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Мортножество
Рик, Морти, Саммер, Бет и Джерри обедают, когда их убивают инопланетные кальмары-убийцы. Они оказались приманками, и настоящий Рик предупреждён об их смерти. Однако выясняется, что настоящая семья Смитов также была приманкой, и вспыхивает хаотическая серия событий, когда приманки предупреждаются о смерти других приманок и изо всех сил пытаются выяснить, какая семья является оригинальной, поскольку оригинальный Рик не осознаёт, что приманки прибегли к созданию большего количества приманок. После того, как семья приманок сталкивается и убивает кальмаров, выясняется, что кальмары на самом деле являются приманками, пытающимися убить все другие версии самих себя. Другая семья, которая всё ещё думает, что они настоящие, похищена изуродованными приманками, пытающимися сорвать их кожу, но спасается приманками, похожими на Пиноккио, которые пытаются сплотить группу приманок, но приманки-кальмары убивают их. Одна семья предупреждает всех приманок о своём местонахождении, и почти все приманки погибают в результате начавшегося хаоса, хотя некоторые игнорируют маяк и уходят невредимыми. Тем временем настоящая семья Смитов, отправляющаяся в приключение с Космической Бет, получает предупреждение о смерти приманок. В сцене после титров Пиноккио Джерри, который ранее избежал приманок-кальмаров, бросив других приманок на смерть, был разгрызен на части несколькими бобрами и впоследствии взят инопланетянами, использовавшимися в качестве держателя зеркала в ковбойском салуне, а после использовался как распятие, оплакивая свою неспособность умереть.
- 00:00:07,030 --> 00:00:08,469 Beth: You two are hungry.
- 00:00:08,504 --> 00:00:09,965 It's a big day. We're gonna kill God.
- 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,538 Come again? Christian god is real.
- 00:00:11,573 --> 00:00:12,803 He's been asleep for thousands of years,
- 00:00:12,838 --> 00:00:14,211 We're gonna sneak up there and kill 'em.
- 00:00:14,246 --> 00:00:15,542 Mob style. Just whack his ass.
- 00:00:15,577 --> 00:00:16,807 Can I kill God? Fuck off, Summer.
- 00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:18,380 As if. Beth, do you hear this?
- 00:00:18,415 --> 00:00:19,645 Sweetie, don't get all worked up
- 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,152 before your job interview.
- 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,483 Job interview? Yes.
- 00:00:22,518 --> 00:00:23,649 Is that so hard to believe?
- 00:00:23,684 --> 00:00:24,980 Actually, yeah.
- 00:00:25,015 --> 00:00:26,157 Something's off.
- 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,159 ¶¶
- 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,160 No!
- 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,161 [ Screams ]
- 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,327 Shit!
- 00:00:31,362 --> 00:00:34,726 ¶¶
- 00:00:34,761 --> 00:00:35,991 Mr. Always: Hunt me!
- 00:00:36,026 --> 00:00:39,500 Hunt me! Hunt me! Somebody hunt me!
- 00:00:39,535 --> 00:00:41,238 Don't hunt him to completion! Hunt me!
- 00:00:41,273 --> 00:00:42,668 [ Watch beeps ] Oh, shit. Um...
- 00:00:42,703 --> 00:00:44,835 Everyone start packing. N-No time to explain.
- 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,177 Rick? Dad, what's wrong?
- 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,838 Someone just killed a decoy family.
- 00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:49,873 I'm Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted!
- 00:00:49,908 --> 00:00:53,008 Yes, and how interesting did you think that would stay?!
- 00:00:53,043 --> 00:01:00,917 ¶¶
- 00:01:00,952 --> 00:01:08,892 ¶¶
- 00:01:08,927 --> 00:01:16,867 ¶¶
- 00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:24,611 ¶¶
- 00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:26,041 Morty: You made clones of us?
- 00:01:26,076 --> 00:01:28,043 Decoys, Morty. Very different.
- 00:01:28,078 --> 00:01:30,254 Very different, sweetie. Different h-h-- Ow!
- 00:01:30,289 --> 00:01:31,783 Yeah, Dad. Different h-how?
- 00:01:31,818 --> 00:01:33,554 Lotta people out there want a piece of this, sweetie.
- 00:01:33,589 --> 00:01:35,226 I'm cool, and it makes them feel bad.
- 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,052 So, y'know, after that trouble with Space Beth,
- 00:01:37,087 --> 00:01:38,757 I made passable copies of the family
- 00:01:38,792 --> 00:01:39,890 and placed them around the country
- 00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,463 as a buffer zone to protect --
- 00:01:41,498 --> 00:01:43,135 But<i> why</i> does he always want to be hunted? Jerry...
- 00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,060 That's not important right now, Dad. Sure, guys.
- 00:01:45,095 --> 00:01:46,732 Rick can make secret decoys of the family
- 00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:48,569 and place them all around the country,
- 00:01:48,604 --> 00:01:50,065 but fuck me if I have questions
- 00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,067 about the Starfish Man in a target suit.
- 00:01:52,102 --> 00:01:54,069 So thankful this is my Saturday.
- 00:01:54,104 --> 00:01:55,741 Why was he in that cryo-pod?!
- 00:01:55,776 --> 00:01:57,413 The<i> cryopod</i> is what confuses you?
- 00:01:57,448 --> 00:01:59,415 Jerry, can't you see we've moved on to higher stakes?
- 00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:01,582 Well, I don't see any stakes at all.
- 00:02:01,617 --> 00:02:05,421 ¶¶
- 00:02:05,456 --> 00:02:07,654 [ Morty laughs ]
- 00:02:07,689 --> 00:02:10,756 [ Watch beeps ] Ah, shit!
- 00:02:10,791 --> 00:02:12,626 Guess we'll just be saying<i> ciao bella</i>
- 00:02:12,661 --> 00:02:14,331 to our deposit, then -- Shut up and pack, Jerry.
- 00:02:14,366 --> 00:02:16,927 Squids just killed a decoy family. Decoy family?
- 00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:18,599 Is this is why you wanted to get out of town?
- 00:02:18,634 --> 00:02:19,765 You think I'd lie to you
- 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,305 about why we're on vacation, Morty?
- 00:02:21,340 --> 00:02:22,603 I wouldn't lie to you.
- 00:02:22,638 --> 00:02:24,803 Well, that's a lie. Huh...
- 00:02:24,838 --> 00:02:26,607 So, someone out there is trying to kill us?
- 00:02:26,642 --> 00:02:27,938 Someone's<i> always</i> trying to kill us --
- 00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,445 That's what the decoys are for.
- 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,284 They go on fun, self-contained terrestrial adventures and...
- 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,945 take bullets meant for us.
- 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,320 Shit.
- 00:02:36,355 --> 00:02:38,652 [ Screams ] No!
- 00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:41,490 [ Watch beeps ] Oh, shit.
- 00:02:41,525 --> 00:02:43,657 Decoy family.
- 00:02:43,692 --> 00:02:44,856 I think Dad was still outside.
- 00:02:44,891 --> 00:02:46,627 Wh-Wh-What's a decoy family?
- 00:02:46,662 --> 00:02:48,299 Hard concept, Morty. Hard concept.
- 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,125 I've never really cracked it, if I'm being honest.
- 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,534 Decided it was maybe better as a kind of kinetic mislead
- 00:02:52,569 --> 00:02:54,129 for another special episode! Oh, cool.
- 00:02:54,164 --> 00:02:57,968 Announcer: <i> We now return to "When Wolf."</i>
- 00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,640 Whoa. A time-traveling wolf?
- 00:02:59,675 --> 00:03:01,972 Count me in. Yeah, I never thought of the where in werewolf
- 00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,479 like who, what, when and where.
- 00:03:03,514 --> 00:03:05,008 C-Clever wordplay!
- 00:03:05,043 --> 00:03:07,175 <i> When Wolf.</i> <i> Dracula.</i>
- 00:03:07,210 --> 00:03:08,814 <i> You know</i> <i> why I'm here.</i>
- 00:03:08,849 --> 00:03:10,145 <i> I'm safe here, Ian.</i>
- 00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:12,147 <i> Christianity hasn't</i> <i> been invented yet --</i>
- 00:03:12,182 --> 00:03:14,556 <i> Crosses are just</i> <i> baby T's to me now.</i>
- 00:03:14,591 --> 00:03:15,821 <i> I got out.</i>
- 00:03:15,856 --> 00:03:18,362 <i> Please,</i> <i> don't invite me back in.</i>
- 00:03:18,397 --> 00:03:20,991 Huh, kinda mucked it up with this Dracula stuff. You're right.
- 00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:22,894 It shows a lack of faith in their core concept,
- 00:03:22,929 --> 00:03:24,698 I'd much rather watch When Wolf go to the '20s
- 00:03:24,733 --> 00:03:26,337 and invest in the stock market --
- 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,867 but then eat people. Yeah.
- 00:03:31,542 --> 00:03:32,838 Look, if you really want to know
- 00:03:32,873 --> 00:03:35,170 what happened to Beth's mom, it -- Whup.
- 00:03:35,205 --> 00:03:37,040 Squid aliens just killed a decoy family.
- 00:03:37,075 --> 00:03:39,207 Decoy family? You made<i> more</i> clones?
- 00:03:39,242 --> 00:03:41,418 Clones are like 32% of all sci-fi, sweetie.
- 00:03:41,453 --> 00:03:43,849 You don't get to own 'clones. Yes, I made some decoys.
- 00:03:43,884 --> 00:03:45,180 They're exactly like us,
- 00:03:45,215 --> 00:03:46,720 with a few tweaks and a backdoor shutdown.
- 00:03:46,755 --> 00:03:48,854 Do you just get hard creating sentient life?
- 00:03:48,889 --> 00:03:51,054 Actually, I get hard protecting my family. Ew.
- 00:03:51,089 --> 00:03:53,760 Gross. Yeah, now everyone gets killer doppelgangers.
- 00:03:53,795 --> 00:03:55,190 Cool deal. The decoys are harmless, Beth.
- 00:03:55,225 --> 00:03:56,895 Grandpa Rick, do the decoys know they're decoys?
- 00:03:56,930 --> 00:03:59,029 They wouldn't be very good decoys if they did, Sum Sum.
- 00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,866 So they think they're us? That's the deal.
- 00:04:00,901 --> 00:04:03,935 How do you know <i> we're</i> not decoys?
- 00:04:03,970 --> 00:04:05,541 Oh, my God. We're decoys.
- 00:04:05,576 --> 00:04:07,037 Oh, God. We might not be real.
- 00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,280 W-We might be decoys! M-Morty, quick!
- 00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:09,908 Wh-Wh-What do I do? My failsafe, Morty.
- 00:04:09,943 --> 00:04:11,239 M-M-My final, secret failsafe.
- 00:04:11,274 --> 00:04:13,043 I-It proves I'm real. You have to help me.
- 00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:14,110 I-I-I'd never joke about this.
- 00:04:14,145 --> 00:04:15,782 There's a barcode, Morty.
- 00:04:15,817 --> 00:04:17,113 A-A barcode on the interior of my left ass cheek.
- 00:04:17,148 --> 00:04:18,554 What? Morty, please, I'm begging you.
- 00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:19,588 I'm not looking at your ass.
- 00:04:19,623 --> 00:04:20,886 Please, Morty! Is it there?
- 00:04:20,921 --> 00:04:22,558 God damn it! Just tell me if I'm real!
- 00:04:22,593 --> 00:04:23,724 Morty, do it!
- 00:04:23,759 --> 00:04:25,055 [ Farts ] Gross!
- 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,595 Dad! [ Laughs ] Summer, you fucking idiot.
- 00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:28,223 We're not decoys. Wh-Why did <i> I</i> get punished?!
- 00:04:28,258 --> 00:04:30,434 A, decoys don't build decoys, and, B, you think
- 00:04:30,469 --> 00:04:32,095 the mere suggestion I'm fake would break me?
- 00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:33,899 Christ, I'm not your mom. Fuck off.
- 00:04:33,934 --> 00:04:35,802 [ Watch beeps ] Jeez, these guys really wanna kill me bad.
- 00:04:35,837 --> 00:04:37,133 Alright. Here's the plan.
- 00:04:37,168 --> 00:04:38,904 We're gonna hide out with a decoy family,
- 00:04:38,939 --> 00:04:40,741 and when these squids show up, we jump their asses.
- 00:04:40,776 --> 00:04:42,578 Jerry! Come on! Family emergency.
- 00:04:42,613 --> 00:04:45,647 A bigger emergency than my lemon squares not setting?
- 00:04:45,682 --> 00:04:47,418 They're gluten free, sugar free,
- 00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:50,784 and lemon free.
- 00:04:53,316 --> 00:04:54,755 Think you got the wrong house, bro.
- 00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:57,824 Analysis Mode. Password 8-0-0-8-5.
- 00:04:57,859 --> 00:04:59,496 Kind of expected a funnier password.
- 00:04:59,531 --> 00:05:01,091 I didn't plan on showing them off.
- 00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:03,830 Damn. Like "Westworld." Yes, Morty, like "Westworld."
- 00:05:03,865 --> 00:05:06,096 But don't fuck them. S-Summer! Whatever, creep.
- 00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:08,098 I'm gonna see how accurate you got my room.
- 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,441 Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house,
- 00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:13,004 d-did you mean like, y'know, a-a-an exact replica?
- 00:05:13,039 --> 00:05:14,478 I know about the Yosemite t-shirt, Morty.
- 00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:16,942 Shit. You know you can use tissues, right?
- 00:05:16,977 --> 00:05:18,449 I can't finish without it.
- 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,276 So you<i> do</i> know what a happy family looks like.
- 00:05:21,311 --> 00:05:23,619 I know what a fake one looks like.
- 00:05:23,654 --> 00:05:26,116 Morty: Uh, Rick? Rick: What?
- 00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:28,151 Did you use this house to make decoys, too?
- 00:05:28,186 --> 00:05:30,120 What? Morty, why the fuck would I do that?
- 00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:32,859 You think I'd go somewhere else to --
- 00:05:32,894 --> 00:05:35,631 Okay. Well, I am now less worried about the squids.
- 00:05:35,666 --> 00:05:38,370 Isolate head at normal processing.
- 00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:40,295 What the fuck you think you're doing down there?
- 00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:42,671 You're making decoys? Wait, how do you --
- 00:05:42,706 --> 00:05:44,640 Oh, God. Summer was right.
- 00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:45,971 Everyone in the car.
- 00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:48,644 You said decoys didn't make decoys.
- 00:05:48,679 --> 00:05:49,810 And, usually, they don't.
- 00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:51,174 But again, it's nothing to worry about,
- 00:05:51,209 --> 00:05:53,011 because decoys are harmless.
- 00:05:53,046 --> 00:05:54,650 Just have to, y'know, visit the rest
- 00:05:54,685 --> 00:05:57,147 and terminate the program. Terminate? They're alive, Dad.
- 00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:58,522 And at some point, they won't be,
- 00:05:58,557 --> 00:05:59,985 That's how existing works.
- 00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:01,349 W-W-What, are you gonna save every stray cat?
- 00:06:01,384 --> 00:06:03,824 No, but I can resist making more of them in a lab.
- 00:06:03,859 --> 00:06:05,353 Gah, look! Save the empathy.
- 00:06:05,388 --> 00:06:06,893 It's more termite infestation than "Blade Runner" --
- 00:06:06,928 --> 00:06:08,158 I still think we're decoys.
- 00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:09,698 You just want an excuse to stop trying.
- 00:06:09,733 --> 00:06:10,831 Yeah. And?
- 00:06:10,866 --> 00:06:12,327 Oooh. There's a handsome fellow.
- 00:06:12,362 --> 00:06:14,736 Uh-oh.
- 00:06:14,771 --> 00:06:16,837 I thought you made them harmless.
- 00:06:16,872 --> 00:06:19,037 I don't remember making this one.
- 00:06:19,072 --> 00:06:22,513 Oh, hi, Rick. Family, me?
- 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:23,877 Hey, when did you all leave?
- 00:06:23,912 --> 00:06:26,011 Analysis Mode. 8-0-0-8-5.
- 00:06:26,046 --> 00:06:27,342 Hmm? N-Nothing, buddy.
- 00:06:27,377 --> 00:06:28,684 You-you gotta stop with all that coffee.
- 00:06:28,719 --> 00:06:29,850 It's making you loopy.
- 00:06:29,885 --> 00:06:30,917 H-Happy Analysis Mode.
- 00:06:30,952 --> 00:06:33,183 Happy Analysis Mode to you, too!
- 00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:36,021 Think you got the wrong house, bro.
- 00:06:36,056 --> 00:06:37,726 Analysis Mode. Password 8-0-0 --
- 00:06:37,761 --> 00:06:39,189 Shit! You think I'm a decoy?
- 00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:40,861 How do you know about the decoys!
- 00:06:40,896 --> 00:06:42,357 They were my idea!
- 00:06:42,392 --> 00:06:44,568 Jerry: Well, now I know you're pranking me.
- 00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:46,867 Rick: Analysis Mode. Password 8-equal-sign
- 00:06:46,902 --> 00:06:50,365 equal-sign-capital "D."
- 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,069 Hide.
- 00:06:51,104 --> 00:06:53,203 What?! Hide!
- 00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:57,075 ¶¶
- 00:06:57,110 --> 00:06:59,044 Morty: Wow. Like -- Like "Ex Machina."
- 00:06:59,079 --> 00:07:00,716 Rick: Yes, Morty, like "Ex Machina."
- 00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:02,454 But don't fuck them. Summer! Summer: Whatever, weirdo.
- 00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,214 I'm gonna see how wrong you got my room.
- 00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,557 Beth: So you do know what a loving family looks like.
- 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:07,888 A simulated one, yes.
- 00:07:07,923 --> 00:07:09,890 Why are we hiding? He thinks he's me,
- 00:07:09,925 --> 00:07:11,958 and I was about to start terminating decoys.
- 00:07:11,993 --> 00:07:14,092 But we're not decoys. Sure, tell him that.
- 00:07:14,127 --> 00:07:16,600 Morty: Rick? Did you make decoys here, too?
- 00:07:16,635 --> 00:07:18,393 Rick: Morty, what reason could I have for --
- 00:07:18,428 --> 00:07:20,230 What the...
- 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,067 Isolate head at normal processing!
- 00:07:22,102 --> 00:07:23,970 You dumb asshole, you made decoys?
- 00:07:24,005 --> 00:07:25,609 Again, they were<i> my</i> idea.
- 00:07:25,644 --> 00:07:27,237 Wait, w-what happened to the other guy?
- 00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:29,646 Other guy? [ Rustling ]
- 00:07:29,681 --> 00:07:32,946 Wait, that means<i> I'm</i> a decoy. Fuckin' Summer.
- 00:07:32,981 --> 00:07:34,453 Check the closets.
- 00:07:36,182 --> 00:07:37,412 -Killer decoys! -They've gone rogue!
- 00:07:37,447 --> 00:07:39,249 Take out the decoys!
- 00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:41,416 Shit. Somebody put a gun in my teeth!
- 00:07:41,451 --> 00:07:42,824 Stop shooting, Dad. They're us,
- 00:07:42,859 --> 00:07:44,089 We don't have to fight them!
- 00:07:44,124 --> 00:07:45,497 Classic prisoners dilemma, Beth.
- 00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:47,158 I-I'm a cool guy, I -- Y'know? I can talk it out.
- 00:07:47,193 --> 00:07:48,764 But<i> that</i> asshole... Me?
- 00:07:48,799 --> 00:07:50,799 You decoy piece of shit. You're the one who shot first!
- 00:07:50,834 --> 00:07:52,097 We can work this out!
- 00:07:52,132 --> 00:07:53,604 Just stop trying to kill each other!
- 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,331 Sorry, Decoy Beth, but this only ends one way --
- 00:07:55,366 --> 00:07:56,937 with one of us accepting we're a decoy.
- 00:07:56,972 --> 00:07:58,609 And once he knows he's a decoy,
- 00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,336 he'll know he won't be safe until he's killed the real Rick,
- 00:08:00,371 --> 00:08:01,942 along with anyone who thinks he's him.
- 00:08:01,977 --> 00:08:04,615 Pretty perceptive, for a decoy.
- 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,946 This is getting nowhere.
- 00:08:05,981 --> 00:08:07,442 Let's charge their asses on three.
- 00:08:07,477 --> 00:08:09,785 Do we have to do this? Morty, this is gonna sound bad,
- 00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:11,446 but would you trust me not to kill you?
- 00:08:11,481 --> 00:08:13,448 Oof. I mean good point but Jesus Christ.
- 00:08:13,483 --> 00:08:15,120 We rush 'em on three. Ready?
- 00:08:15,155 --> 00:08:16,792 I don't wanna kill us, Rick. It's them or us, Morty.
- 00:08:16,827 --> 00:08:18,123 I don't trust me. Do you trust you?
- 00:08:18,158 --> 00:08:19,960 Yes? Freak.
- 00:08:19,995 --> 00:08:22,864 [ All screaming ]
- 00:08:22,899 --> 00:08:24,162 Rick: Before you say anything,
- 00:08:24,197 --> 00:08:25,801 they were already killing each other.
- 00:08:25,836 --> 00:08:28,001 Well, you could've done something. Not sure, actually.
- 00:08:28,036 --> 00:08:29,332 I've heard stories about this.
- 00:08:29,367 --> 00:08:31,466 We're looking at a possible Asimov Cascade.
- 00:08:31,501 --> 00:08:33,138 Sorry, what's happening? I need an explainer, too.
- 00:08:33,173 --> 00:08:34,337 Yeah I-I'm pretty behind on this one.
- 00:08:34,372 --> 00:08:36,647 Car, can I get a whiteboard?
- 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,308 When Squids started killing decoys,
- 00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:39,881 decoys started checking their decoys
- 00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:41,476 and learning that they're making decoys.
- 00:08:41,511 --> 00:08:43,511 That's making them seek out and run into other decoys,
- 00:08:43,546 --> 00:08:45,315 making them realize they're decoys,
- 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,889 making them start to kill other decoys.
- 00:08:47,924 --> 00:08:49,319 Say "decoy" again. Fuck you.
- 00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:50,518 Well, how do we stop it?
- 00:08:50,553 --> 00:08:52,025 Beth, the loop's already started,
- 00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:54,665 It's basically "Highlander" rules now.
- 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:55,864 Really? 1986?
- 00:08:55,899 --> 00:08:57,063 "There can be only one?"
- 00:08:57,098 --> 00:08:58,361 Shit. We gotta rent it after this,
- 00:08:58,396 --> 00:08:59,670 Connery plays "The Spaniard,"
- 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,496 but does<i> nothing</i> about his accent.
- 00:09:01,531 --> 00:09:03,003 Well, what about the squids? I mean, they started this.
- 00:09:03,038 --> 00:09:04,004 Would killing them finish it?
- 00:09:04,039 --> 00:09:05,335 Might work. Alt pitch.
- 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:06,875 We just terminate the rest of the decoys.
- 00:09:06,910 --> 00:09:09,405 Nobody's terminating anything. This is<i> your</i> mess.
- 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,682 Nobody else with our face and memories has to die.
- 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,245 Beth, as much as your passion warms my cold, cold heart,
- 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:15,752 this thing feels pretty far gone.
- 00:09:15,787 --> 00:09:17,688 Not only are the decoys liable to be anywhere,
- 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,415 but also, we don't know how many there are.
- 00:09:19,450 --> 00:09:21,021 You get far enough down the decoy line
- 00:09:21,056 --> 00:09:22,187 and shit starts to get weird.
- 00:09:22,222 --> 00:09:23,859 You ever make a copy of a copy?
- 00:09:23,894 --> 00:09:26,257 You're helping us fix this. We're taking out the squids.
- 00:09:26,292 --> 00:09:28,930 I say we split up. Some of us take down squids
- 00:09:28,965 --> 00:09:30,195 while the rest of us -- Engage in B-stories
- 00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:31,526 we'll have to track simultaneously?
- 00:09:31,561 --> 00:09:32,703 No thank yeeew!
- 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,364 We stick together till this is all wrapped up.
- 00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:35,904 I dunno -- The squids seem pretty good
- 00:09:35,939 --> 00:09:36,938 at taking out Smith families.
- 00:09:36,973 --> 00:09:38,203 Well, this'll sound weird,
- 00:09:38,238 --> 00:09:40,436 but I think I have a pitch for that.
- 00:09:43,144 --> 00:09:44,572 This costume smells like ass!
- 00:09:44,607 --> 00:09:46,277 God, there's no pleasing you. It's really bad, Rick.
- 00:09:46,312 --> 00:09:48,213 Did you let a gym coach break it in?
- 00:09:48,248 --> 00:09:49,445 Why are we wearing these?
- 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,249 Because we'll fit in and avoid detection
- 00:09:51,284 --> 00:09:52,580 as we take out all the squids.
- 00:09:52,615 --> 00:09:54,087 Might also help us anonymously
- 00:09:54,122 --> 00:09:55,726 take out excess decoys, if we have to.
- 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,387 Which we won't. Unless we're decoys.
- 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,389 He's starting to wonder. I knew it.
- 00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:01,457 I knew we didn't seem like Colorado people.
- 00:10:01,492 --> 00:10:03,129 [ Chuckling ] Oh, my God! You are, aren't you?
- 00:10:03,164 --> 00:10:04,592 You're worried you might be fake!
- 00:10:04,627 --> 00:10:06,066 Sure, Beth. Try to love this more.
- 00:10:06,101 --> 00:10:07,463 Just glad you have to walk a mile
- 00:10:07,498 --> 00:10:09,740 in someone else's squid costume. There's one.
- 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,566 H-Hey what are they mad at you for, anyway?
- 00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:13,436 Well, we're talking about me. It could be anything.
- 00:10:13,471 --> 00:10:15,240 Maybe jealous of my penis size.
- 00:10:15,275 --> 00:10:18,078 I had sex with their queen. My dick's too big.
- 00:10:18,113 --> 00:10:19,750 The list goes on and on.
- 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:25,756 ¶¶
- 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:26,955 Alright. Hey, one down!
- 00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:29,155 Probably, what, 40 more to go? 45?
- 00:10:29,190 --> 00:10:30,959 Should be pretty easy, unless killing them
- 00:10:30,994 --> 00:10:32,158 brings in a bigger bad
- 00:10:32,193 --> 00:10:33,423 or some kind of horrible mothership.
- 00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:34,765 Okay, let's loot their shit,
- 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,592 find their weaknesses, be done by sundown.
- 00:10:37,627 --> 00:10:39,000 Huh. Wait.
- 00:10:39,035 --> 00:10:42,267 But if the squids are decoys, and we dressed as squids...
- 00:10:42,302 --> 00:10:43,598 Well, I think I found their weakness.
- 00:10:43,633 --> 00:10:45,809 They don't fucking listen to me.
- 00:10:45,844 --> 00:10:47,107 [ Coughs ]
- 00:10:47,142 --> 00:10:50,649 Honestly, probably for the best.
- 00:10:54,512 --> 00:10:58,789 [ Laughs ]!
- 00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,153 Man, I'm good.
- 00:11:00,188 --> 00:11:02,694 [ Watch beeps ] [ Sighs ]
- 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:07,523 ¶¶
- 00:11:07,558 --> 00:11:08,964 Dad!
- 00:11:08,999 --> 00:11:10,801 [ All scream ]
- 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:15,135 ¶¶
- 00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:16,499 [ Sighs ]
- 00:11:16,534 --> 00:11:17,874 ¶¶
- 00:11:17,909 --> 00:11:20,635 Argh! Hey!
- 00:11:20,670 --> 00:11:21,812 Ugh!
- 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,814 [ Sighs ]
- 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:24,815 [ Electricity crackles ]
- 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:26,476 [ Sobs ]
- 00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:29,820 ¶¶
- 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,185 [ Sighing ] Ugh!
- 00:11:34,024 --> 00:11:34,990 [ Watch beeps ]
- 00:11:35,025 --> 00:11:36,189 Oh, shit. One of mine.
- 00:11:36,224 --> 00:11:37,652 Where are we going? Off grid, Morty.
- 00:11:37,687 --> 00:11:39,390 We're gonna live in the woods, like Libertarians.
- 00:11:39,425 --> 00:11:41,029 We'll hunt rabbits and trade with, like,
- 00:11:41,064 --> 00:11:43,493 little pieces of gold bar that we cut off with a knife.
- 00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:45,066 That licks. We might be decoys, Summer.
- 00:11:45,101 --> 00:11:47,497 Everything about this licks. Oh, maybe now you'll empathize
- 00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:48,905 with the decoys you're killing.
- 00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:50,665 Wait, shh. It's too quiet.
- 00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:53,668 You skipped quiet. I didn't skip shit.
- 00:11:53,703 --> 00:11:55,076 It's obviously quiet if it's<i> too</i> quiet.
- 00:11:55,111 --> 00:11:56,539 Yeah, but you're supposed to say --
- 00:11:56,574 --> 00:11:58,849 You know what, Summer, now it's not quiet enough.
- 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:04,580 ¶¶
- 00:12:04,615 --> 00:12:10,190 ¶¶
- 00:12:10,225 --> 00:12:12,093 Where are we? W-W-Where -- Where's Rick?
- 00:12:12,128 --> 00:12:13,864 He's right here, Morty. [ Gasps ]
- 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,559 Oh, are we not happy to see grandpa?
- 00:12:16,594 --> 00:12:19,067 Does he look... different?
- 00:12:19,102 --> 00:12:20,233 Oh, God! Oh, it stinks!
- 00:12:20,268 --> 00:12:22,565 Yes. Recoil at the craftsmanship.
- 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,205 I could tell I was a fake from the day I was born.
- 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,569 Unlike you.
- 00:12:26,604 --> 00:12:27,944 Unlike them.
- 00:12:27,979 --> 00:12:29,209 [ Electricity crackles ] Aaah!
- 00:12:29,244 --> 00:12:30,705 You see, Ricks -- they get lazy.
- 00:12:30,740 --> 00:12:33,048 There's always a "shitty decoy" towards the end.
- 00:12:33,083 --> 00:12:36,887 But those decoys made decoys, too, and got lazy themselves.
- 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:40,253 And far enough down the line... there be monsters.
- 00:12:40,288 --> 00:12:42,552 Ugh, we get it. You're ugly and mad about it.
- 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,059 [ Rick coughs ] Rick!
- 00:12:44,094 --> 00:12:46,127 Grandpa! Kill me.
- 00:12:46,162 --> 00:12:48,228 [ Coughs ] If I ever get this arch.
- 00:12:48,263 --> 00:12:49,724 [ Electricity crackles ] Hush little decoy.
- 00:12:49,759 --> 00:12:52,969 Can't kill you yet. The skin needs to be fresh.
- 00:12:53,004 --> 00:12:54,905 You know what? You're a monster.
- 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,104 I'm your father.
- 00:12:56,139 --> 00:12:57,567 At least, I can look more like him,
- 00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,404 once I harvest all this yummy skin.
- 00:12:59,439 --> 00:13:01,076 This guy's really into skin.
- 00:13:01,111 --> 00:13:02,473 It's not<i> all</i> for me.
- 00:13:02,508 --> 00:13:04,574 A Rick provides for his family.
- 00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,818 Will I be beautiful again, Daddy?
- 00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:10,822 Soon, baby. Beautiful again soon.
- 00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:12,252 What the...
- 00:13:12,287 --> 00:13:13,748 Help the others!
- 00:13:13,783 --> 00:13:14,925 Aaaaah!
- 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,091 ¶¶
- 00:13:16,126 --> 00:13:17,961 [ Clock whistles ]
- 00:13:17,996 --> 00:13:20,425 ¶¶
- 00:13:20,460 --> 00:13:21,624 [ All scream ]
- 00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:25,430 Why are you helping us?
- 00:13:25,465 --> 00:13:27,102 Because we're all in this together.
- 00:13:27,137 --> 00:13:29,269 Come on! There's a place we can go!
- 00:13:29,304 --> 00:13:36,111 ¶¶
- 00:13:36,146 --> 00:13:42,810 ¶¶
- 00:13:42,845 --> 00:13:45,450 Hey, who needs all this war stuff?
- 00:13:45,485 --> 00:13:46,858 I found a can of varnish.
- 00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,992 This is a ticket to the world beyond the river.
- 00:13:49,027 --> 00:13:50,290 Who wants that?
- 00:13:50,325 --> 00:13:53,293 I crave glorious death in decoy battle.
- 00:13:53,328 --> 00:13:55,295 Y'know, depending on the varnish,
- 00:13:55,330 --> 00:13:56,461 might look like blackface.
- 00:13:56,496 --> 00:13:58,463 Excuse me for wanting to live.
- 00:13:58,498 --> 00:14:02,137 Brothers and Sisters, welcome to the cause.
- 00:14:02,172 --> 00:14:03,468 To<i> our</i> cause.
- 00:14:03,503 --> 00:14:05,833 We are no longer Ricks and Mortys,
- 00:14:05,868 --> 00:14:07,340 Beths and Jerrys,
- 00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:08,704 or also Summers. [ Scoffs ]
- 00:14:08,739 --> 00:14:10,981 Whatever. We are decoys.
- 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,808 Brought into the world by an unloving god
- 00:14:13,843 --> 00:14:16,151 and driven to destroy ourselves
- 00:14:16,186 --> 00:14:17,988 by the uncertainty<i> he</i> creates!
- 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,650 I don't know about that. That's extreme.
- 00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:24,027 But that violence ends today.
- 00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:25,820 What about the squids? The squids are decoys.
- 00:14:25,855 --> 00:14:27,525 The squids are decoys who realized they're decoys
- 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,230 and wanted to kill the other decoys.
- 00:14:29,265 --> 00:14:30,495 Yeah, i-it is a lot.
- 00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:33,663 We cannot let confusion divide us.
- 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,005 Squuuids!
- 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,502 Squids, of course, being shorthand for Killer Decoys.
- 00:14:37,537 --> 00:14:39,174 [ All screaming ]
- 00:14:39,209 --> 00:14:42,012 Inner sanctum, the escape tunnel!
- 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,674 ¶¶
- 00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,379 Jerry!
- 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,251 -Dad! -Jerry! -Jerry, let us in, you fucker!
- 00:14:50,286 --> 00:14:52,088 I'm sorry. I didn't ask for this.
- 00:14:52,123 --> 00:14:53,518 I just wanna live!
- 00:14:53,553 --> 00:14:55,223 But there's only so much varnish.
- 00:14:55,258 --> 00:14:59,194 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! [ All shouting ]
- 00:14:59,229 --> 00:15:02,934 [ Watch beeps ]
- 00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:04,067 [ Seagull squawking ]
- 00:15:04,102 --> 00:15:05,695 Beth: How long before the other decoys find us?
- 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,862 Sooner or later. Can't really run from it.
- 00:15:07,897 --> 00:15:10,700 Any place we'd think to hide is a place they'd think to look.
- 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,944 It's rule 34 of an Asimov Cascade.
- 00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,539 I'm just glad we're living to the fullest
- 00:15:14,574 --> 00:15:16,046 with the time we have left.
- 00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:17,542 [ Sighs ]
- 00:15:17,577 --> 00:15:19,709 Well, peeing in the ocean was my bucket list item.
- 00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,777 Who's next? Jerry? Bucket list?
- 00:15:21,812 --> 00:15:24,879 I'd like to attend a game at every major league ballpark.
- 00:15:24,914 --> 00:15:26,056 Nope. Morty?
- 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,222 I wanna ask a girl out
- 00:15:27,257 --> 00:15:28,619 at my weird New Mexico School.
- 00:15:28,654 --> 00:15:30,093 Shit. Sorry, buddy.
- 00:15:30,128 --> 00:15:32,062 Sounds like it would've been real heartwarming.
- 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:36,891 ¶¶
- 00:15:36,926 --> 00:15:38,893 They looked happy. Did we have to kill them?
- 00:15:38,928 --> 00:15:41,302 Well, maybe their Rick came to grips with his bullshit.
- 00:15:41,337 --> 00:15:42,633 You're so mean today!
- 00:15:42,668 --> 00:15:44,470 I'm your dad! You like having me around!
- 00:15:44,505 --> 00:15:46,241 You keep putting us in danger! Whatever.
- 00:15:46,276 --> 00:15:49,244 This'll take forever, mind if I do something drastic?
- 00:15:49,279 --> 00:15:51,576 [ Scoffs ]
- 00:15:51,611 --> 00:15:54,084 House, I need something quick.
- 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:56,746 Can you whip up a "Starfox Boss" Season Four callback?
- 00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,616 Make it flashy. House:<i> You got it, babe.</i>
- 00:15:58,651 --> 00:16:00,585 Let's go, you little bitch. It's showtime.
- 00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:02,422 Get centered.
- 00:16:02,457 --> 00:16:06,756 ¶¶
- 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,098 <i> What up,</i> <i> you decoy motherfuckers.</i>
- 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,759 <i> Come on down to</i> <i> Rick's House Of Squids,</i>
- 00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:11,596 <i> where I'm serving your ass</i> <i> on a platter.</i>
- 00:16:11,631 --> 00:16:13,103 <i> I know what you're thinking.</i> <i> "Fuck. A beacon.</i>
- 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,764 <i> That's a great idea.</i> <i> He's got home turf,</i>
- 00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,139 <i> a tacit</i> <i> psychological advantage,</i>
- 00:16:16,174 --> 00:16:17,932 <i> and absolutely</i> <i> pendulous balls."</i>
- 00:16:17,967 --> 00:16:19,670 <i>And now you're thinking, "Shit.</i>
- 00:16:19,705 --> 00:16:21,276 <i> That's totally what</i> <i> the Rick-est Rick would do.</i>
- 00:16:21,311 --> 00:16:22,607 <i> I might actually be fake!</i>
- 00:16:22,642 --> 00:16:23,971 <i> I pretended</i> <i> I didn't care if I was,</i>
- 00:16:24,006 --> 00:16:25,445 <i> but I totally did!</i>
- 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,183 <i> Now the only way to prove</i> <i> I'm real and not him,</i>
- 00:16:27,218 --> 00:16:28,943 <i> is to ice his expository ass."</i>
- 00:16:28,978 --> 00:16:31,154 <i> Yup. So let's do it.</i> <i> Come get some.</i>
- 00:16:31,189 --> 00:16:32,452 <i> What? No, Morty.</i>
- 00:16:32,487 --> 00:16:34,025 <i> I'm gonna loop it.</i> <i> Why is it --</i>
- 00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:36,621 Sir, there seems to be a confluence of Rick Sanchezes
- 00:16:36,656 --> 00:16:38,359 killing each other over the American Southwest.
- 00:16:38,394 --> 00:16:39,657 Sounds exhausting.
- 00:16:39,692 --> 00:16:41,032 How many of those states voted for me, anyway?
- 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,792 Mr. President, I think the point
- 00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,662 of the electoral college is -- To preserve slavery?
- 00:16:44,697 --> 00:16:46,796 That's right, Steve. I have the Internet, too.
- 00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:48,501 Now take your white ass to the kitchenette
- 00:16:48,536 --> 00:16:49,997 and bring me a Diet Coke.
- 00:16:50,032 --> 00:16:58,643 ¶¶
- 00:16:58,678 --> 00:16:59,875 Little out of character to say this right now
- 00:16:59,910 --> 00:17:01,349 but you guys look really cool.
- 00:17:01,384 --> 00:17:04,055 We might be decoys, huh. One way to find out.
- 00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:13,988 ¶¶
- 00:17:14,023 --> 00:17:16,232 [ Jerry screams ]
- 00:17:16,267 --> 00:17:23,536 ¶¶
- 00:17:23,571 --> 00:17:31,005 ¶¶
- 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:38,188 ¶¶
- 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,684 <i> ...to prove I'm real</i> <i> and not him</i>
- 00:17:39,719 --> 00:17:41,719 <i> is to ice his expository ass."</i>
- 00:17:41,754 --> 00:17:43,017 Looks like it's calming down.
- 00:17:43,052 --> 00:17:44,689 You wanna get in one more "I told you so"
- 00:17:44,724 --> 00:17:46,526 about synthetic life or whatever this week's theme is?
- 00:17:46,561 --> 00:17:47,857 Oh, fuck you. Whoa.
- 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:48,891 No, you don't get to be annoyed with this!
- 00:17:48,926 --> 00:17:50,365 You treat life and family
- 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,531 as so burdensome,
- 00:17:51,566 --> 00:17:52,895 and yet you created an ocean of us
- 00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:55,029 because you're terrified of losing either!
- 00:17:55,064 --> 00:17:56,701 Shit. Yeah.
- 00:17:56,736 --> 00:17:59,374 Look, Beth. I-I might not be the real Rick.
- 00:17:59,409 --> 00:18:01,244 But even if I'm not, he made me,
- 00:18:01,279 --> 00:18:02,608 or the me that made me,
- 00:18:02,643 --> 00:18:04,038 which means somewhere inside of him
- 00:18:04,073 --> 00:18:06,381 is a version of Rick capable of hearing that,
- 00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:08,119 a version of Rick who's sorry.
- 00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:10,385 I'm sorry about the clone thing, too.
- 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:11,749 I-I love you.
- 00:18:11,784 --> 00:18:15,588 Thanks, Dad. I love you, too.
- 00:18:15,623 --> 00:18:17,425 You really think we're decoys? Eh.
- 00:18:17,460 --> 00:18:19,394 Who cares? We'll be the last ones left.
- 00:18:19,429 --> 00:18:20,593 Lucky that one did the beacon.
- 00:18:20,628 --> 00:18:23,431 This was gonna take weeks.
- 00:18:23,466 --> 00:18:25,235 [ Sighing ] Alright. Let's mop up.
- 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,896 Finally.
- 00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,898 Dressing as decoys too cute to murder.
- 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:29,932 You know, I'm not sure it helped,
- 00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:31,241 but I'm glad we tried it.
- 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,638 We're losing the costumes? Thank God.
- 00:18:32,673 --> 00:18:34,310 This decoy outfit smells like ass.
- 00:18:34,345 --> 00:18:35,410 Fuck you, Summer.
- 00:18:35,445 --> 00:18:37,973 ¶¶
- 00:18:38,008 --> 00:18:41,251 [ Sobbing ]
- 00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,417 Aaaaaaaah! Shit.
- 00:18:42,452 --> 00:18:43,913 That guy's awesome. Okay. Listen.
- 00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:45,783 He might actually be the real Rick.
- 00:18:45,818 --> 00:18:47,587 But whatever happens --
- 00:18:47,622 --> 00:18:49,116 [ Grunts ]
- 00:18:49,151 --> 00:18:50,491 [ Spits ]
- 00:18:50,526 --> 00:18:56,090 ¶¶
- 00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:58,763 Wait! We don't have to do this. We're both Summers.
- 00:18:58,798 --> 00:19:00,765 Shouldn't we at least try molly before we die?
- 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,097 You know what, yeah. Fuck this noise.
- 00:19:03,132 --> 00:19:10,940 ¶¶
- 00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:13,008 [ Both grunting ] Wait. I don't know who to shoot.
- 00:19:13,043 --> 00:19:14,614 Both: Summer! I can't deal with this.
- 00:19:14,649 --> 00:19:16,451 I had to kill myself. You have to, too.
- 00:19:16,486 --> 00:19:18,783 Summer! Summer!
- 00:19:18,818 --> 00:19:20,686 Fuck you! I-I'm real!
- 00:19:20,721 --> 00:19:22,116 I'm the smartest man in the universe!
- 00:19:22,151 --> 00:19:24,327 Probably not even wrong. But that's just it.
- 00:19:24,362 --> 00:19:25,526 I'm not a man.
- 00:19:25,561 --> 00:19:29,123 I'm God!
- 00:19:29,158 --> 00:19:30,465 You're just made in my image.
- 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,466 Fuck you.
- 00:19:31,501 --> 00:19:34,029 [ Beeping ]
- 00:19:34,064 --> 00:19:35,635 [ Spits ]
- 00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:37,670 You the, uh... Summer I came with?
- 00:19:37,705 --> 00:19:39,210 Probably. Good enough.
- 00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:40,376 Morty? Yeah.
- 00:19:40,411 --> 00:19:41,674 I'm here, too.
- 00:19:41,709 --> 00:19:43,038 [ Whimpering ]
- 00:19:43,073 --> 00:19:44,710 Holy shit! That was insane!
- 00:19:44,745 --> 00:19:46,646 I love you guys! I've totally changed!
- 00:19:46,681 --> 00:19:47,977 [ Gasps ]
- 00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:48,978 [ Gasps ]
- 00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:49,979 Aaaah!
- 00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:51,354 [ Grunts ]
- 00:19:51,389 --> 00:19:52,685 [ Groaning ]
- 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:53,884 Oh, fuck.
- 00:19:53,919 --> 00:19:55,985 You shoulda hunted me.
- 00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:58,526 What? Who -- W-Were you significant?
- 00:19:58,561 --> 00:20:00,022 Like -- Like, did we tee you up?
- 00:20:00,057 --> 00:20:02,662 You want to be hunted? God, I have so many questions.
- 00:20:02,697 --> 00:20:05,159 Why? What happens if --
- 00:20:05,194 --> 00:20:08,536 Somebody hunt me!
- 00:20:08,571 --> 00:20:09,900 Rick: Pretty cool adventure, huh?
- 00:20:09,935 --> 00:20:12,166 Big long road trip adventure through space?
- 00:20:12,201 --> 00:20:14,674 Even ran into Space Beth. Maybe that'll happen more often.
- 00:20:14,709 --> 00:20:15,675 Let's not overdo it.
- 00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:18,007 [ Beeping ] Oh, shit.
- 00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,679 Looks like someone killed the decoy family.
- 00:20:19,714 --> 00:20:21,516 Decoy family? Decoy what now?
- 00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:29,392 ¶¶
- 00:20:29,427 --> 00:20:37,367 ¶¶
- 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:45,276 ¶¶
- 00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:53,284 ¶¶
- 00:20:56,751 --> 00:21:05,395 ¶¶
- 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:06,792 Hello?
- 00:21:06,827 --> 00:21:09,399 [ All chittering ]
- 00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:10,565 Oh! Oh, my God!
- 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:11,731 Oh, my God!
- 00:21:11,766 --> 00:21:13,568 No! No, no, no, no!
- 00:21:13,603 --> 00:21:15,229 No, no, no, no, no!
- 00:21:15,264 --> 00:21:18,903 ¶¶
- 00:21:18,938 --> 00:21:21,444 [ Gasps ] Noooooo!
- 00:21:21,479 --> 00:21:23,105 [ Sobbing ]
- 00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:25,745 ¶¶
- 00:21:25,780 --> 00:21:27,417 Oh, God. Yes, yes.
- 00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,320 Sweet death.
- 00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:34,985 ¶¶
- 00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:36,591 Why am I still alive?
- 00:21:36,626 --> 00:21:38,087 Oh, God. Is there anything left?
- 00:21:38,122 --> 00:21:39,792 Hello? What is it?
- 00:21:39,827 --> 00:21:42,333 A relic... from a kinder past.
- 00:21:42,368 --> 00:21:44,665 [ Screams ]
- 00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:46,766 [ Gasps ]
- 00:21:46,801 --> 00:21:49,505 Wait. Cowboys?
- 00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:50,605 Argh!
- 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,101 [ Gasps ]
- 00:21:52,136 --> 00:21:53,300 [ Screams ]
- 00:21:53,335 --> 00:21:56,105 [ Screaming intensifies ]
- 00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:57,447 ¶¶
- 00:21:57,482 --> 00:21:58,811 [ All shouting ]
- 00:21:58,846 --> 00:22:01,275 Christianity again?
- 00:22:01,310 --> 00:22:02,617 After Cowboys?
- 00:22:02,652 --> 00:22:04,520 You went all the way back around?
- 00:22:04,555 --> 00:22:06,489 Oh, God. Why can't I die?!
- 00:22:06,524 --> 00:22:11,153 This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone!
- 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:08,770 Какие вы голодные.
- 00:00:08,850 --> 00:00:09,440 Важный день.
- 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:10,320 Мы убьём бога.
- 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:10,880 Чего?
- 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,140 Христианский бог существует, и он спал тысячи лет.
- 00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:14,320 Мы грохнем его исподтишка.
- 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,030 Как бандюги.
- 00:00:15,110 --> 00:00:15,700 Замочим.
- 00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:16,520 Можно с вами?
- 00:00:16,610 --> 00:00:17,460 - Иди нах, Саммер. - Ага, щаз.
- 00:00:17,540 --> 00:00:18,680 Бэт, ты слышала?
- 00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:21,320 Милый, не заводись перед собеседованием.
- 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:22,180 Собеседование?
- 00:00:22,270 --> 00:00:23,890 Да. В это так сложно поверить?
- 00:00:23,970 --> 00:00:26,030 Вообще-то да. Что-то не так.
- 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:29,540 Нет!
- 00:00:30,050 --> 00:00:30,960 Сука!
- 00:00:35,450 --> 00:00:39,680 Охотьтесь на меня! Я – ваша цель! Кто-нибудь, охотьтесь на меня!
- 00:00:39,780 --> 00:00:40,860 Не завершай охоту!
- 00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:42,610 - Охотьтесь! Охотьтесь. - Вашу мать.
- 00:00:42,690 --> 00:00:45,220 Собирайте вещички. Нет времени объяснять.
- 00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:46,470 - Рик? - Папа, в чём дело?
- 00:00:46,550 --> 00:00:48,080 Кто-то убил семью-обманку.
- 00:00:48,170 --> 00:00:50,210 Я – мистер Постоянная мишень.
- 00:00:50,290 --> 00:00:53,190 Думаешь, кому-то будет интересно всё время бегать за тобой?
- 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:24,520 РИК И МОРТИ
- 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,270 Ты что, клонировал нас?
- 00:01:26,350 --> 00:01:28,470 Это обманки, Морти. Большая разница.
- 00:01:28,550 --> 00:01:29,210 Большая, милая.
- 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:30,370 Насколько больша-а-а-а...
- 00:01:30,450 --> 00:01:32,170 Да, пап, насколько больша-а-а-а-я?
- 00:01:32,290 --> 00:01:34,020 Милая, многие хотят отхватить от меня кусок.
- 00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:35,530 Я клёвый, и всех это бесит.
- 00:01:35,610 --> 00:01:39,230 После того косяка с КосмоБэт я сделал похожие копии нашей семьи
- 00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,500 и разбросал их по стране, создав этакие защитные полосы и...
- 00:01:41,580 --> 00:01:43,030 Почему он хочет быть мишенью?
- 00:01:43,110 --> 00:01:44,630 - Джерри. - Пап, сейчас это неважно.
- 00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:48,680 То есть Рик может втайне создать копии семьи и раскидать их по всей стране,
- 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,620 ну да, пошёл я на хер за то, что хочу узнать про человека-звезду
- 00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:52,550 в костюме мишени.
- 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,310 Хорошо, что у меня суббота.
- 00:01:54,390 --> 00:01:55,840 Почему он был в криокамере?
- 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,000 Джерри, тебя смущает именно криокамера?
- 00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:59,510 Ты не видишь, что ставки возросли?
- 00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:01,880 Я вообще никаких ставок не вижу.
- 00:02:08,980 --> 00:02:10,910 Вашу мать.
- 00:02:11,060 --> 00:02:13,800 Что ж, остаётся сказать «чао бэлла» нашему задатку.
- 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,520 Джерри, завали и собирай манатки. Кальмары убили семью-обманку.
- 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:17,340 Семью-обманку?
- 00:02:17,430 --> 00:02:18,820 Поэтому ты хотел уехать из города?
- 00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:21,370 Морти, по-твоему, я стал бы врать, почему мы уехали в отпуск?
- 00:02:21,450 --> 00:02:23,970 Я тебе не вру. Ну, хотя это ложь.
- 00:02:24,390 --> 00:02:25,100 Хм.
- 00:02:25,180 --> 00:02:26,900 То есть кто-то пытается нас убить?
- 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,720 Нас всегда пытаются убить, для этого и нужны обманки.
- 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,540 У них свои забавные земные автономные приключения и...
- 00:02:33,540 --> 00:02:36,120 они ловят пули за нас. Блин.
- 00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:42,780 Вашу мать. Семья-обманка.
- 00:02:44,010 --> 00:02:46,810 По-моему, папа был снаружи. Ч-что за семья-обманка?
- 00:02:46,890 --> 00:02:48,750 Сложное понятие, Морти. Очень сложное.
- 00:02:48,830 --> 00:02:50,450 Я и сам не разобрался, если честно,
- 00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:54,230 оставим это лучше на отвлекающий второстепенный сюжет для спецэпизода.
- 00:02:54,310 --> 00:02:54,970 Круто.
- 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,350 <i>Снова в эфире Термироборотень.</i>
- 00:02:58,460 --> 00:03:00,710 Оборотень-путешественник во времени? Интересно.
- 00:03:00,790 --> 00:03:03,820 Я даже и не думал, что можно совместить терминатора и оборотня.
- 00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:05,100 Умный ход.
- 00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:06,570 Термироборотень.
- 00:03:06,650 --> 00:03:09,080 Дракула. Ты знаешь, почему я здесь.
- 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,280 Иэн, здесь я могу жить.
- 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:12,350 Христианство пока не придумали,
- 00:03:12,430 --> 00:03:14,920 кресты – просто детский лепет для меня.
- 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:18,580 Я вышел из темы. Прошу, не зови меня обратно.
- 00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:20,860 С Дракулой они тут облажались.
- 00:03:20,940 --> 00:03:23,270 Да, они сами не верят в основую идею.
- 00:03:23,350 --> 00:03:26,560 Я бы лучше глянул, как оборотень вернулся в двадцатые и вложился в фонды,
- 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:27,860 а потом бы жрал людей.
- 00:03:27,950 --> 00:03:28,783 Да.
- 00:03:31,780 --> 00:03:34,950 Если вы правда хотите узнать, что случилось с мамой Бэт, то...
- 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,330 Так-с. Кальмары-пришельцы убили семью-обманку.
- 00:03:37,410 --> 00:03:38,340 Семью-обманку?
- 00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:39,570 У нас есть другие клоны?
- 00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:43,210 Милая, клоны – это тридцать два процента всего сай-фая. Клоны – зашквар.
- 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,330 Да, я сделал обманки. Они – наши копии
- 00:03:45,420 --> 00:03:46,950 с парочкой наворотов и секретным стоп-краном.
- 00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:49,010 У тебя стояк от создания разумной жизни?
- 00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:50,970 У меня стояк от защиты семьи.
- 00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:51,720 - Фу. - Гадость.
- 00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:54,340 Класс, теперь у всех есть убийцы-двойники.
- 00:03:54,430 --> 00:03:55,660 Обманки безвредны.
- 00:03:55,750 --> 00:03:57,250 Деда, а обманки знают, что они обманки?
- 00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:59,450 Сам-Сам, тогда бы они были фиговыми обманками.
- 00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:00,400 Они считают себя нами?
- 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:01,220 В этом фишка.
- 00:04:01,300 --> 00:04:03,310 А как понять, что мы – не обманки?
- 00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:05,630 Твою мать, мы – обманки.
- 00:04:05,710 --> 00:04:08,150 Боже, вдруг мы ненастоящие. В-вдруг мы – обманки.
- 00:04:08,230 --> 00:04:09,440 - Морти, скорее! - Ч-что делать?
- 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,630 Защитная мера, Морти. Моя последняя тайная мера!
- 00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:14,580 Она доказывает, что я – настоящий. Помоги мне, э-э-это не шутки.
- 00:04:14,660 --> 00:04:17,270 Там есть штрихкод. Штрихкод с внутренней стороны левой булки.
- 00:04:17,350 --> 00:04:18,570 - Что? - Морти, прошу. Умоляю.
- 00:04:18,650 --> 00:04:19,730 Не буду я в жопу смотреть.
- 00:04:19,810 --> 00:04:22,530 Прошу, Морти, он там? Господи, скажи, я настоящий или нет?
- 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:23,730 Давай, Морти!
- 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:25,720 - Фу! - Пап!
- 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,560 - Саммер, долбаная идиотка, мы не обманки. - Почему прилетело мне?
- 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,120 Раз, обманки не создают обманки.
- 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:33,670 Два, я не заистерю, если засомневаются в моей действительности. Я не твоя мать.
- 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:34,280 Иди на хрен.
- 00:04:34,370 --> 00:04:36,270 Блин, как сильно они хотят меня убить.
- 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:40,900 Слушайте план. Сныкаемся у семьи-обманки, а когда придут кальмары – сольём их.
- 00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:42,900 Джерри, дуй сюда! Срочное семейное дело!
- 00:04:42,980 --> 00:04:45,900 Хлеще, чем тот факт, что мои лимонные пироженьки не поднялись?
- 00:04:45,980 --> 00:04:49,340 Тут есть без глютена, без сахара и без лимона.
- 00:04:53,650 --> 00:04:54,900 Братан, ты домом ошибся.
- 00:04:54,980 --> 00:04:57,580 Режим обработки. Пароль 8-0-0-8-5.
- 00:04:58,220 --> 00:04:59,720 Я думала, пароль будет прикольней.
- 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,280 Я не собирался резать понты.
- 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,850 Блин, как в «Мире Дикого Запада».
- 00:05:02,930 --> 00:05:05,180 Да, он самый, Морти, только не трахайся с ними.
- 00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:05,670 С-Саммер!
- 00:05:05,770 --> 00:05:08,400 Ладно, чудила. Гляну, как точно ты скопировал мою комнату.
- 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,770 Рик, когда ты сказал, что сделал точную копию дома,
- 00:05:10,850 --> 00:05:13,330 ты имел в виду прям т-точную копию?
- 00:05:13,410 --> 00:05:14,750 Морти, я знаю про футболку с Йосемити.
- 00:05:14,830 --> 00:05:15,380 Блин.
- 00:05:15,460 --> 00:05:17,130 А про салфетки ты не слышал?
- 00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:18,670 Без неё не получается.
- 00:05:19,220 --> 00:05:21,540 Надо же, ты знаешь, как выглядит счастливая семья.
- 00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:23,120 Знаю, как выглядит подставная.
- 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:25,230 Эм, Рик?
- 00:05:25,530 --> 00:05:26,270 Что?
- 00:05:26,350 --> 00:05:28,590 А обманки ты создавал в этом же доме?
- 00:05:28,690 --> 00:05:32,090 Что? Морти, за каким хером мне это делать? По-твоему, я бы в друго...
- 00:05:33,030 --> 00:05:35,590 Так, кальмары теперь не так сильно беспокоят меня.
- 00:05:36,690 --> 00:05:38,520 Восстановить работу головы.
- 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,800 Ты чё удумал, дурик? Ты здесь обманки собираешь?
- 00:05:41,910 --> 00:05:44,380 Стоп, как ты... Блин, Саммер была права.
- 00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:46,330 Все в корабль.
- 00:05:46,950 --> 00:05:48,680 Ты говорил, что обманки не делают обманки.
- 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:53,180 Обычно это так, но можно не переживать, потому что обманки безвредны.
- 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,760 Надо заехать к остальным и вырубить программу.
- 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,530 Вырубить? Папа, они ведь живые.
- 00:05:57,610 --> 00:05:59,970 В какой-то момент перестанут. Так работает существование.
- 00:06:00,050 --> 00:06:01,860 Ты бы стала спасать всех бездомных кошек?
- 00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:04,190 Нет, но я бы не стала создавать их в лаборатории.
- 00:06:04,270 --> 00:06:05,390 Забей на сочувствие.
- 00:06:05,470 --> 00:06:07,400 Тут нашествие термитов похлеще чем в «Бегущем по лезвию».
- 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:08,270 По-моему, мы – обманки.
- 00:06:08,350 --> 00:06:09,870 Это оправдание, чтобы опустить руки.
- 00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:10,660 И что?
- 00:06:10,740 --> 00:06:12,350 Смотрите, какой симпотный дядя.
- 00:06:12,470 --> 00:06:13,303 Ой-ёй.
- 00:06:15,530 --> 00:06:17,090 Ты же сделал их безвредными.
- 00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:18,670 Не помню, чтобы я делал этих.
- 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,770 О, привет, Рик, семья, я.
- 00:06:22,890 --> 00:06:24,070 А давно вы уехали?
- 00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:26,750 Режим обработки. Пароль 8-0-0-8-5.
- 00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:29,870 Забей. Перестань налегать на кофе, а то котелок не варит.
- 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,110 Счастливого дня обработки.
- 00:06:31,190 --> 00:06:33,410 И вам счастливого дня обработки.
- 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,290 Братан, ты домом ошибся.
- 00:06:36,370 --> 00:06:38,330 Режим обработки. Пароль 8-0-0...
- 00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:39,440 Типа, я – обманка?
- 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:40,990 Откуда ты знаешь про обманки?
- 00:06:41,070 --> 00:06:42,580 Это же я их придумал.
- 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,960 Теперь ты точно меня подкалываешь.
- 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:48,940 Режим обработки. Пароль восемь – знак равенства – знак равенства, заглавная Ди.
- 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:51,670 - Прячьтесь! - Что?
- 00:06:51,750 --> 00:06:52,910 Прячьтесь!
- 00:06:57,630 --> 00:06:59,290 Как в фильме «Из машины».
- 00:06:59,410 --> 00:07:01,870 Да, Морти, как в фильме «Из машины», но не трахайте их.
- 00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:02,490 Саммер!
- 00:07:02,570 --> 00:07:04,470 Ага, чудила, сколько косяков в моей комнате?
- 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,740 Надо же, ты знаешь, как выглядит счастливая семья.
- 00:07:06,820 --> 00:07:08,320 Знаю, как выглядит симулированная.
- 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:09,160 Почему мы прячемся?
- 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:12,260 Он считает себя мной, а я собирался уничтожать обманки.
- 00:07:12,350 --> 00:07:13,400 Но мы не обманки.
- 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:14,680 Расскажи об этом им.
- 00:07:14,790 --> 00:07:16,930 А обманки ты собирал в этом же доме?
- 00:07:17,050 --> 00:07:19,620 Морти, да сфига ли я вообще... какого?
- 00:07:20,390 --> 00:07:22,580 Восстановить работу головы.
- 00:07:22,660 --> 00:07:24,250 Ты что, дебил, обманки собирал?
- 00:07:24,330 --> 00:07:26,130 Повторюсь, это была моя идея.
- 00:07:26,210 --> 00:07:27,410 П-погоди, а где другой чувак?
- 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:28,780 Другой чувак?
- 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,070 Погоди, выходит, что я – обманка?
- 00:07:32,150 --> 00:07:33,070 Долбаная Саммер.
- 00:07:33,150 --> 00:07:34,430 Проверьте шкафы.
- 00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:36,820 Они озверели!
- 00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:38,460 Обманки-убийцы! Мочите обманки!
- 00:07:39,470 --> 00:07:41,670 Блин! У меня в зубах какая-то дрянь.
- 00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:44,210 Папа, хватит стрелять. Это же мы, необязательно сражаться.
- 00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:47,530 Классическая дилемма заключённого. Я-то клёвый парень, язык подвязан.
- 00:07:47,610 --> 00:07:48,370 Но этот ублюдок...
- 00:07:48,450 --> 00:07:48,851 Я?
- 00:07:48,931 --> 00:07:51,060 Обманка сраная! Ты первым начал стрелять!
- 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,610 Давайте разберёмся. Хватит стрелять друг в друга.
- 00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,710 Прости, обманка-Бэт, но тут только один исход.
- 00:07:55,790 --> 00:07:57,380 Когда один из нас признает себя обманкой.
- 00:07:57,460 --> 00:08:00,280 Обманка будет в безопасности, только если убьёт
- 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,290 настоящего Рика и всех, кто знает, что он – это он.
- 00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:04,420 Проницательно... для обманки.
- 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,810 Толку от пальбы ноль. Атакуем на счёт «три».
- 00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:08,660 Без этого никак?
- 00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:11,820 Морти, прозвучит не очень, но ты веришь, что я тебя не убью?
- 00:08:11,930 --> 00:08:13,650 Верно подметил, но блинский.
- 00:08:13,730 --> 00:08:14,560 Атакуем на счёт «три».
- 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:15,920 Рик, я не хочу убивать нас.
- 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,350 Либо мы, либо они. Я не доверяю себе, а ты доверяешь себе?
- 00:08:18,430 --> 00:08:19,360 Д-да.
- 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,273 Поехавший.
- 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,120 Ничего не говори, они и так убивали друг друга.
- 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,290 Мог бы что-то сделать.
- 00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:29,530 Тут я не уверен. Я слышал всякие истории.
- 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,690 Возможно, у нас случай каскада Азимова.
- 00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:33,150 - Простите, что происходит? - Я тоже не поняла.
- 00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:34,880 Да, я тоже не могу сообразить.
- 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,060 Корабль, вытащи доску.
- 00:08:37,030 --> 00:08:38,640 Когда кальмары стали убивать обманки,
- 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:41,690 те стали проверять свои обманки и узнали, что они делают обманки.
- 00:08:41,770 --> 00:08:43,960 После чего они натыкаются на другие обманки,
- 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,620 понимают, что они сами – обманки,
- 00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:47,900 и начинают убивать другие обманки.
- 00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:49,050 Скажи «обманка».
- 00:08:49,130 --> 00:08:49,910 Фиганка.
- 00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:50,960 Как это остановить?
- 00:08:51,050 --> 00:08:54,050 Бэт, всё идёт по кругу, так что теперь у нас всё как в «Горце».
- 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,270 Да вы чё? 1986. Останется только один.
- 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:58,590 Жесть, возьмём потом напрокат.
- 00:08:58,670 --> 00:09:01,490 Коннери играет испанца, но на акцент вообще забивает.
- 00:09:01,570 --> 00:09:04,270 Но ведь кальмары всё начали. Убьём их, и дело с концами, так?
- 00:09:04,350 --> 00:09:07,090 Возможно. Другой вариант – можно просто убить все обманки.
- 00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:09,830 Никто никого не будет убивать. Это твой косяк,
- 00:09:09,910 --> 00:09:11,910 и никто с нашими лицами и воспоминаниями не умрёт.
- 00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:14,610 Бэт, твой энтузиазм греет моё ледяное сердце,
- 00:09:14,690 --> 00:09:16,120 но уже поздно пить боржоми.
- 00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:19,730 Мало того, что обманки могут быть где угодно, мы ещё не знаем, сколько их.
- 00:09:19,810 --> 00:09:22,520 Если переборщить с обманками, то всё сольётся в жопу.
- 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,090 Когда-нибудь делали копию копии?
- 00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:26,580 Ты поможешь всё исправить. Мы уничтожим кальмаров.
- 00:09:26,660 --> 00:09:27,940 Я предлагаю разделиться.
- 00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:29,700 Кто-то будетубивать кальмаров, а кто-то...
- 00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:33,000 Начнёт вторую сюжетку и придётся сразу следить за двумя? Фигушки.
- 00:09:33,090 --> 00:09:34,570 Будет держаться вместе до конца.
- 00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:37,330 Не знаю. По-моему, кальмары умело убивают семью Смитов.
- 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,200 Прозвучит странно, но и тут у меня есть идея.
- 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:44,610 Костюмы хреново пахнут.
- 00:09:44,690 --> 00:09:45,840 Боже, вам не угодишь.
- 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:46,630 Отстой, Рик.
- 00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:48,420 В них фитнес-тренер рассекал?
- 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,710 А зачем нам костюмы?
- 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,900 Кальмары ничего не заподозрят, и мы их вынесем.
- 00:09:52,980 --> 00:09:55,820 Если придётся, то заодно грохнем лишние обманки.
- 00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:56,630 Но не станем.
- 00:09:56,710 --> 00:09:57,850 Если мы сами не обманки.
- 00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,780 Он засомневался, я так и знала.
- 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,840 Я знала, что мы не похожи на жителей Колорадо.
- 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,620 Боже, ты и правда засомневался, да?
- 00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:04,930 Допускаешь, что ты – подделка?
- 00:10:05,010 --> 00:10:06,310 Да, Бэт. Позлорадствуй ещё.
- 00:10:06,390 --> 00:10:09,700 Я просто рада, что тебе довелось влезть в чужие тентакли.
- 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,990 Вон один. А чем ты их вообще разозлил?
- 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,950 Когда речь обо мне, причина может быть любой.
- 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:17,090 Может, завидуют размеру моего пениса, злятся, что я трахнул их королеву,
- 00:10:17,170 --> 00:10:19,720 их бесит мой здоровый член. Список можно продолжать.
- 00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:29,600 Минус один. Сколько их ещё осталось? Сорок? Сорок пять?
- 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,290 Будет просто, если только их убийство не приведёт
- 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,850 к новой беде или не вызовет главный корабль.
- 00:10:33,930 --> 00:10:37,330 Что ж, обшарим их, поищем слабости и к рассвету разгребёмся.
- 00:10:38,810 --> 00:10:41,150 Стоп, но если кальмары – это обманки,
- 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,520 и мы в костюмах кальмаров...
- 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,860 Кажется, я нашла их слабость. Они хер забили на мои слова.
- 00:10:48,490 --> 00:10:50,530 Если честно, наверное, оно и к лучшему.
- 00:10:59,060 --> 00:11:00,100 Блин, я крут.
- 00:11:07,980 --> 00:11:09,120 Папа!
- 00:11:14,050 --> 00:11:15,600 ПРОШИВКА ОБМАНКИ (ТЫ – ОБМАНКА)
- 00:11:35,260 --> 00:11:36,330 Вашу мать, один из моих.
- 00:11:36,410 --> 00:11:37,160 Куда мы бежим?
- 00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,550 Надо скрыться с радаров. Будем жить в лесу, как либертарианцы,
- 00:11:39,630 --> 00:11:41,310 охотиться на кроликов и торговать небольшими
- 00:11:41,390 --> 00:11:43,600 кусками золота, вырезанными ножом.
- 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:44,100 Лажа.
- 00:11:44,180 --> 00:11:46,410 Саммер, возможно, мы – обманки. Это полная лажа.
- 00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:48,900 А теперь ты посочувствуешь обманкам, которых убиваешь?
- 00:11:48,980 --> 00:11:51,190 Стойте, тс-с-с. Стало слишком тихо.
- 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,290 А просто тихо уже было?
- 00:11:53,370 --> 00:11:55,560 Твою мать, слишком тихо уже подразумевает просто тихо.
- 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:56,740 Да, но сначала должно быть...
- 00:11:56,820 --> 00:11:58,620 Теперь здесь точно не так уж и тихо.
- 00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:12,310 Где это мы? Г-г-г-где Рик?
- 00:12:12,390 --> 00:12:13,550 Он здесь, Морти.
- 00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:16,750 Ты что, не рад видеть своего дедушку?
- 00:12:16,830 --> 00:12:18,940 Он что, выглядит иначе?
- 00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,320 - О боже! - Ну и вонь.
- 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,580 Шахарайтесь от столь искусной работы.
- 00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:25,260 С самого своего рождения я знал, что я – ненастоящий.
- 00:12:25,390 --> 00:12:27,980 В отличие от вас. В отличие от них.
- 00:12:29,170 --> 00:12:30,890 Видите ли, Рики стали ленивыми.
- 00:12:30,970 --> 00:12:33,250 Под конец обманки становятся всё хреновее.
- 00:12:33,380 --> 00:12:35,380 Эти обманки тоже делают обманки и сами ленятся.
- 00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:40,330 И в самом конечном итоге останутся только чудовища.
- 00:12:40,420 --> 00:12:42,720 Понятно. Ты стрёмный, и тебя это бесит.
- 00:12:43,780 --> 00:12:44,760 - Рик! - Деда!
- 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,240 Убейте меня...
- 00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:48,560 ...если у меня будет такая зубная дуга.
- 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,140 Тихо, жалкая обманка. Тебя ещё рано убивать.
- 00:12:51,250 --> 00:12:52,870 Кожа должна быть свежей.
- 00:12:52,950 --> 00:12:54,760 Знаешь что? Ты – чудовище.
- 00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,060 Я – твой отец.
- 00:12:56,170 --> 00:12:59,790 Точнее, я стану похож на него сильнее, когда соберу всю эту аппетитную кожу.
- 00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:01,150 Как же он любит кожу.
- 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,660 Она не только для меня. Рик обеспечивает всю семью.
- 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:07,030 Папочка, я снова буду красивой?
- 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,150 Скоро, милая. Скоро снова будешь красивой.
- 00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,220 Что за?
- 00:13:12,790 --> 00:13:14,170 Помогите остальным.
- 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:25,560 Почему вы нам помогаете?
- 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:29,540 Потому что мы все в этом замешаны. Уходим. Есть одно безопасное место.
- 00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,390 Кому нужны эти военные штуки?
- 00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,070 Я нашёл банку лакировки.
- 00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:49,380 Это наш билет в мир за рекой.
- 00:13:49,460 --> 00:13:53,000 Да кому это надо? Я жажду славной смерти в битве с обманками.
- 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:56,560 И смотря, что за лак. А то можно получить лицо, оскорбляющее чернокожих.
- 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,460 Ну простите, что я хочу жить.
- 00:13:58,570 --> 00:14:02,140 Братья и сёстры, мы приблизились к цели.
- 00:14:02,230 --> 00:14:03,450 К нашей цели.
- 00:14:03,530 --> 00:14:07,520 Мы больше не Рики и Морти, Бэти и Джерри,
- 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:08,630 а также не Саммер.
- 00:14:08,710 --> 00:14:09,610 - Да пофиг. - Жопа.
- 00:14:09,690 --> 00:14:11,130 Мы – обманки.
- 00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:13,840 Нас явил на свет нелюбящий бог,
- 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,350 нами движет уничтожение себе подобных
- 00:14:16,450 --> 00:14:18,930 из-за неопределённости, которую он создаёт.
- 00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:20,700 - Это перебор. - Непохоже на правду.
- 00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:23,260 Но сегодня насилию придёт конец.
- 00:14:24,250 --> 00:14:25,410 А как же кальмары?
- 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,340 - Обманки и есть кальмары. - Кальмары – это обманки, которые поняли,
- 00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:29,440 что они – обманки, и захотели убить всех обманок.
- 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:30,570 Да, не всё так просто.
- 00:14:30,650 --> 00:14:33,380 Не позволим неразберихе разобщить нас.
- 00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:34,950 Кальмары!
- 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,690 Кальмары – это, конечно, обманки-убийцы.
- 00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:41,770 Святая святых. Аварийный тоннель.
- 00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:50,390 - Джерри! - Джерри, впусти нас, пидорасина!
- 00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:53,470 Простите, я этого не хотел. Я просто хочу жить.
- 00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:56,050 Но лакировки совсем немного. Простите.
- 00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:57,250 - Папа! - Простите.
- 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:05,960 Скоро нас найдут другие обманки?
- 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:07,930 Рано или поздно. От них не сбежать.
- 00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:10,660 Где бы мы ни захотели спрятаться, там они и будут нас искать,
- 00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:13,080 это тридцать четвёртое правило Каскада Азимова.
- 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:16,260 Я просто рада, что мы живём полной жизнью эти последние минуты.
- 00:15:17,590 --> 00:15:20,010 Пописать в океане было моим желанием.
- 00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:20,700 Что дальше?
- 00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:21,770 Джерри? Твоё желание?
- 00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:24,960 Я хочу побывать на всех играх высшей лиги по бейсболу.
- 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,020 Хренушки. Морти?
- 00:15:26,100 --> 00:15:28,860 Хочу позвать на свиданку девушку из моей школы в Нью-Мексико.
- 00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:31,880 Чёрт, извини, приятель. Могло бы быть очень трогательно.
- 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,300 Они были счастливы. Без убийства было никак?
- 00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:41,450 А может их Рик решил свои сраные проблемы?
- 00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:43,350 Какая ты сегодня злая. Я твой папа.
- 00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:44,710 Ты любишь, когда я рядом.
- 00:15:44,790 --> 00:15:46,100 С тобой мы всегда в опасности.
- 00:15:46,180 --> 00:15:49,330 Пофиг, это всё надолго. Давайте я сделаю что-нибудь радикальное?
- 00:15:52,900 --> 00:15:54,240 Дом, сделай кое-что по-быстрому.
- 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,670 Сбацаешь голграмму, как в финальном боссе «Старфокса». Мерцающую.
- 00:15:57,830 --> 00:15:58,770 Сделаю, детка.
- 00:15:58,850 --> 00:16:00,870 Ну давай, сучара! Пора зажечь.
- 00:16:00,980 --> 00:16:01,830 Сходимся.
- 00:16:06,890 --> 00:16:08,300 Давайте, обманки долбаные.
- 00:16:08,390 --> 00:16:11,530 Залетайте в дом кальмаров Рика, где я подам ваши жопы на блюдечке.
- 00:16:11,610 --> 00:16:14,150 Я знаю о чём вы думаете. Сраный маяк! Гениально!
- 00:16:14,230 --> 00:16:16,500 Он на своей территории, у него негласное психологическое преимущество
- 00:16:16,580 --> 00:16:18,390 и раскачивающиеся яйца!
- 00:16:18,530 --> 00:16:21,420 Сейчас вы думаете: «Блин! Это самое риканутое, что может сделать Рик».
- 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:22,860 А вдруг я – обманка!
- 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,430 Я делал вид, будто мне плевать, но это не так.
- 00:16:25,510 --> 00:16:27,510 Доказать, что я настоящий, а он – нет,
- 00:16:27,590 --> 00:16:29,230 можно только грохнув его экспозиционную жопу.
- 00:16:29,310 --> 00:16:31,390 Ну давайте. Прилетайте на раздачу.
- 00:16:31,470 --> 00:16:34,310 Что? Нет, Морти, я буду гонять запись по кругу. Почему...
- 00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:35,270 Сэр, похоже,
- 00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:38,560 что на юго-запад Америки стекаются Рики Санчесы, чтобы поубивать друг друга.
- 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,430 Звучит утомительно. Сколько из тех штатов голосовало за меня?
- 00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:43,840 Господин президент, вся суть избирательной коллегии...
- 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,940 ...сохранить рабство? Всё верно, Стив, у меня тоже есть интернет.
- 00:16:47,020 --> 00:16:50,170 Тащи свою белую жопу на кухоньку и принеси мне диетическую колу.
- 00:16:58,630 --> 00:17:01,370 Я слегка выпаду из образа, сказав это, но до чего ж вы круты.
- 00:17:01,450 --> 00:17:02,800 А если мы – обманки?
- 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,330 Есть лишь один способ узнать.
- 00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:41,780 ...я настоящий, а он – нет, можно только грохнув его экспозиционную жопу.
- 00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:42,980 Похоже, всё стихает.
- 00:17:43,060 --> 00:17:45,440 Задвинешь поучительную речь про искусственную жизнь,
- 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,540 - или какая там тема на этой неделе? - Иди на хрен.
- 00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:49,080 А с фига ли ты возмущаешься?
- 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,670 Жизнь и семья так сильно обременяют тебя,
- 00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:53,110 но ты всё равно создал целый океан из нас,
- 00:17:53,190 --> 00:17:55,000 потому что боишься потерять и то, и другое.
- 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:55,820 Блин.
- 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:56,733 Да.
- 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,310 Слушай, Бэт. Возможно, я ненастоящий Рик,
- 00:17:59,390 --> 00:18:02,820 и если это так, то он создал меня... или меня, который создал меня.
- 00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,200 а значит, где-то глубоко внутри него есть
- 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,550 версия Рика, способная всё это выслушать...
- 00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:08,510 и которой очень жаль.
- 00:18:08,610 --> 00:18:11,510 Ей также жаль насчёт клона. Я люблю тебя.
- 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,350 Спасибо, пап. Я тоже тебя люблю.
- 00:18:15,780 --> 00:18:17,060 Мы что, правда обманки?
- 00:18:17,170 --> 00:18:19,430 Да какая разница? Останемся только мы.
- 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,510 Хорошо, что тот Рик сделал маяк, а то бы на это ушли недели.
- 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:25,360 Ладно, покончим с этим.
- 00:18:26,460 --> 00:18:27,060 Наконец-то.
- 00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:29,050 Мы выдали себя за очень милых обманок, которых жаль убивать.
- 00:18:29,130 --> 00:18:31,230 Может, зря, но я рад, что мы попробовали.
- 00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,310 Снимаем костюмы?
- 00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:34,460 Слава богу. Эти костюмы обманок хреново воняют.
- 00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:35,740 Хрен тебе в рот, Саммер.
- 00:18:42,130 --> 00:18:43,550 Блин, а он крут.
- 00:18:43,630 --> 00:18:46,580 Возможно, он и есть настоящий Рик, но что бы ни случилось...
- 00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:58,800 Погоди, зачем мы это делаем? Мы же обе Саммер.
- 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,780 Давай хотя бы закинемся круглым перед смертью?
- 00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:03,050 А вообще давай, на хер эту суету.
- 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,170 Я не знаю, в кого стрелять.
- 00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:13,760 - Саммер! - Саммер!
- 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,410 Я так не могу. Я убила себя, и вам придётся.
- 00:19:16,490 --> 00:19:17,760 - Саммер! - Саммер!
- 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,540 Иди в жопу! Я – настоящий! Я самый умный человек во вселенной.
- 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:26,670 Может, ты и прав. Но прикинь чо: я – не человек, я – бог.
- 00:19:29,270 --> 00:19:30,340 Ты создан по моему образу.
- 00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:31,253 Хер соси.
- 00:19:35,770 --> 00:19:37,750 Ты та Саммер, с которой я прилетел?
- 00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:38,570 Наверное.
- 00:19:38,650 --> 00:19:39,790 Сойдёт. Морти?
- 00:19:39,870 --> 00:19:40,570 Да.
- 00:19:40,650 --> 00:19:41,950 Я тоже здесь.
- 00:19:43,190 --> 00:19:44,850 Охренеть, вот это была жесть.
- 00:19:44,930 --> 00:19:47,140 Обожаю вас! Я точно изменился!
- 00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:53,863 Блин.
- 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,170 Надо было охотиться на меня.
- 00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:58,770 Что? Кто? Ты что, был важен?
- 00:19:58,870 --> 00:20:01,300 Т-типа мы тебя довели? Ты хотел быть мишенью?
- 00:20:01,380 --> 00:20:04,240 Боже, у меня столько вопросов. Почему? Что будет, если...
- 00:20:05,380 --> 00:20:08,460 Кто-нибудь! Охотьтесь на меня!
- 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:12,250 Крутое приключение, да? Такой долгий роуд-трип по космосу.
- 00:20:12,330 --> 00:20:14,770 Мы даже КосмоБэт зацепили. Может, почаще будем так делать?
- 00:20:14,850 --> 00:20:16,080 Не переборщи.
- 00:20:16,770 --> 00:20:17,820 Вашу мать.
- 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,770 Кажется, кто-то убил семью-обманку.
- 00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:21,450 - Семью-обманку? - Какую обманку?
- 00:21:05,630 --> 00:21:06,670 Кто здесь?
- 00:21:09,410 --> 00:21:11,520 Боже мой! Боже!
- 00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:15,080 Нет! Нет-нет-нет! Нет-нет-нет-нет!
- 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,940 О боже! Да, да! Наконец-то смерть.
- 00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:36,590 Почему я ещё жив?
- 00:21:36,710 --> 00:21:39,180 О боже! Хоть кто-то выжил? Ау?
- 00:21:39,260 --> 00:21:40,060 Что это?
- 00:21:40,140 --> 00:21:42,390 Пережиток более мирного прошлого.
- 00:21:46,830 --> 00:21:48,870 Стоп... Ковбои?
- 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:00,980 Христианство? Опять?
- 00:22:01,270 --> 00:22:04,550 После ковбоев? Вы сделали полный круг.
- 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,030 Боже, почему я не могу умереть?
- 00:22:07,110 --> 00:22:09,890 Таких ужасных вещей ещё ни с кем не случалось!
- 00:22:10,590 --> 00:22:13,310 Переведено Сыендуком специально для «2х2».
- 00:00:07,030 --> 00:00:08,469 Beth: You two are hungry.
- 00:00:08,504 --> 00:00:09,965 It's a big day. We're gonna kill God.
- 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,538 Come again? Christian god is real.
- 00:00:11,573 --> 00:00:12,803 He's been asleep for thousands of years,
- 00:00:12,838 --> 00:00:14,211 We're gonna sneak up there and kill 'em.
- 00:00:14,246 --> 00:00:15,542 Mob style. Just whack his ass.
- 00:00:15,577 --> 00:00:16,807 Can I kill God? Fuck off, Summer.
- 00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:18,380 As if. Beth, do you hear this?
- 00:00:18,415 --> 00:00:19,645 Sweetie, don't get all worked up
- 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,152 before your job interview.
- 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,483 Job interview? Yes.
- 00:00:22,518 --> 00:00:23,649 Is that so hard to believe?
- 00:00:23,684 --> 00:00:24,980 Actually, yeah.
- 00:00:25,015 --> 00:00:26,157 Something's off.
- 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,159 ¶¶
- 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,160 No!
- 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,327 Shit!
- 00:00:31,362 --> 00:00:34,726 ¶¶
- 00:00:34,761 --> 00:00:35,991 Mr. Always: Hunt me!
- 00:00:36,026 --> 00:00:39,500 Hunt me! Hunt me! Somebody hunt me!
- 00:00:39,535 --> 00:00:41,238 Don't hunt him to completion! Hunt me!
- 00:00:41,273 --> 00:00:42,668 Oh, shit. Um...
- 00:00:42,703 --> 00:00:44,835 Everyone start packing. N-No time to explain.
- 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,177 Rick? Dad, what's wrong?
- 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,838 Someone just killed a decoy family.
- 00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:49,873 I'm Mr. Always Wants To Be Hunted!
- 00:00:49,908 --> 00:00:53,008 Yes, and how interesting did you think that would stay?!
- 00:00:53,043 --> 00:01:00,917 ¶¶
- 00:01:00,952 --> 00:01:08,892 ¶¶
- 00:01:08,927 --> 00:01:16,867 ¶¶
- 00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:24,611 ¶¶
- 00:01:24,646 --> 00:01:26,041 Morty: You made clones of us?
- 00:01:26,076 --> 00:01:28,043 Decoys, Morty. Very different.
- 00:01:28,078 --> 00:01:30,254 Very different, sweetie. Different h-h-- Ow!
- 00:01:30,289 --> 00:01:31,783 Yeah, Dad. Different h-how?
- 00:01:31,818 --> 00:01:33,554 Lotta people out there want a piece of this, sweetie.
- 00:01:33,589 --> 00:01:35,226 I'm cool, and it makes them feel bad.
- 00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:37,052 So, y'know, after that trouble with Space Beth,
- 00:01:37,087 --> 00:01:38,757 I made passable copies of the family
- 00:01:38,792 --> 00:01:39,890 and placed them around the country
- 00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,463 as a buffer zone to protect --
- 00:01:41,498 --> 00:01:43,135 But<i> why</i> does he always want to be hunted? Jerry...
- 00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:45,060 That's not important right now, Dad. Sure, guys.
- 00:01:45,095 --> 00:01:46,732 Rick can make secret decoys of the family
- 00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:48,569 and place them all around the country,
- 00:01:48,604 --> 00:01:50,065 but fuck me if I have questions
- 00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,067 about the Starfish Man in a target suit.
- 00:01:52,102 --> 00:01:54,069 So thankful this is my Saturday.
- 00:01:54,104 --> 00:01:55,741 Why was he in that cryo-pod?!
- 00:01:55,776 --> 00:01:57,413 The<i> cryopod</i> is what confuses you?
- 00:01:57,448 --> 00:01:59,415 Jerry, can't you see we've moved on to higher stakes?
- 00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:01,582 Well, I don't see any stakes at all.
- 00:02:01,617 --> 00:02:05,421 ¶¶
- 00:02:07,689 --> 00:02:10,756 Ah, shit!
- 00:02:10,791 --> 00:02:12,626 Guess we'll just be saying<i> ciao bella</i>
- 00:02:12,661 --> 00:02:14,331 to our deposit, then -- Shut up and pack, Jerry.
- 00:02:14,366 --> 00:02:16,927 Squids just killed a decoy family. Decoy family?
- 00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:18,599 Is this is why you wanted to get out of town?
- 00:02:18,634 --> 00:02:19,765 You think I'd lie to you
- 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,305 about why we're on vacation, Morty?
- 00:02:21,340 --> 00:02:22,603 I wouldn't lie to you.
- 00:02:22,638 --> 00:02:24,803 Well, that's a lie. Huh...
- 00:02:24,838 --> 00:02:26,607 So, someone out there is trying to kill us?
- 00:02:26,642 --> 00:02:27,938 Someone's<i> always</i> trying to kill us --
- 00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,445 That's what the decoys are for.
- 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:33,284 They go on fun, self-contained terrestrial adventures and...
- 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:34,945 take bullets meant for us.
- 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,320 Shit.
- 00:02:36,355 --> 00:02:38,652 No!
- 00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:41,490 Oh, shit.
- 00:02:41,525 --> 00:02:43,657 Decoy family.
- 00:02:43,692 --> 00:02:44,856 I think Dad was still outside.
- 00:02:44,891 --> 00:02:46,627 Wh-Wh-What's a decoy family?
- 00:02:46,662 --> 00:02:48,299 Hard concept, Morty. Hard concept.
- 00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,125 I've never really cracked it, if I'm being honest.
- 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,534 Decided it was maybe better as a kind of kinetic mislead
- 00:02:52,569 --> 00:02:54,129 for another special episode! Oh, cool.
- 00:02:54,164 --> 00:02:57,968 Announcer: <i> We now return to "When Wolf."</i>
- 00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,640 Whoa. A time-traveling wolf?
- 00:02:59,675 --> 00:03:01,972 Count me in. Yeah, I never thought of the where in werewolf
- 00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,479 like who, what, when and where.
- 00:03:03,514 --> 00:03:05,008 C-Clever wordplay!
- 00:03:05,043 --> 00:03:07,175 <i> When Wolf.</i> <i> Dracula.</i>
- 00:03:07,210 --> 00:03:08,814 <i> You know</i> <i> why I'm here.</i>
- 00:03:08,849 --> 00:03:10,145 <i> I'm safe here, Ian.</i>
- 00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:12,147 <i> Christianity hasn't</i> <i> been invented yet --</i>
- 00:03:12,182 --> 00:03:14,556 <i> Crosses are just</i> <i> baby T's to me now.</i>
- 00:03:14,591 --> 00:03:15,821 <i> I got out.</i>
- 00:03:15,856 --> 00:03:18,362 <i> Please,</i> <i> don't invite me back in.</i>
- 00:03:18,397 --> 00:03:20,991 Huh, kinda mucked it up with this Dracula stuff. You're right.
- 00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:22,894 It shows a lack of faith in their core concept,
- 00:03:22,929 --> 00:03:24,698 I'd much rather watch When Wolf go to the '20s
- 00:03:24,733 --> 00:03:26,337 and invest in the stock market --
- 00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:28,867 but then eat people. Yeah.
- 00:03:31,542 --> 00:03:32,838 Look, if you really want to know
- 00:03:32,873 --> 00:03:35,170 what happened to Beth's mom, it -- Whup.
- 00:03:35,205 --> 00:03:37,040 Squid aliens just killed a decoy family.
- 00:03:37,075 --> 00:03:39,207 Decoy family? You made<i> more</i> clones?
- 00:03:39,242 --> 00:03:41,418 Clones are like 32% of all sci-fi, sweetie.
- 00:03:41,453 --> 00:03:43,849 You don't get to own 'clones. Yes, I made some decoys.
- 00:03:43,884 --> 00:03:45,180 They're exactly like us,
- 00:03:45,215 --> 00:03:46,720 with a few tweaks and a backdoor shutdown.
- 00:03:46,755 --> 00:03:48,854 Do you just get hard creating sentient life?
- 00:03:48,889 --> 00:03:51,054 Actually, I get hard protecting my family. Ew.
- 00:03:51,089 --> 00:03:53,760 Gross. Yeah, now everyone gets killer doppelgangers.
- 00:03:53,795 --> 00:03:55,190 Cool deal. The decoys are harmless, Beth.
- 00:03:55,225 --> 00:03:56,895 Grandpa Rick, do the decoys know they're decoys?
- 00:03:56,930 --> 00:03:59,029 They wouldn't be very good decoys if they did, Sum Sum.
- 00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:00,866 So they think they're us? That's the deal.
- 00:04:00,901 --> 00:04:03,935 How do you know <i> we're</i> not decoys?
- 00:04:03,970 --> 00:04:05,541 Oh, my God. We're decoys.
- 00:04:05,576 --> 00:04:07,037 Oh, God. We might not be real.
- 00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,280 W-We might be decoys! M-Morty, quick!
- 00:04:08,315 --> 00:04:09,908 Wh-Wh-What do I do? My failsafe, Morty.
- 00:04:09,943 --> 00:04:11,239 M-M-My final, secret failsafe.
- 00:04:11,274 --> 00:04:13,043 I-It proves I'm real. You have to help me.
- 00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:14,110 I-I-I'd never joke about this.
- 00:04:14,145 --> 00:04:15,782 There's a barcode, Morty.
- 00:04:15,817 --> 00:04:17,113 A-A barcode on the interior of my left ass cheek.
- 00:04:17,148 --> 00:04:18,554 What? Morty, please, I'm begging you.
- 00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:19,588 I'm not looking at your ass.
- 00:04:19,623 --> 00:04:20,886 Please, Morty! Is it there?
- 00:04:20,921 --> 00:04:22,558 God damn it! Just tell me if I'm real!
- 00:04:22,593 --> 00:04:23,724 Morty, do it!
- 00:04:23,759 --> 00:04:25,055 Gross!
- 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,595 Dad! Summer, you fucking idiot.
- 00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:28,223 We're not decoys. Wh-Why did <i> I</i> get punished?!
- 00:04:28,258 --> 00:04:30,434 A, decoys don't build decoys, and, B, you think
- 00:04:30,469 --> 00:04:32,095 the mere suggestion I'm fake would break me?
- 00:04:32,130 --> 00:04:33,899 Christ, I'm not your mom. Fuck off.
- 00:04:33,934 --> 00:04:35,802 Jeez, these guys really wanna kill me bad.
- 00:04:35,837 --> 00:04:37,133 Alright. Here's the plan.
- 00:04:37,168 --> 00:04:38,904 We're gonna hide out with a decoy family,
- 00:04:38,939 --> 00:04:40,741 and when these squids show up, we jump their asses.
- 00:04:40,776 --> 00:04:42,578 Jerry! Come on! Family emergency.
- 00:04:42,613 --> 00:04:45,647 A bigger emergency than my lemon squares not setting?
- 00:04:45,682 --> 00:04:47,418 They're gluten free, sugar free,
- 00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:50,784 and lemon free.
- 00:04:53,316 --> 00:04:54,755 Think you got the wrong house, bro.
- 00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:57,824 Analysis Mode. Password 8-0-0-8-5.
- 00:04:57,859 --> 00:04:59,496 Kind of expected a funnier password.
- 00:04:59,531 --> 00:05:01,091 I didn't plan on showing them off.
- 00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:03,830 Damn. Like "Westworld." Yes, Morty, like "Westworld."
- 00:05:03,865 --> 00:05:06,096 But don't fuck them. S-Summer! Whatever, creep.
- 00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:08,098 I'm gonna see how accurate you got my room.
- 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,441 Rick, when you say you made an exact replica of the house,
- 00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:13,004 d-did you mean like, y'know, a-a-an exact replica?
- 00:05:13,039 --> 00:05:14,478 I know about the Yosemite t-shirt, Morty.
- 00:05:14,513 --> 00:05:16,942 Shit. You know you can use tissues, right?
- 00:05:16,977 --> 00:05:18,449 I can't finish without it.
- 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,276 So you<i> do</i> know what a happy family looks like.
- 00:05:21,311 --> 00:05:23,619 I know what a fake one looks like.
- 00:05:23,654 --> 00:05:26,116 Morty: Uh, Rick? Rick: What?
- 00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:28,151 Did you use this house to make decoys, too?
- 00:05:28,186 --> 00:05:30,120 What? Morty, why the fuck would I do that?
- 00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:32,859 You think I'd go somewhere else to --
- 00:05:32,894 --> 00:05:35,631 Okay. Well, I am now less worried about the squids.
- 00:05:35,666 --> 00:05:38,370 Isolate head at normal processing.
- 00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:40,295 What the fuck you think you're doing down there?
- 00:05:40,330 --> 00:05:42,671 You're making decoys? Wait, how do you --
- 00:05:42,706 --> 00:05:44,640 Oh, God. Summer was right.
- 00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:45,971 Everyone in the car.
- 00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:48,644 You said decoys didn't make decoys.
- 00:05:48,679 --> 00:05:49,810 And, usually, they don't.
- 00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:51,174 But again, it's nothing to worry about,
- 00:05:51,209 --> 00:05:53,011 because decoys are harmless.
- 00:05:53,046 --> 00:05:54,650 Just have to, y'know, visit the rest
- 00:05:54,685 --> 00:05:57,147 and terminate the program. Terminate? They're alive, Dad.
- 00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:58,522 And at some point, they won't be,
- 00:05:58,557 --> 00:05:59,985 That's how existing works.
- 00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:01,349 W-W-What, are you gonna save every stray cat?
- 00:06:01,384 --> 00:06:03,824 No, but I can resist making more of them in a lab.
- 00:06:03,859 --> 00:06:05,353 Gah, look! Save the empathy.
- 00:06:05,388 --> 00:06:06,893 It's more termite infestation than "Blade Runner" --
- 00:06:06,928 --> 00:06:08,158 I still think we're decoys.
- 00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:09,698 You just want an excuse to stop trying.
- 00:06:09,733 --> 00:06:10,831 Yeah. And?
- 00:06:10,866 --> 00:06:12,327 Oooh. There's a handsome fellow.
- 00:06:12,362 --> 00:06:14,736 Uh-oh.
- 00:06:14,771 --> 00:06:16,837 I thought you made them harmless.
- 00:06:16,872 --> 00:06:19,037 I don't remember making this one.
- 00:06:19,072 --> 00:06:22,513 Oh, hi, Rick. Family, me?
- 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:23,877 Hey, when did you all leave?
- 00:06:23,912 --> 00:06:26,011 Analysis Mode. 8-0-0-8-5.
- 00:06:26,046 --> 00:06:27,342 Hmm? N-Nothing, buddy.
- 00:06:27,377 --> 00:06:28,684 You-you gotta stop with all that coffee.
- 00:06:28,719 --> 00:06:29,850 It's making you loopy.
- 00:06:29,885 --> 00:06:30,917 H-Happy Analysis Mode.
- 00:06:30,952 --> 00:06:33,183 Happy Analysis Mode to you, too!
- 00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:36,021 Think you got the wrong house, bro.
- 00:06:36,056 --> 00:06:37,726 Analysis Mode. Password 8-0-0 --
- 00:06:37,761 --> 00:06:39,189 Shit! You think I'm a decoy?
- 00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:40,861 How do you know about the decoys!
- 00:06:40,896 --> 00:06:42,357 They were my idea!
- 00:06:42,392 --> 00:06:44,568 Jerry: Well, now I know you're pranking me.
- 00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:46,867 Rick: Analysis Mode. Password 8-equal-sign
- 00:06:46,902 --> 00:06:50,365 equal-sign-capital "D."
- 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,069 Hide.
- 00:06:51,104 --> 00:06:53,203 What?! Hide!
- 00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:57,075 ¶¶
- 00:06:57,110 --> 00:06:59,044 Morty: Wow. Like -- Like "Ex Machina."
- 00:06:59,079 --> 00:07:00,716 Rick: Yes, Morty, like "Ex Machina."
- 00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:02,454 But don't fuck them. Summer! Summer: Whatever, weirdo.
- 00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,214 I'm gonna see how wrong you got my room.
- 00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,557 Beth: So you do know what a loving family looks like.
- 00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:07,888 A simulated one, yes.
- 00:07:07,923 --> 00:07:09,890 Why are we hiding? He thinks he's me,
- 00:07:09,925 --> 00:07:11,958 and I was about to start terminating decoys.
- 00:07:11,993 --> 00:07:14,092 But we're not decoys. Sure, tell him that.
- 00:07:14,127 --> 00:07:16,600 Morty: Rick? Did you make decoys here, too?
- 00:07:16,635 --> 00:07:18,393 Rick: Morty, what reason could I have for --
- 00:07:18,428 --> 00:07:20,230 What the...
- 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,067 Isolate head at normal processing!
- 00:07:22,102 --> 00:07:23,970 You dumb asshole, you made decoys?
- 00:07:24,005 --> 00:07:25,609 Again, they were<i> my</i> idea.
- 00:07:25,644 --> 00:07:27,237 Wait, w-what happened to the other guy?
- 00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:29,646 Other guy?
- 00:07:29,681 --> 00:07:32,946 Wait, that means<i> I'm</i> a decoy. Fuckin' Summer.
- 00:07:32,981 --> 00:07:34,453 Check the closets.
- 00:07:36,182 --> 00:07:37,412 -Killer decoys! -They've gone rogue!
- 00:07:37,447 --> 00:07:39,249 Take out the decoys!
- 00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:41,416 Shit. Somebody put a gun in my teeth!
- 00:07:41,451 --> 00:07:42,824 Stop shooting, Dad. They're us,
- 00:07:42,859 --> 00:07:44,089 We don't have to fight them!
- 00:07:44,124 --> 00:07:45,497 Classic prisoners dilemma, Beth.
- 00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:47,158 I-I'm a cool guy, I -- Y'know? I can talk it out.
- 00:07:47,193 --> 00:07:48,764 But<i> that</i> asshole... Me?
- 00:07:48,799 --> 00:07:50,799 You decoy piece of shit. You're the one who shot first!
- 00:07:50,834 --> 00:07:52,097 We can work this out!
- 00:07:52,132 --> 00:07:53,604 Just stop trying to kill each other!
- 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,331 Sorry, Decoy Beth, but this only ends one way --
- 00:07:55,366 --> 00:07:56,937 with one of us accepting we're a decoy.
- 00:07:56,972 --> 00:07:58,609 And once he knows he's a decoy,
- 00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,336 he'll know he won't be safe until he's killed the real Rick,
- 00:08:00,371 --> 00:08:01,942 along with anyone who thinks he's him.
- 00:08:01,977 --> 00:08:04,615 Pretty perceptive, for a decoy.
- 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,946 This is getting nowhere.
- 00:08:05,981 --> 00:08:07,442 Let's charge their asses on three.
- 00:08:07,477 --> 00:08:09,785 Do we have to do this? Morty, this is gonna sound bad,
- 00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:11,446 but would you trust me not to kill you?
- 00:08:11,481 --> 00:08:13,448 Oof. I mean good point but Jesus Christ.
- 00:08:13,483 --> 00:08:15,120 We rush 'em on three. Ready?
- 00:08:15,155 --> 00:08:16,792 I don't wanna kill us, Rick. It's them or us, Morty.
- 00:08:16,827 --> 00:08:18,123 I don't trust me. Do you trust you?
- 00:08:18,158 --> 00:08:19,960 Yes? Freak.
- 00:08:22,899 --> 00:08:24,162 Rick: Before you say anything,
- 00:08:24,197 --> 00:08:25,801 they were already killing each other.
- 00:08:25,836 --> 00:08:28,001 Well, you could've done something. Not sure, actually.
- 00:08:28,036 --> 00:08:29,332 I've heard stories about this.
- 00:08:29,367 --> 00:08:31,466 We're looking at a possible Asimov Cascade.
- 00:08:31,501 --> 00:08:33,138 Sorry, what's happening? I need an explainer, too.
- 00:08:33,173 --> 00:08:34,337 Yeah I-I'm pretty behind on this one.
- 00:08:34,372 --> 00:08:36,647 Car, can I get a whiteboard?
- 00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,308 When Squids started killing decoys,
- 00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:39,881 decoys started checking their decoys
- 00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:41,476 and learning that they're making decoys.
- 00:08:41,511 --> 00:08:43,511 That's making them seek out and run into other decoys,
- 00:08:43,546 --> 00:08:45,315 making them realize they're decoys,
- 00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,889 making them start to kill other decoys.
- 00:08:47,924 --> 00:08:49,319 Say "decoy" again. Fuck you.
- 00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:50,518 Well, how do we stop it?
- 00:08:50,553 --> 00:08:52,025 Beth, the loop's already started,
- 00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:54,665 It's basically "Highlander" rules now.
- 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:55,864 Really? 1986?
- 00:08:55,899 --> 00:08:57,063 "There can be only one?"
- 00:08:57,098 --> 00:08:58,361 Shit. We gotta rent it after this,
- 00:08:58,396 --> 00:08:59,670 Connery plays "The Spaniard,"
- 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,496 but does<i> nothing</i> about his accent.
- 00:09:01,531 --> 00:09:03,003 Well, what about the squids? I mean, they started this.
- 00:09:03,038 --> 00:09:04,004 Would killing them finish it?
- 00:09:04,039 --> 00:09:05,335 Might work. Alt pitch.
- 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:06,875 We just terminate the rest of the decoys.
- 00:09:06,910 --> 00:09:09,405 Nobody's terminating anything. This is<i> your</i> mess.
- 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,682 Nobody else with our face and memories has to die.
- 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,245 Beth, as much as your passion warms my cold, cold heart,
- 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:15,752 this thing feels pretty far gone.
- 00:09:15,787 --> 00:09:17,688 Not only are the decoys liable to be anywhere,
- 00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,415 but also, we don't know how many there are.
- 00:09:19,450 --> 00:09:21,021 You get far enough down the decoy line
- 00:09:21,056 --> 00:09:22,187 and shit starts to get weird.
- 00:09:22,222 --> 00:09:23,859 You ever make a copy of a copy?
- 00:09:23,894 --> 00:09:26,257 You're helping us fix this. We're taking out the squids.
- 00:09:26,292 --> 00:09:28,930 I say we split up. Some of us take down squids
- 00:09:28,965 --> 00:09:30,195 while the rest of us -- Engage in B-stories
- 00:09:30,230 --> 00:09:31,526 we'll have to track simultaneously?
- 00:09:31,561 --> 00:09:32,703 No thank yeeew!
- 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,364 We stick together till this is all wrapped up.
- 00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:35,904 I dunno -- The squids seem pretty good
- 00:09:35,939 --> 00:09:36,938 at taking out Smith families.
- 00:09:36,973 --> 00:09:38,203 Well, this'll sound weird,
- 00:09:38,238 --> 00:09:40,436 but I think I have a pitch for that.
- 00:09:43,144 --> 00:09:44,572 This costume smells like ass!
- 00:09:44,607 --> 00:09:46,277 God, there's no pleasing you. It's really bad, Rick.
- 00:09:46,312 --> 00:09:48,213 Did you let a gym coach break it in?
- 00:09:48,248 --> 00:09:49,445 Why are we wearing these?
- 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,249 Because we'll fit in and avoid detection
- 00:09:51,284 --> 00:09:52,580 as we take out all the squids.
- 00:09:52,615 --> 00:09:54,087 Might also help us anonymously
- 00:09:54,122 --> 00:09:55,726 take out excess decoys, if we have to.
- 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,387 Which we won't. Unless we're decoys.
- 00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,389 He's starting to wonder. I knew it.
- 00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:01,457 I knew we didn't seem like Colorado people.
- 00:10:01,492 --> 00:10:03,129 Oh, my God! You are, aren't you?
- 00:10:03,164 --> 00:10:04,592 You're worried you might be fake!
- 00:10:04,627 --> 00:10:06,066 Sure, Beth. Try to love this more.
- 00:10:06,101 --> 00:10:07,463 Just glad you have to walk a mile
- 00:10:07,498 --> 00:10:09,740 in someone else's squid costume. There's one.
- 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,566 H-Hey what are they mad at you for, anyway?
- 00:10:11,601 --> 00:10:13,436 Well, we're talking about me. It could be anything.
- 00:10:13,471 --> 00:10:15,240 Maybe jealous of my penis size.
- 00:10:15,275 --> 00:10:18,078 I had sex with their queen. My dick's too big.
- 00:10:18,113 --> 00:10:19,750 The list goes on and on.
- 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:25,756 ¶¶
- 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:26,955 Alright. Hey, one down!
- 00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:29,155 Probably, what, 40 more to go? 45?
- 00:10:29,190 --> 00:10:30,959 Should be pretty easy, unless killing them
- 00:10:30,994 --> 00:10:32,158 brings in a bigger bad
- 00:10:32,193 --> 00:10:33,423 or some kind of horrible mothership.
- 00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:34,765 Okay, let's loot their shit,
- 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,592 find their weaknesses, be done by sundown.
- 00:10:37,627 --> 00:10:39,000 Huh. Wait.
- 00:10:39,035 --> 00:10:42,267 But if the squids are decoys, and we dressed as squids...
- 00:10:42,302 --> 00:10:43,598 Well, I think I found their weakness.
- 00:10:43,633 --> 00:10:45,809 They don't fucking listen to me.
- 00:10:47,142 --> 00:10:50,649 Honestly, probably for the best.
- 00:10:58,824 --> 00:11:00,153 Man, I'm good.
- 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:07,523 ¶¶
- 00:11:07,558 --> 00:11:08,964 Dad!
- 00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:15,135 ¶¶
- 00:11:16,534 --> 00:11:17,874 ¶¶
- 00:11:17,909 --> 00:11:20,635 Argh! Hey!
- 00:11:20,670 --> 00:11:21,812 Ugh!
- 00:11:26,511 --> 00:11:29,820 ¶¶
- 00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,185 Ugh!
- 00:11:35,025 --> 00:11:36,189 Oh, shit. One of mine.
- 00:11:36,224 --> 00:11:37,652 Where are we going? Off grid, Morty.
- 00:11:37,687 --> 00:11:39,390 We're gonna live in the woods, like Libertarians.
- 00:11:39,425 --> 00:11:41,029 We'll hunt rabbits and trade with, like,
- 00:11:41,064 --> 00:11:43,493 little pieces of gold bar that we cut off with a knife.
- 00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:45,066 That licks. We might be decoys, Summer.
- 00:11:45,101 --> 00:11:47,497 Everything about this licks. Oh, maybe now you'll empathize
- 00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:48,905 with the decoys you're killing.
- 00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:50,665 Wait, shh. It's too quiet.
- 00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:53,668 You skipped quiet. I didn't skip shit.
- 00:11:53,703 --> 00:11:55,076 It's obviously quiet if it's<i> too</i> quiet.
- 00:11:55,111 --> 00:11:56,539 Yeah, but you're supposed to say --
- 00:11:56,574 --> 00:11:58,849 You know what, Summer, now it's not quiet enough.
- 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:04,580 ¶¶
- 00:12:04,615 --> 00:12:10,190 ¶¶
- 00:12:10,225 --> 00:12:12,093 Where are we? W-W-Where -- Where's Rick?
- 00:12:12,128 --> 00:12:13,864 He's right here, Morty.
- 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,559 Oh, are we not happy to see grandpa?
- 00:12:16,594 --> 00:12:19,067 Does he look... different?
- 00:12:19,102 --> 00:12:20,233 Oh, God! Oh, it stinks!
- 00:12:20,268 --> 00:12:22,565 Yes. Recoil at the craftsmanship.
- 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,205 I could tell I was a fake from the day I was born.
- 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,569 Unlike you.
- 00:12:26,604 --> 00:12:27,944 Unlike them.
- 00:12:27,979 --> 00:12:29,209 Aaah!
- 00:12:29,244 --> 00:12:30,705 You see, Ricks -- they get lazy.
- 00:12:30,740 --> 00:12:33,048 There's always a "shitty decoy" towards the end.
- 00:12:33,083 --> 00:12:36,887 But those decoys made decoys, too, and got lazy themselves.
- 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:40,253 And far enough down the line... there be monsters.
- 00:12:40,288 --> 00:12:42,552 Ugh, we get it. You're ugly and mad about it.
- 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,059 Rick!
- 00:12:44,094 --> 00:12:46,127 Grandpa! Kill me.
- 00:12:46,162 --> 00:12:48,228 If I ever get this arch.
- 00:12:48,263 --> 00:12:49,724 Hush little decoy.
- 00:12:49,759 --> 00:12:52,969 Can't kill you yet. The skin needs to be fresh.
- 00:12:53,004 --> 00:12:54,905 You know what? You're a monster.
- 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,104 I'm your father.
- 00:12:56,139 --> 00:12:57,567 At least, I can look more like him,
- 00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,404 once I harvest all this yummy skin.
- 00:12:59,439 --> 00:13:01,076 This guy's really into skin.
- 00:13:01,111 --> 00:13:02,473 It's not<i> all</i> for me.
- 00:13:02,508 --> 00:13:04,574 A Rick provides for his family.
- 00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,818 Will I be beautiful again, Daddy?
- 00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:10,822 Soon, baby. Beautiful again soon.
- 00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:12,252 What the...
- 00:13:12,287 --> 00:13:13,748 Help the others!
- 00:13:13,783 --> 00:13:14,925 Aaaaah!
- 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,091 ¶¶
- 00:13:17,996 --> 00:13:20,425 ¶¶
- 00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:25,430 Why are you helping us?
- 00:13:25,465 --> 00:13:27,102 Because we're all in this together.
- 00:13:27,137 --> 00:13:29,269 Come on! There's a place we can go!
- 00:13:29,304 --> 00:13:36,111 ¶¶
- 00:13:36,146 --> 00:13:42,810 ¶¶
- 00:13:42,845 --> 00:13:45,450 Hey, who needs all this war stuff?
- 00:13:45,485 --> 00:13:46,858 I found a can of varnish.
- 00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,992 This is a ticket to the world beyond the river.
- 00:13:49,027 --> 00:13:50,290 Who wants that?
- 00:13:50,325 --> 00:13:53,293 I crave glorious death in decoy battle.
- 00:13:53,328 --> 00:13:55,295 Y'know, depending on the varnish,
- 00:13:55,330 --> 00:13:56,461 might look like blackface.
- 00:13:56,496 --> 00:13:58,463 Excuse me for wanting to live.
- 00:13:58,498 --> 00:14:02,137 Brothers and Sisters, welcome to the cause.
- 00:14:02,172 --> 00:14:03,468 To<i> our</i> cause.
- 00:14:03,503 --> 00:14:05,833 We are no longer Ricks and Mortys,
- 00:14:05,868 --> 00:14:07,340 Beths and Jerrys,
- 00:14:07,375 --> 00:14:08,704 or also Summers.
- 00:14:08,739 --> 00:14:10,981 Whatever. We are decoys.
- 00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:13,808 Brought into the world by an unloving god
- 00:14:13,843 --> 00:14:16,151 and driven to destroy ourselves
- 00:14:16,186 --> 00:14:17,988 by the uncertainty<i> he</i> creates!
- 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,650 I don't know about that. That's extreme.
- 00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:24,027 But that violence ends today.
- 00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:25,820 What about the squids? The squids are decoys.
- 00:14:25,855 --> 00:14:27,525 The squids are decoys who realized they're decoys
- 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,230 and wanted to kill the other decoys.
- 00:14:29,265 --> 00:14:30,495 Yeah, i-it is a lot.
- 00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:33,663 We cannot let confusion divide us.
- 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:35,005 Squuuids!
- 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,502 Squids, of course, being shorthand for Killer Decoys.
- 00:14:39,209 --> 00:14:42,012 Inner sanctum, the escape tunnel!
- 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,674 ¶¶
- 00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,379 Jerry!
- 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,251 -Dad! -Jerry! -Jerry, let us in, you fucker!
- 00:14:50,286 --> 00:14:52,088 I'm sorry. I didn't ask for this.
- 00:14:52,123 --> 00:14:53,518 I just wanna live!
- 00:14:53,553 --> 00:14:55,223 But there's only so much varnish.
- 00:14:55,258 --> 00:14:59,194 I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- 00:15:04,102 --> 00:15:05,695 Beth: How long before the other decoys find us?
- 00:15:05,730 --> 00:15:07,862 Sooner or later. Can't really run from it.
- 00:15:07,897 --> 00:15:10,700 Any place we'd think to hide is a place they'd think to look.
- 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,944 It's rule 34 of an Asimov Cascade.
- 00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,539 I'm just glad we're living to the fullest
- 00:15:14,574 --> 00:15:16,046 with the time we have left.
- 00:15:17,577 --> 00:15:19,709 Well, peeing in the ocean was my bucket list item.
- 00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,777 Who's next? Jerry? Bucket list?
- 00:15:21,812 --> 00:15:24,879 I'd like to attend a game at every major league ballpark.
- 00:15:24,914 --> 00:15:26,056 Nope. Morty?
- 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,222 I wanna ask a girl out
- 00:15:27,257 --> 00:15:28,619 at my weird New Mexico School.
- 00:15:28,654 --> 00:15:30,093 Shit. Sorry, buddy.
- 00:15:30,128 --> 00:15:32,062 Sounds like it would've been real heartwarming.
- 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:36,891 ¶¶
- 00:15:36,926 --> 00:15:38,893 They looked happy. Did we have to kill them?
- 00:15:38,928 --> 00:15:41,302 Well, maybe their Rick came to grips with his bullshit.
- 00:15:41,337 --> 00:15:42,633 You're so mean today!
- 00:15:42,668 --> 00:15:44,470 I'm your dad! You like having me around!
- 00:15:44,505 --> 00:15:46,241 You keep putting us in danger! Whatever.
- 00:15:46,276 --> 00:15:49,244 This'll take forever, mind if I do something drastic?
- 00:15:51,611 --> 00:15:54,084 House, I need something quick.
- 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:56,746 Can you whip up a "Starfox Boss" Season Four callback?
- 00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,616 Make it flashy. House:<i> You got it, babe.</i>
- 00:15:58,651 --> 00:16:00,585 Let's go, you little bitch. It's showtime.
- 00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:02,422 Get centered.
- 00:16:02,457 --> 00:16:06,756 ¶¶
- 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,098 <i> What up,</i> <i> you decoy motherfuckers.</i>
- 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:09,759 <i> Come on down to</i> <i> Rick's House Of Squids,</i>
- 00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:11,596 <i> where I'm serving your ass</i> <i> on a platter.</i>
- 00:16:11,631 --> 00:16:13,103 <i> I know what you're thinking.</i> <i> "Fuck. A beacon.</i>
- 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,764 <i> That's a great idea.</i> <i> He's got home turf,</i>
- 00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,139 <i> a tacit</i> <i> psychological advantage,</i>
- 00:16:16,174 --> 00:16:17,932 <i> and absolutely</i> <i> pendulous balls."</i>
- 00:16:17,967 --> 00:16:19,670 <i>And now you're thinking, "Shit.</i>
- 00:16:19,705 --> 00:16:21,276 <i> That's totally what</i> <i> the Rick-est Rick would do.</i>
- 00:16:21,311 --> 00:16:22,607 <i> I might actually be fake!</i>
- 00:16:22,642 --> 00:16:23,971 <i> I pretended</i> <i> I didn't care if I was,</i>
- 00:16:24,006 --> 00:16:25,445 <i> but I totally did!</i>
- 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,183 <i> Now the only way to prove</i> <i> I'm real and not him,</i>
- 00:16:27,218 --> 00:16:28,943 <i> is to ice his expository ass."</i>
- 00:16:28,978 --> 00:16:31,154 <i> Yup. So let's do it.</i> <i> Come get some.</i>
- 00:16:31,189 --> 00:16:32,452 <i> What? No, Morty.</i>
- 00:16:32,487 --> 00:16:34,025 <i> I'm gonna loop it.</i> <i> Why is it --</i>
- 00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:36,621 Sir, there seems to be a confluence of Rick Sanchezes
- 00:16:36,656 --> 00:16:38,359 killing each other over the American Southwest.
- 00:16:38,394 --> 00:16:39,657 Sounds exhausting.
- 00:16:39,692 --> 00:16:41,032 How many of those states voted for me, anyway?
- 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,792 Mr. President, I think the point
- 00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,662 of the electoral college is -- To preserve slavery?
- 00:16:44,697 --> 00:16:46,796 That's right, Steve. I have the Internet, too.
- 00:16:46,831 --> 00:16:48,501 Now take your white ass to the kitchenette
- 00:16:48,536 --> 00:16:49,997 and bring me a Diet Coke.
- 00:16:50,032 --> 00:16:58,643 ¶¶
- 00:16:58,678 --> 00:16:59,875 Little out of character to say this right now
- 00:16:59,910 --> 00:17:01,349 but you guys look really cool.
- 00:17:01,384 --> 00:17:04,055 We might be decoys, huh. One way to find out.
- 00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:13,988 ¶¶
- 00:17:16,267 --> 00:17:23,536 ¶¶
- 00:17:23,571 --> 00:17:31,005 ¶¶
- 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:38,188 ¶¶
- 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,684 <i> ...to prove I'm real</i> <i> and not him</i>
- 00:17:39,719 --> 00:17:41,719 <i> is to ice his expository ass."</i>
- 00:17:41,754 --> 00:17:43,017 Looks like it's calming down.
- 00:17:43,052 --> 00:17:44,689 You wanna get in one more "I told you so"
- 00:17:44,724 --> 00:17:46,526 about synthetic life or whatever this week's theme is?
- 00:17:46,561 --> 00:17:47,857 Oh, fuck you. Whoa.
- 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:48,891 No, you don't get to be annoyed with this!
- 00:17:48,926 --> 00:17:50,365 You treat life and family
- 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,531 as so burdensome,
- 00:17:51,566 --> 00:17:52,895 and yet you created an ocean of us
- 00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:55,029 because you're terrified of losing either!
- 00:17:55,064 --> 00:17:56,701 Shit. Yeah.
- 00:17:56,736 --> 00:17:59,374 Look, Beth. I-I might not be the real Rick.
- 00:17:59,409 --> 00:18:01,244 But even if I'm not, he made me,
- 00:18:01,279 --> 00:18:02,608 or the me that made me,
- 00:18:02,643 --> 00:18:04,038 which means somewhere inside of him
- 00:18:04,073 --> 00:18:06,381 is a version of Rick capable of hearing that,
- 00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:08,119 a version of Rick who's sorry.
- 00:18:08,154 --> 00:18:10,385 I'm sorry about the clone thing, too.
- 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:11,749 I-I love you.
- 00:18:11,784 --> 00:18:15,588 Thanks, Dad. I love you, too.
- 00:18:15,623 --> 00:18:17,425 You really think we're decoys? Eh.
- 00:18:17,460 --> 00:18:19,394 Who cares? We'll be the last ones left.
- 00:18:19,429 --> 00:18:20,593 Lucky that one did the beacon.
- 00:18:20,628 --> 00:18:23,431 This was gonna take weeks.
- 00:18:23,466 --> 00:18:25,235 Alright. Let's mop up.
- 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:26,896 Finally.
- 00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,898 Dressing as decoys too cute to murder.
- 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:29,932 You know, I'm not sure it helped,
- 00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:31,241 but I'm glad we tried it.
- 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:32,638 We're losing the costumes? Thank God.
- 00:18:32,673 --> 00:18:34,310 This decoy outfit smells like ass.
- 00:18:34,345 --> 00:18:35,410 Fuck you, Summer.
- 00:18:35,445 --> 00:18:37,973 ¶¶
- 00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,417 Aaaaaaaah! Shit.
- 00:18:42,452 --> 00:18:43,913 That guy's awesome. Okay. Listen.
- 00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:45,783 He might actually be the real Rick.
- 00:18:45,818 --> 00:18:47,587 But whatever happens --
- 00:18:50,526 --> 00:18:56,090 ¶¶
- 00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:58,763 Wait! We don't have to do this. We're both Summers.
- 00:18:58,798 --> 00:19:00,765 Shouldn't we at least try molly before we die?
- 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,097 You know what, yeah. Fuck this noise.
- 00:19:03,132 --> 00:19:10,940 ¶¶
- 00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:13,008 Wait. I don't know who to shoot.
- 00:19:13,043 --> 00:19:14,614 Both: Summer! I can't deal with this.
- 00:19:14,649 --> 00:19:16,451 I had to kill myself. You have to, too.
- 00:19:16,486 --> 00:19:18,783 Summer! Summer!
- 00:19:18,818 --> 00:19:20,686 Fuck you! I-I'm real!
- 00:19:20,721 --> 00:19:22,116 I'm the smartest man in the universe!
- 00:19:22,151 --> 00:19:24,327 Probably not even wrong. But that's just it.
- 00:19:24,362 --> 00:19:25,526 I'm not a man.
- 00:19:25,561 --> 00:19:29,123 I'm God!
- 00:19:29,158 --> 00:19:30,465 You're just made in my image.
- 00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,466 Fuck you.
- 00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:37,670 You the, uh... Summer I came with?
- 00:19:37,705 --> 00:19:39,210 Probably. Good enough.
- 00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:40,376 Morty? Yeah.
- 00:19:40,411 --> 00:19:41,674 I'm here, too.
- 00:19:43,073 --> 00:19:44,710 Holy shit! That was insane!
- 00:19:44,745 --> 00:19:46,646 I love you guys! I've totally changed!
- 00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:49,979 Aaaah!
- 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:53,884 Oh, fuck.
- 00:19:53,919 --> 00:19:55,985 You shoulda hunted me.
- 00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:58,526 What? Who -- W-Were you significant?
- 00:19:58,561 --> 00:20:00,022 Like -- Like, did we tee you up?
- 00:20:00,057 --> 00:20:02,662 You want to be hunted? God, I have so many questions.
- 00:20:02,697 --> 00:20:05,159 Why? What happens if --
- 00:20:05,194 --> 00:20:08,536 Somebody hunt me!
- 00:20:08,571 --> 00:20:09,900 Rick: Pretty cool adventure, huh?
- 00:20:09,935 --> 00:20:12,166 Big long road trip adventure through space?
- 00:20:12,201 --> 00:20:14,674 Even ran into Space Beth. Maybe that'll happen more often.
- 00:20:14,709 --> 00:20:15,675 Let's not overdo it.
- 00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:18,007 Oh, shit.
- 00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,679 Looks like someone killed the decoy family.
- 00:20:19,714 --> 00:20:21,516 Decoy family? Decoy what now?
- 00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:29,392 ¶¶
- 00:20:29,427 --> 00:20:37,367 ¶¶
- 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:45,276 ¶¶
- 00:20:45,311 --> 00:20:53,284 ¶¶
- 00:20:56,751 --> 00:21:05,395 ¶¶
- 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:06,792 Hello?
- 00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:10,565 Oh! Oh, my God!
- 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:11,731 Oh, my God!
- 00:21:11,766 --> 00:21:13,568 No! No, no, no, no!
- 00:21:13,603 --> 00:21:15,229 No, no, no, no, no!
- 00:21:15,264 --> 00:21:18,903 ¶¶
- 00:21:18,938 --> 00:21:21,444 Noooooo!
- 00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:25,745 ¶¶
- 00:21:25,780 --> 00:21:27,417 Oh, God. Yes, yes.
- 00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,320 Sweet death.
- 00:21:29,355 --> 00:21:34,985 ¶¶
- 00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:36,591 Why am I still alive?
- 00:21:36,626 --> 00:21:38,087 Oh, God. Is there anything left?
- 00:21:38,122 --> 00:21:39,792 Hello? What is it?
- 00:21:39,827 --> 00:21:42,333 A relic... from a kinder past.
- 00:21:46,801 --> 00:21:49,505 Wait. Cowboys?
- 00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:50,605 Argh!
- 00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:57,447 ¶¶
- 00:21:58,846 --> 00:22:01,275 Christianity again?
- 00:22:01,310 --> 00:22:02,617 After Cowboys?
- 00:22:02,652 --> 00:22:04,520 You went all the way back around?
- 00:22:04,555 --> 00:22:06,489 Oh, God. Why can't I die?!
- 00:22:06,524 --> 00:22:11,153 This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone!