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Звёздные Морти: Возврикщение Джерри
Бет возглавляет группу повстанцев в борьбе против «новой и улучшенной» Галактической Федерации. После битвы за Бет ухаживает врач, который спрашивает её, скучает ли она по Земле, и она сообщает, что есть её клон на Земле (подтверждая, что Рик действительно клонировал Бет в «Азбуке Бет»). Затем врач обнаруживает взрывное устройство со встроенным устройством приближения к Земле на шее Бет, заставляя её поверить, что Рик не хочет, чтобы она возвращалась. На Земле Бет и Джерри идут на семейную консультацию к доктору Вонгу, в то время как Морти и Саммер борются из-за пояс невидимости Рика. Космическая Бет противостоит Рику из-за устройства на её шее. Рик говорит, что у другой Бет также есть взрывное устройство на шее, которое перенесёт воспоминания другой Бет в Космическую Бет, как только оно взорвётся. Затем Космическая Бет и Рик обедают вместе в ресторане, где Космическая Бет показывает, что теперь она является самым разыскиваемым преступником в галактике за борьбу с реформированной Галактической Федерацией. Затем Федерация прибывает на Землю в поисках Космической Бет. Реагируя на эту информацию, Рик случайно говорит, что Космическая Бет может быть клоном, и после того, как заморозил её, чтобы предотвратить её нападение на него, идёт в офис доктора Вонга, чтобы не дать Тэмми и её команде убить Бет и Джерри, приняв Бет за Космическую Бет. Рик спасает Бет и Джерри, и они встречаются с Космической Бет. Поскольку обе Бет теперь злятся на Рика из-за того, что он отказывается раскрыть, кто из них является клоном, на них снова нападает Тэмми, которая берёт их в плен и направляет их на корабль Федерации. Морти и Саммер вмешиваются, и Рик убивает Тэмми. Затем семья направляется на корабль, и Рик собирается освободить Бет, в то время как Морти и Саммер отключают его суперлазер, прежде чем он сможет уничтожить Землю. Бет убегают, поскольку Рик сталкивается с Птичьей (ныне Феникс) личностью, который почти убивает его, прежде чем его выключает Космическая Бет (с использованием Джерри марионеток и пояса невидимости). После этого Рик извлекает колбу памяти, содержащую его воспоминания о создании клона Бет, стерев свои собственные воспоминания о том, какая Бет является оригинальной. Никто в семье не хочет правды. Тем не менее Рик наблюдает за воспоминаниями только для того, чтобы узнать, что Бет попросила его решить для себя, хочет ли он её в своей жизни; его ответ заключался в том, чтобы использовать центрифугу для рандомизации Бет. Наконец, признав себе, что он «ужасный отец», Рик вместо этого пытается стать хорошим другом и исправить Феникс личность (останки которого он достал после битвы), но его агрессивно отвергает, поэтому он снова выключает его. Рик остаётся один. В сцене после титров Джерри бросает пояс-невидимку в мусор, только для того, чтобы сделать мусоровоз невидимым, в результате чего другая машина врезается в него и взрывается. После того, как водители в ужасе убегают, Джерри забирает невидимый мусоровоз для себя и становится линчевателем, пока в нём не кончится бензин, и он не бросает его, не сумев найти его топливный бак.
- 00:00:05,221 --> 00:00:07,070 Уводи нас отсюда! Я их задержу.
- 00:00:11,692 --> 00:00:12,852 Меня зовут Бет Смит.
- 00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:15,310 Передай своим боссам, что Ополчение ещё на плаву.
- 00:00:15,337 --> 00:00:16,597 Хорошо-хорошо.
- 00:00:16,624 --> 00:00:18,219 Ты станешь легендой, Блейд Смит.
- 00:00:18,347 --> 00:00:20,439 - Бет Смит. - Бет. Бет. Бет Смит.
- 00:00:20,466 --> 00:00:22,565 Боже, это же так просто...
- 00:00:22,592 --> 00:00:24,578 Я всё пытаюсь запомнить путём ассоциаций.
- 00:00:24,605 --> 00:00:26,179 Приплети его к желанию жить.
- 00:00:26,206 --> 00:00:28,257 Я знаю, знаю! Можно подумать, что сразу врежется в память,
- 00:00:28,258 --> 00:00:30,673 но всё дело в абсолютной забывчивости.
- 00:00:30,700 --> 00:00:33,004 О боже. М-м-мне очень жаль.
- 00:00:33,031 --> 00:00:35,252 Господи. Начинается на "Б"...
- 00:00:36,099 --> 00:00:37,945 Поздравляем ваш государственный бизнес или террористическую ячейку
- 00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:41,748 с покупкой Планетарного Уничтожителя NX-5 от компании Замазакс
- 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,467 в сотрудничестве с джинсами Рэнглер.
- 00:00:43,549 --> 00:00:44,811 Ведущие в отрасли
- 00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:48,294 тахионовые лучи NX-5 уничтожают планеты в два раза быстрее NX-4S
- 00:00:48,321 --> 00:00:50,851 за половину заряда, а в конструкции нет роковых изъянов.
- 00:00:50,852 --> 00:00:52,215 Всё верно. Больше никаких секретных отверстий,
- 00:00:52,216 --> 00:00:54,018 которые взрывают всю станцию при попадании выстрела.
- 00:00:54,019 --> 00:00:55,297 Враги скажут, что так нечестно.
- 00:00:55,324 --> 00:00:57,293 - А мы скажем, что давно пора. - Чёрт.
- 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:58,586 Мы рисковали жизнями ради этого?
- 00:00:58,613 --> 00:01:00,779 Ты сделала всё возможное. Может, пора тебе отдохнуть?
- 00:01:00,845 --> 00:01:02,569 - Не скучаешь по Земле? - Мне и не нужно скучать,
- 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:04,097 технически я всё ещё там.
- 00:01:04,124 --> 00:01:06,936 Мой отец создал идеального клона, который занял моё место.
- 00:01:06,963 --> 00:01:08,062 Ох уж этот Рик.
- 00:01:08,178 --> 00:01:11,043 А что будет с клоном, если ты вернёшься?
- 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,556 У него нет на шее устройства, которое реагирует
- 00:01:13,583 --> 00:01:15,472 - на твоё приближение? - Какая разница? Мы закончили?
- 00:01:15,499 --> 00:01:17,164 Да. Если не хочешь, чтобы я удалил
- 00:01:17,192 --> 00:01:19,442 из тебя устройство, которое реагирует на приближение.
- 00:01:20,805 --> 00:01:21,948 Может это бомба?
- 00:01:22,180 --> 00:01:25,236 Блин, а вдруг ты узнаешь, что он не ждёт твоего возвращения
- 00:01:25,263 --> 00:01:27,574 и любит клона больше, чем тебя?
- 00:01:27,601 --> 00:01:29,397 Просто безумие, да?
- 00:01:29,424 --> 00:01:31,188 Безумие, и конечно же дикая обида.
- 00:01:31,189 --> 00:01:33,157 Для тебя. У меня есть средство от этого.
- 00:01:33,158 --> 00:01:35,155 Хочешь? Не вызывает привыкание.
- 00:01:35,183 --> 00:01:36,950 Я соврал. Определённо вызывает.
- 00:01:36,977 --> 00:01:38,030 Я ужасный врач.
- 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,427 Но и от этого у меня есть средство.
- 00:01:39,428 --> 00:01:42,261 Хочешь? Не вызывает привыкание. Ммм.
- 00:01:42,289 --> 00:01:43,395 Я отличный врач.
- 00:02:15,692 --> 00:02:17,325 У доктора Вонг появилось окно.
- 00:02:17,352 --> 00:02:18,814 Кто хочет на семейный сеанс?
- 00:02:18,841 --> 00:02:20,063 - Я бы сходила. - Я-я с радостью.
- 00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:21,727 Не уверен, что успею закончить куклу для игровой терапии.
- 00:02:21,754 --> 00:02:25,364 Отлично. Она отдельно попросила, чтобы ты больше не приносил кукол. Пап?
- 00:02:25,391 --> 00:02:27,856 Обожаю психотерапию, особенной всей семьёй,
- 00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:31,094 но я распадаюсь на атомы.
- 00:02:31,337 --> 00:02:32,379 - Боже! - Папа!
- 00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:35,565 - Это правда? У нас получилось? - Пояс невидимости.
- 00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,840 Эй-эй-эй. Он их задел.
- 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:40,360 Заболит секунд через 10.
- 00:02:40,387 --> 00:02:42,358 - Спасибо, Морти. - Тебе значит можно его юзать?
- 00:02:42,359 --> 00:02:44,281 - А мне нельзя! - А мне можно?
- 00:02:44,308 --> 00:02:46,362 - Я бы побесила Морти. - Шикарная мысль.
- 00:02:46,363 --> 00:02:48,609 Какого чёрта? Козлина! Дай сюда!
- 00:02:49,733 --> 00:02:50,313 Эй!
- 00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:52,007 Поделись невидимостью. Джерри?
- 00:02:52,034 --> 00:02:55,347 Похоже, это работёнка для мистера Кусаки. Дай только приклею второй глаз.
- 00:02:55,374 --> 00:02:56,586 Я тебя убью!
- 00:02:57,243 --> 00:03:00,197 Ух. Похоже, что вы сейчас поругаетесь из-за неуправляемых детей.
- 00:03:00,224 --> 00:03:02,405 Как здорово, что у доктора Вонг окно. Пока.
- 00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:06,081 - Ты плохой отец. - Не позволяй ему ссорить нас.
- 00:03:06,616 --> 00:03:08,589 Гараж, режим семейной психотерапии.
- 00:03:10,185 --> 00:03:10,936 Фух.
- 00:03:14,263 --> 00:03:15,813 Милая, ты вернулась.
- 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,768 - Кажется, ты удивлён. - Ты не писала.
- 00:03:17,769 --> 00:03:19,140 И не взорвалась?
- 00:03:20,430 --> 00:03:23,720 Кажется, ты решила, что это бомба.
- 00:03:24,771 --> 00:03:26,970 Как и любой инженер, который это осмотрел.
- 00:03:26,997 --> 00:03:29,115 Инженер? Принцесса, пещерные люди
- 00:03:29,142 --> 00:03:31,143 при виде микроволновки назовут её шкафом для камней.
- 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:34,146 Суть изобретений в том, чтобы создавать то, чего нет.
- 00:03:38,028 --> 00:03:40,232 Тогда состряпай причину не убивать тебя.
- 00:03:40,756 --> 00:03:43,939 - Пап? Мы поехали к доктору Вонг. - Просканируй её.
- 00:03:45,296 --> 00:03:46,099 Пап?
- 00:03:47,829 --> 00:03:49,195 Не скучай там, тыковка.
- 00:03:49,222 --> 00:03:50,865 Прости, что я говно, а не отец.
- 00:03:50,892 --> 00:03:53,839 Ха-ха! Ненависть к себе многое прощает.
- 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:54,809 Джерри, оставь куклу.
- 00:03:54,836 --> 00:03:57,432 Но это гарантированный прогресс в отношениях.
- 00:03:57,497 --> 00:03:59,590 Устройство на шее должно было перенести
- 00:03:59,618 --> 00:04:02,499 базу её воспоминаний на твоё устройство, а затем испарило бы её.
- 00:04:02,526 --> 00:04:03,724 Но план профукан.
- 00:04:03,855 --> 00:04:05,374 Почему она... оно...
- 00:04:05,482 --> 00:04:06,967 Почему я снова с Джерри?
- 00:04:06,994 --> 00:04:09,554 - Она же вроде моя копия. - Она твоя копия.
- 00:04:09,581 --> 00:04:12,051 Раз она вернулась к этому баребуху, это твой косяк.
- 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:14,341 - Хочешь выпить? - Всегда хочу.
- 00:04:14,368 --> 00:04:15,000 Хорошая девочка.
- 00:04:33,338 --> 00:04:35,267 - Поймать хищника... - Какого хрена?
- 00:04:35,294 --> 00:04:37,694 Тепловизор, сучка. Мама сказала делиться.
- 00:04:37,721 --> 00:04:40,106 Невидимостью не поделишься. Снимай.
- 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:43,148 Нет.
- 00:04:46,856 --> 00:04:49,795 Тогда увидимся на тренировке чирлидерш? Мне принести пончо?
- 00:04:50,797 --> 00:04:52,547 Ладно! Твои условия?
- 00:04:52,574 --> 00:04:54,561 Верни пояс. Забирай тепловизор.
- 00:04:54,588 --> 00:04:56,492 Уходи. Через час обменяемся.
- 00:04:56,631 --> 00:04:57,527 Идёт.
- 00:04:59,447 --> 00:05:00,638 Как тебе такое, сучара?
- 00:05:00,665 --> 00:05:02,155 Уж получше старого пояса.
- 00:05:02,971 --> 00:05:05,599 - "Малыш крепыш младший"? - Надо было делиться.
- 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,236 Что ты делаешь в моём доме?
- 00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:12,013 Я отошла от приставки настолько далеко?
- 00:05:12,109 --> 00:05:13,788 Тут не хватает предупреждения.
- 00:05:14,602 --> 00:05:18,514 Мы перехватили управление воротами, и рабы-повстанцы захватили столицу.
- 00:05:18,515 --> 00:05:20,120 - Было круто. - Очень круто.
- 00:05:20,121 --> 00:05:22,231 У моей дочери космические приключения.
- 00:05:22,834 --> 00:05:26,161 Но они становятся похожи на "Звёздные Войны".
- 00:05:26,189 --> 00:05:27,233 Не забывай веселиться.
- 00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:29,365 Я прилетела, чтобы убить тебя, а не слушать замечания,
- 00:05:29,392 --> 00:05:31,634 но постараюсь почаще пердеть, пока спасаю галактику.
- 00:05:31,661 --> 00:05:33,464 Вообще-то это стало возможно благодаря мне.
- 00:05:33,465 --> 00:05:35,267 - Мы не соревнуемся. - Конечно нет.
- 00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:39,055 Но если бы соревновались, то звание самого разыскиваемого считалось бы первым местом?
- 00:05:41,010 --> 00:05:42,348 Ты борешься с громфломитами?
- 00:05:42,376 --> 00:05:44,149 Пап, они пытаются захватить галактику.
- 00:05:44,176 --> 00:05:46,577 Каждый в галактике пытается захватить галактику.
- 00:05:46,604 --> 00:05:49,349 Главное, чтобы тебя оставили в покое те, кому это удастся.
- 00:05:49,376 --> 00:05:51,019 Эх, у тебя фаза героя.
- 00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:52,819 У меня она тож была. Ты вырастешь из неё.
- 00:05:52,888 --> 00:05:53,558 Это ты вырос из неё.
- 00:05:53,828 --> 00:05:55,360 Я не дорасту до такого, чтобы положить на всё хрен.
- 00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,527 Наши источники сообщают, что пришельцы, называющие себя
- 00:05:57,554 --> 00:06:00,801 но-о-о-овой галактической федерацией, взорвут планету,
- 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,229 если какая-то женщина с очень скучными именем не сдаст себя.
- 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:04,435 - Да блин. - Вот и положила хрен.
- 00:06:04,462 --> 00:06:06,301 В следующий раз не клади его на родную планету.
- 00:06:06,431 --> 00:06:08,109 Вот срань! Они же выследят Бет.
- 00:06:08,136 --> 00:06:10,121 То есть... клона Бет.
- 00:06:10,455 --> 00:06:12,092 Да. Клона Бет.
- 00:06:12,682 --> 00:06:13,818 А... а я что сказал?
- 00:06:18,348 --> 00:06:20,100 Был очень рад повидаться.
- 00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:23,712 - Ву-у-у! Да! - Вперёд, Пчёлки!
- 00:06:23,897 --> 00:06:25,544 Девочки, тренировка отпад.
- 00:06:25,571 --> 00:06:27,525 Не забывайте, воду надо экономить,
- 00:06:27,552 --> 00:06:30,595 так что мойтесь большой группой в одно время.
- 00:06:32,799 --> 00:06:34,555 Пожар! В душе пожар!
- 00:06:34,582 --> 00:06:36,207 Отойдите, девочки! Я справлюсь!
- 00:06:42,541 --> 00:06:44,900 - Ну ты и мразота! - Не хочешь поделиться?
- 00:06:51,306 --> 00:06:52,904 Морти Смит, руки вверх!
- 00:06:52,962 --> 00:06:57,230 Ты арестован за преступления против Новой Улучшенной Галактической Федерации.
- 00:06:57,614 --> 00:06:59,186 Стоп. Что? Как ты это делаешь?
- 00:06:59,187 --> 00:07:00,551 Ты ведь не телепат?
- 00:07:00,552 --> 00:07:01,778 У тебя суперспособности?
- 00:07:01,805 --> 00:07:04,439 - Ну да. - Это мощные суперсилы?
- 00:07:04,564 --> 00:07:07,860 Мы просто ищем твою мать. Ты ведь не можешь остановить наши сердца?
- 00:07:07,887 --> 00:07:10,098 - Могу. - Ладно, мы сдаёмся.
- 00:07:10,373 --> 00:07:12,430 Джерри, ты согласен, что куклы
- 00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:14,264 выставляют тебя дурачком и безумцем?
- 00:07:14,291 --> 00:07:17,633 Не думаю, что "безумец" - уместное слово во время...
- 00:07:17,634 --> 00:07:20,240 Теперь уместное. Это безумие. Ты ведёшь себя безумно.
- 00:07:20,241 --> 00:07:21,805 А по телику так делают.
- 00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:24,900 А ещё по телику британцам дают призы за выпечку.
- 00:07:29,965 --> 00:07:31,760 - Тэмми? - Тоня? Тэммья? Тэммья.
- 00:07:31,787 --> 00:07:33,079 Здравствуйте, миссис Смит.
- 00:07:33,106 --> 00:07:34,601 Такая причёска мне нравится больше.
- 00:07:34,685 --> 00:07:36,061 - Как ваш живот? - Что?
- 00:07:36,786 --> 00:07:38,923 Эй! Я всего лишь сказал "эй"!
- 00:07:38,950 --> 00:07:40,848 А что мне ещё остаётся?
- 00:07:40,875 --> 00:07:42,207 Я бы очень хотела убить тебя,
- 00:07:42,234 --> 00:07:45,156 но у моего начальства есть несколько вопросов касательно Ополчения.
- 00:07:45,183 --> 00:07:48,383 Но у меня нет... У меня есть Ополчение?
- 00:07:48,658 --> 00:07:50,558 О боже, я - клон.
- 00:07:50,585 --> 00:07:51,780 И это твоё оправдание?
- 00:07:51,807 --> 00:07:53,742 Нет, моё оправдание - выкуси.
- 00:07:53,769 --> 00:07:56,569 Эй! Мы уже проходили через это.
- 00:07:56,596 --> 00:07:58,350 Я всего лишь сказал "Эй".
- 00:07:59,768 --> 00:08:01,739 Умные пушки, не стрелять по людям.
- 00:08:02,025 --> 00:08:03,377 И по терапевту.
- 00:08:09,908 --> 00:08:11,682 Тэмми, в этом кабинете моя семья работает над тем,
- 00:08:11,709 --> 00:08:13,808 - чтобы стать лучше. - И что, это типа святое место?
- 00:08:13,835 --> 00:08:15,364 Нет, это место, которое я напичкал средствами для побега
- 00:08:15,391 --> 00:08:17,361 на голосовом управлении.
- 00:08:17,972 --> 00:08:21,303 Какие хорошие замечания, мне надо как следует поработать над собой.
- 00:08:24,540 --> 00:08:25,799 Обсудим это?
- 00:08:25,826 --> 00:08:27,870 Я не обсуждаю проблемы, я их испепеляю.
- 00:08:27,897 --> 00:08:28,921 Все в корабль!
- 00:08:30,314 --> 00:08:32,204 Все из моей семьи, а не вообще все.
- 00:08:32,231 --> 00:08:33,825 Боже, Вонг. Краёв не видишь?
- 00:08:36,393 --> 00:08:38,297 Я выше этой профессии.
- 00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:43,191 А ты не можешь открыть портал?
- 00:08:43,192 --> 00:08:45,219 Джерри, у тебя там дети невидимые.
- 00:08:45,246 --> 00:08:47,397 "Открыть портал"? Посмотрите на отца года.
- 00:08:47,424 --> 00:08:50,070 Кто бы говорил. Ты же сказал, что клон не я.
- 00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:51,381 Т-ты не клон.
- 00:08:52,102 --> 00:08:54,745 - А это кто? - Э-э-эм... Это... Клон?
- 00:08:59,167 --> 00:09:02,284 Зачем создавать мой клон и отправлять его в космос?
- 00:09:02,311 --> 00:09:03,867 Ну, ты не захотела, и я подумал
- 00:09:03,945 --> 00:09:05,055 "Ладно, ничего".
- 00:09:05,082 --> 00:09:06,851 Но потом подумал "Было бы круче,
- 00:09:06,852 --> 00:09:09,540 если бы у меня была космо-дочь", и-и я её сделал.
- 00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:11,686 И я встроил бомбу ей в шею, на случай если она вернётся.
- 00:09:11,713 --> 00:09:13,894 - Отец года. - Она не должна была вернуться.
- 00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:14,667 Зачем она вернулась?
- 00:09:14,694 --> 00:09:16,707 Она нашла бомбу в шее. Ты бы не вернулась?
- 00:09:18,668 --> 00:09:20,355 - Отец года. - Заткнись!
- 00:09:20,564 --> 00:09:21,925 Я устала верить тебе на слово.
- 00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,507 - Я хочу поговорить с ней. - Не надо!
- 00:09:23,535 --> 00:09:25,740 - Джерри, сделай что-нибудь. - Эй.
- 00:09:31,116 --> 00:09:32,272 Он сказал мне, что ты клон.
- 00:09:32,273 --> 00:09:33,879 Как думаешь, что он сказал мне?
- 00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:36,603 - Что ты клон? - Ух ты, наивная и красивая.
- 00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:38,598 Ух ты, потрёпанная и сексуальная.
- 00:09:40,348 --> 00:09:41,382 Знаю, так поступают плохие родители,
- 00:09:41,383 --> 00:09:43,495 но если вы прекратите ссориться, мы сходим в МакДоналдс.
- 00:09:43,522 --> 00:09:46,187 А может я просто вышибу себе мозги, начиная с неё?
- 00:09:46,188 --> 00:09:47,699 Тогда в Вэндис. Мы же любим Вэндис.
- 00:09:47,726 --> 00:09:48,960 О-они нам вроде даже заплатили.
- 00:09:48,961 --> 00:09:50,290 - Брось оружие! - Ни с места! Лежать!
- 00:09:50,291 --> 00:09:51,994 На землю! На землю! Не двигаться!
- 00:09:52,021 --> 00:09:54,275 Закрыли рты! Орёте говно невпопад.
- 00:09:54,746 --> 00:09:56,809 Так значит, их правда две?
- 00:09:56,837 --> 00:10:00,504 - Самое главное, кто из них моя? - Никто, шовинист.
- 00:10:00,531 --> 00:10:02,117 Пофигу. Забирайте обеих.
- 00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:08,359 Клёвый луч, но давай поторгуемся.
- 00:10:08,386 --> 00:10:10,517 - На самом деле вам нужен я. - Чего?
- 00:10:10,544 --> 00:10:11,989 Алё, умнейший человек во вселенной?
- 00:10:12,016 --> 00:10:13,775 Секрет межпространственных путешествий?
- 00:10:13,803 --> 00:10:16,055 - Спроси у боссов. - Мои боссы - жуки, Рик.
- 00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:18,431 Старых ты убил. А новые в два раза моложе меня.
- 00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:22,270 Они знают, что ты не представляешь угрозы, если тебя не трогать.
- 00:10:22,438 --> 00:10:24,163 - У-у-уф! - Цель у нас.
- 00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,524 Запускайте NX-5.
- 00:10:25,894 --> 00:10:26,957 Земле пора бум-бум.
- 00:10:26,984 --> 00:10:29,564 А ты попробуй снова поискать себе новую вселенную,
- 00:10:29,591 --> 00:10:32,267 - где можешь отсосать у себя. - Не указывай мне, что делать.
- 00:10:32,268 --> 00:10:34,104 Круто. Он сопротивляется. Можно стрелять.
- 00:10:34,852 --> 00:10:36,446 - Что? - Действуй, Джерри!
- 00:10:36,668 --> 00:10:39,137 Всем бросить оружие!... кроме Джерри!
- 00:10:39,164 --> 00:10:40,622 Блять, ну классика.
- 00:10:45,059 --> 00:10:46,784 - Охренеть, Морти! - И Саммер.
- 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,829 М-мы работали вместе. Это... наша сюжетная арка.
- 00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:51,187 Сначала брат и сестра, потом невидимки, а потом работа вместе.
- 00:10:51,188 --> 00:10:52,991 Это не "Гражданин Кейн", но зачем
- 00:10:52,992 --> 00:10:54,830 соревноваться между собой?
- 00:11:01,135 --> 00:11:02,647 Ты заставила меня пойти на свадьбу.
- 00:11:04,528 --> 00:11:06,685 И убила моего лучшего друга. Надо было с этого начать.
- 00:11:06,712 --> 00:11:14,098 Земля, поздравляем с уничтожением от луча NX-5 при поддержке джинс Рэнглер.
- 00:11:18,603 --> 00:11:20,427 Похоже, самое разыскиваемое млекопитающее в галактике
- 00:11:20,455 --> 00:11:22,515 не может поменять подгузник без папиной помощи.
- 00:11:22,542 --> 00:11:26,929 Давайте, дети, придётся поучаствовать в злоебучих "Звёздных Войнах".
- 00:11:30,033 --> 00:11:31,772 Внимание, Зета 99-2.
- 00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:34,136 Мы знаем, что вы угнали корабль. Сдавайтесь.
- 00:11:34,163 --> 00:11:36,506 Ой, я вдруг начал представлять угрозу?
- 00:11:44,706 --> 00:11:46,407 Эй, посадка запрещена.
- 00:11:46,434 --> 00:11:49,594 - Мы откроем огонь. - Удерживать позиции! Вы станете героями.
- 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:56,452 Саммер, попробуй открыть дверь, просканировав дохлую рожу школьной подруги.
- 00:11:56,479 --> 00:11:59,449 - Мне... мне надо пописать. - Ссы на пол. Это Звезда Смерти.
- 00:11:59,476 --> 00:12:01,797 Да, но тут повстанцы, и ещё...
- 00:12:01,824 --> 00:12:03,361 - Держи, пап. - Отлично.
- 00:12:04,730 --> 00:12:06,008 Что я делаю не так?
- 00:12:06,036 --> 00:12:09,814 У неё глаза закрыты. Морти, открой левый, а я правый.
- 00:12:11,387 --> 00:12:13,401 Она умерла так же, как и жила - излишне драматично.
- 00:12:13,402 --> 00:12:15,854 Я спасу вашу маму и её клона, не раскрывая, кто есть кто.
- 00:12:15,881 --> 00:12:17,961 А вы найдите и вырубите NX-5.
- 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,684 Только не усирайтесь. Планет Земля бесконечно много.
- 00:12:19,711 --> 00:12:21,283 Спасёте эту - ништяк.
- 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,749 Команда мечты снова в деле!
- 00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:24,429 Да, мы как Люк и Лея.
- 00:12:24,456 --> 00:12:25,798 Только без поцелуев.
- 00:12:25,825 --> 00:12:27,293 Какие ещё есть знаменитые братья и сёстры?
- 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:29,859 - Гензель и Гретель? - Ну не, эти двое трахались.
- 00:12:29,929 --> 00:12:31,073 Пап, нам нужен пояс.
- 00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,455 Я не могу пописать, пока вы смотрите.
- 00:12:32,482 --> 00:12:34,821 - Ты невидимый. - А если видно мочу?
- 00:12:34,848 --> 00:12:36,892 А знаешь что? Не нужна нам невидимость.
- 00:12:36,934 --> 00:12:40,058 - Работа вместе и есть наш пояс. - Это наша арка. За дело.
- 00:12:40,085 --> 00:12:42,347 Я даже свистеть начну. Вот как мне здорово.
- 00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:49,653 О боже, я так и знал.
- 00:12:51,828 --> 00:12:54,044 Тут пол неровный.
- 00:12:56,281 --> 00:12:57,411 Нас будут пытать?
- 00:12:57,438 --> 00:12:59,439 Если ты не планируешь рассказать им то, что мне известно.
- 00:12:59,569 --> 00:13:01,411 Последний шанс угадать, кто был клоном.
- 00:13:01,557 --> 00:13:02,649 Ты его дочь.
- 00:13:02,787 --> 00:13:04,063 Я поняла по глазам
- 00:13:04,091 --> 00:13:06,873 и бессовестному отказу от семьи.
- 00:13:06,901 --> 00:13:08,859 Как мне теперь мириться с собой?
- 00:13:08,886 --> 00:13:11,661 Хотя есть теория... Твой отец создал меня, чтобы я смирилась с собой,
- 00:13:11,688 --> 00:13:13,176 а значит, ты сознательно
- 00:13:13,203 --> 00:13:15,748 проглотила свои мечты вместе с вином и макаронами в виде динозавров.
- 00:13:15,775 --> 00:13:17,359 Ты знаешь, что это Джерри их любит,
- 00:13:17,386 --> 00:13:19,688 а я знаю, что твоя главная мечта –
- 00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,106 это одобрение дерьмового отца.
- 00:13:21,108 --> 00:13:23,090 Ты дерьмовому отцу лимонад носишь
- 00:13:23,117 --> 00:13:25,121 Ты косплеишь дерьмого отца, когда ему было 30.
- 00:13:25,148 --> 00:13:26,601 Красная тревога. Красная тревога.
- 00:13:26,628 --> 00:13:28,037 Рик Санчез...
- 00:13:28,412 --> 00:13:30,577 Скорее напрасная тревога. Как вам?
- 00:13:30,578 --> 00:13:33,127 Есть ещё пара вариантов в заметках. Сейчас найду.
- 00:13:34,561 --> 00:13:37,862 Похрен. Бет, если... если одна из вас жива, ты и есть моя дочь.
- 00:13:37,889 --> 00:13:39,692 Если живы обе, то не калечь другую.
- 00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:41,633 Она просто клон, она того не стоит.
- 00:13:41,660 --> 00:13:42,561 Я иду, малышка.
- 00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:44,443 - Вот же говна кусок. - Вот же говна кусок.
- 00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:46,928 Я вернулась, чтобы убить его, кстати.
- 00:13:47,205 --> 00:13:48,232 Могу помочь.
- 00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:50,340 - Вмажь мне ногой промеж глаз. - Отсюда?
- 00:13:50,367 --> 00:13:53,472 А, ты бросила йогу, чтобы купить Джерри побольше витаминок с Флинстоунами...
- 00:13:57,723 --> 00:14:00,543 Не нравится мне эта огромная боевая арена.
- 00:14:07,285 --> 00:14:10,068 - Птичья Личность? - Теперь я Феникс Личность.
- 00:14:10,095 --> 00:14:12,836 Ты работаешь на них? Что они с тобой сделали, Птич?
- 00:14:12,863 --> 00:14:15,209 Я теперь Фен, а не Птич. Где Тэмми?
- 00:14:15,236 --> 00:14:16,903 А, не парься. Я её грохнул
- 00:14:18,264 --> 00:14:20,132 - Я любил её. - Правда?
- 00:14:20,133 --> 00:14:21,984 Тогда могу предложить тебе новое имя -
- 00:14:22,011 --> 00:14:23,629 Пизданутая Подкаблучная Личность.
- 00:14:38,605 --> 00:14:41,417 Забавно. Мне всегда было интересно, кто победит, если мы будем драться
- 00:14:41,418 --> 00:14:43,403 Значит, ты всегда был плохим другом.
- 00:14:51,856 --> 00:14:53,309 Морти, у нас была всего одна граната.
- 00:14:53,336 --> 00:14:55,218 - У него была пушка. - Пофиг. Пойдём.
- 00:14:56,823 --> 00:14:58,197 - Ты ничего не слышал? - Не важно.
- 00:14:58,224 --> 00:15:00,003 Если кто-то решит выключить лазер,
- 00:15:00,030 --> 00:15:01,814 то ничего не выйдет, ведь мы его заметим.
- 00:15:01,977 --> 00:15:03,368 Работа вместе и есть наш пояс?
- 00:15:03,395 --> 00:15:05,513 - Ты сама его отдала! - Ты сказал, что он нам не нужен.
- 00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:07,696 - Зачем ты вообще родился? - Родители тебя не планировали.
- 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:13,097 - А почему некоторые штаны... - NX-5 не уничтожает джинсы Рэнглер.
- 00:15:13,124 --> 00:15:16,586 Типа реально не может уничтожить или просто так запрограммировали?
- 00:15:16,613 --> 00:15:18,092 Ё-маё, а ты как думаешь?
- 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,808 Неплохо мочишь жуков для лошадиного хирурга.
- 00:15:52,835 --> 00:15:54,135 Спасибо, я.
- 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,613 Может, когда-нибудь сделаем, как в "Ловушке для родителей"?
- 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,445 Если только в версии с Линдси Лохан.
- 00:15:58,472 --> 00:15:59,537 Естественно.
- 00:16:01,848 --> 00:16:03,817 Как думаешь, зачем им столько джинс?
- 00:16:03,844 --> 00:16:06,199 - Может, из них куртки сошьют? - Тут дело не в экономии ткани,
- 00:16:06,226 --> 00:16:09,505 а в рекламе. Типа "NX-5 уничтожает целые планеты,
- 00:16:09,506 --> 00:16:11,003 кроме джинс Рэнглер."
- 00:16:11,031 --> 00:16:13,409 Потому что они такие прочные, что лазер не берёт?
- 00:16:13,436 --> 00:16:15,063 - Бред. - Ты сам поднял тему.
- 00:16:15,413 --> 00:16:17,197 Ты прав. Попался на удочку.
- 00:16:17,224 --> 00:16:18,356 Эй, я здесь. Смотрите!
- 00:16:18,383 --> 00:16:20,252 Ты видел пробегающего мимо пацана без штанов?
- 00:16:20,287 --> 00:16:21,485 Я не куплюсь во второй раз.
- 00:16:21,486 --> 00:16:23,519 Раньше я был невидимым, но теперь всё наоборот.
- 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,837 - Взять его. Только без пошлостей. - Ты сам всё опошлил.
- 00:16:32,037 --> 00:16:34,415 Обнаружен корпоративный спонсор NX-5.
- 00:16:34,443 --> 00:16:36,191 Невозможно порвать джинсы Рэнглер.
- 00:16:36,218 --> 00:16:37,435 Сшиты на века.
- 00:16:37,462 --> 00:16:39,839 Сшиты... на... века.
- 00:16:41,802 --> 00:16:43,676 Я их убил! Я-я сделал это за кадром.
- 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:46,217 Чёрт возьми. Морти, сделай что-нибудь с трусами. Я твои яйки увидела.
- 00:16:46,244 --> 00:16:47,480 Сама виновата.
- 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,078 Почему ты не знакомишь меня с родителями?
- 00:16:49,105 --> 00:16:51,495 - Стыдишься меня? - Нет, стыжусь их.
- 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,883 Не думал, что погибну вот так.
- 00:17:11,353 --> 00:17:14,035 Венеция вообще не рядом, да и ты далеко не карлик в дождевике.
- 00:17:18,115 --> 00:17:21,859 Отойди. Ты его не убьёшь, пока мы не надерём ему зад, Птичья Личность.
- 00:17:21,886 --> 00:17:23,881 Меня зовут Феникс Личность.
- 00:17:23,908 --> 00:17:25,258 Никто тебя так не называет. Бред.
- 00:17:25,285 --> 00:17:27,220 Поразительно, как вся семья может
- 00:17:27,221 --> 00:17:29,991 и иметь такую важную роль, и быть такой отстойной?
- 00:17:44,851 --> 00:17:46,412 Птичья Личность, остановись.
- 00:17:46,475 --> 00:17:48,660 Это я, та самая Тэмми.
- 00:17:48,688 --> 00:17:50,933 Тэмми, как неожиданно.
- 00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,571 Мне сказали, что ты погибла.
- 00:17:52,598 --> 00:17:55,519 Это аб-со-лютная неправда.
- 00:17:55,547 --> 00:17:58,327 Я живее всех живых, ха-ха!
- 00:17:58,543 --> 00:18:00,779 Ты очень странно себя ведёшь.
- 00:18:00,806 --> 00:18:03,239 Я? Странно? Боже.
- 00:18:03,266 --> 00:18:04,923 А кто сейчас ведёт себя нормально?
- 00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:07,558 Иди ко мне, долбоклюй пернатый.
- 00:18:07,559 --> 00:18:10,060 Возьми мою сладкую попку.
- 00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:20,866 Кукла всё же пригодилась.
- 00:18:20,893 --> 00:18:22,381 Хоть у кого-то достойная арка.
- 00:18:22,408 --> 00:18:23,799 У него бывают минуты славы.
- 00:18:23,826 --> 00:18:24,760 Мама, папа!
- 00:18:24,932 --> 00:18:26,878 Мама. Эм... У нас получилось!
- 00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:30,208 - Морти стал супер видимым. - Саммер запихнула мои джинсы в лазер.
- 00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,421 Морти, какие малюсенькие яички.
- 00:18:32,448 --> 00:18:34,539 - А то! - Обнимемся, ребята.
- 00:18:35,686 --> 00:18:37,493 Блин, у этой штуки сдвоенные турбины?
- 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,094 Если дашь порулить, то я закрою глаза на то, что ты нас бросила.
- 00:18:40,121 --> 00:18:41,650 Идёт. Хотя... я хотела дать тебе
- 00:18:41,677 --> 00:18:43,537 - космо-сигареты. - Классно иметь две мамы.
- 00:18:43,564 --> 00:18:46,295 - Классно иметь две жены. - Не видать тебе этого, Джерри.
- 00:18:46,385 --> 00:18:49,451 Ну что, бестолочи, готовы получить ответы на свои наболевшие вопросы?
- 00:18:49,502 --> 00:18:51,866 - Что это, пап? - Воспоминание о том, какая Бет настоящая,
- 00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:53,934 а какая клон, очевидно.
- 00:18:53,935 --> 00:18:55,639 Ты сделал себе мозговыносяшку? Ты...
- 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:58,774 ты правда не знаешь, какая дочь настоящая.
- 00:18:58,775 --> 00:19:00,479 Ну, естественно, кто бы сомневался?
- 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,139 Ты явно хочешь, чтобы мы изнемогали от желания узнать,
- 00:19:03,166 --> 00:19:04,996 но мне плевать, что в этой стекляшке.
- 00:19:05,023 --> 00:19:06,056 Да, мне тоже.
- 00:19:06,083 --> 00:19:07,310 В любом случае ты кусок говна.
- 00:19:07,337 --> 00:19:09,379 Значит, после всего этого вы не хотите узнать правду?
- 00:19:09,406 --> 00:19:11,511 Правда в том, что у нас есть дела поважнее,
- 00:19:11,538 --> 00:19:14,003 например, воспитывать детей или уничтожать Федерацию,
- 00:19:14,030 --> 00:19:17,101 причём ни то, ни другое никак не связано с тобой.
- 00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:23,284 Морти? Сам-сам? Вы-то хоть желаете узнать, кто ваша настоящая мама?
- 00:19:23,311 --> 00:19:24,212 Не очень, Рик.
- 00:19:24,239 --> 00:19:25,602 У нас теперь две крутые мамы.
- 00:19:25,629 --> 00:19:26,803 Все в выигрыше.
- 00:19:26,831 --> 00:19:28,748 Да, деда Рик, не втягивай нас в своё дерьмо,
- 00:19:28,775 --> 00:19:30,343 только потому что ты потерял контроль.
- 00:19:34,747 --> 00:19:36,274 Я знаю, что надо делать.
- 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:38,699 - Сам решай. - Что?
- 00:19:38,726 --> 00:19:41,514 Папа, хотя бы раз за свою жизнь, я хочу, чтобы ты сам решил.
- 00:19:41,541 --> 00:19:43,838 Хочешь, чтобы я осталась частью твоей жизни,
- 00:19:43,865 --> 00:19:45,597 или хочешь, чтобы я покинула её?
- 00:19:56,602 --> 00:20:02,151 Я знаю, ты сделал всё, что смог
- 00:20:05,924 --> 00:20:10,242 Теперь пора нам подвести итог.
- 00:20:10,269 --> 00:20:12,815 Хап хоу! Деньги на бочку,
- 00:20:12,816 --> 00:20:15,086 а глазки на дочку. Подменочка.
- 00:20:15,113 --> 00:20:16,364 Где какая?
- 00:20:19,493 --> 00:20:21,424 Твою мать, я ужасный отец.
- 00:20:26,301 --> 00:20:27,725 Но хороший друг.
- 00:20:30,068 --> 00:20:31,972 Похоже, что остались только мы с тобой, приятель.
- 00:20:35,594 --> 00:20:37,666 Хорошо, подожду ещё немного.
- 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:41,018 ...ты тянешь вниз за собой.
- 00:20:42,430 --> 00:20:44,568 За собой.
- 00:20:44,595 --> 00:20:51,212 Если уйдёшь, то я уйду с тобой.
- 00:20:53,956 --> 00:20:58,696 Не смотри назад, там лишь пустота.
- 00:21:29,878 --> 00:21:32,355 Ах. Прощай, старый друг.
- 00:21:32,519 --> 00:21:35,639 Было весело, но я готов снова стать видимым.
- 00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:41,461 - Какого хуя?! - О господи! Куда я пропал?
- 00:21:41,488 --> 00:21:42,992 Кабздец.
- 00:21:45,143 --> 00:21:47,204 Тормози! На дороге
- 00:21:47,231 --> 00:21:48,792 - невидимый мусоровоз! - Ну конечно.
- 00:21:52,534 --> 00:21:54,215 Я жив. Я выж...
- 00:21:57,930 --> 00:22:00,154 Ну... в чужой монастырь...
- 00:22:00,991 --> 00:22:04,022 Невидимый мусоровоз Джерри.
- 00:22:04,049 --> 00:22:06,368 Новая франшиза.
- 00:22:09,154 --> 00:22:12,195 Твоя работа - сношаться с незнакомцами
- 00:22:12,222 --> 00:22:13,507 и отдавать деньги мне, сучка.
- 00:22:13,534 --> 00:22:15,434 Прости за сучку. Это профессиональный термин,
- 00:22:15,461 --> 00:22:16,969 а не личное отношение к тебе.
- 00:22:17,347 --> 00:22:19,074 Какого... что... что...
- 00:22:20,693 --> 00:22:22,317 Кого-то тут надо зацепить?
- 00:22:22,345 --> 00:22:24,313 А теперь выкинем мусор.
- 00:22:24,651 --> 00:22:27,698 Невидимый мусоровоз Джерри.
- 00:22:27,725 --> 00:22:30,165 Новая франшиза.
- 00:22:30,386 --> 00:22:32,780 Пока у него есть бензин.
- 00:22:39,981 --> 00:22:41,171 Что ж, хорошие были времена.
- 00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:43,984 Переведено Сыендуком специально для "2х2".
- 00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:03,836 [ Gunfire, explosion ]
- 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:06,756 Get us out of here. I'll hold them off.
- 00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:09,050 [ Screaming ]
- 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,385 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,762 My name is Beth Smith.
- 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:14,972 Tell your top bugs the Defiance lives on.
- 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,265 I will. I will.
- 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:18,059 I'll make you a legend. Blade Smith.
- 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:19,018 Beth Smith.
- 00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,269 Beth. Beth. Beth Smith.
- 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:22,313 Okay. God. It's just such a plain --
- 00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:24,232 I'm trying to come up with a mnemonic device.
- 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,983 You could connect it to not dying.
- 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:26,817 I know, I know!
- 00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:28,236 You'd think that would sear it right in,
- 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,321 but it just speaks to the sheer forgettability.
- 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,241 Oh, God. I-I am so sorry, um --
- 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,952 Uh -- Oh, God. Starts with a --
- 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:37,495 <i>Congratulations</i> <i>to your government, business,</i>
- 00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,288 <i>or terror cell</i> <i>on its acquisition</i>
- 00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,290 <i>of the NX-5 Planet Remover</i> <i>by Xamazax</i>
- 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,125 <i>in partnership</i> <i>with Wrangler jeans.</i>
- 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:46,337 <i>The NX-5's industry-leading</i> <i>tachyon beams eliminate planets</i>
- 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,797 <i>twice as fast as the NX-4S</i>
- 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:50,508 <i>with half the battery and zero</i> <i>built-in fatal design flaws.</i>
- 00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,134 <i>That's right.</i> <i>No more secret hole</i>
- 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:53,719 <i>that blows the whole thing up</i> <i>when you shoot it.</i>
- 00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:54,845 <i>Your enemies will say</i> <i>it's unfair.</i>
- 00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,514 <i>We say it's about time.</i>
- 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,349 Damn it. We risked our lives for that?
- 00:00:58,475 --> 00:01:00,351 You did your best. Maybe you need a break.
- 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:02,186 -Don't you ever miss Earth? -I don't have to miss it.
- 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:03,729 I'm technically still there.
- 00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:06,691 My dad made a perfect clone of me to take my place.
- 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:07,817 Boy, that Rick.
- 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:10,736 So, if you do go back, what happens to the clone?
- 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:11,737 Does it have, like,
- 00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,906 a proximity-triggered device in its neck?
- 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,616 -Who cares? Are we done? -Sure.
- 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:16,993 Unless you want me to remove
- 00:01:17,119 --> 00:01:20,204 the proximity-triggered device from your neck.
- 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,664 Think it's a bomb?
- 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,374 Man, what if this is how you found out
- 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,001 he never wanted you back,
- 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,420 that he loved the clone more than you?
- 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:28,879 How crazy would that be?
- 00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,465 Crazy and of -- of course soul-crushing. For you.
- 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,800 I actually have something for that.
- 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,427 Y-You want some? They're nonaddictive.
- 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,429 That's not true. They're totally addictive.
- 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,680 I'm a terrible doctor.
- 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:39,140 I actually have something for that, too.
- 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,100 You want some? Nonaddictive.
- 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,394 Mmm! I'm a great doctor.
- 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,855 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,927 Dr. Wong had a cancellation today.
- 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,346 Anybody up for a family session?
- 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,680 -I could do that. -I'm -- I'm down to clown.
- 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,515 Not sure my therapy puppet will be done in time.
- 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:23,100 Great, because she specifically asked you
- 00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:24,977 to stop bringing puppets. Dad?
- 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,229 I love therapy -- family therapy most of all --
- 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:30,900 but I am actually disintegrating.
- 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:32,026 -Oh, my God! -Whoa! Dad!
- 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,861 Is that really it? We did it?
- 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,321 It's the invisibility belt.
- 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,698 [ Chair scraping ] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:38,699 He grazed them.
- 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,034 That's gonna hurt in like 10 seconds.
- 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,036 -Thanks, Morty. -Why should I let you use it?
- 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,746 -You never let me use it. -Can I have the belt?
- 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,790 -It would really piss off Morty. -Fantastic idea.
- 00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:47,875 What the hell?! You jerk! Give it!
- 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,377 [ Dishes clattering ]
- 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,420 -Hey! Ow! -Share the invisibility.
- 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:52,129 -Jerry? -JERRY: Ooh.
- 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,297 This looks like a job for Mr. Nibbles.
- 00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:54,757 Let me just glue one more eye on.
- 00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,884 I'm gonna kill you!
- 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,302 Oof. Looks like you two have to fight
- 00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,845 about why you can't control your kids.
- 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,389 Good thing Dr. Wong's got an opening.
- 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,224 Bye.
- 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,851 -You're a bad father. -Don't let him divide us!
- 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:09,230 Garage, family therapy mode.
- 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:11,065 Ah.
- 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,068 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,403 Honey! You're back.
- 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,654 You seem surprised.
- 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,365 -You never wrote. -And never exploded?
- 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,035 What I'm hearing is that you think that's a bomb.
- 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,745 [ Grunts ]
- 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,539 So does every engineer that's seen it.
- 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,666 Engineer? Princess, I'm sure every caveman
- 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,751 that sees a microwave calls it a rock cabinet.
- 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:34,255 The point of inventing is to make things that don't exist.
- 00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:35,798 [ Growling ]
- 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,842 [ Beeping ]
- 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,302 Then whip me up a reason not to kill you.
- 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,388 BETH: Dad, we're off to Dr. Wong's.
- 00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,557 Scan <i>her.</i>
- 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,392 [ Robotic voice ] Dad?
- 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,769 RICK'S VOICE: Okay. Have fun, pumpkin.
- 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,479 Sorry I'm a piece-of-shit father.
- 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:53,441 BETH: Oh! [ Laughs ] Well, the self-loathing buys a lot back.
- 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:54,608 Jerry, leave the puppet.
- 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,986 JERRY: It's a one-way ticket to a breakthrough, Beth.
- 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,280 The device in her neck <i>would</i> have transferred
- 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,990 a database of her memories to your device
- 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,158 before vaporizing her.
- 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,617 So much for that plan.
- 00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:06,412 Why is she -- it -- why am I back with Jerry?
- 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,164 I thought she was a copy of me.
- 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,248 She <i>is</i> a copy of you.
- 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,418 If she ran back to that dingleberry, that's on you.
- 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:13,878 -Want to grab a drink? -All the time.
- 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:14,962 Good girl.
- 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,131 [ Birds chirping ]
- 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,258 Ooh.
- 00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:26,640 [ Sniffs ]
- 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:32,938 [ Whirring ]
- 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,899 -MORTY: To catch a predator. -What the hell?!
- 00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,485 Thermal goggles, bitch. Mom said share!
- 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,737 You can't share invisibility. Take those off.
- 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,989 [ Both grunting ]
- 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,824 No!
- 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,995 So I'll just see you at cheerleader practice?
- 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,164 Should I bring a poncho?
- 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,957 MORTY: All right! State your terms.
- 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,168 Give back the belt. You take the goggles.
- 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,420 Go away. We trade in an hour.
- 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:58,214 Deal.
- 00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,466 -[ Glass shatters ] -How do you like that, bitch?
- 00:05:00,592 --> 00:05:02,676 I liked it more than my old belt.
- 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,261 "Tiny Big Man Junior"?
- 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,722 You should've shared.
- 00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:08,891 What are you doing in my house?
- 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,268 Did I wander that far from my console?
- 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:14,230 They should put a warning on these things.
- 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,773 SPACE BETH: So, we overrode the gates,
- 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:18,025 and the slave rebellion took the capital.
- 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,652 -Pretty cool. -Very cool.
- 00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,530 My daughter, having space adventures.
- 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,658 They are skewing a tad Star Wars-y, though.
- 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:26,867 Don't forget to have fun.
- 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,869 Well, I came back to murder you, not get your notes,
- 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,288 but I'll remember to fart more while I'm saving the galaxy.
- 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:33,207 Okay. I'm the one that made this possible.
- 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,959 -It's not a competition. -Of course not.
- 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,043 Just curious, though --
- 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,462 If it were, would "most wanted" be first place?
- 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,631 [ Whirring ]
- 00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,258 You're fighting the Gromflomites?
- 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,009 Dad, they're trying to take over the galaxy!
- 00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,303 Everybody in the galaxy tries to take over the galaxy.
- 00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:48,931 The trick is to be left alone by whoever succeeds.
- 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,641 Ah, it's your hero phase.
- 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,518 I had one, too. You'll outgrow it.
- 00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:53,561 No, <i>you</i> did.
- 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,062 I'm not gonna outgrow giving a shit.
- 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,231 <i>Sources tell us these aliens,</i> <i>who call themselves</i>
- 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,442 <i>the New Galactic Federation,</i> <i>will blow up the planet</i>
- 00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,820 <i>unless some woman with a very</i> <i>boring name gives herself up.</i>
- 00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:04,113 -Oh, come on. -Way to give a shit.
- 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,948 Next time, don't wipe it on your home planet.
- 00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,825 Oh, shit. They're gonna track down Beth.
- 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,702 You mean Beth's clone.
- 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,288 Right. Beth's clone.
- 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,164 What -- What did I say?
- 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,166 [ Indistinct conversations ]
- 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,835 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,045 It really was nice seeing you again.
- 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:21,589 Whoo!
- 00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,757 -[ All cheering ] -Yeah! Go, Honey Bees!
- 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,467 Good practice, girls!
- 00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,136 And remember, we are in a drought,
- 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:30,389 so be sure to shower as one big group at the exact same time.
- 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,558 [ Indistinct conversations, alarm ringing ]
- 00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,101 Shower fire! The shower's on fire!
- 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,603 Step aside, girls! I got this!
- 00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,980 [ Whimpering ]
- 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,108 [ Whimpering, breathing heavily ]
- 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,109 [ Grunts ]
- 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,527 You're a monster!
- 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,613 Still want to share?
- 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,656 [ Whirring ]
- 00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,618 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,494 <i>Morty Smith, hands up.</i>
- 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:55,039 <i>You are under arrest</i> <i>for crimes against</i>
- 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,291 <i>the New Improved</i> <i>Galactic Federation.</i>
- 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,001 <i>Wait. What?</i> <i>How are you doing that?</i>
- 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,378 <i>You're not psychic, are you?</i> <i>Do you have psychic powers?</i>
- 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:02,880 Uh, yes.
- 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:03,964 <i>Are they strong powers?</i>
- 00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:05,507 <i>We're just looking</i> <i>for your mother.</i>
- 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,551 <i>You can't, like,</i> <i>stop our hearts, can you?</i>
- 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,719 Uh, I can.
- 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:09,970 <i>Okay.</i> <i>We surrender.</i>
- 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,139 Jerry, do you agree that the use of puppets
- 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,058 makes you seem dumb and crazy?
- 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,476 [ High-pitched ] I don't think "crazy"
- 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,561 is a responsible word to use in --
- 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:20,064 It is now. This is crazy. You're being crazy.
- 00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:21,649 They do it in therapy on TV.
- 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,318 Well, TV gives British people prizes for baking, Jerry.
- 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,236 [ Explosion ]
- 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,530 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,492 -Tammy? -Tonya? Tammya. Tammya.
- 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,701 Hi, Mrs. Smith.
- 00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,203 I like your hair better this way.
- 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,621 -How's the stomach? -What?
- 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:36,997 -[ Grunts ] -Hey!
- 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,666 [ Grunts ] I only said "hey"!
- 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,834 It's not like I can do more than that.
- 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,336 As much as I'd like to kill you,
- 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,838 my superiors have some questions about the Defiance.
- 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:48,425 I don't have a -- I have a Defiance?
- 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,177 Oh, God. I'm a clone.
- 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,595 That's your defense?
- 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,347 No. My defense is eat me.
- 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,473 -Ow! -Hey! Aah!
- 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:59,561 We've been over this! All I do is say "hey"!
- 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,522 Smart guns, wait-list human life.
- 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:02,982 And the therapist.
- 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,150 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,614 Tammy, this is the office
- 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,366 where my family works to better itself.
- 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,534 What, and that makes it sacred?
- 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,202 No, it makes it a place I've rigged with a lot
- 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,204 of voice-activated escape contingencies.
- 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,872 [ Clears throat ] These are all good points.
- 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,582 I need to take a long look at myself.
- 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,292 [ Whirring ]
- 00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,211 [ Screams ]
- 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,714 -I'd like to discuss that. -I don't discuss problems.
- 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,757 I incinerate 'em. Everybody in the car.
- 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:29,925 [ Fire crackling ]
- 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,011 Everybody in my family, not the world.
- 00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,929 Jesus, Wong. Boundaries.
- 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,806 [ Whirring ]
- 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,267 I'm better than this job.
- 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,854 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,313 Can't you just make a portal?
- 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,065 Your children are down there invisible, Jerry.
- 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,067 "Make a portal"? Father of the year back here.
- 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,695 You're one to talk. You told me I wasn't a clone.
- 00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:51,447 RICK: Y-You're not a clone.
- 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:52,698 And who is that?
- 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,450 Uh -- Uh, a clone.
- 00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:55,909 [ Music continues ]
- 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:58,037 [ Woman screams ]
- 00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:00,414 Why would you make a clone of me
- 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,957 just to send the clone into space?
- 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,709 Well, you didn't want to go, and I thought,
- 00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:04,918 "Okay, that's cool."
- 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,129 But then I thought, "Well, you know what would be even cooler,
- 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,214 is a space daughter," s-so I made one.
- 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,258 And I put a bomb in her neck in case she ever came back.
- 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,259 Father of the year!
- 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:13,635 She wasn't supposed to come back!
- 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:14,386 Why did she?
- 00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:15,721 Well, she found a bomb in her neck.
- 00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:17,389 Wouldn't you?
- 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,017 -Father of the year. -Shut up!
- 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:22,436 I'm tired of believing you. I want to talk to her.
- 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,396 -No, you don't. [ Grunts ] -Jerry, do something!
- 00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:25,272 Hey.
- 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,071 He told me you're the clone.
- 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:34,573 -What do you think he told me? -You're the clone?
- 00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,325 Wow. Naive <i>and</i> attractive.
- 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,077 Wow. Jaded <i>and</i> hot.
- 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,244 RICK: [ Grunting ]
- 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,246 I know this is bad parenting,
- 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,915 but if you stop fighting, you both get McDonald's.
- 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,959 How about I just blow my brains out, starting with hers?
- 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,336 Okay, Wendy's. We love Wendy's.
- 00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:48,921 I-I think they even gave us some money.
- 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,881 -Drop it. Don't move! -Freeze! Get down!
- 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,591 -[ Indistinct shouting ] -Everybody, shut up!
- 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,468 You're all saying different shit!
- 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,136 Wait. So there <i>are</i> two of them?
- 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,806 More importantly, which one is mine?
- 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,432 Uh, neither, chauvinist.
- 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,476 Whatever. Take them both.
- 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,896 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,273 Cool beam. But let's bargain.
- 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,234 -I'm the one you really want. -Excuse me?
- 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,860 Uh, smartest man in the universe?
- 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,654 Secret to interdimensional travel?
- 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,823 -Ask your bosses. -My bosses are bugs, Rick.
- 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,325 You killed the old ones. The new ones are half my age.
- 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:22,037 They know if you're left alone, you're a non-threat.
- 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,831 -Oof-a! -We got the payload.
- 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,707 Fire up the NX-5.
- 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:26,750 Earth's going ta-ta.
- 00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:29,211 You might want to do that thing where you find a new universe
- 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,879 where you can suck yourself off.
- 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,589 -You can't tell me what to do. -Awesome.
- 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,383 He resisted. We can shoot him.
- 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,343 -Wha-- -Just go with it, Jerry.
- 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,804 Everybody, drop your guns -- except for Jerry!
- 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:41,390 Fucking classic.
- 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,517 [ Whirring, gunfire ]
- 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,395 -Holy shit! Morty! -And Summer!
- 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,480 W-We worked together! That's -- That's our arc!
- 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:51,066 SUMMER: We went from siblings to invisible to working together.
- 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:52,860 It's not "Citizen Kane," but why compete
- 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,154 with whatever's going on here, you know?
- 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,614 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,575 -[ Bone cracks ] -Aah!
- 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,619 You made me go to a wedding.
- 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,373 And you killed my best friend. I should've said that one first.
- 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:11,378 <i>Congratulations, Earth,</i> <i>on being destroyed by the NX-5,</i>
- 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,631 <i>brought to you by Wrangler.</i>
- 00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,133 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,218 [ Groans ]
- 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,179 Guess the galaxy's most-wanted mammal
- 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:22,181 needs her daddy to come change her diapie.
- 00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:23,182 Come on, kids.
- 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:26,852 We have to go do a fucking piece-of-shit "Star Wars."
- 00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:29,688 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,607 <i>Attention, Zeta 99-2.</i>
- 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,859 We know you have a stolen ship. Stand down.
- 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,737 Oh, am I not a non-threat now?
- 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:40,115 [ Grunting ]
- 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,368 [ Explosions ]
- 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,079 Hey, you are not cleared to land!
- 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:48,415 -We will open fire! -Hold your ground, men!
- 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,541 You'll be heroes!
- 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,129 Summer, try unlocking that door
- 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,006 by scanning your high-school friend's dead face.
- 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,591 Uh, I have -- I have to pee.
- 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,134 Pee on the floor. It's a Death Star.
- 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,470 Okay. But there's rebellion and then there's --
- 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:03,263 -Here, Dad. -Perfect.
- 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,099 -[ Buzzing ] -What am I doing wrong?
- 00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,392 Ugh. Her eyes are closed.
- 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,270 Morty, open the left one. I've got the right.
- 00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,773 She died the way she lived -- overserialized.
- 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,566 I'm gonna rescue your mom and her clone
- 00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:15,817 without revealing which is which.
- 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,653 You two find the NX-5 and shut it down.
- 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,321 I mean, don't die trying. There's infinite Earths.
- 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,114 If you can save this one, it's gravy.
- 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,532 Dream team rides again!
- 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,076 Oh, yeah. We're like Luke and Leia.
- 00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:25,577 Uh, except no kissing part.
- 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:26,995 What's another famous brother-sister team?
- 00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:27,996 Uh, Hansel and Gretel?
- 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:29,623 Yeah, right. Those two were fucking.
- 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:30,791 Dad, we need the belt.
- 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,125 JERRY: I can't go with you guys watching.
- 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,336 -You're invisible! -What if the pee isn't?
- 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,630 You know what? We don't need invisibility.
- 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,382 Working together is our belt.
- 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:39,633 That's our arc. Let's do it.
- 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,052 I'm gonna go ahead and whistle. That's how good I feel.
- 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,595 [ Whistling ]
- 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,768 JERRY: Oh, God. I knew it.
- 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,147 Ugh. This floor isn't level.
- 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,649 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,192 Are they gonna torture us?
- 00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,111 Unless you plan on telling them what I know.
- 00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,238 Last chance to guess who was the clone.
- 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,447 You're his daughter.
- 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:03,824 Something about the eyes,
- 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,618 the shameless abandonment of your family.
- 00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,453 How ever can I live with myself?
- 00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:11,248 One theory -- I was designed by your father to live with myself,
- 00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:12,958 which would mean you made a conscious choice
- 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:15,460 to swallow your dreams with cheap wine and dinosaur pasta.
- 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:17,004 You know that's the kind Jerry likes,
- 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,214 same way I know the only goddamn dream you'll ever follow
- 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,674 is your shitty father's approval.
- 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,676 You fetch your shitty father's lemonade.
- 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,678 You cosplay as your shitty father in his 30s.
- 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,096 <i>Red alert. Red alert.</i>
- 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,265 <i>Rick Sanchez --</i> <i>[ Choking ]</i>
- 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,392 RICK: <i>More like</i> dead <i>alert.</i> <i>What else? What else?</i>
- 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:31,727 <i>I wrote some stuff down</i> <i>in my Notes app.</i>
- 00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,937 <i>Let me just find it.</i>
- 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,523 <i>Screw it. Beth, if --</i> <i>if one of you is still alive,</i>
- 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,607 <i>you're my real daughter.</i>
- 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,526 <i>If you're both alive,</i> <i>don't hurt the other one.</i>
- 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,278 <i>She's just a clone.</i> <i>She's not worth it.</i>
- 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:42,362 <i>I'm coming, baby!</i>
- 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,698 -That piece of shit. -What a piece of shit.
- 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,533 I came back to kill him, you know.
- 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,701 I'd like to help.
- 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,828 -Kick me between my eyes. -From here?
- 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:50,871 Oh, you dropped yoga
- 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,123 so you could buy Jerry more Flintstones Vitam--
- 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,208 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:13:57,378 --> 00:14:00,422 Oh, I do not like the looks of this giant fight chamber.
- 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:02,883 [ Gas hissing ]
- 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,969 [ Whirring ]
- 00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:07,971 Bird Person?
- 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,639 It is now Phoenix Person.
- 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:12,601 You're working for them? What did they do to you, B.P.?
- 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,062 It is now P.P. Where is Tammy?
- 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,564 Oh, don't worry about her. I killed her.
- 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,066 I loved her.
- 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:19,900 Really? Huh.
- 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,693 Then can I suggest as an alternate name
- 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,320 Crazy Pussy-Whipped Person?
- 00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:24,738 [ Screams ]
- 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,198 [ Grunts ]
- 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,745 Aah!
- 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:35,499 [ Whirring, rattling ]
- 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,751 [ Grunts, coughs ]
- 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:41,004 It's funny. I always wondered who would win if we ever fought.
- 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,256 Then you were always a bad friend.
- 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,384 [ Whirring ]
- 00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,135 [ Grunts ]
- 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,223 Aah!
- 00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,808 Morty, we had one grenade.
- 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,893 -He had a gun. -Whatever. Come on.
- 00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,854 -Did you hear something? -Doesn't matter.
- 00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,940 If anyone's around, they're here to stop the laser,
- 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,608 and they can't do it without us seeing them.
- 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,068 "Working together is our belt"?
- 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,195 -You gave it away! -You said we didn't need it.
- 00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,280 -I wish you were never born. -Well, you were an accident!
- 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,157 [ Crowd screaming ]
- 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,492 How come some of the pants are --
- 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,869 The NX-5 can't destroy Wrangler jeans.
- 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:16,081 Like, it literally can't destroy them or it's programmed not to?
- 00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:18,333 Gee, what do <i>you</i> think?
- 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,919 [ Both grunting ]
- 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:24,131 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,511 [ Coughing ]
- 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,096 [ Grunts ]
- 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,390 [ Groans ]
- 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,600 [ Screeches ]
- 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,772 Aah!
- 00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:42,441 [ Music continues ]
- 00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,026 [ Alarm blaring ]
- 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,820 -Aah! -Oh!
- 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,488 [ Gasps ]
- 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,490 [ Grunts ]
- 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,325 You kill a good bug for a horse doctor.
- 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,660 Thanks, me.
- 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,370 Maybe we could do, like, a "Parent Trap" thing
- 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,371 together sometime.
- 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,123 As long as you mean the Lindsay Lohan version.
- 00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,166 Naturally.
- 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,501 [ Music continues ]
- 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,545 What do you think they do with all those jeans?
- 00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:04,546 Make them into jackets?
- 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,673 It's not about conserving denim. It's marketing.
- 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,717 Like, uh, "The NX-5 destroys the whole planet
- 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,469 except for the Wrangler jeans."
- 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:13,054 'Cause they're so tough. Tougher than the laser?
- 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,848 -Stupid. -You're talking about it.
- 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,516 You're right. They -- They got me.
- 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,893 Hey, over here! Look at me!
- 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,853 Did you just see a pantsless little boy run by?
- 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,271 I'm not falling for that again.
- 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:23,148 I used to be invisible, but now I'm the opposite!
- 00:16:23,274 --> 00:16:24,316 Get him! But not in a weird way.
- 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,650 You made it weird.
- 00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:28,487 [ Suspenseful music plays ]
- 00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:34,034 <i>NX-5 corporate sponsor</i> <i>detected.</i>
- 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,912 <i>Cannot penetrate Wranglers!</i> <i>Built too tough!</i>
- 00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:39,664 [ Distorting ] <i>Built...too...tough.</i>
- 00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,959 I killed them! I-I did -- I did it offscreen!
- 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,711 God damn it, Morty. Fix your underwear.
- 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:47,172 -I saw your balls for a second. -That's on you.
- 00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,799 Why can't I meet your parents? Are you embarrassed of me?
- 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,092 No. Of them.
- 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,093 <i>Aww.</i>
- 00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,054 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,473 [ Groans ]
- 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:57,891 [ Grunting ]
- 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,018 [ Metal clanging, electricity crackling ]
- 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,228 Aah!
- 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,647 [ Screeching ]
- 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:06,566 Aah!
- 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,235 [ Grunts ]
- 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,779 Never thought this was how I'd die.
- 00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,072 [ Slurps ] We're nowhere near Venice,
- 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,615 and you're not a dwarf in a raincoat.
- 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:14,908 [ Whirring ]
- 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:18,578 Step back.
- 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:21,456 You're not killing him till we kick his ass, Bird Person.
- 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,542 My name is Phoenix Person.
- 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:25,001 No one's calling you that. Dumb.
- 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,920 It fascinates me that an entire family
- 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:30,215 can be this critical and suck this much.
- 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:32,592 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,221 [ Grunts ]
- 00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,145 Aah! [ Groans ]
- 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:45,981 JERRY: [ High-pitched ] Bird Person, stop.
- 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:48,400 It's me, that Tammy girl.
- 00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,777 Tammy, this is unexpected.
- 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,320 I was told you were dead.
- 00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:55,115 That is <i>absolutely</i> not true.
- 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:58,326 I'm more alive than I've ever been!
- 00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,620 You are behaving rather strangely.
- 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,747 Me? Strange? Oh, my!
- 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,624 Well, who's normal, really?
- 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,252 Now, come here, you big hollow-boned featherhead.
- 00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:09,504 Let me give you some of this sweet ass.
- 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:12,007 Aah! [ Grunts ]
- 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,883 [ Screeching ]
- 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,678 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,638 [ Whirring, music stops ]
- 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,891 Saved the day with puppeting. Only one with a decent arc.
- 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,184 He does have his moments.
- 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,395 Mom, Dad...Mom.
- 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:27,647 Uh, we did it! Morty became super visible!
- 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,025 Summer put my jeans in a laser!
- 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,027 Morty, look at your little balls!
- 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:35,238 -I know! -Bring it in here, guys.
- 00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,324 Damn! This thing has twin turbines?
- 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,743 I'll forgive you for abandoning us if you let me drive it.
- 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:40,744 That works for me.
- 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,203 I was just gonna give you space cigarettes.
- 00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,789 -I love having two moms. -And <i>I</i> love having two wives!
- 00:18:44,915 --> 00:18:45,957 RICK: Never gonna happen, Jerry.
- 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,667 You jerk-offs ready to get the answers
- 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,294 to your burning questions?
- 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:50,337 What's this, Dad?
- 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,504 The memory of which Beth is real
- 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,465 and which Beth is a clone, obviously.
- 00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:55,675 You mind-blew yourself?
- 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,470 Y-You literally don't even know which of your daughters is real.
- 00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:00,096 Of course you don't. Why am I surprised?
- 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,932 I'm sure you'd love for us to need that from you,
- 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,601 but I don't care what's in that vial.
- 00:19:04,727 --> 00:19:05,727 Yeah. Me neither.
- 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,020 You're a piece of shit either way.
- 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,105 So what, after all this, you don't want to know the truth?
- 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,149 The truth is we have more important shit to do,
- 00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,693 like raise our kids and stamp out the Federation,
- 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:17,155 neither of which seem like they want anything to do with you.
- 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,658 [ Both laughing ]
- 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,034 Morty? Sum-Sum?
- 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,994 You got to at least want to know who your real mom is.
- 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,330 Not really, Rick. We have two badass moms now.
- 00:19:25,456 --> 00:19:27,082 -It's kind of a win/win. -Yeah, Grandpa Rick.
- 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,375 Don't drag us into your bullshit
- 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,460 just because you're losing control.
- 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,128 Enh.
- 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,339 [ Clicks, whirs ]
- 00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:37,008 I know what I want to do.
- 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:38,510 -I want you to decide. -What?
- 00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:41,179 For once in my life, I want you to decide, Dad.
- 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,640 Do you want me to stay here and be part of your life,
- 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,767 or do you want me to leave?
- 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:48,228 [ Down-tempo music plays ]
- 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,521 [ Hisses ]
- 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,944 [ Beeping, crackling ]
- 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,071 ♪ I know you tried ♪
- 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:02,367 ♪ I know you tried your best ♪
- 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,912 [ Sighs ]
- 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:09,582 ♪ And now it's time to put this all to rest ♪
- 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,460 <i>Hup! Ho!</i> <i>Big money, big money.</i>
- 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,796 <i>Eyes on the lady.</i> <i>Switcheroo.</i>
- 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,423 <i>Which one's which?</i>
- 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,967 [ Music continues ]
- 00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:21,803 Holy shit. I'm a terrible father.
- 00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:25,724 ♪ Oh, a distant... ♪
- 00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:27,767 At least I'm a pretty good friend.
- 00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,602 [ Burps ]
- 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,730 Looks like it's just you and me, buddy.
- 00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,064 [ Beep, whirring ]
- 00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,191 [ Screeching ]
- 00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,444 Okay. All right. We'll give you a little more time.
- 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:41,948 ♪ Tried to drag me down ♪
- 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,492 ♪ Down ♪
- 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:51,166 ♪ If you go, then I'm going with you now ♪
- 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:56,838 ♪ Don't look back ♪
- 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,673 ♪ Nothing left to see ♪
- 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:02,469 ♪ Just leave the shadows in the past ♪
- 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,804 ♪ If I let it go ♪
- 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:09,517 ♪ Can I shake this feeling? ♪
- 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,104 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
- 00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:15,940 ♪ Just like that ♪
- 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:21,154 ♪ Tomorrow's one day that I'm never getting back ♪
- 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,657 ♪ I can feel you, though ♪
- 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:29,329 ♪ Wake me from this dreaming ♪
- 00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:32,332 Ah. Goodbye, old friend.
- 00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:35,627 We've had our fun, but I'm ready to be seen again.
- 00:21:35,753 --> 00:21:37,045 [ Whirring ]
- 00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:38,963 [ Clattering ]
- 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:40,423 -MAN: What the fuck?! -MAN: Oh, my God!
- 00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:42,467 -Where did I go?! -Oh, shitskis.
- 00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:43,885 -[ Door opens ] -Aah!
- 00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,386 -[ Engine revving ] -Slow down!
- 00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:47,347 There's an invisible garbage truck in the road!
- 00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:48,431 Yeah, right.
- 00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:50,809 [ Fire crackling ]
- 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,686 I'm alive! I survi--
- 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,188 [ Explosion ]
- 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,357 [ Men screaming ]
- 00:21:57,483 --> 00:22:00,443 -I mean, when in Rome. -[ Up-tempo music plays ]
- 00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:03,780 ♪ Invisible Garbage Truck Jerry ♪
- 00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,865 ♪ It's a new franchise ♪
- 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,701 [ Motor humming ]
- 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:11,996 Bitch, your job is to have intercourse with strangers
- 00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:13,248 and give me the money.
- 00:22:13,374 --> 00:22:15,208 Sorry I called you a bitch. It's a vocational term.
- 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,960 It's not how I feel about you personally.
- 00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:19,754 -[ Whirring ] -What the -- What -- Aah!
- 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,965 -[ Window whirring ] -Somebody call for a pickup?
- 00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:24,175 Let's go take out the trash.
- 00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:27,262 ♪ Invisible Garbage Truck Jerry ♪
- 00:22:27,388 --> 00:22:29,889 ♪ It's a new franchise ♪
- 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:32,892 ♪ Until he runs out of gas ♪
- 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,854 [ Birds chirping, vehicles passing ]
- 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:41,484 [ Sighs ] Well, we had a good run.