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Судная ночь
Рик и Морти посещают другую планету, чтобы купить жидкость для стеклоочистителей и стать свидетелями «Фестиваля», ежегодного мероприятия, на котором местное население совершает преступления на одну ночь без последствий. Рик сравнивает это с фильмом «Судная ночь». Морти заставляет Рика спасти Артришу, юную инопланетную девушку. Она предаёт их и крадёт их оружие с космическим кораблём Рика, оставляя Рика и Морти на произвол судьбы. Рик звонит Саммер и просит её прислать бронекостюмы. Морти убивает всех жителей, даже тех, кто не участвовал до тех пор, пока Рик не нокаутирует его. Рик позволяет Артрише использовать костюм Морти и помогает ей убить коррумпированную знать, которая реализовала фестиваль. Жители планеты решают создать новое общество с нуля, однако из-за разногласий по этому поводу вспыхивают беспорядки. Один из них предлагает открыть «Фестиваль». Морти чувствует себя виноватым перед всеми жителями, которых он убил, но Рик ошибочно винит шоколадку, которую съел Морти, тем самым успокаивая его. В сцене после титров Бет обнаруживает, что Джерри потратил 700 долларов на звонок Тэдди Мэйсону, который берёт деньги только за то, чтобы поговорить по телефону.
- 00:00:01,294 --> 00:00:03,672 I gotta tell you, Rick. It's pretty great...
- 00:00:03,922 --> 00:00:05,858 to be in this spaceship, just the two of us, you know?
- 00:00:05,882 --> 00:00:07,562 Just cruising around, Rick and Morty style.
- 00:00:07,592 --> 00:00:09,010 I agree, Morty.
- 00:00:09,094 --> 00:00:10,512 It's nice to get back to the basics
- 00:00:10,595 --> 00:00:12,347 after a pretty intense, mixed-bag of a year.
- 00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:13,473 - Ohh! - Relax.
- 00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:15,141 That's what windshields are for.
- 00:00:15,225 --> 00:00:17,105 I didn't know that there were bugs out in space.
- 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,520 Well, w-what did you think, Morty?
- 00:00:18,603 --> 00:00:20,271 Life just developed on Earth by itself?
- 00:00:20,355 --> 00:00:22,941 Here, let me take care of this.
- 00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:26,069 Geez, Rick, that's disgusting. I don't wanna look at that.
- 00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:27,362 Yeah, guess I'm out of fluid.
- 00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:29,322 L-Let me find a place to stop.
- 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,371 Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet,
- 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:38,665 or are you gonna freak out and start worshipping us?
- 00:00:38,915 --> 00:00:40,351 The general store ought to have what you need.
- 00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:41,793 Thanks.
- 00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:44,188 Of course, you'll be wanting to be gone from here by sundown.
- 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,047 Yeah, sure thing. Wait a minute. What? Why?
- 00:00:46,131 --> 00:00:48,133 Sundown is when the festival begins.
- 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:49,259 The festival?
- 00:00:49,342 --> 00:00:51,469 Ooh, well, for millennia,
- 00:00:51,553 --> 00:00:54,389 our society has been free of crime and war,
- 00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:56,534 - Living in perfect peace. - Oh, I know what this is!
- 00:00:56,558 --> 00:00:58,309 You've been able to sustain world peace
- 00:00:58,393 --> 00:01:00,496 because you have one night a year where you all run around
- 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,939 robbing and murdering each other without consequence.
- 00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:04,274 - That's right. - What?!
- 00:01:04,357 --> 00:01:06,210 It's like "The Purge," Morty. That movie "The Purge"?
- 00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,986 Oh, have you been here before?
- 00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,047 No, no, but I've been to a few planets with the same gimmick.
- 00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:12,574 You know, sometimes it's called the Cleansing or the Red Time.
- 00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:15,118 There was this one world that called it just Murder Night.
- 00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:16,703 I-It's a purge planet.
- 00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:18,764 They're peaceful, and then, you know, they just purge.
- 00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:21,624 - T-That's horrible! - Yeah.
- 00:01:21,708 --> 00:01:23,334 You want to check it out?
- 00:01:23,418 --> 00:01:25,420 ♪♪
- 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,993 So, what do you do during the festival?
- 00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:59,245 You lock yourself in, or you go out and do some stuff?
- 00:01:59,329 --> 00:02:01,372 Oh, I do some pretty bad stuff.
- 00:02:01,456 --> 00:02:03,875 Oh, I bet you do, old timer.
- 00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,668 Gee... Rick, come on. The sun is setting.
- 00:02:05,752 --> 00:02:07,212 W-We got to get out of here.
- 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,356 All right, well, w-what do I owe you for the wiper fluid?
- 00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:11,716 It's on the house. Oh, and, uh,
- 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,219 why... Why don't you have some candy bars, as well?
- 00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,887 Oh, no way. That's really nice of you.
- 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:18,723 I'm a nice guy... for now.
- 00:02:18,807 --> 00:02:20,433 Ohh, I don't doubt it.
- 00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:22,018 - Rick! - Yeah, yeah.
- 00:02:22,101 --> 00:02:23,812 Hey, have a good festival, old timer.
- 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:25,438 I intend to.
- 00:02:28,441 --> 00:02:29,651 Rick, unlock it!
- 00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:30,819 Just a second, Morty.
- 00:02:31,069 --> 00:02:32,612 Oh, look at that sunset.
- 00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:34,239 Stop screwing around.
- 00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,660 There we go. Much better. Now we can see.
- 00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:39,743 Great.
- 00:02:39,786 --> 00:02:41,496 Hey, you know what, Morty?
- 00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:43,739 Why don't we christen our squeaky-clean windshield here
- 00:02:43,790 --> 00:02:45,518 by watching a little of this purge through it?
- 00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:47,377 What?! No! What is your problem?!
- 00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:49,212 Morty, grow up. If you don't want to watch,
- 00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:50,855 don't watch, but, you know, it's my car.
- 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:52,840 Also, if you tell your mom about this,
- 00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:54,551 - I'll purge you. - You're the worst.
- 00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:56,678 This planet is the worst. How can you be into this?
- 00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:58,513 You know, people are gonna kill each other.
- 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,574 So, what, y-y-you trying to sit here and tell me that
- 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,642 I-if... if there's a video online
- 00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:03,869 with someone getting decapitated,
- 00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:05,436 - You don't click on it? - No!
- 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,605 Why... Why would I do that? <i>You</i> do that?
- 00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:09,232 I don't, because it would bore me.
- 00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:10,835 I see shit like that for breakfast, Morty.
- 00:03:10,859 --> 00:03:12,527 But if you don't do it, I say it's because
- 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:14,290 you're afraid of your own primal instincts.
- 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,006 So you stuff them down and...
- 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,490 Oh, oh! Shh. Shh. It's starting.
- 00:03:17,574 --> 00:03:19,009 - Oh-Ho-Ho! Here we go. - I'm not watching.
- 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,713 Yeah, yeah, yeah, your medal's in the mail.
- 00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:22,596 - I'm gonna get a closer look. - Oh, okay, sure.
- 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,014 And then someone's gonna throw a rock
- 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:25,707 and hit the car and then we're gonna crash
- 00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:27,292 and we're gonna be stuck down there
- 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,686 and it's gonna be what we deserve.
- 00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:30,587 Yawn.
- 00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:32,338 Whoa!
- 00:03:32,422 --> 00:03:34,841 Whoa, they are purging the fuck out of each other.
- 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:37,551 Oh, my god!
- 00:03:37,594 --> 00:03:39,637 Oh shit!
- 00:03:39,721 --> 00:03:42,724 That was... Okay, yeah. T-That was gross.
- 00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:44,976 Wow. Man, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach
- 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,853 on this one, Morty. Ugh.
- 00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:49,564 My appetite for purge-spectating got f-illed pretty quick.
- 00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:51,357 Oh, god.
- 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,654 Get away from me!
- 00:03:56,738 --> 00:03:58,239 No! No! Help!
- 00:03:58,323 --> 00:03:59,449 Somebody help me! Aah!
- 00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:01,284 All right, Morty. L-Let's get out of here.
- 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,487 Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. W-We have to go down there.
- 00:04:03,536 --> 00:04:04,829 What? Why?
- 00:04:04,913 --> 00:04:06,998 That poor girl. W-We have to save her.
- 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:09,000 Uh, Morty, in space, we have something we call
- 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,461 the non-interference policy. We got the wiper fluid.
- 00:04:11,544 --> 00:04:13,546 We watched them kill each other. We're leaving.
- 00:04:13,630 --> 00:04:16,382 Help me save that girl, or I'm telling mom you brought me here.
- 00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:18,760 You little turd.
- 00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:20,637 Please! Leave me alone!
- 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,680 Leave you alone? During a purge?
- 00:04:22,764 --> 00:04:24,349 I don't think so, baby.
- 00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:29,270 It's okay. We're not gonna hurt you.
- 00:04:29,354 --> 00:04:31,564 My name is Morty. This is my grandpa.
- 00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:34,025 - We're tourists. - Not anymore.
- 00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:35,485 - Aah! - Aah!
- 00:04:35,568 --> 00:04:37,028 Oh, my god. This is fucking awesome!
- 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,863 Morty, this is really cool.
- 00:04:38,947 --> 00:04:41,699 Hey, y-you want to help me out here and kill some people?
- 00:04:41,783 --> 00:04:43,409 It's fun. We're totally justified...
- 00:04:43,493 --> 00:04:45,328 because we're saving a little girl.
- 00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:47,830 I mean, w-w-we're both free and clear to murder these people.
- 00:04:47,914 --> 00:04:49,624 - Are you okay? - Yes.
- 00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:51,167 I have to find somewhere to hide.
- 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:52,710 Well, you can hide with us. Rick?
- 00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:54,545 - Yeah? - Do you think we could take...
- 00:04:54,629 --> 00:04:55,949 - W-What's your name? - Arthrisha.
- 00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:57,799 Could we take Arthrisha up in the ship
- 00:04:57,882 --> 00:04:59,634 and, you know, just wait out the purge?
- 00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:00,885 Oh, Morty, how can I refuse
- 00:05:00,969 --> 00:05:03,262 after all you've done to blackmail me?
- 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,978 Your vehicle... Is it from the gods?
- 00:05:10,228 --> 00:05:11,604 - No. - Yes.
- 00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:15,858 So, uh, you know, when the purge started,
- 00:05:15,942 --> 00:05:17,735 did people get into it right away,
- 00:05:17,819 --> 00:05:19,946 or were they like, "Wait, what?
- 00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,407 This is gonna stop crime how, exactly?"
- 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:25,410 Yeah, it took some time for people to accept it.
- 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,911 Yeah, I bet. I bet.
- 00:05:26,995 --> 00:05:28,788 Yeah, it's kind of like cellphones, you know?
- 00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:30,206 At first, everyone was like,
- 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,600 "look at those douchebags purging."
- 00:05:31,624 --> 00:05:32,904 And then the next thing you know,
- 00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:34,627 they're like, "it's just so convenient."
- 00:05:34,711 --> 00:05:36,212 Geez, you working on your tight five
- 00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:37,797 for the comedy store, Morty?
- 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:42,927 Whatcha doing?
- 00:05:43,011 --> 00:05:45,430 Watching some TV, playing on your phone?
- 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:48,391 - Is that a real question? - Just making conversation.
- 00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:50,977 Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with?
- 00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:53,855 My choice is to say nothing, be sarcastic,
- 00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:55,898 or bark "yes" like a trained animal.
- 00:05:55,982 --> 00:05:57,483 It's not a conversation.
- 00:05:57,567 --> 00:05:59,027 You're holding me verbally hostage.
- 00:05:59,277 --> 00:06:01,404 Okay, ass-face. I'll go in the kitchen.
- 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:02,697 - Hey, Dad. - Yeah?
- 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,407 Whatcha doing? Going into the kitchen?
- 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,658 Okay.
- 00:06:05,742 --> 00:06:07,368 - Yeah, you like that? - Screw you.
- 00:06:07,452 --> 00:06:11,581 So, uh, do most people wear masks when they purge?
- 00:06:11,664 --> 00:06:13,833 I-I don't want to answer any more purge questions.
- 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,710 All right, hey, hey, that's cool.
- 00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:17,503 I can roll with that.
- 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,553 - My nana! - Huh?
- 00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,680 My nana! We have to save her!
- 00:06:29,682 --> 00:06:31,851 You just now remembered your nana exists.
- 00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,853 I-I was traumatized.
- 00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:35,938 Haven't you been through like 15 purges?
- 00:06:36,022 --> 00:06:37,148 I mean, some as a child?
- 00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,983 Will somebody just help me get her?
- 00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:40,943 Fine, whatever. Morty, stay.
- 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:53,039 Oh, god. Oh, crap. Oh, crap!
- 00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,916 - Get out! Get out! - Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- 00:06:54,999 --> 00:06:57,168 Get the fuck out of the flying machine!
- 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,878 Oh, my god! O-Okay! Okay!
- 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,463 Back up, asshole.
- 00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:01,964 - Back up. - Ohh.
- 00:07:02,048 --> 00:07:04,467 - Back the fuck up! - Aah!
- 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:07,470 For what it's worth, I'm sorry,
- 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,573 but that's not really worth anything tonight, is it?
- 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:12,475 Y-You can't leave us here. You're killing us!
- 00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,936 You hear me? Come back.
- 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:18,564 Y-You got to come back. Change your mind.
- 00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:20,066 Oh, geez.
- 00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:23,027 Morty! Aah! Fucking Amish bitch shot me!
- 00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:24,821 She tried to purge me, Morty.
- 00:07:24,904 --> 00:07:26,989 You let your wiener do the walking, and now I'm dead.
- 00:07:27,073 --> 00:07:29,492 - Rick, she took the car! - You fucking kidding me, Morty?!
- 00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,868 She took my car and the gun.
- 00:07:30,952 --> 00:07:32,662 We're like the rest of these assholes now.
- 00:07:32,745 --> 00:07:34,080 W-W-We're gonna get purged, Morty.
- 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,540 Help me up.
- 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,017 Oh, geez, geez! Wait a minute, Rick.
- 00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,668 Why don't we just use your portal gun?
- 00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:39,919 It's in the car, dip-ass.
- 00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,504 Oh, god, it hurts.
- 00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:43,315 She got me right in the goddamn liver, Morty.
- 00:07:43,339 --> 00:07:45,317 It's the hardest-working liver in the galaxy, Morty,
- 00:07:45,341 --> 00:07:47,319 and now it has a hole in it. I hope it was worth it.
- 00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:48,803 I was just trying to do right.
- 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,206 Yeah, well, that's not really the theme of tonight's party.
- 00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:52,765 Heads up. Rapists.
- 00:07:52,849 --> 00:07:54,249 Well, don't just stand there, Morty.
- 00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:55,350 - Purge 'em. - Me?
- 00:07:55,393 --> 00:07:57,228 No, me. Should I rub my liver hole on them?
- 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,147 Pick up a stick or something and kill them.
- 00:07:59,397 --> 00:08:00,997 Um, w-we come in peace.
- 00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,401 Oh, my god.
- 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:06,946 There's more where that came from!
- 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:08,382 You want to get purged, you bring it!
- 00:08:08,406 --> 00:08:11,284 Drop drop your shit! Drop it all.
- 00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,035 Morty, go get their shit. Hurry up.
- 00:08:13,119 --> 00:08:14,704 I only had one of those things I threw.
- 00:08:14,787 --> 00:08:16,455 I'm holding a box of Tic Tacs right now.
- 00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:20,877 - Want some crackers? - No, thank you.
- 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,545 Are you ready to be nice to me?
- 00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:24,422 In exchange for crackers?
- 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:27,175 - What happened to you? - Dad, get a job.
- 00:08:27,425 --> 00:08:29,844 You're trying to create drama because you're bored.
- 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,971 Oh.
- 00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:34,473 It's the space phone Grandpa gave us.
- 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,392 - Hello? - Hey, Summer, it's Grandpa.
- 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,269 I need you to do me a favor.
- 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:39,792 - I can barely hear you. - Who is it?
- 00:08:39,854 --> 00:08:41,534 Morty and I are on a planet that's purging.
- 00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,858 - I need you to take down... - A plan that's what?
- 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,902 We're on a planet that's purging, Summer. Purging.
- 00:08:45,985 --> 00:08:48,529 We lost our car and my gun, and we're in a purge.
- 00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:50,215 - Ooh, is it Taddi Mason? - Like the movie "The Purge"?
- 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:51,991 Yes, I-I need you to take...
- 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,368 - That movie sucked. - Oh, my god. Hold on.
- 00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:56,120 It's not Taddi Mason?
- 00:08:56,204 --> 00:08:57,872 Dad, who the fuck is Taddi Mason?
- 00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,040 - My friend. - Aah!
- 00:08:59,123 --> 00:09:00,642 Are you okay? I'm putting you on speaker.
- 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,293 - Taddi? - Yes, Jerry, it's Taddi,
- 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,086 a person no one's ever heard of until now,
- 00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:05,755 calling you on a space phone.
- 00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:07,482 I can't tell if you're being sarcastic.
- 00:09:09,467 --> 00:09:10,968 Aah!
- 00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,555 Reload, fast.
- 00:09:14,639 --> 00:09:16,479 Summer, w-we need you to take down this number.
- 00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,893 - Quit screwing around. - Morty? Are you all right?
- 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,062 - No! - Why are <i>you</i> with Taddi Mason?
- 00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:23,439 Holy shit Dad! Shut the fuck up!
- 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:26,984 Okay. I guess I'm just this entire family's toilet paper.
- 00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:29,129 Are you writing this down? Will you please write this down?
- 00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:32,240 - Yes, yes. - 7-7-1-9-8...
- 00:09:32,490 --> 00:09:36,244 ...3-6-4-2-1-1-2-5.
- 00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:38,120 Aah!
- 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:43,793 You son of a bitch!
- 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:45,520 Morty, I don't want to be the "a little help" guy,
- 00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:48,172 but a little help?
- 00:09:48,256 --> 00:09:50,091 - Aah! - Okay, I have a pen. Go.
- 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:53,844 7-7-1-9-8-3- 6-4-2-1-1-2-5.
- 00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:55,137 A spoon, Morty?
- 00:09:55,221 --> 00:09:56,347 - A spoon?! - I'm sorry.
- 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,099 There's a pile of silverware next to you,
- 00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,410 and you throw me the one thing that can never kill anything?
- 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,019 All right, okay!
- 00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:04,164 Summer, on the shelf above my workbench in the garage,
- 00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:05,898 there's a red box with a keypad on it.
- 00:10:05,982 --> 00:10:07,733 You're gonna take that box outside,
- 00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:10,170 and you're gonna type the number I just gave you into the keypad.
- 00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:11,654 - Got it? - Got it.
- 00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,548 Is it just part of growing up to hate your dad?
- 00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:16,492 I'm ignoring you.
- 00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,470 Morty, if I can get to the top of that lighthouse,
- 00:10:18,494 --> 00:10:20,597 I can send the beacon, and your sister can launch our package.
- 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,290 Just remember, if there's people in there
- 00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:24,184 and they try to purge us, we got to purge them first.
- 00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:26,228 We're not purging anyone, Rick, all right? W-Will you stop it?
- 00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:27,962 Morty, if we're gonna survive tonight,
- 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:30,506 you're gonna need to harness your repressed rage.
- 00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:31,589 I don't have any!
- 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:34,468 Spoken like a person with repressed rage.
- 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,098 I take no part in the festival.
- 00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:41,600 If you desire to kill me, I only ask you do it quickly.
- 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,060 No such agenda, chief.
- 00:10:43,144 --> 00:10:44,788 We're not too keen on the purge, either, sir.
- 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,999 We were just hoping to get on the roof of your lighthouse
- 00:10:47,023 --> 00:10:48,858 so we can send a beacon to my sister on Earth.
- 00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,651 - It's a different planet. - By the way,
- 00:10:50,735 --> 00:10:53,487 life on other planets exists. Don't let it distract you.
- 00:10:53,571 --> 00:10:55,966 I'll let you use my lighthouse for shelter and beacon-sending
- 00:10:55,990 --> 00:10:57,634 on the condition that you listen to my tale.
- 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,535 - Okay. - Deal.
- 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,471 All right, I'm gonna go to the roof and set things up.
- 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,497 - Morty, you listen to his tale. - Okay.
- 00:11:11,339 --> 00:11:13,632 "Fade in. Exterior. Unnamed city. Day.
- 00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:15,718 The hustle and bustle is a symphony of progress.
- 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:18,429 We pan past windows, each of which contain a different story,
- 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,557 to find Jacey Lakims, 28... Hot, but doesn't know it.
- 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,076 Jacey stops when her high heel gets caught
- 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:24,727 in the grating of a sewer.
- 00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:27,313 Suddenly, a man steps into frame and points a gun at her.
- 00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,482 This is not her day.
- 00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:30,983 Fade to black.
- 00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:33,986 Title... 'three weeks earlier. ""
- 00:11:36,364 --> 00:11:39,116 You really don't want to talk to me about this.
- 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,577 Dad, Grandpa and Morty are in danger.
- 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,204 You're unemployed, and you're bored.
- 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:45,998 - They're a higher priority. - Stop saying I'm unemployed!
- 00:11:46,082 --> 00:11:49,335 Okay, 7-7-19-.8... 364... 2-1-1
- 00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:52,254 2... Aah! - Good lord! Now what?
- 00:11:54,215 --> 00:11:57,468 Look, I'm your father, and I love you is all I'm saying.
- 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,762 - I'll leave it at that. - Fine, dad!
- 00:12:01,347 --> 00:12:04,100 Oh, he might have said to take it outside.
- 00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:05,476 Come on, Summer.
- 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,770 How hard is it to type some numbers into a box?
- 00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,230 <i>Target locked.</i>
- 00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:10,773 Oh, thank god.
- 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:13,317 Well, I did my job. Summer did her job.
- 00:12:13,401 --> 00:12:16,904 Now all Morty has to do is finish listening to that tale.
- 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:19,365 Maybe I don't need a new friend.
- 00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:21,909 Maybe you're the only friend I need.
- 00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:24,078 Need, or want?
- 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,163 I've never been much for wanting.
- 00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:28,791 Spoken like someone with needs.
- 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,042 - Oh, geez. - Hmm?
- 00:12:30,126 --> 00:12:32,044 Uh, sorry. K-Keep going.
- 00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:33,963 "Jacey reaches out and touches his face.
- 00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:35,406 It's clear he needs what she wants.
- 00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:37,174 She's a woman. He's a man.
- 00:12:37,258 --> 00:12:39,844 The city burns in the background as he takes her in his arms.
- 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,095 Fade out.
- 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:43,013 Title... 'The End'...
- 00:12:43,097 --> 00:12:44,097 question mark."
- 00:12:44,140 --> 00:12:45,433 - Wow. - Yeah?
- 00:12:45,683 --> 00:12:48,269 It's... G-Good job. Good job.
- 00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:49,854 - You liked it? - Of course I did.
- 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,730 You didn't laugh at the scene in the bar.
- 00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:54,775 I... thought it was funny, but I wanted to hear the rest.
- 00:12:54,859 --> 00:12:56,610 Do you have any thoughts? Notes?
- 00:12:56,694 --> 00:12:58,737 No. I-I just enjoyed it.
- 00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,990 That's my note, you know? Please write more.
- 00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:03,200 - Seems a little insincere. - What? No.
- 00:13:03,284 --> 00:13:04,869 You don't have to mollycoddle me.
- 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:07,013 I want to improve my writing. Tell me your real thoughts.
- 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,957 All right. Well, um, I'm not a huge fan, personally,
- 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,920 of the whole "three weeks earlier" teaser thing.
- 00:13:12,001 --> 00:13:13,461 I feel like, you know,
- 00:13:13,711 --> 00:13:14,938 we should start our stories where they begin
- 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,562 not start them where they get interest...
- 00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:18,090 - Get out. - Um, what?
- 00:13:18,174 --> 00:13:19,884 No, I'm sick of this. You bang on my door,
- 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:21,945 you beg me to help you, I share something personal with you,
- 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,304 and you take a giant shit on it.
- 00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:25,115 Hey, man, we asked if we could put up a beacon...
- 00:13:25,139 --> 00:13:26,616 Well, you can't. I want you out of here.
- 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,118 You're a petty person, and you're insecure,
- 00:13:28,142 --> 00:13:30,036 and you're taking it out on me. That's a good script.
- 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,228 What the hell?!
- 00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:32,438 I don't care. I want you out.
- 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:34,023 - What? - Take that thing down.
- 00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:35,983 Your grandson is a shitty person. Leave now.
- 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:37,546 - Morty! - Rick, I didn't do anything.
- 00:13:37,735 --> 00:13:39,236 I sat through his entire screenplay...
- 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,488 You "sat through it"?
- 00:13:40,738 --> 00:13:42,448 Yes! Did you want me to weep with joy?
- 00:13:42,698 --> 00:13:45,242 - It's terrible! - Whoa Morty! We're guests here.
- 00:13:45,326 --> 00:13:48,037 I tried to be a good guest! He dragged it out of me!
- 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,390 - I'm taking down this beacon. - No, stop! That's not fair!
- 00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:52,124 Just because you hate your own writing
- 00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:53,709 doesn't make me a bad person!
- 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:54,793 Aah!
- 00:13:56,337 --> 00:13:59,173 You like that? You want me to cut to three weeks earlier
- 00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:00,299 when you were alive?
- 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:03,177 Whoa, Morty. You just purged.
- 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,054 <i>Beacon arriving.</i>
- 00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:06,889 Okay, time to go.
- 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,974 Well, terrific.
- 00:14:09,058 --> 00:14:11,936 Dad, what's going on? What's the deal here?
- 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,188 I just wanted to spend some time with my daughter.
- 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,940 You're growing up so fast.
- 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,001 - You used to be my little girl. - Yeah.
- 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,503 Remember when we used to go to the playground,
- 00:14:19,527 --> 00:14:21,070 and I'd push you on the swings?
- 00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:23,489 Oh, you could push me higher than all the other kids.
- 00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:25,366 You were so small and cute.
- 00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:27,511 I thought you were gonna fly right off into the street.
- 00:14:27,535 --> 00:14:29,453 I used to pee my pants.
- 00:14:29,537 --> 00:14:31,747 I know, and now look at you!
- 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,916 You have a job. You're making really good money.
- 00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:35,209 You're not paying any rent,
- 00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:37,211 so you have plenty of disposable income.
- 00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,629 Oh, god, Dad. Please, don't.
- 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,381 I just need a few hundred dollars
- 00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:42,442 to get through the month. I have some interviews coming up.
- 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:44,194 Something's gonna come through. I can feel it.
- 00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,386 I'm going inside.
- 00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,699 I guess this is what rock bottom feels like, Jerry.
- 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,225 Ow!
- 00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:53,227 It's okay, Morty. It's the purge, you know?
- 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,896 Pushing old lighthouse keepers down the stairs is totally cool.
- 00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:58,399 It's not cool, Rick. I-I'm not like these people.
- 00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:00,359 I can't run around chopping people's heads off
- 00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:02,778 one day a year and then sleep well the rest of the time.
- 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:05,061 Well, you better start getting used to it, little bitch,
- 00:15:05,114 --> 00:15:07,408 because we got some fucking company.
- 00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:09,118 Hey, there he is.
- 00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:10,578 Here I am.
- 00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,380 Morty.
- 00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,299 Time to purge.
- 00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,601 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:15:33,851 --> 00:15:35,227 ♪ Yeah ♪
- 00:15:35,311 --> 00:15:36,895 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,897 ♪ I feel it all in my soul ♪
- 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,691 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,693 Geez. Wow, Morty. Now you're getting into it.
- 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,570 Never expected that out of you.
- 00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,864 All right, uh, let's go find my ship.
- 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:54,580 Hey, hey, Morty, Morty. There it is down there... My ship.
- 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:55,873 It looks to me like the...
- 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,082 Morty?
- 00:15:57,166 --> 00:15:58,709 - Suck my dick! - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,085 Eat this!
- 00:16:00,169 --> 00:16:01,354 Ooh, boy, you're really, uh...
- 00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:02,618 - Ha-Ha! Ha! - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,590 You're really going for it over there, huh?
- 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,484 - I, uh... - I think, uh...
- 00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,093 I think those people were just hiding.
- 00:16:08,177 --> 00:16:09,720 I don't give a shit!
- 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,573 Okay, Morty, now you're just shooting corpses.
- 00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:13,307 - How do you like this? - Okay, buddy.
- 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,017 All right. That's good. Good job.
- 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:17,895 Time to go home.
- 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,261 Wait, stop! Please, don't kill me!
- 00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,487 I-I never intended to harm you, I swear.
- 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,739 I am trying to end the festival.
- 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,325 - W-W-What do you mean? - I was going to use your ship
- 00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:34,370 to destroy the rich assholes that run our society
- 00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:37,498 and save my people from the horrors of this yearly festival.
- 00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,209 Fuck that, Rick! We gotta kill her! Kill her! Kill her!
- 00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:42,461 Whoa! Geez, Morty, purge it down a little.
- 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,088 "Purge! Don't purge!"
- 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,691 You're sending me mixed messages, Rick.
- 00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:47,275 Morty... you're acting like
- 00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:48,539 a... freaking lunatic.
- 00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:50,219 - Calm down. - Screw you, Rick!
- 00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,596 I'll purge you, too, you old, rickety piece of crap!
- 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,515 This has been a long time coming!
- 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:56,183 I'm gonna rip your fucking guts out
- 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,586 and smear them all over your face!
- 00:16:57,643 --> 00:16:58,769 I ain't taking no sh...
- 00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,688 - Aah! - Okay, s-sorry about that.
- 00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:02,690 Now, where are these rich people?
- 00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:11,281 To another successful year of the festival,
- 00:17:11,365 --> 00:17:15,077 pitting poor people against each other for thousands of years.
- 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:19,081 Wait, w-where is that music coming from?
- 00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:21,458 What is the meaning of this? - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:17:21,542 --> 00:17:23,210 Here's the deal. I'm not here to judge.
- 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:24,653 I'm just a guy from another planet.
- 00:17:24,712 --> 00:17:26,312 But this girl is one of your poor people,
- 00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:27,857 and I guess you guys felt like it was okay
- 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,550 to subject her to inhuman conditions
- 00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:31,802 because there was no chance of it ever hurting you.
- 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,679 It's sort of the socio-political equivalent
- 00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:36,098 of, say, a suit of power armor around you.
- 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,143 But now things are evened out, so, Arthrisha?
- 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,564 Happy Festival cock suckers!
- 00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:46,108 Suck my cock! Chew my balls!
- 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,401 Suck my huge dick!
- 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,527 - Geez. - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,154 You want to get in on this, Rick?
- 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,531 No, I really... Honestly, I-I've had my fill.
- 00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:53,991 It's gratuitous at this point.
- 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,427 You sure you don't want to join in?
- 00:17:55,451 --> 00:17:57,131 This is really amazing. - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:59,705 Yeah, but... Ah, all right. Fuck it.
- 00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:02,541 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:04,251 Yeah, bitch, what's up?
- 00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:07,963 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,424 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:11,717 ♪ Yeah ♪
- 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,302 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:15,179 Whoa!
- 00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:17,264 ♪ Ohh, it feels good ♪
- 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,183 Okay, now it's time we do a little dancing
- 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,643 to... to Tony! Toni! Toné! - ♪ It feels good, yeah ♪
- 00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:23,562 Look at my fucking feet, motherfucker!
- 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,731 Whoo! Aw, yeah! ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:27,441 Arthrisha, what do you got?
- 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:28,918 Check this move out. ♪ Oh, it feels good ♪
- 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,612 Oh, ho!
- 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:34,448 I don't know what song that is, but I fucking love it!
- 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,866 "Feels Good."
- 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:37,701 It's a fucking hit song. - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:18:37,785 --> 00:18:39,703 Topped the charts, I think. Ho, ho!
- 00:18:39,787 --> 00:18:42,122 ♪ Oh, it feels good ♪
- 00:18:43,749 --> 00:18:45,167 Hey, thanks for helping me, Rick.
- 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:46,710 You're a pretty great guy.
- 00:18:46,794 --> 00:18:48,754 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you for shooting my liver.
- 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:50,339 I'll see you around.
- 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,633 Oh, man. What... What happened?
- 00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:54,176 Don't worry about it, Morty.
- 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:55,653 Listen, if you wanted to try to get a piece,
- 00:18:55,677 --> 00:18:58,305 you better hurry up. Now's your last chance.
- 00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,307 Hey, hey, Arthrisha, um, maybe I could...
- 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,309 Uh, I have a boyfriend.
- 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:03,787 - Okay. - I'm not trying to be rude.
- 00:19:03,811 --> 00:19:05,288 I just... I don't want to lead you on.
- 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,147 I-I-I understand.
- 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:09,691 I mean, thank you so much for helping end the festival,
- 00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:12,569 but I have a boyfriend, and, uh, he's just...
- 00:19:12,653 --> 00:19:14,279 Okay, okay, you can stop saying it.
- 00:19:14,363 --> 00:19:15,563 I took it okay the first time,
- 00:19:15,614 --> 00:19:17,199 and now you're just repeating stuff.
- 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:19,034 - Oh, I'm sorry. - It's okay.
- 00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:22,371 Oh, you're so sweet, I just... Oh, but I can't.
- 00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:23,914 Yeah, you're still doing it.
- 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:27,626 It won't be easy creating a new society from the ground up.
- 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:31,046 Well, a helpful rule might be if you need something, you get it.
- 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,798 - Pretty simple, right? - I need food.
- 00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,634 - Who's got food for that guy? - I do, but this is for me.
- 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:36,969 Can't you make some more?
- 00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:39,513 Oh, sure. And while I'm making food for everyone,
- 00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,515 who takes care of my kids?
- 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:45,519 I'll take care of your kids, if I get some extra food for it.
- 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,020 Extra food?
- 00:19:47,104 --> 00:19:49,857 Well, I'm not gonna do extra work if we all get the same.
- 00:19:50,107 --> 00:19:51,525 All right, okay, fair is fair.
- 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,402 If you do extra work, you get extra food.
- 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:55,279 Oh.
- 00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:56,613 Who's gonna keep track
- 00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:59,032 of who gets how much food for how much work?
- 00:19:59,116 --> 00:20:00,659 Hello. I can do that.
- 00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:02,494 I'll keep track of everyone's food,
- 00:20:02,578 --> 00:20:04,246 you know, in exchange for food.
- 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,747 That's not a real job!
- 00:20:05,831 --> 00:20:07,833 Oh, and making food is?
- 00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:10,252 You son of a bitch!
- 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,545 Eat this!
- 00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:15,841 Guys, guys, guys, guys, whoa, whoa.
- 00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,427 Cool it, now. Take it easy.
- 00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:20,721 There's too much aggression here.
- 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:22,848 What if we designate a period of time
- 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:26,101 during which we can all get this hate, murder,
- 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:29,021 and rage out of our system...
- 00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:30,564 I can't help but feel ashamed
- 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,232 about what I did back there, Rick.
- 00:20:32,316 --> 00:20:34,544 I guess you were right. I've got a lot of repressed stuff
- 00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,570 I need to deal with. - Don't worry about it, Morty.
- 00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:38,363 Remember those candy bars earlier...
- 00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:40,574 that we got in the first act? - Yeah, what about them?
- 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,826 Turns out they have a chemical in them called purgenol
- 00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:44,745 that amplifies all your violent tendencies.
- 00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:46,997 Oh, boy. Whew! Thank goodness for that, huh?
- 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,248 That's a relief.
- 00:20:48,332 --> 00:20:49,458 Yep. Don't even sweat.
- 00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:50,810 You're still the same old Morty.
- 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:53,754 Your character's totally protected.
- 00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:56,840 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:58,759 ♪♪
- 00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:30,624 <i>And there's the approach.</i>
- 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:32,876 Jerry, what is "Taddi Mason LLC,"
- 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,045 and why is our phone bill $700?
- 00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,713 - Uh... <i>- Hey, are you bored...</i>
- 00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:38,215 - Uh... <i>- ...lonely,</i>
- 00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:39,716 <i>just looking for a friend?</i>
- 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,301 Call me, Taddi Mason.
- 00:21:41,385 --> 00:21:42,886 <i>It's only $1. 99 a minute to talk.</i>
- 00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:44,638 - Uh... <i>- Sign up today,</i>
- 00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:46,598 <i>and I'll even call you on a regular basis...</i>
- 00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:48,117 - Uh... <i>- ...for just $1. 99 a minute.</i>
- 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:50,394 <i>That's a steal because I'm a great pal.</i>
- 00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:52,896 We could talk about sports or barbecue.
- 00:21:54,982 --> 00:21:56,900 Jerry, get a job.
- 00:21:56,984 --> 00:21:58,402 Oh, my god!
- 00:21:58,485 --> 00:21:59,903 Did you get any of that?
- 00:21:59,987 --> 00:22:01,947 It's-a good-a show!
- 00:00:01,294 --> 00:00:03,672 MORTY: I gotta tell you, Rick. It's pretty great...
- 00:00:03,922 --> 00:00:05,858 to be in this spaceship, just the two of us, you know?
- 00:00:05,882 --> 00:00:07,562 Just cruising around, Rick and Morty style.
- 00:00:07,592 --> 00:00:09,010 I agree, Morty. [belches]
- 00:00:09,094 --> 00:00:10,512 It's nice to get back to the basics
- 00:00:10,595 --> 00:00:12,347 after a pretty intense, mixed-bag of a year.
- 00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:13,473 - Ohh! - Relax.
- 00:00:13,556 --> 00:00:15,141 That's what windshields are for.
- 00:00:15,225 --> 00:00:17,105 I didn't know that there were bugs out in space.
- 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,520 Well, w-what did you think, Morty?
- 00:00:18,603 --> 00:00:20,271 Life just developed on Earth by itself?
- 00:00:20,355 --> 00:00:22,941 Here, let me take care of this.
- 00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:26,069 Geez, Rick, that's disgusting. I don't wanna look at that.
- 00:00:26,152 --> 00:00:27,362 Yeah, guess I'm out of fluid.
- 00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:29,322 L-Let me find a place to stop.
- 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,371 Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet,
- 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:38,665 or are you gonna freak out and start worshipping us?
- 00:00:38,915 --> 00:00:40,351 The general store ought to have what you need.
- 00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:41,793 Thanks.
- 00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:44,188 Of course, you'll be wanting to be gone from here by sundown.
- 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,047 Yeah, sure thing. Wait a minute. What? Why?
- 00:00:46,131 --> 00:00:48,133 Sundown is when the festival begins.
- 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:49,259 The festival?
- 00:00:49,342 --> 00:00:51,469 Ooh, well, for millennia,
- 00:00:51,553 --> 00:00:54,389 our society has been free of crime and war,
- 00:00:54,472 --> 00:00:56,534 - Living in perfect peace. - Oh, I know what this is!
- 00:00:56,558 --> 00:00:58,309 You've been able to sustain world peace
- 00:00:58,393 --> 00:01:00,496 because you have one night a year where you all run around
- 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,939 robbing and murdering each other without consequence.
- 00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:04,274 - That's right. - What?!
- 00:01:04,357 --> 00:01:06,210 It's like "The Purge," Morty. That movie "The Purge"?
- 00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,986 Oh, have you been here before?
- 00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,047 No, no, but I've been to a few planets with the same gimmick.
- 00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:12,574 You know, sometimes it's called the Cleansing or the Red Time.
- 00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:15,118 There was this one world that called it just Murder Night.
- 00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:16,703 I-It's a purge planet.
- 00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:18,764 They're peaceful, and then, you know, they just purge.
- 00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:21,624 - T-That's horrible! - Yeah.
- 00:01:21,708 --> 00:01:23,334 You want to check it out?
- 00:01:23,418 --> 00:01:25,420 ♪♪
- 00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:52,822 [Electricity crackling]
- 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,993 So, what do you do during the festival?
- 00:01:57,076 --> 00:01:59,245 You lock yourself in, or you go out and do some stuff?
- 00:01:59,329 --> 00:02:01,372 Oh, I do some pretty bad stuff.
- 00:02:01,456 --> 00:02:03,875 Oh, I bet you do, old timer. [laughs]
- 00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,668 Gee... Rick, come on. The sun is setting.
- 00:02:05,752 --> 00:02:07,212 W-We got to get out of here.
- 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,356 All right, well, w-what do I owe you for the wiper fluid?
- 00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:11,716 It's on the house. Oh, and, uh,
- 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,219 why... Why don't you have some candy bars, as well?
- 00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:15,887 Oh, no way. That's really nice of you.
- 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:18,723 I'm a nice guy... for now.
- 00:02:18,807 --> 00:02:20,433 [Chuckling] Ohh, I don't doubt it.
- 00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:22,018 - Rick! - Yeah, yeah.
- 00:02:22,101 --> 00:02:23,812 Hey, have a good festival, old timer.
- 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:25,438 I intend to.
- 00:02:28,441 --> 00:02:29,651 Rick, unlock it!
- 00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:30,819 Just a second, Morty.
- 00:02:31,069 --> 00:02:32,612 Oh, look at that sunset.
- 00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:34,239 Stop screwing around.
- 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,199 [Click]
- 00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:38,660 There we go. Much better. Now we can see.
- 00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:39,743 Great.
- 00:02:39,786 --> 00:02:41,496 Hey, you know what, Morty?
- 00:02:41,579 --> 00:02:43,739 Why don't we christen our squeaky-clean windshield here
- 00:02:43,790 --> 00:02:45,518 by watching a little of this purge through it?
- 00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:47,377 What?! No! What is your problem?!
- 00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:49,212 Morty, grow up. If you don't want to watch,
- 00:02:49,295 --> 00:02:50,855 don't watch, but, you know, it's my car.
- 00:02:50,880 --> 00:02:52,840 [Belches] Also, if you tell your mom about this,
- 00:02:52,882 --> 00:02:54,551 - I'll purge you. - You're the worst.
- 00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:56,678 This planet is the worst. How can you be into this?
- 00:02:56,761 --> 00:02:58,513 You know, people are gonna kill each other.
- 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,574 So, what, y-y-you trying to sit here and tell me that
- 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,642 [belches] I-if... if there's a video online
- 00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:03,869 with someone getting decapitated,
- 00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:05,436 - You don't click on it? - No!
- 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,605 Why... Why would I do that? <i>You</i> do that?
- 00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:09,232 I don't, because it would bore me.
- 00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:10,835 I see shit like that for breakfast, Morty.
- 00:03:10,859 --> 00:03:12,527 But if you don't do it, I say it's because
- 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:14,290 you're afraid of your own primal instincts.
- 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,006 So you stuff them down and... [bell chiming]
- 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,490 Oh, oh! Shh. Shh. It's starting.
- 00:03:17,574 --> 00:03:19,009 - Oh-Ho-Ho! Here we go. - I'm not watching.
- 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,713 Yeah, yeah, yeah, your medal's in the mail.
- 00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:22,596 - I'm gonna get a closer look. - Oh, okay, sure.
- 00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:24,014 And then someone's gonna throw a rock
- 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:25,707 and hit the car and then we're gonna crash
- 00:03:25,790 --> 00:03:27,292 and we're gonna be stuck down there
- 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,686 and it's gonna be what we deserve.
- 00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:30,587 Yawn.
- 00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:32,338 Whoa! [Indistinct shouting]
- 00:03:32,422 --> 00:03:34,841 Whoa, they are purging the fuck out of each other.
- 00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:36,467 [Muffled screaming]
- 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:37,551 Oh, my god!
- 00:03:37,594 --> 00:03:39,637 Oh shit!
- 00:03:39,721 --> 00:03:42,724 That was... Okay, yeah. T-That was gross.
- 00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:44,976 Wow. Man, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach
- 00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:46,853 on this one, Morty. Ugh.
- 00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:49,564 My appetite for purge-spectating got f-illed pretty quick.
- 00:03:49,647 --> 00:03:51,357 Oh, god. [grunts]
- 00:03:51,441 --> 00:03:52,650 [Retching]
- 00:03:52,734 --> 00:03:55,153 [Woman screaming]
- 00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:56,654 Get away from me!
- 00:03:56,738 --> 00:03:58,239 No! No! Help!
- 00:03:58,323 --> 00:03:59,449 Somebody help me! Aah!
- 00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:01,284 All right, Morty. L-Let's get out of here.
- 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,487 Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. W-We have to go down there.
- 00:04:03,536 --> 00:04:04,829 [Belching] What? Why?
- 00:04:04,913 --> 00:04:06,998 That poor girl. W-We have to save her.
- 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:09,000 Uh, Morty, in space, we have something we call
- 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,461 the non-interference policy. We got the wiper fluid.
- 00:04:11,544 --> 00:04:13,546 We watched them kill each other. We're leaving.
- 00:04:13,630 --> 00:04:16,382 Help me save that girl, or I'm telling mom you brought me here.
- 00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:18,760 - You little turd. - [screaming]
- 00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:20,637 Please! Leave me alone!
- 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,680 Leave you alone? During a purge?
- 00:04:22,764 --> 00:04:24,349 I don't think so, baby.
- 00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:29,270 It's okay. We're not gonna hurt you.
- 00:04:29,354 --> 00:04:31,564 My name is Morty. This is my grandpa.
- 00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:34,025 - We're tourists. - Not anymore.
- 00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:35,485 - Aah! - Aah!
- 00:04:35,568 --> 00:04:37,028 Oh, my god. This is fucking awesome!
- 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,863 Morty, this is really cool.
- 00:04:38,947 --> 00:04:41,699 Hey, y-you want to help me out here and kill some people?
- 00:04:41,783 --> 00:04:43,409 It's fun. We're totally justified...
- 00:04:43,493 --> 00:04:45,328 because we're saving a little girl.
- 00:04:45,411 --> 00:04:47,830 I mean, w-w-we're both free and clear to murder these people.
- 00:04:47,914 --> 00:04:49,624 - Are you okay? - Yes.
- 00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:51,167 I have to find somewhere to hide.
- 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:52,710 Well, you can hide with us. Rick?
- 00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:54,545 - Yeah? - Do you think we could take...
- 00:04:54,629 --> 00:04:55,949 - W-What's your name? - Arthrisha.
- 00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:57,799 Could we take Arthrisha up in the ship
- 00:04:57,882 --> 00:04:59,634 and, you know, just wait out the purge?
- 00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:00,885 Oh, Morty, how can I refuse
- 00:05:00,969 --> 00:05:03,262 after all you've done to blackmail me?
- 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,978 Your vehicle... Is it from the gods?
- 00:05:10,228 --> 00:05:11,604 - No. - Yes.
- 00:05:13,189 --> 00:05:15,858 So, uh, you know, when the purge started,
- 00:05:15,942 --> 00:05:17,735 did people get into it right away,
- 00:05:17,819 --> 00:05:19,946 or were they like, "Wait, what?
- 00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,407 This is gonna stop crime how, exactly?"
- 00:05:22,490 --> 00:05:25,410 Yeah, it took some time for people to accept it.
- 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,911 Yeah, I bet. [chuckles] I bet.
- 00:05:26,995 --> 00:05:28,788 Yeah, it's kind of like cellphones, you know?
- 00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:30,206 At first, everyone was like,
- 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,600 "look at those douchebags purging."
- 00:05:31,624 --> 00:05:32,904 And then the next thing you know,
- 00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:34,627 they're like, "it's just so convenient."
- 00:05:34,711 --> 00:05:36,212 Geez, you working on your tight five
- 00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:37,797 for the comedy store, Morty?
- 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:42,927 Whatcha doing?
- 00:05:43,011 --> 00:05:45,430 Watching some TV, playing on your phone?
- 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:48,391 - Is that a real question? - Just making conversation.
- 00:05:48,474 --> 00:05:50,977 Are you? What part of that gives me anything to work with?
- 00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:53,855 My choice is to say nothing, be sarcastic,
- 00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:55,898 or bark "yes" like a trained animal.
- 00:05:55,982 --> 00:05:57,483 It's not a conversation.
- 00:05:57,567 --> 00:05:59,027 You're holding me verbally hostage.
- 00:05:59,277 --> 00:06:01,404 Okay, ass-face. I'll go in the kitchen.
- 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:02,697 - Hey, Dad. - Yeah?
- 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,407 Whatcha doing? Going into the kitchen?
- 00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,658 Okay.
- 00:06:05,742 --> 00:06:07,368 - Yeah, you like that? - Screw you.
- 00:06:07,452 --> 00:06:11,581 So, uh, do most people wear masks when they purge?
- 00:06:11,664 --> 00:06:13,833 I-I don't want to answer any more purge questions.
- 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,710 All right, hey, hey, that's cool.
- 00:06:15,793 --> 00:06:17,503 I can roll with that.
- 00:06:21,674 --> 00:06:24,260 [Blowing raspberries]
- 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,553 - [Gasps] My nana! - Huh?
- 00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:27,680 My nana! We have to save her!
- 00:06:29,682 --> 00:06:31,851 You just now remembered your nana exists.
- 00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,853 I-I was traumatized.
- 00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:35,938 Haven't you been through like 15 purges?
- 00:06:36,022 --> 00:06:37,148 I mean, some as a child?
- 00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:38,983 Will somebody just help me get her?
- 00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:40,943 Fine, whatever. Morty, stay.
- 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:53,039 Oh, god. Oh, crap. Oh, crap!
- 00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,916 - Get out! Get out! - Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- 00:06:54,999 --> 00:06:57,168 Get the fuck out of the flying machine!
- 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,878 Oh, my god! O-Okay! Okay!
- 00:06:58,961 --> 00:07:00,463 - Back up, asshole. - [whimpers]
- 00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:01,964 - Back up. - Ohh.
- 00:07:02,048 --> 00:07:04,467 - Back the fuck up! - Aah!
- 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:07,470 For what it's worth, I'm sorry,
- 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:09,573 but that's not really worth anything tonight, is it?
- 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:12,475 Y-You can't leave us here. You're killing us!
- 00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,936 You hear me? Come back.
- 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:18,564 Y-You got to come back. Change your mind.
- 00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:20,066 Oh, geez.
- 00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:23,027 Morty! Aah! Fucking Amish bitch shot me!
- 00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:24,821 [Grunts] She tried to purge me, Morty.
- 00:07:24,904 --> 00:07:26,989 You let your wiener do the walking, and now I'm dead.
- 00:07:27,073 --> 00:07:29,492 - Rick, she took the car! - You fucking kidding me, Morty?!
- 00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:30,868 She took my car and the gun.
- 00:07:30,952 --> 00:07:32,662 We're like the rest of these assholes now.
- 00:07:32,745 --> 00:07:34,080 W-W-We're gonna get purged, Morty.
- 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,540 Help me up.
- 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,017 Oh, geez, geez! Wait a minute, Rick.
- 00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:38,668 Why don't we just use your portal gun?
- 00:07:38,751 --> 00:07:39,919 It's in the car, dip-ass.
- 00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,504 [Grunts] Oh, god, it hurts.
- 00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:43,315 She got me right in the goddamn liver, Morty.
- 00:07:43,339 --> 00:07:45,317 It's the hardest-working liver in the galaxy, Morty,
- 00:07:45,341 --> 00:07:47,319 and now it has a hole in it. I hope it was worth it.
- 00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:48,803 I was just trying to do right.
- 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,206 Yeah, well, that's not really the theme of tonight's party.
- 00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:52,765 Heads up. Rapists.
- 00:07:52,849 --> 00:07:54,249 Well, don't just stand there, Morty.
- 00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:55,350 - Purge 'em. - Me?
- 00:07:55,393 --> 00:07:57,228 No, me. Should I rub my liver hole on them?
- 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,147 Pick up a stick or something and kill them.
- 00:07:59,397 --> 00:08:00,997 - Um, w-we come in peace. - [screaming]
- 00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,401 Oh, my god. [grunts]
- 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:06,946 There's more where that came from!
- 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:08,382 You want to get purged, you bring it!
- 00:08:08,406 --> 00:08:11,284 Drop [belches] drop your shit! Drop it all.
- 00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,035 Morty, go get their shit. Hurry up.
- 00:08:13,119 --> 00:08:14,704 I only had one of those things I threw.
- 00:08:14,787 --> 00:08:16,455 I'm holding a box of Tic Tacs right now.
- 00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:20,877 - Want some crackers? - No, thank you.
- 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,545 Are you ready to be nice to me?
- 00:08:22,628 --> 00:08:24,422 In exchange for crackers?
- 00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:27,175 - What happened to you? - Dad, get a job.
- 00:08:27,425 --> 00:08:29,844 You're trying to create drama because you're bored.
- 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,971 Oh. [beeping, whirring]
- 00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:34,473 It's the space phone Grandpa gave us.
- 00:08:34,557 --> 00:08:36,392 - Hello? - Hey, Summer, it's Grandpa.
- 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:38,269 I need you to do me a favor.
- 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:39,792 - I can barely hear you. - Who is it?
- 00:08:39,854 --> 00:08:41,534 Morty and I are on a planet that's purging.
- 00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,858 - I need you to take down... - A plan that's what?
- 00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:45,902 We're on a planet that's purging, Summer. Purging.
- 00:08:45,985 --> 00:08:48,529 We lost our car and my gun, and we're in a purge.
- 00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:50,215 - Ooh, is it Taddi Mason? - Like the movie "The Purge"?
- 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:51,991 Yes, I-I need you to take...
- 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,368 - That movie sucked. - Oh, my god. Hold on.
- 00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:56,120 It's not Taddi Mason?
- 00:08:56,204 --> 00:08:57,872 Dad, who the fuck is Taddi Mason?
- 00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,040 - My friend. - Aah!
- 00:08:59,123 --> 00:09:00,642 Are you okay? I'm putting you on speaker.
- 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,293 - Taddi? - Yes, Jerry, it's Taddi,
- 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:04,086 a person no one's ever heard of until now,
- 00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:05,755 calling you on a space phone.
- 00:09:05,838 --> 00:09:07,482 JERRY: I can't tell if you're being sarcastic.
- 00:09:07,506 --> 00:09:09,383 [Growls]
- 00:09:09,467 --> 00:09:10,968 Aah!
- 00:09:11,052 --> 00:09:12,511 [Growling]
- 00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:14,555 [Gunshots] Reload, fast.
- 00:09:14,639 --> 00:09:16,479 Summer, w-we need you to take down this number.
- 00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,893 - Quit screwing around. - Morty? Are you all right?
- 00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,062 - No! - Why are <i>you</i> with Taddi Mason?
- 00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:23,439 Holy shit Dad! Shut the fuck up!
- 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:26,984 Okay. I guess I'm just this entire family's toilet paper.
- 00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:29,129 Are you writing this down? Will you please write this down?
- 00:09:29,153 --> 00:09:32,240 - SUMMER: Yes, yes. - 7-7-1-9-8...
- 00:09:32,490 --> 00:09:36,244 - [growling] - ...3-6-4-2-1-1-2-5.
- 00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:38,120 Aah!
- 00:09:38,204 --> 00:09:41,540 [Growling]
- 00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:43,793 You son of a bitch!
- 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:45,520 Morty, I don't want to be the "a little help" guy,
- 00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:48,172 but a little help?
- 00:09:48,256 --> 00:09:50,091 - Aah! - Okay, I have a pen. Go.
- 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:53,844 7-7-1-9-8-3- 6-4-2-1-1-2-5.
- 00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:55,137 A spoon, Morty?
- 00:09:55,221 --> 00:09:56,347 - A spoon?! - I'm sorry.
- 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,099 There's a pile of silverware next to you,
- 00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,410 and you throw me the one thing that can never kill anything?
- 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,019 All right, okay!
- 00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:04,164 Summer, on the shelf above my workbench in the garage,
- 00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:05,898 there's a red box with a keypad on it.
- 00:10:05,982 --> 00:10:07,733 You're gonna take that box outside,
- 00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:10,170 and you're gonna type the number I just gave you into the keypad.
- 00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:11,654 - Got it? - Got it.
- 00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,548 Is it just part of growing up to hate your dad?
- 00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:16,492 I'm ignoring you.
- 00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,470 Morty, if I can get to the top of that lighthouse,
- 00:10:18,494 --> 00:10:20,597 I can send the beacon, and your sister can launch our package.
- 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:22,290 Just remember, if there's people in there
- 00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:24,184 and they try to purge us, we got to purge them first.
- 00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:26,228 We're not purging anyone, Rick, all right? W-Will you stop it?
- 00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:27,962 Morty, if we're gonna survive tonight,
- 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:30,506 you're gonna need to harness your repressed rage.
- 00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:31,589 I don't have any!
- 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:34,468 Spoken like a person with repressed rage.
- 00:10:34,552 --> 00:10:37,263 [Doorbell rings]
- 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,098 I take no part in the festival.
- 00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:41,600 If you desire to kill me, I only ask you do it quickly.
- 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,060 No such agenda, chief.
- 00:10:43,144 --> 00:10:44,788 We're not too keen on the purge, either, sir.
- 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,999 We were just hoping to get on the roof of your lighthouse
- 00:10:47,023 --> 00:10:48,858 so we can send a beacon to my sister on Earth.
- 00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,651 - It's a different planet. - By the way,
- 00:10:50,735 --> 00:10:53,487 life on other planets exists. Don't let it distract you.
- 00:10:53,571 --> 00:10:55,966 I'll let you use my lighthouse for shelter and beacon-sending
- 00:10:55,990 --> 00:10:57,634 on the condition that you listen to my tale.
- 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,535 - Okay. - Deal.
- 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:01,471 All right, I'm gonna go to the roof and set things up.
- 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,497 - Morty, you listen to his tale. - Okay.
- 00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,255 [Clears throat]
- 00:11:11,339 --> 00:11:13,632 "Fade in. Exterior. Unnamed city. Day.
- 00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:15,718 The hustle and bustle is a symphony of progress.
- 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:18,429 We pan past windows, each of which contain a different story,
- 00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:21,557 to find Jacey Lakims, 28... Hot, but doesn't know it.
- 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,076 Jacey stops when her high heel gets caught
- 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:24,727 in the grating of a sewer.
- 00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:27,313 Suddenly, a man steps into frame and points a gun at her.
- 00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:29,482 This is not her day.
- 00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:30,983 Fade to black.
- 00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:33,986 Title... 'three weeks earlier. ""
- 00:11:36,364 --> 00:11:39,116 [sighs] You really don't want to talk to me about this.
- 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,577 Dad, Grandpa and Morty are in danger.
- 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,204 You're unemployed, and you're bored.
- 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:45,998 - They're a higher priority. - Stop saying I'm unemployed!
- 00:11:46,082 --> 00:11:49,335 Okay, 7-7-19-.8... 364... 2-1-1
- 00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:52,254 2... Aah! - Good lord! Now what?
- 00:11:52,338 --> 00:11:54,131 [Whirring, humming]
- 00:11:54,215 --> 00:11:57,468 Look, I'm your father, and I love you is all I'm saying.
- 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,762 - I'll leave it at that. - Fine, dad!
- 00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,263 [Both scream]
- 00:12:01,347 --> 00:12:04,100 Oh, he might have said to take it outside.
- 00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:05,476 RICK: Come on, Summer.
- 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,770 How hard is it to type some numbers into a box?
- 00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,230 <i>Target locked. [device beeps]</i>
- 00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:10,773 Oh, thank god.
- 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:13,317 Well, I did my job. Summer did her job.
- 00:12:13,401 --> 00:12:16,904 Now all Morty has to do is finish listening to that tale.
- 00:12:16,987 --> 00:12:19,365 BLANE: Maybe I don't need a new friend.
- 00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:21,909 JACEY: Maybe you're the only friend I need.
- 00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:24,078 BLANE: Need, or want?
- 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,163 JACEY: I've never been much for wanting.
- 00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:28,791 BLANE: Spoken like someone with needs.
- 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,042 - Oh, geez. - Hmm?
- 00:12:30,126 --> 00:12:32,044 Uh, sorry. K-Keep going.
- 00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:33,963 "Jacey reaches out and touches his face.
- 00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:35,406 It's clear he needs what she wants.
- 00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:37,174 She's a woman. He's a man.
- 00:12:37,258 --> 00:12:39,844 The city burns in the background as he takes her in his arms.
- 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,095 Fade out.
- 00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:43,013 Title... 'The End'...
- 00:12:43,097 --> 00:12:44,097 question mark."
- 00:12:44,140 --> 00:12:45,433 - Wow. - Yeah?
- 00:12:45,683 --> 00:12:48,269 It's... G-Good job. Good job.
- 00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:49,854 - You liked it? - Of course I did.
- 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,730 You didn't laugh at the scene in the bar.
- 00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:54,775 I... thought it was funny, but I wanted to hear the rest.
- 00:12:54,859 --> 00:12:56,610 Do you have any thoughts? Notes?
- 00:12:56,694 --> 00:12:58,737 No. I-I just enjoyed it.
- 00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,990 That's my note, you know? Please write more.
- 00:13:01,073 --> 00:13:03,200 - Seems a little insincere. - What? No.
- 00:13:03,284 --> 00:13:04,869 You don't have to mollycoddle me.
- 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:07,013 I want to improve my writing. Tell me your real thoughts.
- 00:13:07,037 --> 00:13:09,957 All right. Well, um, I'm not a huge fan, personally,
- 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,920 of the whole "three weeks earlier" teaser thing.
- 00:13:12,001 --> 00:13:13,461 I feel like, you know,
- 00:13:13,711 --> 00:13:14,938 we should start our stories where they begin
- 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,562 not start them where they get interest...
- 00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:18,090 - Get out. - Um, what?
- 00:13:18,174 --> 00:13:19,884 No, I'm sick of this. You bang on my door,
- 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:21,945 you beg me to help you, I share something personal with you,
- 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,304 and you take a giant shit on it.
- 00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:25,115 Hey, man, we asked if we could put up a beacon...
- 00:13:25,139 --> 00:13:26,616 Well, you can't. I want you out of here.
- 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,118 You're a petty person, and you're insecure,
- 00:13:28,142 --> 00:13:30,036 and you're taking it out on me. That's a good script.
- 00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,228 What the hell?!
- 00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:32,438 I don't care. I want you out.
- 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:34,023 - What? - Take that thing down.
- 00:13:34,106 --> 00:13:35,983 Your grandson is a shitty person. Leave now.
- 00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:37,546 - Morty! - Rick, I didn't do anything.
- 00:13:37,735 --> 00:13:39,236 I sat through his entire screenplay...
- 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,488 You "sat through it"?
- 00:13:40,738 --> 00:13:42,448 Yes! Did you want me to weep with joy?
- 00:13:42,698 --> 00:13:45,242 - It's terrible! - Whoa Morty! We're guests here.
- 00:13:45,326 --> 00:13:48,037 I tried to be a good guest! He dragged it out of me!
- 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,390 - I'm taking down this beacon. - No, stop! That's not fair!
- 00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:52,124 Just because you hate your own writing
- 00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:53,709 doesn't make me a bad person!
- 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:54,793 Aah!
- 00:13:56,337 --> 00:13:59,173 You like that? You want me to cut to three weeks earlier
- 00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:00,299 when you were alive?
- 00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:03,177 RICK: Whoa, Morty. You just purged.
- 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,054 <i>Beacon arriving. [device beeps]</i>
- 00:14:05,137 --> 00:14:06,889 Okay, time to go.
- 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,974 - Well, terrific. - [sighs]
- 00:14:09,058 --> 00:14:11,936 Dad, what's going on? What's the deal here?
- 00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:14,188 I just wanted to spend some time with my daughter.
- 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:15,940 You're growing up so fast.
- 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,001 - You used to be my little girl. - [chuckles] Yeah.
- 00:14:18,025 --> 00:14:19,503 Remember when we used to go to the playground,
- 00:14:19,527 --> 00:14:21,070 and I'd push you on the swings?
- 00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:23,489 Oh, you could push me higher than all the other kids.
- 00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:25,366 You were so small and cute.
- 00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:27,511 I thought you were gonna fly right off into the street.
- 00:14:27,535 --> 00:14:29,453 [Chuckling] I used to pee my pants.
- 00:14:29,537 --> 00:14:31,747 I know, and now look at you!
- 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,916 You have a job. You're making really good money.
- 00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:35,209 You're not paying any rent,
- 00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:37,211 so you have plenty of disposable income.
- 00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:38,629 Oh, god, Dad. Please, don't.
- 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,381 I just need a few hundred dollars
- 00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:42,442 to get through the month. I have some interviews coming up.
- 00:14:42,466 --> 00:14:44,194 Something's gonna come through. I can feel it.
- 00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:45,386 I'm going inside.
- 00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:47,221 [Door shuts]
- 00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,699 [Sighs] I guess this is what rock bottom feels like, Jerry.
- 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,225 Ow!
- 00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:53,227 It's okay, Morty. It's the purge, you know?
- 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,896 Pushing old lighthouse keepers down the stairs is totally cool.
- 00:14:55,980 --> 00:14:58,399 It's not cool, Rick. I-I'm not like these people.
- 00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:00,359 I can't run around chopping people's heads off
- 00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:02,778 one day a year and then sleep well the rest of the time.
- 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:05,061 Well, you better start getting used to it, little bitch,
- 00:15:05,114 --> 00:15:07,408 because we got some fucking company.
- 00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:09,118 Hey, there he is.
- 00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:10,578 Here I am.
- 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,085 [Beacon whirring]
- 00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,380 Morty.
- 00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,299 Time to [belches] purge.
- 00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,636 [Gunfire, screaming]
- 00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:31,390 [Tony! Toni! Toné!'s "Feels Good" plays]
- 00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:33,601 - [Screaming] - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:15:33,851 --> 00:15:35,227 ♪ Yeah ♪
- 00:15:35,311 --> 00:15:36,895 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,897 ♪ I feel it all in my soul ♪
- 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,691 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,693 Geez. Wow, Morty. Now you're getting into it.
- 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,570 Never expected that out of you.
- 00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,864 All right, uh, let's go find my ship.
- 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:54,580 Hey, hey, Morty, Morty. There it is down there... My ship.
- 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:55,873 It looks to me like the...
- 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,082 Morty? [gunfire]
- 00:15:57,166 --> 00:15:58,709 - Suck my dick! - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,085 Eat this!
- 00:16:00,169 --> 00:16:01,354 Ooh, boy, you're really, uh...
- 00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:02,618 - Ha-Ha! Ha! - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,590 You're really going for it over there, huh?
- 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,484 I, uh [belches]... I think, uh [belches]...
- 00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,093 I think those people were just hiding.
- 00:16:08,177 --> 00:16:09,720 I don't give a shit! [gunfire]
- 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,573 Okay, Morty, now you're just shooting corpses.
- 00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:13,307 - How do you like this? - Okay, buddy.
- 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,017 All right. That's good. Good job.
- 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,143 [Screams]
- 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:17,895 Time to go home.
- 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:22,858 [Weapon charging]
- 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,261 Wait, stop! Please, don't kill me!
- 00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,487 I-I never intended to harm you, I swear.
- 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,739 I am trying to end the festival.
- 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,325 - W-W-What do you mean? - I was going to use your ship
- 00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:34,370 to destroy the rich assholes that run our society
- 00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:37,498 and save my people from the horrors of this yearly festival.
- 00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,209 Fuck that, Rick! We gotta kill her! Kill her! Kill her!
- 00:16:40,292 --> 00:16:42,461 Whoa! Geez, Morty, purge it down a little.
- 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,088 "Purge! Don't purge!"
- 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,691 You're sending me mixed messages, Rick.
- 00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:47,275 Morty [belches]... you're acting like
- 00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:48,539 a [belches]... freaking lunatic.
- 00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:50,219 - Calm down. - Screw you, Rick!
- 00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,596 I'll purge you, too, you old, rickety piece of crap!
- 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,515 This has been a long time coming!
- 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:56,183 I'm gonna rip your fucking guts out
- 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,586 and smear them all over your face!
- 00:16:57,643 --> 00:16:58,769 I ain't taking no sh...
- 00:16:58,852 --> 00:17:00,688 - Aah! - Okay, s-sorry about that.
- 00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:02,690 Now, where are these rich people?
- 00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:05,943 [String quartet playing]
- 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,445 [Glass clinking]
- 00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:11,281 To another successful year of the festival,
- 00:17:11,365 --> 00:17:15,077 pitting poor people against each other for thousands of years.
- 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,079 [Tony! Toni! Toné!'s "Feels Good" plays]
- 00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:19,081 Wait, w-where is that music coming from?
- 00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:21,458 What is the meaning of this? - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:17:21,542 --> 00:17:23,210 Here's the deal. I'm not here to judge.
- 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:24,653 I'm just a guy from another planet.
- 00:17:24,712 --> 00:17:26,312 But this girl is one of your poor people,
- 00:17:26,338 --> 00:17:27,857 and I guess you guys felt like it was okay
- 00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,550 to subject her to inhuman conditions
- 00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:31,802 because there was no chance of it ever hurting you.
- 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,679 It's sort of the socio-political equivalent
- 00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:36,098 of, say, a suit of power armor around you.
- 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,143 But now things are evened out, so, Arthrisha?
- 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:41,270 [All gasp]
- 00:17:41,353 --> 00:17:43,564 Happy Festival cock suckers!
- 00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:46,108 Suck my cock! Chew my balls!
- 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,401 Suck my huge dick!
- 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,527 - Geez. - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:50,154 You want to get in on this, Rick?
- 00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,531 No, I really... Honestly, I-I've had my fill.
- 00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:53,991 It's gratuitous at this point.
- 00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,427 You sure you don't want to join in?
- 00:17:55,451 --> 00:17:57,131 This is really amazing. - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:59,705 Yeah, but... Ah, all right. Fuck it.
- 00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:02,541 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:04,251 Yeah, bitch, what's up?
- 00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:07,963 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:18:08,046 --> 00:18:10,424 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:11,717 ♪ Yeah ♪
- 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,302 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:15,179 Whoa!
- 00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:17,264 ♪ Ohh, it feels good ♪
- 00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:19,183 Okay, now it's time we do a little dancing
- 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,643 to... to Tony! Toni! Toné! - ♪ It feels good, yeah ♪
- 00:18:21,727 --> 00:18:23,562 Look at my fucking feet, motherfucker!
- 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,731 Whoo! Aw, yeah! ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:27,441 Arthrisha, what do you got?
- 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:28,918 Check this move out. ♪ Oh, it feels good ♪
- 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,612 [Belches] Oh, ho!
- 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:34,448 I don't know what song that is, but I fucking love it!
- 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,866 "Feels Good."
- 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:37,701 It's a fucking hit song. - ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:18:37,785 --> 00:18:39,703 Topped the charts, I think. Ho, ho!
- 00:18:39,787 --> 00:18:42,122 ♪ Oh, it feels good ♪
- 00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:43,665 [Rooster crows]
- 00:18:43,749 --> 00:18:45,167 Hey, thanks for helping me, Rick.
- 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:46,710 You're a pretty great guy.
- 00:18:46,794 --> 00:18:48,754 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you for shooting my liver.
- 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:50,339 I'll see you around.
- 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:52,633 Oh, man. What... What happened?
- 00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:54,176 Don't worry about it, Morty.
- 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:55,653 Listen, if you wanted to try to get a piece,
- 00:18:55,677 --> 00:18:58,305 you better hurry up. Now's your last chance.
- 00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,307 Hey, hey, Arthrisha, um, maybe I could...
- 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:02,309 Uh, I have a boyfriend.
- 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:03,787 - Okay. - I'm not trying to be rude.
- 00:19:03,811 --> 00:19:05,288 I just... I don't want to lead you on.
- 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,147 I-I-I understand.
- 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:09,691 I mean, thank you so much for helping end the festival,
- 00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:12,569 but I have a boyfriend, and, uh, he's just...
- 00:19:12,653 --> 00:19:14,279 Okay, okay, you can stop saying it.
- 00:19:14,363 --> 00:19:15,563 I took it okay the first time,
- 00:19:15,614 --> 00:19:17,199 and now you're just repeating stuff.
- 00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:19,034 - Oh, I'm sorry. - It's okay.
- 00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:22,371 Oh, you're so sweet, I just... Oh, but I can't.
- 00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:23,914 Yeah, you're still doing it.
- 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:27,626 It won't be easy creating a new society from the ground up.
- 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:31,046 Well, a helpful rule might be if you need something, you get it.
- 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,798 - Pretty simple, right? - I need food.
- 00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,634 - Who's got food for that guy? - I do, but this is for me.
- 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:36,969 Can't you make some more?
- 00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:39,513 Oh, sure. And while I'm making food for everyone,
- 00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,515 who takes care of my kids?
- 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:45,519 I'll take care of your kids, if I get some extra food for it.
- 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,020 Extra food?
- 00:19:47,104 --> 00:19:49,857 Well, I'm not gonna do extra work if we all get the same.
- 00:19:50,107 --> 00:19:51,525 All right, okay, fair is fair.
- 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,402 If you do extra work, you get extra food.
- 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:55,279 - Oh. - [all murmuring]
- 00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:56,613 Who's gonna keep track
- 00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:59,032 of who gets how much food for how much work?
- 00:19:59,116 --> 00:20:00,659 Hello. I can do that.
- 00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:02,494 I'll keep track of everyone's food,
- 00:20:02,578 --> 00:20:04,246 you know, in exchange for food.
- 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,747 That's not a real job!
- 00:20:05,831 --> 00:20:07,833 Oh, and making food is?
- 00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:10,252 You son of a bitch!
- 00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:11,545 Eat this!
- 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,630 [All screaming]
- 00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:15,841 Guys, guys, guys, guys, whoa, whoa.
- 00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,427 Cool it, now. Take it easy.
- 00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:20,721 There's too much aggression here.
- 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:22,848 What if we designate a period of time
- 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:26,101 during which we can all get this hate, murder,
- 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:29,021 and rage out of our system...
- 00:20:29,104 --> 00:20:30,564 I can't help but feel ashamed
- 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:32,232 about what I did back there, Rick.
- 00:20:32,316 --> 00:20:34,544 I guess you were right. I've got a lot of repressed stuff
- 00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,570 I need to deal with. - Don't worry about it, Morty.
- 00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:38,363 Remember those candy bars earlier...
- 00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:40,574 that we got in the first act? - Yeah, what about them?
- 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,826 Turns out they have a chemical in them called purgenol
- 00:20:42,910 --> 00:20:44,745 that amplifies all your violent tendencies.
- 00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:46,997 Oh, boy. Whew! Thank goodness for that, huh?
- 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,248 That's a relief.
- 00:20:48,332 --> 00:20:49,458 Yep. Don't even sweat.
- 00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:50,810 You're still the same old Morty.
- 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:53,754 Your character's totally protected.
- 00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:56,840 ♪ It feels good ♪
- 00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:58,759 ♪♪
- 00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:30,624 MAN: <i>And there's the approach.</i>
- 00:21:30,707 --> 00:21:32,876 Jerry, what is "Taddi Mason LLC,"
- 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,045 and why is our phone bill $700?
- 00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,713 - Uh... <i>- Hey, are you bored...</i>
- 00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:38,215 - Uh... <i>- ...lonely,</i>
- 00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:39,716 <i>just looking for a friend?</i>
- 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,301 Call me, Taddi Mason.
- 00:21:41,385 --> 00:21:42,886 <i>It's only $1. 99 a minute to talk.</i>
- 00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:44,638 - Uh... <i>- Sign up today,</i>
- 00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:46,598 <i>and I'll even call you on a regular basis...</i>
- 00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:48,117 - Uh... <i>- ...for just $1. 99 a minute.</i>
- 00:21:48,141 --> 00:21:50,394 <i>That's a steal because I'm a great pal.</i>
- 00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:52,896 We could talk about sports or barbecue.
- 00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:53,981 [Grunts]
- 00:21:54,982 --> 00:21:56,900 Jerry, get a job.
- 00:21:56,984 --> 00:21:58,402 Oh, my god!
- 00:21:58,485 --> 00:21:59,903 Did you get any of that?
- 00:21:59,987 --> 00:22:01,947 It's-a good-a show!
- 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:03,920 Хочу сказать тебе, Рик, довольно здорово
- 00:00:03,970 --> 00:00:05,930 быть в этом космическом корабле только вдвоём, да?
- 00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:07,820 Просто странствуем, в стиле Рика и Морти.
- 00:00:07,850 --> 00:00:08,900 Согласен, Морти.
- 00:00:08,970 --> 00:00:10,300 Здорово вернуться к истокам
- 00:00:10,420 --> 00:00:12,459 после довольно напряжённой мешанины в этом году.
- 00:00:12,460 --> 00:00:13,670 Ох!
- 00:00:13,070 --> 00:00:13,670 Расслабься.
- 00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:15,029 Вот для чего нужны дворники.
- 00:00:15,030 --> 00:00:16,950 Я не знал, что в космосе есть жуки.
- 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,370 Ну, ч-что ты думал, Морти?
- 00:00:18,450 --> 00:00:20,300 Жизнь развилась на Земле сама по себе?
- 00:00:20,370 --> 00:00:21,770 Сейчас, дай-ка я разберусь с этим.
- 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,070 Боже, Рик, это отвратительно.
- 00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:26,010 Не хочется смотреть на это.
- 00:00:26,011 --> 00:00:27,470 Да, похоже у меня закончилось моющее средство.
- 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:29,350 Д-дай я найду, где можно остановиться.
- 00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,669 Эй, парнишка, на твоей планете уже есть моющее средство,
- 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,549 или ты перепугаешься и начнёшь обожествлять нас?
- 00:00:38,550 --> 00:00:40,549 В универмаге должно быть то, что Вам нужно.
- 00:00:40,550 --> 00:00:41,290 Спасибо.
- 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:44,059 И разумеется, Вам нужно покинуть это место до заката.
- 00:00:44,060 --> 00:00:46,059 Да, конечно. Погоди. Что? Почему?
- 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:48,290 На закате начинается фестиваль.
- 00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:49,399 Фестиваль?
- 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,560 Оо, ну, на протяжении тысяч лет,
- 00:00:51,570 --> 00:00:54,470 наше общество было свободно от преступлений и войн,
- 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,149 живя в абсолютном мире.
- 00:00:56,150 --> 00:00:57,200 О, я знаю, в чём тут дело!
- 00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:58,920 Вам удавалось поддерживать мир
- 00:00:58,970 --> 00:01:01,296 потому, что у вас есть одна ночь в году, когда вы все носитесь,
- 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,220 грабите и убиваете друг-друга без последствий.
- 00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,200 Верно.
- 00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:04,200 Что?!
- 00:01:04,250 --> 00:01:06,409 Это как "Судная ночь", Морти. Тот фильм - "Судная ночь"?
- 00:01:06,410 --> 00:01:07,920 О, Вы здесь уже были?
- 00:01:07,950 --> 00:01:10,100 Нет, нет, просто я уже бывал на нескольких планетах с такой же штукой.
- 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,889 Знаете, иногда это называется очищение или красное время.
- 00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:14,950 Был один мир, который называл это ночью убийств.
- 00:01:15,170 --> 00:01:16,600 Э-это планета чистки.
- 00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:18,660 Они мирные, но также, знаешь, они проводят чистку.
- 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,100 Э-это ужасно!
- 00:01:20,230 --> 00:01:21,230 Да.
- 00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:23,120 Хочешь заценить это?
- 00:01:23,430 --> 00:01:25,770 ♪
- 00:01:51,460 --> 00:01:55,170 Перевод - savask, стили и тайминг - alexeymil0, английские субтитры - kalkar
- 00:01:55,470 --> 00:01:56,950 Так что Вы делаете во время фестиваля?
- 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,250 Запираетесь или выходите и что-то делаете?
- 00:01:59,270 --> 00:02:01,300 О, я делаю довольно плохие вещи.
- 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,969 О, готов поспорить, что это так, старик. Ха-ха-ха!
- 00:02:03,970 --> 00:02:06,170 Боже... Рик, давай. Солнце садится.
- 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,410 Н-нам надо убираться отсюда.
- 00:02:07,450 --> 00:02:09,600 Ладно, ну, с-сколько я должен за моющее средство?
- 00:02:09,670 --> 00:02:11,809 За счёт заведения. О, и, эм,
- 00:02:11,810 --> 00:02:14,400 почему... почему бы вам также не взять шоколадных батончиков?
- 00:02:14,420 --> 00:02:16,226 О, не может быть. Это так любезно с Вашей стороны.
- 00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:18,819 Я хороший парень... Пока что.
- 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:20,550 О-хо-хо, без сомнений.
- 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:21,950 Рик!
- 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:21,950 Да, да.
- 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,120 Эй, хорошего фестиваля, старик.
- 00:02:24,130 --> 00:02:25,790 Так и планирую.
- 00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:29,799 Рик, открой!
- 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:30,929 Секунду, Морти.
- 00:02:30,930 --> 00:02:32,729 О, посмотри на этот закат.
- 00:02:32,730 --> 00:02:34,070 Хватит дурачиться!
- 00:02:36,140 --> 00:02:38,969 Вот так. Намного лучше. Теперь мы можем видеть.
- 00:02:38,970 --> 00:02:39,970 Здорово.
- 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,505 Эй, знаешь что, Морти?
- 00:02:41,506 --> 00:02:43,840 Почему бы нам не "крестить" наше до блеска чистое стекло,
- 00:02:43,850 --> 00:02:45,750 посмотрев немного чистки через него?
- 00:02:45,810 --> 00:02:47,619 Что?! Нет! Что с тобой не так?!
- 00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:49,400 Морти, повзрослей. Если не хочешь смотреть,
- 00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:51,250 не смотри. Но, знаешь, это моя машина.
- 00:02:51,270 --> 00:02:53,300 Также, если расскажешь маме об этом,
- 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:54,650 я зачищу тебя.
- 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:54,650 Ты - отстой.
- 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:57,119 И эта планета отстой. Как тебя может это интересовать?
- 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,450 Знаешь, люди будут убивать друг друга.
- 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,800 И что, т-т-ты собираешься сидеть тут и говорить,
- 00:03:00,870 --> 00:03:02,900 что е-если найдёшь видео онлайн,
- 00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,176 где кого-нибудь обезглавливают,
- 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,360 ты не щёлкнешь по нему?
- 00:03:04,870 --> 00:03:05,360 Нет!
- 00:03:05,370 --> 00:03:07,699 Почему... почему я вообще буду такое делать? <i>Ты</i> так делаешь?
- 00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,169 Нет, потому, что мне будет скучно.
- 00:03:09,170 --> 00:03:10,869 Для меня такие штуки - пустяк, Морти.
- 00:03:10,870 --> 00:03:12,669 Но если ты так не делаешь, так, по моему, это потому,
- 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,250 что ты боишься своих собственных основных инстинктов.
- 00:03:14,270 --> 00:03:15,696 Так что ты зарываешь их поглубже и...
- 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,379 О. о! Шш, шш, начинается.
- 00:03:17,380 --> 00:03:18,849 О-хо-хо! Начали.
- 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:19,670 Я не смотрю.
- 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,149 Да, да, да, твоя медаль придёт по почте.
- 00:03:21,150 --> 00:03:22,199 Я посмотрю поближе.
- 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,000 О, давай, конечно.
- 00:03:23,050 --> 00:03:24,400 А потом кто-нибудь кинет камень,
- 00:03:24,420 --> 00:03:25,969 собьёт машину, мы разобьёмся
- 00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:27,350 и мы застрянем там внизу
- 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,576 и это будет то, чего мы заслуживаем.
- 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,600 Скучно.
- 00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:32,220 Воу!
- 00:03:32,230 --> 00:03:34,960 Воу, они вычищают дерьмо друг из друга.
- 00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:37,450 О, Боже мой!
- 00:03:37,630 --> 00:03:38,720 О, чёрт.
- 00:03:39,730 --> 00:03:42,669 Это было... Ладно, да. Э-то было отвратительно.
- 00:03:42,670 --> 00:03:45,520 Вау, чувак. Думаю я был чересчур жадным
- 00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:46,969 до этого, Морти. Ух.
- 00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:49,709 Мой аппетит до чистки быстро удовлетворился.
- 00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:51,480 О, Боже.
- 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:56,749 Отойдите от меня!
- 00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:58,150 Нет! Нет! Помогите!
- 00:03:58,250 --> 00:03:59,395 Кто-нибудь, помогите! Ааа!
- 00:03:59,396 --> 00:04:01,189 Ладно, Морти. Д-давай убираться отсюда.
- 00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:03,559 Погоди, погоди, погоди. Подожди. М-мы должны спуститься туда.
- 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:04,920 Что? Почему?
- 00:04:04,930 --> 00:04:07,400 Та бедная девочка. Мы должны спасти её.
- 00:04:07,470 --> 00:04:09,159 Эм, Морти, в космосе, есть кое-что, что мы называем
- 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,850 политикой невмешательства. Мы достали моющее средство.
- 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,626 Мы посмотрели, как они убивают друг-друга. Мы уходим.
- 00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:16,296 Помоги мне спасти ту девочку или я расскажу маме, что ты привёз меня сюда.
- 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,470 Ах, ты говнюк.
- 00:04:18,870 --> 00:04:20,770 Пожалуйста! Оставьте меня в покое!
- 00:04:20,780 --> 00:04:22,779 Оставить тебя в покое? Во время чистки?
- 00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:24,440 Я так не думаю, детка.
- 00:04:27,710 --> 00:04:29,470 Всё нормально. Мы не причиним тебе вред.
- 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,680 Я - Морти. Это - мой дедушка.
- 00:04:31,690 --> 00:04:32,520 Мы - туристы.
- 00:04:32,521 --> 00:04:33,700 Больше нет.
- 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,650 Ааа! Ааа!
- 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,426 О, Боже мой! Это просто *****сь как здорово!
- 00:04:37,450 --> 00:04:39,200 Морти, это реально здорово.
- 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,900 Эй, х-хочешь помочь мне и поубивать людей?
- 00:04:41,950 --> 00:04:43,600 Это весело. Всё полностью оправдано,
- 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,020 ведь мы спасаем маленькую девочку.
- 00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:47,800 То есть, н-н-нам обоим можно убивать этих людей.
- 00:04:47,850 --> 00:04:48,919 С тобой всё в порядке?
- 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:49,770 Да.
- 00:04:49,771 --> 00:04:51,119 Нужно найти, где мне спрятаться.
- 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,809 Ну, можешь прятаться с нами. Рик?
- 00:04:52,810 --> 00:04:53,570 Да?
- 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,639 Как думаешь, можем ли мы взять...
- 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:55,550 К-как тебя зовут?
- 00:04:55,550 --> 00:04:56,270 Арфриша.
- 00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:57,909 Можем ли мы взять Арфришу в корабль
- 00:04:57,910 --> 00:04:59,670 и просто, знаешь, переждать чистку?
- 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:00,979 О, Морти, как я могу отказать
- 00:05:00,980 --> 00:05:03,020 после всего того шантажа?
- 00:05:07,650 --> 00:05:10,020 Твоя машина... Она от богов?
- 00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:11,070 - Нет. - Да.
- 00:05:13,460 --> 00:05:15,999 Ээ, знаешь, когда чистки начались,
- 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,919 люди сразу прониклись этим,
- 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,169 или сначала были типа: "Подождите, что?
- 00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:22,330 Как именно это остановит преступность?"
- 00:05:22,340 --> 00:05:25,520 Да, людям понадобилось время чтобы принять это.
- 00:05:25,610 --> 00:05:27,009 Да, точно. Ха-ха. Точно.
- 00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:28,909 Да, это вроде как мобильники, правда?
- 00:05:28,910 --> 00:05:30,139 Сначала все были типа:
- 00:05:30,140 --> 00:05:31,679 "Посмотри на этих ублюдков, мочащих друг-друга"
- 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:32,920 А потом, дальше ты видишь,
- 00:05:32,950 --> 00:05:34,500 что они такие: "Это так естественно".
- 00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:36,270 Боже, ты отрабатываешь номер
- 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:37,870 для камедиклаба, Морти?
- 00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:43,019 Чего делаешь?
- 00:05:43,020 --> 00:05:45,359 Смотришь телек, играешь в телефоне?
- 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:46,919 Это нормальный вопрос?
- 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,329 Просто пытаюсь завязать разговор.
- 00:05:48,330 --> 00:05:51,199 Правда? Какая часть вопроса даёт мне простор для ответа?
- 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,999 Я могу промолчать, быть саркастичной
- 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,039 или пролаять "да" как обученное животное.
- 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,369 Это - не диалог.
- 00:05:57,370 --> 00:05:59,139 Ты держишь меня в устных заложницах.
- 00:05:59,140 --> 00:06:01,539 Ладно, вредина. Я пойду на кухню.
- 00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:02,840 Эй, пап.
- 00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:02,840 Да?
- 00:06:02,841 --> 00:06:04,540 Чего делаешь? Идёшь на кухню?
- 00:06:04,550 --> 00:06:05,570 Ладно.
- 00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:06,639 Да, понравилось?
- 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:07,640 К чёрту тебя.
- 00:06:08,270 --> 00:06:12,319 Так что, эм, большинство людей носят маски во время чистки?
- 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,949 Я-я не хочу больше отвечать на вопросы о чистке.
- 00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:15,850 Ладно, эй, эй, это здорово.
- 00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:16,950 Я могу справится с этим.
- 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,369 Моя няня!
- 00:06:25,370 --> 00:06:25,660 Ха?
- 00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:27,970 Моя няня! Мы должны спасти её!
- 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:32,000 Ты только что вспомнила, что твоя няня вообще существует.
- 00:06:32,010 --> 00:06:33,909 Я-я была в шоковом состоянии.
- 00:06:33,910 --> 00:06:36,200 Разве ты не прошла примерно 15 чисток?
- 00:06:36,220 --> 00:06:37,220 То есть, ребёнком?
- 00:06:37,270 --> 00:06:39,079 Кто-нибудь поможет мне найти её?
- 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,000 Ладно, пофигу. Морти, сиди.
- 00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:52,600 О, Боже. О, чёрт. О, чёрт!
- 00:06:53,260 --> 00:06:54,370 Выбирайся! Выбирайся!
- 00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:55,270 Эй, воу, воу, воу!
- 00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:57,259 Выходи из летающей машины!
- 00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:58,999 О, Боже мой! Л-ладно! Ладно!
- 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,599 Назад, ублюдок.
- 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,100 Назад.
- 00:07:01,370 --> 00:07:02,100 Оуу.
- 00:07:02,101 --> 00:07:03,570 - Пошёл назад! - Ааа!
- 00:07:04,870 --> 00:07:07,370 Если кому интересно, мне жаль,
- 00:07:07,650 --> 00:07:09,546 но этой ночью никому это не интересно, не так ли?
- 00:07:09,570 --> 00:07:12,500 Т-ты не можешь оставить нас тут. Ты убиваешь нас!
- 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,450 Слышишь? Возвращайся.
- 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,150 Ты должна вернуться. Одумайся.
- 00:07:18,690 --> 00:07:20,289 О, Господи.
- 00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:23,500 Морти! Ааа! Чёртова сучка Амиш выстрелила в меня!
- 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,270 Она попыталась замочить меня, Морти.
- 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,120 Ты поставил свой член у руля и теперь я мёртв.
- 00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:28,400 Рик, она забрала машину!
- 00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:29,570 Ты шутишь, Морти?!
- 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,070 Она забрала мою машину и пушку.
- 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:32,599 Мы теперь как остальные ублюдки.
- 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,399 Н-н-нас замочат, Морти.
- 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,350 Помоги мне встать.
- 00:07:35,370 --> 00:07:37,350 О, Боже, Боже! Подожди немного, Рик.
- 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,800 Почему мы просто не воспользуемся твоей портальной пушкой?
- 00:07:38,810 --> 00:07:40,039 Она в машине, говнарь.
- 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,409 О, Боже, болит.
- 00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:43,209 Она попала прямо в чёртову печень, Морти.
- 00:07:43,210 --> 00:07:45,209 Это самая пахающая печень в галактике, Морти,
- 00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:47,500 и теперь в ней дырка. Надеюсь это того стоило.
- 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:48,776 Я просто пытался делать как правильно.
- 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,219 Да, ну, это немного не в тему сегодняшней вечеринки.
- 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:52,419 Внимание. Насильники.
- 00:07:52,420 --> 00:07:53,949 Ну, не стой тут, Морти.
- 00:07:53,950 --> 00:07:54,900 Замочи их.
- 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:54,900 Я?
- 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,150 Нет, я. Я потру их своей дыркой в печени?
- 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,989 Подбери палку или что-нибудь в этом роде и убей их.
- 00:07:58,990 --> 00:08:01,130 Эм, м-мы пришли с миром.
- 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,130 Ааааа!
- 00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:02,970 О, Боже мой.
- 00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:06,799 У меня есть ещё такое!
- 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,169 Хотите быть убитыми, получайте!
- 00:08:08,170 --> 00:08:11,300 Бросьте вашу фигню! Бросьте всё!
- 00:08:11,310 --> 00:08:12,939 Морти, подбери это дерьмо. Поторопись.
- 00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:14,509 У меня была только одна та штука, что я кинул.
- 00:08:14,510 --> 00:08:16,540 Сейчас я держу коробочку тик-така в руке.
- 00:08:19,770 --> 00:08:20,919 Хочешь крекеров?
- 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:21,640 Нет, спасибо.
- 00:08:21,641 --> 00:08:23,479 Ты готова быть доброй ко мне?
- 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:25,409 За крекеры?
- 00:08:25,410 --> 00:08:26,619 Что с тобой случилось?
- 00:08:26,620 --> 00:08:28,120 Пап, найди работу.
- 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,440 Ты начинаешь создавать трагедию, потому, что тебе скучно.
- 00:08:30,650 --> 00:08:31,650 Оу.
- 00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:34,950 Это космический телефон, который дедушка дал нам.
- 00:08:35,420 --> 00:08:37,300 Алло?
- 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,300 Эй, Саммер, это дедушка.
- 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,726 Мне нужно, чтобы ты кое-что сделала для меня.
- 00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,260 Я тебя едва слышу.
- 00:08:39,570 --> 00:08:40,260 Кто это?
- 00:08:40,261 --> 00:08:42,050 Морти и я на планете с чисткой.
- 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:43,050 Мне нужно, чтобы ты ввела...
- 00:08:43,051 --> 00:08:44,120 Чисто, что?
- 00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:46,499 Мы на планете с чисткой, Саммер. Чисткой.
- 00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,739 Мы потеряли машину и мою пушку, и теперь мы в мочилове.
- 00:08:48,740 --> 00:08:49,919 О, это Тедди Мэйсон?
- 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:51,239 Как в фильме "Судная ночь"?
- 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,609 Да, м-мне нужно, чтобы ты ввела...
- 00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:53,600 Этот фильм - отстой.
- 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,339 О, Боже мой. Подожди.
- 00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:56,579 Это не Тедди Мэйсон?
- 00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:58,440 Пап, кто этот чёртов Тедди Мэйсон?
- 00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,520 Мой друг.
- 00:08:59,070 --> 00:08:59,520 Ааа!
- 00:08:59,521 --> 00:09:01,510 Ты в порядке? Я включаю громкую связь.
- 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:02,300 Тедди?
- 00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:03,280 Да, Джерри, это Тедди,
- 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,080 человек, о котором никто не слышал до селе,
- 00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:06,349 звонит тебе по космическому телефону.
- 00:09:06,350 --> 00:09:08,189 Я не могу понять, был ли это сарказм.
- 00:09:08,190 --> 00:09:09,919 Ааааа!
- 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,859 Аа!
- 00:09:11,860 --> 00:09:12,930 Ааааа!
- 00:09:14,150 --> 00:09:15,290 Перезаряжай, быстро.
- 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:17,469 Саммер, нам нужно, чтобы ты ввела этот номер.
- 00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:18,470 Хватит слоятся попусту.
- 00:09:18,500 --> 00:09:19,669 Морти? Ты в порядке?
- 00:09:19,670 --> 00:09:20,250 Нет!
- 00:09:20,251 --> 00:09:22,039 Почему <i>ты</i> с Тедди Мэйсоном?
- 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,039 Боже правый, папа! Заткнись к чёртовой матери!
- 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,270 Ладно. Похоже я туалетная бумага всей этой семьи.
- 00:09:27,350 --> 00:09:29,609 Ты записываешь это? Пожалуйста, ты запишешь это?
- 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:31,455 Да, да.
- 00:09:31,456 --> 00:09:32,709 7-7-1-9-8...
- 00:09:32,710 --> 00:09:33,470 Аааа!
- 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:37,219 ...3-6-4-2-1-1-2-5.
- 00:09:37,220 --> 00:09:39,119 Аа!
- 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,719 Ааааа!
- 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,050 Ты сукин сын!
- 00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:46,189 Морти, не хочу быть тем "помогите" -парнем,
- 00:09:46,190 --> 00:09:47,650 но можешь немного помочь?
- 00:09:49,060 --> 00:09:49,720 Аа!
- 00:09:49,721 --> 00:09:51,060 Ладно, у меня есть ручка. Давай.
- 00:09:51,070 --> 00:09:54,999 7-7-1-9-8-3- 6-4-2-1-1-2-5.
- 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,139 Ложка, Морти?
- 00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:57,420 Ложка?!
- 00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:57,420 Извини.
- 00:09:57,450 --> 00:09:59,010 Тут груда столовых приборов перед тобой,
- 00:09:59,050 --> 00:10:01,650 а ты даёшь мне единственную вещь, которая никогда никого не сможет убить?
- 00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:02,620 Ладно, ясно!
- 00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:05,469 Саммер, на полке над моим столом в гараже
- 00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:07,500 есть красная коробка с клавиатурой.
- 00:10:07,570 --> 00:10:09,000 Вынеси эту коробку на улицу
- 00:10:09,050 --> 00:10:11,070 и набери число, которое я тебе сказал.
- 00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:12,090 Поняла?
- 00:10:11,420 --> 00:10:12,090 Поняла.
- 00:10:12,091 --> 00:10:14,489 Это часть взросления - ненавидеть своего отца?
- 00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:15,820 И тебя игнорирую.
- 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:18,696 Морти, если у меня получится забраться на верх того маяка,
- 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,996 я смогу отправить сигнальный огонь, и твоя сестра сможет отправить наш набор.
- 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,599 Просто запомни, если там будут люди,
- 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:24,719 и они попытаются замочить нас, мы должны замочить их первыми.
- 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:27,400 Мы не будем убивать кого бы то ни было, Рик, хорошо? Ты перестанешь?
- 00:10:27,450 --> 00:10:28,900 Морти, если мы выживем этим ночью,
- 00:10:28,970 --> 00:10:30,769 тебе придётся впрячь свою подавленную ярость.
- 00:10:30,770 --> 00:10:31,770 У меня такой нет!
- 00:10:31,771 --> 00:10:33,920 Сказал, как человек с подавленной яростью.
- 00:10:38,350 --> 00:10:40,050 Я не участвую в фестивале.
- 00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:42,249 Если вы желаете убить меня, я только попрошу сделать это быстро.
- 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,519 Это не в наших планах, дружище.
- 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,550 Чистка нам тоже не по вкусу, сэр.
- 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,700 Мы надеялись забраться на крышу Вашего маяка,
- 00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:49,626 чтобы мы могли отправить сигнальный огонь моей сестре на Земле.
- 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:50,799 Это другая планета.
- 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:51,270 Кстати,
- 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,826 жизнь на других планетах существует. Только не отвлекайся на это.
- 00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:56,276 Я позволю вам воспользоваться моим маяком как убежищем и чтобы послать сигнал
- 00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:57,950 при условии, что вы послушаете мой рассказ.
- 00:10:57,970 --> 00:10:59,070 Ладно.
- 00:10:58,520 --> 00:10:59,070 По рукам!
- 00:10:59,071 --> 00:11:01,026 Ладно, я поднимусь на крышу и сделаю приготовления.
- 00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:02,569 Морти, ты слушаешь его рассказ.
- 00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:03,570 Ладно.
- 00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:14,079 "Экран яснеет. Пейзаж. Безымянный город. День.
- 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,219 Толкотня и шум - это симфония движения.
- 00:11:16,220 --> 00:11:18,919 Мы проносимся мимо окон, каждое из которых содержит отдельную историю,
- 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,819 чтобы найти Джейси Лейкимс, 28 лет... Красотка, но не знает этого.
- 00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:23,820 Джейси останавливается, когда её каблук попадает
- 00:11:23,870 --> 00:11:24,870 в решётку канализации.
- 00:11:25,070 --> 00:11:27,770 Неожиданно, мужчина заходит в кадр и направляет на неё пистолет.
- 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,160 Это не её день.
- 00:11:30,170 --> 00:11:31,250 Экран чернеет.
- 00:11:31,630 --> 00:11:34,830 Надпись: "три недели ранее""
- 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,450 Эх. Ты правда не хочешь говорить со мной об этом.
- 00:11:39,470 --> 00:11:41,700 Папа, дедушка и Морти в опасности.
- 00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:43,500 Ты без работы и тебе скучно.
- 00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:44,549 Они в большем приоритете.
- 00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:46,249 Хватит говорить, что я безработный!
- 00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:50,079 Ладно, 7-7-1-9-8-3-6-4-2-1-1
- 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:50,970 2... аа!
- 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,520 Боже правый! Что теперь?
- 00:11:54,190 --> 00:11:57,689 Слушай, я - твой отец, и я люблю тебя, вот всё, что я пытаюсь сказать.
- 00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:59,570 Я оставлю это так.
- 00:11:58,470 --> 00:11:59,570 Хорошо, пап!
- 00:11:59,990 --> 00:12:01,529 Аааа!
- 00:12:01,530 --> 00:12:04,360 Оу, он кажется говорил вынести это наружу.
- 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:05,400 Давай, Саммер.
- 00:12:05,470 --> 00:12:07,550 Насколько сложно набрать числа в коробку?
- 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,469 <i>Цель зафиксирована.</i>
- 00:12:09,470 --> 00:12:10,800 О, Боже, спасибо.
- 00:12:10,810 --> 00:12:13,369 Ну, я сделал своё дело, Саммер сделала своё.
- 00:12:13,370 --> 00:12:16,700 Теперь всё, что нужно сделать Морти, так это дослушать тот рассказ.
- 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:19,709 "Блэйн: Может мне не нужен новый друг.
- 00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:22,219 Джейси: Может ты - единственный друг, который мне нужен.
- 00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:24,449 Блэйн: Нужен или желаем?
- 00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:26,850 Джейси: Я никогда особо ничего не желала.
- 00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:29,119 Блейн: Сказано, словно в чём-то нуждаешься."
- 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,390 О, Боже.
- 00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:30,390 Хмм?
- 00:12:30,391 --> 00:12:32,200 А, извини. П-продолжай.
- 00:12:32,390 --> 00:12:34,329 "Джейси протянула руку и коснулась его лица.
- 00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:35,729 Ясно, что ему нужно то, чего она хочет.
- 00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:37,329 Она - женщина. Он - мужчина.
- 00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:39,810 Город горит на заднем плане в то время как он берёт её на руки.
- 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,399 Экран меркнет.
- 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,870 Надпись: "Конец"...
- 00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:44,370 Вопросительный знак."
- 00:12:44,410 --> 00:12:45,740 Вау.
- 00:12:45,050 --> 00:12:45,740 Да?
- 00:12:45,741 --> 00:12:48,669 Это... Х-хорошая работа. Хорошая работа.
- 00:12:48,670 --> 00:12:49,400 Тебе понравилось?
- 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:50,320 Конечно.
- 00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,850 Ты не засмеялся во время сцены в баре.
- 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,410 Я... подумал, что она смешная, но захотел услышать продолжение.
- 00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:57,249 Есть какие-нибудь мысли? Замечания?
- 00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:59,389 Нет. М-мне просто понравилось.
- 00:12:59,390 --> 00:13:01,589 Это - моё замечание, знаете? Пожалуйста, пишите больше.
- 00:13:01,590 --> 00:13:02,869 Звучит немного неискренне.
- 00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:03,520 Что? Нет.
- 00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:05,050 Не надо обманывать меня.
- 00:13:05,100 --> 00:13:07,296 Я хочу улучшить свой стиль. Расскажи мне свои настоящие мысли.
- 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,599 Ладно. Ну, эм, я не большой фанат, лично,
- 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,750 всех этих флешбэков "три недели ранее".
- 00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:13,899 Мне кажется, знаете,
- 00:13:13,900 --> 00:13:15,530 мы должны начинать истории там, где они начинаются,
- 00:13:15,540 --> 00:13:17,300 а не начинать их где они становятся интересными...
- 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:17,300 Убирайся.
- 00:13:17,470 --> 00:13:18,500 Эм, что?
- 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,226 Нет. Мне это надоело. Вы стучите мне в дверь,
- 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,276 умоляете помочь, я делюсь чем-то индивидуальным с тобой,
- 00:13:22,300 --> 00:13:23,449 а ты обсираешь это.
- 00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:25,269 Эй, чувак, мы спросили, можем ли мы поставить сигнал...
- 00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:26,579 Ну, вы не можете. Я хочу, чтобы вы убрались отсюда.
- 00:13:26,580 --> 00:13:28,270 Ты - мелочный человек и ты беззащитен,
- 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,150 и ты срываешься на мне. Неплохой сценарий.
- 00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:31,220 Какого чёрта?!
- 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,896 Мне без разницы. Я хочу, чтобы вы убрались.
- 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,120 Что?
- 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:34,120 Убери эту штуку.
- 00:13:34,121 --> 00:13:36,059 Ваш внук - дерьмовый человек. Уходите.
- 00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:36,670 Морти!
- 00:13:36,671 --> 00:13:37,819 Рик, я ничего не сделал.
- 00:13:37,820 --> 00:13:39,720 Я высидел до конца всю его постановку...
- 00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:40,770 Ты "высидел до конца"?
- 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,819 Да! Вы хотели, чтобы я рыдал от радости?
- 00:13:42,820 --> 00:13:43,770 Она ужасна!
- 00:13:43,771 --> 00:13:45,550 Воу! Морти! Мы тут гости.
- 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,270 Я пытался быть хорошим гостем! Он вытянул это из меня!
- 00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:50,870 Я убираю этот сигнальный огонь.
- 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,870 Нет, остановись! Это не честно!
- 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,450 То, что тебе не нравится своя собственная писанина
- 00:13:52,470 --> 00:13:53,970 не делает меня плохим человеком!
- 00:13:53,980 --> 00:13:56,310 Ааа!
- 00:13:56,650 --> 00:13:59,449 Как тебе это? Ты хочешь, чтобы я вернулся на три недели ранее,
- 00:13:59,450 --> 00:14:00,579 когда ты был жив?
- 00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,870 Воу, Морти. Ты только что убил.
- 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,319 <i>Маяк прибывает.</i>
- 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,550 Ладно, пора идти.
- 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:08,420 Ну, великолепно.
- 00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:11,989 Пап, что происходит? В чём тут дело?
- 00:14:11,990 --> 00:14:14,490 Я просто хотел провести немного времени с моей дочкой.
- 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,000 Ты растёшь так быстро.
- 00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:18,150 Ты раньше была моей маленькой девочкой.
- 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,150 Ха-ха. Да.
- 00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:20,000 Помнишь, когда ты ходила на площадку,
- 00:14:20,050 --> 00:14:21,290 и я раскачивал тебя на качелях?
- 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,920 О, ты мог раскачивать меня выше, чем других детей.
- 00:14:23,970 --> 00:14:25,800 Ты была такой маленькой и милой.
- 00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:27,939 Я думал, ты взлетишь прямо с улицы.
- 00:14:27,940 --> 00:14:29,850 Ха-ха. Я иногда мочилась в штаны.
- 00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,840 Знаю, а теперь посмотри на себя!
- 00:14:31,850 --> 00:14:34,179 У тебя есть работа. Ты довольно хорошо зарабатываешь.
- 00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:35,510 Ты не платишь квартплату,
- 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,519 так что у тебя есть куча свободных денег.
- 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,150 О, Боде, пап. Пожалуйста, не надо.
- 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,526 Мне нужно несколько сотен долларов,
- 00:14:40,550 --> 00:14:42,689 чтобы прожить этот месяц. У меня назначено несколько интервью.
- 00:14:42,690 --> 00:14:44,589 Что-то выйдет. Я чувствую это.
- 00:14:44,590 --> 00:14:45,660 Я пойду вовнутрь.
- 00:14:47,330 --> 00:14:50,129 Эх. Похоже это и есть самоё дно, Джерри.
- 00:14:50,130 --> 00:14:51,130 Оу!
- 00:14:51,330 --> 00:14:53,299 Всё нормально, Морти. Знаешь, это ведь чистка.
- 00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:56,139 Сталкивать старых хранителей маяка вниз по лестнице - безусловно здорово.
- 00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:58,669 Это не здорово, Рик. Я-я не такой, как эти люди.
- 00:14:58,670 --> 00:15:00,639 Я не могу бегать и отрезать головы людям
- 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,026 один день в году, а потом хорошо спать по ночам остальное время.
- 00:15:03,050 --> 00:15:05,109 Ну, лучше бы тебе начать привыкать к этому, сучара,
- 00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:07,110 потому, что у нас тут эта долбанная компания.
- 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,379 Эй, вот он.
- 00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:11,080 Вот я.
- 00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:20,900 Морти.
- 00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:23,800 Время мочить.
- 00:15:31,670 --> 00:15:32,870 Ааааа!
- 00:15:32,871 --> 00:15:34,070 ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:35,509 ♪ Да ♪
- 00:15:35,510 --> 00:15:37,379 ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:15:37,380 --> 00:15:39,579 ♪ Держу тебя так ♪
- 00:15:39,580 --> 00:15:40,609 ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:15:40,610 --> 00:15:43,419 Боже. Вау, Морти, ты уже втянулся.
- 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:44,919 Не ожидал от тебя такого.
- 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,150 Ладно, ээ, пойдём найдём мой корабль.
- 00:15:51,990 --> 00:15:54,859 Эй, эй, Морти, Морти. Вот он внизу - мой корабль.
- 00:15:54,860 --> 00:15:57,200 Мне кажется, что... Морти?
- 00:15:57,450 --> 00:15:59,150 - ♪ Хорошо ♪ - Сосите!
- 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,369 Выкусите!
- 00:16:00,370 --> 00:16:01,599 О, Боже, ты в самом деле, ээ...
- 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:02,940 - ♪ Хорошо ♪ - Ха-ха! Ха!
- 00:16:02,943 --> 00:16:05,000 Ты правда решился на это, ха?
- 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:06,939 Я, ээ, думаю, ээ
- 00:16:06,940 --> 00:16:08,699 Я думаю, эти люди просто прятались.
- 00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:09,850 Мне насрать.
- 00:16:09,950 --> 00:16:11,779 Ладно, Морти, теперь ты просто стреляешь по трупам.
- 00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:12,869 Как вам это?
- 00:16:12,870 --> 00:16:13,610 Ладно, приятель.
- 00:16:13,611 --> 00:16:15,280 Ладно. Хорошо. Хорошая работа.
- 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,220 Ааа!
- 00:16:16,221 --> 00:16:17,670 Время идти домой.
- 00:16:22,820 --> 00:16:24,520 Подождите! Пожалуйста, не убивайте меня!
- 00:16:24,530 --> 00:16:26,789 Я-я никогда не хотела причинять вам вред, клянусь.
- 00:16:26,790 --> 00:16:29,029 Я просто хочу прекратить фестиваль.
- 00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:30,249 Ч-ч-что ты имеешь в виду?
- 00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:31,650 Я хотела использовать Ваш корабль,
- 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:34,469 чтобы уничтожить богатеев, которые управляют обществом
- 00:16:34,470 --> 00:16:38,170 и спасти моих людей от ужасов этого ежегодного фестиваля.
- 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,269 К чёрту это, Рик! Мы должны убить её! Убить её!
- 00:16:40,270 --> 00:16:40,950 - Убить её! - Воу!
- 00:16:40,953 --> 00:16:42,809 Боже, Морти, сбавь обороты.
- 00:16:42,810 --> 00:16:44,140 "Убивай! Не убивай!"
- 00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:46,079 Ты шлёшь мне запутанные посылы, Рик.
- 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,479 Морти, ты ведёшь себя как
- 00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:48,779 грёбанный лунатик.
- 00:16:48,780 --> 00:16:49,450 Успокойся.
- 00:16:49,450 --> 00:16:50,370 К чёрту тебя, Рик!
- 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,219 Я замочу тебя тоже, ты, старый рахитный кусок дерьма!
- 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,789 Это должно было случиться давно!
- 00:16:54,790 --> 00:16:56,500 Я вырву твои грёбанные кишки
- 00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:57,820 и размажу по всему твоему лицу!
- 00:16:57,830 --> 00:16:59,059 Меня не оста...
- 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:00,959 Ааа! Извини за это.
- 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,960 Так, где эти богатые люди?
- 00:17:08,670 --> 00:17:11,339 За очередной удачный год фестиваля.
- 00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:15,140 Стравливаем бедняков друг с другом тысячи лет.
- 00:17:17,180 --> 00:17:19,149 Подождите, о-откуда доносится эта музыка?
- 00:17:19,150 --> 00:17:20,450 ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:21,749 Что это значит?
- 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,320 Вот в чём дело. Я не могу оценивать.
- 00:17:23,370 --> 00:17:24,919 Я - просто парень с другой планеты.
- 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,689 Но эта девочка - одна из ваших бедняков,
- 00:17:26,690 --> 00:17:28,276 и, я думаю, вы парни считали, что это нормально
- 00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:29,850 ставить её в бесчеловечные условия,
- 00:17:29,970 --> 00:17:31,926 потому, что не было и шанса, что вам от этого станет плохо.
- 00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:33,959 Это что-то вроде социо-политического аналога
- 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,159 мощной защиты вокруг вас.
- 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,970 Но сейчас силы равны, так что, Арфриша?
- 00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:41,669 Ааа!
- 00:17:41,670 --> 00:17:43,869 Счастливого фестиваля, сосунки!
- 00:17:43,870 --> 00:17:46,369 Сосните член, лизните яйца!
- 00:17:46,370 --> 00:17:47,709 Сосните мой большой член!
- 00:17:47,710 --> 00:17:48,810 - Боже. - ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:50,209 Хочешь присоединиться, Рик?
- 00:17:50,210 --> 00:17:52,809 Нет, правда... честно, м-мне хватило.
- 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:54,300 Это бессмысленно сейчас.
- 00:17:54,370 --> 00:17:55,626 Правда не хочешь присоединиться?
- 00:17:55,650 --> 00:17:57,380 - Это правда здорово. - ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:17:57,390 --> 00:17:58,220 Да, но...
- 00:17:58,370 --> 00:17:59,989 А, ладно. Пофигу.
- 00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:02,720 ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,520 Да, сука, как дела?
- 00:18:04,530 --> 00:18:06,800 ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:18:08,060 --> 00:18:10,699 ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:12,299 ♪ Да ♪
- 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,569 ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:14,620 Воу!
- 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,570 ♪ Оо, так хорошо ♪
- 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,420 Ладно, теперь время немного потанцевать
- 00:18:19,450 --> 00:18:20,669 под... под Тони! Тони! Тоон!
- 00:18:20,670 --> 00:18:21,909 ♪ Так хорошо, да ♪
- 00:18:21,910 --> 00:18:23,979 Погляди на мои чёртовы ноги, сучара.
- 00:18:23,980 --> 00:18:26,080 Ууу! О, да!
- 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:26,080 ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:27,700 Арфриша, что можешь?
- 00:18:27,770 --> 00:18:29,370 - Зацени это движение. - ♪ О, так хорошо ♪
- 00:18:29,380 --> 00:18:31,020 О, хо!
- 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,750 Я не знаю, что это за песня, но я безумно люблю её!
- 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,159 "Хорошо"
- 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,870 Это чёртов хит.
- 00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,140 ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:18:38,141 --> 00:18:39,989 Был на верху чартов, я думаю. Хо-хо!
- 00:18:39,990 --> 00:18:42,390 ♪ О, так хорошо ♪
- 00:18:43,930 --> 00:18:45,430 Эй, спасибо, что помог, Рик.
- 00:18:45,550 --> 00:18:46,999 Ты довольно неплохой парень.
- 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,339 Да, да, да. Пошла на **й за то, что выстрелила в мою печень.
- 00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:50,600 Встретимся.
- 00:18:50,610 --> 00:18:52,970 О, чувак. Что... что случилось?
- 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,239 Не парься, Морти.
- 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:55,870 Слушай, если ты хотел, чтобы тебе перепало,
- 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,250 тебе лучше поторопиться. Это твой последний шанс.
- 00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:01,200 Эй, эй, Арфриша, эм, может я бы мог...
- 00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:02,379 Э, у меня есть парень.
- 00:19:02,380 --> 00:19:03,000 Ладно.
- 00:19:03,001 --> 00:19:04,070 Я не хочу быть грубой.
- 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,749 Просто... Просто не хочу тебя обманывать.
- 00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:06,920 Я-я-я понял.
- 00:19:06,970 --> 00:19:09,960 То есть, большое спасибо за помощь в прекращении фестиваля,
- 00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:12,859 но у меня есть парень, и, эх, он просто...
- 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,359 Ладно, ладно, можешь перестать повторять это.
- 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,790 Я понял с первого раза,
- 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,260 а теперь ты просто повторяешься.
- 00:19:17,270 --> 00:19:18,220 О, мне жаль.
- 00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:19,130 Всё нормально.
- 00:19:19,131 --> 00:19:22,870 О, ты такой милый, но я... Ох, я не могу.
- 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,300 Да, ты всё равно продолжаешь делать это.
- 00:19:24,310 --> 00:19:27,709 Будет непросто создать новое общество с нуля.
- 00:19:27,710 --> 00:19:31,140 Ну, полезным правилом может быть: если тебе что-то нужно, ты это получаешь.
- 00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:32,150 Довольно просто, да?
- 00:19:32,151 --> 00:19:33,200 Мне нужна пища.
- 00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:34,419 У кого есть пища для того парня?
- 00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:36,170 У меня есть, но она для меня.
- 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,580 Не мог бы ты сделать больше?
- 00:19:37,590 --> 00:19:40,119 О, конечно. А пока делаю еду для всех,
- 00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:41,850 кто позаботится о моих детях?
- 00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:46,259 Я позабочусь о твоих детях, если у меня будет побольше еды за это.
- 00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:47,490 Больше еды?
- 00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:50,259 Ну, я не хочу делать больше работы, если мы все получаем одинаково.
- 00:19:50,260 --> 00:19:51,829 Ладно, хорошо, что правда, то правда.
- 00:19:51,830 --> 00:19:53,669 Если ты больше работаешь, ты больше получаешь.
- 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,569 О.
- 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,899 Кто будет следить,
- 00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:59,669 кто сколько еды получает за свою работу?
- 00:19:59,670 --> 00:20:00,939 Эй! Я могу делать это.
- 00:20:00,940 --> 00:20:02,939 Я буду вести учёт общей еды,
- 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,679 знаете, в обмен за еду.
- 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,009 Это даже не работа!
- 00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:08,520 О, а производство еды - работа?
- 00:20:08,570 --> 00:20:10,519 Ты, сукин сын!
- 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,819 Выкуси!
- 00:20:11,820 --> 00:20:13,919 Аааа!
- 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,189 Парни, парни, парни, парни, воу, воу.
- 00:20:16,190 --> 00:20:18,689 Успокойтесь. Будьте проще.
- 00:20:18,690 --> 00:20:21,029 Здесь слишком много агрессии.
- 00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:23,199 Что, если мы выделим период времени,
- 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,199 во время которого мы все сможем выплеснуть эту ненависть, убийства
- 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,020 и ярость из системы...
- 00:20:29,850 --> 00:20:31,226 Не могу ничего поделать, но мне стыдно
- 00:20:31,250 --> 00:20:32,550 за то, что я там сделал, Рик.
- 00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:34,950 Я думаю, ты был прав. У меня было много подавленных штук,
- 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:35,670 с которыми надо было справиться.
- 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:36,850 Не парься, Морти.
- 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:38,250 Помнишь те шоколадки,
- 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:39,799 которые нам дали тогда?
- 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:40,850 Да, что с ними?
- 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:43,119 Похоже в них содержится химикат озлоблин,
- 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,049 который усиливает все твои жестокие намерения.
- 00:20:45,050 --> 00:20:47,489 О, Боже. Фуф. Спасибо Господу за это, а?
- 00:20:47,490 --> 00:20:48,519 Это облегчение.
- 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:49,820 Да, даже не заморачивайся.
- 00:20:49,870 --> 00:20:51,059 Ты всё еще тот же старый Морти.
- 00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:53,200 Твой характер полностью в безопасности.
- 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,960 ♪ Хорошо ♪
- 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:57,149 ТЕПЕРЬ БЕЗ ОЗЛОБЛИНА
- 00:20:57,150 --> 00:21:01,260 ♪
- 00:21:28,860 --> 00:21:30,899 <i>И вот подход.</i>
- 00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:33,169 Джерри, что такое "ООО Тедди Мэйсон"
- 00:21:33,170 --> 00:21:35,330 и почему наш счёт за телефон $700?
- 00:21:35,340 --> 00:21:37,240 <i>Эй, если вам скучно...</i>
- 00:21:35,340 --> 00:21:36,340 Аа..
- 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,770 <i>...одиноко, просто нужен друг?</i>
- 00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:38,620 Ааа...
- 00:21:39,770 --> 00:21:41,370 <i>Позвони мне, Тедди Мэйсону.</i>
- 00:21:39,770 --> 00:21:40,770 Аа..
- 00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:43,470 <i>Это стоит всего $1.99 в минуту.</i>
- 00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:44,710 <i>Запишись сегодня,</i>
- 00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:44,500 Аа...
- 00:21:44,710 --> 00:21:46,879 <i>и мы будем звонить тебе на регулярной основе...</i>
- 00:21:46,550 --> 00:21:47,550 Аа...
- 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,350 <i>...Всего за $1.99 в минуту.</i>
- 00:21:48,350 --> 00:21:50,449 <i>Это выгодное предложение, потому, что я - хороший малый.</i>
- 00:21:50,450 --> 00:21:53,750 <i>Мы можем поговорить о спорте или барбекю.</i>
- 00:21:50,770 --> 00:21:51,770 Аа...
- 00:21:53,750 --> 00:21:54,750 А!
- 00:21:55,620 --> 00:21:57,259 Джерри, найди работу.
- 00:21:57,260 --> 00:21:58,749 О, Боже м...!
- 00:21:58,750 --> 00:22:00,249 Ты что-нибудь понял?
- 00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:02,250 Это хорошее шоу!