,
- 00:01:07,241 --> 00:01:08,764 into crows...still.
- 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,766 Oh, uh, two crows, you remember Morty.
- 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,376 Morty, two crows.[ Crows caw ]
- 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,812 It's good to see you,
- 00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:15,205 but if you'd given me more of a heads up --
- 00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:16,946 Well, I-I was just in the neighborhood.
- 00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:18,382 I-It wasn't like --It's just that the battle for crows
- 00:01:18,426 --> 00:01:20,341 is kind of never-ending.
- 00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:21,298 Huh. Right.
- 00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,126 A little pointless, then, right?
- 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,128 That came out wrong, s-sounded judgy.
- 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,261 -Crowhorse. Crowhorse. -Okay.
- 00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:29,393 -Crowhorse. Crowhorse. -Looks like...
- 00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:32,048 looks like they're leading you to a thing.
- 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,267 Take care, Morty.
- 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,398 You -- You too!
- 00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:36,183 I-I'm doing good, by the way.
- 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:38,402 Oh, my dad was gonna eat that yogurt you left in the fridge
- 00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:39,142 but I-I told him --
- 00:01:39,186 --> 00:02:06,300 ♪
- 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,433 [ Insects chirping ]
- 00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:13,307 ♪
- 00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,265 [ Rick belches ]
- 00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:18,225 ♪
- 00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,965 [ Indistinct talking ]
- 00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:22,054 [ Thunder crashes ]
- 00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:24,187 [ Clears throat ] I'm looking for...
- 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,320 Crow Scare.
- 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,974 The scarecrow? The evil scarecrow?
- 00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:32,195 Come on. Whoever gives him up first lives.
- 00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,284 Fine, I can kill an extra asshole.
- 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:35,416 Helps me get my steps in.
- 00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:37,853 [ Whooshing ]
- 00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:44,425 ♪
- 00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,470 Ah!
- 00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,124 [ Clanging ]
- 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,430 Ahhh!
- 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,434 Rick! Morty?
- 00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:54,652 Wood?!
- 00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:56,306 Aghhhh!
- 00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,135 Uh, Morty, why are you now like 40?
- 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,571 Th-That's how long it's been, Rick.
- 00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:03,226 Oh, uh, I guess we can have a drink together, then.
- 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,489 Do you have a rum and Coke?
- 00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:06,577 What are you, 20?
- 00:03:06,621 --> 00:03:08,449 [ Chuckling ] Oh, bless your heart.
- 00:03:08,492 --> 00:03:10,277 Time be goin' by, don't she?
- 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:12,017 That's your reaction to finding out
- 00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,497 you wasted your entire life?
- 00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:14,455 I feel okay.
- 00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:15,891 Well -- well, what about me?!
- 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,936 Whoa. Excuse us, boys.
- 00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,938 You don't wanna be here for this.[ Crows cawing ]
- 00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:21,244 I thought if I gave you enough space,
- 00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:23,290 you'd outgrow this... phase.
- 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,640 Here's your drink, poser.
- 00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:28,120 Dad got sick, you know. Stage 4.
- 00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:29,513 You would've loved it.
- 00:03:29,557 --> 00:03:31,428 Summer's a nurse -- well, pretty much a nurse.
- 00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,517 She -- She married a junkie.
- 00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,476 Rick, come home,
- 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:36,694 while we still got a little time.
- 00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,261 Morty, what we had wasn't healthy.
- 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,089 And this is?
- 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:41,482 Y-You've had a thousand adventures with these crows.
- 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:43,092 When are you gonna kill their big bad?
- 00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:44,702 First off, the "will they/kill they"
- 00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,530 is everything to my guys.
- 00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:48,358 And second, fuck you for trying to undermine my happiness.
- 00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,360 This may be the last time you ever lay eyes on me!
- 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:51,970 I hope that's not true, Morty,
- 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:53,711 because you look like s[burps]shit,
- 00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:56,061 and this is not how I wanna remember you.
- 00:03:56,105 --> 00:04:09,379 ♪
- 00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,381 Crow Scare: Now that I have his two crows,
- 00:04:11,425 --> 00:04:14,297 nothing will stop me from eliminating Crow Rick.
- 00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:15,994 [ Crows cawing ] Don't defend him to me.
- 00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,779 I don't even get what you see in him.
- 00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,302 [ Crows cawing ] You're right.
- 00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:22,436 We should be enjoying the time we have together.
- 00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:23,785 Crow Rick!
- 00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,308 Oh, I-I know what this must look like, but --
- 00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,528 It looks like my arch nemesis, Crow Scare,
- 00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:29,791 and my sidekicks planning adventures together.
- 00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,445 You are hardly the victim here.
- 00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,534 I was adventuring with these two crows
- 00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,579 before you ever came along.
- 00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:40,018 [ Crows cawing ]
- 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,890 What do you mean, "using me as a rebound?"
- 00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,544 [ Cawing ]
- 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,676 You feel like I was using you as a rebound, too?
- 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,896 Well, shit, this lost all meaning.
- 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,332 I guess it could have been worse.
- 00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:50,899 At least adventuring was just a metaphor
- 00:04:50,942 --> 00:04:53,118 for romantic partnership, so it's not a real break-up.
- 00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:54,598 Speak for yourself.
- 00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:56,992 We immensely enjoy each other's bodies.
- 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,602 What?! Ugh! No!
- 00:04:58,646 --> 00:04:59,995 Sounds like the man's asking for proof.
- 00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:01,692 Let's show him, fellas!
- 00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,390 -I-I asked for zero proof! -Ahh!
- 00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,565 Zero proof!
- 00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:06,349 [ Whoosh! ]
- 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:09,613 [ Metal clanging ]
- 00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,225 I'm giving you free will.
- 00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:15,619 Yah!
- 00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,447 Crow Horse: Submit to Crow Horse!
- 00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:19,406 [ People screaming ]
- 00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,408 Whoops.
- 00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:22,931 [ Doorbell rings ]
- 00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,586 -Rick? -Wubba lubba dub dub! I'm back, pal!
- 00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,283 Jerry: Morty, who's at the door?
- 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,980 Wait a minute. I thought you died gruesomely?
- 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,417 W-what the hell's going on here?
- 00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:31,809 See, uh, the -- the thing is, uh...
- 00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:33,942 Can you please make Morty 14 again, Dad?
- 00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,596 This is ridiculous.
- 00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:37,554 Okay, look, I-I may have used an aging serum
- 00:05:37,598 --> 00:05:39,730 to kind of emotionally blackmail you a little.
- 00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:41,384 I kind of figured, and I totally get it, Morty,
- 00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,255 I-I'm done with the two crows.
- 00:05:43,299 --> 00:05:45,432 Like, they were super clingy and I'm ready to make this work.
- 00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:46,563 Let's just hit the reset button.
- 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:48,565 Well, no, honey, not a reset, okay?
- 00:05:48,609 --> 00:05:51,307 Tell your grandpa that you're worthy of his respect
- 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,222 and you want to be treated differently from now on.
- 00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:54,397 I refuse to do that.
- 00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:55,790 I-I'm desperate to get back together.
- 00:05:55,833 --> 00:05:57,400 -Just like his old man. -Don't worry, honey.
- 00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:58,619 That's just Morty's middle age talking.
- 00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,098 He'll be less codependent once we get
- 00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:01,665 more of his life in front of him again.
- 00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:02,840 Uh, I'd like him to stay 40
- 00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:05,539 so he can keep buying my friends molly.
- 00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:06,627 I'd rather throw my vote away
- 00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,542 than use it to support a flawed system.
- 00:06:08,585 --> 00:06:10,500 Can we make our first adventure fixing this?
- 00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,284 I keep thinking about -lawn care. -Okay, buddy.
- 00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,677 Who sold you this shitty aging serum?
- 00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,331 -What did he look like? -Just like you.
- 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,202 I-I got it -from the Citadel. -Hot damn.
- 00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:19,291 Hittin' the ground running with a Citadel episode.
- 00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:20,902 See ya later, masturbators.
- 00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:26,429 [ Muzak playing ]
- 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,692 Hi! I'm Citadel's new mascot, Andy,
- 00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:29,998 because this place wouldn't be home
- 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:32,261 without Ricks "Andy" Mortys.
- 00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:33,523 Dumb.
- 00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:34,655 Ooh, what happened to this place?
- 00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,526 There's a Morty president now.
- 00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:38,572 Aw, that's cute. They rebuilt. They made it nicer.
- 00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:39,790 They made it Glendale.
- 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,139 God damn, you are cantankerous.
- 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,445 Even pooping hurts now.
- 00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,665 Yeah, well, this place is gonna fix you right up.
- 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,580 Okay, so, we've got a standard Morty
- 00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,538 that's been aged to...40?
- 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:49,713 Can you reverse it?
- 00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,323 Well, if you look at it like a bone,
- 00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:52,934 what we can do is break his age in two places,
- 00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:55,153 remove the middle, and graft its ends back together.
- 00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,851 Th-that sounds really violent.
- 00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,592 It's not a literal bone, Morty.
- 00:06:58,635 --> 00:06:59,897 Oh, okay.
- 00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,072 Ah, brace yourself, the process does also
- 00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,509 break every bone in your body.
- 00:07:02,552 --> 00:07:05,033 Wait! Aah! Ooh! Ow!
- 00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:06,991 -I like crayons. -Girls are gross.
- 00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:12,519 I-I think I feel like myself again.
- 00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:13,607 Uh, you look a little weird.
- 00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,347 Your skin's all pink like a baby mouse.
- 00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:16,827 -I-Is that normal? -Probably.
- 00:07:16,871 --> 00:07:18,568 Uh, sign here for storage or disposal
- 00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:19,656 of the 26 years we removed.
- 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,049 Wait, what?
- 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,485 I ain't payin' to store 26 years.
- 00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:23,486 Well, then you're taking it with you.
- 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,270 [ Rumbling ]
- 00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:27,272 I'm almost ready to sell out.
- 00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:28,491 Alright, what's disposal cost?
- 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:30,275 [ Rumbling and punching ]
- 00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:32,103 -Oh! -S-something unfair's happening.
- 00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,714 There's no escape. No escape!
- 00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,716 Let me help you! This is not a good look.
- 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:36,891 Oh! [ Gunshot ]
- 00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,719 Oh, boy. Hey! They -- they shot me!
- 00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,503 You are seriously hurting the Citadel experience.
- 00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:41,852 -Listen to me! -Drop the gun!
- 00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,288 Death is coming for us all,
- 00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,681 and the Citadel is a weapon of mass des--
- 00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,378 [ Gunshot ]
- 00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,337 Woof. You're about to get suspended with pay.
- 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,600 Come on, Morty, let's get outta here before this gets political.
- 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:53,298 Oh! Was I... influential?
- 00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:54,996 Yeah, y-you were influential.
- 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:57,520 Y-You had like seven -- seven blogs.
- 00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:59,566 Tight. Oh.
- 00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:01,393 Ugh. Too late.
- 00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:02,699 Rick C-137,
- 00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,745 President Morty requests you join him for dinner.
- 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,355 Whoa! S-Seriously?
- 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:07,530 You know I destroyed this place.
- 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:09,314 You've been pardoned for that, sir.
- 00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:10,968 Rick! Let's have dinner with the Morty President.
- 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,796 Morty, the idea was to get back to simple adventures.
- 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,406 The Citadel runs on canon.
- 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,670 Okay. I guess things really are just going right back
- 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:17,714 to how they were.
- 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,455 Fine. I could eat.
- 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,544 But the second he reveals he's evil, we're gone.
- 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:25,113 [ Ominous music playing ]
- 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,202 I dunno. It tastes... pretty good.
- 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,030 Okay, let me know if you start feeling poisony.
- 00:08:29,073 --> 00:08:30,597 Good to have you back, buddy.
- 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,555 Mmm!
- 00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,731 Sorry I'm late. Never really ends around here.
- 00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,167 Look at this, Morty.
- 00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,647 They really did make a you the president.
- 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:38,779 And I hate 'em every day for it.
- 00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:41,042 But wow! Rick C-137.
- 00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:43,435 Now, that's a guy to move your schedule around for.
- 00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,437 Not -- Not here to blow the place up again, I hope.
- 00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:47,483 [ Chuckles ] Ha! Not unless you try to keep me here.
- 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,832 Ha-ha, geez. Wouldn't dream of it.
- 00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,399 But it's amazing you dropped by
- 00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,357 because I was eventually gonna hunt you down.
- 00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:54,142 There's the reveal. Let's dance.
- 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:55,796 -Ha! Geez. -Rick, come on, man.
- 00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,928 The guy got elected president by Ricks <i>and</i> Mortys.
- 00:08:57,972 --> 00:09:00,017 -He's being really nice. -All politicians are nice.
- 00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:01,628 He's a hot bag of peanuts, isn't he?
- 00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,281 We've been through a lot.
- 00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:05,240 A-And he does not like --Serialized drama.
- 00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,372 Right, no drama. Keep it episodic.
- 00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,678 Ricks never look back.
- 00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:10,462 Waste of a legend in his case.
- 00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:12,421 You know he practically -built this place? -Wait, what?
- 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,641 And now you're running it squeaky clean, right?
- 00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:15,598 That's why you got deformed Mortys
- 00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:16,817 coming up through the sewer lines
- 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,688 talking about hope and change?
- 00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:20,647 -Fair enough. -Good clapback, Rick.
- 00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:21,778 What's the deal with that, Mister P?
- 00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,432 I got a little project going on.
- 00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:24,738 Required some hands-on labor.
- 00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,609 It would require less if you were willing
- 00:09:26,653 --> 00:09:27,784 to tell me how one might
- 00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,656 bring down the Central Finite Curve.
- 00:09:29,699 --> 00:09:31,048 Alright, time to go, Morty.
- 00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:32,267 I want to know what he's talking about.
- 00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,529 Yeah, you've come all this way.
- 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,835 Can you give me 10 more seconds?
- 00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,706 Literally 10? Because now it would be 6.
- 00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:37,838 Oh, I'm fine with that.
- 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,491 Make it 2.
- 00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:41,232 One.[ Ding! ]
- 00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:42,843 Like I said, would have been a big help for you to tell me,
- 00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,975 but I should have everything I need from you now.
- 00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,629 Let me just make sure.
- 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,762 You can't scan an entire brain over appetizers.
- 00:09:48,805 --> 00:09:52,330 Oh, most of yours got scanned a <i>long</i> time ago.
- 00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:53,636 You probably don't remember.
- 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,899 Check out season 1, episode 9, Rick Heads.
- 00:09:55,943 --> 00:09:57,901 Excel[burps]sior!
- 00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,686 -Evil Rick. -We kicked his ass!
- 00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,209 "Evil Rick." I love it.
- 00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,689 Smartest man in the universe,
- 00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:05,343 with an ego so big you can just grab it like a joystick.
- 00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,997 [ Whirring ] Looks complete.
- 00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,433 I was afraid I'd have to kill every Rick
- 00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:09,739 on the Citadel to get what I needed.
- 00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,785 You asshole! I vouched for you!
- 00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,787 He only came here because I asked him to.
- 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:14,918 I'm sorry, Rick.
- 00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:16,441 That apology and a screwdriver in my hand
- 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:17,660 would be worth a screwdriver.
- 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,314 You sellout Mortys kill me.
- 00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,881 I'd hate you more than the Ricks you worship
- 00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,099 if there was any point.
- 00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:23,492 But you can't help it.
- 00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,667 You were bred for it.
- 00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:26,147 Wanna see?
- 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:29,106 [ Whirring ]
- 00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:30,847 You already know Rogue Ricks used Mortys
- 00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:33,241 to hide themselves from the Citadel.
- 00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:34,721 But you might not know it worked so well
- 00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,331 that the Citadel became its own
- 00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:37,811 Morty Market.
- 00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,682 And I'm sure you don't know how far they've gone
- 00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:41,684 to help supply meet demand.
- 00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,338 Sure, Ricks could scour infinity
- 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:44,861 for naturally occurring grandsons.
- 00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,254 But why bother?
- 00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:47,777 So much work.
- 00:10:47,821 --> 00:10:49,910 Such an admission of need.
- 00:10:49,953 --> 00:10:52,521 There aren't infinite versions of our grandfather, Morty.
- 00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:55,132 He's an infinite smear of one shitty old man.
- 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,960 And he's attached to us infinitely
- 00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,746 through his weakness and our forgiveness.
- 00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:00,964 Oh! Oh!
- 00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:02,574 This is why we're with him.
- 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,185 This is why we're alive.
- 00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,799 What the fuck?
- 00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:10,931 Rick, say this isn't true.
- 00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:12,715 -It isn't the whole truth. -Both: Liar!
- 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,891 -It's complicated! -I'm not busy.
- 00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,719 Okay, Morty, remember when I said all I need
- 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,765 was your apology and a screwdriver in my hand?
- 00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:21,376 Well, I forgot I literally have a screwdriver in my hand.
- 00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,813 I mean, duh-doy. I'm basically Inspector Gadget.
- 00:11:23,857 --> 00:11:24,814 Uh-oh.
- 00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,600 It's okay. He's free to go.
- 00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:31,908 He's the Rickest Rick. We'll never see him again.
- 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,433 Morty, when you came here for that serum,
- 00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:36,913 did you refill this gun?
- 00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:38,219 Yeah.
- 00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:41,004 Oh. Ooh! Holy shit!
- 00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,441 I only know one man that ever hacked my portal gun,
- 00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,313 and it turned out it was evil <i>you.</i>
- 00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,445 Yay! He's all caught up.
- 00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,405 Wait. Hold it. Hold it.
- 00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:55,018 -Who -- Who's that? -Time for Big Boy. Duck!
- 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:57,673 Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhh!
- 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:58,892 Does he like it?
- 00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,154 It's a metaphor for capitalism, Morty.
- 00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:01,982 What do you think?
- 00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:04,114 Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh!
- 00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:05,333 Ohh! Ohhhhhh!
- 00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:07,814 [ Grunting ]
- 00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:10,817 Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhh!
- 00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,079 [ Grunts ]
- 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,039 Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhh!
- 00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,911 Ohhhhhh!
- 00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:20,478 Rick: Yoink!
- 00:12:20,522 --> 00:12:23,177 You can't outrun your past, Rick.
- 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:25,832 Did you think my force field would be down the second time?
- 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:28,269 I was expressing disapproval of your dialogue.
- 00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:30,184 [ Chuckles ] Disapprove all you want.
- 00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:33,230 Tonight, the quality of dialogue stops mattering.
- 00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:36,016 Tonight, I do that thing I want to do
- 00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,669 with the curve thing.
- 00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,893 Loudspeaker: <i>Nobody leave. Everybody stay.</i>
- 00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,155 <i>Nobody leave. Everybody stay.</i>
- 00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:48,942 [ Mortys screaming ]
- 00:12:48,985 --> 00:12:50,944 Aaaaaaah!
- 00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,597 [ Gunfire ]
- 00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,817 <i>Nobody leave. Everybody stay.</i>
- 00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,514 In uncertain times like these,
- 00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,603 I think it's important for me to say, eat shit, fuck you.
- 00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,257 The drug companies paid for me to say every word.
- 00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:01,693 I have millions of dollars,
- 00:13:01,737 --> 00:13:03,260 and I don't care if you live -- oh, God!
- 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:05,436 Oh, fuck! No! Aah!
- 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,395 And I'd just like to say that prescription drugs are great,
- 00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:09,614 and you should buy them now.
- 00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:11,094 Morty: What's happening, Rick?
- 00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:12,443 He hacked the entire city's portal supply.
- 00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,402 Come on, there still might be one way out of here --
- 00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:15,533 out the bottom.
- 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:21,713 ♪
- 00:13:21,757 --> 00:13:23,411 What do you think he needed from your brain?
- 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:26,109 I assume schematics for the Citadel's dimensional drive.
- 00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,502 If he's gonna use it to blow the curve,
- 00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:28,938 we do <i>not</i> want to be here.
- 00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:29,852 What is the Central Finite Curve?
- 00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,680 Q&A after our survival.
- 00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:33,987 Hopefully we can snag some untainted fluid at the source
- 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:36,467 and get the fuck out of here.
- 00:13:36,511 --> 00:13:38,034 Or not.
- 00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:42,909 Wow. I thought <i>my</i> capitalism metaphor was on the nose.
- 00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,954 Ow! Oh!
- 00:13:44,998 --> 00:13:46,521 So did you help build the Citadel?
- 00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:47,870 Do you just lie to me about everything?
- 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,741 Can't we just sneak through the cave base?
- 00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,918 We turned a new leaf, Morty. We're back to simple adventures.
- 00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,963 It's not a new leaf until you tell me everything.
- 00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:55,573 Morty, we really don't have time for this.
- 00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:57,445 The whole place -is gonna blow. -No, I-I don't trust you.
- 00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,142 I-I don't want to do this anymore
- 00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,578 if I'm not gonna get straight answers from you.
- 00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:02,102 God damn it!
- 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,016 Here's my fucking downloaded brain, Morty.
- 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,669 You want to jump the shark?
- 00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,106 You want to know my stupid crybaby backstory?
- 00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:08,586 Knock yourself out. Not -- not now!
- 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:15,550 ♪
- 00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:17,552 [ Explosion ]
- 00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:41,184 ♪
- 00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:42,751 [ Explosion ]
- 00:14:42,794 --> 00:15:58,174 ♪
- 00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,394 [ Whirring ]
- 00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:20,066 ♪
- 00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:22,198 [ Laughing ]
- 00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:25,419 ♪
- 00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:28,291 [ Laughter ]
- 00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,076 -Boo ya, Rick. -Nice one, Morty!
- 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,601 Whoa. Dead wife?
- 00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,472 Yes, now everyone can shut up about it.
- 00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:38,910 Wow, Rick, I feel a lot better having seen all that.
- 00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,173 [ Chuckles ] Of course that's the case.
- 00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:43,263 In their minds, they're the underdogs.
- 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,482 And that's how they justify this.
- 00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:47,745 [ Whirring ]
- 00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,051 Rick: Morty, I'm not responsible
- 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,226 for every fucked-up Rick out there.
- 00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:51,488 They literally all say that.
- 00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:52,750 They all have that excuse.
- 00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,143 It's part of their system.
- 00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:55,275 None of them have to be responsible.
- 00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:57,103 They're all victims of themselves.
- 00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:59,844 Oh, it's so hard to be a genius. Couldn't you just die?
- 00:16:59,888 --> 00:17:00,932 Well, what are <i>you doing about it?</i>
- 00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:02,499 Jack shit. I'm leaving.
- 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,501 Do you know what the Central Finite Curve is?
- 00:17:04,545 --> 00:17:06,199 They built a wall around infinity.
- 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,201 They separated all the infinite universes
- 00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:09,637 from all the infinite universes
- 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,639 where he's the smartest man in the universe.
- 00:17:11,682 --> 00:17:13,119 Every version of us has spent every version
- 00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,295 of all of our lives in one infinite crib
- 00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:18,080 built around an infinite fucking baby.
- 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,125 And I'm leaving it.
- 00:17:19,168 --> 00:17:20,561 That's what makes me evil --
- 00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,128 being sick of him.
- 00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,782 If you've ever been sick of him, you've been evil, too.
- 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,438 Rick, did you really leave the crows for me?
- 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:32,007 Or did you come back because they dumped you?
- 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:35,228 There you go, kid. Now you're Evil Morty, too.
- 00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:36,925 Sooner or later we all are,
- 00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:38,796 on this side of the curve.
- 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,364 [ Whirring ]
- 00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:47,936 ♪
- 00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,807 -Ah! -Ah!
- 00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:53,115 ♪
- 00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:54,595 Don't worry, Morty. We still got a way out
- 00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,510 they never thought of -- Operation Phoenix.
- 00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:58,120 Doesn't that still mean, like, death?
- 00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,730 Sure, but the joke's on them,
- 00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,384 'cause we just found a backdoor to getting off this rock.
- 00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:03,734 [ Gunshot ]
- 00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:05,475 REROUTED. REROUTED.
- 00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:08,217 A.I.: <i>Rerouted. Rerouted. Rerouted.</i>
- 00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:09,697 [ All screaming ]
- 00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:12,743 <i>Rerouted. Rerouted. Rerouted.</i>
- 00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:15,398 [ Explosion ]
- 00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:16,704 Oh, my fucking God!
- 00:18:16,747 --> 00:18:18,401 Come on, Morty. We gotta go.
- 00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:22,275 Evil Morty: You can come if you want.
- 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:23,972 Don't blame me if you don't.
- 00:18:24,015 --> 00:18:25,974 Ugh! From where I sit, Morty,
- 00:18:26,017 --> 00:18:27,193 that's the best deal on the table.
- 00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:31,022 I-I don't have a real plan.
- 00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:33,634 [ Grunts ]
- 00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,984 Thanks, pal. I-I'm glad you ignored my advice.
- 00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,855 It's just as well. I lied.
- 00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:39,379 That second seat's a toilet.
- 00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:41,163 Oh. Super dick move.
- 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,817 But weirdly kind of cool to admit it.
- 00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,601 Geez, you guys really are bred for forgiveness.
- 00:18:44,645 --> 00:18:46,429 Let's go.
- 00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:48,431 ♪
- 00:18:48,475 --> 00:18:50,520 [ All exclaiming ]
- 00:18:50,564 --> 00:19:01,227 ♪
- 00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,968 Say goodbye to the Citadel, fellas.
- 00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:06,188 [ Rumbling ]
- 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:25,338 ♪
- 00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,209 [ Rocket fires ]
- 00:19:27,253 --> 00:19:42,616 ♪
- 00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:45,880 [ Both screaming ]
- 00:19:45,923 --> 00:20:14,125 ♪
- 00:20:14,169 --> 00:20:16,650 [ Sighs ]
- 00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:22,090 ♪
- 00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,486 [ Slurping and zapping ]
- 00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:58,431 ♪
- 00:20:58,474 --> 00:21:00,737 Ooowee! Evil Morty.
- 00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:02,522 That was quite a scheme.
- 00:21:02,565 --> 00:21:05,002 Makes me wonder if there's an evil me out there.
- 00:21:05,046 --> 00:21:07,353 But I guess sometimes I look at my life,
- 00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:10,225 and I may not even need him, 'cause, well,
- 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,706 guess I've made a pretty big mess of things myself.
- 00:21:12,749 --> 00:21:14,185 Ooowee.
- 00:21:14,229 --> 00:21:16,318 Never got my job at the university back.
- 00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,755 Remember that? Rick made me do karate.
- 00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:20,409 It -- It was kinda funny.
- 00:21:20,453 --> 00:21:22,368 But I guess things went downhill from there.
- 00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:24,761 Started isolating myself from Amy.
- 00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:27,155 Used to tell her everything I was feeling,
- 00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:28,722 but then I guess I stopped,
- 00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:31,202 'cause I wanted her to love who she thought I was,
- 00:21:31,246 --> 00:21:33,553 not who I felt myself becoming.
- 00:21:33,596 --> 00:21:35,946 Ever think about how horrified the people we love would be
- 00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:37,992 if they found out who we truly are?
- 00:21:38,035 --> 00:21:41,996 So we just dig ourselves deeper into our lies every day,
- 00:21:42,039 --> 00:21:45,478 ultimately hurting the only people brave enough to love us.
- 00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:47,175 Wish I didn't do that.
- 00:21:47,218 --> 00:21:49,438 Wish I was brave enough to love them back.
- 00:21:49,482 --> 00:21:52,006 I don't know. Maybe you should try it.
- 00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:54,182 We don't have as much time as we think.
- 00:21:54,225 --> 00:21:55,531 Ooowee.
- 00:21:57,272 --> 00:21:58,404 Man: Did you get any of that?