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Рик и Морти приходят в сознание и узнают, что их разум контролировали обхватывающие лицо инопланетные паразиты, называемые Глорзо. Не имея воспоминаний о времени, когда они были носителями, они привязывают мёртвых Глорзо к своим лицам и узнают, что Глорзо создали сложное общество. Полагая, что они пытаются использовать корабль Рика для создания супероружия, которое распространит их на Землю, Рику и Морти удаётся улететь с астероида, являющегося домом Глорзо, вызывая массовые разрушения на своём пути. Однако, вернувшись домой, они узнают, что Саммер была с ними на миссии, и они оставили её. Они возвращаются на астероид, чтобы спасти её, но обнаруживают, что она не носитель Глорзо и ей поклоняются как богине. Саммер объясняет, что после того, как Рик и Морти попали под контроль Глорзо, она была спасена из-за зубочистки во рту, которая не позволяла паразитам цепляться к её лицу. Она убедила Глорзо реформировать своё общество, воздерживаясь от их обычной практики постоянного воспроизводства (процесс, который убивает как их самих, так и тела носителей, которые разрываются, когда они откладывают яйца). Рик и Морти схвачены, и Саммер неловко импровизирует план побега, приговаривая их к наказанию, вернуться на корабль, а затем пытается присоединиться к ним. Глорзо становятся враждебными, но Рик использует специально настроенную музыкальную ноту, которая заставляет Глорзо непроизвольно откладывать яйца, массово убивая их. Когда они умирают, несколько Глорзо обвиняют троицу в их уничтожении за попытку продвинуть свою цивилизацию. По возвращении домой Рик и Морти начинают чувствовать сильную боль в животе. Опасаясь, что они вот-вот отложат яйца, они прощаются друг с другом, но это оказывается обычное испражнение. В сцене после титров подруга Саммер, Триша, замечает новое увлечение Джерри пчеловодством, выражая всё больше и больше интриги, пока не понимает, что он её сексуально влечёт.
- 00:00:25,243 --> 00:00:26,342 Господи!
- 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,087 Твою мать!
- 00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:29,375 Что... что это за дрянь?!
- 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:30,301 А я по-твоему знаю?
- 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,394 Я лишь помню, как сидел в пещере
- 00:00:32,419 --> 00:00:34,743 и смотрел на какое-то мокрое яйцо... А, вот в чём дело.
- 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:36,353 Я же говорил тебе не смотреть на яйцо.
- 00:00:36,506 --> 00:00:37,317 О-оно было слишком мокрым.
- 00:00:37,342 --> 00:00:38,856 Не указывай, на что я могу смотреть.
- 00:00:38,881 --> 00:00:40,055 Я видел твой аккаунт на Порнхабе.
- 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:41,355 И зачем вообще создавать аккаунт на Порнхабе?
- 00:00:41,380 --> 00:00:43,555 Так алгоритм лучше запоминает предпочтения.
- 00:00:43,580 --> 00:00:46,029 К тому же, если у тебя классные отношения с партнёром,
- 00:00:46,054 --> 00:00:47,327 то можно подписаться
- 00:00:47,352 --> 00:00:48,951 и следить за фетишами друг у друга.
- 00:00:48,976 --> 00:00:50,396 Ладно, блин, убедил.
- 00:00:50,421 --> 00:00:52,067 - Как нам отсюда выбраться? - Морти, расслабься.
- 00:00:52,092 --> 00:00:53,201 Это паразиты, которые цепляются за лицо.
- 00:00:53,226 --> 00:00:56,121 Вряд ли мы заблудимся в их обществе.
- 00:00:57,917 --> 00:01:00,930 Ладно, возможно будет сложнее, чем я думал.
- 00:01:01,244 --> 00:01:03,633 Охренеть! У них есть магазин Эм-эн-Эмс.
- 00:01:37,981 --> 00:01:40,139 Это плохо, Рик. Э-э-э-э-э-это очень плохо.
- 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:41,034 Успокойся, Морти.
- 00:01:41,061 --> 00:01:44,072 Нам просто надо смешаться с толпой, найти корабль и валить отсюда.
- 00:01:44,937 --> 00:01:46,783 В общем, Морти, план таков - цепляй эту штуку обратно на лицо.
- 00:01:46,808 --> 00:01:49,629 - Я-я не надену её на лицо! - Успокойся, она дохлая.
- 00:01:51,857 --> 00:01:52,900 Вот теперь дохлая.
- 00:01:52,994 --> 00:01:54,037 Давай, в темпе.
- 00:01:55,808 --> 00:01:57,976 Рик, о-она кровоточит. П-причём кислотой.
- 00:01:58,003 --> 00:01:59,466 Теперь точно сдохла.
- 00:01:59,493 --> 00:02:01,676 А если нет, то дёрни меня за руку пару раз.
- 00:02:05,856 --> 00:02:07,533 Похоже на цикл саморазрушения.
- 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:08,897 И нас это ждёт?
- 00:02:08,924 --> 00:02:10,353 Ты чувствуешь яйца в животе?
- 00:02:10,501 --> 00:02:12,698 - Нет. - Стакан наполовину полон.
- 00:02:13,636 --> 00:02:14,636 - Как дела? - Здаров.
- 00:02:14,663 --> 00:02:16,087 - Слава Глорзо. - Точняк.
- 00:02:16,114 --> 00:02:16,933 Обожаю Глорзо.
- 00:02:17,151 --> 00:02:18,628 Глорзо - это мир.
- 00:02:18,776 --> 00:02:20,549 Мир - это Глорзо.
- 00:02:20,577 --> 00:02:22,838 Ну и ну. Просто винтики в колесе.
- 00:02:22,865 --> 00:02:24,600 - З-заставляет задуматься... - Да, Морти, уверен, что ты снимешь
- 00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:26,881 об этом прекрасную короткометражку, которую оплатят твои родители,
- 00:02:26,906 --> 00:02:28,593 но сейчас нам нужно найти мой корабль.
- 00:02:28,618 --> 00:02:30,166 Ты точно не завидуешь?
- 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:32,366 Похоже, я здесь какая-то знаменитость.
- 00:02:32,392 --> 00:02:34,269 Будущее - это Глорзо!
- 00:02:34,294 --> 00:02:37,032 О боже. Я только что читал про вас.
- 00:02:37,251 --> 00:02:39,641 Поздравляю с попаданием в печатные издания.
- 00:02:39,669 --> 00:02:40,701 Там тебя ждёт яркое будущее.
- 00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:43,120 Если честно, то удивительно видеть вас двоих вместе.
- 00:02:43,203 --> 00:02:45,238 Потому что мы оба гении?
- 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:48,507 Нет, потому что я видел твои видео, и от тебя блевать тянет.
- 00:02:48,714 --> 00:02:49,757 Исправить его.
- 00:02:52,593 --> 00:02:53,586 Слава Глорзо.
- 00:02:53,613 --> 00:02:55,163 Сэр, не стоит бродить где попало.
- 00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:56,437 Мы вас повсюду искали.
- 00:02:56,465 --> 00:02:58,115 Проект ждёт вашего одобрения.
- 00:02:58,203 --> 00:03:01,374 - Сэр, этот человек беспокоит вас? - Нет, в-всё нормально.
- 00:03:01,401 --> 00:03:03,318 А что... что за проект?
- 00:03:03,345 --> 00:03:05,463 Господи боже, кем я нахрен был?
- 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,976 Есть один научный факт, о котором мне нельзя говорить...
- 00:03:09,221 --> 00:03:13,407 Наши носители биологически устроены так, что они выводят наши яйца.
- 00:03:13,433 --> 00:03:15,541 Если вас это задевает, то идите нахрен.
- 00:03:15,566 --> 00:03:17,384 А если нет, то ставьте лайки и подписывайтесь.
- 00:03:17,409 --> 00:03:18,797 Новые видосы каждый Глорзедельник.
- 00:03:19,446 --> 00:03:20,678 Боже, я хоть был богатым?
- 00:03:20,703 --> 00:03:22,548 М-м-может, я хотя бы продался
- 00:03:22,573 --> 00:03:23,968 и торговал витаминами?
- 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,419 Рик, я достаточно просидел на Порнхабе,
- 00:03:25,445 --> 00:03:26,969 чтобы знать, как выглядит квартира-студия.
- 00:03:26,994 --> 00:03:28,037 Твою мать.
- 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:30,649 Боже, а твой Глорзо не страдал хернёй.
- 00:03:30,917 --> 00:03:33,394 Повелитель, мы ждём вашей команды.
- 00:03:33,744 --> 00:03:34,787 В смысле...
- 00:03:34,832 --> 00:03:36,582 стрелять? В-в людей?
- 00:03:36,609 --> 00:03:37,981 Глорзо это мир.
- 00:03:38,008 --> 00:03:39,603 Все должны стать Глорзо.
- 00:03:39,631 --> 00:03:40,907 Слава Глорзо.
- 00:03:41,644 --> 00:03:42,975 Это сделал я?
- 00:03:43,002 --> 00:03:46,211 Вы и потрясающие технологии, которые вы оба предоставили.
- 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,036 Оно и понятно.
- 00:03:48,063 --> 00:03:50,516 А-а куда эта штука летела? На Землю? Наверное, на Землю?
- 00:03:50,544 --> 00:03:51,984 Люди называют планету "Землёй".
- 00:03:52,042 --> 00:03:54,250 Так, понятно. Во-первых, отличная работа.
- 00:03:54,275 --> 00:03:56,285 Видно, что вы постарались.
- 00:03:56,312 --> 00:03:57,889 - Ну да. - И это видно.
- 00:03:57,917 --> 00:03:59,420 В-вот прям видно. Но...
- 00:03:59,927 --> 00:04:01,257 я-я тут подумал, ну и в общем,
- 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,883 может, лучше всё отменить?
- 00:04:03,525 --> 00:04:06,077 - Простите... вы хотели что-то добавить? - Да нет.
- 00:04:06,104 --> 00:04:08,333 Думаю, что... это всё.
- 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:09,791 Не надо глорзить Землю.
- 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:14,023 Лучше бы вы сказали об этом раньше,
- 00:04:14,131 --> 00:04:15,633 тогда весь день не прошёл впустую.
- 00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:17,884 Ну, я вообще-то тоже узнал об этом только что.
- 00:04:17,912 --> 00:04:20,836 - Это был ваш приказ. - Да. Э-это так, и...
- 00:04:20,863 --> 00:04:22,675 Просто в следующий раз лучше вам подумать как следует,
- 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:23,902 а то весь полетит в...
- 00:04:23,929 --> 00:04:26,524 Ладно, прости, что заставил вас делать свою работу целый грёбаный день!
- 00:04:26,549 --> 00:04:27,646 А то вы были так заняты,
- 00:04:27,671 --> 00:04:29,500 - но вдруг пришёл я и всё вам обосрал. - Ё-моё.
- 00:04:29,525 --> 00:04:31,860 Хоть этот чувак и гений, но... какой ценой, да?
- 00:04:31,887 --> 00:04:34,605 - Да иди ты нахрен, Рик! - Какой ещё Рик?
- 00:04:35,257 --> 00:04:36,722 В общем, если можно задавать вопросы,
- 00:04:36,747 --> 00:04:39,634 то почему вы не моргали минут двадцать,
- 00:04:39,661 --> 00:04:42,878 и почему ваш рот не двигается, когда вы говорите?
- 00:04:45,822 --> 00:04:47,237 Блин, посмотри на меня.
- 00:04:47,262 --> 00:04:49,133 Я-я упал на... на... на пол.
- 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,538 Ой, дай-ка... дай-ка я помогу... помогу тебе, приятель.
- 00:04:51,563 --> 00:04:53,474 Спасибо. Спасибо, дружище. Правильно.
- 00:04:53,499 --> 00:04:56,985 Я прямо... вот здесь... в седле.
- 00:05:00,145 --> 00:05:01,611 Ай, нахер! Бежим!
- 00:05:24,398 --> 00:05:26,177 Капец как мне всё это не нравится!
- 00:05:26,202 --> 00:05:28,939 Спасибо за отзыв, Морти. Ты очень помогаешь.
- 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:35,659 - Твою мать! - Блин.
- 00:05:36,741 --> 00:05:38,115 Какой же здоровый город.
- 00:05:38,210 --> 00:05:39,454 Типа выбери занятие по жизни.
- 00:05:39,479 --> 00:05:41,608 Ты кто, лицехват или промышленник?
- 00:05:44,573 --> 00:05:46,560 Блин, а здорово, когда нет чувства вины, да?
- 00:05:46,586 --> 00:05:48,052 Ну да, как... в "Звёздных Войнах".
- 00:05:48,079 --> 00:05:50,129 Да, как в "Звёздных Войнах". Флаг вам в руки.
- 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,923 Неплохо, Морти! Закричи "йии-ха", если хочешь.
- 00:05:56,948 --> 00:05:58,856 А то... а то всегда кричат "йии-хаа", как ковбои.
- 00:05:58,881 --> 00:06:00,972 - Йии... йиии-хааа... йиии-хааа. - Сойдёт.
- 00:06:11,946 --> 00:06:12,865 Боже, как мне это нужно.
- 00:06:12,892 --> 00:06:14,555 Если честно, то я давно уже
- 00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:15,689 не отрывался, понимаешь?
- 00:06:15,714 --> 00:06:16,854 Не веселился.
- 00:06:16,879 --> 00:06:18,867 П-п-п-прости, что отыгрывался на тебе.
- 00:06:18,894 --> 00:06:21,037 Я всё понимаю. Тебе приходится нелегко, амиго.
- 00:06:21,064 --> 00:06:23,697 Т-ты бы почаще говорил со мной об этом.
- 00:06:23,722 --> 00:06:25,381 - Я-я-я же твой напарник. - Спасибо, Морти.
- 00:06:25,406 --> 00:06:26,565 Я серьёзно. Спасибо.
- 00:06:26,592 --> 00:06:28,202 Иногда я зарываюсь к себе в голову.
- 00:06:28,229 --> 00:06:29,927 Слушай, в голове бывает здорово.
- 00:06:29,954 --> 00:06:32,031 Только не забывай пускать меня туда.
- 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,505 Хорошо, приятель. Охеренно.
- 00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,064 Боже, как это весело.
- 00:06:40,091 --> 00:06:42,552 - Не хочу прекращать. - Как будто лопаешь пузырчатую плёнку.
- 00:06:52,552 --> 00:06:54,430 Я даже горд, что мы продолжаем.
- 00:06:54,455 --> 00:06:55,785 Да. А то прослыли бы дешёвками.
- 00:06:55,812 --> 00:06:58,500 Ага, будто низко-висящий фрукт. Мы выше этого.
- 00:07:01,032 --> 00:07:02,636 С другой стороны Пёрл-Харбор...
- 00:07:02,662 --> 00:07:04,453 Да, думаю можно.
- 00:07:08,994 --> 00:07:10,347 Я - бог смерти!
- 00:07:10,372 --> 00:07:12,220 Жаль, что вы такой поганый вид!
- 00:07:19,075 --> 00:07:21,280 Вы сделали одиннадцатое сентября?
- 00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,731 Практически.
- 00:07:22,758 --> 00:07:24,256 Мы... мы выбрали Пёрл-Харбор.
- 00:07:24,330 --> 00:07:25,397 Довольно изящно.
- 00:07:25,585 --> 00:07:28,788 - Почему вообще были такие варианты? - Спроси у саудовцев.
- 00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:31,223 - Нифига себе. - Да, вот тебе политика.
- 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,074 Я обсуждаю политику. А что насчёт тебя, Джерри?
- 00:07:33,099 --> 00:07:35,329 Что добавишь в модель семейных отношений?
- 00:07:35,463 --> 00:07:37,543 Я вот занялся пчеловодством.
- 00:07:41,257 --> 00:07:42,544 А что, нельзя?
- 00:07:42,781 --> 00:07:43,874 Нельзя что ли?
- 00:07:43,901 --> 00:07:46,177 Я не заслуживаю счастья? И жизни?
- 00:07:46,208 --> 00:07:47,494 Извините, что не сотворил Пёрл-Харбор
- 00:07:47,519 --> 00:07:50,087 одиннадцатого сентября до завтрака, но у меня тоже есть жизнь!
- 00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:51,854 - И мечты! - Ну а Саммер?
- 00:07:51,882 --> 00:07:52,995 Ей тоже было весело?
- 00:07:56,474 --> 00:07:59,238 - Саммер... была... - С нами.
- 00:07:59,698 --> 00:08:00,525 Там.
- 00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:03,338 Ты видела, как мы сажали её в тачку.
- 00:08:03,365 --> 00:08:05,740 - Ну да. - Да, да, конечно.
- 00:08:05,767 --> 00:08:06,893 Т-так всё и было.
- 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,718 - А теперь она... - Спит.
- 00:08:08,877 --> 00:08:10,609 Она... она спит.
- 00:08:10,894 --> 00:08:11,893 Крепко спит.
- 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,630 - Поэтому её нет с нами. - Крепко спит.
- 00:08:13,814 --> 00:08:16,057 Она спит? Что это была за фигня?
- 00:08:16,084 --> 00:08:18,362 - Ты вообще не помогал! - Обосраться ничем не лучше,
- 00:08:18,389 --> 00:08:20,830 - чем не обосраться! - Где Саммер?
- 00:08:24,146 --> 00:08:26,177 Вот блин.
- 00:08:26,204 --> 00:08:27,914 А может она слишком жёстко разделалась с этими ребятами?
- 00:08:27,939 --> 00:08:29,164 Как думаешь, почему не возвращаемся
- 00:08:29,189 --> 00:08:30,228 туда, где уже были?
- 00:08:30,255 --> 00:08:31,672 Сколько приключений у нас могло бы быть
- 00:08:31,697 --> 00:08:33,538 на планете Судной Ночи? А в Мире Шестерёнок?
- 00:08:33,565 --> 00:08:35,300 Никаких сиквелов. Вот что называется цельность.
- 00:08:35,325 --> 00:08:36,467 Вот, надень эту штуку на лицо.
- 00:08:36,492 --> 00:08:38,574 - Ты её оставил? - Ой, а ты хочешь новую?
- 00:08:41,311 --> 00:08:42,212 - Чё как? - Йоу.
- 00:08:42,239 --> 00:08:43,999 Вашу мать! Это они.
- 00:08:44,026 --> 00:08:46,224 Самое ужасное, что было в нашей жизни!
- 00:08:46,251 --> 00:08:47,560 Оно и понятно.
- 00:08:47,587 --> 00:08:49,675 Извини, Морти, мы пытались по-хорошему. Пора пожестить.
- 00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:52,467 Рикпьютер, запустить излишне-понторезную смену костюма.
- 00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:05,530 Лизнём киски!
- 00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:14,202 А мы не должны искать Саммер?
- 00:09:14,227 --> 00:09:16,501 Блин, точняк. Извини. Опять меня занесло.
- 00:09:16,526 --> 00:09:18,470 Боже, мне надо принимать больше глицина,
- 00:09:18,495 --> 00:09:20,249 или я наоборот с ним перегибаю.
- 00:09:28,648 --> 00:09:30,408 Блин, зря я снарядил сюда мечи.
- 00:09:30,435 --> 00:09:32,240 Ну да. Запястью дико болят.
- 00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:34,383 В следующий раз огнемёты.
- 00:09:34,776 --> 00:09:35,896 Можно мне лазерный кнут?
- 00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:38,440 Ладно, но ты по-любому отрубишь себе член.
- 00:09:40,556 --> 00:09:42,408 Сам Сам, идём с нами, если хочешь жить...
- 00:09:42,954 --> 00:09:46,253 в более низком уровне жизни. Блин.
- 00:09:46,366 --> 00:09:48,321 Всё в порядке, императрица?
- 00:09:49,286 --> 00:09:50,554 Взять их!
- 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,105 - Взять их?! - Что?
- 00:09:52,132 --> 00:09:53,842 - Саммер, ах ты сука! - Да ты издеваешься!
- 00:09:54,417 --> 00:09:57,371 Не знает никто, что я повидал.
- 00:09:57,887 --> 00:09:58,930 Знаешь эту песню, Рик?
- 00:09:59,060 --> 00:10:00,441 Это из... Короче, её заключённые поют.
- 00:10:00,466 --> 00:10:01,607 Морти, да твою ж мать.
- 00:10:01,632 --> 00:10:04,469 Я мотаю срок. И мотать его я могу, как захочу.
- 00:10:06,595 --> 00:10:08,283 Воу, воу, воу, воу, воу, приятель! Эй, эй, эй!
- 00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,569 Не здесь! Не здесь!
- 00:10:10,534 --> 00:10:11,604 Дай сюда.
- 00:10:13,432 --> 00:10:14,475 Оставьте нас.
- 00:10:16,285 --> 00:10:17,366 И хер ли вы так долго?!
- 00:10:17,393 --> 00:10:19,323 - Вы меня кинули. - Мы не знали, что ты была с нами!
- 00:10:19,348 --> 00:10:21,345 Вы хоть представляете, сколько я дерьма повидала?
- 00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,608 Саммер, на тебе накидка. Неужто всё так плохо?
- 00:10:23,672 --> 00:10:25,873 С накидкой не бывает плохого конца.
- 00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:29,057 Да что ты вообще знаешь о моей истории?
- 00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:34,497 "Я задалась вопросом, действительно ли Гархул мог поглотить живое солнце,
- 00:10:34,524 --> 00:10:37,432 или я просто приближалась к Гархулу?
- 00:10:37,459 --> 00:10:39,006 Может, Гархул поглощал меня?"
- 00:10:39,034 --> 00:10:40,554 Рик, может, послушаем что-то другое?
- 00:10:40,581 --> 00:10:42,087 Тихо! Она сейчас призовёт Гархула.
- 00:10:42,112 --> 00:10:44,022 Саммер, она уже три серии талдычит
- 00:10:44,047 --> 00:10:45,254 про призыв Гархула.
- 00:10:45,279 --> 00:10:47,112 Минуточку, что это у тебя во рту?
- 00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:48,117 Зубочистка.
- 00:10:48,144 --> 00:10:50,192 Я теперь хожу с зубочисткой, привыкайте.
- 00:10:50,219 --> 00:10:52,245 Боже, тебе так необходима фишка?
- 00:10:52,272 --> 00:10:54,051 Это моя фишка.
- 00:10:54,078 --> 00:10:57,169 Как у тебя - сдохнуть в одиночестве, а у тебя - теребонькать.
- 00:10:57,197 --> 00:11:00,006 По крайней мере, это соответствует моему характеру.
- 00:11:00,031 --> 00:11:02,513 Я люблю теребонькать. Мне 14. Есть такой грех.
- 00:11:02,540 --> 00:11:03,851 - Я тоже теребонькаю! - Господи боже,
- 00:11:03,876 --> 00:11:05,410 - я не хочу думать об этой херне. - Так, хватит. Саммер, пусть
- 00:11:05,435 --> 00:11:06,190 - будет зубочистка. - Гадость!
- 00:11:06,217 --> 00:11:08,089 Морти, перестань разговаривать со своей сестрой о теребоньканье.
- 00:11:08,114 --> 00:11:10,147 Сделайте вид, что подкасты это не скучно.
- 00:11:13,544 --> 00:11:15,448 Ничего себе, Морти, смотри, какое мокрое яйцо!
- 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:17,419 Не знаю, Рик. По-моему, слишком мокрое.
- 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:18,783 - Н-не трогай его. - Я его потрогаю.
- 00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:20,256 Зачем вы орёте на яйцо?
- 00:11:20,281 --> 00:11:21,753 Заткнись, Саммер! Не мешай смотреть на яйцо!
- 00:11:21,778 --> 00:11:23,061 Да, Саммер, хлебало завали.
- 00:11:23,086 --> 00:11:24,067 Никому ты здесь не нужна.
- 00:11:24,094 --> 00:11:25,551 Иногда нам нравится отправляться в приключение
- 00:11:25,576 --> 00:11:27,429 - и смотреть на мокрые яйца, ясно? - Может пойдём?
- 00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,793 У меня мурашки по коже от этого места.
- 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:31,227 - Охеренно. Крутое яйцо. - Эй, смотри, моё тоже так может.
- 00:11:31,254 --> 00:11:32,620 Вы уверены, что это не опасно?
- 00:11:34,004 --> 00:11:35,154 Боже мой!
- 00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:40,950 Глорзо есть всё.
- 00:11:44,949 --> 00:11:46,529 Глорзо есть всё.
- 00:11:49,354 --> 00:11:50,397 - Бог. - Бог.
- 00:11:50,504 --> 00:11:52,533 Бог? У неё зубочистка.
- 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:55,061 Вытащите её, а лицо засуньте в яйцо.
- 00:11:55,086 --> 00:11:55,721 - Бог. - Бог.
- 00:11:55,746 --> 00:11:58,097 Вашу мать, сколько вас высиживали?
- 00:11:58,124 --> 00:11:59,154 30 секунд?
- 00:11:59,181 --> 00:12:01,323 Я живу уже семь минут.
- 00:12:01,478 --> 00:12:03,894 - Думайте, прежде чем... - Прошу прощения, семь минут?
- 00:12:03,922 --> 00:12:06,270 Я здесь уже 29 минут.
- 00:12:06,297 --> 00:12:08,294 Но да, вытащите зубочистку из её рта.
- 00:12:08,321 --> 00:12:11,999 Живо присоситесь к её лицу, а тело используйте, чтобы...
- 00:12:15,955 --> 00:12:16,960 Что это было?
- 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:19,087 Это называется ответственность.
- 00:12:19,282 --> 00:12:21,276 Он был частью нашего величайшего поколения.
- 00:12:21,303 --> 00:12:24,519 Он понимал, что в этой жизни нужно присосаться к лицу,
- 00:12:24,546 --> 00:12:26,122 высрать яйцо и умереть.
- 00:12:26,149 --> 00:12:29,122 Стоп, значит, вы живёте по полчаса, высираете яйцо и умираете?
- 00:12:29,198 --> 00:12:30,809 Да. Мы это любим.
- 00:12:30,836 --> 00:12:32,221 Я сделаю это прямо сейчас.
- 00:12:36,201 --> 00:12:38,573 Так, вам необязательно меня слушать,
- 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,482 но я за то, чтобы вы этого не делали?
- 00:12:40,574 --> 00:12:42,689 Кто готов к изменениям?
- 00:12:51,264 --> 00:12:55,011 Глорзо рождаются из чьих-то яиц,
- 00:12:55,038 --> 00:12:57,689 это наша участь.
- 00:12:57,952 --> 00:13:01,854 Мне пора яйцо отложить и умереть,
- 00:13:01,881 --> 00:13:09,051 но Саммер решила сказать: "Глорзо хочет, чтобы вы остались."
- 00:13:09,078 --> 00:13:12,047 Слава Глорзо
- 00:13:12,074 --> 00:13:15,568 это и моя слава.
- 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:16,901 Как раса Глорзо станет
- 00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:21,531 свободной лишь от высиживания?
- 00:13:21,558 --> 00:13:23,984 Слушайте, во мне эта хрень копилась уже долго.
- 00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:26,835 Этими словами я не выиграю состязание по популярности,
- 00:13:26,862 --> 00:13:29,213 но... вот таким я вижу мир.
- 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,488 Насколько нам известно, всё что мы знаем -
- 00:13:32,513 --> 00:13:36,432 эту хрень мы придумали сами.
- 00:13:36,512 --> 00:13:39,381 Слава Глорзо
- 00:13:39,409 --> 00:13:42,534 это и моя слава.
- 00:13:42,561 --> 00:13:46,655 Слушайте, мы созданы, чтобы присасываться к лицам и откладывать яйца.
- 00:13:47,119 --> 00:13:49,531 Такова жизнь, и так она протекает.
- 00:13:56,092 --> 00:13:57,535 Привет, Трой. Привет, Джез.
- 00:13:57,562 --> 00:13:59,728 - Как дела? - Очень хорошо, коммандер.
- 00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,121 Завтра всё будет готово.
- 00:14:01,148 --> 00:14:02,582 Рад это слышать.
- 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:04,613 Хорошая работа, слава Глорзо.
- 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,475 Не знаю, как тебя и благодарить, Саммер.
- 00:14:07,753 --> 00:14:10,328 При нашей первой встрече мы просто срали яйцами в пещере,
- 00:14:10,353 --> 00:14:13,462 но ты показала нам, что жизнь это нечто большее.
- 00:14:13,489 --> 00:14:14,725 Надо наслаждаться жизнью.
- 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,844 А с этими ракетами,
- 00:14:16,966 --> 00:14:19,690 мы доберёмся до любых уголков вселенной.
- 00:14:19,718 --> 00:14:23,644 Мы постоянно так говорим, но видимо Глорзо есть всё.
- 00:14:23,672 --> 00:14:24,858 Да, звучит неплохо.
- 00:14:24,974 --> 00:14:26,647 - И вы молодцы. - Да.
- 00:14:26,675 --> 00:14:28,544 Вы такие молодцы, что я тут подумала,
- 00:14:28,569 --> 00:14:30,839 может, вам пора слезть с моего брата?
- 00:14:31,009 --> 00:14:32,541 А кто твой брат?
- 00:14:32,756 --> 00:14:33,584 А, этот?
- 00:14:33,725 --> 00:14:35,181 Я и забыл, что он здесь.
- 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,783 Погоди. Так что ты говорила?
- 00:14:36,808 --> 00:14:38,521 Всё было здорово, Стив,
- 00:14:38,546 --> 00:14:41,101 но мы думаем, что пора открыть новую главу.
- 00:14:41,129 --> 00:14:43,226 - Мы? - Это Шейн.
- 00:14:43,254 --> 00:14:44,735 Рутинные дела теперь на нём.
- 00:14:44,762 --> 00:14:46,249 Это честь познакомиться с вами, сэр.
- 00:14:46,274 --> 00:14:49,382 Пусть мне всего две минуты от роду, но я знаю, что вы - легенда.
- 00:14:50,319 --> 00:14:51,616 Ей плевать на нас.
- 00:14:51,643 --> 00:14:53,704 Она просто хочет вернуть своего хренова носителя.
- 00:14:53,731 --> 00:14:56,183 - Я не знаю, что делать. - Теперь тебе нужна моя помощь?
- 00:14:56,210 --> 00:14:58,724 - Поздновато. - Ну же, чувак. Ну, что за херня?
- 00:14:58,751 --> 00:15:00,085 Не надо так со мной.
- 00:15:00,112 --> 00:15:02,627 - Мы же оба росли в яйцах. - Давай без этой херни.
- 00:15:02,654 --> 00:15:04,259 Да, да, да, теперь ты зауважал
- 00:15:04,286 --> 00:15:06,138 биологическую структуру?
- 00:15:06,165 --> 00:15:09,882 Иди нахер. Тебя заботит лишь прогресс, общество и небоскрёбы.
- 00:15:09,907 --> 00:15:11,538 А на биологию тебе насрать.
- 00:15:11,565 --> 00:15:12,950 Чего ты сказал?
- 00:15:12,977 --> 00:15:15,765 Ты... А почему ты до сих пор не отложил яйцо в старика?
- 00:15:15,792 --> 00:15:16,881 Потому что я делаю, что хочу.
- 00:15:16,906 --> 00:15:18,645 Потому что кто-то должен поступить правильно.
- 00:15:18,670 --> 00:15:21,465 - Почему ты её так ненавидишь? - Потому что она забрала тебя у меня!
- 00:15:23,453 --> 00:15:25,236 Блин. Господи боже.
- 00:15:25,263 --> 00:15:27,547 - Нет, я-я не... - Эй-эй-эй,
- 00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:29,238 всё нормально.
- 00:15:30,248 --> 00:15:31,571 У меня те же чувства.
- 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,234 О боже. Вот бы...
- 00:15:38,639 --> 00:15:40,185 вот бы присосаться друг к другу.
- 00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:42,762 - Я тоже хочу присосаться к тебе. - Я так к тебе присосусь!
- 00:15:42,789 --> 00:15:44,526 - Присосись ко мне! - А-а-а-а можно?
- 00:15:44,553 --> 00:15:47,481 - Р-р-разве можно так делать? - Мне плевать. Я просто хочу тебя.
- 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:48,899 Нахер это всё.
- 00:15:48,926 --> 00:15:50,366 Давай просто свалим отсюда
- 00:15:50,394 --> 00:15:52,092 и станем теми, кем хотим.
- 00:15:52,422 --> 00:15:54,886 Это эволюция. Это прогресс.
- 00:15:55,033 --> 00:15:57,321 Я хочу семью. Мы можем завести семью?
- 00:15:57,547 --> 00:15:58,646 Да.
- 00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:16,450 О боже.
- 00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:17,899 Вашу мать.
- 00:16:17,926 --> 00:16:20,677 - Что... что это за дрянь? - А я по-твоему знаю?
- 00:16:20,704 --> 00:16:22,687 Эй, секундочку. Откуда ты знаешь, что было потом?
- 00:16:22,712 --> 00:16:24,600 - Тебя там не было. - Я сама додумалась.
- 00:16:24,627 --> 00:16:26,995 В офисе все знали про Стива и Брюса.
- 00:16:27,022 --> 00:16:29,580 У меня есть план вообще-то. Так что слушайтесь меня.
- 00:16:31,006 --> 00:16:32,894 Наказание -
- 00:16:33,111 --> 00:16:34,767 - смерть. - Да твою ж...! Саммер!
- 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,514 - Ты сказала, что у тебя есть план! - Тишина.
- 00:16:36,539 --> 00:16:38,761 Совет Глорзо сказал своё слово.
- 00:16:38,788 --> 00:16:40,325 Скорее, совет говна.
- 00:16:40,352 --> 00:16:42,263 Глорзо - это закон - Тишина.
- 00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:44,194 Наказание - смерть.
- 00:16:45,115 --> 00:16:47,635 Через... запрыгивание в тачку.
- 00:16:47,662 --> 00:16:48,873 - Саммер? - Заткнись.
- 00:16:49,202 --> 00:16:52,082 Да, посадите их в тачку.
- 00:16:52,148 --> 00:16:53,271 Этих говнюков.
- 00:16:53,298 --> 00:16:54,926 Нет, нет, нет! Это как пытка.
- 00:16:54,953 --> 00:16:57,122 Нет, я-я-я-я-я ненавижу сидеть в тачке!
- 00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:59,405 Вы это заслужили, куски говна.
- 00:16:59,672 --> 00:17:01,905 А чтобы убедиться в исполнении приговора,
- 00:17:01,932 --> 00:17:03,404 я присоединюсь к ним.
- 00:17:03,736 --> 00:17:04,778 В тачке.
- 00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:08,297 Мы уедем отсюда и умрём.
- 00:17:08,325 --> 00:17:09,967 Короче.
- 00:17:09,994 --> 00:17:11,214 Знаете, что я вам скажу?
- 00:17:11,241 --> 00:17:13,941 Это я, тот нытик, которого вы никогда не слушаете.
- 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:17,256 Она хочет сбежать со своей семьёй. Настал мой звёздный час.
- 00:17:17,284 --> 00:17:18,416 Казнить её.
- 00:17:18,702 --> 00:17:20,703 Ладно, план Б. Давай, Морти.
- 00:17:25,064 --> 00:17:26,685 Господи, Морти, ну и херня.
- 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,968 Ладно, хватит играть, Морти. Дальше я сам.
- 00:17:37,366 --> 00:17:39,484 Вот что мы получили за эволюцию?
- 00:17:39,511 --> 00:17:41,149 Простите! Извините.
- 00:17:41,564 --> 00:17:43,902 Мне жаль. Мы-мы-мы думали, что вы злые.
- 00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:45,053 С чего это вдруг?
- 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,550 У нас на огромной башне горела надпись "Глорзо это мир."
- 00:17:48,577 --> 00:17:50,879 Я знаю. Может... может нам помочь?
- 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,419 - Бу-у! - Помошничек нашёлся.
- 00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,814 Понял. Валим. Мы поехали.
- 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,356 - Вы... вы просто уезжаете? - Вы сами сказали валить.
- 00:17:57,383 --> 00:17:59,570 Ещё раз простите за то, что они сделали.
- 00:17:59,597 --> 00:18:01,028 Ты тоже причастна. Бу-у-у!
- 00:18:01,055 --> 00:18:03,016 Тебя мы ненавидим больше всех. Валите.
- 00:18:04,726 --> 00:18:06,335 Господи, Саммер, почему ты позволила этим гадам
- 00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:08,865 - сидеть на нас так долго? - У меня было много работы.
- 00:18:08,892 --> 00:18:11,260 В следующий раз дайте мне дослушать подкаст.
- 00:18:16,403 --> 00:18:17,664 Как в перчатку.
- 00:18:20,111 --> 00:18:21,809 Прикольное яйцо.
- 00:18:27,503 --> 00:18:29,490 Так, я не буду убирать эту херню.
- 00:18:36,730 --> 00:18:39,224 Может... может об этом не стоит никому рассказывать?
- 00:18:39,249 --> 00:18:40,770 Мы усвоили хоть какой-то урок?
- 00:18:40,797 --> 00:18:42,921 Что мы говно и все остальные говно?
- 00:18:43,087 --> 00:18:44,640 Сойдёт наверное.
- 00:18:46,072 --> 00:18:47,138 Покеда, засранцы.
- 00:18:47,165 --> 00:18:48,314 Зовите в следующий раз.
- 00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:52,941 Рик, я понимаю, что ты хочешь броситься
- 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:55,645 в новое безумное приключение, но может, просто расслабимся
- 00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:57,483 и посмотрим межпространственное кабельное?
- 00:18:57,508 --> 00:18:59,550 - Я только "за". - По-моему, хорошая мысль.
- 00:18:59,575 --> 00:19:01,378 Н-необязательно каждый раз рвать анусы.
- 00:19:01,405 --> 00:19:03,150 Давай расслабимся и поболтаем.
- 00:19:03,177 --> 00:19:05,262 - Вот что мне нравится в нас. - Мне тоже, приятель.
- 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,217 Вас беспокоит Альцгеймер?
- 00:19:07,244 --> 00:19:08,985 Вас беспокоит Альцгеймер?
- 00:19:09,012 --> 00:19:10,867 Вас беспокоит Альцгеймер?
- 00:19:10,894 --> 00:19:12,188 Вас беспокоит Альцгеймер?
- 00:19:12,215 --> 00:19:13,598 - Реджи? - Вас беспокоит Альцгеймер?
- 00:19:13,623 --> 00:19:15,356 Реджи, ты в порядке?
- 00:19:15,383 --> 00:19:17,935 Рик, ты чувствуешь...
- 00:19:17,962 --> 00:19:20,170 Боже, мне надо высрать яйцо.
- 00:19:20,197 --> 00:19:21,296 Боже, что за нахер?
- 00:19:21,323 --> 00:19:22,803 Больно. Господи,
- 00:19:22,830 --> 00:19:24,675 - Рик, мы умрём вот так? - Я не знаю, Морти.
- 00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:26,541 - Так мы умрём?! - Я не знаю!
- 00:19:26,568 --> 00:19:28,140 - Я не хочу высирать яйцо, Рик! - Прости, Морти.
- 00:19:28,165 --> 00:19:30,299 Прости! Это моя вина! Я виноват!
- 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:31,276 Эй, вы двое...
- 00:19:31,301 --> 00:19:33,728 Бет, твой сын умирает. Попрощайся с ним.
- 00:19:33,755 --> 00:19:36,182 - Что вы... - Попрощайся со своим мальчиком.
- 00:19:36,207 --> 00:19:37,166 Нет, отвернись!
- 00:19:37,193 --> 00:19:39,895 Мам, я сейчас снесу яйцо. Я снесу яйцо.
- 00:19:39,922 --> 00:19:41,890 Ты говорил, что в этом году будешь держать меня в курсе.
- 00:19:41,915 --> 00:19:43,920 Отвернись, Бет! Папочка любит тебя.
- 00:19:44,239 --> 00:19:45,762 Моя жопа! Моя жопа!
- 00:19:45,789 --> 00:19:46,836 Вот оно, Морти!
- 00:19:46,887 --> 00:19:49,332 Мы прошли полный круг с пилота. Полный круг!
- 00:19:55,616 --> 00:19:56,728 Наверное...
- 00:19:56,897 --> 00:19:59,811 - наверное, нам обоим надо посрать. - Да, н-н-наверное...
- 00:19:59,975 --> 00:20:01,141 Пипец какая гадость.
- 00:20:01,168 --> 00:20:02,867 Убирайте.
- 00:20:36,797 --> 00:20:39,515 Посмотри на своего отца. Такой дурашка с этими пчёлами.
- 00:20:41,315 --> 00:20:43,368 Ну, то есть... это хотя бы интересно.
- 00:20:43,505 --> 00:20:45,903 Вот бы... мой отец занялся пчеловодством.
- 00:20:47,263 --> 00:20:48,660 Это довольно мило.
- 00:20:48,685 --> 00:20:51,554 Типа... батя занимается пчёлами.
- 00:20:53,578 --> 00:20:55,021 Сколько твоему отцу?
- 00:20:55,923 --> 00:20:57,978 Наверняка у него возраст пчеловода.
- 00:21:00,324 --> 00:21:03,054 Не знаю, по-моему, это миленько.
- 00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:08,231 - Саммер, я хочу трахнуть твоего отца. - Серьёзно?
- 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:04,253 [ Suspenseful music plays ]
- 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,976 -Aah, aah! -[ Screeches ]
- 00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,108 Oh, my God.
- 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:27,443 Holy shit. Oh.
- 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:28,694 What are -- What are these things?!
- 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,196 Do I look like I know?
- 00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,198 Last thing I remember, I was, ugh, in a cave
- 00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:34,408 looking at some wet egg and -- Oh, that probably did it.
- 00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,743 I told you not to look at that egg!
- 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,078 I-It was too wet.
- 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,412 You don't get to tell me what to look at.
- 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:39,705 I've seen your Pornhub account.
- 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:41,332 Also, who makes a Pornhub account?
- 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,584 The algorithm learns your preferences better that way.
- 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,461 Plus if you get in kind of a cool enough relationship,
- 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,088 you can sort of follow each other
- 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,506 and check out each other's kinks, you know?
- 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,174 Alright, God damn, sold.
- 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,551 -How do we get out of here? -Morty, relax.
- 00:00:51,677 --> 00:00:53,469 They're face-hugging parasites.
- 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,680 I don't think their society's gonna be that hard to navigate.
- 00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,685 Okay, yeah, this might be a little harder than I thought.
- 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:03,479 Holy shit. They've got an M&M's store.
- 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:06,607 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,346 [ Suspenseful music plays ]
- 00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,807 This is bad, Rick. Th-Th-Th-Th-This is really bad.
- 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,267 Just be cool, Morty.
- 00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:42,518 All we gotta do is blend in, find our ship,
- 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,478 and get the fuck outta here.
- 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,188 Alright, Morty, here's the plan, put this back on your face.
- 00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:47,857 I-I'm not putting that back on my face!
- 00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:48,899 Relax. It's dead.
- 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:51,068 [ Screeches ]
- 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:52,570 Okay, now it's dead.
- 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:55,406 Come on, hurry up.
- 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:56,407 Rick, i-it's bleeding.
- 00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:57,908 I-It's bleeding acid.
- 00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,410 Alright, well, that should be the last of it.
- 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,829 If not, then just gimme two tugs on the arm.
- 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:05,416 [ Screams ]
- 00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,209 Seems like a self-destructive life cycle.
- 00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,628 Is that gonna happen to us?
- 00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,087 You feel an egg in your stomach?
- 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:13,049 -No. -Well, glass half full.
- 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,175 -How's it going? -'Sup.
- 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,551 -Glory to Glorzo. -Totally.
- 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:16,802 Love Glorzo.
- 00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,429 TOWER: <i>Glorzo is peace.</i>
- 00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,014 <i>Peace is Glorzo.</i>
- 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,433 Wow, just cogs in the machine, y'know?
- 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,226 -Ma-Makes you think -- -Yeah, I'm sure you'll make this
- 00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,187 into a beautiful short film that your parents'll pay for,
- 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,272 Morty, but right now, we really just need to find my ship.
- 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,899 You sure you're not just jealous?
- 00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:32,109 Looks like I'm kind of a celebrity around here.
- 00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,903 GLORZO MORTY: <i>The future is Glorzo!</i>
- 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,781 Oh, my God. I was just reading you.
- 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,241 Congratulations on making it into print media.
- 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,868 Real bright future there.
- 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,787 Honestly, it's shocking to see the two of you together.
- 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:44,789 Because we're both geniuses?
- 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,540 No, because I've seen your videos,
- 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,292 and you make me fucking sick.
- 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,002 Fix him.
- 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:53,547 Glory to Glorzo.
- 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:54,882 Sir, you shouldn't wander off like that.
- 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,258 We've been looking all over for you.
- 00:02:56,385 --> 00:02:57,843 The project is ready for your approval.
- 00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,553 Sir, is this man bothering you?
- 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,055 Um, no, h-he's fine.
- 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,848 Uh, what -- what project?
- 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:05,351 Jesus Christ, who the fuck was I?
- 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:08,896 <i>Here's a scientific fact</i> <i>I'm not allowed to say --</i>
- 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:13,150 <i>Our hosts are biologically</i> <i>designed to incubate our eggs.</i>
- 00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,403 <i>If that "triggers" you,</i> <i>fuck off.</i>
- 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,946 <i>If it doesn't,</i> <i>please like and subscribe.</i>
- 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,781 <i>New videos every Glorzday.</i>
- 00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,491 God, was I at least rich?
- 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,159 I mean, d-d-did I at least sell out
- 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,661 and sell vitamins or something?
- 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,162 Rick, I've watched enough Pornhub to know
- 00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:26,664 what a studio apartment looks like.
- 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,207 God damn.
- 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,668 Jesus, your Glorzo got shit done.
- 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:33,421 My lord, we await your command.
- 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:34,505 Oh, to...
- 00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,215 shoot it? A-At people?
- 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:37,675 Glorzo is peace.
- 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,343 All shall be made Glorzo.
- 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,303 SOLDIERS: Glory to Glorzo.
- 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:42,930 I...did this?
- 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:46,434 You and the amazing technology you both brought us.
- 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,810 Yeah, makes sense.
- 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,019 A-And where was this heading?
- 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:50,146 Earth? Probably Earth?
- 00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:51,814 The humans call it "Earth."
- 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,066 Yeah, well, okay, first of all, great work.
- 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,943 You guys obviously put a lot of work into this.
- 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,528 -Okay. -And y'know, it shows.
- 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,613 I-It really shows. But um...
- 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,031 I-I've been thinking, and, you know,
- 00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,200 maybe we should just call this off.
- 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,869 Sorry, is -- is there more?
- 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:06,120 Nope, nope.
- 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,038 I-I guess, uh, that -- that's it.
- 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:11,000 Just don't Glorzo Earth.
- 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,711 Just would've been nice to have heard this sooner
- 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,379 before we spent all day on it.
- 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,465 Yeah, well, I-I'm just hearing about it, too.
- 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:18,966 -You ordered it. -Right.
- 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,634 I-I did, and, um...
- 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,303 I'm just saying for next time, maybe put more thought
- 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,096 into it before a whole day of --
- 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,098 Okay, well, I'm sorry I made you do your job for a fucking day!
- 00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:27,433 You look like you were all really busy
- 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,018 before I came and fucked it all up.
- 00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,186 Boy, oh boy, huh? This guy's a genius, but at --
- 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:31,437 but at what price, you know?
- 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:32,646 Y'know, fuck you, Rick!
- 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,024 Who's...Rick?
- 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,609 Yeah, well, if we're free to ask questions,
- 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:39,361 why haven't you blinked, uh, for 20 minutes,
- 00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:42,948 and why, uh, doesn't your mouth move when you talk?
- 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,994 Ah, geez, look at me.
- 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,871 I-I feel down on -- on -- on the floor.
- 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,332 Oh, let -- let me, uh, help -- help you out here, buddy.
- 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,667 Ah, thanks, man. Thanks, pal. That's right.
- 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:57,004 I'm right back where -- where -- right back in the saddle here.
- 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,884 Alright, fuck it, run.
- 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:03,594 [ Glorzos screeching ]
- 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:24,031 [ Glorzos screeching ]
- 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,991 I-I hate this! I hate all of this!
- 00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,409 Yeah, yeah, keep that feedback coming, Morty.
- 00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:29,286 It can only help.
- 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,126 -RICK: Oh, shit. -MORTY: Aw, man!
- 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:37,753 MORTY: How big is this city?!
- 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,129 I know, it's like pick a lane.
- 00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,173 Are you face huggers or industrialists?
- 00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,220 Damn, feels kinda good when there's no guilt, huh?
- 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,638 Yeah, it's -- it's like in "Star Wars."
- 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:48,931 Yeah, just like in "Star Wars."
- 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,891 Go nuts!
- 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,522 <i>Nice, Morty! Give a little</i> <i>"yee-haw" if you want.</i>
- 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,399 <i>They -- They always do a little</i> <i>"yee-haw" like a cowboy.</i>
- 00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,608 Yee-- Yee-ha-- Yee-haw.
- 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,235 <i>Good enough.</i>
- 00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:12,454 God, I needed this.
- 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,039 Honestly, it's been a while since I've been able
- 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,291 to just let loose, you know?
- 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:16,834 <i>Just have fun.</i> <i>I'm -- I'm --</i>
- 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,460 <i>I'm sorry if I've been</i> <i>taking it out on you.</i>
- 00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,713 No, I get it. You got a lot on your plate, amigo.
- 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,131 I-I just wish you'd open up
- 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,465 to me more about it sometimes, you know?
- 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:24,967 -I-I-I'm your partner. -Thanks, Morty.
- 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:26,468 I mean that. Thank you.
- 00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:27,928 Sometimes, I get a little in my head, you know?
- 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,555 Hey, man, that head's a good place to be.
- 00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,682 Just remember to let me in sometimes, you know?
- 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,018 Will do, buddy. Motherfucker.
- 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,565 Oh, my God, this is so much fun!
- 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:40,858 I don't want to stop!
- 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,318 Yeah, it's like popping bubble wrap.
- 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,954 Honestly, I'm proud of us for not.
- 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,748 Totally. It would've been cheap.
- 00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,417 Yeah, real low-hanging fruit, and we're better than that.
- 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,212 Pearl Harbor, on the other hand...
- 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,423 Yeah, I think that's in-bounds.
- 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:09,929 I am the god of death!
- 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,264 Should've been a better species!
- 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,812 [ Both laugh ]
- 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,981 So, you did a 9/11?
- 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,358 Almost did a 9/11.
- 00:07:22,484 --> 00:07:23,901 We -- We went with a Pearl Harbor.
- 00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:25,152 We're pretty classy.
- 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,363 Why were either of those an option?
- 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:28,530 Ask the Saudis.
- 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:29,657 Wow. Damn.
- 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,075 Yeah, getting political.
- 00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,660 I'm political now. How 'bout you, Jerry?
- 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,120 You got anything to add to the family dynamic?
- 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:37,539 I've been getting into beekeeping lately.
- 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,378 Is something wrong with that?
- 00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,712 What's wrong with that?
- 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,839 Don't I have the right to be happy? To exist?
- 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,549 I'm sorry I didn't 9/11
- 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,802 Pearl Harbor before breakfast, but I have a life, too!
- 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,428 -I have dreams! -And how's Summer?
- 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,348 Did she have fun, too?
- 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,266 Oh. Uh-um.
- 00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,018 Summer... was...
- 00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,269 With us.
- 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,688 There.
- 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,940 You saw us take her in the car with us.
- 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:05,275 -Mm, yes. -Yes, yes, of course.
- 00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:06,527 Th-That's what happened.
- 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,529 -And now she's... -Sleepy.
- 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,656 Um, she's -- she's sleepy.
- 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,074 Really sleepy. That's why she's not here.
- 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,242 So sleepy.
- 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:14,743 She's sleepy?!
- 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:15,953 What the hell was that?!
- 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,705 I didn't see you trying anything!
- 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,248 Shitting the bed isn't better than not shitting the bed!
- 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,958 Where's Summer?!
- 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,754 Geez. Oh, man.
- 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,506 You know, maybe we went too hardcore on these guys.
- 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,757 Yeah, why do you think we never go back
- 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,342 to a place we've already been?
- 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:31,760 Do you know how many adventures we could get out
- 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,137 of Purge Planet, Morty? Gear World?
- 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,805 I don't sequel. It's called integrity.
- 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,223 Here, put this back on your face.
- 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,642 -You kept it? -Oh, did you want a new one?
- 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,021 -'Sup? -Yo.
- 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,772 Oh, shit. It's them!
- 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,899 The worst thing to ever happen to us!
- 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,317 Yeah, that makes sense.
- 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:48,527 Sorry, Morty, we tried pussin' it.
- 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,154 Time to go in hot.
- 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,364 Rickputer, initiate unnecessarily badass suit-up.
- 00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,210 Let's lick tits.
- 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,094 Shouldn't we be finding Summer?
- 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,346 Oh, right, gee, sorry. I got caught up again.
- 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,182 God, d-do I need to take more Adderall,
- 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,267 or am I taking too much Adderall?
- 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,194 Man, really shouldn't have gone with swords.
- 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,987 I know. My wrists are killing me.
- 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,406 Flame-throwers next time, for sure.
- 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,033 Can I get a laser whip?
- 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:40,204 Okay, but there's no way you don't chop your dick off.
- 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,664 Sum Sum, come with us if you want to live...
- 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,917 at a lower standard than this, I guess.
- 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:46,335 God damn.
- 00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,921 -Empress, is everything alright? -Ummm...
- 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,255 seize them!
- 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:51,590 -Seize them?! -What?!
- 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:53,467 -Summer, you bitch! -You gotta be kidding me!
- 00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:57,429 ♪ Nobody knows the trouble I've seen ♪
- 00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:58,847 You know that song, Rick?
- 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,099 From the -- When the prisoners sing it?
- 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:01,642 Come on, Morty, for fuck's sake.
- 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,228 It's my jail time. I-I can spend it however I want.
- 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,313 [ Harmonica playing ]
- 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,773 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy! Hey, hey, hey!
- 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,108 Not in here! Not in here!
- 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,235 <i>Aw...</i> Gimme that.
- 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,322 Leave us.
- 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,032 What the fuck took you so long?!
- 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:18,075 You left me here.
- 00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,118 We didn't know you were with us!
- 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,911 Do you know how much shit I've had to deal with?
- 00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,204 You're in a cape, Summer.
- 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,330 How bad could it be?
- 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,541 No bad story ends with a cape.
- 00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:28,669 You don't know anything about my story.
- 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,921 WOMAN: <i>"I couldn't help but wonder,</i>
- 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:34,299 <i>was Gharkhul really capable</i> <i>of consuming a living sun,</i>
- 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:37,136 <i>or was I simply getting</i> <i>too close to Gharkhul?</i>
- 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,679 <i>Was Gharkhul consuming me?"</i>
- 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,180 Rick, can we listen to something else?
- 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,807 Quiet! She's just about to summon Gharkhul.
- 00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,517 She's been talking about summoning Gharkhul
- 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,977 for three episodes, Summer.
- 00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,728 Wait a minute, what's that in your mouth?
- 00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:48,105 It's a toothpick.
- 00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:49,898 I'm a toothpicker now. Get used to it.
- 00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,900 God, are you that desperate for a thing?
- 00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,735 It <i>is</i> my thing.
- 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,864 Just like yours is dying alone and yours is jerking off.
- 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,700 At least jerking off tracks for my character, you know?
- 00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,119 I like to jerk off. I'm 14. I own it.
- 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,662 -Well, I jerk off, too! -Alright, stop.
- 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,289 Jesus Chris, I don't wanna think about that shit.
- 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:06,957 -Summer, keep your toothpick. -Gross!
- 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,500 Morty, stop talking to your sister about jerking off.
- 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:09,835 Everyone pretend podcasting isn't boring.
- 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,129 [ Creature cawing ]
- 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:15,215 Whoa, Morty, look how wet this egg is.
- 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,217 I dunno, Rick. That looks a little too wet.
- 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,635 -D-Don't touch it. -Oh, I'm gonna touch it.
- 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,053 Why are you guys screaming at an egg?
- 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,388 Shut up, Summer! Just let us look at an egg!
- 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,764 Yeah, Summer, shut the fuck up.
- 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,349 -Fucking shit. -Nobody wants you here.
- 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:25,851 You know, sometimes we like to go on adventures
- 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:27,186 -and look at wet eggs, you know? -Can we just go?
- 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,395 This place is giving me the creeps.
- 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,688 Holy shit. I love this egg.
- 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:30,898 Hey, look, mine's doing it, too.
- 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,525 Are you guys sure that's safe?
- 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,569 Oh, my God!
- 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:39,239 [ Screeches ]
- 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,074 All is Glorzo.
- 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,080 All is Glorzo.
- 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,790 [ Screeches ]
- 00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:50,083 -God. -God.
- 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,211 God? She has a toothpick.
- 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,213 Take it out and put her face in an egg.
- 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,797 -God. -God.
- 00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:57,633 For fuck's sake, how long have you been hatched?
- 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:58,884 30 seconds?
- 00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,178 I've been alive seven minutes.
- 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:03,597 -Think before you -- -Excuse me, seven minutes?
- 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,891 Uh, I've been here for 29 minutes.
- 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,018 But yes, take the toothpick out of her mouth.
- 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:11,313 Suck on her face this instant and use her body to --
- 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,690 [ Screams ]
- 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:16,735 What was that?
- 00:12:16,861 --> 00:12:18,946 That is called responsibility.
- 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,989 He was part of our greatest generation.
- 00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:24,159 He understood that what you need to do is suck on a face,
- 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:25,953 shit an egg, and die.
- 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,704 Wait, so, all you do is live half an hour,
- 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:28,830 shit eggs, and die?
- 00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:30,457 Yes. We love it.
- 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,917 I'll do it right now.
- 00:12:32,043 --> 00:12:33,460 [ Grunting ]
- 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,921 [ Screams ]
- 00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:38,173 Okay, you guys don't have to listen to me,
- 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,259 but I vote you don't do that?
- 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,761 And who's up for changing things around here?
- 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,646 GLORZO SINGER: ♪ Well, I was hatched from an egg ♪
- 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,815 ♪ Laid by some guy ♪
- 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,818 ♪ 'Cause that is Glorzo's way ♪
- 00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:01,738 ♪ And then it came time to lay my own egg and die ♪
- 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,282 ♪ But Summer, she said ♪
- 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:08,662 ♪ "Hey, Glorzo wants you to stay" ♪
- 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:11,665 ♪ Glory to Glorzo ♪
- 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:15,168 ♪ Means glory to me ♪
- 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,878 ♪ If we're only making eggs ♪
- 00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:21,049 ♪ Are we ever making Glorzo free? ♪
- 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:23,719 Alright, look, uh, this shit's been brewing for a while.
- 00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:26,638 I'm not gonna win any popularity contests by saying it,
- 00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,974 <i>but here's --</i> <i>here's the world as I see it.</i>
- 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,642 GLORZO SINGER: ♪ And for all we know ♪
- 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,269 ♪ Everything we've known ♪
- 00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:36,231 ♪ Is just some shit we made up ♪
- 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,109 ♪ Glory to Glorzo ♪
- 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:42,571 ♪ Means glory to me ♪
- 00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,656 ♪ We got too many eggs and not enough society ♪
- 00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,742 <i>I mean, look, we are designed</i> <i>to suck on faces and lay eggs.</i>
- 00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:49,494 <i>Life is life,</i> <i>and that's the way it goes.</i>
- 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,336 GLORZO MORTY: Hello, Troy. Hello, Jez.
- 00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,379 -GLORZO MORTY: How is it going? -Really good, commander.
- 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,881 Should be ready by tomorrow.
- 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,174 That is what I like to hear.
- 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,301 Great work, Glory to Glorzo.
- 00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:07,512 Honestly, Summer, I can't thank you enough.
- 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:10,140 When we met, we were just shitting eggs in a cave,
- 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:13,143 but you showed us life is about more than that.
- 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,686 It is about living.
- 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,646 And now, with these missiles,
- 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,441 we will be able to reach the entire universe.
- 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:23,403 We say it all the time, but I guess all is Glorzo.
- 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,613 Yeah, that sounds great.
- 00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,323 -And you've been great. -Yeah.
- 00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:28,325 You've been so great that I've been thinking
- 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:30,744 maybe it's time for you to get off my brother.
- 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,245 Who's your brother?
- 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,455 Oh, this?
- 00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:34,915 Forgot he was there, haha.
- 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:36,583 Wait. What are you saying?
- 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,418 I'm saying that you've been great, Steve,
- 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,879 but we've been thinking it's time for a new chapter.
- 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,756 -We? -Uh, this is Shane.
- 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,424 He'll be handling the day-to-day.
- 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,093 It's an honor to meet you, sir.
- 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,304 I might only be two minutes old, but I know you're a legend.
- 00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:51,390 She doesn't care about us.
- 00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,475 She just wants her fuckin' host back.
- 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,852 -I don't know what to do. -Oh, now you want my help.
- 00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,229 -Too late for that. -Come on, man.
- 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,480 What is this shit?
- 00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,815 You don't get to do this to me.
- 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,233 We were in eggs together.
- 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,734 Oh, fuck since we were in eggs.
- 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:03,985 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, now you respect, like,
- 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,779 the biological institutions now?
- 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,155 Fuck you. All you care about
- 00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,616 is "progress" and society and skyscrapers.
- 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,368 You don't care about fuckin' biology.
- 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:13,286 Oh, yeah, well, what the fuck?
- 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,455 You -- How you you haven't laid and egg inside this old man yet?
- 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,082 Because I do what I want.
- 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,291 Because someone's gotta stand up for what's right.
- 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,584 Why do you hate her so much?
- 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:23,171 Because she took you away from me!
- 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:25,006 Whoa, man. Jesus Christ.
- 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,551 -No, I-I didn't, I -- -Whoa, whoa, whoa. No.
- 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,928 It's cool.
- 00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:31,805 I feel the same way.
- 00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,228 Oh, my God, I...
- 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,855 I wish we could suck on each other.
- 00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:42,482 -I wanna suck on you, too. -I'm gonna suck you so hard.
- 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,192 -Suck me. -C-C-Can we do this?
- 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:45,610 A-A-Are we allowed to do this?
- 00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:47,404 I don't care. I just want you.
- 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,697 Fuck all of this.
- 00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:50,031 Let's just get the hell outta here
- 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,033 and be whatever the fuck we want.
- 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,578 That's evolution. That's progress.
- 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:57,164 I want a family. Can we have a family.
- 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,999 Yeah.
- 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,508 -Aah, aah! -[ Screeches ]
- 00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,016 Oh, my God.
- 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,893 Holy shit. Oh.
- 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,102 What are -- What are these things?!
- 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,187 Do I look like I know?
- 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,355 Hey, wait a second. How'd you know that last part?
- 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,316 You weren't there for that. I had to fill in some gaps.
- 00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:26,568 Everyone around the office knew about Steve and Bruce.
- 00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:30,405 I've got a plan, okay. You just have to follow my lead.
- 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,824 The punishment is...
- 00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,284 -death. -Motherfucker. Summer!
- 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,203 -You said you had a plan! -Silence.
- 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,455 The council of Glorzos has spoken.
- 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,831 More like council of shit.
- 00:16:39,957 --> 00:16:41,958 -Glorzo is law. -Silence.
- 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:44,794 The punishment is death.
- 00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,297 By... getting into their car.
- 00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:48,924 -Summer? -Shut up.
- 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:51,760 Yes, place them in the car.
- 00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:53,053 Those pieces of shit.
- 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:54,804 No, no, no! This is like torture.
- 00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,890 No, I-I-I-I hate being in my car.
- 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,518 You deserve it, you pieces of shit.
- 00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,520 And to make sure the sentence is passed,
- 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,396 I shall be joining them.
- 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,856 In the car.
- 00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:07,817 And we shall drive away from here and die.
- 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,319 Oooookay.
- 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:10,946 Guess what, everybody.
- 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,698 It's me, the whiny guy you never want to hear from.
- 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,742 She's trying to escape with her family.
- 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:16,910 My time to shine.
- 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,453 Execute her.
- 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,122 Okay, plan B. Morty, now.
- 00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:22,791 [ Harmonica plays ]
- 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,668 Aah!
- 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,419 Jesus, Morty, that sucks.
- 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,671 Alright, stop playing, Morty.
- 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,130 I-I got this.
- 00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:30,549 [ Harmonica plays over speakers ]
- 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:31,841 Aah!
- 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,677 [ Glorzos gasping, screaming ]
- 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,182 GLORZO: This is what we get for evolving?
- 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,351 Sorry! Sorry.
- 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,520 I-I'm sorry. We -- We -- We thought you were evil.
- 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,230 Why would you think that?
- 00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:48,191 We had a giant tower that blared "Glorzo is peace."
- 00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,734 I know. I -- Should -- Should we help?
- 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:50,819 GLORZO #1 : Boo!
- 00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:52,070 GLORZO #2: Oh, like that's helping.
- 00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,905 Got it. Going. Okay, we're gonna hit the road.
- 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:57,075 -You're -- You're just going? -You told us to go!
- 00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,286 Once again, I'm so sorry for what they --
- 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:00,787 You're part of this, too. Boo!
- 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,038 We hate you the most.
- 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:04,332 Get out.
- 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:05,959 Jesus, Summer, why'd you let these things
- 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,210 stay on us for so long?
- 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,795 I was working with a lot.
- 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:11,423 Just let me listen to the podcast next time.
- 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,429 Nailed that landing.
- 00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,264 [ Grunts ]
- 00:18:19,390 --> 00:18:21,683 Huh. Neat-looking egg.
- 00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,810 [ Glorzo screeches ]
- 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,274 Okay, well, I'm not cleaning up this shit.
- 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,985 [ Grunts ] Aah!
- 00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,992 Maybe we, uh -- Maybe we don't tell people about this one.
- 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,493 Did we at least learn something?
- 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,746 That we suck and everyone sucks?
- 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,498 I guess that counts.
- 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,791 Later, chodes.
- 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,543 Hit me on the next one.
- 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:52,881 You know, Rick, I'm sure you wanna jump
- 00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,425 into another crazy adventure, but can we just relax
- 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,218 and maybe watch some interdimensional cable?
- 00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:59,262 -I'm cool if you are. -Honestly, that sounds great.
- 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,139 W-We don't need to try so hard, you know.
- 00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:02,932 Let's just take it easy and riff, you know.
- 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,101 -That's what I love about us. -Me, too, buddy.
- 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,020 MAN #1 : <i>Do you suffer</i> <i>from Alzheimer's?</i>
- 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,772 <i>Do you suffer from Alzheimer's?</i>
- 00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:10,148 <i>Do you suffer</i> <i>from Alzheimer's?</i>
- 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,775 <i>Do you suffer from Alzheimer's?</i>
- 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:12,984 <i>MAN #2: Reggie?</i>
- 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,152 MAN #1 : <i>Do you suffer</i> from Alzheimer's?
- 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,403 MAN #2: <i>Reggie,</i> <i>you alright in there?</i>
- 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:17,489 -[ Growling ] -Mm, Rick, do you feel...
- 00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,949 Oh, God, I have to shit an egg.
- 00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,201 Oh, my God, oh, shit.
- 00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:22,577 Oh, it hurts. Oh God,
- 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,287 is this how we die, Rick? Is this how we die?!
- 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,747 I don't know, Morty. I don't know! Aah!
- 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,040 I don't want to shit an egg, Rick!
- 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,333 I'm sorry, Morty. I'm sorry!
- 00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:29,709 It's my fault. It's all my fault!
- 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:30,960 Hey, you two. Did you --
- 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,421 Beth, your son is dying! Say goodbye!
- 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,382 -What are you -- -Say goodbye to your little boy!
- 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,841 No, look away!
- 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:39,010 I'm making an egg, Mom. I'm making an egg!
- 00:19:39,136 --> 00:19:41,554 You said you'd keep me more in the loop this year.
- 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,973 Look away, Beth! Daddy loves you!
- 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,266 My ass! My ass!
- 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:46,518 This is it, Morty!
- 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,186 It's full circle from the pilot.
- 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,479 Full circle!
- 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,272 [ Both scream, fart ]
- 00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,524 [ Grunts ]
- 00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,901 [ Sighs ]
- 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,653 Oh, I guess we, uh --
- 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:57,904 I guess we both just had to take a shit.
- 00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,572 Yeah, I-I-I guess we, uh...
- 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,865 Fucking gross.
- 00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,909 Guys, clean it up.
- 00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:06,079 [ Dramatic music plays ]
- 00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:37,235 -[ Bees buzzing ] -Look at your dad.
- 00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:40,655 Such a dork, keeping bees.
- 00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:42,991 I mean, it's -- at least it's interesting, though.
- 00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:45,410 At least, like -- I wish my dad kept bees.
- 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,079 I mean, it's kind of cute.
- 00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:52,959 Like... your dad keeps bees.
- 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,503 How old is your dad?
- 00:20:55,629 --> 00:20:59,674 He's obviously beekeeping age.
- 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,594 I don't know, I think it's kind of sweet.
- 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,514 Summer, I want to fuck your dad.
- 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,891 Oh, really?