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Рик и Морти выходят на улицу, пока не начинается кислотный дождь. Появляется Планетина, супергерой в стиле Капитана Планеты, и останавливает дождь. Увидев это, Морти сразу же заинтересовался ею. Позже Рик решает взять Саммер в путешествие по трём планетам, которые вот-вот будут разрушены, и из-за этого устраивают большие сексуальные вечеринки. Пока Морти укрепляет свои отношения с Планетиной, Рик находит девушку Дафни на первой планете и берёт её с собой. Вернувшись домой, Бет узнаёт о Планетине и запрещает Морти быть с ней. Двое убегают, занимаясь экологически чистыми видами деятельности, пока Планетина не натыкается на угольную шахту и не решает разрушить её, убивая всех внутри. Морти обезумевает и пугается этим, решая прекратить свои отношения с Планетиной, в результате чего Морти сильно убивается горем, но Бет утешает его и говорит, что понимает его боль. Рик и Саммер вместе с Дафни отправляются на третью планету. Саммер, устав от того, что Рик её игнорирует, взрывает астероид, который вот-вот уничтожит планету. Дафни понимает, что ей больше не угрожает опасность, и бросает Рика, доказывая, что Саммер ранее заявляла, что она не любит его. В сцене после титров двое жителей третьей планеты, отец и сын, возвращаются к работе после того, как конец света был отменён. Двое ведут неловкий разговор о том, как они занимались сексом вместе прошлой ночью, не ожидая, что на следующий день останутся в живых.
- 00:00:06,436 --> 00:00:08,535 Ahh, I love that new T-shirt smell.
- 00:00:08,570 --> 00:00:10,339 Chicks are gonna be up all up in our biz
- 00:00:10,374 --> 00:00:12,044 when they see us wearing these Rick and Morty custom tees.
- 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,540 I bet we could sell these.
- 00:00:13,575 --> 00:00:14,838 Hells yeah. I fuckin' love merch!
- 00:00:14,873 --> 00:00:16,004 [ Thunder crashes ] Aah!
- 00:00:16,039 --> 00:00:17,346 The rain! It -- It burns! Oh, shit.
- 00:00:17,381 --> 00:00:18,380 Quick, Morty, protect the shirts!
- 00:00:18,415 --> 00:00:20,008 The door! Open the door!
- 00:00:20,043 --> 00:00:21,350 Rick! Is it --
- 00:00:21,385 --> 00:00:22,648 Morty, will ya stop tryna--
- 00:00:22,683 --> 00:00:24,089 [ Lock clicks ] Okay, there, it's open.
- 00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:26,014 Jesus. My skin is on fire.
- 00:00:26,049 --> 00:00:27,389 W-Why is the rain doing that?
- 00:00:27,424 --> 00:00:30,425 [ Laughing evilly ] My acid rain will destroy
- 00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:34,693 all things green and natural or my name isn't Diesel Weasel.
- 00:00:34,728 --> 00:00:35,826 [ Laughs evilly ]
- 00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,102 [ People screaming ]
- 00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:40,237 Huh. Well, that guy's easy to please.
- 00:00:40,272 --> 00:00:42,998 Your acid rain is an acid pain...
- 00:00:43,033 --> 00:00:44,868 in the butt, Diesel Weasel!
- 00:00:44,903 --> 00:00:46,276 Yikes. Wow.
- 00:00:46,311 --> 00:00:47,871 Who's the chick in need of a dialogue pass?
- 00:00:47,906 --> 00:00:50,676 First order of business is to clean up this acid rain
- 00:00:50,711 --> 00:00:52,546 with a little wind!
- 00:00:52,581 --> 00:00:53,580 Yoww!
- 00:00:53,615 --> 00:00:55,351 Ow! Ow, my leg!
- 00:00:55,386 --> 00:00:56,583 Wow.
- 00:00:56,618 --> 00:00:59,091 And now an elemental punch that's too hot to handle!
- 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,587 Wa-kah!
- 00:01:00,622 --> 00:01:01,852 Oh, wow.
- 00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:03,051 Curse you, Planetina!
- 00:01:03,086 --> 00:01:05,130 I'll get you next slime!
- 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:06,725 [ Laughs evilly ]
- 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,728 There's only one solution for Earth's pollution -- you!
- 00:01:09,763 --> 00:01:10,696 [ Ting! ]
- 00:01:10,731 --> 00:01:12,401 Wow. Morty, if you say "wow"
- 00:01:12,436 --> 00:01:13,732 one more time, I swear to fucking God...
- 00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:15,470 Are you crazy, Rick? She's right there!
- 00:01:15,505 --> 00:01:17,142 Yeah, get that aluminum, Morty. It's 8% of the Earth.
- 00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:18,638 We'll need every atom.
- 00:01:19,443 --> 00:01:21,740 Thanks! Every litter-bit helps!
- 00:01:21,775 --> 00:01:23,247 [ Gasps ] Your problem!
- 00:01:23,282 --> 00:01:24,611 Excuse me? S-Sorry.
- 00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:27,119 I-I-I wanted to say, "N-No problem, you're welcome,"
- 00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:29,154 a-a-and it came out "your problem."
- 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:30,419 [ Chuckles ] I-I'm an idiot. Sorry.
- 00:01:30,454 --> 00:01:33,048 You're not an idiot. You recycled.
- 00:01:33,083 --> 00:01:35,127 I-I'm Morty. Nice to meet you, Morty.
- 00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,294 I'm Planetina, and I hope you have a wonderful day.
- 00:01:37,329 --> 00:01:38,394 [ Horn honks ] Rick: Hey!
- 00:01:38,429 --> 00:01:39,560 The fuck we doin' here?
- 00:01:39,595 --> 00:01:41,628 Uhh, y-y-you like soft serve?
- 00:01:41,663 --> 00:01:42,959 There's a shop around the bend.
- 00:01:42,994 --> 00:01:44,730 Oh, I don't eat ice cream.
- 00:01:44,765 --> 00:01:47,095 Veal is a product of the dairy industry.
- 00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:48,305 Oh, that's not good.
- 00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:49,504 No, it is not. [ Horn honks ]
- 00:01:49,539 --> 00:01:52,067 Oh, my God! Come on! Let's go!
- 00:01:52,102 --> 00:01:54,102 I know a place that serves cruelty-free doughnuts.
- 00:01:54,137 --> 00:01:56,280 If you'd like, I could fly you and your friend there
- 00:01:56,315 --> 00:01:57,479 easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.
- 00:01:57,514 --> 00:01:59,613 Okay, I-I-I'll ask him.
- 00:01:59,648 --> 00:02:02,484 He -- He said he can't come. Let's go!
- 00:02:04,015 --> 00:02:06,620 What the fuck was that shit?
- 00:02:06,655 --> 00:02:15,761 ♪♪
- 00:02:15,796 --> 00:02:24,869 ♪♪
- 00:02:24,904 --> 00:02:34,010 ♪♪
- 00:02:34,045 --> 00:02:35,913 [ Electricity crackling ]
- 00:02:37,884 --> 00:02:39,653 Planetina: The Earth is in danger!
- 00:02:39,688 --> 00:02:42,051 Pollution and waste are ruining our planet.
- 00:02:42,086 --> 00:02:44,625 Mother Nature has enlisted the help of four young adults
- 00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:46,858 from each major ethnicity -- and when things look bad,
- 00:02:46,893 --> 00:02:49,663 and I mean really bad -- they combine the powers
- 00:02:49,698 --> 00:02:52,303 of their elemental rings to create me!
- 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,372 Planetina, conservationist super person!
- 00:02:55,407 --> 00:02:57,066 There's only one solution...
- 00:02:57,101 --> 00:02:58,870 <i>for Earth's pollution -- you!</i>
- 00:02:58,905 --> 00:03:00,069 P-Pretty cool, huh?
- 00:03:00,104 --> 00:03:02,346 I-I can't believe I actually hung out with Planetina.
- 00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:04,810 How old is this woman? She looks very mature.
- 00:03:04,845 --> 00:03:06,713 She's a sentient amalgam of natural elements,
- 00:03:06,748 --> 00:03:08,649 so I don't believe age applies to her.
- 00:03:08,684 --> 00:03:10,321 Great. Taylor Murphy dumps me the day before his
- 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:12,686 hella-big pool party and my little brother's
- 00:03:12,721 --> 00:03:14,391 dating a phase four super hero.
- 00:03:14,426 --> 00:03:16,228 Just shoot me in the fucking head until I die.
- 00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:17,856 Hey, hey, none of that, Summerfest.
- 00:03:17,891 --> 00:03:19,594 Look what you're doing to your sister, you piece of shit.
- 00:03:19,629 --> 00:03:20,991 Is it weird that she hasn't texted me yet?
- 00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:22,366 Yes. No.
- 00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:23,895 What if I told you that your Grandpa Rick's
- 00:03:23,930 --> 00:03:25,534 got something up his sleeve that's so Rick-diculous
- 00:03:25,569 --> 00:03:26,766 that it's gonna make you forget all about
- 00:03:26,801 --> 00:03:28,438 that stupid asshole that dumped you?
- 00:03:28,473 --> 00:03:30,242 [ Plates clatter ] Hey, my egg plate!
- 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,574 Morglutz, Slartivart, and Ferkus 9 --
- 00:03:32,609 --> 00:03:35,071 three planets are all ending in a delayed succession
- 00:03:35,106 --> 00:03:36,545 of cataclysmic events.
- 00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:38,206 A jam like this comes around only once in a lifetime.
- 00:03:38,241 --> 00:03:39,746 Morglutz's sun is going supernova,
- 00:03:39,781 --> 00:03:41,583 Slartivart is falling into a black hole,
- 00:03:41,618 --> 00:03:43,519 and Ferkus 9 is getting "Deep Impact"-ed
- 00:03:43,554 --> 00:03:44,883 by an asteroid.
- 00:03:44,918 --> 00:03:46,555 They're all having a major, final blow out --
- 00:03:46,590 --> 00:03:48,458 and I'm gonna drug it up and suck it up before each one
- 00:03:48,493 --> 00:03:50,592 goes ka-blamo, and I'm taking
- 00:03:50,627 --> 00:03:51,890 my favorite grandkid along with me!
- 00:03:51,925 --> 00:03:53,958 Hells yeah. 10 seconds on Morglutz,
- 00:03:53,993 --> 00:03:55,564 and you'll be up to your neck in I-could-give-two-
- 00:03:55,599 --> 00:03:57,126 shits-about- what's-his-ass.
- 00:03:57,161 --> 00:03:58,226 And also herpes.
- 00:03:58,261 --> 00:03:59,271 Um... Oh, my God,
- 00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:00,404 thank you, Grandpa Rick!
- 00:04:00,439 --> 00:04:01,801 I'm gonna go pack my rollie.
- 00:04:01,836 --> 00:04:03,902 Um, Summer? I-I-I haven't given you my approval yet.
- 00:04:03,937 --> 00:04:05,233 [ Door closes ] Summer, approval
- 00:04:05,268 --> 00:04:06,575 is yet to be given here!
- 00:04:06,610 --> 00:04:08,137 [ Phone chimes ] There's a huge forest fire
- 00:04:08,172 --> 00:04:09,578 like 200 miles from here!
- 00:04:09,613 --> 00:04:11,547 This is amazing! Planetina's bound to be there.
- 00:04:11,582 --> 00:04:13,384 Mom, I-I need the credit card to buy a train ticket.
- 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,649 Absolutely not.
- 00:04:14,684 --> 00:04:16,486 Mom, this is the biggest wildfire of the year!
- 00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:17,817 You're not going! You're not going!
- 00:04:17,852 --> 00:04:18,917 Da fuck I'm not.
- 00:04:18,952 --> 00:04:20,424 Last time I checked, this wasn't Russia.
- 00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:22,151 It's not Russia, Jerry. My heart is broken,
- 00:04:22,186 --> 00:04:23,790 and I deserve to let loose,
- 00:04:23,825 --> 00:04:26,221 and if you don't like it, you can suck my bigger tit.
- 00:04:26,256 --> 00:04:27,629 Adios, C-words.
- 00:04:27,664 --> 00:04:28,993 Morty, I don't want you getting hurt.
- 00:04:29,028 --> 00:04:30,830 Please, think this over. I don't want to think!
- 00:04:30,865 --> 00:04:32,601 I want to see a girl I like.
- 00:04:32,636 --> 00:04:33,932 If you don't want to help me,
- 00:04:33,967 --> 00:04:35,934 I'll find my own goddamn way to the wildfire.
- 00:04:35,969 --> 00:04:37,573 [ Door slams ]
- 00:04:37,608 --> 00:04:40,004 [ Door slamming ]
- 00:04:40,776 --> 00:04:42,809 I'll get the wine. Thank you.
- 00:04:42,844 --> 00:04:45,581 The Governor has implemented a mandatory evacuation.
- 00:04:45,616 --> 00:04:48,144 Abandon all hope, people! Nothing will stop this fire.
- 00:04:48,179 --> 00:04:49,684 Nothing! [ Air whooshing ]
- 00:04:49,719 --> 00:04:52,588 Scratch that! Here's Planetina, Savioress of Earth!
- 00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:54,623 Yeeouch! Talk about a hot foot.
- 00:04:54,658 --> 00:04:58,154 Better put this wildfire on ice!
- 00:04:58,662 --> 00:04:59,859 Morty: Come here, little buddy.
- 00:04:59,894 --> 00:05:01,993 Come on, come on, come on, I gotcha.
- 00:05:02,831 --> 00:05:04,765 Morty?! What are you doing here?
- 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,470 Oh, hey! Y-You're here, too?
- 00:05:06,505 --> 00:05:08,340 Yeah, I heard about the wildfire back home,
- 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,803 and, you know, I stopped by to lend a hand.
- 00:05:09,838 --> 00:05:12,036 H-Here you go, fella. All safe now.
- 00:05:12,071 --> 00:05:14,478 [ Chuckles ] Ahh, rabbits -- al-always hopping --
- 00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:15,644 Never stoppin'.
- 00:05:15,679 --> 00:05:17,481 [ Chuckles nervously ] Y-Yeah.
- 00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:18,944 S-So it was, uh, great hanging --
- 00:05:18,979 --> 00:05:20,550 hanging out the other day.
- 00:05:20,585 --> 00:05:22,486 I-I was getting kind of a -- I mean I-I got kind of
- 00:05:22,521 --> 00:05:23,652 a p-positive vibe.
- 00:05:23,687 --> 00:05:25,390 Oh, good. I was putting one out.
- 00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:26,523 I-I really like you.
- 00:05:26,558 --> 00:05:27,821 Holy shit.
- 00:05:27,856 --> 00:05:29,988 I-I-I mean, uh, well, oh, all right.
- 00:05:30,023 --> 00:05:31,858 Next step, you w-want to go out again?
- 00:05:31,893 --> 00:05:35,697 I do! But, uh, Morty, I have kids.
- 00:05:35,732 --> 00:05:37,996 Oh, I-I-I'll get along with them. I'm-I'm a kid.
- 00:05:38,031 --> 00:05:40,163 No, I mean the four kids that bring me into existence
- 00:05:40,198 --> 00:05:42,066 by combining the power of their elemental rings
- 00:05:42,101 --> 00:05:44,002 so I can save Earth from ecological disasters.
- 00:05:44,037 --> 00:05:46,202 Oh, them! No, I-I know about them.
- 00:05:46,237 --> 00:05:47,412 I-I like them.
- 00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,513 Oh, good. Well, here they are now.
- 00:05:49,548 --> 00:05:51,174 Hey, buddy, you want an autograph?
- 00:05:51,209 --> 00:05:52,516 That's 20 bucks a pop.
- 00:05:52,551 --> 00:05:54,177 No, Eddie, he's my friend.
- 00:05:54,212 --> 00:05:56,817 Morty, these are my kids, The Tina-Teers.
- 00:05:56,852 --> 00:05:57,851 Oh, hey.
- 00:05:57,886 --> 00:05:59,314 Tina, girl, have you gained weight?
- 00:05:59,349 --> 00:06:01,151 Uh, well, I had a plant-based doughnut yesterday.
- 00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:02,350 Just a half.
- 00:06:02,385 --> 00:06:04,528 Sugar is worst thing for figure, darling.
- 00:06:04,563 --> 00:06:06,024 You want to be ugly?
- 00:06:06,059 --> 00:06:07,861 Heh, I-I thought they'd be younger.
- 00:06:07,896 --> 00:06:09,830 They've been manifesting me since the mid-'90s.
- 00:06:09,865 --> 00:06:12,195 A lot has changed since then.
- 00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:13,603 This is freaking you out, huh?
- 00:06:13,638 --> 00:06:15,572 It is a lot to take in.
- 00:06:15,607 --> 00:06:16,903 I understand.
- 00:06:16,938 --> 00:06:19,235 Well, I guess I'd better go.
- 00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:20,676 See you around.
- 00:06:20,711 --> 00:06:22,337 Hi-de-ho, TV 58!
- 00:06:22,372 --> 00:06:23,679 Planetina, you single-handily saved
- 00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:24,911 a National Forest with ease.
- 00:06:24,946 --> 00:06:26,715 I do what I can, but I can't do it alone!
- 00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:28,453 And who's your friend over there?
- 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:29,949 Oh! This is Morty Smith.
- 00:06:29,984 --> 00:06:32,754 He traveled 200 miles just to save a rabbit from the fire.
- 00:06:32,789 --> 00:06:34,217 He's a very special guy.
- 00:06:34,252 --> 00:06:35,350 So, are you two dating?
- 00:06:35,385 --> 00:06:37,462 Oh, um, w-- I-I-I --
- 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:40,058 Yes, we are.
- 00:06:40,093 --> 00:06:41,565 [ '80s pop music plays ]
- 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,028 Fuck love. Fuck love.
- 00:06:43,063 --> 00:06:44,392 All right, time to set the rules.
- 00:06:44,427 --> 00:06:45,393 Lay it on me. No whining.
- 00:06:45,428 --> 00:06:46,394 Done. No crying.
- 00:06:46,429 --> 00:06:47,769 As if.
- 00:06:47,804 --> 00:06:49,397 And absolutely, positively no getting attached.
- 00:06:49,432 --> 00:06:52,103 We're here to smash max ass -- quantity over quality.
- 00:06:52,138 --> 00:06:53,544 Deal? Deal!
- 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,579 I'm gonna eat so much ass, you're gonna shit.
- 00:06:55,614 --> 00:06:57,240 Check this out. This is gonna be me at the party --
- 00:06:57,275 --> 00:06:58,450 b-b-laaaah!
- 00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,946 B-b-blaaaah! Oh, is that another ass?
- 00:06:59,981 --> 00:07:01,915 Don't mind if I-- b-b-blaaaah!
- 00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:04,753 Ho-ho! This'll be me across the room -- "Excuse me, miss.
- 00:07:04,788 --> 00:07:06,458 It appears that you have an uneaten ass.
- 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,416 Allow me -- lalalalalaaah!
- 00:07:08,451 --> 00:07:09,494 Lalalalalaaah! B-b-blaaaah!
- 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,529 B-b-blaaaah!
- 00:07:13,665 --> 00:07:15,929 Whoo! Fucking super nova party!
- 00:07:15,964 --> 00:07:17,766 Love is a lie! Hack the planet!
- 00:07:17,801 --> 00:07:19,097 The world's ending, and for some reason,
- 00:07:19,132 --> 00:07:21,231 I want to die with you more than anyone else.
- 00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,298 [ Giggles ] Wow!
- 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,508 Yo, Rick, don't look now,
- 00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,939 but someone's giving you the big eye.
- 00:07:25,974 --> 00:07:27,578 [ Vomiting ]
- 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:28,942 'Scuse me. I got to see a man about
- 00:07:28,977 --> 00:07:31,516 a horse I'd rather have sex with.
- 00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:32,649 Aah!
- 00:07:32,684 --> 00:07:33,980 Hello. I'm Rick.
- 00:07:34,015 --> 00:07:36,488 Hey. So, the world's ending, and for some reason,
- 00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:38,446 I want to die with you more than anyone else.
- 00:07:38,481 --> 00:07:39,590 Hello.
- 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:40,624 Summer: Have fun, Grandpa Rick!
- 00:07:40,659 --> 00:07:42,956 No commitments!
- 00:07:42,991 --> 00:07:47,631 ♪ I flew to you on an airplane ♪
- 00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:49,963 [ Keys tapping ]
- 00:07:49,998 --> 00:07:56,134 ♪ I was afraid that you gave me strength ♪
- 00:07:56,169 --> 00:08:02,514 ♪ Forever, birds were soul twin loves ♪
- 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,472 ♪ Baby, come back to me ♪
- 00:08:04,507 --> 00:08:07,684 ♪ Baby, come back like it was ♪
- 00:08:08,082 --> 00:08:09,147 Surprise!
- 00:08:09,182 --> 00:08:10,181 What are you doing here?
- 00:08:10,216 --> 00:08:11,479 Mmm!
- 00:08:11,514 --> 00:08:13,723 I told my kids I went out to recycle batteries.
- 00:08:13,758 --> 00:08:16,121 All kidding aside, everyone should discard
- 00:08:16,156 --> 00:08:19,795 used batteries at proper disposal centers
- 00:08:19,830 --> 00:08:22,127 instead of tossing them into a regular waste bin.
- 00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:23,029 Thanks for the tip.
- 00:08:23,064 --> 00:08:26,703 ♪ Flowers never last forever ♪
- 00:08:26,738 --> 00:08:29,200 ♪ But we can make it past forever ♪
- 00:08:29,235 --> 00:08:30,234 [ Dolphins squeaks ]
- 00:08:30,269 --> 00:08:31,675 ♪ Baby, come home to me ♪
- 00:08:31,710 --> 00:08:34,942 ♪ Baby, you're home with me ♪
- 00:08:36,044 --> 00:08:38,044 [ Cheering ]
- 00:08:38,948 --> 00:08:41,245 Solus is collapsing in five zip-zops.
- 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,587 If we time it right,
- 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,347 we can skeet together as the sun explodes.
- 00:08:44,382 --> 00:08:45,722 Sounds ah-mazing.
- 00:08:45,757 --> 00:08:47,823 Say, I think I left my purse back at the bar.
- 00:08:47,858 --> 00:08:49,594 Can both of you go get it for me?
- 00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:51,728 Anything for you, Mrs. Obama.
- 00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:53,191 Time to ghost, Grandpa Rick.
- 00:08:53,226 --> 00:08:55,358 Rick:<i> Righty-right.</i> <i>Meet me at the car.</i>
- 00:08:55,393 --> 00:08:57,932 One of these has to be hers. Where'd she go?
- 00:08:57,967 --> 00:08:59,527 I guess we'll have to start without her.
- 00:08:59,562 --> 00:09:00,671 Oh, her loss.
- 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,871 B-b-blaaaaaaaaah!
- 00:09:03,742 --> 00:09:06,072 Whoo! Planet number two, let's do it!
- 00:09:06,107 --> 00:09:08,206 Sorry, I took so long. I had to ditch some clingers.
- 00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:10,538 [ Slurring ] Let's do it. Up the butt, y'all.
- 00:09:10,573 --> 00:09:11,913 Geez, you okay to drive?
- 00:09:11,948 --> 00:09:12,749 Shiii!
- 00:09:12,784 --> 00:09:14,883 'Course, I-I-I'm mable.
- 00:09:14,918 --> 00:09:17,149 Bu[burps]ckle up.
- 00:09:19,087 --> 00:09:20,889 [ Crashing ]
- 00:09:20,924 --> 00:09:22,253 Yeah!
- 00:09:22,926 --> 00:09:25,520 Whoo! The best week of my life!
- 00:09:25,555 --> 00:09:26,554 Daphne:<i> Hello.</i>
- 00:09:26,589 --> 00:09:27,863 What was that? Nothin'.
- 00:09:27,898 --> 00:09:30,129 Who wants to see the most radadelic
- 00:09:30,164 --> 00:09:31,735 lady-version of a super hero?
- 00:09:31,770 --> 00:09:32,736 [ Cheering ]
- 00:09:32,771 --> 00:09:34,463 Fire! Water!
- 00:09:34,498 --> 00:09:37,070 Air! And Dirt!
- 00:09:38,843 --> 00:09:40,238 [ Crowd gasps ]
- 00:09:40,273 --> 00:09:42,471 Oh, no, the convention. Morty, wake up!
- 00:09:42,506 --> 00:09:43,747 We overslept. What's happening?
- 00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:44,979 Hey, there's a little boy on her!
- 00:09:45,014 --> 00:09:46,783 Oh, d-d-drop the curtain!
- 00:09:46,818 --> 00:09:47,784 There is no curtain!
- 00:09:47,819 --> 00:09:48,917 Idiots, zap her away!
- 00:09:48,952 --> 00:09:50,281 No, no, no. Wait, I-I --
- 00:09:50,316 --> 00:09:51,579 Whoa! Security!
- 00:09:51,614 --> 00:09:52,987 What did you do? B-Bring her back!
- 00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:54,758 No! Let me go! Sorry, folks.
- 00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:56,419 Planetina will be back in a moment.
- 00:09:56,454 --> 00:10:00,588 Until then, who wants a limited edition Funko for only $50?
- 00:10:00,623 --> 00:10:01,732 [ Cheers and applause ]
- 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,492 This is very bad.
- 00:10:03,527 --> 00:10:04,669 We are about to close deal.
- 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,396 We cannot afford controversy.
- 00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:07,639 Don't you worry.
- 00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,872 I know how ta deal with this Morty kid.
- 00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:14,173 [ Cheering ]
- 00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:17,242 Hey, a bunch of us are going over to Hibler's place
- 00:10:17,277 --> 00:10:18,606 to shoot ourselves.
- 00:10:18,641 --> 00:10:20,245 Y-You want to come with?
- 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,445 Sorry, but no man's tying down Sum-Sum tonight.
- 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,446 Hit the dicks.
- 00:10:23,481 --> 00:10:24,656 Your loss, honey.
- 00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:27,351 You could have had allllllll this.
- 00:10:27,386 --> 00:10:28,792 [ Sobs ]
- 00:10:28,827 --> 00:10:31,960 Hey, check it out! There's old people dancing!
- 00:10:31,995 --> 00:10:34,094 [ Dance music plays ]
- 00:10:34,129 --> 00:10:40,628 ♪♪
- 00:10:40,663 --> 00:10:42,465 Damn, girl. Your moves is tight.
- 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,708 Hello. Summer: Rick!
- 00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:46,304 What the WTF is that Morglutzian doing here?
- 00:10:46,339 --> 00:10:48,141 Morglutzian? She's -- She's not Morglutzian.
- 00:10:48,176 --> 00:10:50,506 She's the only blue person here without three eyes!
- 00:10:50,541 --> 00:10:53,377 Okay, fine. B-Busted. Thi-Thi-This is, uh, Daphne.
- 00:10:53,412 --> 00:10:55,115 Daphne, this is Summer, my granddaughter.
- 00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:57,051 Granddaughter? Hello.
- 00:10:57,086 --> 00:10:58,646 Daphne heard about our little party crawl,
- 00:10:58,681 --> 00:10:59,823 and I told her she could come with.
- 00:10:59,858 --> 00:11:00,989 I-I-In the trunk.
- 00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:02,518 What in the actual fuck, Rick?
- 00:11:02,553 --> 00:11:03,893 We said no commitments!
- 00:11:03,928 --> 00:11:06,797 This was to be our Apocalypse Party-crawl!
- 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,326 You broke the rules!
- 00:11:08,361 --> 00:11:10,229 Squares follow rules, Summer. Daphne's down to freak.
- 00:11:10,264 --> 00:11:12,704 She's up for any [burps] sick, nasty thing I want to do.
- 00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,497 Hello. Oh, yeah, baby.
- 00:11:14,532 --> 00:11:16,708 [ Both moaning ]
- 00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:19,843 All right, fellas, take five.
- 00:11:19,878 --> 00:11:21,845 He ain't gonna give me any trouble.
- 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,176 [ Lock clicks ] Morty: Where's Planetina?
- 00:11:23,211 --> 00:11:25,013 Don't you worry about her. I want to see her!
- 00:11:25,048 --> 00:11:27,510 Planetina's got a lot of responsibilities.
- 00:11:27,545 --> 00:11:29,017 People depend on her.
- 00:11:29,052 --> 00:11:30,480 And you, my friend,
- 00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,416 are a distraction we can't afford right now.
- 00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:34,088 She's just a product to you, isn't she?
- 00:11:34,123 --> 00:11:35,925 Something to make money off of.
- 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,355 W-Well, Planetina's more than that.
- 00:11:37,390 --> 00:11:39,258 She's a brilliant, living thing, and I love her.
- 00:11:39,293 --> 00:11:42,360 Oh, you love her? Well, guess what.
- 00:11:42,395 --> 00:11:43,768 We own her.
- 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,165 But not for long, of course.
- 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,695 We're gonna sell her to some Arab overseas.
- 00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:49,103 Fire.
- 00:11:49,138 --> 00:11:50,907 As for you, maybe she won't
- 00:11:50,942 --> 00:11:53,503 love you so much if you ain't so pretty no more.
- 00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:54,537 Stop! Yah!
- 00:11:54,572 --> 00:11:55,747 Ow!
- 00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,243 Y-You want to fuck with me? Do you?
- 00:11:57,278 --> 00:11:59,278 Stupid fuckin' shit hole!
- 00:11:59,313 --> 00:12:00,279 Aaaaaah!
- 00:12:00,314 --> 00:12:01,412 [ Grunts ]
- 00:12:01,447 --> 00:12:03,711 Guard: Boss, what's happening? Let us in!
- 00:12:03,746 --> 00:12:04,756 Aah!
- 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,417 [ Spits ] Fire!
- 00:12:06,452 --> 00:12:07,792 [ Screaming ]
- 00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:10,157 Fire!
- 00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,721 Can we conclude our business?
- 00:12:13,756 --> 00:12:15,261 I'm eager to celebrate my purchase of
- 00:12:15,296 --> 00:12:17,769 Planetina over dinner, and these infant seals
- 00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:19,067 aren't getting any younger.
- 00:12:19,102 --> 00:12:20,695 Momentarily, comrade.
- 00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:22,906 Soon, our partner will return.
- 00:12:22,941 --> 00:12:25,139 Ugh! What is taking Eddie so long?
- 00:12:25,174 --> 00:12:26,635 His phone keep going to voicemail.
- 00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:28,637 Eddie: <i>♪ Start leaving a message ♪</i>
- 00:12:28,672 --> 00:12:30,738 <i>♪ I can't make it</i> <i>to the phone ♪</i>
- 00:12:30,773 --> 00:12:32,740 <i>Just kidding. It's Eddie.</i> <i>Go fuck yourself.</i>
- 00:12:32,775 --> 00:12:33,950 <i>[ Voicemail beeps ]</i>
- 00:12:33,985 --> 00:12:35,281 Which one of you ordered a pizza?
- 00:12:35,316 --> 00:12:37,283 No one order pizza. What is this?
- 00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:41,452 Well, I got a cheesy Italian, extra crispy just for you.
- 00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:44,323 I know those cheek bones like they're me own!
- 00:12:44,358 --> 00:12:45,258 It's Eddie!
- 00:12:45,293 --> 00:12:46,754 Fucking Mother! Kill him!
- 00:12:46,789 --> 00:12:48,965 Stone! Stone! Fire!
- 00:12:51,266 --> 00:12:52,595 Aah!
- 00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:55,631 Airs!
- 00:12:55,666 --> 00:12:56,764 [ Air whooshing ]
- 00:12:56,799 --> 00:12:58,843 Cold Water! Cold Water!
- 00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:00,504 Dirt!
- 00:13:00,539 --> 00:13:02,143 Fire!
- 00:13:03,476 --> 00:13:04,607 Wa--
- 00:13:04,642 --> 00:13:05,740 [ Screaming ]
- 00:13:05,775 --> 00:13:06,950 Airs.
- 00:13:06,985 --> 00:13:09,150 Now we can be together, Planetina.
- 00:13:09,185 --> 00:13:10,987 I am an individual character.
- 00:13:11,022 --> 00:13:12,516 I represent no group.
- 00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:13,616 Fire! Aaah!
- 00:13:13,651 --> 00:13:15,453 Water! Dirt! Airs!
- 00:13:15,488 --> 00:13:17,620 [ Screaming ]
- 00:13:17,655 --> 00:13:18,654 Aah!
- 00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:21,261 Not good!
- 00:13:21,296 --> 00:13:23,494 [ Baby seals growling, barking ]
- 00:13:23,826 --> 00:13:24,968 Blib...
- 00:13:25,003 --> 00:13:26,299 Naga...
- 00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:27,465 Threve...
- 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,467 Verillex...Gam!
- 00:13:29,502 --> 00:13:31,436 Happy Apocalypse!
- 00:13:31,471 --> 00:13:33,009 -Oh, my gaaah! -This is awful!
- 00:13:33,044 --> 00:13:34,637 Why were we cheering?!
- 00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:36,507 [ Rumbling ]
- 00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:41,611 Hello. Got any agua around here?
- 00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:42,953 Mama's got to hydrate.
- 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,383 Glove box.
- 00:13:44,418 --> 00:13:46,517 Oh, yeah.
- 00:13:47,355 --> 00:13:49,685 Rick is the coolest guy ever.
- 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,159 We're total soul mates.
- 00:13:51,194 --> 00:13:53,557 He's gonna show me the wonders of the universe.
- 00:13:53,592 --> 00:13:55,328 Ha! Once we get to the next planet,
- 00:13:55,363 --> 00:13:57,869 Grandpa Rick is gonna ditch you, like, so fast.
- 00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,563 Oh, is that so?
- 00:13:59,598 --> 00:14:01,829 Uh-huh, nobody is tying that guy down -- ever.
- 00:14:01,864 --> 00:14:04,799 The only chick seeing the universe with Rick is me.
- 00:14:04,834 --> 00:14:07,769 Not if I keep Rick's mouth full of these.
- 00:14:08,409 --> 00:14:10,310 Oh, my -- Oh, my God.
- 00:14:10,345 --> 00:14:12,708 Oh, yeah. That's right, girlfriend.
- 00:14:12,743 --> 00:14:14,314 This is what you're up against.
- 00:14:14,349 --> 00:14:16,316 Wars were fought over these.
- 00:14:16,351 --> 00:14:19,924 They've ruined kings, inspired presidents.
- 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:22,927 A hundred songs and nine national anthems
- 00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,522 have been written about them.
- 00:14:24,557 --> 00:14:27,657 Best set of elbow-titties on Morglutz.
- 00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:32,200 And now, thanks to Rick, the best in the galaxy.
- 00:14:32,235 --> 00:14:33,696 You want me to put them away?
- 00:14:33,731 --> 00:14:35,038 Please. Sure.
- 00:14:35,073 --> 00:14:37,436 But only because you're Rick's granddaughter.
- 00:14:37,471 --> 00:14:39,438 Daph? Daphne? Where are ya, baby?
- 00:14:39,473 --> 00:14:41,209 Papa needs some more elbow grease.
- 00:14:41,244 --> 00:14:43,871 Comin'! Ya might want to keep your eyes on the road.
- 00:14:43,906 --> 00:14:46,511 It's about to get sloppy.
- 00:14:46,546 --> 00:14:48,183 Hello! Hello.
- 00:14:48,218 --> 00:14:50,383 Ugh! [ Loud moaning, bed creaking ]
- 00:14:50,418 --> 00:14:52,616 Then I put my sunglasses on and walked out
- 00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:53,749 like nothing happened.
- 00:14:53,784 --> 00:14:55,289 I'm finally free.
- 00:14:55,324 --> 00:14:56,719 All because of Morty.
- 00:14:56,754 --> 00:14:59,062 What a romantic story about our son killing
- 00:14:59,097 --> 00:15:00,558 a room full of people.
- 00:15:00,593 --> 00:15:02,065 Your turn.
- 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,396 Uh, seven.
- 00:15:03,431 --> 00:15:05,761 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven!
- 00:15:05,796 --> 00:15:08,038 Oyyy, don't punch my lunch!
- 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,237 A-ha! Eat it!
- 00:15:09,272 --> 00:15:10,568 I'm out of food cards.
- 00:15:10,603 --> 00:15:12,636 How 'bout I loan you two quiche at 10%?
- 00:15:12,671 --> 00:15:14,638 That's so generous.
- 00:15:14,673 --> 00:15:16,244 My turn!
- 00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:17,707 Double sixes, baby!
- 00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,907 One, two, three... So, what's next for Planetina?
- 00:15:19,942 --> 00:15:22,382 Well, now that I'm not distracted by book signings
- 00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:25,088 and publicity stunts, Morty and I can concentrate on
- 00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:26,320 more important things.
- 00:15:26,355 --> 00:15:27,123 Like school.
- 00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:28,487 Like moving in.
- 00:15:28,522 --> 00:15:30,291 Planetina doesn't have a place to stay now,
- 00:15:30,326 --> 00:15:31,556 so I said she could live with us.
- 00:15:31,591 --> 00:15:33,591 Holy shit. Morty, no. I'm so full!
- 00:15:33,626 --> 00:15:34,999 What do you mean, no? Whoo!
- 00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:36,264 Don't punch my lunch. [ Laughs ]
- 00:15:36,299 --> 00:15:37,430 I wouldn't be a burden, Mrs. Smith.
- 00:15:37,465 --> 00:15:39,168 I only want to spend as much time
- 00:15:39,203 --> 00:15:40,598 as possible with your son.
- 00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:42,501 My son is 14, miss.
- 00:15:42,536 --> 00:15:44,503 I'm sorry, Morty. You're way too young.
- 00:15:44,538 --> 00:15:46,769 But y-y-y-you were a teenager when Dad got you pregnant.
- 00:15:46,804 --> 00:15:48,144 I was 17!
- 00:15:48,179 --> 00:15:49,937 That's at least 26 in boy years.
- 00:15:49,972 --> 00:15:52,984 I'm sure Planetina is very nice, but when you're a teenager,
- 00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,480 love is fleeting, at best.
- 00:15:54,515 --> 00:15:57,780 You underestimate Morty. He is a very mature young man.
- 00:15:57,815 --> 00:15:59,122 See, Mom? I told you!
- 00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:01,487 This is not happening. End of discussion.
- 00:16:01,522 --> 00:16:03,786 Planetina, I think you should leave, please.
- 00:16:03,821 --> 00:16:05,194 Okay, Mrs. Smith.
- 00:16:05,229 --> 00:16:06,690 Oh, no! [ Belches ]
- 00:16:06,725 --> 00:16:07,999 Mom, I hate you!
- 00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,264 You suck! Hey, now, it's only a game.
- 00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:10,298 Shut up! Shut up!
- 00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,431 Okay. My whole life,
- 00:16:11,466 --> 00:16:12,762 I've never fit in anywhere.
- 00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,302 Everything I have to say is always met with
- 00:16:14,337 --> 00:16:15,666 an eye roll as if the act of hearing
- 00:16:15,701 --> 00:16:17,635 what I have to say is some exhausting chore.
- 00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:19,802 Nobody in this family thinks I can say or do anything right!
- 00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:22,112 I've been all over the universe, met hundreds of people,
- 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,939 and Planetina's the only one I've ever met that makes me feel
- 00:16:24,974 --> 00:16:27,612 like I belong, and you just kicked her out of our house!
- 00:16:27,647 --> 00:16:28,646 Morty, please --
- 00:16:28,681 --> 00:16:30,648 I will never forgive you for this!
- 00:16:30,683 --> 00:16:35,389 ♪ Get the sword and throw it far ♪
- 00:16:35,424 --> 00:16:37,556 ♪ Let it shine under the morning star ♪
- 00:16:37,591 --> 00:16:40,328 Morty! Morty, come back! [ Air whooshing ]
- 00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:44,860 ♪ Who are you? ♪
- 00:16:44,895 --> 00:16:48,864 ♪ Who am I to you? ♪
- 00:16:48,899 --> 00:16:51,075 ♪ I am the antichrist to you ♪
- 00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:53,638 [ Lightning crackling ]
- 00:16:53,673 --> 00:16:55,541 ♪♪
- 00:16:55,576 --> 00:17:01,085 ♪ Fallen from the sky with grace ♪
- 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:06,717 ♪ Into your arms race ♪
- 00:17:06,752 --> 00:17:15,495 ♪♪
- 00:17:15,530 --> 00:17:17,761 Get out! All of you, get out of there!
- 00:17:17,796 --> 00:17:19,433 You're killing the planet!
- 00:17:19,468 --> 00:17:21,105 Your people didn't get the votes.
- 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,667 Leave, or I'll have you arrested.
- 00:17:22,702 --> 00:17:24,537 It's you people who should be arrested.
- 00:17:24,572 --> 00:17:27,573 Gutting the land, poisoning the air your children breathe?!
- 00:17:27,608 --> 00:17:29,212 Can't you see what you're doing?!
- 00:17:29,247 --> 00:17:31,412 Easy for you to say! You can live how you want!
- 00:17:31,447 --> 00:17:33,711 We need the jobs. Let's go, boys.
- 00:17:33,746 --> 00:17:35,119 She can't stop us.
- 00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:36,780 W-We'll get them next time.
- 00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:38,122 There's no time left!
- 00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,190 Can't you hear the Earth screaming?
- 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,686 You filthy murderers!
- 00:17:41,721 --> 00:17:42,786 Planetina, stop it!
- 00:17:42,821 --> 00:17:46,889 There's only one solution for Earth's pollution!
- 00:17:46,924 --> 00:17:48,396 [ Screaming ]
- 00:17:48,431 --> 00:17:50,233 Oh, my God, no.
- 00:17:50,268 --> 00:17:53,929 ♪ Who am I to you? ♪
- 00:17:53,964 --> 00:17:56,899 ♪ I am the antichrist to you ♪
- 00:17:56,934 --> 00:17:58,802 No!
- 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,115 I can't believe I'm banging my co-workers.
- 00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,413 And I'm the boss!
- 00:18:05,448 --> 00:18:07,910 This gay sex with my Dad is terrific!
- 00:18:07,945 --> 00:18:09,417 What was I thinking?
- 00:18:09,452 --> 00:18:11,155 It'll all be over soon!
- 00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,256 Last chance to pee on me! Anyone?!
- 00:18:13,291 --> 00:18:15,126 Okay, Grandpa, the meteor's almost here.
- 00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:17,425 We can go now. Ah, nah, we still got time.
- 00:18:17,460 --> 00:18:19,790 Well, then stop being in love and start having fun.
- 00:18:19,825 --> 00:18:22,430 Ah, love's pretty fun, Summer. Just give it a chance.
- 00:18:22,465 --> 00:18:23,926 It's not even real love!
- 00:18:23,961 --> 00:18:26,434 Daphne's just with you so she can keep surviving!
- 00:18:26,469 --> 00:18:28,832 Ah, the young -- so naive.
- 00:18:28,867 --> 00:18:31,098 [ Footsteps squishing ]
- 00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:32,770 [ Squishing ]
- 00:18:32,805 --> 00:18:34,937 [ Groans ]
- 00:18:34,972 --> 00:18:36,675 Eww, gross.
- 00:18:37,711 --> 00:18:39,183 [ Engine starts ]
- 00:18:39,218 --> 00:18:41,218 [ Windshield squeaking ]
- 00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:46,718 [ Explosion ]
- 00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:51,624 Congratulations, Ferkisians!
- 00:18:51,659 --> 00:18:53,428 Your apocalypse is aborted.
- 00:18:53,463 --> 00:18:55,089 And, Grandpa, you and I can go home.
- 00:18:55,124 --> 00:18:56,299 Daphne, you may come with.
- 00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:58,367 If you want to and don't have to.
- 00:18:58,402 --> 00:18:59,665 I don't know what you're getting at, Summer.
- 00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,305 Obviously, Daphne wants to --
- 00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:05,638 Aw, you cold bitch. Hello?
- 00:19:05,673 --> 00:19:07,343 Goodbye.
- 00:19:07,675 --> 00:19:10,137 Hey, she's the one that saved the world!
- 00:19:10,172 --> 00:19:11,974 Now we got to go to work tomorrow!
- 00:19:12,009 --> 00:19:13,844 [ All booing ]
- 00:19:13,879 --> 00:19:15,219 You fucker!
- 00:19:16,684 --> 00:19:18,618 Sorry I messed things up with Daphne.
- 00:19:18,653 --> 00:19:20,488 Just shut up. I get it.
- 00:19:20,523 --> 00:19:23,051 Really? You're not mad? I'm furious.
- 00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:26,659 But I have to admit, it was pretty Rick of you
- 00:19:26,694 --> 00:19:28,859 to avert an apocalypse in a tantrum of cynicism
- 00:19:28,894 --> 00:19:31,367 just to destroy one dumb relationship.
- 00:19:31,402 --> 00:19:33,633 Still, sorry.
- 00:19:33,668 --> 00:19:36,031 Eh, I would've done the same for you.
- 00:19:36,066 --> 00:19:38,132 Promise?
- 00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:39,133 Love you, Grandpa Rick.
- 00:19:39,168 --> 00:19:40,871 Don't make it weird.
- 00:19:43,711 --> 00:19:45,447 [ Phone chimes ]
- 00:19:47,946 --> 00:19:49,583 [ Keys tapping ]
- 00:19:52,049 --> 00:19:53,851 [ Phone chimes ]
- 00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:57,360 Please go. I-I-I can't see you anymore.
- 00:19:57,395 --> 00:19:59,494 Don't you even want to try to make it work?
- 00:19:59,529 --> 00:20:00,495 We were so close.
- 00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:02,563 You murdered 300 people.
- 00:20:02,598 --> 00:20:03,828 And you murdered my kids.
- 00:20:03,863 --> 00:20:06,193 They were gonna sell you away forever.
- 00:20:06,228 --> 00:20:07,568 Eddie was trying to kill me!
- 00:20:07,603 --> 00:20:09,570 Th-Those miners were innocent.
- 00:20:09,605 --> 00:20:12,837 Those innocent miners voted men into power to protect
- 00:20:12,872 --> 00:20:14,542 their precious jobs so they can buy more
- 00:20:14,577 --> 00:20:16,742 plastic garbage and eat the corpses of tortured animals.
- 00:20:16,777 --> 00:20:18,612 The system is broken, Morty.
- 00:20:18,647 --> 00:20:22,209 This is the only way I can save Earth,
- 00:20:22,244 --> 00:20:23,782 the only way I can save you.
- 00:20:23,817 --> 00:20:26,851 If that's the only way, I-I don't want to be saved.
- 00:20:26,886 --> 00:20:28,215 Please, go.
- 00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:31,526 But...I love you.
- 00:20:31,561 --> 00:20:33,957 I-I-I can't -- I-I can't love you.
- 00:20:33,992 --> 00:20:35,464 I-I just can't.
- 00:20:35,499 --> 00:20:36,531 Please understand.
- 00:20:36,566 --> 00:20:38,027 No. [ Sniffles ]
- 00:20:38,062 --> 00:20:42,273 I'll go, but don't you dare ask me to understand.
- 00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:46,068 Planetina, I-I'm so sorry.
- 00:20:46,103 --> 00:20:48,070 Fuck you.
- 00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,489 Morty? Are you all right?
- 00:21:00,524 --> 00:21:02,821 She's gone, Mom! She's gone!
- 00:21:02,856 --> 00:21:04,922 [ Sobs ] I loved her so much!
- 00:21:04,957 --> 00:21:06,495 I know you did, honey.
- 00:21:06,530 --> 00:21:08,992 [ Crying ] Shh, Mommy's here.
- 00:21:09,027 --> 00:21:16,934 ♪ Let it shine under the morning star ♪
- 00:21:16,969 --> 00:21:18,265 ♪ Who are you? ♪
- 00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:21,543 ♪ Who am I to you? ♪
- 00:21:22,711 --> 00:21:26,977 ♪ I am the antichrist to you ♪
- 00:21:29,487 --> 00:21:34,523 ♪ Fallen from the sky with grace ♪
- 00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:40,694 ♪ Into your arms ♪
- 00:21:49,672 --> 00:21:51,837 [ Door bells jingle ]
- 00:21:53,643 --> 00:21:55,005 [ Clears throat ]
- 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,446 Good morning.
- 00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:59,141 'Morning.
- 00:21:59,176 --> 00:22:00,307 Slow day, huh?
- 00:22:00,342 --> 00:22:01,649 Yep.
- 00:22:01,684 --> 00:22:03,948 Probably because everybody thought
- 00:22:03,983 --> 00:22:08,821 the world wouldn't be, you know, like, here today.
- 00:22:08,856 --> 00:22:10,658 Mm-hmm. Mom in back?
- 00:22:10,693 --> 00:22:12,187 Mom's not talking to us.
- 00:22:12,222 --> 00:22:13,496 Because we had sex?
- 00:22:13,531 --> 00:22:15,190 Yes. Uh, yeah.
- 00:22:15,225 --> 00:22:17,500 That makes sense.
- 00:22:17,535 --> 00:22:20,965 Happy birthday, by the way.
- 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,736 [ Sighs ]
- 00:00:06,335 --> 00:00:08,379 Запах новой футболки — отпад.
- 00:00:08,462 --> 00:00:09,839 Все телки будут наши
- 00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:11,924 благодаря футболкам «Рик и Морти».
- 00:00:12,007 --> 00:00:13,175 Можно ими банчить!
- 00:00:13,259 --> 00:00:14,927 О да! Обожаю фирменный шмот!
- 00:00:15,427 --> 00:00:16,887 - Дождь! Жжет! - Чёрт.
- 00:00:16,971 --> 00:00:18,347 Морти, укрой футболки!
- 00:00:18,430 --> 00:00:20,641 Дверь! Открой дверь! Рик!
- 00:00:20,724 --> 00:00:23,561 Морти, да хватит уже… Всё, открыто.
- 00:00:23,644 --> 00:00:25,855 - Боже. - Моя кожа вся горит.
- 00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:27,356 Что это за дождь такой?
- 00:00:28,607 --> 00:00:32,319 Мой кислотный дождь уничтожит всё натуральное,
- 00:00:32,403 --> 00:00:34,738 не будь я Дизельный Хорек.
- 00:00:37,158 --> 00:00:39,243 Нормалёк он себя нарёк.
- 00:00:40,661 --> 00:00:44,915 Кислотный дождик твой — один геморрой, Дизельный Хорек!
- 00:00:44,999 --> 00:00:47,418 Ой. Что за тёлка с театральными речами?
- 00:00:47,543 --> 00:00:50,754 Первым делом надо бы убрать всю эту кислоту
- 00:00:50,838 --> 00:00:52,256 небольшим ветерком!
- 00:00:53,507 --> 00:00:55,968 - Ой! Моя нога! - Ого.
- 00:00:56,051 --> 00:00:58,971 А теперь — неудержимый удар стихии!
- 00:01:00,556 --> 00:01:01,599 Ого.
- 00:01:01,682 --> 00:01:05,102 Чтоб тебя, Планетина! Ты еще узнаешь мою слизь!
- 00:01:06,270 --> 00:01:10,024 Против загрязнения есть лишь одно решение — ты!
- 00:01:10,608 --> 00:01:13,360 - Ого. - Хватит огокать. Иначе, клянусь богом…
- 00:01:13,444 --> 00:01:16,197 - Она же перед нами! - Да, собирай алюминий.
- 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,865 Земле нужен каждый атом.
- 00:01:19,783 --> 00:01:22,244 Спасибо! Каждый может помочь!
- 00:01:22,328 --> 00:01:23,162 Твои проблемы.
- 00:01:23,245 --> 00:01:24,663 - Не поняла. - Прости.
- 00:01:24,747 --> 00:01:27,208 То есть: «Без проблем. Рад тебе помочь».
- 00:01:27,291 --> 00:01:29,126 Это я так оговорился.
- 00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,628 Я идиот. Извини.
- 00:01:30,711 --> 00:01:33,130 Ты не идиот. Ты убрал мусор.
- 00:01:33,214 --> 00:01:35,382 - Я Морти. - Очень приятно, Морти.
- 00:01:35,466 --> 00:01:37,885 Планетина. Чудного дня тебе.
- 00:01:37,968 --> 00:01:39,136 Эй! Чего застрял?
- 00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:42,890 Любишь мороженое? За углом есть кафешка.
- 00:01:42,973 --> 00:01:47,061 Я не ем мороженое. Телятина — продукт молочной индустрии.
- 00:01:47,144 --> 00:01:49,605 - О, это плохо. - Очень.
- 00:01:50,105 --> 00:01:52,191 Господи! Да скорее ты! Идем!
- 00:01:52,274 --> 00:01:54,318 Можно поесть этичных пончиков.
- 00:01:54,401 --> 00:01:57,696 Я могу доставить вас с другом туда на раз-два, не беда.
- 00:01:57,780 --> 00:01:59,281 Ага, я спрошу у него.
- 00:01:59,865 --> 00:02:01,825 Он сказал, что не может. Поехали!
- 00:02:04,411 --> 00:02:06,163 Это что еще за херня?
- 00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:39,613 <i>Земля в опасности!</i>
- 00:02:39,697 --> 00:02:42,283 <i>Загрязнение и мусор убивают нашу планету!</i>
- 00:02:42,366 --> 00:02:46,620 <i>Мать-Природа призвала четверых ребят разных этносов, и когда дела плохи,</i>
- 00:02:46,704 --> 00:02:48,622 <i>по-настоящему плохи,</i>
- 00:02:48,706 --> 00:02:52,459 <i>они объединяют силы своих колец стихии и создают меня!</i>
- 00:02:52,543 --> 00:02:55,546 <i>Планетину, суперборца за природу!</i>
- 00:02:55,629 --> 00:02:56,964 <i>Против загрязнения</i>
- 00:02:57,047 --> 00:02:58,841 <i>есть одно решение — ты!</i>
- 00:02:58,924 --> 00:02:59,758 Клево, да?
- 00:02:59,842 --> 00:03:02,344 Не верится, что я тусил с Планетиной.
- 00:03:02,428 --> 00:03:05,014 Сколько лет этой даме? Она кажется зрелой.
- 00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:08,767 Она разумная смесь разных стихий, у нее не может быть возраста.
- 00:03:08,851 --> 00:03:11,395 Супер. Тейлор бросает меня перед вечеринкой,
- 00:03:11,478 --> 00:03:14,690 а мелкий братец гуляет с супергероем из Четвертой фазы.
- 00:03:14,773 --> 00:03:16,483 Да пристрелите вы меня уже.
- 00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:18,152 Давай без этого, Саммер.
- 00:03:18,235 --> 00:03:21,280 - Глянь, каково сестре! - Она не пишет. Это странно?
- 00:03:21,363 --> 00:03:22,573 - Да. - Нет.
- 00:03:22,656 --> 00:03:24,616 А если у дедули Рика есть козырь,
- 00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:26,869 такой крутой, что ты тут же забудешь
- 00:03:26,952 --> 00:03:28,537 о бросившем тебя мудаке?
- 00:03:29,246 --> 00:03:30,539 Мое блюдечко!
- 00:03:30,622 --> 00:03:33,042 Морглац, Слартиварт и Феркус-9.
- 00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:36,211 Три планеты гибнут в медленной цепи катаклизмов.
- 00:03:36,295 --> 00:03:38,213 Такой замес бывает раз в жизни.
- 00:03:38,297 --> 00:03:42,217 Солнце Морглаца станет сверхновой, Слартиварт летит в черную дыру,
- 00:03:42,301 --> 00:03:44,386 а Феркус-9 будет разбит астероидом.
- 00:03:44,470 --> 00:03:46,472 Там устроят прощальные мегатусы,
- 00:03:46,555 --> 00:03:49,600 и я хочу сполна на них кайфануть,
- 00:03:49,683 --> 00:03:52,061 взяв с собой любимую внучку!
- 00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:52,978 О да.
- 00:03:53,062 --> 00:03:57,358 Пара секунд на Морглаце — и пофигизм насчет мудака гарантирован.
- 00:03:57,441 --> 00:03:58,275 Ну и герпес.
- 00:03:58,359 --> 00:03:59,902 О, спасибо, дедуля Рик!
- 00:03:59,985 --> 00:04:01,153 Бегу собирать вещи.
- 00:04:01,236 --> 00:04:04,073 Саммер, но я еще не дал разрешения.
- 00:04:04,656 --> 00:04:06,950 Саммер, разрешение еще не дано!
- 00:04:07,034 --> 00:04:09,411 Ой, сильный лесной пожар в 300 км от нас!
- 00:04:09,495 --> 00:04:11,497 Класс! Планетина должна быть там.
- 00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:14,416 - Мам, дай кредитку, я куплю билет. - Ни за что.
- 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:16,627 Это же крупнейший пожар в этом году!
- 00:04:16,710 --> 00:04:18,545 - Ты не едешь! - Хрена с два!
- 00:04:18,629 --> 00:04:21,048 - Мы не в России. - Это не Россия, Джерри.
- 00:04:21,131 --> 00:04:23,467 Мое сердце разбито, мне надо отвлечься.
- 00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:26,136 Не нравится — можете пососать мои титьки.
- 00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:27,721 Адьос, жопошники.
- 00:04:27,805 --> 00:04:30,349 Морти, ты можешь пострадать. Подумай хорошо.
- 00:04:30,432 --> 00:04:32,976 Не хочу думать! Я хочу увидеть любимую!
- 00:04:33,060 --> 00:04:35,979 Не хочешь помочь — я сам доберусь до этого пожара.
- 00:04:41,151 --> 00:04:42,945 - Принесу вина. - Спасибо.
- 00:04:43,028 --> 00:04:45,906 Губернатор объявил обязательную эвакуацию.
- 00:04:45,989 --> 00:04:48,992 Надежды нет. Этот пожар не остановить. Никак!
- 00:04:49,493 --> 00:04:52,621 Ух ты! Это же Планетина, спасительница Земли!
- 00:04:52,704 --> 00:04:54,748 Ай! Мчу так, что аж пятки горят.
- 00:04:54,832 --> 00:04:57,418 Охладим-ка этот пожар льдом!
- 00:04:59,044 --> 00:05:01,463 Сюда, дружок. Давай, я тебе помогу.
- 00:05:03,132 --> 00:05:05,092 Морти? Что ты тут делаешь?
- 00:05:05,175 --> 00:05:06,677 Привет! Ты тоже тут?
- 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,679 Я услышал про пожар в лесу
- 00:05:08,762 --> 00:05:10,222 и вот заскочил помочь.
- 00:05:10,305 --> 00:05:12,015 Беги, дружок. Всё спокойно.
- 00:05:12,766 --> 00:05:14,726 Ох уж эти кролики. Вечно скачут…
- 00:05:14,810 --> 00:05:17,354 - И не плачут. - Ага.
- 00:05:17,438 --> 00:05:20,065 Классно мы… Классно потусили в тот раз.
- 00:05:20,149 --> 00:05:23,694 Мне было… В общем, мне типа понравилось.
- 00:05:23,777 --> 00:05:26,572 Хорошо. Я переживала. Ты мне очень нравишься.
- 00:05:26,655 --> 00:05:30,075 Охренеть. То есть, да, клёво.
- 00:05:30,159 --> 00:05:35,914 - Тогда, может, еще погуляем? - Я бы рада! Но, Морти, у меня ребята.
- 00:05:35,998 --> 00:05:38,250 Я хорошо с ними лажу. Я и сам ребенок.
- 00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:40,461 Нет, я про ребят, создающих меня,
- 00:05:40,544 --> 00:05:42,171 соединяя силы своих колец,
- 00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:44,047 чтобы я могла спасти Землю.
- 00:05:44,131 --> 00:05:47,217 А, ты о них! Я про них знаю. Они мне нравятся.
- 00:05:47,301 --> 00:05:48,594 Хорошо. А вот и они.
- 00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:52,431 Дружище, хочешь автограф? Они по 20 баксов.
- 00:05:52,514 --> 00:05:54,475 Нет, Эдди, это мой друг.
- 00:05:54,558 --> 00:05:56,977 Морти, это ребята. Друзья Тины.
- 00:05:57,060 --> 00:05:59,188 - Привет. - Детка, ты поправилась?
- 00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:01,899 Я вчера ела растительный пончик. Половинку.
- 00:06:01,982 --> 00:06:05,944 Сахар — кошмар для фигуры, детка. Хочешь стать уродиной?
- 00:06:06,028 --> 00:06:07,821 Я думал, они моложе.
- 00:06:07,905 --> 00:06:11,742 Они со мной с середины 90-х. С тех пор много воды утекло.
- 00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,702 Тебя это напрягает, да?
- 00:06:13,785 --> 00:06:15,537 Это непросто переварить.
- 00:06:15,621 --> 00:06:16,622 Я понимаю.
- 00:06:16,705 --> 00:06:19,500 Что ж, мне пора идти.
- 00:06:19,583 --> 00:06:20,459 Увидимся.
- 00:06:21,043 --> 00:06:22,461 Привет, 58-й канал!
- 00:06:22,544 --> 00:06:25,172 Планетина, ты в одиночку спасла целый лес.
- 00:06:25,255 --> 00:06:27,299 Стараюсь, но я была не одна!
- 00:06:27,382 --> 00:06:30,135 - А что за друг с тобой? - О, это Морти Смит.
- 00:06:30,219 --> 00:06:33,138 Он проехал 300 км, чтобы спасти кролика от пожара.
- 00:06:33,222 --> 00:06:34,348 Он особенный.
- 00:06:34,431 --> 00:06:37,601 - Так вы встречаетесь? - Ой, ну…
- 00:06:37,684 --> 00:06:39,811 Да. Встречаемся.
- 00:06:41,355 --> 00:06:43,106 - В жопу любовь. - В жопу.
- 00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:44,775 - Слушай правила. - Валяй.
- 00:06:44,858 --> 00:06:45,817 - Не ныть. - Ага.
- 00:06:45,901 --> 00:06:46,944 - Не реветь. - Так.
- 00:06:47,027 --> 00:06:49,488 И ни за что ни к кому не привязываться.
- 00:06:49,571 --> 00:06:52,324 Летим отрываться, количество важнее качества.
- 00:06:52,407 --> 00:06:53,408 - Уговор? - Да!
- 00:06:53,492 --> 00:06:55,410 Я буду лизать жопы вовсю.
- 00:06:55,494 --> 00:06:57,120 Зацени. Это я на вечеринке…
- 00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:01,416 «Ой, еще одна жопа? Вы не против, если я…»
- 00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:04,586 А рядом я: «Простите, мисс,
- 00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:07,005 кажется, у вас жопа не лизана. А ну-ка…<i>»</i>
- 00:07:09,550 --> 00:07:12,219 ПЛАНЕТА МОРГЛАЦ
- 00:07:14,012 --> 00:07:16,139 Ура! Туса в честь сверхновой!
- 00:07:16,223 --> 00:07:17,891 Любовь — ложь! Хана планете!
- 00:07:17,975 --> 00:07:21,228 Миру хана, но почему-то я хочу погибнуть именно с вами.
- 00:07:21,311 --> 00:07:23,063 - Ого! - Рик, не оборачивайся.
- 00:07:23,146 --> 00:07:25,107 Там на тебя кое-кто глазеет.
- 00:07:27,526 --> 00:07:31,071 Простите. Мне срочно надо встретиться с одной кобылкой.
- 00:07:32,698 --> 00:07:34,533 - Привет. - Я Рик. Привет.
- 00:07:34,616 --> 00:07:38,662 Миру хана, но почему-то я хочу погибнуть именно с вами.
- 00:07:38,745 --> 00:07:40,664 - Привет. - Жги, дедуля Рик!
- 00:07:40,747 --> 00:07:42,457 Никаких обязательств!
- 00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:47,504 <i>Я летел к тебе на самолете</i>
- 00:07:49,881 --> 00:07:55,512 <i>Я боялся, что не смогу без тебя</i>
- 00:07:56,597 --> 00:08:00,642 <i>Эти птички навек стали любящими душами</i>
- 00:08:00,726 --> 00:08:02,603 ОТКРОЙ ОКНО, ОШАЛЕЕШЬ ОТ БРИЗА
- 00:08:02,686 --> 00:08:04,104 ХИТРЫЙ ХОД
- 00:08:04,229 --> 00:08:07,649 <i>Детка, вернись ко мне Детка, прошу, вернись</i>
- 00:08:08,275 --> 00:08:09,985 - Сюрприз! - Откуда ты тут?
- 00:08:11,111 --> 00:08:13,739 Сказала ребятам, что перерабатываю батарейки.
- 00:08:13,822 --> 00:08:19,745 Ведь старые батарейки нужно сдавать лишь в специальные центры переработки,
- 00:08:19,828 --> 00:08:22,164 а не выбрасывать их в мусорку.
- 00:08:22,247 --> 00:08:23,457 Спасибо за совет.
- 00:08:23,540 --> 00:08:26,793 <i>Цветы не живут вечно</i>
- 00:08:26,877 --> 00:08:30,213 <i>Но мы запомним их навек</i>
- 00:08:30,297 --> 00:08:35,093 <i>Детка, вернись ко мне Детка, ты снова дома со мной</i>
- 00:08:39,056 --> 00:08:41,350 Солус взорвется через пять зип-зопов.
- 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:44,519 Если всё рассчитать, можно в этот миг кончить вместе.
- 00:08:44,603 --> 00:08:45,646 Классная идея.
- 00:08:45,729 --> 00:08:47,773 Кажется, я оставила сумку в баре.
- 00:08:47,856 --> 00:08:51,568 - Можете вместе ее принести? - Только попросите, миссис Обама!
- 00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,363 - Валим, дедуля. <i>- Ага. Жди у тачки.</i>
- 00:08:55,906 --> 00:08:58,075 Какая-то явно ее. Но где она?
- 00:08:58,158 --> 00:09:00,452 - Ну начнем без нее. - Ей же хуже.
- 00:09:04,122 --> 00:09:08,502 Эй, планета номер два! Вперед! Прости, что долго. Отшивала прилипал.
- 00:09:08,585 --> 00:09:10,545 Поехали. Всех в жопу.
- 00:09:10,629 --> 00:09:12,923 - Ты вести-то можешь? - Слышь…
- 00:09:13,006 --> 00:09:14,925 Доедем в лучшем виде.
- 00:09:15,008 --> 00:09:16,760 При… стегнись.
- 00:09:20,722 --> 00:09:21,556 Да!
- 00:09:23,266 --> 00:09:25,435 Ю-ху! Лучшая неделя в моей жизни!
- 00:09:25,519 --> 00:09:26,520 Привет.
- 00:09:26,603 --> 00:09:27,854 - Что это? - Ничего.
- 00:09:27,938 --> 00:09:32,442 Кто хочет увидеть крутейшую женщину-супергероя?
- 00:09:32,526 --> 00:09:34,111 - Огонь! - Вода!
- 00:09:34,194 --> 00:09:36,488 - Воздух! - И земля!
- 00:09:40,283 --> 00:09:42,160 О нет. Слёт! Морти, проснись!
- 00:09:42,244 --> 00:09:43,578 - Мы проспали. - Что?
- 00:09:43,662 --> 00:09:45,038 Эй, на ней же мальчик!
- 00:09:45,122 --> 00:09:46,623 Да опустите занавес!
- 00:09:46,707 --> 00:09:49,000 - Нет занавеса! - Уберите ее, идиоты!
- 00:09:49,084 --> 00:09:50,252 Нет, стойте, я…
- 00:09:50,335 --> 00:09:51,503 - Ой! - Охрана!
- 00:09:51,586 --> 00:09:53,004 Вы чего? Верните ее!
- 00:09:53,088 --> 00:09:54,423 - Пустите! - Извините.
- 00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:56,174 Планетина скоро вернется.
- 00:09:56,258 --> 00:10:01,346 Есть желающие купить эксклюзивные Фанко всего за 50 долларов?
- 00:10:01,430 --> 00:10:03,014 Это всё очень плохо.
- 00:10:03,098 --> 00:10:06,184 Надо сворачивать лавочку. Нам не нужны скандалы.
- 00:10:06,268 --> 00:10:09,271 Не парься. Я знаю, как разобраться с этим Морти.
- 00:10:09,771 --> 00:10:11,648 ПЛАНЕТА СЛАРТИВАРТ
- 00:10:14,192 --> 00:10:18,739 Мы тут толпой идем к Гиблеру, чтобы застрелиться.
- 00:10:18,822 --> 00:10:19,990 Хочешь с нами?
- 00:10:20,073 --> 00:10:23,285 Сорян, сегодня Сам-Сам не до мужиков. Валите на хер.
- 00:10:23,368 --> 00:10:27,539 Тебе же хуже. Это всё могло быть твоим.
- 00:10:28,874 --> 00:10:31,418 Эй, зацените! Тут старичье пляшет!
- 00:10:40,886 --> 00:10:42,471 Детка, ну ты даешь!
- 00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:43,764 - Привет. - Рик!
- 00:10:43,847 --> 00:10:46,349 Откуда, блин, тут эта морглацианка?
- 00:10:46,433 --> 00:10:48,226 Что? Она не морглацианка!
- 00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:50,812 Она тут одна голубая и не с тремя глазами!
- 00:10:50,896 --> 00:10:53,482 Ладно. Спалила. Это… Дафна.
- 00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,192 А это Саммер, моя внучка.
- 00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:56,985 Внучка? Привет.
- 00:10:57,068 --> 00:10:59,905 Дафна узнала про наш план, и я взял ее с собой.
- 00:10:59,988 --> 00:11:00,989 В багажнике.
- 00:11:01,072 --> 00:11:03,909 Какого хера, Рик? Был уговор — без обязательств!
- 00:11:03,992 --> 00:11:08,079 Это наш загул в честь конца света! Ты нарушил правила!
- 00:11:08,163 --> 00:11:10,415 Правила для зануд. Дафна любит крутых.
- 00:11:10,499 --> 00:11:12,918 Она готова на любой мой гнусный кипиш.
- 00:11:13,001 --> 00:11:14,419 - Привет. - Да, детка.
- 00:11:18,256 --> 00:11:20,926 Парни, прогуляйтесь. Я тут с ним справлюсь.
- 00:11:22,302 --> 00:11:23,303 Где Планетина?
- 00:11:23,386 --> 00:11:24,805 - Тише. - Хочу ее видеть!
- 00:11:24,888 --> 00:11:27,516 На Планетине огромная ответственность.
- 00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:29,100 Люди на нее рассчитывают.
- 00:11:29,184 --> 00:11:32,771 А ты, друг мой, непозволительная помеха для нас.
- 00:11:32,854 --> 00:11:34,272 Она для вас товар, да?
- 00:11:34,356 --> 00:11:35,774 Способ заработать.
- 00:11:35,857 --> 00:11:39,444 Но ведь это не так. Она умное, живое существо, я ее люблю.
- 00:11:39,528 --> 00:11:41,530 Любишь, да? А знаешь что?
- 00:11:42,489 --> 00:11:43,824 Мы ей владеем.
- 00:11:43,907 --> 00:11:45,492 Но это ненадолго.
- 00:11:45,575 --> 00:11:47,619 Мы продаем ее какому-то арабу.
- 00:11:47,702 --> 00:11:48,702 Огонь.
- 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,414 А тебя она может и разлюбить.
- 00:11:51,498 --> 00:11:54,167 - Если тебя чуток подпалить. - Стойте!
- 00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:57,546 Шутить со мной вздумал? Да?
- 00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:58,922 Тупой ты мудак!
- 00:12:00,924 --> 00:12:02,968 Босс, что у вас там? Впустите нас!
- 00:12:05,178 --> 00:12:06,012 Огонь!
- 00:12:08,306 --> 00:12:09,599 Огонь!
- 00:12:11,184 --> 00:12:12,936 Можем завершить сделку?
- 00:12:13,019 --> 00:12:16,398 Я хочу отпраздновать покупку сегодня за ужином,
- 00:12:16,481 --> 00:12:19,025 а эти детеныши тюленей моложе не становятся.
- 00:12:19,109 --> 00:12:22,988 Один момент, товарищ. Сейчас придет наш партнер.
- 00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:25,156 Где там этот Эдди?
- 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,867 Опять автоответчик.
- 00:12:26,950 --> 00:12:28,869 <i>Запишите сообщение</i>
- 00:12:28,952 --> 00:12:30,954 <i>Я не могу ответить на звонок</i>
- 00:12:31,037 --> 00:12:32,956 <i>Шучу. Это Эдди. Идите в жопу.</i>
- 00:12:33,999 --> 00:12:35,458 Кто заказывал пиццу?
- 00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:37,460 Никто не заказывал. Что это?
- 00:12:37,544 --> 00:12:41,298 Итальянская, с двойным сыром и хрустящей корочкой.
- 00:12:42,465 --> 00:12:45,218 Я знаю эти скулы как свои! Это Эдди!
- 00:12:45,302 --> 00:12:46,511 Сука! Убить его!
- 00:12:46,595 --> 00:12:48,305 - Камень! - Огонь!
- 00:12:54,686 --> 00:12:55,645 Воздух!
- 00:12:57,147 --> 00:12:58,815 Холодная вода!
- 00:12:58,899 --> 00:12:59,733 Земля!
- 00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:01,943 Fire!
- 00:13:02,986 --> 00:13:03,862 Что?
- 00:13:04,821 --> 00:13:05,655 Воздух.
- 00:13:06,907 --> 00:13:09,159 Теперь мы будем вместе, Планетина.
- 00:13:09,242 --> 00:13:12,579 Я отдельный персонаж, не представитель группы.
- 00:13:12,662 --> 00:13:15,248 Огонь! Вода! Земля! Воздух!
- 00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:20,420 Ай! Как нехорошо!
- 00:13:23,757 --> 00:13:27,135 <i>Блиб, нага, трив,</i>
- 00:13:27,218 --> 00:13:29,346 <i>верилекс, гам!</i>
- 00:13:29,429 --> 00:13:31,598 Веселого апокалипсиса!
- 00:13:31,681 --> 00:13:33,350 - Боже! - Это ужасно!
- 00:13:33,433 --> 00:13:34,351 К чему веселье?
- 00:13:39,439 --> 00:13:41,775 Привет. Есть тут водичка?
- 00:13:41,858 --> 00:13:43,068 У мамули сушняк.
- 00:13:43,151 --> 00:13:44,235 В бардачке.
- 00:13:44,319 --> 00:13:46,029 О да.
- 00:13:47,697 --> 00:13:49,658 Рик — крутейший чувак.
- 00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:51,076 Мы так сдружились.
- 00:13:51,159 --> 00:13:53,870 Он покажет мне чудеса вселенной.
- 00:13:53,954 --> 00:13:55,538 Ха! На следующей планете
- 00:13:55,622 --> 00:13:58,041 дед тебя бросит в два счета.
- 00:13:58,124 --> 00:13:59,376 Да ладно?
- 00:13:59,459 --> 00:14:02,170 Ага, его еще никто не смог охомутать.
- 00:14:02,253 --> 00:14:04,506 Вселенную с Риком изучаю только я.
- 00:14:04,589 --> 00:14:07,592 Но я даю ему полакомиться этим.
- 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,178 Ого… Господи.
- 00:14:10,261 --> 00:14:12,514 О да, деточка.
- 00:14:12,597 --> 00:14:14,516 Против них ты слаба.
- 00:14:14,599 --> 00:14:16,518 За них многие даже воевали.
- 00:14:16,601 --> 00:14:19,896 Они губили королей, вдохновляли президентов.
- 00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:24,609 О них сложены сотни песен и девять национальных гимнов.
- 00:14:24,693 --> 00:14:27,904 Лучшие локтевые сиськи на Морглаце.
- 00:14:27,988 --> 00:14:32,409 А теперь, благодаря Рику, лучшие во всей галактике.
- 00:14:32,492 --> 00:14:33,743 Мне их спрятать?
- 00:14:33,827 --> 00:14:34,869 - Прошу. - Лады.
- 00:14:34,953 --> 00:14:37,622 Но лишь потому, что ты внучка Рика.
- 00:14:37,706 --> 00:14:41,292 Дафна! Ты где, детка? Папочке нужно присосаться к локтям.
- 00:14:41,376 --> 00:14:44,045 Иду! А ты тут следи за дорогой.
- 00:14:44,129 --> 00:14:46,339 Сейчас станет скользко.
- 00:14:46,423 --> 00:14:47,924 - Привет! - Привет!
- 00:14:50,677 --> 00:14:53,763 Я надел солнечные очки и ушел как ни в чём не бывало.
- 00:14:53,847 --> 00:14:56,433 Я наконец свободна. Благодаря Морти.
- 00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:58,059 Какая романтичная история.
- 00:14:58,143 --> 00:15:00,562 Наш сын убил полную комнату людей.
- 00:15:00,645 --> 00:15:01,479 Твой ход.
- 00:15:02,147 --> 00:15:05,608 Семь. Раз, два, три, четыре, пять, шесть, семь!
- 00:15:05,692 --> 00:15:08,111 <i>Ой, разогрет мой обед!</i>
- 00:15:08,194 --> 00:15:10,572 - Ага! Ешь! - У меня нет карт с едой.
- 00:15:10,655 --> 00:15:12,824 Я могу одолжить пару кишей под 10%.
- 00:15:12,907 --> 00:15:14,409 Ты такой щедрый.
- 00:15:14,492 --> 00:15:15,535 Мой ход!
- 00:15:16,619 --> 00:15:19,914 - Две шестерки! Раз, два, три… - Что дальше, Планетина?
- 00:15:19,998 --> 00:15:23,543 Меня теперь не отвлекает подписание книг и реклама,
- 00:15:23,626 --> 00:15:26,129 мы с Морти займемся более важными делами.
- 00:15:26,212 --> 00:15:27,380 Вроде школы?
- 00:15:27,464 --> 00:15:29,966 Мы съедемся. Планетине негде жить,
- 00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:31,384 я позвал ее к нам.
- 00:15:31,468 --> 00:15:33,303 - Блин. Морти, нет. <i>- Я наелся!</i>
- 00:15:33,386 --> 00:15:35,555 - В смысле «нет»? - Ха-ха!
- 00:15:35,638 --> 00:15:37,223 Я не буду вам в тягость.
- 00:15:37,307 --> 00:15:40,435 Я лишь хочу как можно больше быть с вашим сыном.
- 00:15:40,518 --> 00:15:42,562 Ему 14 лет, мисс.
- 00:15:42,645 --> 00:15:44,439 Прости. Морти. Ты слишком юн.
- 00:15:44,522 --> 00:15:46,775 Но ты была подростком, когда залетела!
- 00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:50,153 Мне было 17! У мальчиков это почти как 26.
- 00:15:50,236 --> 00:15:54,365 Планетина очень хорошая, но у подростков любовь быстро проходит.
- 00:15:54,449 --> 00:15:57,744 Вы недооцениваете Морти. Он очень зрелый юноша.
- 00:15:57,827 --> 00:15:59,412 Видишь, мам! Я же говорил!
- 00:15:59,496 --> 00:16:01,539 Этому не бывать. И точка.
- 00:16:01,623 --> 00:16:03,875 Планетина, думаю, вам пора.
- 00:16:03,958 --> 00:16:05,335 Ладно, миссис Смит.
- 00:16:05,418 --> 00:16:07,837 <i>- О нет!</i> - Ненавижу тебя, мама!
- 00:16:07,921 --> 00:16:09,464 - Ты отстой! - Это же игра.
- 00:16:09,547 --> 00:16:10,423 - Тихо! - Ага.
- 00:16:10,507 --> 00:16:12,092 Вечно я везде лишний!
- 00:16:12,175 --> 00:16:14,385 Что я ни скажу, вы закатываете глаза,
- 00:16:14,469 --> 00:16:17,388 словно слушать меня — тяжкая обязанность.
- 00:16:17,472 --> 00:16:20,058 Все думают, что я ни на что не способен.
- 00:16:20,141 --> 00:16:22,477 Я облетел вселенную, видел сотни людей,
- 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:26,106 и лишь с Планетиной я наконец обрел свое место,
- 00:16:26,189 --> 00:16:27,690 а ты выгнала ее из дома!
- 00:16:27,774 --> 00:16:30,443 - Морти, прошу… - Никогда тебе этого не прощу!
- 00:16:30,527 --> 00:16:34,948 <i>Меч возьми и вдаль пусти</i>
- 00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:37,784 <i>Пусть под звездами блестит</i>
- 00:16:37,867 --> 00:16:39,869 Морти! Вернись!
- 00:16:43,665 --> 00:16:47,627 <i>Кто ты? Кто я для тебя?</i>
- 00:16:49,212 --> 00:16:52,090 <i>Я для тебя падший ангел</i>
- 00:16:56,219 --> 00:17:00,682 <i>Милосердно низвергнутый с небес</i>
- 00:17:01,975 --> 00:17:04,727 <i>Прямо в твои объятия</i>
- 00:17:04,811 --> 00:17:06,604 ИДИТЕ ПЕШКОМ
- 00:17:09,732 --> 00:17:11,067 ГОРИТ ДОМ КОНГРЕССМЕНА
- 00:17:15,697 --> 00:17:19,242 Убирайтесь! Все вон отсюда! Вы убиваете планету!
- 00:17:19,325 --> 00:17:22,829 Ваши не набрали голосов. Вон, или вас арестуют.
- 00:17:22,912 --> 00:17:24,581 Это вас надо арестовать.
- 00:17:24,664 --> 00:17:27,667 Разрыли землю, загрязнили воздух для своих детей!
- 00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:29,669 Вы не видите, что творите?
- 00:17:29,752 --> 00:17:31,462 Вам легко! Живете как хотите.
- 00:17:31,546 --> 00:17:35,383 А нам работать надо. Идем, парни. Ей нас не остановить.
- 00:17:35,466 --> 00:17:37,927 - Ну, в следующий раз. - Ждать некогда!
- 00:17:38,011 --> 00:17:40,221 Ты не слышишь, как стонет планета?
- 00:17:40,305 --> 00:17:42,932 - Грязные убийцы! - Планетина, стой!
- 00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:46,644 Есть лишь одно решение против загрязнения!
- 00:17:48,062 --> 00:17:49,564 О боже, нет.
- 00:17:49,647 --> 00:17:51,941 <i>Кто я для тебя?</i>
- 00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:57,030 <i>Я для тебя падший ангел</i>
- 00:17:57,113 --> 00:17:57,947 Нет!
- 00:17:59,157 --> 00:18:01,743 ПЛАНЕТА ФЕРКУС-9
- 00:18:02,327 --> 00:18:05,288 Офигеть, я трахаю коллег. А ведь я босс!
- 00:18:05,371 --> 00:18:09,459 Гей-секс с отцом — это бомба! И чего я тянул?
- 00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:11,085 Скоро всему конец!
- 00:18:11,169 --> 00:18:13,463 Последний шанс меня обоссать! Эй!
- 00:18:13,546 --> 00:18:15,715 Дед, метеор совсем рядом. Нам пора.
- 00:18:15,798 --> 00:18:17,425 Да ну, время еще есть.
- 00:18:17,508 --> 00:18:19,886 Завязывай с любовью и начинай отрываться.
- 00:18:19,969 --> 00:18:22,388 Любовь — тоже весело, Саммер. Попробуй.
- 00:18:22,472 --> 00:18:23,765 Но это же не любовь!
- 00:18:23,848 --> 00:18:26,226 Дафна с тобой просто чтобы выжить!
- 00:18:26,309 --> 00:18:28,186 Ах, молодежь. Какая наивность.
- 00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,277 Фу, гадость.
- 00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:53,294 Поздравляю, феркисианцы! Конец света отменяется.
- 00:18:53,419 --> 00:18:55,046 Дед, мы можем лететь домой.
- 00:18:55,129 --> 00:18:58,383 Дафна, ты тоже можешь. если правда этого хочешь.
- 00:18:58,466 --> 00:19:00,134 К чему это ты, Саммер?
- 00:19:00,218 --> 00:19:01,552 Конечно, Дафна хочет…
- 00:19:02,679 --> 00:19:05,265 Ах ты, гадкая стерва. Привет!
- 00:19:05,848 --> 00:19:06,933 Пока.
- 00:19:07,892 --> 00:19:11,854 Эй, это она спасла мир! Значит, завтра надо на работу!
- 00:19:13,356 --> 00:19:14,399 Сволочь!
- 00:19:17,151 --> 00:19:18,945 Мне жаль насчет Дафны.
- 00:19:19,028 --> 00:19:20,405 Молчи. Я всё понял.
- 00:19:20,488 --> 00:19:22,407 - Да? И не злишься? - Я в ярости.
- 00:19:24,492 --> 00:19:29,038 Но это очень в духе Рика: отменить конец света в припадке цинизма,
- 00:19:29,122 --> 00:19:31,582 лишь бы расстроить глупые отношения.
- 00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:33,543 Всё равно, извини.
- 00:19:33,626 --> 00:19:35,753 Да я бы сделал для тебя то же самое.
- 00:19:36,337 --> 00:19:37,171 Честно?
- 00:19:38,172 --> 00:19:40,091 - Люблю тебя, дед. - Не смущай.
- 00:19:45,763 --> 00:19:47,098 ОТВЕТЬ МНЕ.
- 00:19:48,349 --> 00:19:51,144 Я НЕ ЗНАЮ, ЧТО ТЕБЕ СКАЗАТЬ.
- 00:19:51,227 --> 00:19:53,229 ОТПРАВЛЕНО — ПРОЧИТАНО.
- 00:19:55,064 --> 00:19:57,650 Уходи. Я не хочу больше видеться.
- 00:19:57,734 --> 00:19:59,652 Даже не попробуешь всё наладить?
- 00:19:59,736 --> 00:20:02,613 - Мы были так близки. - Ты убила 300 человек.
- 00:20:02,697 --> 00:20:03,948 А ты — моих ребят.
- 00:20:04,032 --> 00:20:06,284 Но они хотели тебя продать.
- 00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:07,952 А Эдди пытался меня убить!
- 00:20:08,036 --> 00:20:09,954 А шахтеры ничего не сделали!
- 00:20:10,038 --> 00:20:14,000 Невинные шахтеры голосовали так, чтобы сохранить работу,
- 00:20:14,083 --> 00:20:17,045 чтобы покупать больше фигни и есть трупы животных.
- 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:18,629 Система сломана, Морти.
- 00:20:18,713 --> 00:20:21,507 Лишь так я могу спасти Землю.
- 00:20:22,216 --> 00:20:24,052 Лишь так я могу спасти тебя.
- 00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:27,013 Если так, то я не хочу, чтобы меня спасали.
- 00:20:27,096 --> 00:20:30,183 - Уходи. - Но… я люблю тебя.
- 00:20:31,476 --> 00:20:35,396 Я… Я не могу тебя любить. Просто не могу.
- 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:36,481 Прошу, пойми.
- 00:20:36,564 --> 00:20:37,398 Нет.
- 00:20:38,066 --> 00:20:38,900 Я уйду.
- 00:20:39,609 --> 00:20:42,278 Но не смей просить меня о понимании.
- 00:20:42,362 --> 00:20:44,655 Планетина. Мне очень жаль.
- 00:20:46,407 --> 00:20:47,283 Пошел ты.
- 00:20:58,628 --> 00:21:00,338 Морти, всё в порядке?
- 00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:02,715 Она ушла, мама! Ее нет!
- 00:21:02,799 --> 00:21:05,051 А я так ее любил!
- 00:21:05,134 --> 00:21:06,844 Я знаю, дорогой.
- 00:21:08,513 --> 00:21:09,764 Мама рядом.
- 00:21:09,847 --> 00:21:16,229 <i>Пусть под звездами блестит</i>
- 00:21:17,271 --> 00:21:18,439 <i>Кто ты?</i>
- 00:21:18,523 --> 00:21:21,275 <i>Кто я для тебя?</i>
- 00:21:23,194 --> 00:21:27,115 <i>Я для тебя падший ангел</i>
- 00:21:29,617 --> 00:21:34,747 <i>Милосердно низвергнутый с небес</i>
- 00:21:35,915 --> 00:21:40,169 <i>Прямо в твои объятия</i>
- 00:21:48,177 --> 00:21:50,680 ПЛАНЕТА ФЕРКУС-9 УТРО ПОНЕДЕЛЬНИКА
- 00:21:55,059 --> 00:21:56,310 Доброе утро.
- 00:21:56,394 --> 00:21:57,228 Доброе.
- 00:21:59,272 --> 00:22:01,315 - Не идет торговля? - Ага.
- 00:22:01,941 --> 00:22:04,026 Видимо, все думали,
- 00:22:04,110 --> 00:22:09,031 что сегодня нас всех тут уже не будет.
- 00:22:09,699 --> 00:22:12,118 - Мама там? - Она с нами не разговаривает.
- 00:22:12,201 --> 00:22:13,744 Из-за нашего секса?
- 00:22:13,828 --> 00:22:16,497 - Да. - Ну да. Можно понять.
- 00:22:17,874 --> 00:22:19,542 С днем рождения, кстати.
- 00:22:27,842 --> 00:22:30,720 Перевод субтитров: Александр Ивашкевич
- 00:00:06,436 --> 00:00:08,535 Ahh, I love that new T-shirt smell.
- 00:00:08,570 --> 00:00:10,339 Chicks are gonna be up all up in our biz
- 00:00:10,374 --> 00:00:12,044 when they see us wearing these Rick and Morty custom tees.
- 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:13,540 I bet we could sell these.
- 00:00:13,575 --> 00:00:14,838 Hells yeah. I fuckin' love merch!
- 00:00:14,873 --> 00:00:16,004 Aah!
- 00:00:16,039 --> 00:00:17,346 The rain! It -- It burns! Oh, shit.
- 00:00:17,381 --> 00:00:18,380 Quick, Morty, protect the shirts!
- 00:00:18,415 --> 00:00:20,008 The door! Open the door!
- 00:00:20,043 --> 00:00:21,350 Rick! Is it --
- 00:00:21,385 --> 00:00:22,648 Morty, will ya stop tryna--
- 00:00:22,683 --> 00:00:24,089 Okay, there, it's open.
- 00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:26,014 Jesus. My skin is on fire.
- 00:00:26,049 --> 00:00:27,389 W-Why is the rain doing that?
- 00:00:27,424 --> 00:00:30,425 My acid rain will destroy
- 00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:34,693 all things green and natural or my name isn't Diesel Weasel.
- 00:00:37,137 --> 00:00:40,237 Huh. Well, that guy's easy to please.
- 00:00:40,272 --> 00:00:42,998 Your acid rain is an acid pain...
- 00:00:43,033 --> 00:00:44,868 in the butt, Diesel Weasel!
- 00:00:44,903 --> 00:00:46,276 Yikes. Wow.
- 00:00:46,311 --> 00:00:47,871 Who's the chick in need of a dialogue pass?
- 00:00:47,906 --> 00:00:50,676 First order of business is to clean up this acid rain
- 00:00:50,711 --> 00:00:52,546 with a little wind!
- 00:00:52,581 --> 00:00:53,580 Yoww!
- 00:00:53,615 --> 00:00:55,351 Ow! Ow, my leg!
- 00:00:55,386 --> 00:00:56,583 Wow.
- 00:00:56,618 --> 00:00:59,091 And now an elemental punch that's too hot to handle!
- 00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,587 Wa-kah!
- 00:01:00,622 --> 00:01:01,852 Oh, wow.
- 00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:03,051 Curse you, Planetina!
- 00:01:03,086 --> 00:01:05,130 I'll get you next slime!
- 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,728 There's only one solution for Earth's pollution -- you!
- 00:01:10,731 --> 00:01:12,401 Wow. Morty, if you say "wow"
- 00:01:12,436 --> 00:01:13,732 one more time, I swear to fucking God...
- 00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:15,470 Are you crazy, Rick? She's right there!
- 00:01:15,505 --> 00:01:17,142 Yeah, get that aluminum, Morty. It's 8% of the Earth.
- 00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:18,638 We'll need every atom.
- 00:01:19,443 --> 00:01:21,740 Thanks! Every litter-bit helps!
- 00:01:21,775 --> 00:01:23,247 Your problem!
- 00:01:23,282 --> 00:01:24,611 Excuse me? S-Sorry.
- 00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:27,119 I-I-I wanted to say, "N-No problem, you're welcome,"
- 00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:29,154 a-a-and it came out "your problem."
- 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:30,419 I-I'm an idiot. Sorry.
- 00:01:30,454 --> 00:01:33,048 You're not an idiot. You recycled.
- 00:01:33,083 --> 00:01:35,127 I-I'm Morty. Nice to meet you, Morty.
- 00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,294 I'm Planetina, and I hope you have a wonderful day.
- 00:01:37,329 --> 00:01:38,394 Rick: Hey!
- 00:01:38,429 --> 00:01:39,560 The fuck we doin' here?
- 00:01:39,595 --> 00:01:41,628 Uhh, y-y-you like soft serve?
- 00:01:41,663 --> 00:01:42,959 There's a shop around the bend.
- 00:01:42,994 --> 00:01:44,730 Oh, I don't eat ice cream.
- 00:01:44,765 --> 00:01:47,095 Veal is a product of the dairy industry.
- 00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:48,305 Oh, that's not good.
- 00:01:48,340 --> 00:01:49,504 No, it is not.
- 00:01:49,539 --> 00:01:52,067 Oh, my God! Come on! Let's go!
- 00:01:52,102 --> 00:01:54,102 I know a place that serves cruelty-free doughnuts.
- 00:01:54,137 --> 00:01:56,280 If you'd like, I could fly you and your friend there
- 00:01:56,315 --> 00:01:57,479 easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.
- 00:01:57,514 --> 00:01:59,613 Okay, I-I-I'll ask him.
- 00:01:59,648 --> 00:02:02,484 He -- He said he can't come. Let's go!
- 00:02:04,015 --> 00:02:06,620 What the fuck was that shit?
- 00:02:37,884 --> 00:02:39,653 Planetina: The Earth is in danger!
- 00:02:39,688 --> 00:02:42,051 Pollution and waste are ruining our planet.
- 00:02:42,086 --> 00:02:44,625 Mother Nature has enlisted the help of four young adults
- 00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:46,858 from each major ethnicity -- and when things look bad,
- 00:02:46,893 --> 00:02:49,663 and I mean really bad -- they combine the powers
- 00:02:49,698 --> 00:02:52,303 of their elemental rings to create me!
- 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,372 Planetina, conservationist super person!
- 00:02:55,407 --> 00:02:57,066 There's only one solution...
- 00:02:57,101 --> 00:02:58,870 for Earth's pollution -- you!
- 00:02:58,905 --> 00:03:00,069 P-Pretty cool, huh?
- 00:03:00,104 --> 00:03:02,346 I-I can't believe I actually hung out with Planetina.
- 00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:04,810 How old is this woman? She looks very mature.
- 00:03:04,845 --> 00:03:06,713 She's a sentient amalgam of natural elements,
- 00:03:06,748 --> 00:03:08,649 so I don't believe age applies to her.
- 00:03:08,684 --> 00:03:10,321 Great. Taylor Murphy dumps me the day before his
- 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:12,686 hella-big pool party and my little brother's
- 00:03:12,721 --> 00:03:14,391 dating a phase four super hero.
- 00:03:14,426 --> 00:03:16,228 Just shoot me in the fucking head until I die.
- 00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:17,856 Hey, hey, none of that, Summerfest.
- 00:03:17,891 --> 00:03:19,594 Look what you're doing to your sister, you piece of shit.
- 00:03:19,629 --> 00:03:20,991 Is it weird that she hasn't texted me yet?
- 00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:22,366 Yes. No.
- 00:03:22,401 --> 00:03:23,895 What if I told you that your Grandpa Rick's
- 00:03:23,930 --> 00:03:25,534 got something up his sleeve that's so Rick-diculous
- 00:03:25,569 --> 00:03:26,766 that it's gonna make you forget all about
- 00:03:26,801 --> 00:03:28,438 that stupid asshole that dumped you?
- 00:03:28,473 --> 00:03:30,242 Hey, my egg plate!
- 00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:32,574 Morglutz, Slartivart, and Ferkus 9 --
- 00:03:32,609 --> 00:03:35,071 three planets are all ending in a delayed succession
- 00:03:35,106 --> 00:03:36,545 of cataclysmic events.
- 00:03:36,580 --> 00:03:38,206 A jam like this comes around only once in a lifetime.
- 00:03:38,241 --> 00:03:39,746 Morglutz's sun is going supernova,
- 00:03:39,781 --> 00:03:41,583 Slartivart is falling into a black hole,
- 00:03:41,618 --> 00:03:43,519 and Ferkus 9 is getting "Deep Impact"-ed
- 00:03:43,554 --> 00:03:44,883 by an asteroid.
- 00:03:44,918 --> 00:03:46,555 They're all having a major, final blow out --
- 00:03:46,590 --> 00:03:48,458 and I'm gonna drug it up and suck it up before each one
- 00:03:48,493 --> 00:03:50,592 goes ka-blamo, and I'm taking
- 00:03:50,627 --> 00:03:51,890 my favorite grandkid along with me!
- 00:03:51,925 --> 00:03:53,958 Hells yeah. 10 seconds on Morglutz,
- 00:03:53,993 --> 00:03:55,564 and you'll be up to your neck in I-could-give-two-
- 00:03:55,599 --> 00:03:57,126 shits-about- what's-his-ass.
- 00:03:57,161 --> 00:03:58,226 And also herpes.
- 00:03:58,261 --> 00:03:59,271 Um... Oh, my God,
- 00:03:59,306 --> 00:04:00,404 thank you, Grandpa Rick!
- 00:04:00,439 --> 00:04:01,801 I'm gonna go pack my rollie.
- 00:04:01,836 --> 00:04:03,902 Um, Summer? I-I-I haven't given you my approval yet.
- 00:04:03,937 --> 00:04:05,233 Summer, approval
- 00:04:05,268 --> 00:04:06,575 is yet to be given here!
- 00:04:06,610 --> 00:04:08,137 There's a huge forest fire
- 00:04:08,172 --> 00:04:09,578 like 200 miles from here!
- 00:04:09,613 --> 00:04:11,547 This is amazing! Planetina's bound to be there.
- 00:04:11,582 --> 00:04:13,384 Mom, I-I need the credit card to buy a train ticket.
- 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:14,649 Absolutely not.
- 00:04:14,684 --> 00:04:16,486 Mom, this is the biggest wildfire of the year!
- 00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:17,817 You're not going! You're not going!
- 00:04:17,852 --> 00:04:18,917 Da fuck I'm not.
- 00:04:18,952 --> 00:04:20,424 Last time I checked, this wasn't Russia.
- 00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:22,151 It's not Russia, Jerry. My heart is broken,
- 00:04:22,186 --> 00:04:23,790 and I deserve to let loose,
- 00:04:23,825 --> 00:04:26,221 and if you don't like it, you can suck my bigger tit.
- 00:04:26,256 --> 00:04:27,629 Adios, C-words.
- 00:04:27,664 --> 00:04:28,993 Morty, I don't want you getting hurt.
- 00:04:29,028 --> 00:04:30,830 Please, think this over. I don't want to think!
- 00:04:30,865 --> 00:04:32,601 I want to see a girl I like.
- 00:04:32,636 --> 00:04:33,932 If you don't want to help me,
- 00:04:33,967 --> 00:04:35,934 I'll find my own goddamn way to the wildfire.
- 00:04:40,776 --> 00:04:42,809 I'll get the wine. Thank you.
- 00:04:42,844 --> 00:04:45,581 The Governor has implemented a mandatory evacuation.
- 00:04:45,616 --> 00:04:48,144 Abandon all hope, people! Nothing will stop this fire.
- 00:04:48,179 --> 00:04:49,684 Nothing!
- 00:04:49,719 --> 00:04:52,588 Scratch that! Here's Planetina, Savioress of Earth!
- 00:04:52,623 --> 00:04:54,623 Yeeouch! Talk about a hot foot.
- 00:04:54,658 --> 00:04:58,154 Better put this wildfire on ice!
- 00:04:58,662 --> 00:04:59,859 Morty: Come here, little buddy.
- 00:04:59,894 --> 00:05:01,993 Come on, come on, come on, I gotcha.
- 00:05:02,831 --> 00:05:04,765 Morty?! What are you doing here?
- 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,470 Oh, hey! Y-You're here, too?
- 00:05:06,505 --> 00:05:08,340 Yeah, I heard about the wildfire back home,
- 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,803 and, you know, I stopped by to lend a hand.
- 00:05:09,838 --> 00:05:12,036 H-Here you go, fella. All safe now.
- 00:05:12,071 --> 00:05:14,478 Ahh, rabbits -- al-always hopping --
- 00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:15,644 Never stoppin'.
- 00:05:15,679 --> 00:05:17,481 Y-Yeah.
- 00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:18,944 S-So it was, uh, great hanging --
- 00:05:18,979 --> 00:05:20,550 hanging out the other day.
- 00:05:20,585 --> 00:05:22,486 I-I was getting kind of a -- I mean I-I got kind of
- 00:05:22,521 --> 00:05:23,652 a p-positive vibe.
- 00:05:23,687 --> 00:05:25,390 Oh, good. I was putting one out.
- 00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:26,523 I-I really like you.
- 00:05:26,558 --> 00:05:27,821 Holy shit.
- 00:05:27,856 --> 00:05:29,988 I-I-I mean, uh, well, oh, all right.
- 00:05:30,023 --> 00:05:31,858 Next step, you w-want to go out again?
- 00:05:31,893 --> 00:05:35,697 I do! But, uh, Morty, I have kids.
- 00:05:35,732 --> 00:05:37,996 Oh, I-I-I'll get along with them. I'm-I'm a kid.
- 00:05:38,031 --> 00:05:40,163 No, I mean the four kids that bring me into existence
- 00:05:40,198 --> 00:05:42,066 by combining the power of their elemental rings
- 00:05:42,101 --> 00:05:44,002 so I can save Earth from ecological disasters.
- 00:05:44,037 --> 00:05:46,202 Oh, them! No, I-I know about them.
- 00:05:46,237 --> 00:05:47,412 I-I like them.
- 00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,513 Oh, good. Well, here they are now.
- 00:05:49,548 --> 00:05:51,174 Hey, buddy, you want an autograph?
- 00:05:51,209 --> 00:05:52,516 That's 20 bucks a pop.
- 00:05:52,551 --> 00:05:54,177 No, Eddie, he's my friend.
- 00:05:54,212 --> 00:05:56,817 Morty, these are my kids, The Tina-Teers.
- 00:05:56,852 --> 00:05:57,851 Oh, hey.
- 00:05:57,886 --> 00:05:59,314 Tina, girl, have you gained weight?
- 00:05:59,349 --> 00:06:01,151 Uh, well, I had a plant-based doughnut yesterday.
- 00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:02,350 Just a half.
- 00:06:02,385 --> 00:06:04,528 Sugar is worst thing for figure, darling.
- 00:06:04,563 --> 00:06:06,024 You want to be ugly?
- 00:06:06,059 --> 00:06:07,861 Heh, I-I thought they'd be younger.
- 00:06:07,896 --> 00:06:09,830 They've been manifesting me since the mid-'90s.
- 00:06:09,865 --> 00:06:12,195 A lot has changed since then.
- 00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:13,603 This is freaking you out, huh?
- 00:06:13,638 --> 00:06:15,572 It is a lot to take in.
- 00:06:15,607 --> 00:06:16,903 I understand.
- 00:06:16,938 --> 00:06:19,235 Well, I guess I'd better go.
- 00:06:19,270 --> 00:06:20,676 See you around.
- 00:06:20,711 --> 00:06:22,337 Hi-de-ho, TV 58!
- 00:06:22,372 --> 00:06:23,679 Planetina, you single-handily saved
- 00:06:23,714 --> 00:06:24,911 a National Forest with ease.
- 00:06:24,946 --> 00:06:26,715 I do what I can, but I can't do it alone!
- 00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:28,453 And who's your friend over there?
- 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:29,949 Oh! This is Morty Smith.
- 00:06:29,984 --> 00:06:32,754 He traveled 200 miles just to save a rabbit from the fire.
- 00:06:32,789 --> 00:06:34,217 He's a very special guy.
- 00:06:34,252 --> 00:06:35,350 So, are you two dating?
- 00:06:35,385 --> 00:06:37,462 Oh, um, w-- I-I-I --
- 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:40,058 Yes, we are.
- 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,028 Fuck love. Fuck love.
- 00:06:43,063 --> 00:06:44,392 All right, time to set the rules.
- 00:06:44,427 --> 00:06:45,393 Lay it on me. No whining.
- 00:06:45,428 --> 00:06:46,394 Done. No crying.
- 00:06:46,429 --> 00:06:47,769 As if.
- 00:06:47,804 --> 00:06:49,397 And absolutely, positively no getting attached.
- 00:06:49,432 --> 00:06:52,103 We're here to smash max ass -- quantity over quality.
- 00:06:52,138 --> 00:06:53,544 Deal? Deal!
- 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,579 I'm gonna eat so much ass, you're gonna shit.
- 00:06:55,614 --> 00:06:57,240 Check this out. This is gonna be me at the party --
- 00:06:57,275 --> 00:06:58,450 b-b-laaaah!
- 00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,946 B-b-blaaaah! Oh, is that another ass?
- 00:06:59,981 --> 00:07:01,915 Don't mind if I-- b-b-blaaaah!
- 00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:04,753 Ho-ho! This'll be me across the room -- "Excuse me, miss.
- 00:07:04,788 --> 00:07:06,458 It appears that you have an uneaten ass.
- 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,416 Allow me -- lalalalalaaah!
- 00:07:08,451 --> 00:07:09,494 Lalalalalaaah! B-b-blaaaah!
- 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:11,529 B-b-blaaaah!
- 00:07:13,665 --> 00:07:15,929 Whoo! Fucking super nova party!
- 00:07:15,964 --> 00:07:17,766 Love is a lie! Hack the planet!
- 00:07:17,801 --> 00:07:19,097 The world's ending, and for some reason,
- 00:07:19,132 --> 00:07:21,231 I want to die with you more than anyone else.
- 00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,298 Wow!
- 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:23,508 Yo, Rick, don't look now,
- 00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,939 but someone's giving you the big eye.
- 00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:28,942 'Scuse me. I got to see a man about
- 00:07:28,977 --> 00:07:31,516 a horse I'd rather have sex with.
- 00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:32,649 Aah!
- 00:07:32,684 --> 00:07:33,980 Hello. I'm Rick.
- 00:07:34,015 --> 00:07:36,488 Hey. So, the world's ending, and for some reason,
- 00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:38,446 I want to die with you more than anyone else.
- 00:07:38,481 --> 00:07:39,590 Hello.
- 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:40,624 Summer: Have fun, Grandpa Rick!
- 00:07:40,659 --> 00:07:42,956 No commitments!
- 00:07:49,998 --> 00:07:56,134 you gave me strength
- 00:07:56,169 --> 00:08:02,514 soul twin loves
- 00:08:08,082 --> 00:08:09,147 Surprise!
- 00:08:09,182 --> 00:08:10,181 What are you doing here?
- 00:08:10,216 --> 00:08:11,479 Mmm!
- 00:08:11,514 --> 00:08:13,723 I told my kids I went out to recycle batteries.
- 00:08:13,758 --> 00:08:16,121 All kidding aside, everyone should discard
- 00:08:16,156 --> 00:08:19,795 used batteries at proper disposal centers
- 00:08:19,830 --> 00:08:22,127 instead of tossing them into a regular waste bin.
- 00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:23,029 Thanks for the tip.
- 00:08:26,738 --> 00:08:29,200 past forever
- 00:08:38,948 --> 00:08:41,245 Solus is collapsing in five zip-zops.
- 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:42,587 If we time it right,
- 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,347 we can skeet together as the sun explodes.
- 00:08:44,382 --> 00:08:45,722 Sounds ah-mazing.
- 00:08:45,757 --> 00:08:47,823 Say, I think I left my purse back at the bar.
- 00:08:47,858 --> 00:08:49,594 Can both of you go get it for me?
- 00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:51,728 Anything for you, Mrs. Obama.
- 00:08:51,763 --> 00:08:53,191 Time to ghost, Grandpa Rick.
- 00:08:53,226 --> 00:08:55,358 Rick: Righty-right. Meet me at the car.
- 00:08:55,393 --> 00:08:57,932 One of these has to be hers. Where'd she go?
- 00:08:57,967 --> 00:08:59,527 I guess we'll have to start without her.
- 00:08:59,562 --> 00:09:00,671 Oh, her loss.
- 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,871 B-b-blaaaaaaaaah!
- 00:09:03,742 --> 00:09:06,072 Whoo! Planet number two, let's do it!
- 00:09:06,107 --> 00:09:08,206 Sorry, I took so long. I had to ditch some clingers.
- 00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:10,538 Let's do it. Up the butt, y'all.
- 00:09:10,573 --> 00:09:11,913 Geez, you okay to drive?
- 00:09:11,948 --> 00:09:12,749 Shiii!
- 00:09:12,784 --> 00:09:14,883 'Course, I-I-I'm mable.
- 00:09:14,918 --> 00:09:17,149 ckle up.
- 00:09:20,924 --> 00:09:22,253 Yeah!
- 00:09:22,926 --> 00:09:25,520 Whoo! The best week of my life!
- 00:09:25,555 --> 00:09:26,554 Daphne: Hello.
- 00:09:26,589 --> 00:09:27,863 What was that? Nothin'.
- 00:09:27,898 --> 00:09:30,129 Who wants to see the most radadelic
- 00:09:30,164 --> 00:09:31,735 lady-version of a super hero?
- 00:09:32,771 --> 00:09:34,463 Fire! Water!
- 00:09:34,498 --> 00:09:37,070 Air! And Dirt!
- 00:09:40,273 --> 00:09:42,471 Oh, no, the convention. Morty, wake up!
- 00:09:42,506 --> 00:09:43,747 We overslept. What's happening?
- 00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:44,979 Hey, there's a little boy on her!
- 00:09:45,014 --> 00:09:46,783 Oh, d-d-drop the curtain!
- 00:09:46,818 --> 00:09:47,784 There is no curtain!
- 00:09:47,819 --> 00:09:48,917 Idiots, zap her away!
- 00:09:48,952 --> 00:09:50,281 No, no, no. Wait, I-I --
- 00:09:50,316 --> 00:09:51,579 Whoa! Security!
- 00:09:51,614 --> 00:09:52,987 What did you do? B-Bring her back!
- 00:09:53,022 --> 00:09:54,758 No! Let me go! Sorry, folks.
- 00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:56,419 Planetina will be back in a moment.
- 00:09:56,454 --> 00:10:00,588 Until then, who wants a limited edition Funko for only $50?
- 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,492 This is very bad.
- 00:10:03,527 --> 00:10:04,669 We are about to close deal.
- 00:10:04,704 --> 00:10:06,396 We cannot afford controversy.
- 00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:07,639 Don't you worry.
- 00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,872 I know how ta deal with this Morty kid.
- 00:10:14,208 --> 00:10:17,242 Hey, a bunch of us are going over to Hibler's place
- 00:10:17,277 --> 00:10:18,606 to shoot ourselves.
- 00:10:18,641 --> 00:10:20,245 Y-You want to come with?
- 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,445 Sorry, but no man's tying down Sum-Sum tonight.
- 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,446 Hit the dicks.
- 00:10:23,481 --> 00:10:24,656 Your loss, honey.
- 00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:27,351 You could have had allllllll this.
- 00:10:28,827 --> 00:10:31,960 Hey, check it out! There's old people dancing!
- 00:10:40,663 --> 00:10:42,465 Damn, girl. Your moves is tight.
- 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,708 Hello. Summer: Rick!
- 00:10:43,743 --> 00:10:46,304 What the WTF is that Morglutzian doing here?
- 00:10:46,339 --> 00:10:48,141 Morglutzian? She's -- She's not Morglutzian.
- 00:10:48,176 --> 00:10:50,506 She's the only blue person here without three eyes!
- 00:10:50,541 --> 00:10:53,377 Okay, fine. B-Busted. Thi-Thi-This is, uh, Daphne.
- 00:10:53,412 --> 00:10:55,115 Daphne, this is Summer, my granddaughter.
- 00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:57,051 Granddaughter? Hello.
- 00:10:57,086 --> 00:10:58,646 Daphne heard about our little party crawl,
- 00:10:58,681 --> 00:10:59,823 and I told her she could come with.
- 00:10:59,858 --> 00:11:00,989 I-I-In the trunk.
- 00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:02,518 What in the actual fuck, Rick?
- 00:11:02,553 --> 00:11:03,893 We said no commitments!
- 00:11:03,928 --> 00:11:06,797 This was to be our Apocalypse Party-crawl!
- 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,326 You broke the rules!
- 00:11:08,361 --> 00:11:10,229 Squares follow rules, Summer. Daphne's down to freak.
- 00:11:10,264 --> 00:11:12,704 sick, nasty thing I want to do.
- 00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,497 Hello. Oh, yeah, baby.
- 00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:19,843 All right, fellas, take five.
- 00:11:19,878 --> 00:11:21,845 He ain't gonna give me any trouble.
- 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,176 Morty: Where's Planetina?
- 00:11:23,211 --> 00:11:25,013 Don't you worry about her. I want to see her!
- 00:11:25,048 --> 00:11:27,510 Planetina's got a lot of responsibilities.
- 00:11:27,545 --> 00:11:29,017 People depend on her.
- 00:11:29,052 --> 00:11:30,480 And you, my friend,
- 00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,416 are a distraction we can't afford right now.
- 00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:34,088 She's just a product to you, isn't she?
- 00:11:34,123 --> 00:11:35,925 Something to make money off of.
- 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,355 W-Well, Planetina's more than that.
- 00:11:37,390 --> 00:11:39,258 She's a brilliant, living thing, and I love her.
- 00:11:39,293 --> 00:11:42,360 Oh, you love her? Well, guess what.
- 00:11:42,395 --> 00:11:43,768 We own her.
- 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:45,165 But not for long, of course.
- 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,695 We're gonna sell her to some Arab overseas.
- 00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:49,103 Fire.
- 00:11:49,138 --> 00:11:50,907 As for you, maybe she won't
- 00:11:50,942 --> 00:11:53,503 love you so much if you ain't so pretty no more.
- 00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:54,537 Stop! Yah!
- 00:11:54,572 --> 00:11:55,747 Ow!
- 00:11:55,782 --> 00:11:57,243 Y-You want to fuck with me? Do you?
- 00:11:57,278 --> 00:11:59,278 Stupid fuckin' shit hole!
- 00:11:59,313 --> 00:12:00,279 Aaaaaah!
- 00:12:01,447 --> 00:12:03,711 Guard: Boss, what's happening? Let us in!
- 00:12:03,746 --> 00:12:04,756 Aah!
- 00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,417 Fire!
- 00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:10,157 Fire!
- 00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,721 Can we conclude our business?
- 00:12:13,756 --> 00:12:15,261 I'm eager to celebrate my purchase of
- 00:12:15,296 --> 00:12:17,769 Planetina over dinner, and these infant seals
- 00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:19,067 aren't getting any younger.
- 00:12:19,102 --> 00:12:20,695 Momentarily, comrade.
- 00:12:20,730 --> 00:12:22,906 Soon, our partner will return.
- 00:12:22,941 --> 00:12:25,139 Ugh! What is taking Eddie so long?
- 00:12:25,174 --> 00:12:26,635 His phone keep going to voicemail.
- 00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:28,637 Eddie:
- 00:12:28,672 --> 00:12:30,738 to the phone
- 00:12:30,773 --> 00:12:32,740 Just kidding. It's Eddie. Go fuck yourself.
- 00:12:33,985 --> 00:12:35,281 Which one of you ordered a pizza?
- 00:12:35,316 --> 00:12:37,283 No one order pizza. What is this?
- 00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:41,452 Well, I got a cheesy Italian, extra crispy just for you.
- 00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:44,323 I know those cheek bones like they're me own!
- 00:12:44,358 --> 00:12:45,258 It's Eddie!
- 00:12:45,293 --> 00:12:46,754 Fucking Mother! Kill him!
- 00:12:46,789 --> 00:12:48,965 Stone! Stone! Fire!
- 00:12:51,266 --> 00:12:52,595 Aah!
- 00:12:54,533 --> 00:12:55,631 Airs!
- 00:12:56,799 --> 00:12:58,843 Cold Water! Cold Water!
- 00:12:58,878 --> 00:13:00,504 Dirt!
- 00:13:00,539 --> 00:13:02,143 Fire!
- 00:13:03,476 --> 00:13:04,607 Wa--
- 00:13:05,775 --> 00:13:06,950 Airs.
- 00:13:06,985 --> 00:13:09,150 Now we can be together, Planetina.
- 00:13:09,185 --> 00:13:10,987 I am an individual character.
- 00:13:11,022 --> 00:13:12,516 I represent no group.
- 00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:13,616 Fire! Aaah!
- 00:13:13,651 --> 00:13:15,453 Water! Dirt! Airs!
- 00:13:17,655 --> 00:13:18,654 Aah!
- 00:13:18,689 --> 00:13:21,261 Not good!
- 00:13:23,826 --> 00:13:24,968 Blib...
- 00:13:25,003 --> 00:13:26,299 Naga...
- 00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:27,465 Threve...
- 00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:29,467 Verillex...Gam!
- 00:13:29,502 --> 00:13:31,436 Happy Apocalypse!
- 00:13:31,471 --> 00:13:33,009 -Oh, my gaaah! -This is awful!
- 00:13:33,044 --> 00:13:34,637 Why were we cheering?!
- 00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:41,611 Hello. Got any agua around here?
- 00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:42,953 Mama's got to hydrate.
- 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,383 Glove box.
- 00:13:44,418 --> 00:13:46,517 Oh, yeah.
- 00:13:47,355 --> 00:13:49,685 Rick is the coolest guy ever.
- 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,159 We're total soul mates.
- 00:13:51,194 --> 00:13:53,557 He's gonna show me the wonders of the universe.
- 00:13:53,592 --> 00:13:55,328 Ha! Once we get to the next planet,
- 00:13:55,363 --> 00:13:57,869 Grandpa Rick is gonna ditch you, like, so fast.
- 00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,563 Oh, is that so?
- 00:13:59,598 --> 00:14:01,829 Uh-huh, nobody is tying that guy down -- ever.
- 00:14:01,864 --> 00:14:04,799 The only chick seeing the universe with Rick is me.
- 00:14:04,834 --> 00:14:07,769 Not if I keep Rick's mouth full of these.
- 00:14:08,409 --> 00:14:10,310 Oh, my -- Oh, my God.
- 00:14:10,345 --> 00:14:12,708 Oh, yeah. That's right, girlfriend.
- 00:14:12,743 --> 00:14:14,314 This is what you're up against.
- 00:14:14,349 --> 00:14:16,316 Wars were fought over these.
- 00:14:16,351 --> 00:14:19,924 They've ruined kings, inspired presidents.
- 00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:22,927 A hundred songs and nine national anthems
- 00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,522 have been written about them.
- 00:14:24,557 --> 00:14:27,657 Best set of elbow-titties on Morglutz.
- 00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:32,200 And now, thanks to Rick, the best in the galaxy.
- 00:14:32,235 --> 00:14:33,696 You want me to put them away?
- 00:14:33,731 --> 00:14:35,038 Please. Sure.
- 00:14:35,073 --> 00:14:37,436 But only because you're Rick's granddaughter.
- 00:14:37,471 --> 00:14:39,438 Daph? Daphne? Where are ya, baby?
- 00:14:39,473 --> 00:14:41,209 Papa needs some more elbow grease.
- 00:14:41,244 --> 00:14:43,871 Comin'! Ya might want to keep your eyes on the road.
- 00:14:43,906 --> 00:14:46,511 It's about to get sloppy.
- 00:14:46,546 --> 00:14:48,183 Hello! Hello.
- 00:14:48,218 --> 00:14:50,383 Ugh!
- 00:14:50,418 --> 00:14:52,616 Then I put my sunglasses on and walked out
- 00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:53,749 like nothing happened.
- 00:14:53,784 --> 00:14:55,289 I'm finally free.
- 00:14:55,324 --> 00:14:56,719 All because of Morty.
- 00:14:56,754 --> 00:14:59,062 What a romantic story about our son killing
- 00:14:59,097 --> 00:15:00,558 a room full of people.
- 00:15:00,593 --> 00:15:02,065 Your turn.
- 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,396 Uh, seven.
- 00:15:03,431 --> 00:15:05,761 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven!
- 00:15:05,796 --> 00:15:08,038 Oyyy, don't punch my lunch!
- 00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,237 A-ha! Eat it!
- 00:15:09,272 --> 00:15:10,568 I'm out of food cards.
- 00:15:10,603 --> 00:15:12,636 How 'bout I loan you two quiche at 10%?
- 00:15:12,671 --> 00:15:14,638 That's so generous.
- 00:15:14,673 --> 00:15:16,244 My turn!
- 00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:17,707 Double sixes, baby!
- 00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,907 One, two, three... So, what's next for Planetina?
- 00:15:19,942 --> 00:15:22,382 Well, now that I'm not distracted by book signings
- 00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:25,088 and publicity stunts, Morty and I can concentrate on
- 00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:26,320 more important things.
- 00:15:26,355 --> 00:15:27,123 Like school.
- 00:15:27,158 --> 00:15:28,487 Like moving in.
- 00:15:28,522 --> 00:15:30,291 Planetina doesn't have a place to stay now,
- 00:15:30,326 --> 00:15:31,556 so I said she could live with us.
- 00:15:31,591 --> 00:15:33,591 Holy shit. Morty, no. I'm so full!
- 00:15:33,626 --> 00:15:34,999 What do you mean, no? Whoo!
- 00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:36,264 Don't punch my lunch.
- 00:15:36,299 --> 00:15:37,430 I wouldn't be a burden, Mrs. Smith.
- 00:15:37,465 --> 00:15:39,168 I only want to spend as much time
- 00:15:39,203 --> 00:15:40,598 as possible with your son.
- 00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:42,501 My son is 14, miss.
- 00:15:42,536 --> 00:15:44,503 I'm sorry, Morty. You're way too young.
- 00:15:44,538 --> 00:15:46,769 But y-y-y-you were a teenager when Dad got you pregnant.
- 00:15:46,804 --> 00:15:48,144 I was 17!
- 00:15:48,179 --> 00:15:49,937 That's at least 26 in boy years.
- 00:15:49,972 --> 00:15:52,984 I'm sure Planetina is very nice, but when you're a teenager,
- 00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,480 love is fleeting, at best.
- 00:15:54,515 --> 00:15:57,780 You underestimate Morty. He is a very mature young man.
- 00:15:57,815 --> 00:15:59,122 See, Mom? I told you!
- 00:15:59,157 --> 00:16:01,487 This is not happening. End of discussion.
- 00:16:01,522 --> 00:16:03,786 Planetina, I think you should leave, please.
- 00:16:03,821 --> 00:16:05,194 Okay, Mrs. Smith.
- 00:16:06,725 --> 00:16:07,999 Mom, I hate you!
- 00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,264 You suck! Hey, now, it's only a game.
- 00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:10,298 Shut up! Shut up!
- 00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,431 Okay. My whole life,
- 00:16:11,466 --> 00:16:12,762 I've never fit in anywhere.
- 00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,302 Everything I have to say is always met with
- 00:16:14,337 --> 00:16:15,666 an eye roll as if the act of hearing
- 00:16:15,701 --> 00:16:17,635 what I have to say is some exhausting chore.
- 00:16:17,670 --> 00:16:19,802 Nobody in this family thinks I can say or do anything right!
- 00:16:19,837 --> 00:16:22,112 I've been all over the universe, met hundreds of people,
- 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:24,939 and Planetina's the only one I've ever met that makes me feel
- 00:16:24,974 --> 00:16:27,612 like I belong, and you just kicked her out of our house!
- 00:16:27,647 --> 00:16:28,646 Morty, please --
- 00:16:28,681 --> 00:16:30,648 I will never forgive you for this!
- 00:16:30,683 --> 00:16:35,389 and throw it far
- 00:16:35,424 --> 00:16:37,556 the morning star
- 00:16:37,591 --> 00:16:40,328 Morty! Morty, come back!
- 00:16:55,576 --> 00:17:01,085 with grace
- 00:17:15,530 --> 00:17:17,761 Get out! All of you, get out of there!
- 00:17:17,796 --> 00:17:19,433 You're killing the planet!
- 00:17:19,468 --> 00:17:21,105 Your people didn't get the votes.
- 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,667 Leave, or I'll have you arrested.
- 00:17:22,702 --> 00:17:24,537 It's you people who should be arrested.
- 00:17:24,572 --> 00:17:27,573 Gutting the land, poisoning the air your children breathe?!
- 00:17:27,608 --> 00:17:29,212 Can't you see what you're doing?!
- 00:17:29,247 --> 00:17:31,412 Easy for you to say! You can live how you want!
- 00:17:31,447 --> 00:17:33,711 We need the jobs. Let's go, boys.
- 00:17:33,746 --> 00:17:35,119 She can't stop us.
- 00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:36,780 W-We'll get them next time.
- 00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:38,122 There's no time left!
- 00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,190 Can't you hear the Earth screaming?
- 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,686 You filthy murderers!
- 00:17:41,721 --> 00:17:42,786 Planetina, stop it!
- 00:17:42,821 --> 00:17:46,889 There's only one solution for Earth's pollution!
- 00:17:48,431 --> 00:17:50,233 Oh, my God, no.
- 00:17:56,934 --> 00:17:58,802 No!
- 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,115 I can't believe I'm banging my co-workers.
- 00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,413 And I'm the boss!
- 00:18:05,448 --> 00:18:07,910 This gay sex with my Dad is terrific!
- 00:18:07,945 --> 00:18:09,417 What was I thinking?
- 00:18:09,452 --> 00:18:11,155 It'll all be over soon!
- 00:18:11,190 --> 00:18:13,256 Last chance to pee on me! Anyone?!
- 00:18:13,291 --> 00:18:15,126 Okay, Grandpa, the meteor's almost here.
- 00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:17,425 We can go now. Ah, nah, we still got time.
- 00:18:17,460 --> 00:18:19,790 Well, then stop being in love and start having fun.
- 00:18:19,825 --> 00:18:22,430 Ah, love's pretty fun, Summer. Just give it a chance.
- 00:18:22,465 --> 00:18:23,926 It's not even real love!
- 00:18:23,961 --> 00:18:26,434 Daphne's just with you so she can keep surviving!
- 00:18:26,469 --> 00:18:28,832 Ah, the young -- so naive.
- 00:18:34,972 --> 00:18:36,675 Eww, gross.
- 00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:51,624 Congratulations, Ferkisians!
- 00:18:51,659 --> 00:18:53,428 Your apocalypse is aborted.
- 00:18:53,463 --> 00:18:55,089 And, Grandpa, you and I can go home.
- 00:18:55,124 --> 00:18:56,299 Daphne, you may come with.
- 00:18:56,334 --> 00:18:58,367 If you want to and don't have to.
- 00:18:58,402 --> 00:18:59,665 I don't know what you're getting at, Summer.
- 00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,305 Obviously, Daphne wants to --
- 00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:05,638 Aw, you cold bitch. Hello?
- 00:19:05,673 --> 00:19:07,343 Goodbye.
- 00:19:07,675 --> 00:19:10,137 Hey, she's the one that saved the world!
- 00:19:10,172 --> 00:19:11,974 Now we got to go to work tomorrow!
- 00:19:13,879 --> 00:19:15,219 You fucker!
- 00:19:16,684 --> 00:19:18,618 Sorry I messed things up with Daphne.
- 00:19:18,653 --> 00:19:20,488 Just shut up. I get it.
- 00:19:20,523 --> 00:19:23,051 Really? You're not mad? I'm furious.
- 00:19:24,021 --> 00:19:26,659 But I have to admit, it was pretty Rick of you
- 00:19:26,694 --> 00:19:28,859 to avert an apocalypse in a tantrum of cynicism
- 00:19:28,894 --> 00:19:31,367 just to destroy one dumb relationship.
- 00:19:31,402 --> 00:19:33,633 Still, sorry.
- 00:19:33,668 --> 00:19:36,031 Eh, I would've done the same for you.
- 00:19:36,066 --> 00:19:38,132 Promise?
- 00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:39,133 Love you, Grandpa Rick.
- 00:19:39,168 --> 00:19:40,871 Don't make it weird.
- 00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:57,360 Please go. I-I-I can't see you anymore.
- 00:19:57,395 --> 00:19:59,494 Don't you even want to try to make it work?
- 00:19:59,529 --> 00:20:00,495 We were so close.
- 00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:02,563 You murdered 300 people.
- 00:20:02,598 --> 00:20:03,828 And you murdered my kids.
- 00:20:03,863 --> 00:20:06,193 They were gonna sell you away forever.
- 00:20:06,228 --> 00:20:07,568 Eddie was trying to kill me!
- 00:20:07,603 --> 00:20:09,570 Th-Those miners were innocent.
- 00:20:09,605 --> 00:20:12,837 Those innocent miners voted men into power to protect
- 00:20:12,872 --> 00:20:14,542 their precious jobs so they can buy more
- 00:20:14,577 --> 00:20:16,742 plastic garbage and eat the corpses of tortured animals.
- 00:20:16,777 --> 00:20:18,612 The system is broken, Morty.
- 00:20:18,647 --> 00:20:22,209 This is the only way I can save Earth,
- 00:20:22,244 --> 00:20:23,782 the only way I can save you.
- 00:20:23,817 --> 00:20:26,851 If that's the only way, I-I don't want to be saved.
- 00:20:26,886 --> 00:20:28,215 Please, go.
- 00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:31,526 But...I love you.
- 00:20:31,561 --> 00:20:33,957 I-I-I can't -- I-I can't love you.
- 00:20:33,992 --> 00:20:35,464 I-I just can't.
- 00:20:35,499 --> 00:20:36,531 Please understand.
- 00:20:36,566 --> 00:20:38,027 No.
- 00:20:38,062 --> 00:20:42,273 I'll go, but don't you dare ask me to understand.
- 00:20:42,308 --> 00:20:46,068 Planetina, I-I'm so sorry.
- 00:20:46,103 --> 00:20:48,070 Fuck you.
- 00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,489 Morty? Are you all right?
- 00:21:00,524 --> 00:21:02,821 She's gone, Mom! She's gone!
- 00:21:02,856 --> 00:21:04,922 I loved her so much!
- 00:21:04,957 --> 00:21:06,495 I know you did, honey.
- 00:21:06,530 --> 00:21:08,992 Shh, Mommy's here.
- 00:21:09,027 --> 00:21:16,934 the morning star
- 00:21:29,487 --> 00:21:34,523 with grace
- 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,446 Good morning.
- 00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:59,141 'Morning.
- 00:21:59,176 --> 00:22:00,307 Slow day, huh?
- 00:22:00,342 --> 00:22:01,649 Yep.
- 00:22:01,684 --> 00:22:03,948 Probably because everybody thought
- 00:22:03,983 --> 00:22:08,821 the world wouldn't be, you know, like, here today.
- 00:22:08,856 --> 00:22:10,658 Mm-hmm. Mom in back?
- 00:22:10,693 --> 00:22:12,187 Mom's not talking to us.
- 00:22:12,222 --> 00:22:13,496 Because we had sex?
- 00:22:13,531 --> 00:22:15,190 Yes. Uh, yeah.
- 00:22:15,225 --> 00:22:17,500 That makes sense.
- 00:22:17,535 --> 00:22:20,965 Happy birthday, by the way.