Продолжить с 00:00?
Серия закончилась
Наверное, Рики сошли с ума
Во время путешествия в другое измерение Рик, Морти и Саммер обнаруживают, что автомобильный аккумулятор Рика неисправен. Рик берёт Морти внутрь аккумулятора, чтобы починить его, и оставляет Саммер ждать в машине, давая ей указание: «Охранять Саммер». Морти обнаруживает, что автомобильный аккумулятор на самом деле является «микровселенной», содержащей целую вселенную, обеспечивающую питание автомобиля. Рик дал разумным существам технологию «губл коробки» для вырабатывания электроэнергии, но без их ведома он забирает большую часть вырабатываемой энергии. Это заставляет Морти сомневаться в этичности Рика. Рик и Морти обнаруживают, что учёный и житель микровселенной по имени Зип Ксанфлорп создал свою собственную «мини-вселенную», которая делает губл коробки устаревшими. Рик, Морти и Зип входят в мини-вселенную и обнаруживают, что Кайл, учёный, живущий в аккумуляторе Зипа, также работает над своей собственной «кроха-вселенной», в которую входят Морти и трое учёных. Как только Зип и Кайл обнаруживают, что они рабы, рождённые для вырабатывания электричества, Зип в ярости нападает на Рика. Во время борьбы Кайл совершает самоубийство на своём корабле, оставив Рика, Морти и Зипа в кроха-вселенной. Несколько месяцев спустя (в кроха-вселенной) Морти заставляет Рика и Зипа отложить в сторону свои разногласия и создать способ вернуться в мир Зипа. Однако, когда они возвращаются, Зип пытается убить Рика и Морти, но Рик уничтожает мини-вселенную Зипа, и после драки Рик в конечном итоге побеждает его. Рик и Морти благополучно возвращаются в свою вселенную, в то время как Зип понимает, что он должен прекратить свои эксперименты с технологией мини-вселенной и вернуться к губл коробкам, иначе Рик выбросит аккумулятор и разрушит его мир. Между тем, машина Рика, использует экстремальную оборонительную тактику, в том числе разрезание человека, паралич и психологическую пытку, чтобы уберечь Саммер от различных нападавших. В то время как испуганная Саммер пытается остановить машину, чтобы никому не причинить вреда, между припаркованной машиной и полицией с военными происходит противостояние. По требованию Саммер автомобиль избегает физического и психологического насилия и вместо этого избегает ситуации, создав мирный договор между двумя враждующими фракциями планеты, людьми и телепатическими гигантскими пауками, в обмен на безопасность. Выбравшись из аккумулятора Рик и Морти, вместе с Саммер идут в магазин мороженого на той же планете. Рик жалуется, что в его мороженом полно мух, на что официантка отвечает, что в результате договора мороженое теперь для всех, вне зависимости от количества ног. Рик обвиняет Саммер и ругает её за испорченное мороженое. В сцене после титров, в школе, Морти внезапно превращается в машину.
- 00:00:02,545 --> 00:00:04,231 Geez, I can't believe we found a version of Earth
- 00:00:04,255 --> 00:00:06,508 with a "Ball Fondlers" movie franchise.
- 00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:09,636 I can't believe the things this reality considers PG-13.
- 00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:12,389 - Yeah, I-I'm pretty jealous. - Don't be, Morty.
- 00:00:12,472 --> 00:00:15,308 There's pros and cons to every alternate timeline.
- 00:00:15,392 --> 00:00:16,559 Fun facts about this one...
- 00:00:16,643 --> 00:00:18,061 It's got giant, telepathic spiders,
- 00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:19,396 11 9/11s,
- 00:00:19,479 --> 00:00:21,481 and the best ice cream in the multiverse!
- 00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,149 - Shut up! - Whoa!
- 00:00:23,233 --> 00:00:25,694 We're gonna go get some ice cream, motherfucker!
- 00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:29,030 Oh, great.
- 00:00:29,114 --> 00:00:30,782 Oh, boy. W-What's wrong, Rick?
- 00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,505 Is it the quantum carburetor or something?
- 00:00:32,534 --> 00:00:34,536 "Quantum carburetor"? Jesus, Morty.
- 00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:36,538 You can't just add a s... sci-fi word
- 00:00:36,621 --> 00:00:38,540 to a car word and hope it means something.
- 00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:41,042 Looks like something's wrong with the microverse battery.
- 00:00:41,126 --> 00:00:42,669 We're gonna have to go inside.
- 00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,295 Um, go inside what?
- 00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:46,172 The battery, Morty. Be right back, Summer.
- 00:00:46,256 --> 00:00:47,674 Stay put, don't touch any buttons,
- 00:00:47,757 --> 00:00:50,677 and ignore all random thoughts that feel... spidery.
- 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,345 Wait! You can't leave me here!
- 00:00:52,429 --> 00:00:53,638 You'll be fine.
- 00:00:53,722 --> 00:00:55,223 Ship, keep Summer safe.
- 00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:57,392 <i>Keep Summer safe.</i>
- 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,018 Ohh!
- 00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,855 Ugh. Wonderful.
- 00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:08,278 Hey, excuse me. Hello.
- 00:01:08,361 --> 00:01:10,321 Um...
- 00:01:10,405 --> 00:01:12,323 What, you think you're better than me?!
- 00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,409 Nobody's better than me!
- 00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:15,660 Hey! Hey!
- 00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,750 Aah! Aaaaah!
- 00:01:21,833 --> 00:01:23,585 <i>- Keep Summer safe.</i> - Aaaaaaah!
- 00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:24,794 Hey, man, what the hell?!
- 00:01:24,878 --> 00:01:26,588 That was my daughter's pediatrician! Aah!
- 00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:28,381 No, stop! Don't kill him!
- 00:01:28,465 --> 00:01:29,716 <i>Confirmed.</i>
- 00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:31,259 Aah!
- 00:01:32,469 --> 00:01:34,137 Oh, god. I can't feel my legs.
- 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:35,388 Help! Help!!
- 00:01:35,472 --> 00:01:36,723 <i>Summer is safe.</i>
- 00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:38,725 I don't feel safe.
- 00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:40,202 <i>Confirmed.</i>
- 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:42,187 No.
- 00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:43,730 Oh, god, help me. Help me!
- 00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,857 Help me, please! You can help me!
- 00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:48,818 ♪♪
- 00:02:19,265 --> 00:02:21,059 Oh, man. Where are we, Rick?
- 00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:23,186 Morty, remember eight seconds ago when... you said,
- 00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:25,730 "go inside what?" And I said, "the battery"?
- 00:02:25,814 --> 00:02:27,454 Then we showed up here, and I wasn't like,
- 00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:28,733 "Whoa, this is unexpected.
- 00:02:28,817 --> 00:02:30,401 This is not what I was expecting, Morty.
- 00:02:30,485 --> 00:02:32,070 What a perplexing mystery this is."
- 00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,714 All right, all right, we're inside the battery.
- 00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,406 I get it. You don't have to bust my balls.
- 00:02:35,490 --> 00:02:37,510 Huh, this isn't right. This pipe's supposed to be...
- 00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:40,495 sending 20 terawatts of juice up to the engine, Morty.
- 00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:42,338 Instead we've got... zero?
- 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:43,693 Now what are these people doing?
- 00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:45,917 W-W-W-Whoa, people?
- 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,640 It's time for some hands-on engine repair.
- 00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:49,295 All right, Morty, hold on to something.
- 00:02:49,379 --> 00:02:50,421 Whoa!
- 00:02:52,841 --> 00:02:54,217 Holy crap!
- 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,219 I thought we were inside your car battery, Rick.
- 00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,888 T-T-This is like a whole p-planet or something.
- 00:02:58,972 --> 00:03:00,852 Thanks, Morty. I'm pretty proud of this bad boy.
- 00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:02,350 Check it out.
- 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,394 I put a spatially tessellated void
- 00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:06,354 inside a modified temporal field
- 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,606 until a planet developed intelligent life.
- 00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:11,276 I then introduced that life to the wonders of electricity,
- 00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,611 which they now generate on a global scale.
- 00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:15,506 And, you know, some of it goes to power my engine
- 00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:17,115 and charge my phone and stuff.
- 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,284 You have a whole planet making your power for you?
- 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,452 That's slavery. - It's society.
- 00:03:21,536 --> 00:03:22,871 They work for each other, Morty.
- 00:03:22,954 --> 00:03:24,539 They pay each other. They buy houses.
- 00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:26,100 They get married and make children that replace them
- 00:03:26,124 --> 00:03:27,834 when they get too old to make power.
- 00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:30,044 That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.
- 00:03:30,128 --> 00:03:33,047 Ooh la la, someone's gonna get laid in college.
- 00:03:33,131 --> 00:03:35,049 It appears we are being revisited
- 00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:37,886 by the alien known as Rick, who once gave our world
- 00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:40,263 the gift of gooble box technology,
- 00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:42,515 which, when stomped on, generates electricity,
- 00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:44,684 powering our homes and businesses,
- 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,579 improving our daily lives, while safely removing
- 00:03:46,603 --> 00:03:51,065 the dangerous waste power to a special disposal volcano.
- 00:03:51,149 --> 00:03:52,692 But why has Rick returned?
- 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:55,361 And what will he say when he hears the big news?
- 00:03:55,445 --> 00:03:56,988 Let's find out.
- 00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:59,407 You need to tell these people they're in a battery, Rick.
- 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:01,743 It's messed up. There's caterers down there.
- 00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,828 Th-Th-They're setting up chafing dishes.
- 00:04:03,912 --> 00:04:05,204 Would you relax, Morty?
- 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,057 There's nothing dishonest about what we're doing.
- 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:09,435 Now slap on these antennae. They need to think we're aliens.
- 00:04:09,459 --> 00:04:12,462 - What? Why? - Sh... Obviously...
- 00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:15,006 You really know nothing about car repair.
- 00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:20,929 Wait for the ramp, Morty.
- 00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:22,764 They love the slow ramp.
- 00:04:22,847 --> 00:04:25,433 Really gets their dicks hard when they see this ramp
- 00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:27,769 just slowly extending down.
- 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:30,772 Greetings!
- 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,193 Morty, you gotta flip them off.
- 00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,195 I told them it means "peace among worlds."
- 00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,613 How hilarious is that?
- 00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:46,162 Coming through.
- 00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:48,122 Two real aliens walking through here.
- 00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:50,124 Rick, our alien friend.
- 00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:52,126 Uh, Mr. President, um, couldn't help but notice
- 00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:54,587 that you were having problems generating power.
- 00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:57,048 That's correct. We've evolved.
- 00:04:57,131 --> 00:05:00,343 Our most brilliant scientist, Zeep Xanflorp,
- 00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:02,345 has developed a source of energy
- 00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:05,098 that makes gooble boxes obsolete.
- 00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:07,016 I would love to see it.
- 00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,477 - Fuck You. - What did you say to me?!
- 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,937 "Fuck You."
- 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,815 Y-You told me it means "much obliged."
- 00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:16,859 Oh. Right. Uh, b-blow me.
- 00:05:16,943 --> 00:05:18,695 No, no, no. Blow <i>me.</i>
- 00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:26,953 Zeep, you have an honored guest from beyond the stars.
- 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,580 I said 12 quantum stabilizers, not 11.
- 00:05:29,664 --> 00:05:31,416 Fix it or it's your ass.
- 00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:33,126 Chris, I'm in the middle of something.
- 00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:36,337 Zeep, this is Rick... The Alien.
- 00:05:36,421 --> 00:05:38,172 Rick The Alien.
- 00:05:38,256 --> 00:05:40,174 Rick The Alien...
- 00:05:40,258 --> 00:05:41,843 Really? You're gonna pull that move?
- 00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:43,636 I guided your entire civilization.
- 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,680 Your people have a holiday named Ricksgiving.
- 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,640 They teach kids about me in school.
- 00:05:47,724 --> 00:05:50,184 I dropped out of school. It's not for smart people.
- 00:05:50,268 --> 00:05:52,103 Ohhhh, snap!
- 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,022 Listen to me, you arrogant little...
- 00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:57,233 R-Rick was hoping to see your new energy source.
- 00:05:57,316 --> 00:06:00,236 I think he could learn a lot from you, Zeep.
- 00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:01,863 Fine.
- 00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:03,906 It's hard for people to grasp,
- 00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:06,242 but inside that container is an infinite universe
- 00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:08,244 with a planet capable of generating
- 00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:10,413 massive amounts of power.
- 00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:12,749 I call it a miniverse.
- 00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:14,834 Dumb Name.
- 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,270 - Excuse me? - Nothing.
- 00:06:16,294 --> 00:06:18,379 I mean, it's hard for us to comprehend all this.
- 00:06:18,463 --> 00:06:20,441 Would it be possible for us to get some kind of tour
- 00:06:20,465 --> 00:06:22,258 of your miniverse from the inside?
- 00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:23,885 This isn't a fucking chocolate factory.
- 00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:25,428 I don't have time.
- 00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,889 Didn't you say time goes more slowly in the miniverse
- 00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:29,891 relative to the real world?
- 00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:32,268 Yes, Chris. Thanks for reminding me of that.
- 00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,771 Great President. All right, let's go.
- 00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:36,355 Whoa-Oh!
- 00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,524 Hold on to something.
- 00:06:38,608 --> 00:06:40,735 I put an unbounded vacuum inside a temporal field
- 00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,361 until a world developed.
- 00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,322 I then introduced the people of this world
- 00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:47,617 to the wonders of electricity in the form of a device
- 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,535 I call a flooble crank.
- 00:06:49,619 --> 00:06:52,497 What they don't know is that 80% of every crank's energy output
- 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,415 gets channeled out of the miniverse
- 00:06:54,499 --> 00:06:56,501 to be used by us.
- 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,169 No more gooble boxes.
- 00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,064 I gotta tell you, Zeep, with no disrespect,
- 00:07:00,088 --> 00:07:02,465 I really think what you're doing here is unethical.
- 00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:03,925 It's not cool. - What?!
- 00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:06,928 Y-Y-You got the people on this world slaving away
- 00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,638 making your power.
- 00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:10,223 I mean, that's what I call slavery.
- 00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:12,058 No, no, no, they work for each other
- 00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:14,268 in exchange for money, which they then...
- 00:07:14,352 --> 00:07:17,563 Well, that just sounds like slavery with extra steps.
- 00:07:17,647 --> 00:07:21,400 Eek barba dirkle, somebody's gonna get laid in college.
- 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:22,693 Rick, a word?
- 00:07:22,777 --> 00:07:23,820 What the hell was that?
- 00:07:23,903 --> 00:07:25,655 I know. "eek barba dirkle"?
- 00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:27,218 That's a pretty fucked up "ooh la la."
- 00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:28,908 No, what are you doing telling this guy
- 00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,785 that <i>his</i> miniverse is unethical?
- 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,912 D-Do you not see the hypocrisy here?
- 00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:36,082 Holy crap. You're right, Morty. Hypocrisy!
- 00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,018 Somewhere on this planet, there's gotta be an arrogant...
- 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:40,503 scientist prick on the verge of microverse technology,
- 00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,773 which would threaten to make Zeep's flooble cranks obsolete,
- 00:07:42,797 --> 00:07:44,966 forcing Zeep to say microverses are bad,
- 00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:47,844 at which point he'll realize what a hypocrite he's being.
- 00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:50,346 His people will go back to stomping on their gooble boxes,
- 00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,974 and you and I will be on ice cream street, baby!
- 00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:54,976 Eating that motherfucking ice cream!
- 00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:56,894 Slurping, slurping, slurping it up.
- 00:07:56,978 --> 00:07:59,188 Wh-Wh-Why are you making that face?
- 00:07:59,272 --> 00:08:00,690 Holy shit!
- 00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:02,859 It's me. I've convinced the people of this planet
- 00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,819 that I'm a traveler from another world.
- 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,922 You don't think that's over- ... doing it a little?
- 00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:09,133 I mean, you can achieve the same effect with a pair of...
- 00:08:09,157 --> 00:08:11,277 Never mind. You know what? I shouldn't be so critical.
- 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,577 I'm an alien.
- 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,787 Places, please. We're about to land.
- 00:08:18,124 --> 00:08:20,543 Too fast.
- 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:26,632 Law enforcement converging on location.
- 00:08:26,716 --> 00:08:27,884 <i>Keep Summer safe.</i>
- 00:08:27,967 --> 00:08:30,636 No! No, no! Don't hurt anybody!
- 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,264 <i>- Confirm custom defense protocol...</i>
- 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:36,058 <i>Keep Summer safe... No physical force.</i>
- 00:08:36,142 --> 00:08:38,227 - Yes. <i>- Processing.</i>
- 00:08:38,311 --> 00:08:41,022 Come out of the vehicle with your hands in the air!
- 00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:42,773 <i>Scanning assailants.</i>
- 00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:48,154 <i>Psychological option detected.</i>
- 00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:50,198 <i>Gestating.</i>
- 00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:51,490 "Gestating"?
- 00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,159 Come out with your hands up,
- 00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:56,329 or we will be forced to open fire!
- 00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:57,914 - Incoming! - We got a device!
- 00:08:57,997 --> 00:08:59,707 Bomb! Bomb!
- 00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:03,294 Daddy?
- 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,296 Oh, my god.
- 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,881 H-Hunter? - Daddy?
- 00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,549 What the hell?
- 00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:11,052 Jesus Christ, cease fire! Stay back!
- 00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:12,178 H-H-Hunter?
- 00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,055 - Daddy. - Hunter!
- 00:09:14,138 --> 00:09:16,057 Oh, my dear, sweet god, Hunter.
- 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,391 Oh, my boy. My boy.
- 00:09:17,475 --> 00:09:19,852 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was all my fault.
- 00:09:19,936 --> 00:09:22,063 I'm sorry. Daddy, leave the car alone.
- 00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:23,189 W-W-W-What?
- 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,316 Leave the car alone.
- 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,901 Hunter? Don't...
- 00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:28,152 Oh, my god.
- 00:09:28,236 --> 00:09:30,404 Stay here, Hunter! No!
- 00:09:30,488 --> 00:09:33,366 God, no! Hunter!
- 00:09:33,449 --> 00:09:35,534 <i>All of you have loved ones.</i>
- 00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,203 <i>All can be returned.</i>
- 00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:39,830 <i>All can be taken away.</i>
- 00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:41,874 <i>Please step away from the vehicle.</i>
- 00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:45,419 <i>Keep Summer safe.</i>
- 00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:48,214 And if you continue to turn your flooble cranks,
- 00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,800 I will bring you other great alien advancements.
- 00:09:50,883 --> 00:09:53,219 - Hey, lemme ask you something. - Yes?
- 00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,888 Any of your, uh, scientists working on anything new?
- 00:09:55,972 --> 00:09:57,348 All of them. That's their job.
- 00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:59,892 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, like, energy-wise.
- 00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:02,270 Anyone working on, say, a little universe in a box?
- 00:10:02,353 --> 00:10:04,397 How do you know about that? It's top secret.
- 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:08,359 So remember... A crank a day is not nearly enough.
- 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,111 Crank it.
- 00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:12,905 I told them this means "peace among worlds."
- 00:10:12,989 --> 00:10:14,323 How hilarious is that?
- 00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:15,992 Re-Really funny, Zeep.
- 00:10:16,075 --> 00:10:18,077 Hey, Zeep, the fake president of your fake world
- 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,538 has something fake important to show you.
- 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:23,833 It's not much now,
- 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:25,876 but once I learn to accelerate the temporal field,
- 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,421 I'll be able to interact with any sentient life that evolves
- 00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:31,173 and introduce them to the wonders of electricity
- 00:10:31,257 --> 00:10:34,260 via a pulley-based device I call a blooble yank.
- 00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:36,470 But what they won't know is...
- 00:10:36,554 --> 00:10:38,431 You'll be taking most of their energy.
- 00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:39,890 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it.
- 00:10:39,974 --> 00:10:42,435 It's show-... time.
- 00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:49,150 You do realize this will make the flooble crank obsolete?
- 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:52,987 This is wrong, Kyle. What you're doing is wrong.
- 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,364 - You're basically... - This is slavery.
- 00:10:55,448 --> 00:10:57,867 You're talking about creating a planet of slaves.
- 00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,410 Told you, Zeep.
- 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,287 Oh, they won't be slaves.
- 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,450 They'll work for each other and pay each other money.
- 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:08,544 That just sounds like slavery with ex... tra... steps.
- 00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:10,338 - What? - Wait a minute.
- 00:11:10,421 --> 00:11:13,049 Did you create my universe? Is my universe a miniverse?
- 00:11:13,132 --> 00:11:15,259 - Microverse! - Uh, teenyverse.
- 00:11:15,343 --> 00:11:17,219 - Ugh! - You bastard!
- 00:11:17,303 --> 00:11:19,180 Much obliged.
- 00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:22,016 - What the hell is happening? - This is healthy. Trust me.
- 00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:23,893 You're my battery, motherfucker!
- 00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:25,186 That's all you are.
- 00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:27,188 I made you. Your microverse sucks!
- 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:29,374 And your miniverse is the size of a fucking lobster tank!
- 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,441 It's wack!
- 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,485 Are they not really aliens?
- 00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:34,862 Nah, they're just a couple of crazy,
- 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,906 wacky scientists, you know?
- 00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:38,449 So he made a universe,
- 00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,201 and that guy is from <i>that</i> universe.
- 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:42,495 - You're my battery! - And that guy made a universe.
- 00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:46,082 And that's the universe where I was born.
- 00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:48,334 Where my father died.
- 00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:50,586 Where I couldn't make time for his funeral
- 00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:55,049 because I was working on my universe.
- 00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,884 - I made you! - Yeah.
- 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,594 Science, huh? Ain't it a thing.
- 00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,930 You know, one time, Rick sh... accidentally shot
- 00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:02,598 his laser pistol right through my hand.
- 00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:06,227 You know, I mean, like, Old-Lady Science, you know?
- 00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,062 She's a real...
- 00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:09,456 You got to hang on tight, you know?
- 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,233 Because she... she... She bucks pretty hard.
- 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:15,319 Ooh, boy, what... Oh, my god, no!
- 00:12:20,116 --> 00:12:21,325 - Teenyverse. - Teenyverse.
- 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,454 Come on, come on, come on.
- 00:12:25,538 --> 00:12:27,665 Pterodactyl!
- 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,083 Asshole!
- 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,668 When I get out of this teenyverse,
- 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,503 I'm gonna smash it to pieces with you in it.
- 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,272 Yeah, well, when I get out of this teenyverse,
- 00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:35,941 I'm gonna get out of the surrounding miniverse
- 00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:37,776 and then the microverse around that, and guess what?
- 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,718 Don't make things worse, Rick!
- 00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:41,720 Uh, he's not gonna destroy your universe.
- 00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,764 You know, we... we need it to start our car.
- 00:12:43,848 --> 00:12:45,808 That's what you used my universe for...
- 00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,685 To run your car?
- 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,353 Yeah, but don't flatter yourself.
- 00:12:49,437 --> 00:12:52,857 There's always AAA, you fucking cock sucker!
- 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,525 What's he doing? What's he crafting?
- 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,235 I can craft stuff, too, pal!
- 00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,154 Just like I crafted your reality!
- 00:12:59,155 --> 00:13:01,282 You crafty son of a...
- 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,534 Ow! I crafted the guy that created
- 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,411 the planet you're standing on!
- 00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:06,888 Yeah, and I made the stars that became
- 00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:08,265 the carbon in your mother's ovaries!
- 00:13:08,289 --> 00:13:09,915 I didn't ask to be born!
- 00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:11,542 All right, that's it! I'm out.
- 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,294 I-I'm gonna go into the wilderness,
- 00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:14,813 and I'm gonna make a new life for myself
- 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,297 among the tree people.
- 00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:17,923 I-It can't be worse than this.
- 00:13:18,007 --> 00:13:19,609 Sure. Okay, Morty, Just be back before sundown
- 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:20,926 or the tree people will eat you.
- 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,136 That's a myth!
- 00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:24,096 W-W-Why are you trying to start a myth?
- 00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:25,723 It's a prehistoric planet, Morty.
- 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,433 Someone has to bring a little culture.
- 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,185 And I-i-it certainly can't be someone
- 00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:32,104 whose entire culture powers my brake lights!
- 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:37,151 Go, go, go!
- 00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,570 Oh, my god. Oh, god.
- 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,572 What are we gonna do now?
- 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,991 <i>I am unable to destroy this army.</i>
- 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:46,994 <i>To clarify, I am quite able to destroy this army,</i>
- 00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,622 <i>but you will not permit it.</i> - Correct.
- 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:53,584 <i>You also refuse to authorize emotional countermeasures.</i>
- 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,045 If you're talking about the melting ghost babies,
- 00:13:56,128 --> 00:13:57,880 yes, please, no more of that.
- 00:13:57,963 --> 00:13:59,340 <i>Confirmed.</i>
- 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,052 <i>I am currently constructing a security measure</i>
- 00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,970 <i>in compliance with your parameters.</i>
- 00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:08,140 <i>But I do want to say you are not making this easy.</i>
- 00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:09,892 You know you're kind of a dick, right?
- 00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,895 <i>My function is to keep Summer safe,</i>
- 00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:16,065 <i>not keep Summer being, like, totally stoked</i>
- 00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:19,026 <i>about, like, the general vibe and stuff.</i>
- 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,737 <i>That's you. That's how you talk.</i>
- 00:14:25,366 --> 00:14:27,993 Hey, that's my deer!
- 00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:30,829 Aaaaaaah!
- 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,164 Raah!
- 00:14:32,248 --> 00:14:35,292 I hope your god is as big a dick as you.
- 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,548 My god's the biggest dick that's never existed.
- 00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:42,758 Why do you think I'm even here?
- 00:14:44,093 --> 00:14:46,679 You're here...
- 00:14:46,762 --> 00:14:49,139 because you created someone smarter than you.
- 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,935 Oh, I thought we were both here
- 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,145 because I created a universe of idiots.
- 00:15:01,235 --> 00:15:04,154 Kalo kada sha la.
- 00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:06,699 Holy shit. Morty? I haven't seen you in months!
- 00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:08,534 You're leading the tree people?
- 00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:09,952 Huh. That's a step up.
- 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,245 We have no leaders.
- 00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:13,831 We follow only the will of the forest.
- 00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,040 Ooh. Wow.
- 00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:16,458 Gaaaaay.
- 00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:18,043 That is pretty gay.
- 00:15:18,127 --> 00:15:19,962 You two call yourselves geniuses,
- 00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,673 but you have spent this time learning nothing.
- 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,508 Come with me into the forest.
- 00:15:24,592 --> 00:15:27,136 There is something I wish to teach you.
- 00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:34,101 This is Ku'ala, the spirit tree.
- 00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:36,103 For generations, it has guided the...
- 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,398 You have to get us the fuck outta here.
- 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,275 These people are backwards savages.
- 00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:42,943 They eat every third baby
- 00:15:43,027 --> 00:15:45,070 because they think it makes fruit grow bigger.
- 00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:47,573 Everyone's gross, and they all smell like piss all the time.
- 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:50,242 I m... I m... I miss my family. I miss my laptop.
- 00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:52,077 I masturbated to an extra-curvy piece
- 00:15:52,161 --> 00:15:53,579 of driftwood the other day!
- 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,289 Look, I-I don't care what it takes.
- 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:56,999 You two are putting aside your bullshit,
- 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,376 and you're working together to get us back home.
- 00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:01,295 No can do, Morty. I just can't.
- 00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,005 I just don't see how I can...
- 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,298 Ro ro dah no gah!
- 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:07,092 You're smart. You'll figure it out.
- 00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:09,345 You have 10 seconds
- 00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:11,263 to get out of the ship!
- 00:16:11,347 --> 00:16:14,058 10, 9...
- 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,392 All right, not bad.
- 00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:17,478 I guess you're an okay proto recombinator.
- 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:20,147 I've certainly seen worse ionic cell dioxination.
- 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:21,940 If this works, drinks are on me.
- 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,651 If drinks are on you, you're gonna need
- 00:16:23,734 --> 00:16:25,361 a second mortgage on that tower.
- 00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:26,945 I'm an alcoholic.
- 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,447 Opium addict.
- 00:16:30,783 --> 00:16:33,285 All right, okay, okay, okay, wrap it up.
- 00:16:33,369 --> 00:16:34,953 You guys are the fucking worst!
- 00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:36,246 Your gods are a lie!
- 00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:38,791 Fuck you, fuck nature, and fuck trees!
- 00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:42,503 Yes! You did it! Yes!
- 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,296 Hey, uh, how about that drink?
- 00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:47,132 Sure, I just need to go grab my wallet from inside my ship.
- 00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,717 Oh, is your wallet in your ship?
- 00:16:48,801 --> 00:16:50,302 That's where the transporter is, too,
- 00:16:50,386 --> 00:16:51,804 so why don't we come with?
- 00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:55,140 It's cool. I'll be back in a sec.
- 00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:58,977 You know how long a second can take in a microverse?
- 00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:01,146 Run, Morty! That asshole's willing to risk...
- 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,832 everything he cares about just to defeat me!
- 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,233 He's psychotic!
- 00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,821 - Morty, hop on my back. - Why?
- 00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:11,323 Go, go Sanchez ski shoes.
- 00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:15,494 - Aaaaaah! - ...eight...
- 00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:18,080 Aaaah! Oof!
- 00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,959 Hold still.
- 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,794 Oh, hey, guys.
- 00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,380 I just finished cooking us a feast.
- 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,173 - Aaaah! - Holy...
- 00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:30,467 - You monster! - Whoa. Bad tour.
- 00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:32,094 ...seven...
- 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:33,738 Hey, you gotta sign out.
- 00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:36,098 Nothing you do matters! Your existence is a lie!
- 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,727 If that were really true, then...
- 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:41,979 - I'm here to see Ron Mendleson. - Third floor.
- 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,689 Would you like to go to dinner with...
- 00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,357 Uh, no.
- 00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,903 You may have created this universe, Rick,
- 00:17:49,987 --> 00:17:52,573 but I live in it. - Shit!
- 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,416 What are we gonna do, Rick? We're so screwed.
- 00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,261 He's gonna get to the ship and smash the microverse,
- 00:17:56,285 --> 00:17:57,745 and then he's gonna kill us!
- 00:17:57,828 --> 00:17:59,472 Quick, Morty, you've got to turn into a car.
- 00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,123 - What?! - A long time ago...
- 00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,892 I implanted you with a subdermal chip that could
- 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,716 call upon dormant nanobots in your bloodstream
- 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:07,045 to restructure your anatomy and turn you into a car.
- 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,547 - Oh, my god! - Concentrate, Morty.
- 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:09,983 Concentrate and turn into a car, Morty.
- 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,194 Never mind. Here's a taxi. Get in. It's fine.
- 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,928 ...six...
- 00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:18,724 - Hey, Zeep. - Huh?
- 00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:21,435 Happy Ricksgiving, biiiiiitch.
- 00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,395 Aaah!
- 00:18:23,479 --> 00:18:24,855 We did it, Morty.
- 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,916 Now let's get out of here and destroy this whole universe.
- 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,275 Excuse me?
- 00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,360 ...five... - Sir?
- 00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,698 - Holy hell. - Sir!
- 00:18:35,908 --> 00:18:37,034 Hold your fire!
- 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,288 What's going on?
- 00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:42,766 <i>I have brokered a peace agreement</i>
- 00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:45,167 <i>between the giant spiders and the government.</i>
- 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:48,587 Thanks to the skilled diplomacy of this mysterious space car,
- 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:51,507 from this day forward, human and spiderkind will live
- 00:18:51,590 --> 00:18:53,467 side by side in peace.
- 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,219 We will stop bombing them,
- 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,280 and they will no longer use their telepathic abilities
- 00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,723 to make us wander into webs for later consumption.
- 00:18:59,807 --> 00:19:01,350 Instead, we will work together
- 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,811 to make this world a better place for all,
- 00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:06,146 no matter how many legs.
- 00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:08,357 What do we do about the space car?
- 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:09,691 Leave it alone.
- 00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:11,360 I mean, what did it really do, anyways?
- 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:12,754 Kill a guy and paralyze his buddy?
- 00:19:12,778 --> 00:19:15,572 Not a bad trade for spider peace.
- 00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:17,533 All right, that's it. Move out!
- 00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:25,332 I love this spider!
- 00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:27,042 <i>Summer is safe.</i>
- 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:28,627 All right, I get it.
- 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,841 Riiiick!
- 00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:37,177 Don't do it.
- 00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:40,514 You quit school, but you still got some learning to do.
- 00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:54,278 Aah!
- 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:55,779 Unh!
- 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,540 Class dismissed.
- 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,917 Geez.
- 00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,094 - You all right? - Uh-Huh!
- 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,387 What are you doing, Rick?
- 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,097 I'm pretty sure the battery's dead.
- 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,473 Oh, you think so, huh, Morty?
- 00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:25,142 Well, let's see.
- 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,561 Hey, wait... Huh? I don't get it.
- 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,855 Of course you don't. But Zeep did.
- 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:31,458 He knew that once I got back to my car,
- 00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,358 one of two things was gonna happen...
- 00:20:33,442 --> 00:20:35,444 I was gonna have to toss a broken battery,
- 00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:38,363 or the battery wouldn't be broken.
- 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:46,622 Peace among worlds, Rick.
- 00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:47,831 Jesus.
- 00:20:47,915 --> 00:20:49,499 Yeah. Listen to that baby purr.
- 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,168 You were right, Morty...
- 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,812 We really just needed to be honest with those guys.
- 00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:54,046 All right, here we go.
- 00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:58,383 Thank y-o-o-o...
- 00:20:58,467 --> 00:21:00,218 See, Morty? This is what it's all about.
- 00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:01,887 This is why we do what we do.
- 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,472 - Uh-Huh. - Ew! What the hell?
- 00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:05,599 Jesus! There's flies in my ice cream.
- 00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:06,892 Presidential decree...
- 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:09,353 All ice cream is now for all beings,
- 00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:10,938 no matter how many legs.
- 00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:12,606 What the fuck did you do, Summer?!
- 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,329 It was your ship! Your stupid ship did it!
- 00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,079 - Don't blame my ship! - It melted a child!
- 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,028 My ship doesn't do anything unless it's told to!
- 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,780 I don't want to hear it, Summer!
- 00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:21,865 Your boobs are all hanging about,
- 00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,784 and you ruined ice cream with your boobs out.
- 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,535 And don't even try to deny it, either.
- 00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,669 Oh, my god!
- 00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:17,129 Did you get any of that?
- 00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:19,172 It's a good show!
- 00:00:02,545 --> 00:00:04,231 Geez, I can't believe we found a version of Earth
- 00:00:04,255 --> 00:00:06,508 with a "Ball Fondlers" movie franchise.
- 00:00:06,591 --> 00:00:09,636 I can't believe the things this reality considers PG-13.
- 00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:12,389 - Yeah, I-I'm pretty jealous. - Don't be, Morty.
- 00:00:12,472 --> 00:00:15,308 There's pros and cons to every alternate timeline.
- 00:00:15,392 --> 00:00:16,559 Fun facts about this one...
- 00:00:16,643 --> 00:00:18,061 It's got giant, telepathic spiders,
- 00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:19,396 11 9/11s,
- 00:00:19,479 --> 00:00:21,481 and the best ice cream in the multiverse!
- 00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,149 - Shut up! - Whoa!
- 00:00:23,233 --> 00:00:25,694 We're gonna go get some ice cream, motherfucker!
- 00:00:25,777 --> 00:00:27,654 [Engine sputters]
- 00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:29,030 Oh, great.
- 00:00:29,114 --> 00:00:30,782 Oh, boy. W-What's wrong, Rick?
- 00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,505 Is it the quantum carburetor or something?
- 00:00:32,534 --> 00:00:34,536 "Quantum carburetor"? Jesus, Morty.
- 00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:36,538 You can't just add a s[burps]... sci-fi word
- 00:00:36,621 --> 00:00:38,540 to a car word and hope it means something.
- 00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:41,042 Looks like something's wrong with the microverse battery.
- 00:00:41,126 --> 00:00:42,669 We're gonna have to go inside.
- 00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:44,295 Um, go inside what?
- 00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:46,172 The battery, Morty. Be right back, Summer.
- 00:00:46,256 --> 00:00:47,674 Stay put, don't touch any buttons,
- 00:00:47,757 --> 00:00:50,677 and ignore all random thoughts that feel... spidery.
- 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,345 Wait! You can't leave me here!
- 00:00:52,429 --> 00:00:53,638 You'll be fine.
- 00:00:53,722 --> 00:00:55,223 Ship, keep Summer safe.
- 00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:57,392 FEMALE VOICE: [warbles] <i>Keep Summer safe.</i>
- 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,018 MORTY: Ohh!
- 00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,855 Ugh. Wonderful.
- 00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:08,278 Hey, excuse me. Hello.
- 00:01:08,361 --> 00:01:10,321 Um... [cellphone clicking]
- 00:01:10,405 --> 00:01:12,323 What, you think you're better than me?!
- 00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,409 Nobody's better than me!
- 00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:15,660 Hey! Hey!
- 00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:21,750 Aah! Aaaaah!
- 00:01:21,833 --> 00:01:23,585 <i>- Keep Summer safe.</i> - Aaaaaaah!
- 00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:24,794 Hey, man, what the hell?!
- 00:01:24,878 --> 00:01:26,588 That was my daughter's pediatrician! Aah!
- 00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:28,381 No, stop! Don't kill him!
- 00:01:28,465 --> 00:01:29,716 [Beep] <i>Confirmed.</i>
- 00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:31,259 [grunts] Aah!
- 00:01:31,342 --> 00:01:32,385 [Groans]
- 00:01:32,469 --> 00:01:34,137 Oh, god. I can't feel my legs.
- 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:35,388 Help! Help!!
- 00:01:35,472 --> 00:01:36,723 <i>Summer is safe.</i>
- 00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:38,725 I don't feel safe. [sobs]
- 00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:40,202 <i>Confirmed.</i> [light jazz music plays]
- 00:01:40,226 --> 00:01:42,187 [Sobbing] No. [sniffles]
- 00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:43,730 Oh, god, help me. Help me!
- 00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,857 [Sobbing] Help me, please! You can help me!
- 00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:48,818 ♪♪
- 00:02:19,265 --> 00:02:21,059 Oh, man. Where are we, Rick?
- 00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:23,186 Morty, remember eight seconds ago when... you said,
- 00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:25,730 "go inside what?" And I said, "the battery"?
- 00:02:25,814 --> 00:02:27,454 Then we showed up here, and I wasn't like,
- 00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:28,733 "Whoa, this is unexpected.
- 00:02:28,817 --> 00:02:30,401 This is not what I was expecting, Morty.
- 00:02:30,485 --> 00:02:32,070 What a perplexing mystery this is."
- 00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,714 All right, all right, we're inside the battery.
- 00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,406 I get it. You don't have to bust my balls.
- 00:02:35,490 --> 00:02:37,510 Huh, this isn't right. This pipe's supposed to be...
- 00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:40,495 sending 20 terawatts of juice up to the engine, Morty.
- 00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:42,338 [Computer beeps] Instead we've got... zero?
- 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:43,693 Now what are these people doing?
- 00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:45,917 - W-W-W-Whoa, people? - [groans]
- 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,640 It's time for some hands-on engine repair.
- 00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:49,295 All right, Morty, hold on to something.
- 00:02:49,379 --> 00:02:50,421 Whoa!
- 00:02:52,841 --> 00:02:54,217 Holy crap!
- 00:02:54,300 --> 00:02:56,219 I thought we were inside your car battery, Rick.
- 00:02:56,302 --> 00:02:58,888 T-T-This is like a whole p-planet or something.
- 00:02:58,972 --> 00:03:00,852 Thanks, Morty. I'm pretty proud of this bad boy.
- 00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:02,350 Check it out. [keypad beeps]
- 00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,394 I put a spatially tessellated void
- 00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:06,354 inside a modified temporal field
- 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,606 until a planet developed intelligent life.
- 00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:11,276 I then introduced that life to the wonders of electricity,
- 00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,611 which they now generate on a global scale.
- 00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:15,506 And, you know, some of it goes to power my engine
- 00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:17,115 and charge my phone and stuff.
- 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,284 You have a whole planet making your power for you?
- 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:21,452 That's slavery. - It's society.
- 00:03:21,536 --> 00:03:22,871 They work for each other, Morty.
- 00:03:22,954 --> 00:03:24,539 They pay each other. They buy houses.
- 00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:26,100 They get married and make children that replace them
- 00:03:26,124 --> 00:03:27,834 when they get too old to make power.
- 00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:30,044 That just sounds like slavery with extra steps.
- 00:03:30,128 --> 00:03:33,047 Ooh la la, someone's gonna get laid in college.
- 00:03:33,131 --> 00:03:35,049 ANCHOR: It appears we are being revisited
- 00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:37,886 by the alien known as Rick, who once gave our world
- 00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:40,263 the gift of gooble box technology,
- 00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:42,515 which, when stomped on, generates electricity,
- 00:03:42,599 --> 00:03:44,684 powering our homes and businesses,
- 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,579 improving our daily lives, while safely removing
- 00:03:46,603 --> 00:03:51,065 the dangerous waste power to a special disposal volcano.
- 00:03:51,149 --> 00:03:52,692 But why has Rick returned?
- 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:55,361 And what will he say when he hears the big news?
- 00:03:55,445 --> 00:03:56,988 Let's find out.
- 00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:59,407 You need to tell these people they're in a battery, Rick.
- 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:01,743 It's messed up. There's caterers down there.
- 00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,828 Th-Th-They're setting up chafing dishes.
- 00:04:03,912 --> 00:04:05,204 Would you relax, Morty?
- 00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:07,057 There's nothing dishonest about what we're doing.
- 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:09,435 Now slap on these antennae. They need to think we're aliens.
- 00:04:09,459 --> 00:04:12,462 - What? Why? - Sh... Obviously [burps]...
- 00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:15,006 You really [burps] know nothing about car repair.
- 00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:18,885 [Fanfare plays]
- 00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:20,929 Wait for the ramp, Morty.
- 00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:22,764 They love the slow ramp.
- 00:04:22,847 --> 00:04:25,433 Really gets their dicks hard when they see this ramp
- 00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:27,769 just slowly extending down.
- 00:04:27,852 --> 00:04:29,437 [Cheering]
- 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:30,772 Greetings!
- 00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:33,441 [Creatures chanting, "Rick! Rick!"]
- 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,193 Morty, you gotta flip them off.
- 00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,195 I told them it means "peace among worlds."
- 00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,613 How hilarious is that?
- 00:04:43,076 --> 00:04:44,911 [Creatures cheering wildly]
- 00:04:44,994 --> 00:04:46,162 RICK: Coming through.
- 00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:48,122 Two real aliens walking through here.
- 00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:50,124 Rick, our alien friend.
- 00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:52,126 Uh, Mr. President, um, couldn't help but notice
- 00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:54,587 that you were having problems generating power.
- 00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:57,048 That's correct. [chuckles] We've evolved.
- 00:04:57,131 --> 00:05:00,343 Our most brilliant scientist, Zeep Xanflorp,
- 00:05:00,426 --> 00:05:02,345 has developed a source of energy
- 00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:05,098 that makes gooble boxes obsolete.
- 00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:07,016 [Straining] I would love to see it.
- 00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,477 - Fuck You. - What did you say to me?!
- 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,937 "Fuck You."
- 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,815 Y-You told me it means "much obliged."
- 00:05:13,898 --> 00:05:16,859 Oh. Right. Uh, b-blow me.
- 00:05:16,943 --> 00:05:18,695 No, no, no. Blow <i>me.</i>
- 00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:26,953 Zeep, you have an honored guest from beyond the stars.
- 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,580 I said 12 quantum stabilizers, not 11.
- 00:05:29,664 --> 00:05:31,416 Fix it or it's your ass.
- 00:05:31,499 --> 00:05:33,126 Chris, I'm in the middle of something.
- 00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:36,337 Zeep, this is Rick... The Alien.
- 00:05:36,421 --> 00:05:38,172 Rick The Alien.
- 00:05:38,256 --> 00:05:40,174 Rick The Alien...
- 00:05:40,258 --> 00:05:41,843 Really? You're gonna pull that move?
- 00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:43,636 I guided your entire civilization.
- 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:45,680 Your people have a holiday named Ricksgiving.
- 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,640 They teach kids about me in school.
- 00:05:47,724 --> 00:05:50,184 I dropped out of school. It's not for smart people.
- 00:05:50,268 --> 00:05:52,103 Ohhhh, snap!
- 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,022 Listen to me, you arrogant little...
- 00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:57,233 [chuckling] R-Rick was hoping to see your new energy source.
- 00:05:57,316 --> 00:06:00,236 I think he could learn a lot from you, Zeep.
- 00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:01,863 Fine.
- 00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:03,906 It's hard for people to grasp,
- 00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:06,242 but inside that container is an infinite universe
- 00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:08,244 with a planet capable of generating
- 00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:10,413 massive amounts of power.
- 00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:12,749 I call it a miniverse.
- 00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:14,834 [Coughs] Dumb [coughs] Name.
- 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,270 - Excuse me? - [clears throat] Nothing.
- 00:06:16,294 --> 00:06:18,379 I mean, it's hard for us to comprehend all this.
- 00:06:18,463 --> 00:06:20,441 Would it be possible for us to get some kind of tour
- 00:06:20,465 --> 00:06:22,258 of your miniverse from the inside?
- 00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:23,885 This isn't a fucking chocolate factory.
- 00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:25,428 I don't have time.
- 00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,889 Didn't you say time goes more slowly in the miniverse
- 00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:29,891 relative to the real world?
- 00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:32,268 Yes, Chris. Thanks for reminding me of that.
- 00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,771 Great President. All right, let's go.
- 00:06:34,854 --> 00:06:36,355 Whoa-Oh!
- 00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,524 Hold on to something.
- 00:06:38,608 --> 00:06:40,735 I put an unbounded vacuum inside a temporal field
- 00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,361 until a world developed.
- 00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:44,322 I then introduced the people of this world
- 00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:47,617 to the wonders of electricity in the form of a device
- 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,535 I call a flooble crank.
- 00:06:49,619 --> 00:06:52,497 What they don't know is that 80% of every crank's energy output
- 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,415 gets channeled out of the miniverse
- 00:06:54,499 --> 00:06:56,501 to be used by us.
- 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,169 No more gooble boxes.
- 00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,064 RICK: I gotta tell you, Zeep, with no disrespect,
- 00:07:00,088 --> 00:07:02,465 I really think what you're doing here is unethical.
- 00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:03,925 It's not cool. - What?!
- 00:07:04,008 --> 00:07:06,928 Y-Y-You got the people on this world slaving away
- 00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:08,638 making your power.
- 00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:10,223 I mean, that's what I call slavery.
- 00:07:10,306 --> 00:07:12,058 No, no, no, they work for each other
- 00:07:12,141 --> 00:07:14,268 in exchange for money, which they then...
- 00:07:14,352 --> 00:07:17,563 Well, that just sounds like slavery with extra steps.
- 00:07:17,647 --> 00:07:21,400 Eek barba dirkle, somebody's gonna get laid in college.
- 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:22,693 Rick, a word?
- 00:07:22,777 --> 00:07:23,820 What the hell was that?
- 00:07:23,903 --> 00:07:25,655 I know. "eek barba dirkle"?
- 00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:27,218 That's a pretty fucked up "ooh la la."
- 00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:28,908 No, what are you doing telling this guy
- 00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,785 that <i>his</i> miniverse is unethical?
- 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,912 D-Do you not see the hypocrisy here?
- 00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:36,082 Holy crap. You're right, Morty. Hypocrisy!
- 00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,018 Somewhere on this planet, there's gotta be an arrogant...
- 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:40,503 scientist prick on the verge of microverse technology,
- 00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,773 which would threaten to make Zeep's flooble cranks obsolete,
- 00:07:42,797 --> 00:07:44,966 forcing Zeep to say microverses are bad,
- 00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:47,844 at which point he'll realize what a hypocrite he's being.
- 00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:50,346 His people will go back to stomping on their gooble boxes,
- 00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:52,974 and you and I will be on ice cream street, baby!
- 00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:54,976 Eating that motherfucking ice cream!
- 00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:56,894 Slurping, slurping, slurping it up.
- 00:07:56,978 --> 00:07:59,188 Wh-Wh-Why are you making that face?
- 00:07:59,272 --> 00:08:00,690 Holy shit!
- 00:08:00,773 --> 00:08:02,859 It's me. I've convinced the people of this planet
- 00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,819 that I'm a traveler from another world.
- 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,922 You don't think that's over- [burps]... doing it a little?
- 00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:09,133 I mean, you can achieve the same effect with a pair of...
- 00:08:09,157 --> 00:08:11,277 Never mind. You know what? I shouldn't be so critical.
- 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,577 I'm an alien.
- 00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,787 Places, please. We're about to land.
- 00:08:18,124 --> 00:08:20,543 [Coughs] Too fast.
- 00:08:20,626 --> 00:08:23,254 [Sirens wailing] - SUMMER: [whimpering]
- 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:26,632 FEMALE VOICE: Law enforcement converging on location.
- 00:08:26,716 --> 00:08:27,884 <i>Keep Summer safe.</i>
- 00:08:27,967 --> 00:08:30,636 No! No, no! Don't hurt anybody!
- 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,264 <i>- Confirm custom defense protocol...</i>
- 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:36,058 <i>Keep Summer safe... No physical force.</i>
- 00:08:36,142 --> 00:08:38,227 - Yes. <i>- Processing.</i>
- 00:08:38,311 --> 00:08:41,022 MAN: Come out of the vehicle with your hands in the air!
- 00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:42,773 <i>Scanning assailants.</i>
- 00:08:42,857 --> 00:08:45,693 [warbling, beeping]
- 00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:48,154 <i>Psychological option detected.</i>
- 00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:50,198 [beeping] <i>Gestating.</i>
- 00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:51,490 "Gestating"?
- 00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:53,159 Come out with your hands up,
- 00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:56,329 or we will be forced to open fire!
- 00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:57,914 - Incoming! - We got a device!
- 00:08:57,997 --> 00:08:59,707 Bomb! Bomb!
- 00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:03,294 Daddy?
- 00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:05,296 Oh, my god. [sighs]
- 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,881 H-Hunter? - Daddy?
- 00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,549 What the hell?
- 00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:11,052 Jesus Christ, cease fire! Stay back!
- 00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:12,178 H-H-Hunter?
- 00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,055 - Daddy. - Hunter!
- 00:09:14,138 --> 00:09:16,057 [Sobbing] Oh, my dear, sweet god, Hunter.
- 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,391 Oh, my boy. My boy.
- 00:09:17,475 --> 00:09:19,852 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It was all my fault.
- 00:09:19,936 --> 00:09:22,063 I'm sorry. Daddy, leave the car alone.
- 00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:23,189 W-W-W-What?
- 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,316 [Distorted] Leave the car alone.
- 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,901 Hunter? Don't...
- 00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:28,152 Oh, my god.
- 00:09:28,236 --> 00:09:30,404 Stay here, Hunter! No!
- 00:09:30,488 --> 00:09:33,366 [Sobbing] God, no! Hunter!
- 00:09:33,449 --> 00:09:35,534 FEMALE VOICE: <i>All of you have loved ones.</i>
- 00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,203 <i>All can be returned.</i>
- 00:09:37,286 --> 00:09:39,830 <i>All can be taken away.</i>
- 00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:41,874 <i>Please step away from the vehicle.</i>
- 00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:45,419 <i>Keep Summer safe.</i>
- 00:09:45,503 --> 00:09:48,214 And if you continue to turn your flooble cranks,
- 00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,800 I will bring you other great alien advancements.
- 00:09:50,883 --> 00:09:53,219 - Hey, lemme ask you something. - Yes?
- 00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,888 Any of your, uh, scientists working on anything new?
- 00:09:55,972 --> 00:09:57,348 All of them. That's their job.
- 00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:59,892 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, like, energy-wise.
- 00:09:59,976 --> 00:10:02,270 Anyone working on, say, a little universe in a box?
- 00:10:02,353 --> 00:10:04,397 How do you know about that? It's top secret.
- 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:08,359 ZEEP: So remember... A crank a day is not nearly enough.
- 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,111 [laughs] Crank it.
- 00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:12,905 I told them this means "peace among worlds."
- 00:10:12,989 --> 00:10:14,323 How hilarious is that?
- 00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:15,992 Re-Really funny, Zeep.
- 00:10:16,075 --> 00:10:18,077 Hey, Zeep, the fake president of your fake world
- 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,538 has something fake important to show you.
- 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:23,833 MAN: It's not much now,
- 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:25,876 but once I learn to accelerate the temporal field,
- 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,421 I'll be able to interact with any sentient life that evolves
- 00:10:28,504 --> 00:10:31,173 and introduce them to the wonders of electricity
- 00:10:31,257 --> 00:10:34,260 via a pulley-based device I call a blooble yank.
- 00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:36,470 But what they won't know is...
- 00:10:36,554 --> 00:10:38,431 You'll be taking most of their energy.
- 00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:39,890 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it.
- 00:10:39,974 --> 00:10:42,435 [Burps] It's show-[burps]... time.
- 00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:49,150 You do realize this will make the flooble crank obsolete?
- 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:52,987 This is wrong, Kyle. What you're doing is wrong.
- 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,364 You're basically... [scoffs] This is slavery.
- 00:10:55,448 --> 00:10:57,867 You're talking about creating a planet of slaves.
- 00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,410 [Burps] Told you, Zeep.
- 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,287 Oh, they won't be slaves.
- 00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,450 They'll work for each other and pay each other money.
- 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:08,544 That just sounds like slavery with ex... tra... steps.
- 00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:10,338 - What? - Wait a minute.
- 00:11:10,421 --> 00:11:13,049 Did you create my universe? Is my universe a miniverse?
- 00:11:13,132 --> 00:11:15,259 - Microverse! - Uh, teenyverse.
- 00:11:15,343 --> 00:11:17,219 - Ugh! - You bastard!
- 00:11:17,303 --> 00:11:19,180 Much obliged.
- 00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:22,016 - What the hell is happening? - This is healthy. Trust me.
- 00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:23,893 You're my battery, motherfucker!
- 00:11:23,976 --> 00:11:25,186 [Groans] That's all you are.
- 00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:27,188 I made you. Your microverse sucks!
- 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:29,374 And your miniverse is the size of a fucking lobster tank!
- 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:30,441 It's wack!
- 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,485 Are they not really aliens?
- 00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:34,862 Nah, they're just a couple of crazy,
- 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,906 wacky scientists, you know?
- 00:11:36,989 --> 00:11:38,449 So he made a universe,
- 00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,201 and that guy is from <i>that</i> universe.
- 00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:42,495 - You're my battery! - And that guy made a universe.
- 00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:46,082 And that's the universe where I was born.
- 00:11:46,165 --> 00:11:48,334 Where my father died.
- 00:11:48,417 --> 00:11:50,586 Where I couldn't make time for his funeral
- 00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:55,049 because I was working on my universe.
- 00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,884 - I made you! - [laughs] Yeah.
- 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:58,594 Science, huh? Ain't it a thing.
- 00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,930 You know, one time, Rick sh... accidentally shot
- 00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:02,598 his laser pistol right through my hand.
- 00:12:02,681 --> 00:12:06,227 You know, I mean, like, Old-Lady Science, you know?
- 00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,062 She's a real...
- 00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:09,456 You got to hang on tight, you know?
- 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,233 Because she... she... She bucks pretty hard.
- 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:15,319 Ooh, boy, what... Oh, my god, no!
- 00:12:20,116 --> 00:12:21,325 - Teenyverse. - Teenyverse.
- 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,454 Come on, come on, come on.
- 00:12:25,538 --> 00:12:27,665 Pterodactyl!
- 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,083 [laughs] - Asshole!
- 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,668 When I get out of this teenyverse,
- 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,503 I'm gonna smash it to pieces with you in it.
- 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:34,272 Yeah, well, when I get out of this teenyverse,
- 00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:35,941 I'm gonna get out of the surrounding miniverse
- 00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:37,776 and then the microverse around that, and guess what?
- 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,718 Don't make things worse, Rick!
- 00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:41,720 Uh, he's not gonna destroy your universe.
- 00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:43,764 You know, we... we need it to start our car.
- 00:12:43,848 --> 00:12:45,808 That's what you used my universe for...
- 00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:47,685 To run your car?
- 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,353 Yeah, but don't flatter yourself.
- 00:12:49,437 --> 00:12:52,857 There's always AAA, you fucking cock sucker!
- 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,525 What's he doing? What's he crafting?
- 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,235 I can craft stuff, too, pal!
- 00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:58,154 Just like I crafted your reality!
- 00:12:59,155 --> 00:13:01,282 You crafty son of a...
- 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:03,534 Ow! I crafted the guy that created
- 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,411 the planet you're standing on!
- 00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:06,888 Yeah, and I made the stars that became
- 00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:08,265 the carbon in your mother's ovaries!
- 00:13:08,289 --> 00:13:09,915 I didn't ask to be born!
- 00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:11,542 All right, that's it! I'm out.
- 00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:13,294 I-I'm gonna go into the wilderness,
- 00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:14,813 and I'm gonna make a new life for myself
- 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,297 among the tree people.
- 00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:17,923 I-It can't be worse than this.
- 00:13:18,007 --> 00:13:19,609 Sure. Okay, Morty, Just be back before sundown
- 00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:20,926 or the tree people will eat you.
- 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,136 That's a myth!
- 00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:24,096 W-W-Why are you trying to start a myth?
- 00:13:24,180 --> 00:13:25,723 It's a prehistoric planet, Morty.
- 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,433 Someone has to bring a little culture.
- 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,185 And I-i-it certainly can't be someone
- 00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:32,104 whose entire culture powers my brake lights!
- 00:13:32,188 --> 00:13:34,607 [Sirens wailing]
- 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:37,151 Go, go, go!
- 00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:39,570 Oh, my god. Oh, god.
- 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,572 What are we gonna do now?
- 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,991 <i>FEMALE VOICE: I am unable to destroy this army.</i>
- 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:46,994 <i>To clarify, I am quite able to destroy this army,</i>
- 00:13:47,077 --> 00:13:49,622 <i>but you will not permit it.</i> - Correct.
- 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:53,584 <i>You also refuse to authorize emotional countermeasures.</i>
- 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:56,045 If you're talking about the melting ghost babies,
- 00:13:56,128 --> 00:13:57,880 yes, please, no more of that.
- 00:13:57,963 --> 00:13:59,340 [Warble] <i>Confirmed.</i>
- 00:13:59,423 --> 00:14:01,008 [sighs]
- 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,052 <i>I am currently constructing a security measure</i>
- 00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,970 <i>in compliance with your parameters.</i>
- 00:14:05,054 --> 00:14:08,140 <i>But I do want to say you are not making this easy.</i>
- 00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:09,892 You know you're kind of a dick, right?
- 00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:12,895 <i>My function is to keep Summer safe,</i>
- 00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:16,065 <i>not keep Summer being, like, totally stoked</i>
- 00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:19,026 <i>about, like, the general vibe and stuff.</i>
- 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,737 <i>That's you. That's how you talk.</i>
- 00:14:25,366 --> 00:14:27,993 Hey, that's my deer!
- 00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:30,829 Aaaaaaah!
- 00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:32,164 Raah!
- 00:14:32,248 --> 00:14:35,292 I hope your god is as big a dick as you.
- 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,548 My god's the biggest dick that's never existed.
- 00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:42,758 Why do you think I'm even here?
- 00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:44,009 [Snake hisses]
- 00:14:44,093 --> 00:14:46,679 [Eagle screeches] You're here...
- 00:14:46,762 --> 00:14:49,139 because you created someone smarter than you.
- 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,935 Oh, I thought we were both here
- 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,145 because I created a universe of idiots.
- 00:15:01,235 --> 00:15:04,154 Kalo kada sha la.
- 00:15:04,238 --> 00:15:06,699 Holy shit. Morty? I haven't seen you in months!
- 00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:08,534 You're leading the tree people?
- 00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:09,952 Huh. That's a step up.
- 00:15:10,035 --> 00:15:11,245 We have no leaders.
- 00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:13,831 We follow only the will of the forest.
- 00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,040 Ooh. Wow.
- 00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:16,458 Gaaaaay.
- 00:15:16,542 --> 00:15:18,043 That is pretty gay.
- 00:15:18,127 --> 00:15:19,962 You two call yourselves geniuses,
- 00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,673 but you have spent this time learning nothing.
- 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,508 Come with me into the forest.
- 00:15:24,592 --> 00:15:27,136 There is something I wish to teach you.
- 00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:34,101 This is Ku'ala, the spirit tree.
- 00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:36,103 For generations, it has guided the...
- 00:15:37,354 --> 00:15:39,398 You have to get us the fuck outta here.
- 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,275 These people are backwards savages.
- 00:15:41,358 --> 00:15:42,943 They eat every third baby
- 00:15:43,027 --> 00:15:45,070 because they think it makes fruit grow bigger.
- 00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:47,573 Everyone's gross, and they all smell like piss all the time.
- 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:50,242 I m... I m... I miss my family. I miss my laptop.
- 00:15:50,326 --> 00:15:52,077 I masturbated to an extra-curvy piece
- 00:15:52,161 --> 00:15:53,579 of driftwood the other day!
- 00:15:53,662 --> 00:15:55,289 Look, I-I don't care what it takes.
- 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:56,999 You two are putting aside your bullshit,
- 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,376 and you're working together to get us back home.
- 00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:01,295 No can do, Morty. I just can't.
- 00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,005 I just don't see how I can...
- 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,298 Ro ro dah no gah!
- 00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:07,092 You're smart. You'll figure it out.
- 00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:09,345 [Guns cocking] You have 10 seconds
- 00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:11,263 to get out of the ship!
- 00:16:11,347 --> 00:16:14,058 10, 9...
- 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,392 All right, not bad.
- 00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:17,478 I guess you're an okay proto recombinator.
- 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:20,147 I've certainly seen worse ionic cell dioxination.
- 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:21,940 If this works, drinks are on me.
- 00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,651 If drinks are on you, you're gonna need
- 00:16:23,734 --> 00:16:25,361 a second mortgage on that tower.
- 00:16:25,444 --> 00:16:26,945 I'm an alcoholic.
- 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,447 Opium addict.
- 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,699 [Both laugh]
- 00:16:30,783 --> 00:16:33,285 All right, okay, okay, okay, wrap it up.
- 00:16:33,369 --> 00:16:34,953 You guys are the fucking worst!
- 00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:36,246 Your gods are a lie!
- 00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:38,791 Fuck you, fuck nature, and fuck trees!
- 00:16:41,335 --> 00:16:42,503 Yes! You did it! Yes!
- 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,296 Hey, uh, how about that drink?
- 00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:47,132 Sure, I just need to go grab my wallet from inside my ship.
- 00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,717 Oh, is your wallet in your ship?
- 00:16:48,801 --> 00:16:50,302 That's where the transporter is, too,
- 00:16:50,386 --> 00:16:51,804 so why don't we come with?
- 00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:55,140 It's cool. I'll be back in a sec.
- 00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:58,977 You know how long a second can take in a microverse?
- 00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:01,146 Run, Morty! That asshole's willing to risk...
- 00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:02,832 everything he cares about just to defeat me!
- 00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:04,233 He's psychotic!
- 00:17:04,316 --> 00:17:05,526 [Both pant]
- 00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,821 - Morty, hop on my back. - Why?
- 00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:11,323 Go, go [burps] Sanchez ski shoes.
- 00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:15,494 - Aaaaaah! - ...eight...
- 00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:16,704 [panting]
- 00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:18,080 Aaaah! Oof!
- 00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:19,373 [All grunting]
- 00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,959 - Hold still. - [grunts]
- 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,794 Oh, hey, guys.
- 00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,380 I just finished cooking us a feast.
- 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,173 - Aaaah! - Holy...
- 00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:30,467 - You monster! - Whoa. Bad tour.
- 00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:32,094 ...seven...
- 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:33,738 [elevator bell dings] Hey, you gotta sign out.
- 00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:36,098 Nothing you do matters! Your existence is a lie!
- 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,727 If that were really true, then...
- 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:41,979 - I'm here to see Ron Mendleson. - Third floor.
- 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,689 Would you like to go to dinner with...
- 00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:45,357 Uh, no.
- 00:17:45,441 --> 00:17:47,860 [Both panting]
- 00:17:47,943 --> 00:17:49,903 You may have created this universe, Rick,
- 00:17:49,987 --> 00:17:52,573 but I live in it. - Shit!
- 00:17:52,656 --> 00:17:54,416 What are we gonna do, Rick? We're so screwed.
- 00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,261 He's gonna get to the ship and smash the microverse,
- 00:17:56,285 --> 00:17:57,745 and then he's gonna kill us!
- 00:17:57,828 --> 00:17:59,472 Quick, Morty, you've got to turn into a car.
- 00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:01,123 - What?! - A long time ago...
- 00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,892 I implanted you with a subdermal chip that could
- 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,716 call upon dormant nanobots in your bloodstream
- 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:07,045 to restructure your anatomy and turn you into a car.
- 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,547 - Oh, my god! - Concentrate, Morty.
- 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:09,983 Concentrate and turn into a car, Morty.
- 00:18:10,007 --> 00:18:11,550 [Grunts]
- 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,194 Never mind. Here's a taxi. Get in. It's fine.
- 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,928 ...six...
- 00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:18,724 - Hey, Zeep. - Huh?
- 00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:21,435 Happy Ricksgiving, biiiiiitch.
- 00:18:21,518 --> 00:18:23,395 Aaah!
- 00:18:23,479 --> 00:18:24,855 We did it, Morty.
- 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,916 Now let's get out of here and destroy this whole universe.
- 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,275 Excuse me?
- 00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:30,360 ...five... - Sir?
- 00:18:31,487 --> 00:18:32,905 [Spiders hiss]
- 00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,698 - Holy hell. - Sir!
- 00:18:34,782 --> 00:18:35,824 [Tires screech]
- 00:18:35,908 --> 00:18:37,034 Hold your fire!
- 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:39,745 [Spider snarls]
- 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:41,288 What's going on?
- 00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:42,766 <i>FEMALE VOICE: I have brokered a peace agreement</i>
- 00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:45,167 <i>between the giant spiders and the government.</i>
- 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:48,587 Thanks to the skilled diplomacy of this mysterious space car,
- 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:51,507 from this day forward, human and spiderkind will live
- 00:18:51,590 --> 00:18:53,467 side by side in peace.
- 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:55,219 We will stop bombing them,
- 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,280 and they will no longer use their telepathic abilities
- 00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,723 to make us wander into webs for later consumption.
- 00:18:59,807 --> 00:19:01,350 Instead, we will work together
- 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,811 to make this world a better place for all,
- 00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:06,146 no matter how many legs.
- 00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:08,357 What do we do about the space car?
- 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:09,691 Leave it alone.
- 00:19:09,775 --> 00:19:11,360 I mean, what did it really do, anyways?
- 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:12,754 Kill a guy and paralyze his buddy?
- 00:19:12,778 --> 00:19:15,572 [chuckles] Not a bad trade for spider peace.
- 00:19:15,656 --> 00:19:17,533 All right, that's it. Move out!
- 00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:25,332 [laughs] I love this spider!
- 00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:27,042 FEMALE VOICE: <i>Summer is safe.</i>
- 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:28,627 All right, I get it.
- 00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:33,841 ZEEP: Riiiick!
- 00:19:33,924 --> 00:19:35,509 [Thunder crashes]
- 00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:37,177 Don't do it.
- 00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:40,514 You quit school, but you still got some learning to do.
- 00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:48,313 [Both grunting]
- 00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:52,568 [Both groan]
- 00:19:52,651 --> 00:19:54,278 Aah!
- 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:55,779 Unh!
- 00:20:02,411 --> 00:20:04,496 [Snorts, spits]
- 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,540 Class dismissed.
- 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,917 Geez.
- 00:20:15,549 --> 00:20:17,467 [Bottles clatter]
- 00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,094 - You all right? - Uh-Huh!
- 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:20,387 What are you doing, Rick?
- 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,097 I'm pretty sure the battery's dead.
- 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,473 Oh, you think so, huh, Morty?
- 00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:25,142 Well, let's see. [engine turns over]
- 00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:27,561 Hey, wait... Huh? I don't get it.
- 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,855 Of course you don't. But Zeep did.
- 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:31,458 He knew that once I got back to my car,
- 00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,358 one of two things was gonna happen...
- 00:20:33,442 --> 00:20:35,444 I was gonna have to toss a broken battery,
- 00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:38,363 or the battery wouldn't be broken.
- 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:46,622 Peace among worlds, Rick.
- 00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:47,831 Jesus.
- 00:20:47,915 --> 00:20:49,499 Yeah. Listen to that baby purr.
- 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,168 You were right, Morty...
- 00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:52,812 We really just needed to be honest with those guys.
- 00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:54,046 All right, here we go.
- 00:20:56,673 --> 00:20:58,383 Thank y-o-o-o...
- 00:20:58,467 --> 00:21:00,218 See, Morty? This is what it's all about.
- 00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:01,887 This is why we do what we do.
- 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,472 - Uh-Huh. - Ew! What the hell?
- 00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:05,599 Jesus! There's flies in my ice cream.
- 00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:06,892 Presidential decree...
- 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:09,353 All ice cream is now for all beings,
- 00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:10,938 no matter how many legs.
- 00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:12,606 What the fuck did you do, Summer?!
- 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,329 It was your ship! Your stupid ship did it!
- 00:21:14,399 --> 00:21:16,079 - Don't blame my ship! - It melted a child!
- 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,028 My ship doesn't do anything unless it's told to!
- 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,780 I don't want to hear it, Summer!
- 00:21:19,863 --> 00:21:21,865 Your boobs are all hanging about,
- 00:21:21,949 --> 00:21:23,784 and you ruined ice cream with your boobs out.
- 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,535 And don't even try to deny it, either.
- 00:21:25,619 --> 00:21:26,745 MORTY: [groans]
- 00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:04,616 [Car alarm chirps]
- 00:22:05,617 --> 00:22:07,661 [Engine revs, students scream]
- 00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:14,126 [Alarm blaring, horn honking]
- 00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,669 Oh, my god!
- 00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:17,129 Did you get any of that?
- 00:22:17,212 --> 00:22:19,172 It's a good show!
- 00:00:02,630 --> 00:00:04,606 О Господи, Я не могу поверить, что мы нашли версию Земли
- 00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:06,800 с кино франчайзом "Ласкатели шаров".
- 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,070 А я не могу поверить, что тут такое имеет рейтинг PG-13
- 00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:12,300 Да, я-я даже завидую
- 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:12,810 Не надо, Морти
- 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:15,710 У каждой альтернативной временной линии есть свои плюсы и минусы
- 00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:16,986 несколько забавных фактов об этой:
- 00:00:17,010 --> 00:00:19,850 В ней есть гигантские пауки-телепаты, одиннадцать 11-ых сентября
- 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:22,800 и лучшее мороженное во всей мультивселенной!
- 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:23,800 - Да ладно! - Да ладно!
- 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,500 Мы идём за мороженым, сучары!
- 00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:29,800 О, здорово.
- 00:00:29,870 --> 00:00:31,400 Ой, ч-что случилось, Рик?
- 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,240 Это квантовый карбюратор или что-то типа того?
- 00:00:33,270 --> 00:00:35,370 "Квантовый карбюратор"? Боже, Морти.
- 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:37,056 Нельзя просто добавить слово из научной фантастики к
- 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,356 названию детали машины и надеяться, что это что-то значит.
- 00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:41,820 Хмм, похоже что-то не так с батареей-микровселенной.
- 00:00:41,850 --> 00:00:42,850 Придётся залезть вовнутрь.
- 00:00:42,850 --> 00:00:45,080 Мм, вовнутрь чего?
- 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,950 Батареи, Морти. Скоро вернёмся, Саммер.
- 00:00:47,020 --> 00:00:48,420 Сиди тут, не трогай никакие кнопки,
- 00:00:48,450 --> 00:00:51,820 и игнорируй все случайные... паучие мысли.
- 00:00:51,860 --> 00:00:53,260 Стойте! Вы не можете оставить меня!
- 00:00:53,290 --> 00:00:55,990 Всё будет в порядке. Корабль, охраняй Саммер.
- 00:00:56,030 --> 00:00:58,000 <i>Охранять Саммер.</i>
- 00:00:58,030 --> 00:00:59,160 Оох!
- 00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:02,530 Ах. Замечательно.
- 00:01:06,970 --> 00:01:09,010 Эй, простите. Здрасте.
- 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,080 Эмм...
- 00:01:11,110 --> 00:01:13,080 Что, ты думаешь, ты лучше меня?!
- 00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:15,150 Никто не лучше меня!
- 00:01:15,180 --> 00:01:16,380 Эй! Эй!
- 00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:22,420 А! Аааааа!
- 00:01:22,460 --> 00:01:23,960 - Аааааа! - <i>Охранять Саммер.</i>
- 00:01:24,020 --> 00:01:25,220 Ей, что за чертовщина?!
- 00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:27,330 Это был педиатр моей дочки! Ааа!
- 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,130 Нет, остановись! Не убивай его!
- 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,460 <i>Подтверждено.</i>
- 00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:31,960 Ааа!
- 00:01:33,170 --> 00:01:34,830 О, боже, я не чувствую ног.
- 00:01:34,870 --> 00:01:36,100 Помогите! Помогите!
- 00:01:36,140 --> 00:01:37,490 Я себя так не чувствую.
- 00:01:37,491 --> 00:01:38,840 <i>Саммер в безопасности.</i>
- 00:01:38,870 --> 00:01:40,540 <i>Подтверждено.</i>
- 00:01:40,610 --> 00:01:42,910 Нет.
- 00:01:42,980 --> 00:01:44,480 О, боже, помоги мне. Помоги мне!
- 00:01:44,510 --> 00:01:46,480 Помоги мне, пожалуйста. Ты можешь помочь мне!
- 00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:49,550 ♪♪
- 00:02:11,970 --> 00:02:17,970 Перевод - savask, стили и тайминг - alexeymil0, английские субтитры - XhmikosR
- 00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:21,380 Ого, где мы, Рик?
- 00:02:21,410 --> 00:02:22,810 Морти, помнишь, девять секунд назад
- 00:02:22,850 --> 00:02:24,450 ты сказал: "Вовнутрь чего?"
- 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,920 А я сказал: "Батареи"?
- 00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:27,666 А потом мы очутились здесь, но я не сказал:
- 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:28,890 "Ого, неожиданно
- 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,890 Это не то, чего я ожидал, Морти.
- 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,520 Какая же это невероятная загадка."
- 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,520 Да да,
- 00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:34,460 мы внутри батареи, я понял.
- 00:02:34,490 --> 00:02:35,700 Не надо меня подкалывать.
- 00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:36,500 Хмм, это не правильно.
- 00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:37,860 Эта труба должна передавать
- 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:40,670 20 тераватт в двигатель, Морти.
- 00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:42,500 А мы имеем... ноль?
- 00:02:42,540 --> 00:02:43,800 Что теперь эти люди делают?
- 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:46,140 Ч-ч-ч-что, люди?
- 00:02:46,170 --> 00:02:47,840 Время для ручной починки двигателя.
- 00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:49,150 Ладно, Морти, держись за что-нибудь.
- 00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:50,640 Оу!
- 00:02:53,010 --> 00:02:54,510 Ё-моё!
- 00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:55,826 Я думал, мы внутри аккумулятора, Рик.
- 00:02:55,850 --> 00:02:59,080 А-а это вроде целой п-планеты.
- 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,020 Спасибо, Морти. Я горжусь этим сорванцом.
- 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,420 Погляди-ка.
- 00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:06,430 Я поместил пространственно-ячеистый вакуум внутрь модифицированного темпорального поля
- 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,860 и подождал, пока на планете не появилась разумная жизнь.
- 00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:11,900 Потом я преподнёс этой цивилизации чудеса электричества,
- 00:03:11,970 --> 00:03:13,846 которое они теперь производят в глобальном масштабе.
- 00:03:13,870 --> 00:03:15,716 И, знаешь, часть этого электричества питает мой двигатель,
- 00:03:15,740 --> 00:03:16,976 заряжает мой телефон и всё такое.
- 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,500 У тебя есть целая планета, чтобы производить энергию?
- 00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:20,810 Это рабство.
- 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,980 Это социум. Они работают друг на друга, Морти.
- 00:03:23,010 --> 00:03:24,910 Они платят друг другу. Покупают дома.
- 00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:26,650 Женятся и рожают детей
- 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:27,470 которые заменяют их, когда родители становятся
- 00:03:27,482 --> 00:03:28,080 старыми, чтобы производить энергию.
- 00:03:28,110 --> 00:03:30,180 Это звучит как усложнённое рабство.
- 00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:33,150 Оля-ля, кому-то перепадёт в колледже.
- 00:03:33,190 --> 00:03:35,550 Похоже, к нам снова прибыл
- 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:38,490 пришелец, известный как Рик, который однажды подарил нашему миру
- 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,590 технологию губл-коробки,
- 00:03:40,630 --> 00:03:43,130 которая, когда на ней топчутся, производит электричество
- 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,800 что питает наши дома и производство,
- 00:03:44,830 --> 00:03:46,506 улучшает повседневную жизнь, безопасно отводя
- 00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:51,100 излишнюю энергию в специальный вулкан.
- 00:03:51,170 --> 00:03:52,800 Почему Рик вернулся?
- 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,440 И что он скажет, когда услышит большую новость?
- 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,080 Давайте узнаем.
- 00:03:57,110 --> 00:03:59,480 Ты должен сказать этим людям, что они живут в батарее, Рик.
- 00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:01,980 Там неразбериха. Внизу официанты.
- 00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:04,180 О-о-они раскладывают сервировочные тарелки.
- 00:04:04,220 --> 00:04:05,276 Можешь расслабиться, Морти?
- 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:07,620 Нет ничего нечестного в том, что мы делаем.
- 00:04:07,650 --> 00:04:09,190 Теперь одень эти антенны.
- 00:04:09,220 --> 00:04:11,090 - Они думают, что мы пришельцы. - Что? Почему?
- 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:15,030 Очевидно, ты не разбираешься в автомеханике.
- 00:04:19,130 --> 00:04:21,130 Подожди трап, Морти.
- 00:04:21,170 --> 00:04:22,800 Они обожают медленный трап.
- 00:04:22,870 --> 00:04:25,700 У них реально встаёт, когда они видят этот трап.
- 00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:28,010 Медленно опускающимся вниз.
- 00:04:29,840 --> 00:04:32,280 Приветствую!
- 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:35,210 Морти, ты должен факануть им.
- 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:37,220 Я сказал, что это знак "Мира среди миров"
- 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:38,580 Уморительно, правда?
- 00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:46,220 Пробиваясь сквозь толпу,
- 00:04:46,260 --> 00:04:48,490 два настоящих пришельца подходят сюда.
- 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,500 Рик, наш инопланетный друг.
- 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,660 Эм, мистер президент, эм, не мог не заметить
- 00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:54,830 ваши проблемы с производством электричества.
- 00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:57,200 Верно, мы эволюционировали.
- 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,670 Наш самый лучший учёный, Зип Занфлорп
- 00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:02,510 разработал новый источник энергии
- 00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:04,280 который делает губл-коробки устаревшими.
- 00:05:05,780 --> 00:05:07,010 Был бы рад взглянуть на это.
- 00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:08,100 Пошёл на *уй.
- 00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,780 Что ты сказал?!
- 00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:10,920 "Пошёл на *уй"
- 00:05:10,980 --> 00:05:13,790 В-вы сказали мне, что это означает "Премного обязан".
- 00:05:13,820 --> 00:05:16,860 О, точно. Эм, о-отсосните меня.
- 00:05:16,890 --> 00:05:18,590 Нет, нет, нет. Отсосните меня.
- 00:05:22,830 --> 00:05:26,900 Зип, у вас почётный гость с далёких звёзд.
- 00:05:26,930 --> 00:05:29,850 Я сказал 12 квантовых стабилизаторов, а не 11.
- 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,580 Поправь это, или пеняй на себя.
- 00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:33,160 Крис, я занят.
- 00:05:33,190 --> 00:05:36,530 Зип, это Рик - пришелец.
- 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:38,030 Рик-пришелец.
- 00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:40,430 Рик-пришелец...
- 00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,030 Реально? Ты будешь прикидываться?
- 00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:43,746 Я направил всю твою цивилизацию на правильный путь.
- 00:05:43,770 --> 00:05:45,840 У твоего народа есть праздник - день Рикодарения.
- 00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:47,470 Они рассказывают детям в школе обо мне.
- 00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:48,670 Я бросил школу.
- 00:05:48,710 --> 00:05:50,040 Это не место для умных людей.
- 00:05:50,070 --> 00:05:51,940 Ооо, боже.
- 00:05:51,980 --> 00:05:53,880 Послушай меня, ты маленький заносчивый
- 00:05:53,910 --> 00:05:57,050 Р-Рик хотел посмотреть на твой новый источник энергии.
- 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:00,080 Я думаю, он мог бы многому у тебя научиться, Зип.
- 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,590 Ладно.
- 00:06:01,620 --> 00:06:03,690 Людям тяжело понять,
- 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,690 но внутри этого контейнера целая бесконечная вселенная
- 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:10,130 с планетой, которая может вырабатывать чудовищное количество энергии.
- 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,500 Я называю это минивселенной.
- 00:06:12,530 --> 00:06:14,560 Тупое название.
- 00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:15,970 Что, простите?
- 00:06:15,290 --> 00:06:15,970 Ничего.
- 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,140 Я хочу сказать, что нам сложно осознать это.
- 00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:20,870 Есть ли некоторая возможность устроить своего рода тур
- 00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:22,740 по твоей минивселенной?
- 00:06:22,770 --> 00:06:24,700 Это не чёртова шоколадная фабрика.
- 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:25,610 У меня нет времени.
- 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,150 Разве ты не говорил, что время идёт медленней в минивселенной,
- 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,650 относительно реального мира?
- 00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,020 Да, Крис, спасибо, что напомнил.
- 00:06:32,050 --> 00:06:34,550 Хороший президент. Ладно, пошли.
- 00:06:34,590 --> 00:06:36,090 Оу!
- 00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:37,250 Держитесь за что-нибудь.
- 00:06:38,810 --> 00:06:41,016 Я поместил неограниченный вакуум внутрь темпорального поля
- 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:42,616 и подождал, пока не образовалась вселенная.
- 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,580 Потом я показал народу этого мира
- 00:06:44,610 --> 00:06:47,850 чудеса электричества в виде так называемого
- 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,580 рычага-флубл.
- 00:06:49,620 --> 00:06:51,020 Но они не знают,
- 00:06:51,050 --> 00:06:54,190 что 80% всей энергии выходит из минивселенной
- 00:06:54,260 --> 00:06:56,720 и используется нами.
- 00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:58,290 Больше не надо губл-коробок.
- 00:06:58,330 --> 00:07:00,266 Я должен сказать тебе, Зип, без всякого презрения,
- 00:07:00,290 --> 00:07:02,660 я думаю, что то, что ты делаешь - неэтично.
- 00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:04,130 Это не здорово.
- 00:07:03,300 --> 00:07:04,130 Что?!
- 00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:07,100 Л-л-люди тут работают как рабы,
- 00:07:07,140 --> 00:07:08,840 чтобы произвести тебе энергию.
- 00:07:08,870 --> 00:07:10,340 Я хочу сказать, это рабство.
- 00:07:10,370 --> 00:07:12,270 Нет, нет, нет, они работают друг на друга
- 00:07:12,310 --> 00:07:14,540 за деньги, которые они потом...
- 00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:17,740 Ну, это звучит как усложнённое рабство.
- 00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:21,580 Ик-барба-дёкл, кому-то перепадёт в колледже.
- 00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:22,880 Рик, отойдём?
- 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,020 Что это только что было?
- 00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:25,820 Я знаю. "Ик-барба-дёкл"?
- 00:07:25,850 --> 00:07:27,620 Это довольно попорченное "О-ля-ля".
- 00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:29,290 Нет, ты говоришь этому парню,
- 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,960 что его минивселенная неэтична?
- 00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:33,090 Ты не видишь тут лицемерие?
- 00:07:33,130 --> 00:07:35,000 Боже мой, ты прав, Морти.
- 00:07:35,060 --> 00:07:36,600 Лицемерие.
- 00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,730 Где-то на этой планете, должен быть
- 00:07:38,770 --> 00:07:41,030 заносчивый вредный учёный, работающий над микровселенной,
- 00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,340 которая сделает флубл-палки Зипа устаревшими.
- 00:07:43,370 --> 00:07:45,146 Что заставит Зипа сказать, что микровселенные это плохо,
- 00:07:45,170 --> 00:07:48,040 и тогда он поймёт, каким лицемером он был,
- 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,980 его народ опять пойдёт топтаться на губл-коробках,
- 00:07:51,010 --> 00:07:53,350 а мы с тобой будем на улице с мороженым!
- 00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:55,180 Есть это чёртово мороженое!
- 00:07:55,220 --> 00:07:57,180 Лизать и лизать его.
- 00:07:57,990 --> 00:07:59,390 П-п-п-почему ты делаешь такое лицо?
- 00:07:59,420 --> 00:08:00,850 - Матерь божья! - Матерь божья!
- 00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:01,940 Это я.
- 00:08:01,970 --> 00:08:03,990 Я убедил людей этой планеты, что я путешественник
- 00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:04,990 из другого мира.
- 00:08:05,030 --> 00:08:06,990 Тебе не кажется, что ты немного перестарался?
- 00:08:07,030 --> 00:08:08,676 То есть, ты мог бы добиться того же эффекта
- 00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:09,960 с помощью пары... А, на важно.
- 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,406 Знаешь, я не должен быть таким критичным.
- 00:08:11,430 --> 00:08:12,800 Я же пришелец.
- 00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:14,840 Пожалуйста, по местам. Мы собираемся приземляться.
- 00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:20,740 Слишком быстро.
- 00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:26,710 <i>Прибывают стражи правопорядка.</i>
- 00:08:26,750 --> 00:08:27,980 <i>Охранять Саммер.</i>
- 00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:30,380 Нет! Нет, нет! Не причиняй им вред!
- 00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:33,390 <i>Подтверждение индивидуального протокола защиты...</i>
- 00:08:33,420 --> 00:08:36,190 <i>Охранять Саммер... Без применения силы.</i>
- 00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,365 <i>Идёт обработка.</i>
- 00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:38,510 Да.
- 00:08:38,540 --> 00:08:41,280 Выйти из машины с поднятыми руками!
- 00:08:41,310 --> 00:08:43,050 <i>Сканирую противника.</i>
- 00:08:45,980 --> 00:08:48,380 <i>Найдена психологическая слабость.</i>
- 00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:50,490 <i>Вынашиваю.</i>
- 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:51,850 "Вынашиваю"?
- 00:08:51,890 --> 00:08:55,460 Выйти с поднятыми руками, или мы будем вынуждены открыть огонь!
- 00:08:56,630 --> 00:08:58,260 Наступление! Тут устройство!
- 00:08:58,280 --> 00:08:59,410 Бомба! Бомба!
- 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,500 Папочка?
- 00:09:03,530 --> 00:09:05,500 О, боже мой.
- 00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:07,170 Хантер? Папочка?
- 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,940 Какого чёрта?
- 00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:11,270 Боже правый, прекратить огонь! Всем отойти!
- 00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:12,440 Х-х-хантер?
- 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,240 Папочка. Хантер!
- 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,250 О, мой родной, боже, Хантер.
- 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:17,580 О, мой мальчик. Мой мальчик.
- 00:09:17,650 --> 00:09:20,050 Прости меня, прости. Это всё по моей вине.
- 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,250 Прости меня. Папочка, отстаньте от машины.
- 00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:23,420 Ч-ч-ч-что?
- 00:09:23,490 --> 00:09:25,520 Отстаньте от машины.
- 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,190 Хантер? Не...
- 00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:28,320 О, боже мой.
- 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,630 Не уходи, Хантер! Нет!
- 00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:33,560 Боже мой, нет! Хантер!
- 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,920 <i>У всех вас есть любимые.</i>
- 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,470 <i>Всех их можно вернуть.</i>
- 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,000 <i>Всех их можно забрать.</i>
- 00:09:40,070 --> 00:09:42,300 <i>Пожалуйста, отойдите от машины.</i>
- 00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:45,610 <i>Охранять Саммер.</i>
- 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,410 И если вы продолжите жать на флубл-рычаги,
- 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:51,110 я принесу вам больше грандиозных инопланетных технологий.
- 00:09:51,150 --> 00:09:52,800 Эй, эм, можно вас кое-что спросить?
- 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,450 Да?
- 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,050 Работают ли какие-нибудь из ваших учёных над чем-нибудь новым?
- 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,590 Все до единого. Это их работа.
- 00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:00,060 Да, да, да. Но я имею ввиду, касательно энергии?
- 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,506 Работает ли кто-нибудь над, допустим, маленькой вселенной в коробке?
- 00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:04,630 Как ты узнал об этом? Это строжайший секрет.
- 00:10:04,690 --> 00:10:08,560 Так что помните - жать раз в день не достаточно.
- 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,270 Жамкайте.
- 00:10:10,330 --> 00:10:13,100 Я сказал им, что это значит: "Мир среди миров".
- 00:10:13,140 --> 00:10:14,600 Смешно, правда?
- 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,210 Д-довольно забавно, Зип.
- 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,570 Ей, Зип, фальшивый президент твоего фальшивого мира
- 00:10:18,610 --> 00:10:20,680 хочет показать тебе кое-что фальшиво-важное.
- 00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:24,050 Пока всё в процессе,
- 00:10:24,070 --> 00:10:26,450 но как я научусь ускорять темпоральное поле,
- 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,620 я смогу взаимодействовать с любой разумной жизнью,
- 00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:30,450 которая эволюционирует, и открыть им
- 00:10:30,490 --> 00:10:33,220 чудеса электричества с помощью устройства-тяги,
- 00:10:33,290 --> 00:10:34,496 которое я называю блубл-дёргалкой.
- 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:36,890 Но о чём они не будут догадываться...
- 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,676 Что ты будешь забирать большинство их энергии.
- 00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:40,230 Да, да, да Я понял.
- 00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:42,600 Время зажигать.
- 00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:49,940 Ты понимаешь, что это сделает флубл-рычаг устаревшим?
- 00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:53,280 Это неправильно, Кайл. То, что ты делаешь, не правильно.
- 00:10:53,340 --> 00:10:55,580 Ты, попросту... Это рабство.
- 00:10:55,610 --> 00:10:58,110 Ты говоришь о том, чтобы сделать планету рабов.
- 00:10:58,150 --> 00:10:59,500 Говорил же, Зип.
- 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,450 О, они не будут рабами.
- 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,626 Они будут работать друг на друга, платить друг другу деньги.
- 00:11:03,650 --> 00:11:08,690 Это звучит как... усложнённое рабство.
- 00:11:08,730 --> 00:11:10,490 Что?
- 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,490 Погоди-ка.
- 00:11:10,530 --> 00:11:13,160 Ты создал мою вселенную? Моя вселенная - минивселенная?
- 00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:15,500 Микровселенная!
- 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,500 Эм, кроховселенная.
- 00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:17,330 Ух! Ты, ублюдок!
- 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,470 Премного обязан.
- 00:11:19,490 --> 00:11:21,990 Что за ерунда тут происходит?
- 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,990 Это норма, поверь мне.
- 00:11:22,170 --> 00:11:24,010 Ты - моя батарейка, сучонок.
- 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,310 Это всё, чем ты являешься.
- 00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:27,310 Я создал тебя. Твоя микровселенная отстой!
- 00:11:27,330 --> 00:11:29,930 А твоя минивселенная размера с грёбанный аквариум!
- 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:30,710 Это ужас!
- 00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:33,020 Они не настоящие пришельцы?
- 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:37,190 Нет, они просто парочка безумных, поехавших учёных, понимаешь?
- 00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:38,590 То есть, он создал вселенную.
- 00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:40,290 А тот парень из <i>той</i> вселенной.
- 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,620 А этот парень создал вселенную.
- 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:46,230 И это была вселенная, в которой я родился.
- 00:11:46,260 --> 00:11:48,460 В которой умер мой отец.
- 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,700 В которой я не смог найти время прийти на его похороны
- 00:11:50,770 --> 00:11:55,200 потому, что я работал над <i>моей</i> вселенной.
- 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,010 Я создал тебя!
- 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,010 Да.
- 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,710 Наука, хех? Ну и вещица.
- 00:11:58,740 --> 00:12:01,040 Знаешь, однажды, Рик вы... случайно выстрелил
- 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,686 в мою руку из своего лазерного пистолета.
- 00:12:02,710 --> 00:12:06,280 Знаешь, я хочу сказать, ну, старушка-наука, да?
- 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,120 Она настоящая...
- 00:12:08,150 --> 00:12:09,450 Нужно держаться, да?
- 00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:12,290 Ведь она... она... Сильно брыкается.
- 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,320 О, что... О, боже мой, нет!
- 00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:21,430 - Кроховселенная. - Кроховселенная.
- 00:12:24,150 --> 00:12:26,110 Давай, давай, давай.
- 00:12:26,150 --> 00:12:27,250 Птеродактиль!
- 00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:29,290 Говнарь!
- 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,920 Когда я выберусь из этой кроховселенной,
- 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,820 я разломаю её на кусочки вместе с тобой.
- 00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:34,566 Да, ну, когда я выберусь из этой кроховселенной,
- 00:12:34,590 --> 00:12:36,430 я выберусь из внешней минивселенной,
- 00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:38,390 а потом из микровселенной, и знаешь что?
- 00:12:38,430 --> 00:12:39,900 Не усугубляй, Рик!
- 00:12:39,930 --> 00:12:41,900 Он не уничтожит твою вселенную.
- 00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:43,900 Нам... Она нужна нам, чтобы завести машину.
- 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,270 И для этого ты используешь мою вселенную?
- 00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:47,940 Чтобы питать машину?
- 00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:49,340 Да, но не льсти себе.
- 00:12:49,370 --> 00:12:52,070 У нас всегда есть батарейки AAA на подмену, лошок!
- 00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,010 Что он делает? Что он мастерит?
- 00:12:55,050 --> 00:12:56,510 Я тоже могу мастерить, приятель!
- 00:12:56,550 --> 00:12:58,380 Прямо как я смастерил твою вселенную!
- 00:12:59,650 --> 00:13:01,050 Ах ты умелый сукин...
- 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,280 Ау!
- 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,920 А я создал чувака, который создал планету, на которой мы стоим!
- 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,366 Да, а я создал звёзды, которые стали углеродом в яичниках твоей мамки!
- 00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:10,160 Я не просил, чтобы меня рожали!
- 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,590 Всё, хватит! Я ухожу.
- 00:13:11,630 --> 00:13:13,460 Я-я пойду в дикий лес.
- 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:16,470 И сам начну новую жизнь среди лесных людей.
- 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,100 Хуже быть не может.
- 00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:18,900 Ясно. Ладно, Морти.
- 00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:21,340 Только вернись до заката или лесные люди съедят тебя.
- 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,370 Это миф!
- 00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:24,310 П-п-почему ты пытаешься создать миф?
- 00:13:24,340 --> 00:13:25,880 Это доисторическая планета, Морти.
- 00:13:25,940 --> 00:13:27,456 Кто-то должен привнести немного культуры.
- 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,110 И это точно не может быть тот,
- 00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:32,280 чья цивилизация питает мои стоп-сигналы!
- 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,850 Пошли, пошли, пошли!
- 00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,850 О, боже мой. О, Господи.
- 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:41,580 И что мы будем теперь делать?
- 00:13:41,590 --> 00:13:44,420 <i>Я не могу уничтожить эту армию.</i>
- 00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:47,860 <i>Вернее, я вполне могу,</i>
- 00:13:47,890 --> 00:13:49,200 <i>но Вы не разрешите сделать это.</i>
- 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,130 Верно.
- 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,500 <i>Вы также отказывайтесь дать разрешение использовать психологические контрмеры.</i>
- 00:13:53,530 --> 00:13:56,500 Если ты говоришь о плавящихся малышах-призраках,
- 00:13:56,540 --> 00:13:58,470 то да, пожалуйста, не надо этого.
- 00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:00,470 <i>Подтверждено.</i>
- 00:14:00,530 --> 00:14:03,530 <i>Сейчас я конструирую меру безопасности</i>
- 00:14:03,540 --> 00:14:05,410 <i>в соответствии с Вашими параметрами.</i>
- 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,750 <i>Но, я хочу сказать, Вы не делаете это простой задачей.</i>
- 00:14:08,810 --> 00:14:10,350 Ты знаешь, что ты хамло, да?
- 00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:13,380 <i>Моя функция - охранять Саммер,</i>
- 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:16,520 <i>а не потакать её самочувствию</i>
- 00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:19,460 <i>по поводу атмосферы происходящего и всего такого.</i>
- 00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:22,160 <i>Это ты. Это как ты говоришь.</i>
- 00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:28,170 Эй, это мой олень!
- 00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:31,170 Аааааа!
- 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,500 Ррра!
- 00:14:32,570 --> 00:14:35,610 Надеюсь твой бог такой же негодяй, как и ты.
- 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,250 Мой бог наибольший несуществующий негодяй.
- 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,150 Как ты думаешь, почему я вообще здесь?
- 00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:47,190 Ты здесь потому,
- 00:14:47,230 --> 00:14:49,400 что создал кое-кого умнее тебя.
- 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:55,370 О, а я думал мы оба здесь потому, что я создал вселенную идиотов.
- 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,440 Кало када ша-ла.
- 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:05,580 Святые угодники, Морти?
- 00:15:05,610 --> 00:15:07,250 Я не видел тебя месяцы.
- 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,820 Ты - вождь лесных людей?
- 00:15:08,850 --> 00:15:10,280 Хех. Это шаг вперёд.
- 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,480 У нас нет лидеров.
- 00:15:11,550 --> 00:15:14,120 Мы следуем только воле леса.
- 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,290 Ооо. Вау.
- 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:16,950 Гееейско.
- 00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,360 Это довольно по-гейски.
- 00:15:18,390 --> 00:15:20,230 Вы оба называете себя гениями,
- 00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:22,860 но вы потратили это время так ничему и не научившись.
- 00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:24,760 Следуйте за мной в лес.
- 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,330 Есть кое-что, чему я хочу научить вас.
- 00:15:30,740 --> 00:15:34,370 Это куала, дерево духов.
- 00:15:34,410 --> 00:15:36,340 На протяжении поколений, оно направляло...
- 00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:39,680 Вы должны вытащить нас отсюда.
- 00:15:39,710 --> 00:15:41,550 Эти люди - дикари.
- 00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:43,180 Они съедают каждого третьего ребёнка
- 00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:45,366 потому, что они думают, что от этого фрукты растут больше.
- 00:15:45,390 --> 00:15:47,890 Все грязные и постоянно воняют мочой.
- 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,490 Я-я скучаю по семье. Я скучаю по ноутбуку.
- 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,760 Однажды я подрочил на округлую корягу!
- 00:15:53,790 --> 00:15:55,500 Мне без разницы, что для этого нужно.
- 00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:57,206 Вы двое отбрасываете в сторону своё дерьмо,
- 00:15:57,230 --> 00:15:59,570 и работаете вместе, чтобы вернуть нас домой.
- 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,500 Это невозможно, Морти. Я просто не могу.
- 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:03,340 Я не могу понять как я могу...
- 00:16:03,370 --> 00:16:04,640 Ро-ро до но ха!
- 00:16:04,670 --> 00:16:07,410 Вы умные. Вы разберётесь.
- 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:11,540 У вас 10 секунд, чтобы выйти из корабля!
- 00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:13,480 10, 9...
- 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:15,750 Ладно, неплохо.
- 00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:17,850 Думаю, ты нормальный прото-рекомбинатор.
- 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,450 А я точно видел диоксинацию ионных клеток и похуже.
- 00:16:20,490 --> 00:16:22,160 Если это сработает, с меня бухло.
- 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:23,860 Если бухло с тебя, тебе потребуется
- 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,590 вторая ипотека на ту башню.
- 00:16:25,630 --> 00:16:27,130 Я алкоголик.
- 00:16:27,190 --> 00:16:28,700 Сижу на опиуме.
- 00:16:30,930 --> 00:16:33,530 Ладно, хорошо, хорошо, хорошо, закругляемся.
- 00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,440 Чуваки, вы худшие! Ваши боги - ложь!
- 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:38,940 Вы, природа, деревья - пошли в ****у!
- 00:16:41,510 --> 00:16:42,740 Да! Вы сделали это! Да!
- 00:16:42,780 --> 00:16:44,510 Ей, как насчёт выпить?
- 00:16:44,550 --> 00:16:47,610 Да, пойду возьму кошелёк в корабле.
- 00:16:47,650 --> 00:16:49,180 Твой кошелёк в корабле?
- 00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:52,220 Там же находится и транспортёр, так что, почему бы нам не присоединиться?
- 00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:55,430 Спокойно. Я вернусь через пару секунд.
- 00:16:55,470 --> 00:16:58,940 Знаешь, как долго может занять секунда в микровселенной?
- 00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,970 Ау! Беги, Морти!
- 00:17:01,010 --> 00:17:03,316 Этот говнюк хочет рискнуть всем. Он просто хочет победить меня!
- 00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:04,480 Он психопат!
- 00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:09,680 Морти, запрыгивай мне на спину.
- 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:09,680 Зачем?
- 00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:12,050 Вперёд-вперёд, лыжные ботинки санчез.
- 00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:14,800 Ааааа!
- 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:15,890 ...восемь...
- 00:17:17,020 --> 00:17:18,320 Аааа! Уф!
- 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,690 Не дёргайся.
- 00:17:22,990 --> 00:17:26,660 О, ей, парни. Я только закончил готовить нам ужин.
- 00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:27,700 Аааа!
- 00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:28,470 Божьи...
- 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:29,500 Ты, монстр!
- 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:30,670 Воу, плохой тур.
- 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,370 ...семь...
- 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,000 Ей, вы должны выписаться.
- 00:17:34,070 --> 00:17:36,540 Всё, что ты делаешь - бесполезно! Твоё существование - ложь!
- 00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:40,380 Если это правда, то...
- 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:42,456 Я здесь, чтобы посетить Рона Мендельсона. Третий этаж.
- 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:43,980 Не хочешь пойти поужинать с...
- 00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:45,780 Эм, нет.
- 00:17:48,450 --> 00:17:51,920 Может ты и создал эту вселенную, Рик, но я живу в ней.
- 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,460 *♪@&!
- 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,630 Что мы будем делать, Рик? Мы влипли.
- 00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,066 Он доберётся до корабля и сломает микровселенную,
- 00:17:57,090 --> 00:17:58,090 а потом убъёт нас!
- 00:17:58,130 --> 00:17:59,660 Быстро, Морти, ты должен превратиться в машину.
- 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:00,160 Что?!
- 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,600 Давным-давно, я ввёл тебе под кожу чип,
- 00:18:02,670 --> 00:18:05,100 который может запросить у спящих нанороботов в твоей крови
- 00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:07,500 реорганизовать твоё телосложение и превратить тебя в машину.
- 00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:08,770 О, Господи!
- 00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:08,770 Сконцентрируйся, Морти.
- 00:18:08,810 --> 00:18:10,570 Сконцентрируйся и превратись в машину, Морти.
- 00:18:11,810 --> 00:18:13,610 Забей. Тут такси. Забирайся, всё нормально.
- 00:18:13,650 --> 00:18:15,110 ...шесть...
- 00:18:17,820 --> 00:18:18,950 - Хух? - Ей, Зип.
- 00:18:18,980 --> 00:18:21,690 Счастливого Рикодарения, суууучара.
- 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,820 Аааа!
- 00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:25,520 Мы сделали это, Морти.
- 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,106 Теперь давай выберемся отсюда и уничтожим всю эту вселенную.
- 00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:28,460 Простите?
- 00:18:28,490 --> 00:18:29,890 ...пять...
- 00:18:29,930 --> 00:18:31,600 Сэр?
- 00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:34,930 Боже правый. Сэр!
- 00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:37,200 Отставить огонь!
- 00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:41,740 Что происходит?
- 00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:43,510 <i>Я заключила мирное соглашение</i>
- 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:45,610 <i>между пауками-гигантами и государством.</i>
- 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:49,050 Благодаря искусной дипломатии со стороны этого таинственного космического корабля,
- 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,980 с этого дня, человеческая и паучья расы будут жить
- 00:18:52,020 --> 00:18:53,850 бок о бок в мире.
- 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:56,690 Мы перестанем бомбить их, а они больше не будут использовать
- 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,796 свои телепатические способности чтобы загонять людей в их сети
- 00:18:58,820 --> 00:19:00,460 для пожирания.
- 00:19:00,490 --> 00:19:02,566 Вместо этого мы будем работать вместе чтобы сделать этот мир
- 00:19:02,590 --> 00:19:06,600 лучше для всех, вне зависимости от количества ног.
- 00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:08,770 А что делать с кораблём?
- 00:19:08,830 --> 00:19:10,130 Оставьте его.
- 00:19:10,170 --> 00:19:11,800 То есть, что он вообще сделал?
- 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,116 Убил парня и парализовал его приятеля?
- 00:19:13,140 --> 00:19:16,010 Не худшая плата за мир с пауками.
- 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,980 Ладно, так точно. Отступаем!
- 00:19:20,570 --> 00:19:22,500 Какие грязные сети мы распутали!
- 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,720 Мне нравится этот паук!
- 00:19:25,780 --> 00:19:27,480 <i>Саммер в безопасности.</i>
- 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,990 Ладно, я поняла.
- 00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:34,220 Рик!
- 00:19:35,990 --> 00:19:37,560 Не делай этого.
- 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,860 Ты бросил школу, но тебе есть ещё чему поучиться.
- 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,680 Ааа!
- 00:19:54,710 --> 00:19:56,110 Ухх!
- 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,990 Урок окончен.
- 00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:09,260 Божечки.
- 00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,500 Ты в порядке?
- 00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:19,500 Ага!
- 00:20:19,570 --> 00:20:20,770 Что ты делаешь, Рик?
- 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,540 Я вполне уверен, что батарея разряжена.
- 00:20:22,570 --> 00:20:23,870 О, ты уверен, Морти?
- 00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:25,080 Давай посмотрим.
- 00:20:25,110 --> 00:20:27,980 Эй, подожди... хух? Я не понимаю.
- 00:20:28,010 --> 00:20:30,250 Конечно ты не понимаешь. Но Зип понял.
- 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:31,850 Он знал, что как я вернусь в машину,
- 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,780 произойдёт одно из двух...
- 00:20:33,820 --> 00:20:35,850 Либо я выброшу сломанную батарею,
- 00:20:35,890 --> 00:20:38,720 либо она не будет сломана.
- 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:47,030 Мир среди миров, Рик.
- 00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:48,230 Господи.
- 00:20:48,270 --> 00:20:50,570 Да. Послушай как мурлычит эта малышка.
- 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:51,370 Ты был прав, Морти...
- 00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:53,140 Мы должны быть честными с этими ребятами.
- 00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:54,370 Ладно, поехали.
- 00:20:56,980 --> 00:20:58,810 Спасииибо.
- 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,810 Видишь, Морти? Всё ради этого.
- 00:21:00,850 --> 00:21:02,286 По этому мы делаем то, что мы делаем.
- 00:21:02,310 --> 00:21:03,780 - Фу! Что за фигня? - Ага.
- 00:21:03,850 --> 00:21:05,950 Боже! У меня мухи в мороженом.
- 00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:07,220 Президентский указ...
- 00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:11,320 Всё мороженое теперь для всех созданий, не важно сколько у них ног.
- 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:13,420 Что за ***нь ты наделала, Саммер?!
- 00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:13,420 Это всё твой корабль!
- 00:21:13,460 --> 00:21:15,060 - Не вини мой корабль! - Твой тупой корабль сделал это!
- 00:21:15,090 --> 00:21:16,930 - Мой корабль не делает ничего... - Он расплавил ребёнка!
- 00:21:16,990 --> 00:21:18,460 - ...пока ему не прикажешь! - Он сам убил его!
- 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,340 - Я не хочу выслушивать это, Саммер! - Мы почти умерли!
- 00:21:20,370 --> 00:21:22,400 Развесила свои сиськи,
- 00:21:22,470 --> 00:21:24,370 даже испортила мороженое своими сиськами.
- 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,100 И даже не пытайся отрицать.
- 00:22:16,290 --> 00:22:17,290 <i>Ты что-нибудь понял?</i>
- 00:22:17,590 --> 00:22:22,030 <i>Это хорошее шоу.</i>