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Пора швифтануться
Огромная голова-пришелец («Кромулон») появляется над Землёй, требуя услышать оригинальную песню, поэтому Рик и Морти импровизируют «Пора швифтануться». Всю планету похищают и заставляют участвовать в музыкальном шоу талантов, где планеты проигравших уничтожают плазменным лучом. Морти крадёт портальную пушку Рика и оставляет его наедине с Айс-Ти, который был единственным музыкантом, пережившим землетрясение, обрушившееся на премию Грэмми, чтобы записать хит и спасти Землю. Морти натыкается на Птичью личность (живущего с Тэмми с эпизода «Риксованный бизнес»), который убеждает его вернуться к Рику. Айс-Ти оказывается ледяным пришельцем, который изначально не заботился о Земле, но позже меняет своё мнение и спасает планету. Рик, Морти и президент США выигрывают соревнование, импровизируя «Голову вниз». Между тем, Джерри, Бет и Саммер вступают в религиозный культ, основанный на неправильной интерпретации сообщения от Кромулонов. Движение быстро распадается после того, как осознало, что всё это было шоу музыкальных талантов. В сцене после титров Айс-Ти возвращается на родную планету Алфавитрим, где его отец прощает его и восстанавливает его истинную форму, Уотер-Ти. Цифертиконы атакуют, и Уотер-Ти бросается в бой. Это промо боевика.
- 00:00:13,431 --> 00:00:16,393 Hey, golf is easy now!
- 00:00:16,476 --> 00:00:19,229 Aah! Golf is hard again! Golf is hard again!
- 00:00:19,312 --> 00:00:21,356 The view from here is the same as yours, Jim.
- 00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:23,525 A giant head has entered Earth's gravity,
- 00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:25,652 triggering climate change and natural disasters
- 00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:28,655 we thought were impossible for at least another eight years.
- 00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:30,240 Let's not make this political, Terry.
- 00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:32,534 Do we know what this giant head wants?
- 00:00:33,702 --> 00:00:36,121 Show me what you got.
- 00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:41,668 Jim, you heard the... said... "Show me what you got."
- 00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:43,461 Show me what you got.
- 00:00:43,545 --> 00:00:45,630 I want to see what you got.
- 00:00:45,714 --> 00:00:47,465 Oh, boy. Time to go, Morty.
- 00:00:47,549 --> 00:00:48,549 Uh, where?
- 00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:49,843 The Pentagon.
- 00:00:49,926 --> 00:00:51,636 I mean, not <i>the</i> Pentagon.
- 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,555 The lame one here on Earth.
- 00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:56,641 ♪♪
- 00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:27,212 Is it God?
- 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,757 If it's God, do we get out of school?
- 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,508 It's not God, Summer.
- 00:01:30,592 --> 00:01:32,802 She's allowed to think it's God if she wants, honey.
- 00:01:32,886 --> 00:01:33,720 Shut up, Jerry.
- 00:01:33,803 --> 00:01:34,803 Okay.
- 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,432 Dad, what do you know about this?
- 00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:38,826 Morty and I are going to look into it.
- 00:01:38,850 --> 00:01:39,934 You guys hold tight.
- 00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:45,148 Scary stuff, huh? Pretty freaky.
- 00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:46,608 Hi. I'm Morty's math teacher.
- 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:48,777 I'm also part of the street team inviting folks
- 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:51,362 to the church downtown so we can pray together.
- 00:01:51,446 --> 00:01:52,864 How is praying going to help?
- 00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:55,241 Ma'am, a giant head in the sky is controlling the weather.
- 00:01:55,325 --> 00:01:57,327 Did you want to play checkers? Let's be rational!
- 00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:59,412 I'll see you at God's house!
- 00:02:02,749 --> 00:02:05,460 Gentlemen, gentlemen! One at a time! Simon?
- 00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:07,754 Seti, Norad, and every broadcaster on the planet
- 00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:10,173 are attempting to show this being what humanity's got...
- 00:02:10,256 --> 00:02:12,300 String Theory, World History, the Human Genome...
- 00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:14,385 Have you tried sending it launch codes?
- 00:02:14,469 --> 00:02:16,638 Mr. President, what America's got
- 00:02:16,721 --> 00:02:19,390 is 70,000 megatons of kaboom-boom,
- 00:02:19,474 --> 00:02:22,685 and I say we show it right up this floating head's ass.
- 00:02:22,769 --> 00:02:23,937 No, you need to let me talk!
- 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,271 Shut up!
- 00:02:25,355 --> 00:02:26,648 Hold it! Don't move!
- 00:02:26,731 --> 00:02:29,567 Stay back! This watch turns people into snakes!
- 00:02:29,651 --> 00:02:30,652 ♪♪
- 00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:33,822 Oh!
- 00:02:33,905 --> 00:02:35,949 Stand down! Everybody, stand down!
- 00:02:36,032 --> 00:02:38,576 I'm the leader of these people, and I'm unarmed.
- 00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:41,204 There's no need for any more snake-makery.
- 00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:42,497 My name is Rick Sanchez.
- 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:43,849 This here is my grandson, Morty.
- 00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,625 - Hi, Morty. - Hey.
- 00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,561 I've seen enough of the Galaxy to know what we've got here
- 00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,963 is a Cromulon from the Signus Five Expanse.
- 00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:52,924 So you can forget about nukes, and you can forget about math.
- 00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:54,509 This head won't go away
- 00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:56,511 until Earth shows them it's got...
- 00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:58,263 a hit song.
- 00:02:58,346 --> 00:02:59,806 - A hit song? - We can't possibly...
- 00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:01,891 - You mean like Vivaldi? - No, Frasier.
- 00:03:01,975 --> 00:03:05,395 A live performance of a newly written, catchy original song.
- 00:03:05,478 --> 00:03:06,997 The Cromulon feed on the talent and showmanship
- 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,565 of less-evolved life-forms.
- 00:03:08,648 --> 00:03:10,408 All right, all right. Thank you, Mr. Sanchez.
- 00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:11,609 Change of plan, people.
- 00:03:11,693 --> 00:03:12,878 Get me Pharrell, Randy Newman,
- 00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:15,780 Billy Corgan, and The-Dream.
- 00:03:15,864 --> 00:03:16,865 The-Dream?
- 00:03:17,407 --> 00:03:18,967 He wrote "Umbrella" and "Single Ladies"?
- 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,785 You people haven't heard of The-Dream?
- 00:03:20,869 --> 00:03:22,847 You're gonna want to put them on that giant speaker system
- 00:03:22,871 --> 00:03:24,831 at your sonic testing facility at Area 51.
- 00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:26,291 How do you know about that?
- 00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:27,417 For god's sake, Nathan,
- 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,686 the man turns people into snakes.
- 00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:30,378 He can use Google maps.
- 00:03:30,461 --> 00:03:32,022 Sir, Pharrell, Newman, Corgan, and that Dream guy...
- 00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:33,840 - They're all dead. - What?
- 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:36,467 How is that possible? Do people just die when I name them?
- 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:37,844 The Grammys, sir.
- 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,263 There was an earthquake and... all the musicians,
- 00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:42,765 all the famous ones... they're gone.
- 00:03:42,849 --> 00:03:44,017 Dear god.
- 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,018 Hold on, sir. Just a minute.
- 00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:46,853 Ice-T survived.
- 00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:49,856 He's inbound on an F-15, E.T.A. two hours.
- 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:51,482 Good luck, Mr. President.
- 00:03:51,566 --> 00:03:53,401 Sir, the magnetic poles are about to reverse.
- 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:55,570 In two hours, there may not be an Earth to save.
- 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,780 Sanchez? Are you a musician?
- 00:03:57,864 --> 00:03:59,616 I dabble, Mr. President.
- 00:03:59,699 --> 00:04:02,744 Get this man and his grandson on a Black Hawk to Area 51.
- 00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:05,955 People! Everyone! Remain calm!
- 00:04:06,039 --> 00:04:09,751 Every crisis of faith is an opportunity for more faith.
- 00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:12,587 When God deals you an 11, you don't fold!
- 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:13,796 You double down!
- 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,757 And always hit on a soft 16.
- 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,425 That means you, Jews.
- 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,969 I beg your pardon, Pastor, but the last I looked outside,
- 00:04:20,053 --> 00:04:22,847 it seems to be you that's been dealt the weak hand.
- 00:04:22,931 --> 00:04:24,766 Jews rule!
- 00:04:24,849 --> 00:04:26,768 Nobody? Okay, tough church.
- 00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,019 Hi. Principal Vagina...
- 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:29,896 The name's real, possibly Scandinavian.
- 00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,624 I'm just gonna come out and make this pitch...
- 00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:32,899 The old gods are dead.
- 00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,485 Fuck all previous existing religions.
- 00:04:35,568 --> 00:04:37,737 All hail the one true God...
- 00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:39,948 The giant head in the sky.
- 00:04:40,031 --> 00:04:41,574 - Children of God! - Ah-ta-ta-ta!
- 00:04:41,658 --> 00:04:42,909 Bob, Bob, I get it.
- 00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:45,578 But unless <i>this</i> can beat that,
- 00:04:45,662 --> 00:04:47,497 what have you done for me lately?
- 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:48,790 So, if you'll all excuse me,
- 00:04:48,873 --> 00:04:50,500 I'm going out onto the sidewalk,
- 00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:52,710 I'm dropping to my knees, and pledging my eternal soul
- 00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:55,463 to the thing that literally controls the fucking weather.
- 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:56,923 Out of my way.
- 00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,007 Okay.
- 00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:01,511 If sanity's been restored to this assembly,
- 00:05:01,594 --> 00:05:04,931 I'd like to talk about the cost of repairing our new organ.
- 00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:06,557 Sally, the plate, please.
- 00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:08,768 Oh! This is my favorite part!
- 00:05:10,436 --> 00:05:11,938 Rick, are you really a musician?
- 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,564 Who's not a musician, Morty?
- 00:05:13,648 --> 00:05:15,525 - Me! - Yeah, not with that attitude.
- 00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:17,485 We're in the drop zone! I'm the jumpmaster!
- 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:19,070 My name's Jamey... With an e-y!
- 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:20,488 Go, go, go!
- 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,073 B-but... But we don't have a song!
- 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,450 Giant head in the sky, please forgive all that we've done.
- 00:05:24,534 --> 00:05:26,536 We're sorry for our increased levels of emissions
- 00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:28,579 and our racism and, of course, the amber alerts
- 00:05:28,663 --> 00:05:29,998 I keep ignoring on my phone.
- 00:05:30,081 --> 00:05:31,916 Whoa!
- 00:05:33,710 --> 00:05:35,962 All right, Morty. Let's get... let's do it.
- 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:37,898 Why don't you, uh, find a button on one of those keyboards
- 00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:39,149 and lay down some kind of beat?
- 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,733 Rick, I think we need to cut our losses.
- 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,480 W-we get our family and portal out of here!
- 00:05:42,552 --> 00:05:44,887 Morty, good music comes from people who are relaxed.
- 00:05:44,971 --> 00:05:46,848 Just hit a button, Morty! Give me a beat!
- 00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:48,558 Oh, man. Okay. All right, um...
- 00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:54,856 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
- 00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:57,108 ♪ You gotta get schwifty ♪
- 00:05:57,191 --> 00:06:00,695 ♪ You gotta get schwifty in here ♪
- 00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:02,113 ♪ It's time to get schwifty ♪
- 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,573 ♪ Uh-oh ♪
- 00:06:03,656 --> 00:06:06,034 Get "Schwifty"? What the hell is that?
- 00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:08,995 It's our world's best effort. That's what.
- 00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:10,788 ♪ Take off your pants and your panties ♪
- 00:06:10,872 --> 00:06:12,874 ♪ Shit on the floor ♪
- 00:06:12,957 --> 00:06:15,084 ♪ Time to get schwifty in here ♪
- 00:06:15,168 --> 00:06:17,503 ♪ I'm Mr. Bulldops ♪
- 00:06:17,587 --> 00:06:19,130 "Mr. Bulldops"?
- 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,691 Don't analyze it, Nathan. It's working!
- 00:06:20,715 --> 00:06:22,467 ♪ Take a shit on the floor ♪
- 00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,635 ♪ Time to get schwifty in here ♪
- 00:06:28,181 --> 00:06:32,018 ...and third-level donors get our all-access family pass.
- 00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:33,978 Listen! The storm is stopping!
- 00:06:34,062 --> 00:06:36,564 ♪ Hey, take your pants off ♪
- 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,483 ♪ It's schwifty time today ♪
- 00:06:39,025 --> 00:06:41,402 Hmm.
- 00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:44,697 Please be kind to us, for we are but tiny things
- 00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:46,783 with entire bodies, stuck to your ground.
- 00:06:46,866 --> 00:06:51,788 I like what you got! Good job!
- 00:06:51,871 --> 00:06:53,873 - Yeah! - Whoo!
- 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:55,041 We did it!
- 00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:58,628 What do you know? He was right!
- 00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:00,963 - Hooray Principal Vagina! - Yeah, I'll take it.
- 00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:02,131 Now, hold on a second!
- 00:07:02,215 --> 00:07:04,092 Let's be rational about this.
- 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,719 No, I'm... I'm just saying,
- 00:07:06,803 --> 00:07:08,930 we don't know there's a cause-effect relationship...
- 00:07:09,013 --> 00:07:10,640 Oh, my god!
- 00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:11,641 What is going on now?!
- 00:07:11,724 --> 00:07:12,892 Whoa! Whoa!
- 00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:15,978 ♪♪
- 00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:21,859 What the hell happened?
- 00:07:21,943 --> 00:07:23,778 Mr. President, you're gonna want to see this.
- 00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:26,072 I think planet Earth has just been transported.
- 00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:28,783 The Head has left and sent its children.
- 00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,576 Holy crap!
- 00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:33,538 Oh, dear giant Head, we apologize for that discussion.
- 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,248 It will never happen again.
- 00:07:35,331 --> 00:07:37,041 Oh, dear... Oh, dear giant Head...
- 00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:40,795 Sir, we started picking up on a garbled signal.
- 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,046 We're decrypting it now.
- 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:46,217 <i>We asked them to show us what they got,</i>
- 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,094 <i>and they did.</i>
- 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:51,139 <i>Now we'll see which of them has got the most.</i>
- 00:07:51,222 --> 00:07:55,685 <i>24 hours, 5 planets, 5 songs.</i>
- 00:07:55,768 --> 00:07:58,146 <i>But in the end, there can only be one...</i>
- 00:07:58,229 --> 00:08:00,106 <i>Planet Music!</i>
- 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,774 <i>All participation is involuntary.</i>
- 00:08:01,858 --> 00:08:03,109 <i>Disqualified and losing planets</i>
- 00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,111 <i>are disintegrated by plasma ray.</i>
- 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,904 Uh, it's probably a bad time to mention it,
- 00:08:06,988 --> 00:08:10,199 but any astronauts you guys had in orbit are definitely dead.
- 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,829 Welcome back to "Planet Music"!
- 00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,539 First up, let's hear the latest song
- 00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:20,001 from planet Parblesnops', The Greeby Bobes!
- 00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:21,711 Show me what you got!
- 00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:24,005 Hold it, hold it. Stop.
- 00:08:24,088 --> 00:08:26,549 Music isn't about competition or captivity.
- 00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:28,676 If you love music, you love freedom.
- 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,554 Let these worlds be free! Please!
- 00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,389 Disqualified.
- 00:08:36,434 --> 00:08:38,853 There's one every season.
- 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:42,023 Moving on to planet Arboles Mentirosos.
- 00:08:42,106 --> 00:08:46,652 Arbolian Mentirososians, show us what you got!
- 00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:48,404 A 2, 3, 4!
- 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:02,043 Rick, Morty, Ice-T, the timetable's moved up.
- 00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:03,711 Earth's on in six hours.
- 00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,880 Like we're not already under enough pressure?!
- 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:07,840 - Whoa! Whoa! - Yeah!
- 00:09:07,924 --> 00:09:10,885 Geez, Morty, the guy's just doing his job. Take it easy.
- 00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:13,804 Rick, Ice-T, could you guys take it less easy?!
- 00:09:13,888 --> 00:09:15,890 We've got six hours to come up with a song!
- 00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:17,683 Genius happens in the moment, Morty.
- 00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:19,352 Well, can we at least go get our family?
- 00:09:19,435 --> 00:09:20,621 You know, so we can take them wis...
- 00:09:20,645 --> 00:09:22,063 With u... With us if we lose?
- 00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:23,648 That's planning for failure, Morty.
- 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,066 Even dumber than regular planning.
- 00:09:25,149 --> 00:09:26,150 Balls.
- 00:09:26,484 --> 00:09:27,902 Morty, Morty, stop. Listen.
- 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,630 There's only so much charge left in this thing.
- 00:09:29,654 --> 00:09:31,364 If we portal home from here and back,
- 00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:33,383 we're not gonna have enough charge left to get off world.
- 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:34,407 - Get it? - What?!
- 00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:35,660 - Yeah. - You see?
- 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:36,911 I try to shelter you
- 00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:38,388 from certain realities Morty,
- 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,848 because if I let you make me nervous,
- 00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:41,415 then we can't get schwifty.
- 00:09:41,499 --> 00:09:43,626 Stop saying it like it's a thing! You made it up!
- 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,086 Hey, Morty, could you lick my...
- 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:46,629 <i>balls, balls...</i>
- 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,339 Rick, cut it out! It's not funny, Rick!
- 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:51,092 I've seen enough. These guys are one-hit wonders.
- 00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:52,426 And what's your plan, General?
- 00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:53,803 We still have the nuclear option.
- 00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,930 On my word, we can launch a missile
- 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:58,099 at every one of those heads in the sky.
- 00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,476 Our planet's held captive on a live game show,
- 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,162 and your solution is to shoot the audience?
- 00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:04,456 You can put your faith in nukes if we get through this, General.
- 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,108 Until then, I'll put mine in Rick and Morty.
- 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:09,694 "Get Schwifty" was a jam.
- 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,779 Hello? Yes, sir, yeah.
- 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,364 Eh, thank you, sir. Thank you.
- 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,825 He says he's proud of what we're doing
- 00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:19,537 and hopes we have a great ascension festival!
- 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:20,620 Happy ascension!
- 00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:21,872 Happy ascension!
- 00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:23,833 We should pack up and leave town now.
- 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:26,669 I think it's inspiring that our community is coping with fear
- 00:10:26,752 --> 00:10:29,046 in a way that involves a festival and homemade ice cream.
- 00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:31,424 If you'd stop being such an evangelical atheist,
- 00:10:31,507 --> 00:10:33,384 you might start enjoying yourself.
- 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,969 Whoa! Look at you!
- 00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:36,595 You're wearing the hat and everything!
- 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:37,972 Here's yours!
- 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:40,099 Mom, do you mind if I cook dinner tonight?
- 00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:42,143 Yeah, sure. Wait. What?
- 00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:44,895 I love you guys. You gave me life.
- 00:10:44,979 --> 00:10:46,605 And it's the will of the many Heads
- 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,733 that all children honor their parents.
- 00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,109 Dinner sounds nice.
- 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,652 Pardon, Mr. And Mrs. Smith.
- 00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:53,571 Summer, are you coming to the ascension?
- 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,906 Father, can we please go to the ascension?
- 00:10:55,990 --> 00:10:57,700 Sure! Let's go to the ascension.
- 00:10:57,783 --> 00:10:58,951 Wh-wh-what is it?
- 00:10:59,035 --> 00:11:01,162 We hereby send these unwantables skyward
- 00:11:01,245 --> 00:11:03,789 that they might be inhaled by the many Heads,
- 00:11:03,873 --> 00:11:06,959 later to be sneezed back to us as better babies.
- 00:11:07,043 --> 00:11:09,170 Headward, free now to rise.
- 00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:11,172 Headward, free now to rise.
- 00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:12,673 Headward, free now to rise.
- 00:11:12,757 --> 00:11:15,426 Oh, yes! Yes! Rise to the giant Head!
- 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,053 You are free to be free!
- 00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:19,138 And squeegee comes up from the garage, right?
- 00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:20,890 But he's got a lobster in one hand,
- 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,909 the movie tickets in the other, he's like, "I'm ready!"
- 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:25,954 You gonna take a lobster to see "Iron Man 3"?
- 00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:27,855 Ice-T!
- 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,065 Ah, damn.
- 00:11:29,148 --> 00:11:31,150 We're out of original-flavor Fig Newtons.
- 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,568 I should get going anyway.
- 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:33,903 Wait, wait, wait! C-come on.
- 00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:35,988 H-hold on a second. Hold on.
- 00:11:38,032 --> 00:11:39,700 - What?! - Damn.
- 00:11:39,784 --> 00:11:41,928 You didn't tell me you fuck around with portals and shit.
- 00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:43,037 That's it!
- 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,497 Whoa, whoa, Morty! Give me that.
- 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:45,807 You lied! You lied about the charge!
- 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,124 You were just being lazy!
- 00:11:47,208 --> 00:11:48,209 Get back! Sit down!
- 00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:49,585 Morty, just put it down.
- 00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:50,948 You don't know what you're doing.
- 00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:52,755 I'm going to go find mom and dad!
- 00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,756 No!
- 00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:54,757 Oh shit.
- 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,133 Oh shit.
- 00:11:56,217 --> 00:11:59,011 ♪♪
- 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,730 Oh shit.
- 00:12:09,814 --> 00:12:11,649 And then Ethan played guitar, and we learned
- 00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:14,235 the seven contemplations of the Head by singing them.
- 00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:16,153 It was really fun.
- 00:12:16,237 --> 00:12:17,571 Praise be the Head!
- 00:12:17,655 --> 00:12:19,949 - Praise be the... - Yeah.
- 00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,867 Hi, folks. Head Priest Vagina.
- 00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:23,744 Thanks for farming all those potatoes.
- 00:12:23,828 --> 00:12:25,268 It's 6:00 p.m, so if you're a parent,
- 00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:27,957 you're now entitled to adoration from your children.
- 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,625 I'm going to start dinner!
- 00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:30,918 I don't know what to say.
- 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,962 Summer is doing really well here.
- 00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:35,798 She's aced every test in potato class,
- 00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,967 and look how important potatoes have become.
- 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:41,762 She's not getting pregnant or doing drugs or missing curfew.
- 00:12:41,846 --> 00:12:43,848 Please help me. You can reach me if you try.
- 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,266 Please help me!
- 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:47,518 That's not our business as long as Summer is thriving.
- 00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,270 Taco time!
- 00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:51,730 I hope it pleases you as the Head desires.
- 00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:53,274 That's wonderful, Summer.
- 00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:55,025 We're so proud of you.
- 00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:57,528 But obviously you don't have to make dinner every night.
- 00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,947 Of course I do, silly!
- 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:02,992 Oh, my god, daddy! I'm sorry I called you silly!
- 00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:04,618 I'm so sorry!
- 00:13:04,702 --> 00:13:06,120 Heavenly Heads and cranial creator,
- 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,747 forgive my transgressions against family and community.
- 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:11,250 May my chores complete me as I complete them.
- 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:17,798 ♪♪
- 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:27,850 Morty.
- 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:28,726 Birdperson?
- 00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:29,809 You appear to be dying.
- 00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,228 I will make efforts to prevent this
- 00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:32,688 but can promise nothing.
- 00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:41,047 Wh-what do you think, Ice? Probably a little overdeveloped.
- 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,866 Shit, overdeveloped, underdeveloped...
- 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,242 A bad song's a bad song.
- 00:13:45,326 --> 00:13:46,785 Well, do you think, maybe...
- 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,054 Could you give me some help with it, or...?
- 00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,330 Aw, hell no, man.
- 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:51,248 You do your thing, but I can't afford to
- 00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:52,809 get my pride wrapped up in your shame.
- 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,168 You know what I'm saying?
- 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,188 Ice, I don't want to be a negative Nelly or anything,
- 00:13:56,212 --> 00:13:58,148 but if Morty doesn't come back with my portal gun
- 00:13:58,172 --> 00:13:59,632 and I eat it out there,
- 00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:01,592 it's, uh, you know, kind of your problem, too.
- 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,595 Pfft! I ain't worried about no Earth blowing up, man.
- 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:05,930 What? Why not?
- 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:08,849 Yo, this is why.
- 00:14:08,933 --> 00:14:10,976 What the fuck, you can turn into ice?
- 00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:13,270 My story begins at the dawn of time
- 00:14:13,354 --> 00:14:15,898 in the faraway realm of Alphabetrium.
- 00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:19,026 There, every being is a letter of the alphabet.
- 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:23,113 But I was frozen and exiled to the cosmos by my elders
- 00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:26,200 as punishment for not caring enough about anything.
- 00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:28,244 Earth is just one of my many stops
- 00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:31,080 on a lifelong journey with no destination.
- 00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,749 So you better believe I don't care if it blows up,
- 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,919 because I'll just be ice floating through space,
- 00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:38,629 like a comet.
- 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,752 Take it from me, Ice, you can't just
- 00:14:40,798 --> 00:14:43,133 Float around space not caring about stuff forever.
- 00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:44,969 Pfft. Man, watch me.
- 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,720 Good luck, Rick.
- 00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:52,101 Okay, things are getting out of hand.
- 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:53,828 I better make sure Rick has everything he needs
- 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:54,979 to get schwifty.
- 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,814 Oh, for god's sakes. That's enough.
- 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,333 What the hell are you doing, Nathan?!
- 00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:00,776 I'm the goddamn President of the United fucking States!
- 00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:02,419 I'm setting the nuclear option to launch
- 00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:04,405 one minute into Earth's performance.
- 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:07,157 And you, Mr. President...
- 00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:10,244 I hope you like being hit in the face with a gun.
- 00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:13,163 Wait, wait, wait. Why... why...
- 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,334 I believe I can access the history of Rick's gun
- 00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:18,836 and help you get back to him.
- 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,105 But can you help me get to my family?
- 00:15:20,129 --> 00:15:21,255 You know, at... at my house?
- 00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:23,257 Is your intention to abandon Rick
- 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,883 using his own portal gun?
- 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:27,678 In Bird culture, this is considered a dick move.
- 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,680 All of Rick's moves are dick moves!
- 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:30,973 What... What am I eating?
- 00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,433 Wh-what is this, bird... birdseed?
- 00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:34,977 It is random debris. I found it in my carpet.
- 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:36,437 I don't know what humans eat.
- 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,147 You know what this human eats.
- 00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:39,273 Don't be gross, Tammy.
- 00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:40,774 Bird dick.
- 00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:42,234 Tammy, gross.
- 00:15:42,318 --> 00:15:44,028 Birdperson, you always stick up for Rick,
- 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,155 but he doesn't care about anyone but himself.
- 00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:47,823 He doesn't think about the consequences
- 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,033 of anything he does.
- 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,451 And as a result, he has the power
- 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,995 to save or destroy entire worlds.
- 00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:55,289 And he is the reason you and I know each other...
- 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:58,000 and the reason I'm alive at all.
- 00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,084 ♪♪
- 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:03,756 What's that? Who's that baby?
- 00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:06,175 Morty, suppose you could retrieve your family from Earth
- 00:16:06,258 --> 00:16:07,843 but had to abandon Rick.
- 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:10,304 I could give your loved ones shelter on Birdworld,
- 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:13,015 even jobs, possibly as worm ranchers.
- 00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:15,768 How often do you think you might look up at the stars
- 00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,353 and wonder what might have been
- 00:16:17,436 --> 00:16:19,521 had you just put your faith in Rick?
- 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,733 <i>That was Chunkytunk with</i>
- 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,110 <i>"Full Ming Mong, Empty Gorbdork."</i>
- 00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:27,196 <i>Up next, planet Earth!</i>
- 00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:28,989 Oh, god! We're up?!
- 00:16:29,073 --> 00:16:31,450 Jerry and Beth, your family is a golden example
- 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,786 of what Headism has to offer the world.
- 00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:35,913 - The world? - Headism is a hit.
- 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,807 We're taking it worldwide, and we'd like Jerry to be
- 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,750 our church's <i>Head</i> of advertising.
- 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,210 You would?
- 00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:43,420 Beth, we'd like to promote you from horse surgeon
- 00:16:43,504 --> 00:16:46,382 straight past human surgeon to <i>Head</i> of medicine.
- 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:47,925 That's my dream! That's my dream.
- 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,886 Thank you. This is all so overwhelming.
- 00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,262 But, uh...
- 00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:53,472 we can't. - Absolutely not.
- 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:54,555 I'm sorry?
- 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:56,392 We've been waiting 16 years
- 00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:58,143 for our daughter to respect us,
- 00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:00,896 but the key is, it has to be our daughter,
- 00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,898 not this person she's become.
- 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:05,192 We'll take our chances raising her
- 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:06,777 without fancy new jobs,
- 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,071 outside of a potato-based religion.
- 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:12,282 And you know what? I-I'm sick of pretending that we're together
- 00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:14,243 because of the kids in the first place.
- 00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:17,496 I married you because you're the love of my life.
- 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:20,374 And I'm lucky to have you, and I never tell you that!
- 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:23,877 You know, we will come out of this stronger as a family.
- 00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:25,921 Please don't do this! Please don't do this!
- 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,006 - Summer! - Summer, listen carefully.
- 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,970 I stole a paper clip, and I have it in my cheek,
- 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,861 but I don't know what to do with it, and it hurts.
- 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:32,970 You're going to be okay.
- 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,388 You will come back as babies.
- 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:37,015 I <i>am</i> a baby! I'm a baby now!
- 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:38,100 Hello?
- 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,935 Is anybody here?
- 00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,397 Mr. President!
- 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,983 This is Bluebird!
- 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,276 Code Tango Niner Alpha!
- 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,445 Abort launch! Abort! Hello?
- 00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:50,821 He's blocked me out.
- 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,144 Sir, I need to get to the stage
- 00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:53,449 and help Rick get Schwifty!
- 00:17:53,532 --> 00:17:55,218 It won't matter how Schwifty you get, Morty.
- 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:56,594 The General's got nukes set to launch
- 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,162 halfway through Earth's song!
- 00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:00,372 Oh, my god! Uh, c-can you fly a Black Hawk?
- 00:18:00,456 --> 00:18:02,458 Can the Pope's dick fit through a doughnut?
- 00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:04,501 Uh, I'm... not sure.
- 00:18:04,585 --> 00:18:06,253 Exactly.
- 00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:10,299 Show me what you got!
- 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:13,886 Uh...
- 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:15,596 ♪ Lapoo lapoo lapoo dops ♪
- 00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,431 ♪ Napoo napoo napoo nots ♪
- 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,975 Headward, free now to rise.
- 00:18:20,058 --> 00:18:21,351 Hey, look at the Heads!
- 00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:23,020 Looks like the Heads are getting angry!
- 00:18:23,979 --> 00:18:25,731 I'm really bad at this, Morty!
- 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:27,292 There are way too many buttons in this thing!
- 00:18:27,316 --> 00:18:29,443 Mr. President, if I've learned one thing today
- 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:32,196 it's that sometimes you have to not give a fuck.
- 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,072 ♪ Napoo napoo nots ♪
- 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,532 Ugh. Tough crowd.
- 00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,201 I'm sure that has...
- 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,620 That has nothing to do with this.
- 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,081 The Heads are displeased!
- 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:44,082 Summer!
- 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,083 Um...
- 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,004 Morty!
- 00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,214 Hooray!
- 00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:51,465 Hooray! Look!
- 00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:52,633 Hooray!
- 00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:54,343 The Heads love this!
- 00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:56,845 They love it when we don't kill the Smith family!
- 00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:58,430 No! Stop that!
- 00:18:58,514 --> 00:19:00,808 You're not allowed to interpret the will of the Heads!
- 00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:03,644 Call off the nuclear strike! This is the President!
- 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,270 Stop the nuclear missile launch!
- 00:19:05,354 --> 00:19:06,980 Just launch the missiles!
- 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,362 Boo! Not cool!
- 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:15,364 I'm the only one that speaks to the Heads!
- 00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:16,448 Disqualified!
- 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:20,118 The Heads disqualified Vagina! Get him!
- 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,203 Disqualified!
- 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:22,621 Disqualified!
- 00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:26,291 ♪♪
- 00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:33,340 Ice-T?!
- 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,968 That's right. It's me... Ice-T.
- 00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:37,636 I care now.
- 00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:40,055 You made me care more.
- 00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:41,640 With all due respect,
- 00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:45,519 I'd like to hear what Rick and Morty have to play.
- 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,354 What do you say, Rick?
- 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,940 I say, let's do it!
- 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,376 Hooray!
- 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,401 Yeah.
- 00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,528 All right.
- 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,238 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ - Uh-huh.
- 00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,698 Here we go.
- 00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,324 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
- 00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:00,408 ♪ Say it with me ♪
- 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,619 ♪ Head bent over ♪
- 00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:04,538 ♪ Raised up posterior ♪
- 00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:05,539 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
- 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,583 ♪ Head bent over ♪
- 00:20:07,666 --> 00:20:10,043 ♪ Yeah, raised up posterior ♪
- 00:20:10,127 --> 00:20:11,128 Sing it with me now!
- 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,672 Oh, my go...
- 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,382 ♪ Head bent over ♪
- 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:16,465 Yeah.
- 00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:18,093 ♪ Raised up posterior ♪
- 00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:19,176 All right!
- 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,554 ♪ Head bent over ♪
- 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:24,975 Oh, yeah. Raised up posterior!
- 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,270 After 988 seasons of "Planet Music,"
- 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:32,566 the Cromulons have decided to declare Earth the final winner
- 00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:35,986 and bring our musical reality show to a conclusion.
- 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,070 Goodbye.
- 00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:40,574 - Yeah! - We did it! Yes!
- 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,534 Let's get a music album now!
- 00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:46,371 Did he just say "Musical Reality Show"?
- 00:20:46,455 --> 00:20:49,291 Yeah, it's possible that we may have been correlating
- 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,752 some things that weren't actually related at all.
- 00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:52,836 Help!
- 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,588 We should go get him.
- 00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:58,151 I hope I can call on you and Rick again if I need you, Morty.
- 00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,593 Sure thing. And I...
- 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:02,054 I was kind of hoping that I could get a selfie with you?
- 00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:04,389 Actually, if you try to tell anyone what happened here,
- 00:21:04,473 --> 00:21:06,433 we'll deny it and probably worse.
- 00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:07,516 Understood.
- 00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:08,644 D-I-i-i-i-ie!
- 00:21:08,727 --> 00:21:10,729 Oh, no, no, no!
- 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:13,315 Why didn't <i>he</i> turn into a snake?
- 00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,733 Trade secret, Mr. President.
- 00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:16,526 Particle beam in a wristwatch,
- 00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:19,029 snake holster on the leg.
- 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,706 I love this man!
- 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,793 ♪♪
- 00:22:04,116 --> 00:22:06,118 Magnesium-J, Hydrogen-F...
- 00:22:06,952 --> 00:22:07,953 Father.
- 00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:11,081 Word of your selfless acts on the Earth planet
- 00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:13,166 have traveled across the galaxy.
- 00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:14,584 I have changed.
- 00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:18,088 I am ready to rejoin my brethren on Alphabetrium.
- 00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:19,172 Very well.
- 00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:21,925 Your exile ends today.
- 00:22:24,428 --> 00:22:27,431 Welcome home, Water-T.
- 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,143 The Numbericons! They're attacking!
- 00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:32,853 Battle stations!
- 00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:33,937 Aah!
- 00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:35,105 Father!
- 00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:36,440 I love you, son.
- 00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:39,943 I should have never turned you to ice.
- 00:22:41,653 --> 00:22:43,697 Water-T, where are you going?!
- 00:22:43,780 --> 00:22:45,282 There's too many of them!
- 00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:48,118 Then I better crunch the numbers.
- 00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:51,079 - Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
- 00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:56,668 Did you get any of that?
- 00:22:56,752 --> 00:22:58,879 It's-a good show-a.
- 00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:13,348 [Thunder crashes]
- 00:00:13,431 --> 00:00:16,393 Hey, golf is easy now!
- 00:00:16,476 --> 00:00:19,229 Aah! Golf is hard again! Golf is hard again!
- 00:00:19,312 --> 00:00:21,356 The view from here is the same as yours, Jim.
- 00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:23,525 A giant head has entered Earth's gravity,
- 00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:25,652 triggering climate change and natural disasters
- 00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:28,655 we thought were impossible for at least another eight years.
- 00:00:28,738 --> 00:00:30,240 Let's not make this political, Terry.
- 00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:32,534 Do we know what this giant head wants?
- 00:00:32,617 --> 00:00:33,618 [Clears throat]
- 00:00:33,702 --> 00:00:36,121 Show me what you got.
- 00:00:36,204 --> 00:00:41,668 Jim, you heard the... said... "Show me what you got."
- 00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:43,461 Show me what you got.
- 00:00:43,545 --> 00:00:45,630 I want to see what you got.
- 00:00:45,714 --> 00:00:47,465 RICK: Oh, boy. Time to go, Morty.
- 00:00:47,549 --> 00:00:48,549 Uh, where?
- 00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:49,843 The Pentagon.
- 00:00:49,926 --> 00:00:51,636 I mean, not <i>the</i> Pentagon.
- 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,555 [Burps] The lame one here on Earth.
- 00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:56,641 ♪♪
- 00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:27,212 SUMMER: Is it God?
- 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,757 If it's God, do we get out of school?
- 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,508 It's not God, Summer.
- 00:01:30,592 --> 00:01:32,802 She's allowed to think it's God if she wants, honey.
- 00:01:32,886 --> 00:01:33,720 Shut up, Jerry.
- 00:01:33,803 --> 00:01:34,803 Okay.
- 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,432 Dad, what do you know about this?
- 00:01:37,515 --> 00:01:38,826 Morty and I are going to look into it.
- 00:01:38,850 --> 00:01:39,934 You guys hold tight.
- 00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:45,148 Scary stuff, huh? Pretty freaky.
- 00:01:45,231 --> 00:01:46,608 Hi. I'm Morty's math teacher.
- 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:48,777 I'm also part of the street team inviting folks
- 00:01:48,860 --> 00:01:51,362 to the church downtown so we can pray together.
- 00:01:51,446 --> 00:01:52,864 How is praying going to help?
- 00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:55,241 Ma'am, a giant head in the sky is controlling the weather.
- 00:01:55,325 --> 00:01:57,327 Did you want to play checkers? Let's be rational!
- 00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:59,412 I'll see you at God's house!
- 00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:02,665 [Indistinct conversations]
- 00:02:02,749 --> 00:02:05,460 Gentlemen, gentlemen! One at a time! Simon?
- 00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:07,754 Seti, Norad, and every broadcaster on the planet
- 00:02:07,837 --> 00:02:10,173 are attempting to show this being what humanity's got...
- 00:02:10,256 --> 00:02:12,300 String Theory, World History, the Human Genome...
- 00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:14,385 Have you tried sending it launch codes?
- 00:02:14,469 --> 00:02:16,638 Mr. President, what America's got
- 00:02:16,721 --> 00:02:19,390 is 70,000 megatons of kaboom-boom,
- 00:02:19,474 --> 00:02:22,685 and I say we show it right up this floating head's ass.
- 00:02:22,769 --> 00:02:23,937 No, you need to let me talk!
- 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,271 Shut up!
- 00:02:25,355 --> 00:02:26,648 Hold it! Don't move!
- 00:02:26,731 --> 00:02:29,567 Stay back! This watch turns people into snakes!
- 00:02:29,651 --> 00:02:30,652 ♪♪
- 00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:33,822 Oh!
- 00:02:33,905 --> 00:02:35,949 Stand down! Everybody, stand down!
- 00:02:36,032 --> 00:02:38,576 I'm the leader of these people, and I'm unarmed.
- 00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:41,204 There's no need for any more snake-makery.
- 00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:42,497 My name is Rick Sanchez.
- 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:43,849 This here is my grandson, Morty.
- 00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,625 - ALL: Hi, Morty. - Hey.
- 00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,561 I've seen enough of the Galaxy to know what we've got here
- 00:02:47,585 --> 00:02:49,963 is a Cromulon from the Signus Five Expanse.
- 00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:52,924 So you can forget about nukes, and you can forget about math.
- 00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:54,509 This head won't go away
- 00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:56,511 until [burps] Earth shows them it's got...
- 00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:58,263 a hit song.
- 00:02:58,346 --> 00:02:59,806 - A hit song? - We can't possibly...
- 00:02:59,889 --> 00:03:01,891 - You mean like Vivaldi? - No, Frasier.
- 00:03:01,975 --> 00:03:05,395 A live performance of a newly written, catchy original song.
- 00:03:05,478 --> 00:03:06,997 The Cromulon feed on the talent and showmanship
- 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,565 of less-evolved life-forms.
- 00:03:08,648 --> 00:03:10,408 All right, all right. Thank you, Mr. Sanchez.
- 00:03:10,483 --> 00:03:11,609 Change of plan, people.
- 00:03:11,693 --> 00:03:12,878 Get me Pharrell, Randy Newman,
- 00:03:12,902 --> 00:03:15,780 Billy Corgan, and The-Dream.
- 00:03:15,864 --> 00:03:16,865 The-Dream?
- 00:03:17,407 --> 00:03:18,967 He wrote "Umbrella" and "Single Ladies"?
- 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,785 You people haven't heard of The-Dream?
- 00:03:20,869 --> 00:03:22,847 You're gonna want to put them on that giant speaker system
- 00:03:22,871 --> 00:03:24,831 at your sonic testing facility at Area 51.
- 00:03:24,914 --> 00:03:26,291 How do you know about that?
- 00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:27,417 For god's sake, Nathan,
- 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:28,686 the man turns people into snakes.
- 00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:30,378 He can use Google maps.
- 00:03:30,461 --> 00:03:32,022 Sir, Pharrell, Newman, Corgan, and that Dream guy...
- 00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:33,840 - They're all dead. - What?
- 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:36,467 How is that possible? Do people just die when I name them?
- 00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:37,844 The Grammys, sir.
- 00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,263 There was an earthquake and... all the musicians,
- 00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:42,765 all the famous ones... they're gone.
- 00:03:42,849 --> 00:03:44,017 Dear god.
- 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,018 Hold on, sir. Just a minute.
- 00:03:45,101 --> 00:03:46,853 Ice-T survived.
- 00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:49,856 He's inbound on an F-15, E.T.A. two hours.
- 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:51,482 Good luck, Mr. President.
- 00:03:51,566 --> 00:03:53,401 Sir, the magnetic poles are about to reverse.
- 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:55,570 In two hours, there may not be an Earth to save.
- 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:57,780 Sanchez? Are you a musician?
- 00:03:57,864 --> 00:03:59,616 I dabble, Mr. President.
- 00:03:59,699 --> 00:04:02,744 Get this man and his grandson on a Black Hawk to Area 51.
- 00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:05,955 People! Everyone! Remain calm!
- 00:04:06,039 --> 00:04:09,751 Every crisis of faith is an opportunity for more faith.
- 00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:12,587 When God deals you an 11, you don't fold!
- 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:13,796 You double down!
- 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,757 And always hit on a soft 16.
- 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,425 That means you, Jews.
- 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,969 I beg your pardon, Pastor, but the last I looked outside,
- 00:04:20,053 --> 00:04:22,847 it seems to be you that's been dealt the weak hand.
- 00:04:22,931 --> 00:04:24,766 Jews rule!
- 00:04:24,849 --> 00:04:26,768 Nobody? Okay, tough church.
- 00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,019 Hi. Principal Vagina...
- 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:29,896 The name's real, possibly Scandinavian.
- 00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:31,624 I'm just gonna come out and make this pitch...
- 00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:32,899 The old gods are dead.
- 00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,485 Fuck all previous existing religions.
- 00:04:35,568 --> 00:04:37,737 All hail the one true God...
- 00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:39,948 The giant head in the sky.
- 00:04:40,031 --> 00:04:41,574 - Children of God! - Ah-ta-ta-ta!
- 00:04:41,658 --> 00:04:42,909 Bob, Bob, I get it.
- 00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:45,578 But unless <i>this</i> can beat that,
- 00:04:45,662 --> 00:04:47,497 what have you done for me lately?
- 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:48,790 So, if you'll all excuse me,
- 00:04:48,873 --> 00:04:50,500 I'm going out onto the sidewalk,
- 00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:52,710 I'm dropping to my knees, and pledging my eternal soul
- 00:04:52,794 --> 00:04:55,463 to the thing that literally controls the fucking weather.
- 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:56,923 Out of my way.
- 00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,007 Okay.
- 00:04:58,466 --> 00:05:01,511 If sanity's been restored to this assembly,
- 00:05:01,594 --> 00:05:04,931 I'd like to talk about the cost of repairing our new organ.
- 00:05:05,014 --> 00:05:06,557 Sally, the plate, please.
- 00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:08,768 Oh! This is my favorite part!
- 00:05:10,436 --> 00:05:11,938 Rick, are you really a musician?
- 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,564 Who's not a musician, Morty?
- 00:05:13,648 --> 00:05:15,525 - Me! - Yeah, not with that attitude.
- 00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:17,485 We're in the drop zone! I'm the jumpmaster!
- 00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:19,070 My name's Jamey... With an e-y!
- 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:20,488 Go, go, go!
- 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,073 B-but... But we don't have a song!
- 00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,450 Giant head in the sky, please forgive all that we've done.
- 00:05:24,534 --> 00:05:26,536 We're sorry for our increased levels of emissions
- 00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:28,579 and our racism and, of course, the amber alerts
- 00:05:28,663 --> 00:05:29,998 I keep ignoring on my phone.
- 00:05:30,081 --> 00:05:31,916 BOTH: Whoa!
- 00:05:33,710 --> 00:05:35,962 All right, Morty. Let's get... let's do it.
- 00:05:36,045 --> 00:05:37,898 Why don't you, uh, find a button on one of those keyboards
- 00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:39,149 and lay down some kind of beat?
- 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,733 Rick, I think we need to cut our losses.
- 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,480 W-we get our family and portal out of here!
- 00:05:42,552 --> 00:05:44,887 Morty, good music comes from people who are relaxed.
- 00:05:44,971 --> 00:05:46,848 Just hit a button, Morty! Give me a beat!
- 00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:48,558 Oh, man. Okay. All right, um...
- 00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:50,101 [techno beat plays]
- 00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:54,856 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
- 00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:57,108 ♪ You gotta get schwifty ♪
- 00:05:57,191 --> 00:06:00,695 ♪ You gotta get schwifty in here ♪
- 00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:02,113 ♪ It's time to get schwifty ♪
- 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,573 ♪ Uh-oh ♪
- 00:06:03,656 --> 00:06:06,034 Get "Schwifty"? What the hell is that?
- 00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:08,995 It's our world's best effort. That's what.
- 00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:10,788 ♪ Take off your pants and your panties ♪
- 00:06:10,872 --> 00:06:12,874 ♪ Shit on the floor ♪
- 00:06:12,957 --> 00:06:15,084 ♪ Time to get schwifty in here ♪
- 00:06:15,168 --> 00:06:17,503 ♪ I'm Mr. Bulldops ♪
- 00:06:17,587 --> 00:06:19,130 "Mr. Bulldops"?
- 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,691 Don't analyze it, Nathan. It's working!
- 00:06:20,715 --> 00:06:22,467 ♪ Take a shit on the floor ♪
- 00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,635 ♪ Time to get schwifty in here ♪
- 00:06:24,719 --> 00:06:26,220 [Rumbling stops]
- 00:06:28,181 --> 00:06:32,018 ...and third-level donors get our all-access family pass.
- 00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:33,978 Listen! The storm is stopping!
- 00:06:34,062 --> 00:06:36,564 ♪ Hey, take your pants off ♪
- 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,483 ♪ It's schwifty time today ♪
- 00:06:39,025 --> 00:06:41,402 [Music stops] - Hmm.
- 00:06:42,695 --> 00:06:44,697 Please be kind to us, for we are but tiny things
- 00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:46,783 with entire bodies, stuck to your ground.
- 00:06:46,866 --> 00:06:51,788 I like what you got! Good job!
- 00:06:51,871 --> 00:06:53,873 - Yea[burps]h! - Whoo!
- 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:55,041 We did it!
- 00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:56,918 [All cheering]
- 00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:58,628 What do you know? He was right!
- 00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:00,963 - Hooray Principal Vagina! - Yeah, I'll take it.
- 00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:02,131 Now, hold on a second!
- 00:07:02,215 --> 00:07:04,092 Let's be rational about this.
- 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,719 No, I'm... I'm just saying,
- 00:07:06,803 --> 00:07:08,930 we don't know there's a cause-effect relationship...
- 00:07:09,013 --> 00:07:10,640 [rumbling] - Oh, my god!
- 00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:11,641 What is going on now?!
- 00:07:11,724 --> 00:07:12,892 Whoa! Whoa!
- 00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:15,978 ♪♪
- 00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:21,859 What the hell happened?
- 00:07:21,943 --> 00:07:23,778 Mr. President, you're gonna want to see this.
- 00:07:23,861 --> 00:07:26,072 I think planet Earth has just been transported.
- 00:07:26,155 --> 00:07:28,783 PRINCIPAL VAGINA: The Head has left and sent its children.
- 00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,576 Holy crap!
- 00:07:30,660 --> 00:07:33,538 Oh, dear giant Head, we apologize for that discussion.
- 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,248 It will never happen again.
- 00:07:35,331 --> 00:07:37,041 Oh, dear... Oh, dear giant Head...
- 00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:38,709 [all praying]
- 00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:40,795 Sir, we started picking up on a garbled signal.
- 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,046 We're decrypting it now.
- 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:46,217 HEAD: <i>We asked them to show us what they got,</i>
- 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,094 <i>and they did.</i>
- 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:51,139 <i>Now we'll see which of them has got the most.</i>
- 00:07:51,222 --> 00:07:55,685 <i>24 hours, 5 planets, 5 songs.</i>
- 00:07:55,768 --> 00:07:58,146 <i>But in the end, there can only be one...</i>
- 00:07:58,229 --> 00:08:00,106 <i>Planet Music!</i>
- 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,774 <i>All participation is involuntary.</i>
- 00:08:01,858 --> 00:08:03,109 <i>Disqualified and losing planets</i>
- 00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:05,111 <i>are disintegrated by plasma ray.</i>
- 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,904 Uh, it's probably a bad time to mention it,
- 00:08:06,988 --> 00:08:10,199 but any astronauts you guys had in orbit are definitely dead.
- 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,829 HEAD: Welcome back to "Planet Music"!
- 00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,539 First up, let's hear the latest song
- 00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:20,001 from planet Parblesnops', The Greeby Bobes!
- 00:08:20,084 --> 00:08:21,711 Show me what you got!
- 00:08:21,794 --> 00:08:24,005 Hold it, hold it. Stop.
- 00:08:24,088 --> 00:08:26,549 Music isn't about competition or captivity.
- 00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:28,676 If you love music, you love freedom.
- 00:08:28,759 --> 00:08:31,554 Let these worlds be free! Please!
- 00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,389 Disqualified.
- 00:08:35,391 --> 00:08:36,391 [Buzzer]
- 00:08:36,434 --> 00:08:38,853 There's one every season.
- 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:42,023 Moving on to planet Arboles Mentirosos.
- 00:08:42,106 --> 00:08:46,652 Arbolian Mentirososians, show us what you got!
- 00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:48,404 A 2, 3, 4!
- 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,489 [Mid-tempo music plays]
- 00:08:55,578 --> 00:08:59,707 [Guitar strumming, sour notes play]
- 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:02,043 Rick, Morty, Ice-T, the timetable's moved up.
- 00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:03,711 Earth's on in six hours.
- 00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:05,880 Like we're not already under enough pressure?!
- 00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:07,840 - Whoa! Whoa! - [laughs] Yeah!
- 00:09:07,924 --> 00:09:10,885 Geez, Morty, the guy's just doing his job. Take it easy.
- 00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:13,804 Rick, Ice-T, could you guys take it less easy?!
- 00:09:13,888 --> 00:09:15,890 We've got six hours to come up with a song!
- 00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:17,683 Genius happens in the moment, Morty.
- 00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:19,352 Well, can we at least go get our family?
- 00:09:19,435 --> 00:09:20,621 You know, so we can take them wis...
- 00:09:20,645 --> 00:09:22,063 With u... With us if we lose?
- 00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:23,648 That's planning for failure, Morty.
- 00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:25,066 Even dumber than regular planning.
- 00:09:25,149 --> 00:09:26,150 Balls.
- 00:09:26,484 --> 00:09:27,902 Morty, Morty, stop. Listen.
- 00:09:27,985 --> 00:09:29,630 There's only so much charge left in this thing.
- 00:09:29,654 --> 00:09:31,364 If we portal home from here and back,
- 00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:33,383 we're not gonna have enough charge left to get off world.
- 00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:34,407 - Get it? - What?!
- 00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:35,660 Yeah. [burps] You see?
- 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:36,911 I try to shelter you
- 00:09:36,994 --> 00:09:38,388 from certain realities [burps] Morty,
- 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:39,848 because if I let you make me nervous,
- 00:09:39,872 --> 00:09:41,415 then we can't get schwifty.
- 00:09:41,499 --> 00:09:43,626 Stop saying it like it's a thing! You made it up!
- 00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,086 Hey, Morty, could you lick my...
- 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:46,629 <i>balls, balls...</i>
- 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,339 Rick, cut it out! It's not funny, Rick!
- 00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:51,092 I've seen enough. These guys are one-hit wonders.
- 00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:52,426 And what's your plan, General?
- 00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:53,803 We still have the nuclear option.
- 00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:55,930 On my word, we can launch a missile
- 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:58,099 at every one of those heads in the sky.
- 00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,476 Our planet's held captive on a live game show,
- 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,162 and your solution is to shoot the audience?
- 00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:04,456 You can put your faith in nukes if we get through this, General.
- 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,108 Until then, I'll put mine in Rick and Morty.
- 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:09,694 "Get Schwifty" was a jam.
- 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,779 Hello? Yes, sir, yeah.
- 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,364 Eh, thank you, sir. Thank you.
- 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,825 He says he's proud of what we're doing
- 00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:19,537 and hopes we have a great ascension festival!
- 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:20,620 Happy ascension!
- 00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:21,872 ALL: Happy ascension!
- 00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:23,833 We should pack up and leave town now.
- 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:26,669 I think it's inspiring that our community is coping with fear
- 00:10:26,752 --> 00:10:29,046 in a way that involves a festival and homemade ice cream.
- 00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:31,424 If you'd stop being such an evangelical atheist,
- 00:10:31,507 --> 00:10:33,384 you might start enjoying yourself.
- 00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:34,969 Whoa! Look at you!
- 00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:36,595 You're wearing the hat and everything!
- 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:37,972 Here's yours!
- 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:40,099 Mom, do you mind if I cook dinner tonight?
- 00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:42,143 Yeah, sure. Wait. What?
- 00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:44,895 I love you guys. You gave me life.
- 00:10:44,979 --> 00:10:46,605 And it's the will of the many Heads
- 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,733 that all children honor their parents.
- 00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:50,109 Dinner sounds nice.
- 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,652 Pardon, Mr. And Mrs. Smith.
- 00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:53,571 Summer, are you coming to the ascension?
- 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,906 Father, can we please go to the ascension?
- 00:10:55,990 --> 00:10:57,700 Sure! Let's go to the ascension.
- 00:10:57,783 --> 00:10:58,951 Wh-wh-what is it?
- 00:10:59,035 --> 00:11:01,162 We hereby send these unwantables skyward
- 00:11:01,245 --> 00:11:03,789 that they might be inhaled by the many Heads,
- 00:11:03,873 --> 00:11:06,959 later to be sneezed back to us as better babies.
- 00:11:07,043 --> 00:11:09,170 Headward, free now to rise.
- 00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:11,172 Headward, free now to rise.
- 00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:12,673 Headward, free now to rise.
- 00:11:12,757 --> 00:11:15,426 Oh, yes! Yes! Rise to the giant Head!
- 00:11:15,509 --> 00:11:17,053 You are free to be free!
- 00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:19,138 And squeegee comes up from the garage, right?
- 00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:20,890 But he's got a lobster in one hand,
- 00:11:20,973 --> 00:11:22,909 the movie tickets in the other, he's like, "I'm ready!"
- 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:23,934 [laughs]
- 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:25,954 You gonna take a lobster to see "Iron Man 3"?
- 00:11:25,978 --> 00:11:27,855 [laughing] Ice-T!
- 00:11:27,938 --> 00:11:29,065 Ah, damn.
- 00:11:29,148 --> 00:11:31,150 We're out of original-flavor Fig Newtons.
- 00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,568 I should get going anyway.
- 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:33,903 Wait, wait, wait! C-come on.
- 00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:35,988 H-hold on a second. Hold on.
- 00:11:38,032 --> 00:11:39,700 - What?! - Damn.
- 00:11:39,784 --> 00:11:41,928 You didn't tell me you fuck around with portals and shit.
- 00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:43,037 That's it! [grunts]
- 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,497 Whoa, whoa, Morty! Give me that.
- 00:11:44,580 --> 00:11:45,807 You lied! You lied about the charge!
- 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,124 You were just being lazy!
- 00:11:47,208 --> 00:11:48,209 Get back! Sit down!
- 00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:49,585 Morty, just put it down.
- 00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:50,948 You don't know what you're doing.
- 00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:52,755 I'm going to go find mom and dad!
- 00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:53,756 No!
- 00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:54,757 Oh shit.
- 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,133 Oh shit.
- 00:11:56,217 --> 00:11:59,011 ♪♪
- 00:12:06,060 --> 00:12:07,061 [Farting]
- 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,730 Oh shit.
- 00:12:09,814 --> 00:12:11,649 And then Ethan played guitar, and we learned
- 00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:14,235 the seven contemplations of the Head by singing them.
- 00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:16,153 It was really fun.
- 00:12:16,237 --> 00:12:17,571 Praise be the Head!
- 00:12:17,655 --> 00:12:19,949 - BOTH: Praise be the... - Yeah.
- 00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,867 Hi, folks. Head Priest Vagina.
- 00:12:21,951 --> 00:12:23,744 Thanks for farming all those potatoes.
- 00:12:23,828 --> 00:12:25,268 It's 6:00 p.m, so if you're a parent,
- 00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:27,957 you're now entitled to adoration from your children.
- 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:29,625 I'm going to start dinner!
- 00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:30,918 I don't know what to say.
- 00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,962 Summer is doing really well here.
- 00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:35,798 She's aced every test in potato class,
- 00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:37,967 and look how important potatoes have become.
- 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:41,762 She's not getting pregnant or doing drugs or missing curfew.
- 00:12:41,846 --> 00:12:43,848 Please help me. You can reach me if you try.
- 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,266 Please help me!
- 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:47,518 That's not our business as long as Summer is thriving.
- 00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:49,270 Taco time!
- 00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:51,730 I hope it pleases you as the Head desires.
- 00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:53,274 That's wonderful, Summer.
- 00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:55,025 We're so proud of you.
- 00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:57,528 But obviously you don't have to make dinner every night.
- 00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:59,947 Of course I do, silly! [gasps]
- 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:02,992 Oh, my god, daddy! I'm sorry I called you silly!
- 00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:04,618 I'm so sorry!
- 00:13:04,702 --> 00:13:06,120 Heavenly Heads and cranial creator,
- 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,747 forgive my transgressions against family and community.
- 00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:11,250 May my chores complete me as I complete them.
- 00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:14,712 [Door closes]
- 00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:17,798 ♪♪
- 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:27,850 Morty.
- 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:28,726 Birdperson?
- 00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:29,809 You appear to be dying.
- 00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,228 I will make efforts to prevent this
- 00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:32,688 but can promise nothing.
- 00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:33,772 [Groans]
- 00:13:34,315 --> 00:13:36,317 [Mid-tempo music plays]
- 00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:41,047 Wh-what do you think, Ice? Probably a little overdeveloped.
- 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,866 Shit, overdeveloped, underdeveloped...
- 00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:45,242 A bad song's a bad song.
- 00:13:45,326 --> 00:13:46,785 Well, do you think, maybe...
- 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,054 Could you give me some help with it, or...?
- 00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:49,330 Aw, hell no, man.
- 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:51,248 You do your thing, but I can't afford to
- 00:13:51,332 --> 00:13:52,809 get my pride wrapped up in your shame.
- 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,168 You know what I'm saying?
- 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,188 Ice, I don't want to be a negative Nelly or anything,
- 00:13:56,212 --> 00:13:58,148 but [burps] if Morty doesn't come back with my portal gun
- 00:13:58,172 --> 00:13:59,632 and I eat it out there,
- 00:13:59,715 --> 00:14:01,592 it's, uh, you know, kind of your problem, too.
- 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,595 Pfft! I ain't worried about no Earth blowing up, man.
- 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:05,930 What? Why not?
- 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:08,849 Yo, this is why.
- 00:14:08,933 --> 00:14:10,976 What the fuck, you can turn into ice?
- 00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:13,270 My story begins at the dawn of time
- 00:14:13,354 --> 00:14:15,898 in the faraway realm of Alphabetrium.
- 00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:19,026 There, every being is a letter of the alphabet.
- 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:23,113 But I was frozen and exiled to the cosmos by my elders
- 00:14:23,197 --> 00:14:26,200 as punishment for not caring enough about anything.
- 00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:28,244 Earth is just one of my many stops
- 00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:31,080 on a lifelong journey with no destination.
- 00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,749 So you better believe I don't care if it blows up,
- 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,919 because I'll just be ice floating through space,
- 00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:38,629 like a comet.
- 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,752 Take it from me, Ice, [burps] you can't just [burps]
- 00:14:40,798 --> 00:14:43,133 Float around space not caring about stuff forever.
- 00:14:43,217 --> 00:14:44,969 Pfft. Man, watch me.
- 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,720 Good luck, Rick.
- 00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:52,101 Okay, things are getting out of hand.
- 00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:53,828 I better make sure Rick has everything he needs
- 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:54,979 to get schwifty.
- 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,814 Oh, for god's sakes. That's enough.
- 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,333 What the hell are you doing, Nathan?!
- 00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:00,776 I'm the goddamn President of the United fucking States!
- 00:15:00,859 --> 00:15:02,419 I'm setting the nuclear option to launch
- 00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:04,405 one minute into Earth's performance.
- 00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:07,157 And you, Mr. President...
- 00:15:07,241 --> 00:15:10,244 I hope you like being hit in the face with a gun.
- 00:15:10,327 --> 00:15:13,163 Wait, wait, wait. Why... why...
- 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,334 I believe I can access the history of Rick's gun
- 00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:18,836 and help you get back to him.
- 00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,105 But can you help me get to my family?
- 00:15:20,129 --> 00:15:21,255 You know, at... at my house?
- 00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:23,257 Is your intention to abandon Rick
- 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:24,883 using his own portal gun?
- 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:27,678 In Bird culture, this is considered a dick move.
- 00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,680 All of Rick's moves are dick moves!
- 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:30,973 What... What am I eating?
- 00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,433 Wh-what is this, bird... birdseed?
- 00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:34,977 It is random debris. I found it in my carpet.
- 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:36,437 I don't know what humans eat.
- 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,147 You know what this human eats.
- 00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:39,273 Don't be gross, Tammy.
- 00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:40,774 Bird dick.
- 00:15:40,858 --> 00:15:42,234 Tammy, gross.
- 00:15:42,318 --> 00:15:44,028 Birdperson, you always stick up for Rick,
- 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,155 but he doesn't care about anyone but himself.
- 00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:47,823 He doesn't think about the consequences
- 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,033 of anything he does.
- 00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,451 And as a result, he has the power
- 00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,995 to save or destroy entire worlds.
- 00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:55,289 And he is the reason you and I know each other...
- 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:58,000 and the reason I'm alive at all.
- 00:15:58,083 --> 00:15:59,084 ♪♪
- 00:16:01,170 --> 00:16:03,756 What's that? Who's that baby?
- 00:16:03,839 --> 00:16:06,175 Morty, suppose you could retrieve your family from Earth
- 00:16:06,258 --> 00:16:07,843 but had to abandon Rick.
- 00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:10,304 I could give your loved ones shelter on Birdworld,
- 00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:13,015 even jobs, possibly as worm ranchers.
- 00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:15,768 How often do you think you might look up at the stars
- 00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,353 and wonder what might have been
- 00:16:17,436 --> 00:16:19,521 had you just put your faith in Rick?
- 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,733 HEAD: <i>That was Chunkytunk with</i>
- 00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:25,110 <i>"Full Ming Mong, Empty Gorbdork."</i>
- 00:16:25,194 --> 00:16:27,196 <i>Up next, planet Earth!</i>
- 00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:28,989 Oh, god! We're up?!
- 00:16:29,073 --> 00:16:31,450 PRINCIPAL: Jerry and Beth, your family is a golden example
- 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,786 of what Headism has to offer the world.
- 00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:35,913 - The world? - Headism is a hit.
- 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,807 We're taking it worldwide, and we'd like Jerry to be
- 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:39,750 our church's <i>Head</i> of advertising.
- 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,210 You would?
- 00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:43,420 Beth, we'd like to promote you from horse surgeon
- 00:16:43,504 --> 00:16:46,382 straight past human surgeon to <i>Head</i> of medicine.
- 00:16:46,465 --> 00:16:47,925 That's my dream! That's my dream.
- 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,886 Thank you. This is all so overwhelming.
- 00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,262 But, uh...
- 00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:53,472 we can't. - Absolutely not.
- 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:54,555 I'm sorry?
- 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:56,392 We've been waiting 16 years
- 00:16:56,475 --> 00:16:58,143 for our daughter to respect us,
- 00:16:58,227 --> 00:17:00,896 but the key is, it has to be our daughter,
- 00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,898 not this person she's become.
- 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:05,192 We'll take our chances raising her
- 00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:06,777 without fancy new jobs,
- 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:09,071 outside of a potato-based religion.
- 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:12,282 And you know what? I-I'm sick of pretending that we're together
- 00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:14,243 because of the kids in the first place.
- 00:17:14,326 --> 00:17:17,496 I married you because you're the love of my life.
- 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:20,374 And I'm lucky to have you, and I never tell you that!
- 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:23,877 You know, we will come out of this stronger as a family.
- 00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:25,921 Please don't do this! Please don't do this!
- 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,006 - Summer! - Summer, listen carefully.
- 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,970 I stole a paper clip, and I have it in my cheek,
- 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,861 but I don't know what to do with it, and it hurts.
- 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:32,970 You're going to be okay.
- 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,388 You will come back as babies.
- 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:37,015 I <i>am</i> a baby! I'm a baby now!
- 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:38,100 Hello?
- 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,935 Is anybody here?
- 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,186 [Muffled shouting]
- 00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,397 Mr. President!
- 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,398 [Gasps]
- 00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:45,983 This is Bluebird!
- 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,276 Code Tango Niner Alpha!
- 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:49,445 Abort launch! Abort! Hello?
- 00:17:49,528 --> 00:17:50,821 He's blocked me out.
- 00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,144 Sir, I need to get to the stage
- 00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:53,449 and help Rick get Schwifty!
- 00:17:53,532 --> 00:17:55,218 It won't matter how Schwifty you get, Morty.
- 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:56,594 The General's got nukes set to launch
- 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,162 halfway through Earth's song!
- 00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:00,372 Oh, my god! Uh, c-can you fly a Black Hawk?
- 00:18:00,456 --> 00:18:02,458 Can the Pope's dick fit through a doughnut?
- 00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:04,501 Uh, I'm... not sure.
- 00:18:04,585 --> 00:18:06,253 Exactly.
- 00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:10,299 Show me what you got!
- 00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:12,968 - [Techno beat plays] - [clears throat]
- 00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:13,886 Uh...
- 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:15,596 ♪ Lapoo lapoo lapoo dops ♪
- 00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,431 ♪ Napoo napoo napoo nots ♪
- 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,975 Headward, free now to rise.
- 00:18:20,058 --> 00:18:21,351 Hey, look at the Heads!
- 00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:23,020 Looks like the Heads are getting angry!
- 00:18:23,979 --> 00:18:25,731 PRESIDENT: I'm really bad at this, Morty!
- 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:27,292 There are way too many buttons in this thing!
- 00:18:27,316 --> 00:18:29,443 Mr. President, if I've learned one thing today
- 00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:32,196 it's that sometimes you have to not give a fuck.
- 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,072 ♪ Napoo napoo nots ♪
- 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,532 Ugh. Tough crowd.
- 00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,201 I'm sure that has...
- 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,620 That has nothing to do with this.
- 00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:41,705 [Heads booing]
- 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,081 The Heads are displeased!
- 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:44,082 Summer!
- 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:45,083 Um...
- 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:47,169 [booing continues]
- 00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,004 Morty!
- 00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,214 HEADS: Hooray!
- 00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:51,465 Hooray! Look!
- 00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:52,633 Hooray!
- 00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:54,343 The Heads love this!
- 00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:56,845 They love it when we don't kill the Smith family!
- 00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:58,430 No! Stop that!
- 00:18:58,514 --> 00:19:00,808 You're not allowed to interpret the will of the Heads!
- 00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:03,644 Call off the nuclear strike! This is the President!
- 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:05,270 Stop the nuclear missile launch!
- 00:19:05,354 --> 00:19:06,980 Just launch the missiles!
- 00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:11,360 [Pbht! pbht!]
- 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,362 Boo! Not cool!
- 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:15,364 I'm the only one that speaks to the Heads!
- 00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:16,448 Disqualified!
- 00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:20,118 The Heads disqualified Vagina! Get him!
- 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,203 Disqualified!
- 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:22,621 Disqualified!
- 00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:26,291 ♪♪
- 00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:33,340 ALL: Ice-T?!
- 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,968 That's right. It's me... Ice-T.
- 00:19:36,051 --> 00:19:37,636 I care now.
- 00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:40,055 You made me care more.
- 00:19:40,138 --> 00:19:41,640 With all due respect,
- 00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:45,519 I'd like to hear what Rick and Morty have to play.
- 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:47,354 What do you say, Rick?
- 00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,940 I say, let's do it!
- 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,376 [Techno beat plays] - HEADS: Hooray!
- 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,401 Yeah.
- 00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,528 All right.
- 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,238 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ - Uh-huh.
- 00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:57,698 Here we go.
- 00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,324 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
- 00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:00,408 ♪ Say it with me ♪
- 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,619 ♪ Head bent over ♪
- 00:20:02,703 --> 00:20:04,538 ♪ Raised up posterior ♪
- 00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:05,539 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
- 00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,583 ♪ Head bent over ♪
- 00:20:07,666 --> 00:20:10,043 ♪ Yeah, raised up posterior ♪
- 00:20:10,127 --> 00:20:11,128 Sing it with me now!
- 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:13,672 Oh, my go...
- 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,382 ♪ Head bent over ♪
- 00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:16,465 Yeah.
- 00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:18,093 ♪ Raised up posterior ♪
- 00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:19,176 All right!
- 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,554 ♪ Head bent over ♪
- 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:24,975 Oh, yeah. Raised up posterior!
- 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,270 After 988 seasons of "Planet Music,"
- 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:32,566 the Cromulons have decided to declare Earth the final winner
- 00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:35,986 and bring our musical reality show to a conclusion.
- 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,070 Goodbye.
- 00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:38,614 [Pbht!]
- 00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:40,574 - Yeah! - We did it! Yes!
- 00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,534 Let's get a music album now!
- 00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:46,371 Did he just say "Musical Reality Show"?
- 00:20:46,455 --> 00:20:49,291 Yeah, it's possible that we may have been correlating
- 00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,752 some things that weren't actually related at all.
- 00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:52,836 Help!
- 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:54,588 We should go get him.
- 00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:56,298 [Cheers and applause]
- 00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:58,151 I hope I can call on you and Rick again if I need you, Morty.
- 00:20:58,175 --> 00:20:59,593 Sure thing. And I...
- 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:02,054 I was kind of hoping that I could get a selfie with you?
- 00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:04,389 Actually, if you try to tell anyone what happened here,
- 00:21:04,473 --> 00:21:06,433 we'll deny it and probably worse.
- 00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:07,516 Understood.
- 00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:08,644 D-I-i-i-i-ie!
- 00:21:08,727 --> 00:21:10,729 Oh, no, no, no!
- 00:21:10,812 --> 00:21:13,315 Why didn't <i>he</i> turn into a snake?
- 00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,733 Trade secret, Mr. President.
- 00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:16,526 Particle beam in a wristwatch,
- 00:21:16,610 --> 00:21:19,029 snake holster on the leg.
- 00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,822 [Snake hissing, rattling]
- 00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:22,866 [Whistles]
- 00:21:24,576 --> 00:21:25,577 [laughs]
- 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:29,706 I love this man!
- 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,793 ♪♪
- 00:22:04,116 --> 00:22:06,118 Magnesium-J, Hydrogen-F...
- 00:22:06,952 --> 00:22:07,953 Father.
- 00:22:08,370 --> 00:22:11,081 Word of your selfless acts on the Earth planet
- 00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:13,166 have traveled across the galaxy.
- 00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:14,584 I have changed.
- 00:22:14,668 --> 00:22:18,088 I am ready to rejoin my brethren on Alphabetrium.
- 00:22:18,171 --> 00:22:19,172 Very well.
- 00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:21,925 Your exile ends today.
- 00:22:24,428 --> 00:22:27,431 Welcome home, Water-T.
- 00:22:28,265 --> 00:22:29,433 [Explosion, rumbling]
- 00:22:29,516 --> 00:22:31,143 The Numbericons! They're attacking!
- 00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:32,853 Battle stations!
- 00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:33,937 Aah!
- 00:22:34,187 --> 00:22:35,105 Father!
- 00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:36,440 I love you, son.
- 00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:39,943 I should have never turned you to ice.
- 00:22:41,653 --> 00:22:43,697 Water-T, where are you going?!
- 00:22:43,780 --> 00:22:45,282 There's too many of them!
- 00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:48,118 Then I better crunch the numbers.
- 00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:51,079 - Aaaaaaaaaaaah! [gunfire]
- 00:22:53,999 --> 00:22:55,000 [Screaming]
- 00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:56,668 MAN: Did you get any of that?
- 00:22:56,752 --> 00:22:58,879 MAN: It's-a good show-a.
- 00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:15,940 Эй, гольф стал простым!
- 00:00:16,030 --> 00:00:19,239 Ааа! Гольф снова сложный! Гольф снова сложный!
- 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,610 Вид отсюда такой же как и у тебя, Джим.
- 00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:23,830 Огромная голова попала под действие земной гравитации,
- 00:00:23,870 --> 00:00:25,990 что привело к изменению климата и природным бедствиям,
- 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,940 которых мы не ждали по крайней мере ещё восемь лет.
- 00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:33,670 Башкастрофа?!
- 00:00:29,010 --> 00:00:30,540 Обойдёмся без политики, Терри.
- 00:00:30,610 --> 00:00:32,770 Знаем ли мы, что хочет эта огромная голова?
- 00:00:33,670 --> 00:00:34,775 Башкастрофа?!
- 00:00:34,776 --> 00:00:36,380 Покажите, что у вас есть.
- 00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:41,930 Джим, ты слышал... сказала... "Покажите, что у вас есть."
- 00:00:41,931 --> 00:00:46,310 Башкастрофа?!
- 00:00:42,020 --> 00:00:43,720 Покажите, что у вас есть.
- 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,890 Я хочу увидеть, что у вас есть.
- 00:00:45,970 --> 00:00:47,720 О, боже. Пора идти, Морти.
- 00:00:47,810 --> 00:00:48,810 Умм, куда?
- 00:00:48,860 --> 00:00:50,140 В Пентагон.
- 00:00:50,230 --> 00:00:51,890 То есть, не в <i>тот</i> Пентагон.
- 00:00:51,980 --> 00:00:53,860 А в отстойный, что на Земле.
- 00:00:53,930 --> 00:00:56,900 ♪
- 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:25,440 Перевод - savask, стили и тайминг - alexeymil0, английские субтитры - XhmikosR
- 00:01:25,660 --> 00:01:27,330 Это - Бог?
- 00:01:27,410 --> 00:01:28,960 Если это Бог, надо ли идти в школу?
- 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,660 Это не Бог, Саммер.
- 00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:32,970 Ей можно думать, что это Бог, если она хочет, дорогая.
- 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,800 Заткнись, Джерри.
- 00:01:33,690 --> 00:01:34,800 Ладно.
- 00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:37,640 Папа, что ты знаешь об этом?
- 00:01:37,670 --> 00:01:38,970 Морти и я разузнаем.
- 00:01:39,010 --> 00:01:40,060 А вы держитесь.
- 00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:45,350 Страшная штука, да? Довольно пугающая.
- 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,760 Привет. Я учитель математики Морти.
- 00:01:46,850 --> 00:01:48,980 Также я часть уличной команды по приглашению людей
- 00:01:49,020 --> 00:01:51,570 в церковь внизу, чтобы мы могли вместе помолиться.
- 00:01:51,650 --> 00:01:53,020 И как молитвы помогут?
- 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,440 Мадам, огромная голова в небесах контролирует погоду.
- 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:57,506 Вы что, хотели играть в шашки? Давайте будем рациональными!
- 00:01:57,530 --> 00:01:59,530 Увидимся в храме Господнем!
- 00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:05,600 Господа, господа! По одному! Саймон?
- 00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:07,900 SETI, NORAD и все сети радиовещания на планете
- 00:02:07,970 --> 00:02:10,340 пытаются показать этому созданию, что имеет человечество...
- 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,470 Теорию струн, мировую историю, геном человека...
- 00:02:12,540 --> 00:02:14,540 Пробовали послать им коды запуска?
- 00:02:14,630 --> 00:02:16,840 Мистер Президент, что есть у Америки,
- 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,550 так это 70000 мегатонн бах-бабаха,
- 00:02:19,630 --> 00:02:22,850 и я думаю, их нужно отправить прямо в задницу той летающей головы.
- 00:02:22,890 --> 00:02:24,130 Нет, позвольте мне сказать!
- 00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:25,440 Заткнись!
- 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,850 Стоять! Не двигаться!
- 00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:29,760 Отойдите назад! Эти часы превращают людей в змей!
- 00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:32,760 ♪
- 00:02:32,860 --> 00:02:34,030 Ох!
- 00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:36,150 Отступайте! Всем отступить!
- 00:02:36,230 --> 00:02:38,730 Я здесь главный, и я безоружен.
- 00:02:38,820 --> 00:02:41,370 Нет больше нужды в этих змеиных штучках.
- 00:02:41,450 --> 00:02:42,620 Меня зовут Рик Сэнчез.
- 00:02:42,740 --> 00:02:43,950 Это мой внук, Морти.
- 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,059 Привет, Морти.
- 00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:45,790 Здрасте.
- 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,716 Я достаточно повидал вселенную, чтобы понять, что тут у нас
- 00:02:47,740 --> 00:02:50,160 кромулон с пространства сигнус 5.
- 00:02:50,250 --> 00:02:53,080 Так что можете забыть о бомбах и математике.
- 00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:54,630 Эта голова не уйдёт
- 00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:56,670 пока Земля не покажет ей, что у неё есть...
- 00:02:56,750 --> 00:02:58,420 хитовая песня.
- 00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:00,000 Хит? Мы не можем...
- 00:03:00,090 --> 00:03:02,010 Как Вивальди?
- 00:03:01,030 --> 00:03:02,030 Нет, Фрейзер.
- 00:03:02,090 --> 00:03:05,560 Живое исполнение новой цепляющей оригинальной песни.
- 00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:07,150 Кромулонцы питаются талантом и зрелищами
- 00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:08,760 менее эволюционировавших форм жизни.
- 00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:10,570 Ясно, ясно. Спасибо, мистер Сэнчез.
- 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:11,770 Меняем план.
- 00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:15,940 Достаньте мне Фаррелла, Рэнди Ньюмана, Билли Коргана и The-Dream.
- 00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:17,490 The-Dream?
- 00:03:17,570 --> 00:03:19,130 Он написал "Umbrella" и "Single Ladies"?
- 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,940 Вы не слышали о The-Dream?
- 00:03:21,030 --> 00:03:22,990 Вам придётся поместить их у тех гигантских колонок
- 00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:25,030 на акустической площадке в зоне 51.
- 00:03:25,110 --> 00:03:26,450 Откуда ты знаешь?
- 00:03:26,530 --> 00:03:28,780 Ради Бога, Нэйтн, этот мужик превращает людей в змей.
- 00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:30,550 Он умеет пользоваться Google картами.
- 00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:32,226 Сэр, Фаррелл, Ньюман, Корган и тот парень-Dream...
- 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,309 Они все мертвы.
- 00:03:33,310 --> 00:03:34,020 Что?
- 00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:36,660 Как это возможно? Люди умирают как только я их называю?
- 00:03:36,730 --> 00:03:38,030 Грэмми, сэр.
- 00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:40,430 Там прошло землетрясение и... все музыканты,
- 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:42,930 все знаменитые... умерли.
- 00:03:43,030 --> 00:03:44,230 Боже правый.
- 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,230 Подождите, сэр. Минуту.
- 00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,070 Ice-T выжил.
- 00:03:47,140 --> 00:03:50,040 Он на борту F-15, ожидаемое время прибытия - два часа.
- 00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:51,670 Удачи, мистер президент.
- 00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:53,616 Сэр, магнитные полюса вот-вот поменяются местами.
- 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,786 Через два часа, возможно не будет Земли, чтобы спасать.
- 00:03:55,810 --> 00:03:57,980 Сэнчез? Ты - музыкант?
- 00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,810 Любитель, мистер президент.
- 00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:02,820 Доставьте этого мужчину и его внука в зону 51 на вертолёте.
- 00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:06,120 Люди! Все! Сохраняйте спокойствие!
- 00:04:06,210 --> 00:04:09,910 Любой кризис веры - это возможность для большей веры.
- 00:04:09,990 --> 00:04:12,740 Когда Бог сдаёт тебе 11, ты не сбрасываешь!
- 00:04:12,830 --> 00:04:13,960 Ты удваиваешь!
- 00:04:14,050 --> 00:04:15,910 И берёшь до 16-и.
- 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,550 Я имею ввиду вас, евреев.
- 00:04:17,670 --> 00:04:20,196 Пг'ошу пг'ощения, пастор, но последний г'аз как я выглядывал на улицу,
- 00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:23,000 было похоже, что вам досталась слабая г'ука.
- 00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:24,970 Евг'еи рулят!
- 00:04:25,010 --> 00:04:26,890 Никого? Ладно, упрямая церковь.
- 00:04:26,980 --> 00:04:28,230 Здравствуйте. Главная Вагина...
- 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,060 Имя настоящее, возможно скандинавское.
- 00:04:30,150 --> 00:04:31,730 Я просто выйду и сделаю посыл...
- 00:04:31,810 --> 00:04:33,060 Старые Боги умерли.
- 00:04:33,150 --> 00:04:35,650 В ****у все предыдущие религии.
- 00:04:35,740 --> 00:04:40,150 Славься настоящий Бог... Огромная голова в небесах.
- 00:04:40,190 --> 00:04:41,740 Божьи дети!
- 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:41,740 Ататата!
- 00:04:41,820 --> 00:04:43,070 Боб, Боб, я понимаю.
- 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,740 Но если <i>это</i> не может победить <i>то</i>,
- 00:04:45,830 --> 00:04:47,676 тогда что ты сделал для меня за последнее время?
- 00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:50,660 Так что, если вы меня извините, то я выйду на тротуар,
- 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,870 упаду на колени и отдам свою бессмертную душу
- 00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:55,620 штуке, которая буквально контролирует грёбанную погоду.
- 00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:57,090 Посторонитесь.
- 00:04:57,170 --> 00:04:58,540 Ладно.
- 00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:01,590 Если здравомыслие восторжествовало на этом собрании,
- 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:05,050 то я хотел бы поговорить о цене на починку нашего нового органа.
- 00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:06,710 Салли, тарелочку, пожалуйста.
- 00:05:06,770 --> 00:05:08,739 О! Это моя любимая часть!
- 00:05:08,740 --> 00:05:10,576 ПУСТЫНЯ НЕВАДА: ЗАКРЫТОЕ ВОЗДУШНОЕ ПРОСТРАНСТВО
- 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:11,909 Рик, а ты правда музыкант?
- 00:05:11,910 --> 00:05:13,720 Кто из нас не музыкант, Морти?
- 00:05:13,810 --> 00:05:15,690 Я!
- 00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:15,690 Да, с таким то отношением.
- 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,640 Мы в зоне спуска! Я ваш инструктор!
- 00:05:17,730 --> 00:05:19,230 Меня зовут Джейми... Через -йми!
- 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,640 Пошли, пошли, пошли!
- 00:05:20,730 --> 00:05:22,280 Н-но... У нас нет песни!
- 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,676 Огромная голова в небесах, пожалуйста прости нас за то, что мы сотворили.
- 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,650 Мы жалеем об нашем увеличившемся уровне выхлопов
- 00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:28,796 и о расизме и о, конечно, тех сообщениях о пропаже, приходящих на телефон,
- 00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:30,200 что я продолжаю игнорировать.
- 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,070 - Аааа! - Аааа!
- 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:36,130 Ладно, Морти. Давай по-давай сделаем это.
- 00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:38,056 Почему бы тебе, ээ, не найти какую-нибудь клавишу на одном из этих синтезаторов
- 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,320 и устроить какой-нибудь ритм?
- 00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:40,946 Рик, я думаю нам стоит предотвратить большие потери.
- 00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:42,650 З-заберём семью и портальную пушку отсюда!
- 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,090 Морти, хорошую музыку делают расслабленные люди.
- 00:05:45,140 --> 00:05:47,050 Просто жми клавишу, Морти! Задай мне ритм!
- 00:05:47,090 --> 00:05:48,720 О, Боже. Да. Ладно, эм...
- 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:55,030 ♪ О, да ♪
- 00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:57,300 ♪ Пора шизануться ♪
- 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,770 ♪ Пора шизануться тут ♪
- 00:06:00,850 --> 00:06:02,240 ♪ Пора шизануться ♪
- 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,650 ♪ У-о ♪
- 00:06:03,770 --> 00:06:06,190 "Шизануться"? Что это вообще значит?
- 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:09,110 Это лучшее усилие нашего мира. Вот так.
- 00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:10,940 ♪ Снимай штаны и трусишки ♪
- 00:06:11,030 --> 00:06:13,080 ♪ Наложи на пол ♪
- 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,250 ♪ Пора шизануться тут ♪
- 00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,670 ♪ Я - мистер Булдопс ♪
- 00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:19,290 "Мистер Булдопс"?
- 00:06:19,370 --> 00:06:20,846 Не анализируй это, Нэйтн. Это работает!
- 00:06:20,870 --> 00:06:22,620 ♪ Наложи на пол ♪
- 00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:24,790 ♪ Пора шизануться ♪
- 00:06:28,350 --> 00:06:32,180 ...а инвесторы третьего-уровня получат наш пропуск для всей семьи.
- 00:06:32,270 --> 00:06:34,130 Слушайте! Шторм прекращается!
- 00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:36,720 ♪ Эй, сними свои штаны ♪
- 00:06:36,810 --> 00:06:40,020 ♪ Сегодня время шизануться ♪
- 00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:41,730 Хмм.
- 00:06:42,810 --> 00:06:44,926 Пожалуйста, будь добра к нам, мы всего лишь крохотные создания
- 00:06:44,950 --> 00:06:46,980 с бренными телами, прикованными к твоей земле.
- 00:06:47,030 --> 00:06:51,950 Мне нравится, что у вас есть! Хорошая работа!
- 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,150 Да!
- 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,150 Ухуу!
- 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,240 Мы сделали это!
- 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:58,790 Знайте что? Он был прав!
- 00:06:58,830 --> 00:07:01,080 Ура, Главной Вагине! Да, соглашусь.
- 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,160 Погодите! Давайте будем рациональными.
- 00:07:05,220 --> 00:07:06,880 Нет, я... Я просто хочу сказать,
- 00:07:06,970 --> 00:07:09,090 мы не знаем, связаны ли эти события...
- 00:07:09,170 --> 00:07:10,750 О, Боже мой!
- 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:13,010 Что происходит?!
- 00:07:11,610 --> 00:07:13,010 Воу, воу!
- 00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:16,140 ♪
- 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,050 Какого чёрта, что случилось?
- 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:23,980 Мистер президент, вы должны взглянуть на это.
- 00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:26,220 Я думаю планету Земля только что транспортировали.
- 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,960 Голова ушла и прислала своих детей.
- 00:07:29,060 --> 00:07:30,740 Святые угодники!
- 00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:33,690 О, дорогая огромная голова, мы просим прощения за тот разговор.
- 00:07:33,780 --> 00:07:35,450 Это никогда не повторится.
- 00:07:35,530 --> 00:07:37,210 О, дорогая... О, дорогая огромная голова...
- 00:07:38,950 --> 00:07:41,000 Сэр, мы принимаем закодированный сигнал.
- 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,200 Мы расшифровываем его.
- 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:48,280 <i>Мы попросили их показать, что у них есть, и они сделали это.</i>
- 00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:51,300 <i>Теперь посмотрим у кого этого больше.</i>
- 00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:55,850 <i>24 часа, 5 планет, 5 песен.</i>
- 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,300 <i>Но в конце, останется только одна...</i>
- 00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:00,270 <i>Планетарная Музыка!</i>
- 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,890 <i>Участие обязательно.</i>
- 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:05,230 <i>Дисквалифицированные и проигравшие планеты дизинтегрируются плазменным лучом.</i>
- 00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:07,126 Ээ, наверное не время, чтобы упоминать об этом,
- 00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:10,310 но все ваши космонавты на орбите точно мертвы.
- 00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:14,630 Добро пожаловать назад, на "Планетарную Музыку"!
- 00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:16,380 Сначала, давайте послушаем последнюю песню
- 00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:19,800 с планеты Парблснопс: "Гриби Бобс"!
- 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,550 Покажите мне, что у вас есть!
- 00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:23,750 Подождите, подождите. Стоп.
- 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,300 Смысл музыки не в соревновании или неволе.
- 00:08:26,420 --> 00:08:28,470 Если ты любишь музыку, ты любишь свободу.
- 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,390 Освободите эти миры! Пожалуйста!
- 00:08:31,430 --> 00:08:33,180 Дисквалифицированы.
- 00:08:36,270 --> 00:08:38,680 Каждый сезон есть такие.
- 00:08:38,770 --> 00:08:41,770 Переходим к планете Арболес Ментиросос.
- 00:08:41,910 --> 00:08:46,440 Арбольцы Ментирососы, покажите, что у вас есть!
- 00:08:46,530 --> 00:08:48,190 А, 2, 3, 4!
- 00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:01,840 Рик, Морти, Ice-T, расписание сдвинулось.
- 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,460 Земля будет через шесть часов.
- 00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:05,680 Будто мы уже не под достаточным давлением?!
- 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,019 Воу, воу!
- 00:09:07,020 --> 00:09:07,630 Да!
- 00:09:07,710 --> 00:09:10,680 Боже, Морти, парень просто делает свою работу. Не заморачивайся.
- 00:09:10,770 --> 00:09:13,640 Рик, Ice-T, не могли бы вы меньше не заморачиваться?!
- 00:09:13,690 --> 00:09:15,690 У нас шесть часов, чтобы придумать песню!
- 00:09:15,810 --> 00:09:17,470 Гениальное приходит в процессе, Морти.
- 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:19,256 Ну, можем ли мы, по крайней мере, пойди забрать семью?
- 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:20,416 То есть, чтобы мы могли взять их...
- 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:21,860 С на... С нами, если мы проиграем?
- 00:09:21,950 --> 00:09:23,480 Это планирование на провал, Морти.
- 00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:24,930 Даже хуже, чем просто планирование.
- 00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:26,230 Яйца.
- 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,700 Морти, Морти, стоп. Слушай.
- 00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:29,426 В этой штуке осталось всего вот столько заряда.
- 00:09:29,450 --> 00:09:31,210 Если мы телепортируемся домой отсюда и назад,
- 00:09:31,290 --> 00:09:33,136 у нас не хватит заряда, чтобы покинуть этот мир.
- 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,210 Понял?
- 00:09:33,550 --> 00:09:34,210 Что?!
- 00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:35,490 Да. Видишь?
- 00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:38,130 Я пытаюсь уберечь тебя от некоторых реальностей, Морти.
- 00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,636 Потому что, если я позволю тебе заставить меня волноваться,
- 00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:41,210 я не смогу шизануться.
- 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,476 Хватит говорить, будто оно так и есть! Ты всё придумал!
- 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,880 Эй, Морти, можешь лизнуть мои...
- 00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:46,420 <i>Яйца, яйца...</i>
- 00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:48,170 Рик, вырежи это! Это не смешно, Рик!
- 00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:50,840 Я видел достаточно. Эти парни больше не выстрелят.
- 00:09:50,970 --> 00:09:52,260 И каков Ваш план, генерал?
- 00:09:52,340 --> 00:09:53,656 У нас всё ещё есть вариант с ядерными бомбами.
- 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,730 Даю слово, мы можем запустить по ракете
- 00:09:55,810 --> 00:09:57,930 в каждую из этих голов в небе.
- 00:09:58,010 --> 00:10:00,320 Наша планета взята в плен на шоу в прямом эфире,
- 00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,900 и Ваше решение стрелять по публике?
- 00:10:01,990 --> 00:10:04,246 Можете надеяться на бомбы, если мы пройдём через это, генерал.
- 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,910 А пока что, я буду надеяться на Рика и Морти.
- 00:10:06,990 --> 00:10:09,490 "Шизануться" было хитом.
- 00:10:09,580 --> 00:10:11,580 Алло? Да, сэр, да.
- 00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:13,190 Ээ, спасибо, сэр. Спасибо.
- 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,610 Он говорит, что он горд тем, что мы делаем
- 00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:19,330 и надеется, что у нас будет отличный фестиваль вознесения!
- 00:10:19,420 --> 00:10:20,429 Счастливого вознесения!
- 00:10:20,430 --> 00:10:21,670 Счастливого вознесения!
- 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,686 Мы должны собраться и покинуть город прямо сейчас.
- 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:26,510 По моему, это так вдохновляет, что наше общество справляется со страхом
- 00:10:26,540 --> 00:10:28,906 способом, который включает в себя фестиваль и домашнее мороженое.
- 00:10:28,930 --> 00:10:31,260 Если ты перестанешь быть такой ярой атеисткой,
- 00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:33,180 возможно ты начнёшь получать удовольствие.
- 00:10:33,270 --> 00:10:34,770 Вау! Взгляни на себя!
- 00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:36,380 У тебя эта шляпа и все дела!
- 00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,720 Вот ваши!
- 00:10:37,850 --> 00:10:39,890 Мам, ничего, если сегодня я приготовлю ужин?
- 00:10:39,970 --> 00:10:41,890 Да, конечно. Погоди, что?
- 00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:44,730 Я люблю вас. Вы дали мне жизнь.
- 00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:46,390 А по воле многих голов,
- 00:10:46,450 --> 00:10:48,560 все дети должны чтить своих родителей.
- 00:10:48,620 --> 00:10:49,900 Обед звучит здорово.
- 00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:51,460 Прошу прощения, мистер и миссис Смит.
- 00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:53,400 Саммер, ты идёшь на вознесение?
- 00:10:53,450 --> 00:10:55,740 Отец, можно ли нам пойти на вознесение?
- 00:10:55,790 --> 00:10:57,570 Конечно! Идёмте на вознесение.
- 00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:58,820 Ч-ч-что это?
- 00:10:58,910 --> 00:11:00,960 Таким образом, мы посылаем этих еретиков в небеса,
- 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,610 чтобы их, возможно, вдохнули головы
- 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:08,809 Вор
- 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,225 Гот
- 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:06,780 и потом высморкали назад в виде хороших детей.
- 00:11:06,226 --> 00:11:08,810 Разгова- ривает в кино- театре
- 00:11:06,850 --> 00:11:08,980 К истокам, будь свободен вознестись.
- 00:11:08,810 --> 00:11:08,810 Вор
- 00:11:09,050 --> 00:11:10,990 К истокам, будь свободен вознестись.
- 00:11:11,050 --> 00:11:12,490 К истокам, будь свободен вознестись.
- 00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:15,260 О, да! Да! Вознесись к огромной голове!
- 00:11:15,310 --> 00:11:16,890 Вы свободны быть свободными!
- 00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:18,930 Мойщик выходит из гаража, да?
- 00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:20,650 А у него омар в одной руке,
- 00:11:20,730 --> 00:11:22,890 билеты в кино в другой, и он такой: "Я готов!"
- 00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:25,746 Нужен омар, чтобы пойти на "Железного человека 3"?
- 00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:27,650 Ice-T!
- 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:28,900 Аа, чёрт.
- 00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:30,940 У нас закончились печенюшки с особым вкусом.
- 00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:32,410 Всё равно мне пора.
- 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:33,756 Подожди, подожди, подожди! Л-ладно тебе.
- 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,780 Пару секунд. Сейчас.
- 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,500 Что?!
- 00:11:38,670 --> 00:11:39,500 Ё моё.
- 00:11:39,580 --> 00:11:41,726 Ты не рассказывал, что ты мутишь штуки с порталами и всем таким.
- 00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:42,870 Всё!
- 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,340 Воу, воу, Морти! Отдай мне это.
- 00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:45,500 Ты врал! Ты врал про заряд!
- 00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:46,960 Тебе просто было лень!
- 00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,010 Отойди! Сядь!
- 00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:49,370 Морти, просто положи это.
- 00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:50,760 Ты не знаешь, что ты творишь.
- 00:11:50,790 --> 00:11:52,540 Я собираюсь найти маму с папой!
- 00:11:52,630 --> 00:11:53,550 Нет!
- 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:54,550 Оу, чёрт!
- 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:56,010 Оу, чёрт.
- 00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:58,800 ♪
- 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,510 Оу, чёрт.
- 00:12:09,580 --> 00:12:11,450 А потом Итн сыграл на гитаре, и мы разучили
- 00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:14,030 семь размышлений головы, распевая их.
- 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,980 Было весело.
- 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,400 Слава голове!
- 00:12:17,490 --> 00:12:18,595 Слава..
- 00:12:18,596 --> 00:12:19,700 Слава..
- 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:19,710 Да.
- 00:12:19,790 --> 00:12:21,660 Ей, народ. Это поп Вагина.
- 00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:23,540 Спасибо за выращивание всего этого картофеля.
- 00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:25,136 Сейчас шесть вечера, так что если вы родитель,
- 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,800 вам даётся право на обожание со стороны ваших детей.
- 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,460 Я начну готовить ужин!
- 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:32,750 Не знаю, что и сказать. Саммер хорошо сюда вписывается.
- 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,640 Она получила высший балл на всех тестах в картофельном классе,
- 00:12:35,670 --> 00:12:37,760 и посмотри, каким важным стал картофель.
- 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,560 Она не беременеет, не колется и не нарушает комендантский час.
- 00:12:41,650 --> 00:12:43,706 Пожалуйста, спасите меня. Вы сможете достать, если попытаетесь.
- 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,100 Пожалуйста, спасите меня!
- 00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:47,350 Это не наше дело, пока Саммер цветёт.
- 00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:49,070 Время тако!
- 00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:51,520 Надеюсь это порадует вас, как того хочет голова.
- 00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:53,100 Это замечательно, Саммер.
- 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:54,820 Мы так гордимся тобой.
- 00:12:54,910 --> 00:12:57,410 Но, естественно, тебе не нужно делать ужин каждый вечер.
- 00:12:57,490 --> 00:12:59,830 Конечно нужно, глупенький!
- 00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:02,780 О, Боже, папочка! Извини, что назвала тебя глупеньким!
- 00:13:02,870 --> 00:13:04,450 Мне так жаль!
- 00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:06,010 Божественные головы и череп-создатель,
- 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,540 простите мой проступок по отношению к родителям и сообществу.
- 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:11,440 Пусть работа исправит меня, как я справлюсь с ней.
- 00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:17,550 ♪
- 00:13:25,890 --> 00:13:27,489 Морти.
- 00:13:27,490 --> 00:13:28,110 Птицечеловек?
- 00:13:28,190 --> 00:13:29,560 Похоже, что ты умираешь.
- 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,530 Я попытаюсь предотвратить это, но не могу ничего обещать.
- 00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:40,796 К-как ты думаешь, Ice? Наверное немного перестарался.
- 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,620 Тьфу, перестарался, недостарался...
- 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:45,070 Плохая песня - это плохая песня.
- 00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:46,570 Ну, как ты думаешь, может...
- 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:47,856 Мог бы ты помочь с этим, или...?
- 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:49,080 Аа, ни за что, чувак.
- 00:13:49,210 --> 00:13:51,080 Делай, что делаешь, но я не могу позволить себе
- 00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:52,580 покрыть свою гордость твоим позором.
- 00:13:52,630 --> 00:13:54,000 Понимаешь?
- 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:55,920 Ice, не хочу быть пессимистом,
- 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,026 но если Морти не вернётся назад с моей портальной пушкой
- 00:13:58,050 --> 00:13:59,500 и я провалюсь на сцене,
- 00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:01,420 то это, ээ, знаешь, будет и твоей проблемой.
- 00:14:01,510 --> 00:14:04,430 Пфф! Я не волнуюсь, что Земля взорвётся, чувак.
- 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:05,730 Что? Почему?
- 00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:08,600 Йо, вот по этому.
- 00:14:08,730 --> 00:14:10,770 Какого лешего, ты можешь превращаться в лёд?
- 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,100 Моя история берёт начало на заре времени
- 00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:15,740 в далёком царстве алфвавитии.
- 00:14:15,770 --> 00:14:18,820 Там каждое существо - буква в алфавите.
- 00:14:18,910 --> 00:14:22,940 Но я был заморожен и изгнан в космос старейшинами
- 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:26,030 в наказание за то, что мне на всё пофигу.
- 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,080 Земля просто одна из моих многочисленных пристанищ
- 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,870 в бесцельном путешествии длинною в жизнь.
- 00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:33,590 Так что лучше поверь, что мне без разницы, если Земля взорвётся,
- 00:14:33,620 --> 00:14:36,670 потому, что я просто буду льдом, летящим сквозь пространство,
- 00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:38,460 словно комета.
- 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,550 Поверь мне, Ice ты не можешь просто
- 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,960 летать в космосе как комета вечно не заботясь ни о чём.
- 00:14:43,020 --> 00:14:44,800 Пфф. Смотри, чувак.
- 00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:46,470 Удачи, Рик.
- 00:14:50,270 --> 00:14:51,890 Ладно, ситуация выходит из под контроля.
- 00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:54,810 Лучше проверю, что у Рика есть всё чтобы шизануться.
- 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,690 О, ради Бога. Достаточно.
- 00:14:56,780 --> 00:14:58,150 Что ты творишь, Нейтн?!
- 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,650 Я чёртов президент грёбанных Соединённых Штатов Америки!
- 00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:02,296 Я устанавливаю ядерные боеголовки на запуск
- 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,200 на одну минуту с начала выступления Земли.
- 00:15:04,290 --> 00:15:06,950 А Вы, мистер президент...
- 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,040 Надеюсь Вам нравится получать по лицу пушкой.
- 00:15:10,130 --> 00:15:12,910 Подожди, подожди, подожди. Почему... почему...
- 00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:17,170 Я думаю, я смогу получить доступ к памяти в пушке Рика
- 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,630 и вернуть тебя к нему.
- 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:19,896 А не можешь ли ты помочь мне попасть к семье?
- 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,090 Знаешь, д-домой?
- 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:24,670 Ты намереваешься бросить Рика используя его портальную пушку?
- 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,510 В птичей культуре это расценивается как поганый поступок.
- 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,510 Все поступки Рика - поганые!
- 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:30,730 Что... Что я ем?
- 00:15:30,810 --> 00:15:32,260 Чт-что это, птичий... птичий корм?
- 00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:34,770 Это просто мусор, что я нашёл под ковром.
- 00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:36,270 Я не знаю, что едят люди.
- 00:15:36,350 --> 00:15:37,829 Ты знаешь, что ест твой человек.
- 00:15:37,830 --> 00:15:39,020 Не вульгарничай, Тэмми.
- 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:40,570 Птичий **ен.
- 00:15:40,660 --> 00:15:42,020 Тэмми, пошло.
- 00:15:42,110 --> 00:15:43,860 Птицечеловек, ты всегда поддерживаешь Рика,
- 00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,940 но он не беспокоится ни о ком, кроме себя.
- 00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:48,860 Он не думает о последствиях того, что делает.
- 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:52,780 И как результат, у него есть мощь, чтобы спасать или уничтожать целые миры.
- 00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:55,090 И он - причина того, что мы знакомы...
- 00:15:55,170 --> 00:15:57,870 И причина того, что я вообще жив.
- 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,880 ♪
- 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,590 Кто это? Кто этот ребёнок?
- 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,010 Морти, допустим ты можешь спасти свою семью с Земли,
- 00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:07,630 но оставить Рика.
- 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,100 Я могу дать твоим любимым кров в птичем мире,
- 00:16:10,190 --> 00:16:12,770 даже работу, скорее всего на ранчо червей.
- 00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:15,610 Как часто, по твоему, ты будешь смотреть на звёзды
- 00:16:15,690 --> 00:16:17,140 и думать, что бы было,
- 00:16:17,230 --> 00:16:19,280 если бы ты поверил в Рика?
- 00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:22,560 <i>Это были Чанкитанк с</i>
- 00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:24,900 <i>"Полный Минг Монг Пустой Горбдорк"</i>
- 00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:26,980 <i>Дальше выступает планета Земля!</i>
- 00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:28,800 О, боже! Мы в эфире?!
- 00:16:28,870 --> 00:16:31,240 Джерри и Бетт, ваша семья - золотой пример того,
- 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,620 что может головопоклонение дать миру.
- 00:16:33,710 --> 00:16:35,710 Миру?
- 00:16:34,550 --> 00:16:35,710 Головопоклонение - хит.
- 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:37,606 Мы собираемся расширятся на весь мир, и мы хотим, чтобы Джерри был
- 00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:39,580 <i>главой</i> рекламы нашей церкви.
- 00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:41,000 Правда?
- 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,276 Бетт, мы хотим продвинуть тебя с должности хирурга для лошадей
- 00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:46,220 до <i>главы</i> медицины, пропуская должность хирурга для людей.
- 00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:47,760 Это моя мечта! Это моя мечта.
- 00:16:47,810 --> 00:16:50,680 Спасибо. Это всё так невероятно.
- 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,090 Но, ээ...
- 00:16:52,150 --> 00:16:53,270 - Абсолютно. - Мы не можем.
- 00:16:53,350 --> 00:16:54,350 Простите?
- 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:58,020 Мы ждали 16 лет, чтобы дочь зауважала нас,
- 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,770 но загвоздка в том, что это должна быть наша дочь,
- 00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:02,690 а не тот человек, кем она стала.
- 00:17:02,770 --> 00:17:06,610 Мы воспользуемся возможностью воспитать её без новых причудливых работ,
- 00:17:06,690 --> 00:17:08,860 вне картофельной религии.
- 00:17:08,950 --> 00:17:09,840 И знайте что?
- 00:17:09,860 --> 00:17:12,140 М-меня уже тошнит претворяться, что дети -
- 00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:14,080 это главное, из-за чего мы вместе.
- 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,290 Я женился на тебе потому, что ты - любовь всей моей жизни.
- 00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:20,170 Мне повезло, что ты у меня есть, а я никогда не говорю это!
- 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:23,670 Знаешь, мы после этого всего мы станем более крепкой семьёй.
- 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,776 Пожалуйста, не делай этого! Пожалуйста, не делай этого!
- 00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,800 Саммер!
- 00:17:26,690 --> 00:17:27,850 Саммер, послушай внимательно.
- 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,800 Я украл скрепку, и держу её за щекой,
- 00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:31,630 но не знаю, что с ней делать, а это больно.
- 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,220 С вами всё будет в порядке. Вы вернётесь в виде детей.
- 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:36,800 Я - ребёнок! Сейчас, я - ребёнок!
- 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,310 Привет?
- 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,770 Есть кто-нибудь?
- 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,140 Мистер президент!
- 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,810 Это сиалия!
- 00:17:45,870 --> 00:17:46,172 - Код Т9A!
- 00:17:46,184 --> 00:17:47,126 <i>- (Прим. пер.: он использует фонетический алфавит НАТО)</i>
- 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:49,280 Отменить запуск! Отмена! Алло?
- 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:50,620 Он заблокировал меня.
- 00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:53,290 Сэр, мне надо выйти на сцену и помочь Рику шизануться!
- 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,000 Без разницы, насколько ты шизанёшся, Морти.
- 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,990 Генерал установил ракеты на запуск на середине песни Земли!
- 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,240 О, Боже мой! Эм, Вы умейте пилотировать вертолёт?
- 00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,300 А может **й попа пройти через дырку от бублика?
- 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:04,300 Ээ, я... не уверен.
- 00:18:04,380 --> 00:18:05,880 Именно.
- 00:18:05,970 --> 00:18:09,970 Покажите, что у вас есть!
- 00:18:11,390 --> 00:18:13,060 Ээ...
- 00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:14,890 ♪ Лэпу лэпу лэпу допс ♪
- 00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:16,840 ♪ Нэпу нэпу нэпу нотс ♪
- 00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:19,350 К истокам, будь свободен вознестись.
- 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,880 Эй, посмотрите на головы!
- 00:18:20,980 --> 00:18:22,880 Похоже, что они злятся!
- 00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:25,070 У меня совсем не получается, Морти!
- 00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:27,020 Здесь слишком много кнопок!
- 00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:29,240 Мистер президент, если я что-то и уяснил за сегодня,
- 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:31,990 так это то, что иногда должно быть пофигу!
- 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,860 ♪ Нэпу нэпу нотс ♪
- 00:18:33,950 --> 00:18:35,360 Ух. Тяжёлая публика.
- 00:18:35,420 --> 00:18:37,030 Я уверен, тут...
- 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,370 Тут нет никакой связи.
- 00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:42,870 Головы сердятся!
- 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:43,870 Саммер!
- 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:44,960 Эм...
- 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:48,790 Морти!
- 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,040 Ура!
- 00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:51,210 Ура! Смотрите!
- 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:52,430 Ура!
- 00:18:52,550 --> 00:18:54,180 Головам это нравится!
- 00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,720 Им нравится, когда мы не убиваем семью Смитов!
- 00:18:56,790 --> 00:18:58,270 Нет! Прекратите!
- 00:18:58,390 --> 00:19:00,720 Вам не позволено трактовать волю голов!
- 00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:03,470 Отменить ядерный удар! Это президент!
- 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,090 Остановить запуск ядерных ракет!
- 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,790 Просто запускай ракеты!
- 00:19:11,230 --> 00:19:13,150 Ууу! Не клёво!
- 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,200 Я единственный, кто говорит с головами!
- 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,450 Дисквалифицированы!
- 00:19:16,570 --> 00:19:19,910 Головы дисквалифицировали Вагину! Ловите его!
- 00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:21,380 Дисквалифицированы!
- 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,040 Дисквалифицированы!
- 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:26,080 ♪
- 00:19:32,090 --> 00:19:33,140 Ice-T?!
- 00:19:33,220 --> 00:19:35,760 Правильно. Это я - Ice-T.
- 00:19:35,890 --> 00:19:39,890 Мне теперь не безразлично. Ты сделал меня более отзывчивым.
- 00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:41,430 Со всем должным уважением,
- 00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:45,350 я хочу услышать, что споют Рик и Морти.
- 00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,100 Что скажешь, Рик?
- 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:49,770 Я скажу, сделаем это!
- 00:19:49,860 --> 00:19:51,110 Ура!
- 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,490 Да.
- 00:19:52,580 --> 00:19:54,360 Ладно.
- 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,030 - Ага. - ♪ О, да ♪
- 00:19:56,110 --> 00:19:57,500 Вот так вот.
- 00:19:57,610 --> 00:19:59,110 ♪ О, да ♪
- 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,110 ♪ Повторяйте за мной ♪
- 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,420 ♪ Голова наклонена ♪
- 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,370 ♪ Зад к верху ♪
- 00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:05,340 ♪ О, да ♪
- 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:07,420 ♪ Голова наклонена ♪
- 00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:09,870 ♪ Да, зад к верху ♪
- 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:10,960 Давайте со мной!
- 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,460 О, Боже мо...
- 00:20:13,550 --> 00:20:15,130 ♪ Голова наклонена ♪
- 00:20:15,260 --> 00:20:16,260 Да.
- 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:17,880 ♪ Зад к верху ♪
- 00:20:17,970 --> 00:20:18,970 Да!
- 00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:20,380 ♪ Голова наклонена ♪
- 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:24,810 О, да. Зад к верху!
- 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:28,110 После 988-и сезонов "Планетарной Музыки"
- 00:20:28,140 --> 00:20:32,310 кромулонцы решили объявить Землю окончательным победителем
- 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,820 и завершить наше музыкальное реалити-шоу.
- 00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,320 Пока.
- 00:20:38,990 --> 00:20:40,320 Да! Мы сделали это! Да!
- 00:20:40,460 --> 00:20:42,320 Давайте теперь запишем альбом!
- 00:20:42,410 --> 00:20:46,160 Он сейчас сказал: "музыкальное реалити-шоу"?
- 00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:49,100 Да, возможно мы связывали
- 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,570 некоторые совсем не связанные вещи.
- 00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:53,170 Помогите!
- 00:20:53,220 --> 00:20:54,580 Так что, нам придётся достать его.
- 00:20:56,170 --> 00:20:58,036 Надеюсь я могу опять позвать тебя и Рика, если я буду нуждаться в вас, Морти.
- 00:20:58,060 --> 00:20:59,470 Без проблем. А я...
- 00:20:59,510 --> 00:21:01,840 Я вроде надеялся, что я смогу сделать селфи с вами.
- 00:21:01,930 --> 00:21:04,236 Вообще, если ты попытаешься рассказать кому-нибудь о том, что здесь произошло,
- 00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:06,296 мы будем отрицать это и возможно сделаем кое-что похуже.
- 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,320 Понял.
- 00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:08,480 Умри-и-и-и!
- 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:10,520 Оу, нет, нет, нет!
- 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,100 Почему <i>он</i> не превратился в змею?
- 00:21:13,190 --> 00:21:14,520 Секрет фирмы, мистер президент.
- 00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:18,830 Луч из частиц в наручных часах, кобура со змеёй на ноге.
- 00:21:27,950 --> 00:21:29,540 Мне нравится этот парень!
- 00:21:29,590 --> 00:21:32,540 ♪
- 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:06,540 Магний-J, Водород-F..
- 00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:08,080 Отец.
- 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,910 Молва о твоём самоотверженном поступке на планете Земля
- 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,010 пересекла галактику.
- 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,380 Я изменился.
- 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,950 Я готов воссоединиться со своими собратьями в алфавитии.
- 00:22:18,020 --> 00:22:19,020 Очень хорошо.
- 00:22:19,090 --> 00:22:21,760 Твоё изгнание заканчивается сейчас.
- 00:22:24,230 --> 00:22:28,010 Добро пожаловать домой, Вода-T.
- 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,930 Числовики! Они атакуют!
- 00:22:31,070 --> 00:22:32,630 Боевые позиции!
- 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:33,900 Ааа!
- 00:22:33,990 --> 00:22:34,900 Отец!
- 00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:36,270 Я люблю тебя, сын.
- 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:40,070 Я не должен был превращать тебя в лёд.
- 00:22:40,510 --> 00:22:43,160 Вода-T, куда ты идёшь?!
- 00:22:43,250 --> 00:22:44,950 Их слишком много!
- 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,360 Тогда я лучше сведу счёты.
- 00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:50,580 Аааааааа!
- 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,115 ЧИСЛОВИКОВ
- 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,510 <i>Этим Летом</i>
- 00:22:52,116 --> 00:22:53,510 ВОДА-T И ВОССТАНИЕ
- 00:22:55,010 --> 00:22:56,469 Ты что-нибудь понял?
- 00:22:56,470 --> 00:22:58,520 Это хорошее шоу!