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Аутоэротическая ассимиляция
Рик пытается ограбить повреждённый космический корабль вместе с Морти и Саммер. Они находят Юнити, коллективный разум и бывшую любовницу Рика. Она планирует в конечном итоге ассимилировать всю вселенную. Бета-7 — это мужской коллективный разум, влюблённый в Юнити, но та отвергает его. На планете, полностью ассимилированной Юнити, она и Рик вместе устраивают вечеринки, занимаются сексом, пьют и употребляют наркотики. В свете всего разгула она теряет контроль, и планета становится беспорядочной и заброшенной. Саммер считает ассимиляцию неэтичной, пока она и Морти не становятся свидетелями того, как некоторые жители после потери контроля над ними начинают расовую войну. В конце концов, Юнити решает оставить Рика ради собственного блага. Между тем, Бет и Джерри, находят секретную подземную комнату с похожим на слизня монстром. У пары возникает спор, в котором Джерри обвиняет Рика, а Бет пытается защитить своего отца. Монстр вырывается из цепей и обвиняет Бет и Джерри в худших отношениях, которые он когда-либо видел. Расстроенная Бет сталкивается с явно расстроенным Риком, который пытается покончить жизнь самоубийством в гараже, но терпит неудачу. В сцене после титров пьяный Рик пытается связаться с Юнити, но его блокирует Бета-7.
- 00:00:01,503 --> 00:00:03,046 ♪ Love ♪
- 00:00:03,129 --> 00:00:04,756 ♪ Connection ♪
- 00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:06,841 ♪ Experience ♪
- 00:00:06,925 --> 00:00:08,635 Yeah, Morty.
- 00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:10,970 ♪ Come together ♪
- 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:14,099 ♪ With love, connection, and experience ♪
- 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,351 - It's my favorite song. - Oh, yeah.
- 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:19,646 Oh, yeah, distress beacon!
- 00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:20,897 Yeah, baby!
- 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,357 You're excited about that?
- 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,880 The first rule of space travel, kids,
- 00:00:23,942 --> 00:00:25,694 is always check out distress beacons.
- 00:00:25,777 --> 00:00:27,779 9 out of 10 times, it's a ship full of dead aliens
- 00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,614 and a bunch of free shit!
- 00:00:29,698 --> 00:00:31,818 - Whoa! - 1 out of 10 times, it's a deadly trap,
- 00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:33,952 but I'm ready to roll those dice.
- 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:37,038 ♪♪
- 00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,712 Seems like something terrible happened here.
- 00:00:43,795 --> 00:00:45,046 Yep. Cha-ching.
- 00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:47,382 Oh, yeah, if you find a room full of eggs,
- 00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:48,675 don't shy away from it.
- 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,135 Give one of them a shake.
- 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,987 Those facehuggers are worth more than this ship.
- 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,096 - Uh, what's that?
- 00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:54,198 This'll make the cops write it up
- 00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:55,515 as a looting by the Korblocks.
- 00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:56,598 That's horrible.
- 00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,810 I hear you, man. Cops are racist.
- 00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:01,771 Oh, hey. You're alive. Thank god.
- 00:01:01,855 --> 00:01:03,398 Can you help us?
- 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:06,109 Our planet was taken over by some kind of... entity.
- 00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:07,944 It absorbed the minds of our people.
- 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:09,779 We didn't notice until it was too late.
- 00:01:09,863 --> 00:01:10,989 The people it takes over,
- 00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,490 they... they look like your friends,
- 00:01:12,574 --> 00:01:13,742 your family, your leaders,
- 00:01:13,825 --> 00:01:16,703 but they're not themselves anymore.
- 00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:19,080 They're part of... it.
- 00:01:19,164 --> 00:01:21,416 Then how do you know it didn't get on the ship with you?
- 00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,769 Those two dingdongs seem pretty calm about the whole thing.
- 00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,046 Hey, no! No, wait! Stop!
- 00:01:28,882 --> 00:01:29,882 Called it.
- 00:01:32,177 --> 00:01:33,595 Hello, Rick.
- 00:01:33,678 --> 00:01:34,888 Long time no see.
- 00:01:34,971 --> 00:01:35,847 Unity?
- 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:36,931 - Rick? - Grandpa?
- 00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:38,433 Oh, boy. Uh...
- 00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:39,910 these are my grandkids, Summer and Morty.
- 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:42,145 Summer, Morty, this is, uh, Unity.
- 00:01:42,228 --> 00:01:45,273 We sort of used to, uh... date.
- 00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:48,359 ♪♪
- 00:01:50,737 --> 00:01:51,738 ♪♪
- 00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,101 Quite an operation you got going here, Une.
- 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:11,633 You're a whole planet now, huh?
- 00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:12,926 After we broke up,
- 00:02:13,009 --> 00:02:14,844 I spent some time wandering through space.
- 00:02:14,928 --> 00:02:17,222 - Then I found this world... - ...where I was better able
- 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,891 to focus on my passion for unification.
- 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,476 You mean stealing people's bodies?
- 00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:22,894 Summer, rude.
- 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,039 Why don't you two kids go run off and play with Unity
- 00:02:25,063 --> 00:02:26,815 while Unity and I do some catching up.
- 00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:28,399 Ugh. No, wait, Rick,
- 00:02:28,483 --> 00:02:30,795 aren't these people gonna barf into our mouths and absorb us?
- 00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:32,153 You're guests here on my planet.
- 00:02:32,237 --> 00:02:33,655 You're free to be yourselves.
- 00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,865 I've never been any good at disappointing Rick.
- 00:02:35,949 --> 00:02:37,158 Well, now <i>I'm</i> going to barf.
- 00:02:37,242 --> 00:02:38,910 Come on, Morty.
- 00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,934 Jerry, what are you... What are you doing in here?
- 00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:47,752 I'm trying to find our weed whacker,
- 00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:50,380 'cause our weeds are wack, yo.
- 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:52,316 But you can't go in the garage when Rick's not here.
- 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,675 I "can't"?
- 00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:55,402 - Well, he doesn't like it. - What's he gonna do?
- 00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:57,971 Crash rent-free at his <i>other</i> family's house?
- 00:02:58,054 --> 00:02:59,114 What is that supposed to mean?
- 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,890 Your dad gets to walk all over us
- 00:03:00,974 --> 00:03:03,101 because of your abandonment issues.
- 00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,853 He's playing you, shorty.
- 00:03:04,936 --> 00:03:06,813 Oh, stop affecting that stupid hip-hop dialect.
- 00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:09,858 Stop shifting the cross hairs to my ironic urban patois
- 00:03:09,941 --> 00:03:11,818 just because your relationship with your father
- 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,695 is to' up from the flo' up.
- 00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:17,156 What the hell was that?
- 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,300 I don't know. Let's just leave.
- 00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,370 That is a hatch.
- 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,706 Your father put a hatch in my garage.
- 00:03:24,789 --> 00:03:26,124 You don't know it was him.
- 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,959 Anyway, we're not supposed to be in here.
- 00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:31,212 Obviously, neither is whatever's gurgling down there.
- 00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:37,385 "World peace achieved." Nice.
- 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,137 Little weird to publish a paper about it
- 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,096 for yourself, but hey.
- 00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:41,347 So, what's next?
- 00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:43,349 After I become a type-one civilization,
- 00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:47,061 this world will be invited into the Galactic Federation.
- 00:03:47,145 --> 00:03:48,146 Oh, goody.
- 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,248 From there, I'll have access to
- 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,065 countless planets and species.
- 00:03:51,149 --> 00:03:52,984 One by one, I will unify them,
- 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,277 I will become the universe,
- 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,279 and I will be what the single-minded
- 00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:57,362 once called a god.
- 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,823 I like that.
- 00:03:58,907 --> 00:04:00,408 Oh, that's pretty sexy.
- 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,428 Hey, listen, where can we get a drink around here?
- 00:04:02,452 --> 00:04:04,746 Recreational substances were phased out here.
- 00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,915 There's no need for escape from the self
- 00:04:06,998 --> 00:04:08,166 when your world is one.
- 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,792 Unity, Unity, who am I talking to?
- 00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:11,961 I watched you assimilate a whole police station
- 00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:14,130 just to get your hands on the evidence locker.
- 00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,716 Rick, when we met, I was a young hive mind
- 00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:19,594 with the population of a small town.
- 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:20,821 People change...
- 00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:22,045 Especially when I change them.
- 00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,348 I'm sorry to disappoint you,
- 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,016 but I've grown.
- 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,018 Hey, listen, I've grown, too.
- 00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,770 I have!
- 00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:30,539 See, I've... I've reconnected with my family, right?
- 00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,065 Hm. Why's that, I wonder?
- 00:04:32,148 --> 00:04:33,858 Maybe it's part of getting old.
- 00:04:33,942 --> 00:04:37,654 Maybe I just missed being with a collective.
- 00:04:39,155 --> 00:04:40,740 Yes, Rick. Yes.
- 00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:42,283 - Oh, yeah. - Yes. Yes.
- 00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:44,327 Wait, wait. Stop. Hold it.
- 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,037 Not like this.
- 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,038 We need a hang glider
- 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,432 and a crotchless Uncle Sam costume,
- 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,708 and I want the entire field of your largest stadium
- 00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:52,418 covered end to end with naked redheads,
- 00:04:52,502 --> 00:04:53,962 and I want the stands packed
- 00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:56,422 with every man that remotely resembles my father.
- 00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,347 Man, look at them go. So coordinated.
- 00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,849 What's your problem?
- 00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:08,533 They're making you into a Mount Rushmore.
- 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:09,811 They made burgers!
- 00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,062 Morty, open your eyes.
- 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,480 There is no "They."
- 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,941 These poor people's bodies are being used.
- 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,144 They're a planet of puppets.
- 00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:17,819 - I can hear you. - Ugh.
- 00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:20,363 Well, it seems like everybody here's cool with it.
- 00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:21,823 Except for all those redheads.
- 00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:23,199 They seem like they're in a hurry
- 00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,367 to be somewhere else.
- 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,536 Balloon, Summer? Balloon, Morty?
- 00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:28,538 No, we don't want your dumb balloons, okay?
- 00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:30,248 We're bored. Take us back to Rick.
- 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,083 Now's not a good time.
- 00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:34,961 Oh, yeah!
- 00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:37,880 I want yooooooou!
- 00:05:37,964 --> 00:05:39,132 Go, son, go!
- 00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:42,385 Go, son, go! Go, son, go!
- 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:46,014 Oh, real nice. <i>Real</i> nice.
- 00:05:46,097 --> 00:05:47,974 How does a man do this without me noticing?
- 00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,100 Oh, you know my dad
- 00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,411 once he puts his mind to something.
- 00:05:50,435 --> 00:05:52,020 You're spinning this to his credit?
- 00:05:54,647 --> 00:05:55,481 I'm going down there.
- 00:05:55,565 --> 00:05:57,191 - Jerry... - Beth, this is my house,
- 00:05:57,275 --> 00:05:59,402 which makes this my garage, my secret hatch,
- 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,989 my hidden subterranean lair, and my faceless gargler.
- 00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,741 Now, are you gonna keep hating this playa
- 00:06:04,824 --> 00:06:06,492 or are you gonna jack my steez?
- 00:06:06,576 --> 00:06:08,494 Okay, you're just making stuff up now.
- 00:06:08,578 --> 00:06:10,455 Ugh. Oh, my god.
- 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:11,831 Oh, my god.
- 00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,541 Ugh!
- 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,210 Oh, Rick. That was so bad.
- 00:06:16,294 --> 00:06:17,336 What's this "was" stuff?
- 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,713 I just need to hydrate,
- 00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:21,090 Then we're doing that again.
- 00:06:21,174 --> 00:06:22,934 - Oh, damn. - Listen, if this is an invasion,
- 00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,218 I got to sit this one out,
- 00:06:24,302 --> 00:06:26,182 but I'll be back to have sex with the survivors.
- 00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:27,972 It's a neighboring hive-mind species,
- 00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:29,098 Beta Seven.
- 00:06:29,182 --> 00:06:30,975 Our planets maintain a practical alliance
- 00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:32,685 for exchange of vital resources,
- 00:06:32,769 --> 00:06:34,437 so be nice.
- 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,521 Unity,
- 00:06:37,065 --> 00:06:38,691 is it a bad time?
- 00:06:38,775 --> 00:06:42,737 Are all present life forms assimilated?
- 00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,573 Beta Seven, this is my single-minded friend
- 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:46,741 from Earth, Rick.
- 00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,826 Rick Sanchez.
- 00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:50,578 Unity has spoken of you.
- 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,371 All bad, I hope. Ha ha!
- 00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,664 Bleeeeeeeeeh!
- 00:06:53,748 --> 00:06:55,041 Oh, Jesus Christ.
- 00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:57,710 Beta Seven, if my allies are a problem for you,
- 00:06:57,794 --> 00:06:59,670 perhaps our alliance is, as well.
- 00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:01,380 Our alliance is beneficial.
- 00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:03,424 When Beta Seven expresses concern,
- 00:07:03,508 --> 00:07:05,051 it... it's only be-because...
- 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:07,678 Oh, snap! Powdered neutronium?
- 00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:08,763 Amphetetron?
- 00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:10,598 You know I can make with this stuff?
- 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,850 Oh, Rick, I... I shouldn't.
- 00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:14,936 Come on. It's not every day that I'm town.
- 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,687 It's... It's for old time's sake.
- 00:07:16,771 --> 00:07:19,065 Uh... okay, what the hell.
- 00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,943 We can purify the resin and make fractal dust.
- 00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:24,529 Oh, I was thinking velocitinis, but...
- 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:27,532 Aw, old man Rick can't party with a whole planet?
- 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,662 I can do whatever you do and more, baby.
- 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,707 You know, I think Beta Seven over there
- 00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:39,001 is hoping your alliance can be more than practical.
- 00:07:39,085 --> 00:07:40,628 Stop.
- 00:07:44,674 --> 00:07:48,594 Well, this explains the $6,000 electric bill.
- 00:07:50,096 --> 00:07:51,097 Whoa!
- 00:07:53,683 --> 00:07:56,811 Well, nice<i>. Real</i> nice.
- 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,604 Alien prisoners under the house.
- 00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:00,064 <i>Real</i> nice.
- 00:08:00,148 --> 00:08:02,150 Nice. <i>Reeeeeeeeeeeeeal...</i>
- 00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,402 God damn it, stop.
- 00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:07,446 Wake up, people! You have to fight it!
- 00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:09,949 You're under the spell of an evil monster!
- 00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,785 - I can hear you. - Yeah, so you keep saying.
- 00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,913 - Summer! - Wake up!
- 00:08:15,997 --> 00:08:18,124 You have to have some individuality left in there!
- 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,500 Why do you hate me, Summer?
- 00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:21,085 I'm not talking to you.
- 00:08:21,169 --> 00:08:23,588 I'm talking to... Steven Phillips.
- 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,174 Steven, set yourself free.
- 00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:28,551 Summer, before I took over this planet,
- 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:31,137 this man was a registered sex offender.
- 00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,890 Yeah? Well, so what? At least he was himself.
- 00:08:33,973 --> 00:08:36,934 This woman was a drug addict on the verge of suicide.
- 00:08:37,018 --> 00:08:38,853 Now she's a marine biologist.
- 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,914 Listen, Unity, I don't think my sister's trying to say
- 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,291 that life would be perfect without you.
- 00:08:42,315 --> 00:08:44,001 I think she's just saying that life would be,
- 00:08:44,025 --> 00:08:45,276 you know, life.
- 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:48,112 I have transformed life here into a paradise.
- 00:08:48,196 --> 00:08:50,156 Prostitutes are now scientists.
- 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,408 The homeless are now "Phisosophers."
- 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,160 Oh. Oh. "Ph-phisosophers"? Nice.
- 00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:56,329 - Philopol... Phiphophopher... - Oh, my god.
- 00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,348 Where did you learn to talk, you grandpa-stealing slut?
- 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,374 I'm feeling...
- 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,377 Ugh.
- 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,671 Oh, man, let me help all of you guys up.
- 00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:07,715 I'm fine.
- 00:09:11,636 --> 00:09:14,013 Do you know what I love about you, Rick?
- 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,973 You're the only single mind I've met
- 00:09:16,057 --> 00:09:17,600 that really sees the big picture.
- 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,018 You got that right.
- 00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,603 But, baby, listen...
- 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,105 Y-you're talking about taking over planets and galaxies.
- 00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:24,565 You got to... Got to just remember
- 00:09:24,649 --> 00:09:26,067 to let go sometimes, you know?
- 00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,193 I can let go. Hey, look.
- 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,636 You see that town across the river?
- 00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:30,154 Watch this.
- 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,490 - Whoa! - Ha ha! Whoo!
- 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,075 Whoa! That's not what I meant!
- 00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:36,535 It's okay. It's okay.
- 00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:39,497 I evacuated. I evacuated the town. Look.
- 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,333 Hey! We're right here. We're fine.
- 00:09:46,504 --> 00:09:50,049 Oh, that was awesome.
- 00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:52,260 My... my grandkids weren't in that town, right?
- 00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:54,220 A-are my grandkids alive?
- 00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,347 M-my drink is empty.
- 00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:04,522 ♪♪
- 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:16,117 - Unity, what's happening? - Who's Unity?
- 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,744 You kids have nice feet. Mind if I take a picture?
- 00:10:18,828 --> 00:10:21,372 - Gross. No.
- 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,666 I think you're getting what you wanted, Summer.
- 00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:25,710 Something's happening to Unity.
- 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:28,504 Do all of you remember who you are?
- 00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:31,048 Yeah, uh, my name is Ron Benson.
- 00:10:31,132 --> 00:10:34,010 I'm an electrical engineer, father of two,
- 00:10:34,093 --> 00:10:37,680 and, as you can see from my flat, concentric nipple rings,
- 00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,224 I'm a member of this planet's top race!
- 00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:41,976 Okay, that's good.
- 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,437 Uh, don't focus too much on the last part, but...
- 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,398 I'm Daryl Jefferson. I'm a landscaper.
- 00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,025 And I'll be damned if
- 00:10:49,108 --> 00:10:51,402 that ripple-nipple bitch's race is superior!
- 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,404 The cone-nipple people will rule this world!
- 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,865 You shut your mouth, you dirty knife-nipple bastards.
- 00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:56,991 What'd you say to me,
- 00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,201 you target-chest piece of shit.
- 00:10:59,285 --> 00:11:01,037 Race war!
- 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:08,961 Ugh!
- 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,715 Why are you fighting?!
- 00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:15,009 Can't you see you're all the same?
- 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,510 Oh, Summer.
- 00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:18,012 First race war, huh?
- 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,228 Way to go, Summer. You started a race war.
- 00:11:26,312 --> 00:11:28,898 I didn't start it! They're the racists.
- 00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,232 I... I merely empowered them
- 00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:32,193 to follow their apparently misguided dreams.
- 00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:33,778 Okay, thanks for clarifying.
- 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,738 I'll have a super-accurate headstone now.
- 00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,090 Hey, wait... What race are you guys?
- 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,199 We're neither. S-see?
- 00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:39,909 Yeah, take my word for it.
- 00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:41,702 We just have regular nipples.
- 00:11:41,786 --> 00:11:44,121 Hey, these two freaks have no race!
- 00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:45,206 ♪♪
- 00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:51,837 Oh, there's no place like home.
- 00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:53,523 There's no place like home. Remember, Summer?
- 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,067 From Dorothy and the tiny people movie?
- 00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,258 Yes, yes.
- 00:11:56,342 --> 00:11:58,219 - All the tiny people. - Dorothy, take us away.
- 00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:01,722 ♪♪
- 00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,603 Hello, Summer. Hello, Morty.
- 00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:10,189 - It's okay. You're safe now. - Unity?
- 00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:13,401 - Yes. - Oh, Unity, I am so sorry.
- 00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:16,195 I didn't know freedom meant people doing stuff that sucks.
- 00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,696 I was thinking more of
- 00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,615 a choose your own cellphone-carrier thing.
- 00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,075 Oh, Summer, you did nothing wrong.
- 00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:22,785 I'm having fun with your grandpa.
- 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,078 Lost a little control.
- 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,330 Probably shouldn't be piloting a hovercopter,
- 00:12:26,414 --> 00:12:29,166 nor should I be running 200,000 pediatric hospitals
- 00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,668 and 12 million deep fryers,
- 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,071 but hey, it's not like this planet
- 00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:33,546 can take its business elsewhere.
- 00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:35,506 Um, should we maybe stop somewhere
- 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,966 and get you a coffee?
- 00:12:37,049 --> 00:12:39,009 Maybe splash a little water on your face, or...
- 00:12:39,093 --> 00:12:40,928 No, no, if I wanted to be sober,
- 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,721 I wouldn't have gotten drunk.
- 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:43,806 Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- 00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,520 Oh, man. I cannot wait...
- 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,648 I cannot wait to hear Rick explain his way around this.
- 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,983 He is gone.
- 00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:55,276 Jerry, stop, please, okay?
- 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,920 We weren't even supposed to be down here.
- 00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,184 If we confront him about this...
- 00:12:58,237 --> 00:12:59,780 Oh, my god! I love this.
- 00:12:59,864 --> 00:13:02,283 I love that this is how far you will go for him.
- 00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:04,660 You want to go upstairs and cut carrots
- 00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:06,287 and watch a Lifetime original
- 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,873 above a fucking alien dungeon!
- 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,792 Your relationship with your father is psychotic.
- 00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:13,294 Oh, listen to you relish the idea
- 00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:15,171 that my genius father is a bad person.
- 00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:16,881 Step out of your ego for a second
- 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,841 and look at this thing... It's a monster.
- 00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:20,176 He might have it chained up
- 00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:21,760 so that it doesn't eat the planet!
- 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,013 Right, because your father's such an altruist?
- 00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:27,683 I once saw him briefly forget the word for "Humans."
- 00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,894 He's probably harvesting this creature's organs.
- 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,896 He's probably racing to cure its space AIDS.
- 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,248 - He's going to eat it! - He's protecting it!
- 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,649 Shut up!
- 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,069 Whoa!
- 00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:40,988 Unity, this place is a mess.
- 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,198 Oh, it's cool.
- 00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:43,300 The part of me that's the cleaning lady
- 00:13:43,324 --> 00:13:44,658 is coming on Friday.
- 00:13:44,742 --> 00:13:46,327 Oh, my god. I have a meeting
- 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,245 at the Galactic Federation in an hour.
- 00:13:48,329 --> 00:13:49,330 Oh, I'll never make it.
- 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,956 Ah, I'll push it to next week.
- 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,000 Unity, could you get Rick out here, please?
- 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,627 He's unavailable. He's...
- 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,337 having sex with you. We get it. Gross.
- 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,671 Get him out here now.
- 00:13:57,755 --> 00:13:58,857 I don't think he wants to be...
- 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:01,050 - Grandpa Rick! - Rick! Rick!
- 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,843 I'm gonna tell mom and dad about the gagoo
- 00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:04,321 you have locked up under the garage!
- 00:14:04,345 --> 00:14:06,889 What the hell is your problem?
- 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,933 Grandpa, we need to go home, now.
- 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,809 Fine. Sheesh.
- 00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:14,897 See you.
- 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,690 Uh, Rick, I think we should <i>all</i> go.
- 00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:19,044 Tend to your garden, kids. I'm kind of doing a thing here.
- 00:14:19,068 --> 00:14:21,153 Whoo!
- 00:14:21,237 --> 00:14:23,072 Grandpa Rick, we're not leaving without you.
- 00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,074 Oh, my god, you guys. I get it.
- 00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:27,243 You're afraid the big, bad hive mind
- 00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:29,370 is gonna steal your grandpa away.
- 00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:30,955 Actually, no. I think Unity's great
- 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,706 and you're a horrible influence on it.
- 00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:34,375 - What? - This isn't healthy, Rick.
- 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:37,002 You know, you're... You're really up to no good
- 00:14:37,086 --> 00:14:39,088 around here a-at this place, you know?
- 00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:40,339 You and Unity are like...
- 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,091 Like leggings and mid-calf boots.
- 00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,759 You think you're great together,
- 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,136 but you're just bringing out the worst in each other.
- 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,764 Oh, gee. Boy, Summer. Well put.
- 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,641 Uh, why don't we see what Unity thinks?
- 00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,725 Unity?
- 00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:53,769 I'm just taking a little break from stuff.
- 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:55,813 You know? I need to relax.
- 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,940 Oh, hey, w-what's this on the news, guys?
- 00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,149 L-I-let me turn it up.
- 00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:00,651 <i>In the news today,</i>
- 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,319 <i>this looks a lot worse than it is.</i>
- 00:15:02,403 --> 00:15:04,029 <i>We're really just having a good time.</i>
- 00:15:04,113 --> 00:15:05,447 <i>Karen? Thanks, Todd.</i>
- 00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:07,366 <i>Up next, are you a concerned grandchild</i>
- 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,034 <i>or just a buzzkill?</i>
- 00:15:09,118 --> 00:15:10,953 <i>We'll tell you how you can know for sure.</i>
- 00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,955 I think you two are a little outnumbered.
- 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,124 Okay, well, what if you did it for me?
- 00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:17,376 What if you came with us as a favor to us
- 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,086 because you love us?
- 00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,838 What? Dumb. Bye.
- 00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,256 But Rick, Summer's just...
- 00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,150 Summer's just a hyper-emotional, needy little...
- 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,485 What's the word I'm looking for here?
- 00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:26,510 Uh... human.
- 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,095 It runs in the family.
- 00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,263 I can tolerate it,
- 00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,574 but I can't give a crap about it.
- 00:15:30,598 --> 00:15:32,099 Take a hike.
- 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:35,102 Take care of yourself, Unity.
- 00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,441 I'm not looking for judgment, just a yes or no...
- 00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:42,401 Can you assimilate a giraffe?
- 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,277 You're the worst!
- 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,113 No, you're the worst! You don't support this family!
- 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,573 All you care about is yourself!
- 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:48,925 You think supporting the family is about supporting you emotionally...
- 00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,552 you've got two children being dragged across the cosmos
- 00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:51,970 ...because it's never enough, Jerry!
- 00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,179 ...by your dangerously ill father!
- 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,472 And you force me to watch it happen...
- 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,999 ...because you'd rather lose them and lose me...
- 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,518 ...it's like to be afraid of losing anything...
- 00:15:58,542 --> 00:15:59,603 - than lose him! - Because you cling...
- 00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:00,645 And why? Because you're the child, Beth!
- 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:03,547 You, not me! You!
- 00:16:03,631 --> 00:16:05,174 - Aah! - Aah!
- 00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,759 - Oh, my god. - Aah!
- 00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,350 Um, first of all, hello.
- 00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:16,518 Uh, my name is Blim Blam the Korblok.
- 00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:18,395 Second of all, cards on the table,
- 00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:20,189 I'm a murderer that eats babies,
- 00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,775 and I came to this planet to eat babies.
- 00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:27,613 However, I am also carrying a highly infectious disease
- 00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:30,991 that I suppose you could call "Space AIDS" as you put it.
- 00:16:31,075 --> 00:16:32,201 And Rick did chain me up
- 00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,203 so that he could attempt to cure it.
- 00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,330 At the same time,
- 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,332 Rick's motivation to cure my disease
- 00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,501 was not to save my life or anyone else's,
- 00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:43,754 but to patent and sell the cure for billions of blemflarcks.
- 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,297 But you know the reason <i>why</i>
- 00:16:45,381 --> 00:16:47,341 I ripped my chains out of the wall?
- 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:50,219 And do you know <i>why</i> I'm never coming back to this planet?
- 00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:54,181 Because the two of you are the fucking worst!
- 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:56,850 You both hate yourselves <i>and</i> each other.
- 00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:59,186 And the idea that it has anything to do with Rick
- 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,813 is laughable.
- 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,065 I'd laugh, but I'm biologically incapable.
- 00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,858 <i>That's</i> how alien I am.
- 00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:07,319 And even I'm sitting here listening to the two of you
- 00:17:07,403 --> 00:17:10,239 and being like, "What the fuck"!
- 00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:12,449 So good luck with your shitty marriage,
- 00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:15,577 and tell Rick I'm sorry he has to deal with <i>either</i> of you.
- 00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:18,038 Blim Blam out.
- 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,379 You know what? I'm taking this.
- 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:31,552 How do you... What is this?
- 00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:37,015 Uh, is there a slow setting?
- 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:40,018 Best door ever.
- 00:17:47,443 --> 00:17:50,529 Okay, okay. Now make them cry, but happy crying.
- 00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,823 Now make them all make fun of the blonde one.
- 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,342 Now make them all do it on the table.
- 00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:56,535 I can't believe you created a whole show for me.
- 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,162 Now cancel it.
- 00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,288 Okay, now put it back on.
- 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,957 All right, I'm bored.
- 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,459 Rick, is there a way for you
- 00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:05,085 to call Summer and Morty?
- 00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:07,504 - I feel bad that they... - Pbht. Screw those guys.
- 00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:10,007 Ugh. I'll be right back.
- 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,134 Don't waste your brain on those weirdos, Unity.
- 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:13,236 They're no different from any of the aimless
- 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,553 chumps that you occupy.
- 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,114 They just put you at the center of their lives
- 00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,306 because you're powerful.
- 00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:18,891 And then because <i>they</i> put you there,
- 00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:20,294 they want you to be less powerful.
- 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,411 Never gonna happen though, right?
- 00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:22,519 <i>Never.</i>
- 00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:24,605 Never. Back in a flash.
- 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,612 Best weekend ever, Rick.
- 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:35,032 I agree, Rick. Let's see how long we can go.
- 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,951 Hey, Une. You got any more...
- 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,956 <i>Rick, forgive me for doing this in notes.</i>
- 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,543 <i>I'm not strong enough to do it in persons.</i>
- 00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:48,313 <i>I realize now that I'm attracted to you</i>
- 00:18:48,337 --> 00:18:50,589 <i>for the same reason I can't be with you.</i>
- 00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,257 <i>You can't change.</i>
- 00:18:52,341 --> 00:18:54,551 <i>And I have no problem with that,</i>
- 00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:57,471 <i>but it clearly means I have a problem with myself.</i>
- 00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,914 <i>I'm sure there's no perfect version of me.</i>
- 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,726 <i>I'm sure I'lljust unify species after species</i>
- 00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:04,561 <i>and never really be complete.</i>
- 00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,565 <i>But I know how it goes with us.</i>
- 00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:09,525 <i>I lose who I am and become part of you.</i>
- 00:19:09,608 --> 00:19:10,943 <i>Because in a strange way,</i>
- 00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:13,612 <i>you're better at what I do without even trying.</i>
- 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:18,659 <i>Yours, and nobody else's, Unity.</i>
- 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,329 <i>P. S., I don't know where those coal miners were</i>
- 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,572 <i>before they were assimilated.</i>
- 00:19:23,622 --> 00:19:25,165 <i>You might want to get checked.</i>
- 00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:26,267 Man:
- 00:19:28,377 --> 00:19:29,378 Hey.
- 00:19:30,504 --> 00:19:31,672 Dad.
- 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:36,510 I, um... Jerry and I
- 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:39,179 were looking for our weed whacker
- 00:19:39,263 --> 00:19:41,723 and found your subterranean lair
- 00:19:41,807 --> 00:19:44,309 and your alien prisoner,
- 00:19:44,393 --> 00:19:46,270 and he got away.
- 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,729 And I know I sound like mom,
- 00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:49,624 but I can't sacrifice this whole family's safety
- 00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:51,483 just because I'm afraid you'll leave again,
- 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,402 so no more alien prisoners
- 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,196 and no more subterranean excavation
- 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,698 without consulting us.
- 00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,783 - Okay. - Okay?
- 00:20:00,117 --> 00:20:03,036 "Okay"... like you're gonna quietly teleport somewhere
- 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,414 and never come back? - No. It's your house.
- 00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,625 Grandpa Rick, what happened with Unity?
- 00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:11,336 Who? Oh, Unity. Yeah, well...
- 00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,231 I mean, honestly, we're talking about an entity
- 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:14,607 that thrives on enslavement, you know?
- 00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,717 It's not cool. Fun's fun, but who needs it?
- 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,218 I'll be in the garage.
- 00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,400 ♪ Lay it, lay it down ♪
- 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,319 ♪ Let me see your hand ♪
- 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,821 ♪ Show me what you got ♪
- 00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:40,324 ♪ You're always talking ♪
- 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,075 ♪ But you're not playing ♪
- 00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:44,703 ♪ It doesn't match your face ♪
- 00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:49,249 ♪ Get them away, away from this place ♪
- 00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:52,502 ♪ Can you take me now? ♪
- 00:20:52,586 --> 00:20:54,421 ♪ I, I want it ♪
- 00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,006 ♪ I want it real ♪
- 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,425 ♪ Are you afraid of me now? ♪
- 00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,011 ♪♪
- 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,764 ♪ Are you afraid of me now? ♪
- 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,223 ♪ Do you feel it? ♪
- 00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:07,267 ♪ Do you feel it? ♪
- 00:21:07,351 --> 00:21:10,854 ♪ Do you feel that I can see your soul? ♪
- 00:21:10,938 --> 00:21:12,189 ♪ Do you feel it? ♪
- 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,441 ♪ Do you feel it? ♪
- 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,777 ♪ Do you feel the pain in your heart? ♪
- 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:18,111 ♪ I, I want it ♪
- 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,197 ♪ I want it real ♪
- 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,741 ♪ Run away with me now ♪
- 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:24,868 ♪ I, I want it ♪
- 00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,537 ♪ I want it real ♪
- 00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:29,539 ♪ Run away with me now ♪
- 00:21:29,623 --> 00:21:32,000 ♪ Ah, ah ♪
- 00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:36,380 ♪♪
- 00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,556 ♪ Don't leave me ♪
- 00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:51,269 ♪ Never leave me out ♪
- 00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:53,563 ♪ Don't leave me ♪
- 00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:59,277 ♪ Never leave me out ♪
- 00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:06,827 Unity! Unity!
- 00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,286 Unity!
- 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:10,163 How can I assist you?
- 00:22:10,247 --> 00:22:12,457 I want to talk to Unity, Beta Seven.
- 00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:13,625 I know it's in there.
- 00:22:13,709 --> 00:22:15,252 You're classified as a hostile entity,
- 00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,962 and Unity doesn't want to talk to you.
- 00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:17,963 I know your game, Beta Seven.
- 00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:19,214 I've met a billion of you,
- 00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:21,508 you little on-deck, in-the-wings shoulder to cry on!
- 00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:24,678 <i>You</i> are classified as a hostile entity.
- 00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:26,239 Oh, you're just loving this, mother...
- 00:22:26,263 --> 00:22:28,265 This isn't gonna shake out like you think, pal.
- 00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:29,659 Unity's not into other hive minds.
- 00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:31,184 It's gonna suck you in and use you up,
- 00:22:31,268 --> 00:22:32,477 and a month from now,
- 00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:33,621 I'm gonna be making out with all of you
- 00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:34,521 in a bunch of red wigs!
- 00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:36,606 Unity! Unity!
- 00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:39,317 Unity, I know you can hear me. Get out here.
- 00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:40,670 Weapons systems engaged.
- 00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:42,404 Oh, in your dreams you have weapon systems.
- 00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:44,823 Ugh, Rick, you said we were going to a movie.
- 00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:45,824 We are, Morty.
- 00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:47,576 All right, Beta shit Seven,
- 00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,619 you just got saved by the bell, bitch!
- 00:22:51,288 --> 00:22:52,622 Did you get any of that?
- 00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:54,082 It's-a good show-a.
- 00:00:01,503 --> 00:00:03,046 ALL: ♪ Love ♪
- 00:00:03,129 --> 00:00:04,756 ♪ Connection ♪
- 00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:06,841 ♪ Experience ♪
- 00:00:06,925 --> 00:00:08,635 Yeah, Morty.
- 00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:10,970 ♪ Come together ♪
- 00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:14,099 ♪ With love, connection, and experience ♪
- 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,351 - It's my favorite song. - [laughing] Oh, yeah.
- 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:19,646 - [Alarm beeps] - Oh, yeah, distress beacon!
- 00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:20,897 [Belches] Yeah, baby!
- 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,357 You're excited about that?
- 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,880 The first rule of space travel, kids,
- 00:00:23,942 --> 00:00:25,694 is always check out distress beacons.
- 00:00:25,777 --> 00:00:27,779 9 out of 10 times, it's a ship full of dead aliens
- 00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,614 and a bunch of free shit!
- 00:00:29,698 --> 00:00:31,818 - BOTH: Whoa! - 1 out of 10 times, it's a deadly trap,
- 00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:33,952 but I'm ready to roll those dice.
- 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:37,038 ♪♪
- 00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,712 Seems like something terrible happened here.
- 00:00:43,795 --> 00:00:45,046 Yep. Cha-ching.
- 00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:47,382 Oh, yeah, if you find a room full of eggs,
- 00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:48,675 don't shy away from it.
- 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,135 Give one of them a shake.
- 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,987 Those facehuggers are worth more than this ship.
- 00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,096 - Uh, what's that?
- 00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:54,198 This'll make the cops write it up
- 00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:55,515 as a looting by the Korblocks.
- 00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:56,598 That's horrible.
- 00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,810 I hear you, man. Cops are racist.
- 00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:01,771 Oh, hey. You're alive. Thank god.
- 00:01:01,855 --> 00:01:03,398 Can you help us?
- 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:06,109 Our planet was taken over by some kind of... entity.
- 00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:07,944 It absorbed the minds of our people.
- 00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:09,779 We didn't notice until it was too late.
- 00:01:09,863 --> 00:01:10,989 The people it takes over,
- 00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,490 they... they look like your friends,
- 00:01:12,574 --> 00:01:13,742 your family, your leaders,
- 00:01:13,825 --> 00:01:16,703 but they're not themselves anymore.
- 00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:19,080 They're part of... it.
- 00:01:19,164 --> 00:01:21,416 Then how do you know it didn't get on the ship with you?
- 00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,769 Those two dingdongs seem pretty calm about the whole thing.
- 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,420 [Both screech]
- 00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,046 Hey, no! No, wait! Stop!
- 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,131 [Screaming]
- 00:01:28,882 --> 00:01:29,882 Called it.
- 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:30,925 [Gurgles]
- 00:01:31,176 --> 00:01:32,093 [Ray gun beeps]
- 00:01:32,177 --> 00:01:33,595 ALL: Hello, Rick.
- 00:01:33,678 --> 00:01:34,888 Long time no see.
- 00:01:34,971 --> 00:01:35,847 Unity?
- 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:36,931 - Rick? - Grandpa?
- 00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:38,433 Oh, boy. Uh...
- 00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:39,910 these are my grandkids, Summer and Morty.
- 00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:42,145 Summer, Morty, this is, uh, Unity.
- 00:01:42,228 --> 00:01:45,273 We sort of used to, uh... date.
- 00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:48,359 ♪♪
- 00:01:50,737 --> 00:01:51,738 ♪♪
- 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,409 [Dog panting]
- 00:02:02,791 --> 00:02:05,084 [Engine hums in distance]
- 00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,101 Quite an operation you got going here, Une.
- 00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:11,633 You're a whole planet now, huh?
- 00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:12,926 After we broke up,
- 00:02:13,009 --> 00:02:14,844 I spent some time wandering through space.
- 00:02:14,928 --> 00:02:17,222 - Then I found this world... - ...where I was better able
- 00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,891 to focus on my passion for unification.
- 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,476 You mean stealing people's bodies?
- 00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:22,894 Summer, rude.
- 00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,039 Why don't you two kids go run off and play with Unity
- 00:02:25,063 --> 00:02:26,815 while Unity and I do some catching up.
- 00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:28,399 Ugh. No, wait, Rick,
- 00:02:28,483 --> 00:02:30,795 aren't these people gonna barf into our mouths and absorb us?
- 00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:32,153 You're guests here on my planet.
- 00:02:32,237 --> 00:02:33,655 You're free to be yourselves.
- 00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,865 I've never been any good at disappointing Rick.
- 00:02:35,949 --> 00:02:37,158 Well, now <i>I'm</i> going to barf.
- 00:02:37,242 --> 00:02:38,910 Come on, Morty.
- 00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,934 Jerry, what are you... What are you doing in here?
- 00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:47,752 I'm trying to find our weed whacker,
- 00:02:47,836 --> 00:02:50,380 'cause our weeds are wack, yo.
- 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:52,316 But you can't go in the garage when Rick's not here.
- 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,675 I "can't"?
- 00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:55,402 - Well, he doesn't like it. - What's he gonna do?
- 00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:57,971 Crash rent-free at his <i>other</i> family's house?
- 00:02:58,054 --> 00:02:59,114 BETH: What is that supposed to mean?
- 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,890 Your dad gets to walk all over us
- 00:03:00,974 --> 00:03:03,101 because of your abandonment issues.
- 00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,853 He's playing you, shorty.
- 00:03:04,936 --> 00:03:06,813 Oh, stop affecting that stupid hip-hop dialect.
- 00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:09,858 Stop shifting the cross hairs to my ironic urban patois
- 00:03:09,941 --> 00:03:11,818 just because your relationship with your father
- 00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,695 is to' up from the flo' up.
- 00:03:13,778 --> 00:03:14,779 [Screeching]
- 00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:17,156 What the hell was that?
- 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,300 I don't know. Let's just leave.
- 00:03:18,324 --> 00:03:19,325 [Gurgling]
- 00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,370 That is a hatch.
- 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,706 Your father put a hatch in my garage.
- 00:03:24,789 --> 00:03:26,124 You don't know it was him.
- 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,959 Anyway, we're not supposed to be in here.
- 00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:31,212 Obviously, neither is whatever's gurgling down there.
- 00:03:31,296 --> 00:03:33,047 [Screech, gurgle]
- 00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:37,385 "World peace achieved." Nice.
- 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,137 Little weird to publish a paper about it
- 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,096 for yourself, but hey.
- 00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:41,347 So, what's next?
- 00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:43,349 After I become a type-one civilization,
- 00:03:43,433 --> 00:03:47,061 this world will be invited into the Galactic Federation.
- 00:03:47,145 --> 00:03:48,146 Oh, goody.
- 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,248 From there, I'll have access to
- 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,065 countless planets and species.
- 00:03:51,149 --> 00:03:52,984 One by one, I will unify them,
- 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,277 I will become the universe,
- 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,279 and I will be what the single-minded
- 00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:57,362 once called a god.
- 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,823 [Belches] I like that.
- 00:03:58,907 --> 00:04:00,408 Oh, that's pretty sexy.
- 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,428 Hey, listen, where can we get a drink around here?
- 00:04:02,452 --> 00:04:04,746 Recreational substances were phased out here.
- 00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,915 There's no need for escape from the self
- 00:04:06,998 --> 00:04:08,166 when your world is one.
- 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,792 Unity, Unity, who am I talking to?
- 00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:11,961 I watched you assimilate a whole police station
- 00:04:12,045 --> 00:04:14,130 just to get your hands on the evidence locker.
- 00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,716 Rick, when we met, I was a young hive mind
- 00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:19,594 with the population of a small town.
- 00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:20,821 - People change... - [engine turns over]
- 00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:22,045 Especially when I change them.
- 00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,348 I'm sorry to disappoint you,
- 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,016 but I've grown.
- 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,018 Hey, listen, I've grown, too.
- 00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,770 I have!
- 00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:30,539 See, I've... I've reconnected with my family, right?
- 00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,065 Hm. Why's that, I wonder?
- 00:04:32,148 --> 00:04:33,858 Maybe it's part of getting old.
- 00:04:33,942 --> 00:04:37,654 Maybe I just missed being with a collective.
- 00:04:37,737 --> 00:04:38,738 [Moaning]
- 00:04:39,155 --> 00:04:40,740 ALL: Yes, Rick. Yes.
- 00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:42,283 - Oh, yeah. - Yes. Yes.
- 00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:44,327 Wait, wait. Stop. Hold it.
- 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,037 Not like this.
- 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,038 We need a hang glider
- 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,432 and a crotchless Uncle Sam costume,
- 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,708 and I want the entire field of your largest stadium
- 00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:52,418 covered end to end with naked redheads,
- 00:04:52,502 --> 00:04:53,962 and I want the stands packed
- 00:04:54,045 --> 00:04:56,422 with every man that remotely resembles my father.
- 00:04:56,506 --> 00:04:59,550 [Triumphant music plays]
- 00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,347 Man, look at them go. So coordinated.
- 00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,849 [Gulps] What's your problem?
- 00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:08,533 They're making you into a Mount Rushmore.
- 00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:09,811 They made burgers!
- 00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,062 Morty, open your eyes.
- 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,480 There is no "They."
- 00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,941 These poor people's bodies are being used.
- 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,144 They're a planet of puppets.
- 00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:17,819 - I can hear you. - Ugh.
- 00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:20,363 Well, it seems like everybody here's cool with it.
- 00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:21,823 Except for all those redheads.
- 00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:23,199 They seem like they're in a hurry
- 00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,367 to be somewhere else.
- 00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,536 Balloon, Summer? Balloon, Morty?
- 00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:28,538 No, we don't want your dumb balloons, okay?
- 00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:30,248 We're bored. Take us back to Rick.
- 00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,083 Now's not a good time.
- 00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:34,961 Oh, yeah!
- 00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:37,880 I want yooooooou!
- 00:05:37,964 --> 00:05:39,132 ALL: [chanting] Go, son, go!
- 00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:42,385 Go, son, go! Go, son, go!
- 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:46,014 Oh, real nice. <i>Real</i> nice.
- 00:05:46,097 --> 00:05:47,974 How does a man do this without me noticing?
- 00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,100 Oh, you know my dad
- 00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,411 once he puts his mind to something.
- 00:05:50,435 --> 00:05:52,020 You're spinning this to his credit?
- 00:05:52,103 --> 00:05:54,105 [Screeching, gurgling]
- 00:05:54,647 --> 00:05:55,481 I'm going down there.
- 00:05:55,565 --> 00:05:57,191 - Jerry... - Beth, this is my house,
- 00:05:57,275 --> 00:05:59,402 which makes this my garage, my secret hatch,
- 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,989 my hidden subterranean lair, and my faceless gargler.
- 00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,741 Now, are you gonna keep hating this playa
- 00:06:04,824 --> 00:06:06,492 or are you gonna jack my steez?
- 00:06:06,576 --> 00:06:08,494 Okay, you're just making stuff up now.
- 00:06:08,578 --> 00:06:10,455 - [Applause] - Ugh. Oh, my god.
- 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:11,831 Oh, my god.
- 00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,541 - Ugh! - [glug! glug! glug!]
- 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,210 Oh, Rick. That was so bad.
- 00:06:16,294 --> 00:06:17,336 What's this "was" stuff?
- 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,713 I just need to hydrate,
- 00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:21,090 - Then we're doing that again. - [spaceships whir]
- 00:06:21,174 --> 00:06:22,934 - Oh, damn. - Listen, if this is an invasion,
- 00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,218 I got to sit this one out,
- 00:06:24,302 --> 00:06:26,182 but I'll be back to have sex with the survivors.
- 00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:27,972 It's a neighboring hive-mind species,
- 00:06:28,056 --> 00:06:29,098 Beta Seven.
- 00:06:29,182 --> 00:06:30,975 Our planets maintain a practical alliance
- 00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:32,685 for exchange of vital resources,
- 00:06:32,769 --> 00:06:34,437 so be nice.
- 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,521 Unity,
- 00:06:37,065 --> 00:06:38,691 is it a bad time?
- 00:06:38,775 --> 00:06:42,737 Are all present life forms assimilated?
- 00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,573 Beta Seven, this is my single-minded friend
- 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:46,741 from Earth, Rick.
- 00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,826 Rick Sanchez.
- 00:06:49,452 --> 00:06:50,578 Unity has spoken of you.
- 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,371 All bad, I hope. Ha ha!
- 00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,664 ALL: Bleeeeeeeeeh!
- 00:06:53,748 --> 00:06:55,041 Oh, Jesus Christ.
- 00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:57,710 Beta Seven, if my allies are a problem for you,
- 00:06:57,794 --> 00:06:59,670 perhaps our alliance is, as well.
- 00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:01,380 Our alliance is beneficial.
- 00:07:01,464 --> 00:07:03,424 When Beta Seven expresses concern,
- 00:07:03,508 --> 00:07:05,051 it... it's only be-because...
- 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:07,678 RICK: Oh, snap! Powdered neutronium?
- 00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:08,763 Amphetetron?
- 00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:10,598 You know I can make with this stuff?
- 00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,850 Oh, Rick, I... I shouldn't.
- 00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:14,936 Come on. It's not every day that I'm town.
- 00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,687 It's... It's for old time's sake.
- 00:07:16,771 --> 00:07:19,065 Uh... okay, what the hell.
- 00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,943 We can purify the resin and make fractal dust.
- 00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:24,529 Oh, I was thinking velocitinis, but...
- 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:27,532 Aw, old man Rick can't party with a whole planet?
- 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,367 [Both laugh]
- 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,662 I can do whatever you do and more, baby.
- 00:07:32,745 --> 00:07:34,497 [All groaning]
- 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,707 You know, I think [belches] Beta Seven over there
- 00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:39,001 is hoping your alliance can be more than practical.
- 00:07:39,085 --> 00:07:40,628 [laughing] Stop.
- 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:41,712 [laughter]
- 00:07:44,674 --> 00:07:48,594 Well, this explains the $6,000 electric bill.
- 00:07:50,096 --> 00:07:51,097 Whoa!
- 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:52,598 [Screeches]
- 00:07:53,683 --> 00:07:56,811 Well, nice<i>. Real</i> nice.
- 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,604 Alien prisoners under the house.
- 00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:00,064 <i>Real</i> nice.
- 00:08:00,148 --> 00:08:02,150 Nice. <i>Reeeeeeeeeeeeeal...</i>
- 00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,402 God damn it, stop.
- 00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:07,446 Wake up, people! You have to fight it!
- 00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:09,949 You're under the spell of an evil monster!
- 00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,785 - I can hear you. - Yeah, so you keep saying.
- 00:08:12,869 --> 00:08:13,870 [Grunts]
- 00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,913 - Summer! - Wake up!
- 00:08:15,997 --> 00:08:18,124 You have to have some individuality left in there!
- 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,500 Why do you hate me, Summer?
- 00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:21,085 I'm not talking to you.
- 00:08:21,169 --> 00:08:23,588 I'm talking to... Steven Phillips.
- 00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,174 Steven, set yourself free.
- 00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:28,551 Summer, before I took over this planet,
- 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:31,137 this man was a registered sex offender.
- 00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,890 Yeah? Well, so what? At least he was himself.
- 00:08:33,973 --> 00:08:36,934 This woman was a drug addict on the verge of suicide.
- 00:08:37,018 --> 00:08:38,853 Now she's a marine biologist.
- 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,914 Listen, Unity, I don't think my sister's trying to say
- 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,291 that life would be perfect without you.
- 00:08:42,315 --> 00:08:44,001 I think she's just saying that life would be,
- 00:08:44,025 --> 00:08:45,276 you know, life.
- 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:48,112 I have transformed life here into a paradise.
- 00:08:48,196 --> 00:08:50,156 Prostitutes are now scientists.
- 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,408 The homeless are now "Phisosophers."
- 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,160 Oh. Oh. "Ph-phisosophers"? Nice.
- 00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:56,329 - Philopol... Phiphophopher... - Oh, my god.
- 00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,348 Where did you learn to talk, you grandpa-stealing slut?
- 00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,374 I'm feeling...
- 00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:01,709 [retches]
- 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,377 Ugh.
- 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,671 Oh, man, let me help all of you guys up.
- 00:09:05,755 --> 00:09:07,715 ALL: I'm fine.
- 00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:10,801 [Dance music plays]
- 00:09:11,636 --> 00:09:14,013 [Sniffs] Do you know what I love about you, Rick?
- 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,973 You're the only single mind I've met
- 00:09:16,057 --> 00:09:17,600 that really sees the big picture.
- 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,018 You got that right.
- 00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,603 But, baby, listen...
- 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,105 Y-you're talking about taking over planets and galaxies.
- 00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:24,565 You got to... Got to just remember
- 00:09:24,649 --> 00:09:26,067 to let go sometimes, you know?
- 00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,193 I can let go. Hey, look.
- 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,636 You see that town across the river?
- 00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:30,154 Watch this.
- 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,490 - Whoa! - Ha ha! Whoo!
- 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,075 Whoa! That's not what I meant!
- 00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:36,535 [laughing] It's okay. It's okay.
- 00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:39,497 I evacuated. I evacuated the town. Look.
- 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,333 ALL: Hey! We're right here. We're fine.
- 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:43,417 [laughs]
- 00:09:46,504 --> 00:09:50,049 Oh, that was awesome. [chuckles]
- 00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:52,260 My... my grandkids weren't in that town, right?
- 00:09:52,343 --> 00:09:54,220 A-are my grandkids alive?
- 00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,347 M-my drink is empty.
- 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,432 [All retching]
- 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:01,435 [Groans]
- 00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:04,522 ♪♪
- 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:16,117 - Unity, what's happening? - Who's Unity?
- 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,744 You kids have nice feet. Mind if I take a picture?
- 00:10:18,828 --> 00:10:21,372 - Gross. No. [cellphone camera clicks]
- 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,666 MORTY: I think you're getting what you wanted, Summer.
- 00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:25,710 Something's happening to Unity.
- 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:28,504 Do all of you remember who you are?
- 00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:31,048 Yeah, uh, my name is Ron Benson.
- 00:10:31,132 --> 00:10:34,010 I'm an electrical engineer, father of two,
- 00:10:34,093 --> 00:10:37,680 and, as you can see from my flat, concentric nipple rings,
- 00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,224 I'm a member of this planet's top race!
- 00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:41,976 [Cheers] Okay, that's good.
- 00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,437 Uh, don't focus too much on the last part, but...
- 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,398 I'm Daryl Jefferson. I'm a landscaper.
- 00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,025 And I'll be damned if
- 00:10:49,108 --> 00:10:51,402 that ripple-nipple bitch's race is superior!
- 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,404 The cone-nipple people will rule this world!
- 00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,865 You shut your mouth, you dirty knife-nipple bastards.
- 00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:56,991 What'd you say to me,
- 00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,201 you target-chest piece of shit.
- 00:10:59,285 --> 00:11:01,037 Race war!
- 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:08,961 Ugh!
- 00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:11,172 [Grunting]
- 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,715 Why are you fighting?!
- 00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:15,009 Can't you see you're all the same?
- 00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,510 Oh, Summer. [laughs]
- 00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:18,012 First race war, huh?
- 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:24,143 [All shouting, screaming]
- 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,228 Way to go, Summer. You started a race war.
- 00:11:26,312 --> 00:11:28,898 I didn't start it! They're the racists.
- 00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,232 I... I merely empowered them
- 00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:32,193 to follow their apparently misguided dreams.
- 00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:33,778 Okay, thanks for clarifying.
- 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,738 I'll have a super-accurate headstone now.
- 00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,090 Hey, wait... What race are you guys?
- 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,199 We're neither. S-see?
- 00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:39,909 Yeah, take my word for it.
- 00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:41,702 We just have regular nipples.
- 00:11:41,786 --> 00:11:44,121 Hey, these two freaks have no race!
- 00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:45,206 ♪♪
- 00:11:45,623 --> 00:11:48,834 [All shouting indistinctly]
- 00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:51,837 Oh, there's no place like home.
- 00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:53,523 There's no place like home. Remember, Summer?
- 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,067 From Dorothy and the tiny people movie?
- 00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,258 Yes, yes.
- 00:11:56,342 --> 00:11:58,219 - All the tiny people. - Dorothy, take us away.
- 00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:01,722 ♪♪
- 00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,603 Hello, Summer. Hello, Morty.
- 00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:10,189 - It's okay. You're safe now. - Unity?
- 00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:13,401 - Yes. - Oh, Unity, I am so sorry.
- 00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:16,195 I didn't know freedom meant people doing stuff that sucks.
- 00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,696 I was thinking more of
- 00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,615 a choose your own cellphone-carrier thing.
- 00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,075 Oh, Summer, you did nothing wrong.
- 00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:22,785 I'm having fun with your grandpa.
- 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,078 Lost a little control.
- 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,330 Probably shouldn't be piloting a hovercopter,
- 00:12:26,414 --> 00:12:29,166 nor should I be running 200,000 pediatric hospitals
- 00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,668 and 12 million deep fryers,
- 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,071 but hey, it's not like this planet
- 00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:33,546 can take its business elsewhere.
- 00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:35,506 Um, should we maybe stop somewhere
- 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,966 and get you a coffee?
- 00:12:37,049 --> 00:12:39,009 Maybe splash a little water on your face, or...
- 00:12:39,093 --> 00:12:40,928 No, no, if I wanted to be sober,
- 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,721 I wouldn't have gotten drunk.
- 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:43,806 Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- 00:12:45,808 --> 00:12:47,810 [Screeches, gurgles]
- 00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,520 Oh, man. I cannot wait...
- 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,648 I cannot wait to hear Rick explain his way around this.
- 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,983 He is gone.
- 00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:55,276 Jerry, stop, please, okay?
- 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,920 We weren't even supposed to be down here.
- 00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,184 If we confront him about this...
- 00:12:58,237 --> 00:12:59,780 Oh, my god! I love this.
- 00:12:59,864 --> 00:13:02,283 I love that this is how far you will go for him.
- 00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:04,660 You want to go upstairs and cut carrots
- 00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:06,287 and watch a Lifetime original
- 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,873 above a fucking alien dungeon!
- 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,792 Your relationship with your father is psychotic.
- 00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:13,294 Oh, listen to you relish the idea
- 00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:15,171 that my genius father is a bad person.
- 00:13:15,254 --> 00:13:16,881 Step out of your ego for a second
- 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,841 and look at this thing... It's a monster.
- 00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:20,176 He might have it chained up
- 00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:21,760 so that it doesn't eat the planet!
- 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,013 Right, because your father's such an altruist?
- 00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:27,683 I once saw him briefly forget the word for "Humans."
- 00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,894 He's probably harvesting this creature's organs.
- 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,896 He's probably racing to cure its space AIDS.
- 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,248 - He's going to eat it! - He's protecting it!
- 00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:34,106 [Shrills]
- 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,649 BOTH: Shut up!
- 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,069 [Humming] Whoa!
- 00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:40,988 Unity, this place is a mess.
- 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,198 Oh, it's cool.
- 00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:43,300 The part of me that's the cleaning lady
- 00:13:43,324 --> 00:13:44,658 is coming on Friday.
- 00:13:44,742 --> 00:13:46,327 [Gasps] Oh, my god. I have a meeting
- 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,245 at the Galactic Federation in an hour.
- 00:13:48,329 --> 00:13:49,330 Oh, I'll never make it.
- 00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,956 Ah, I'll push it to next week.
- 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,000 Unity, could you get Rick out here, please?
- 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,627 He's unavailable. He's...
- 00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,337 having sex with you. We get it. Gross.
- 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,671 Get him out here now.
- 00:13:57,755 --> 00:13:58,857 I don't think he wants to be...
- 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:01,050 - Grandpa Rick! - Rick! Rick!
- 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,843 I'm gonna tell mom and dad about the gagoo
- 00:14:02,927 --> 00:14:04,321 you have locked up under the garage!
- 00:14:04,345 --> 00:14:06,889 [Belches] What the hell is your problem?
- 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,933 Grandpa, we need to go home, now.
- 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,809 Fine. Sheesh.
- 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,144 [Glass shatters]
- 00:14:12,228 --> 00:14:13,354 [Beeps]
- 00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:14,897 See you.
- 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,690 Uh, Rick, I think we should <i>all</i> go.
- 00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:19,044 Tend to your garden, kids. I'm kind of doing a thing here.
- 00:14:19,068 --> 00:14:21,153 [laughs] Whoo!
- 00:14:21,237 --> 00:14:23,072 Grandpa Rick, we're not leaving without you.
- 00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,074 Oh, my god, you guys. I get it.
- 00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:27,243 You're afraid the big, bad hive mind
- 00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:29,370 is gonna steal your grandpa away.
- 00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:30,955 Actually, no. I think Unity's great
- 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,706 and you're a horrible influence on it.
- 00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:34,375 - What? - This isn't healthy, Rick.
- 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:37,002 You know, you're... You're really up to no good
- 00:14:37,086 --> 00:14:39,088 around here a-at this place, you know?
- 00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:40,339 You and Unity are like...
- 00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,091 Like leggings and mid-calf boots.
- 00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,759 You think you're great together,
- 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,136 but you're just bringing out the worst in each other.
- 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,764 Oh, gee. Boy, Summer. Well put.
- 00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,641 Uh, why don't we see what Unity thinks?
- 00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,725 Unity?
- 00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:53,769 I'm just taking a little break from stuff.
- 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:55,813 You know? I need to relax.
- 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,940 Oh, hey, w-what's this on the news, guys?
- 00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,149 L-I-let me turn it up.
- 00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:00,651 <i>In the news today,</i>
- 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,319 <i>this looks a lot worse than it is.</i>
- 00:15:02,403 --> 00:15:04,029 <i>We're really just having a good time.</i>
- 00:15:04,113 --> 00:15:05,447 <i>Karen? Thanks, Todd.</i>
- 00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:07,366 <i>Up next, are you a concerned grandchild</i>
- 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,034 <i>or just a buzzkill?</i>
- 00:15:09,118 --> 00:15:10,953 <i>We'll tell you how you can know for sure.</i>
- 00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,955 I think you two are a little outnumbered.
- 00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,124 Okay, well, what if you did it for me?
- 00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:17,376 What if you came with us as a favor to us
- 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,086 because you love us?
- 00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,838 What? Dumb. Bye.
- 00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,256 But Rick, Summer's just...
- 00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,150 Summer's just a hyper-emotional, needy little...
- 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,485 What's the word I'm looking for here?
- 00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:26,510 Uh... human.
- 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,095 It runs in the family.
- 00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,263 I can tolerate it,
- 00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,574 but I can't give a crap about it.
- 00:15:30,598 --> 00:15:32,099 Take a hike.
- 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:35,102 Take care of yourself, Unity.
- 00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,441 I'm not looking for judgment, just a yes or no...
- 00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:42,401 Can you assimilate a giraffe?
- 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,277 You're the worst!
- 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,113 No, you're the worst! You don't support this family!
- 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,573 All you care about is yourself!
- 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:48,925 You think supporting the family is about supporting you emotionally...
- 00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,552 you've got two children being dragged across the cosmos
- 00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:51,970 ...because it's never enough, Jerry!
- 00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,179 ...by your dangerously ill father!
- 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,472 And you force me to watch it happen...
- 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,999 ...because you'd rather lose them and lose me...
- 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,518 ...it's like to be afraid of losing anything...
- 00:15:58,542 --> 00:15:59,603 - than lose him! - Because you cling...
- 00:15:59,627 --> 00:16:00,645 And why? Because you're the child, Beth!
- 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:03,547 - You, not me! You! - [screeches]
- 00:16:03,631 --> 00:16:05,174 - Aah! - Aah!
- 00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,759 - Oh, my god. - Aah!
- 00:16:06,842 --> 00:16:08,260 [Both sigh]
- 00:16:10,346 --> 00:16:12,139 [Both gasp]
- 00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,350 Um, first of all, hello.
- 00:16:14,433 --> 00:16:16,518 Uh, my name is Blim Blam the Korblok.
- 00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:18,395 Second of all, cards on the table,
- 00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:20,189 I'm a murderer that eats babies,
- 00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,775 and I came to this planet to eat babies.
- 00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:27,613 However, I am also carrying a highly infectious disease
- 00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:30,991 that I suppose you could call "Space AIDS" as you put it.
- 00:16:31,075 --> 00:16:32,201 And Rick did chain me up
- 00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,203 so that he could attempt to cure it.
- 00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,330 At the same time,
- 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,332 Rick's motivation to cure my disease
- 00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,501 was not to save my life or anyone else's,
- 00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:43,754 but to patent and sell the cure for billions of blemflarcks.
- 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,297 But you know the reason <i>why</i>
- 00:16:45,381 --> 00:16:47,341 I ripped my chains out of the wall?
- 00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:50,219 And do you know <i>why</i> I'm never coming back to this planet?
- 00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:54,181 Because the two of you are the fucking worst!
- 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:56,850 You both hate yourselves <i>and</i> each other.
- 00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:59,186 And the idea that it has anything to do with Rick
- 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,813 is laughable.
- 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,065 I'd laugh, but I'm biologically incapable.
- 00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,858 <i>That's</i> how alien I am.
- 00:17:04,942 --> 00:17:07,319 And even I'm sitting here listening to the two of you
- 00:17:07,403 --> 00:17:10,239 and being like, "What the fuck"!
- 00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:12,449 So good luck with your shitty marriage,
- 00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:15,577 and tell Rick I'm sorry he has to deal with <i>either</i> of you.
- 00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:18,038 Blim Blam out.
- 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,209 [Gurgles]
- 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,379 You know what? I'm taking this.
- 00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:31,552 How do you... What is this?
- 00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:37,015 Uh, is there a slow setting?
- 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:40,018 Best door ever.
- 00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:47,025 RICK: [belches, sighs, coughs]
- 00:17:47,443 --> 00:17:50,529 Okay, okay. Now make them cry, but happy crying.
- 00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,823 Now make them all make fun of the blonde one.
- 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,342 Now make them all do it on the table.
- 00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:56,535 I can't believe you created a whole show for me.
- 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,162 Now cancel it.
- 00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,288 Okay, now put it back on.
- 00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:00,414 [laughs]
- 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,957 All right, I'm bored.
- 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,459 Rick, is there a way for you
- 00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:05,085 to call Summer and Morty?
- 00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:07,504 - I feel bad that they... - Pbht. Screw those guys.
- 00:18:07,588 --> 00:18:10,007 Ugh. I'll be right back.
- 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,134 Don't waste your brain on those weirdos, Unity.
- 00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:13,236 They're no different from any of the aimless
- 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,553 chumps that you occupy.
- 00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,114 They just put you at the center of their lives
- 00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,306 because you're powerful.
- 00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:18,891 And then because <i>they</i> put you there,
- 00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:20,294 they want you to be less powerful.
- 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,411 Never gonna happen though, right?
- 00:18:21,435 --> 00:18:22,519 ALL: <i>Never.</i>
- 00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:24,605 Never. Back in a flash.
- 00:18:24,688 --> 00:18:26,190 [Door whooshes]
- 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:28,275 [Toilet flushes]
- 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,612 Best weekend ever, Rick.
- 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:35,032 I agree, Rick. Let's see how long we can go.
- 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,951 Hey, Une. You got any more...
- 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,956 FEMALE UNITY: <i>Rick, forgive me for doing this in notes.</i>
- 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,543 <i>I'm not strong enough to do it in persons.</i>
- 00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:48,313 DELIVERY GUY: <i>I realize now that I'm attracted to you</i>
- 00:18:48,337 --> 00:18:50,589 <i>for the same reason I can't be with you.</i>
- 00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,257 <i>You can't change.</i>
- 00:18:52,341 --> 00:18:54,551 BEGGAR: <i>And I have no problem with that,</i>
- 00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:57,471 <i>but it clearly means I have a problem with myself.</i>
- 00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,914 NEWSPAPER VENDOR: <i>I'm sure there's no perfect version of me.</i>
- 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,726 <i>I'm sure I'lljust unify species after species</i>
- 00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:04,561 <i>and never really be complete.</i>
- 00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,565 FEMALE PRESIDENT: <i>But I know how it goes with us.</i>
- 00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:09,525 <i>I lose who I am and become part of you.</i>
- 00:19:09,608 --> 00:19:10,943 <i>Because in a strange way,</i>
- 00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:13,612 <i>you're better at what I do without even trying.</i>
- 00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:18,659 <i>Yours, and nobody else's, Unity.</i>
- 00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,329 <i>P. S., I don't know where those coal miners were</i>
- 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,572 <i>before they were assimilated.</i>
- 00:19:23,622 --> 00:19:25,165 <i>You might want to get checked.</i>
- 00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:26,267 - Man: [<i>belches</i>] [<i>laughter</i>]
- 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:28,293 [Door opens, closes]
- 00:19:28,377 --> 00:19:29,378 Hey.
- 00:19:30,504 --> 00:19:31,672 Dad.
- 00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:36,510 [Clears throat] I, um... Jerry and I
- 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:39,179 were looking for our weed whacker
- 00:19:39,263 --> 00:19:41,723 and found your subterranean lair
- 00:19:41,807 --> 00:19:44,309 and your alien prisoner,
- 00:19:44,393 --> 00:19:46,270 and he got away.
- 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,729 And I know I sound like mom,
- 00:19:47,813 --> 00:19:49,624 but I can't sacrifice this whole family's safety
- 00:19:49,648 --> 00:19:51,483 just because I'm afraid you'll leave again,
- 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,402 so no more alien prisoners
- 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,196 and no more subterranean excavation
- 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,698 without consulting us.
- 00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,783 - Okay. - Okay?
- 00:20:00,117 --> 00:20:03,036 "Okay"... like you're gonna quietly teleport somewhere
- 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,414 and never come back? - No. It's your house.
- 00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,625 Grandpa Rick, what happened with Unity?
- 00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:11,336 Who? Oh, Unity. Yeah, well...
- 00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,231 I mean, honestly, we're talking about an entity
- 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:14,607 that thrives on enslavement, you know?
- 00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,717 It's not cool. Fun's fun, but who needs it?
- 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,218 I'll be in the garage.
- 00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:20,721 [Chaos Chaos's "Do you feel it?" plays]
- 00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,400 ♪ Lay it, lay it down ♪
- 00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,319 ♪ Let me see your hand ♪
- 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,821 ♪ Show me what you got ♪
- 00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:40,324 ♪ You're always talking ♪
- 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,075 ♪ But you're not playing ♪
- 00:20:42,159 --> 00:20:44,703 ♪ It doesn't match your face ♪
- 00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:49,249 ♪ Get them away, away from this place ♪
- 00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:52,502 ♪ Can you take me now? ♪
- 00:20:52,586 --> 00:20:54,421 ♪ I, I want it ♪
- 00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,006 ♪ I want it real ♪
- 00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,425 ♪ Are you afraid of me now? ♪
- 00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,011 ♪♪ [machine whirring]
- 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,764 ♪ Are you afraid of me now? ♪
- 00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,223 ♪ Do you feel it? ♪
- 00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:07,267 ♪ Do you feel it? ♪
- 00:21:07,351 --> 00:21:10,854 ♪ Do you feel that I can see your soul? ♪
- 00:21:10,938 --> 00:21:12,189 ♪ Do you feel it? ♪
- 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,441 ♪ Do you feel it? ♪
- 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,777 ♪ Do you feel the pain in your heart? ♪
- 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:18,111 ♪ I, I want it ♪
- 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,197 ♪ I want it real ♪
- 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,741 ♪ Run away with me now ♪
- 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:24,868 ♪ I, I want it ♪
- 00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,537 ♪ I want it real ♪
- 00:21:27,621 --> 00:21:29,539 ♪ Run away with me now ♪
- 00:21:29,623 --> 00:21:32,000 ♪ Ah, ah ♪
- 00:21:33,961 --> 00:21:36,380 ♪♪
- 00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,556 ♪ Don't leave me ♪
- 00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:51,269 ♪ Never leave me out ♪
- 00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:53,563 ♪ Don't leave me ♪
- 00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:59,277 ♪ Never leave me out ♪
- 00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:06,827 RICK: Unity! Unity!
- 00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,286 Unity!
- 00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:10,163 How can I assist you?
- 00:22:10,247 --> 00:22:12,457 I want to talk to [belches] Unity, Beta Seven.
- 00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:13,625 I know it's in there.
- 00:22:13,709 --> 00:22:15,252 You're classified as a hostile entity,
- 00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,962 and Unity doesn't want to talk to you.
- 00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:17,963 I know your game, Beta Seven.
- 00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:19,214 I've met a billion of you,
- 00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:21,508 you little on-deck, in-the-wings shoulder to cry on!
- 00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:24,678 <i>You</i> are classified as a hostile entity.
- 00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:26,239 Oh, you're just loving this, mother...
- 00:22:26,263 --> 00:22:28,265 This isn't gonna shake out like you think, pal.
- 00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:29,659 Unity's not into other hive minds.
- 00:22:29,683 --> 00:22:31,184 It's gonna suck you in and use you up,
- 00:22:31,268 --> 00:22:32,477 and a month from now,
- 00:22:32,561 --> 00:22:33,621 I'm gonna be making out with all of you
- 00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:34,521 in a bunch of red wigs!
- 00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:36,606 Unity! Unity!
- 00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:39,317 Unity, I know you can hear me. Get out here.
- 00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:40,670 BETA SEVEN: Weapons systems engaged.
- 00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:42,404 Oh, in your dreams you have weapon systems.
- 00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:44,823 Ugh, Rick, you said we were going to a movie.
- 00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:45,824 We are, Morty.
- 00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:47,576 All right, Beta shit Seven,
- 00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,619 you just got saved by the bell, bitch!
- 00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:50,704 [Screaming]
- 00:22:51,288 --> 00:22:52,622 MAN: Did you get any of that?
- 00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:54,082 MAN: It's-a good show-a.
- 00:00:01,474 --> 00:00:06,417 Любовь, взаимность, чувства!
- 00:00:07,487 --> 00:00:08,487 Да, Морти.
- 00:00:09,124 --> 00:00:14,720 Объединяйтесь, любовью, взаимностью и чувствами!
- 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:15,563 Это моя любимая песня.
- 00:00:15,763 --> 00:00:16,763 О, да.
- 00:00:17,496 --> 00:00:19,573 Ооо, дааа, аварийный маяк!
- 00:00:19,773 --> 00:00:20,962 Даа, детка!
- 00:00:21,162 --> 00:00:22,283 Ты так этому рад?
- 00:00:22,483 --> 00:00:25,803 Первое правило космических путешествий, ребят - всегда проверяйте аварийные маячки.
- 00:00:25,888 --> 00:00:29,088 В 9-ти из 10-ти раз это полный корабль дохлых пришельцев и кучей халявной херни!
- 00:00:30,761 --> 00:00:33,641 1 из 10 раз это смертельная ловушка, но я готов рискнуть.
- 00:00:41,796 --> 00:00:43,956 Похоже здесь произошло нечто ужасное.
- 00:00:44,156 --> 00:00:45,808 Ага. Опаньки.
- 00:00:46,008 --> 00:00:50,019 Ах, да. Если наткнётесь на полную комнату яиц, не пугайтесь. Потрясите одно из них.
- 00:00:50,219 --> 00:00:51,991 Эти лицехваты стоят больше чем корабль.
- 00:00:52,191 --> 00:00:53,191 Эмм, а это зачем?
- 00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:55,616 Так копы подумают что корабль обнесли Корблоки.
- 00:00:55,816 --> 00:00:56,816 Это ужасно.
- 00:00:56,912 --> 00:00:58,395 Да я понимаю. Копы - расисты.
- 00:00:59,347 --> 00:01:01,702 О, привет. Вы живы. Слава богу.
- 00:01:01,902 --> 00:01:06,318 Вы можете нам помочь? Наша планета была захвачена каким-то... существом.
- 00:01:06,518 --> 00:01:08,231 Оно поглотило сознание нашего народа.
- 00:01:08,431 --> 00:01:09,544 Мы не замечали этого до тех пор пока не стало слишком поздно.
- 00:01:09,568 --> 00:01:12,973 Люди, которых оно забрало, они выглядят как твои друзья, твои
- 00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:16,347 родственники, твои начальники, но они уже не являются собой.
- 00:01:16,547 --> 00:01:19,427 Они часть... него.
- 00:01:19,627 --> 00:01:21,715 А как вы поняли что оно не попало на корабль с вами?
- 00:01:21,727 --> 00:01:23,827 Тем двум болванам похоже вообще вся история по боку.
- 00:01:25,631 --> 00:01:27,844 Эй, нет! Нет, стой! Перестань!
- 00:01:29,238 --> 00:01:30,238 Я ж сказал.
- 00:01:32,619 --> 00:01:33,881 Привет, Рик.
- 00:01:34,081 --> 00:01:35,172 Давненько не виделись.
- 00:01:35,372 --> 00:01:36,372 Юнити?
- 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:37,223 Рик? Дедушка?
- 00:01:37,423 --> 00:01:38,226 О, блин. Эээ...
- 00:01:38,426 --> 00:01:42,155 Это мои внучата, Саммер и Морти. Саммер, Морти,
- 00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:45,831 это, эээ, Юнити. Мы, вроде как... встречались.
- 00:01:46,031 --> 00:01:50,121 Перевод: RAD
- 00:02:08,538 --> 00:02:11,869 Ну и заварушка у тебя тут, Юн. Ты теперь целая планета, да?
- 00:02:12,069 --> 00:02:15,429 После того как мы расстались, я некоторое время скиталась по космосу.
- 00:02:15,629 --> 00:02:17,645 Затем я нашёл этот мир... где мне было легче
- 00:02:17,657 --> 00:02:20,001 сконцентрироваться на своём увлечении объединением.
- 00:02:20,201 --> 00:02:21,630 В смысле краже тел людей?
- 00:02:21,830 --> 00:02:24,750 Саммер, грубишь. Почему бы вам обоим, ребят, не пойти
- 00:02:24,762 --> 00:02:27,586 и поиграть с Юнити пока я с Юнити немного поболтаю.
- 00:02:27,786 --> 00:02:30,816 Нет, стой, Рик, а эти люди не наблюют нам в рот и не поглотят нас?
- 00:02:31,016 --> 00:02:33,751 Вы гости на моей планете. Вы можете быть самими собой.
- 00:02:33,763 --> 00:02:36,260 У меня всегда плохо получалось разочаровать Рика.
- 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,577 Так, теперь меня тянет блевать. Идём, Морти.
- 00:02:43,125 --> 00:02:45,105 Джерри, ты что.. ты чего тут делаешь?
- 00:02:45,305 --> 00:02:50,235 Пытаюсь найти нашу газонокосилку, потому что нашу траву пора бы закосить, йо.
- 00:02:50,435 --> 00:02:52,788 Но тебе нельзя заходить в гараж без Рика.
- 00:02:52,988 --> 00:02:53,760 Мне "нельзя"?
- 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:54,776 Это ему не нравится.
- 00:02:54,976 --> 00:02:58,066 И что он сделает? Завалится жить на халяву в дом к своей другой семье?
- 00:02:58,266 --> 00:02:59,266 О чём это ты?
- 00:02:59,342 --> 00:03:02,285 Твой отец плевать на нас хотел, всё из-за твоего синдрома
- 00:03:02,297 --> 00:03:05,150 брошенного ребёнка. Он вертит тобой как хочет, малышка.
- 00:03:05,350 --> 00:03:07,190 Да хватит уже сыпать этими хип-хоп фразочками.
- 00:03:07,297 --> 00:03:10,505 Хватит гнать на мой ироничный местный говор из-за
- 00:03:10,517 --> 00:03:13,737 того что твои отношения с отцом полнейший отстой.
- 00:03:16,198 --> 00:03:17,257 Это что за хрень?
- 00:03:17,457 --> 00:03:18,718 Я не знаю. Давай просто уйдём.
- 00:03:21,892 --> 00:03:24,840 Это из люка. Твой отец сделал люк в моём гараже.
- 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:28,285 Ты не знаешь это сделал он. В любом случае, мы не должны быть тут.
- 00:03:28,485 --> 00:03:31,365 Очевидно как и то что там рычит.
- 00:03:35,588 --> 00:03:38,920 Достигнуто всемирное перемирие. Неплохо. Немного странно выпускать
- 00:03:38,932 --> 00:03:41,876 об этом газету для самого себя, ну ладно. Так, что дальше?
- 00:03:42,076 --> 00:03:44,671 После того как я стану цивилизацией первого типа,
- 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:47,395 этот мир будет приглашён в Галактическую Федерацию.
- 00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:48,301 А, нормуль.
- 00:03:48,501 --> 00:03:51,421 Оттуда я получу доступ к бесчисленному множеству планет и видов.
- 00:03:51,621 --> 00:03:54,846 Один за одним я их объединю, я стану вселенной,
- 00:03:54,858 --> 00:03:57,757 и тем что односознательные называют Богом.
- 00:03:57,957 --> 00:04:02,225 Мне нравится. Это довольно сексуально. Эй, слушай, а где мы тут можем выпить?
- 00:04:02,425 --> 00:04:05,759 Производство развлекательных веществ здесь прекращено.
- 00:04:05,771 --> 00:04:08,327 Нет нужды забываться когда твой мир един.
- 00:04:08,527 --> 00:04:11,517 Юнити, Юнити, с кем я говорю? Я видел как ты поглотило целый
- 00:04:11,529 --> 00:04:14,432 полицейский участок только чтобы добраться до склада улик.
- 00:04:14,632 --> 00:04:17,604 Рик, когда мы познакомились, я было юным коллективным
- 00:04:17,616 --> 00:04:20,821 разумом, с населением в небольшой город. Люди меняются...
- 00:04:21,021 --> 00:04:25,535 Особенно когда я их меняю. Не хочу тебя расстраивать, но я повзрослело.
- 00:04:25,735 --> 00:04:28,005 Эй, слушай, я тоже повзрослел. Серьёзно!
- 00:04:28,017 --> 00:04:30,521 Видишь, я воссоединился со своей семьёй, да?
- 00:04:30,721 --> 00:04:32,402 Хм. И с чего бы это?
- 00:04:32,602 --> 00:04:37,696 Может быть это часть старения. Может быть я просто соскучился по компании.
- 00:04:39,715 --> 00:04:41,116 Да, Рик. Да.
- 00:04:41,316 --> 00:04:43,445 О, да. Да. Да.
- 00:04:43,645 --> 00:04:47,733 Погоди, погоди. Стой. Погоди-ка. Не так. Нам нужен дельтаплан и костюм Дяди Сэма без промежности и мне нужно целое поле твоего самого большого
- 00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:51,645 стадиона по грани заполненное голыми рыженькими, а все трибуны чтобы были забиты людьми которые хотя бы отдалённо похожи на моего отца.
- 00:05:02,901 --> 00:05:05,029 Блин, смотри как они работают. Так согласованно.
- 00:05:05,229 --> 00:05:09,881 Что с тобой? Они делают из тебя гору Рашмор. Они наделали бургеров!
- 00:05:10,081 --> 00:05:13,067 Морти, разуй глаза. Нет никакого "они". Тела
- 00:05:13,079 --> 00:05:16,343 этих бедных людей используют. Это планета кукол.
- 00:05:16,543 --> 00:05:17,833 Я тебя слышу.
- 00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:20,291 Ну, похоже никто тут не против этого.
- 00:05:20,491 --> 00:05:24,312 Кроме всех этих рыжих. Похоже они куда-то спешат.
- 00:05:24,512 --> 00:05:26,607 Шарик, Саммер? Шарик, Морти?
- 00:05:26,807 --> 00:05:28,678 Нет, нам не нужны твои тупые шарики, понятно?
- 00:05:28,690 --> 00:05:30,327 Нам надоело. Отведи нас обратно к Рику.
- 00:05:30,527 --> 00:05:32,132 Сейчас не подходящее время.
- 00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:34,805 О, даааа!
- 00:05:35,005 --> 00:05:37,683 Я хочу тебяяя!
- 00:05:37,883 --> 00:05:42,241 Давай, сынок, давай! Давай, сынок, давай! Давай, сынок, давай!
- 00:05:43,491 --> 00:05:48,185 О, неплохо. Очень неплохо. И как такое сделать чтобы я не заметил?
- 00:05:48,385 --> 00:05:50,666 Ну ты знаешь моего папу, если ему что-то пришло в голову.
- 00:05:50,729 --> 00:05:52,343 Ты спускаешь ему это со счетов?
- 00:05:54,409 --> 00:05:55,515 Я иду туда.
- 00:05:55,715 --> 00:05:56,052 Джерри...
- 00:05:56,252 --> 00:05:59,813 Бэт, это мой дом, а значит и мой гараж, мой секретный люк,
- 00:05:59,825 --> 00:06:03,095 моя спрятанная подземная пещера и мой безликий рычун.
- 00:06:03,295 --> 00:06:06,484 Так ты и дальше будешь агриться на этого чела, или подмажешь мне катки?
- 00:06:06,684 --> 00:06:07,935 Ладно, ты уже начал выдумывать.
- 00:06:08,819 --> 00:06:10,821 Боже мой. О, боже мой.
- 00:06:13,488 --> 00:06:16,215 О, Рик, это было так мощно.
- 00:06:16,415 --> 00:06:19,992 Почему это "было"? Мне надо попить и потом повторим.
- 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:21,995 О, чёрт.
- 00:06:22,195 --> 00:06:24,521 Слушай, если это вторжение, мне надо его где-то переждать,
- 00:06:24,533 --> 00:06:26,435 но я вернусь чтобы заняться сексом с выжившими.
- 00:06:26,589 --> 00:06:28,889 Это соседний вид коллективного разума, Бэта 7.
- 00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,947 Наши планеты заключили взаимовыгодный союз для обмена
- 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:34,935 жизненно важными ресурсами, так что будь поприветливее.
- 00:06:35,135 --> 00:06:42,344 Юнити, я не вовремя? Все местные формы жизни поглощены?
- 00:06:42,544 --> 00:06:46,332 Бэта 7, это мой односознательный друг с Земли - Рик.
- 00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:50,615 Рик Санчез. Юнити говорила о тебе.
- 00:06:50,815 --> 00:06:51,868 Только плохое, надеюсь.
- 00:06:53,661 --> 00:06:54,832 Господи боже.
- 00:06:55,032 --> 00:06:59,940 Бэта 7, если мои связи проблема для тебя, вероятно всё так-же и с нашим союзом.
- 00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:04,704 Наш союз выгоден. Если Бэта 7 и выражает беспокойство, это только потому что
- 00:07:04,904 --> 00:07:10,399 Ё-моё! Нейтрониевый порошок? Амфитетрон? Вы знаете что я могу с этим сделать?
- 00:07:10,599 --> 00:07:12,499 О, Рик, мне мне не стоит.
- 00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:16,468 Да ладно. Я ж не каждый день здесь. В память о прошлых временах.
- 00:07:16,668 --> 00:07:18,931 Ну ладно, какого чёрта.
- 00:07:19,131 --> 00:07:21,809 Мы можем очистить смолу и сделать фрактальную пыль.
- 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,777 А, я думал о скоростини, но
- 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:27,125 Старенький Рик не может потусить с целой планетой?
- 00:07:30,365 --> 00:07:32,390 Я могу всё что можешь ты и даже больше, детка.
- 00:07:34,394 --> 00:07:36,490 Знаешь, мне кажется что этот Бэта 7 надеется что
- 00:07:36,502 --> 00:07:38,566 ваш союз мог бы быть более чем просто выгодным.
- 00:07:39,713 --> 00:07:40,713 Прекрати.
- 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:48,431 Что ж это объясняет счёт в 6000 долларов за электричество.
- 00:07:54,085 --> 00:07:56,659 Что ж, неплохо. Очень неплохо.
- 00:07:56,859 --> 00:08:02,998 Инопланетные заключённые под нашим домом. Очень неплохо. Неплохо. Оооооооооооооо...
- 00:08:03,198 --> 00:08:03,957 Твою мать, прекрати.
- 00:08:04,157 --> 00:08:10,024 Очнитесь, люди! Вы должны сопротивляться! Вы под заклятием злобного монстра!
- 00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:10,839 Я тебя слышу.
- 00:08:11,039 --> 00:08:12,569 Ага, ты всё время это говоришь.
- 00:08:13,979 --> 00:08:14,687 Саммер!
- 00:08:14,887 --> 00:08:17,517 Очнись! Там должно было остаться хоть немного индивидуальности!
- 00:08:17,717 --> 00:08:19,700 Почему ты ненавидишь меня, Саммер?
- 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:26,740 Я не с тобой говорю. Я говорю со... Стивеном Филипсом. Стивен, освободись.
- 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:31,055 Саммер, до того как я захватило эту планету, этот человек числился насильником.
- 00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:34,539 Да? Ну и что? Он хотя бы был собой.
- 00:08:34,739 --> 00:08:39,038 Эта женщина была наркоманкой склонной к самоубийству. Теперь она океанолог.
- 00:08:39,238 --> 00:08:42,765 Послушай, Юнити, я не думаю что моя сестра пытается сказать что жизнь была бы безупречна
- 00:08:42,777 --> 00:08:45,878 без тебя. Мне кажется она хочет сказать что жизнь была бы, ну как-бы, жизнью.
- 00:08:45,949 --> 00:08:49,352 Я превратило здешнюю жизнь в рай. Проститутки
- 00:08:49,364 --> 00:08:52,630 теперь учёные. Бездомные теперь "фисософы".
- 00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:54,857 "Фисософы"? Неплохо.
- 00:08:55,057 --> 00:08:56,090 Филопол... фифофофер...
- 00:08:56,290 --> 00:08:59,304 Боже мой. Ты где училось говорить, ворующая дедов шлюха?
- 00:08:59,504 --> 00:09:00,504 Что-то мне...
- 00:09:04,313 --> 00:09:06,172 О, блин, сейчас я вам, ребят помогу.
- 00:09:06,372 --> 00:09:07,372 Я в порядке.
- 00:09:12,693 --> 00:09:15,756 Знаешь что мне в тебе нравится, Рик? Ты единственный односознательный
- 00:09:15,768 --> 00:09:18,360 из тех что я встречала который по настоящему всё понимает.
- 00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:22,542 Ну всё верно. Но, малышка, слушай. Ты говоришь о захватах планет и галактик.
- 00:09:22,554 --> 00:09:26,289 Тебе надо просто... просто не забывать расслабляться иногда, понимаешь?
- 00:09:26,489 --> 00:09:29,908 Я могу расслабиться. Эй, слушай. Видишь тот город за рекой? Смотри.
- 00:09:33,516 --> 00:09:34,649 Я не это имел в виду!
- 00:09:34,849 --> 00:09:40,368 Да всё в порядке, всё в порядке. Я эвакуировало. Эвакуировало город. Смотри.
- 00:09:40,568 --> 00:09:42,884 Эй! Мы тут. Мы в порядке.
- 00:09:48,394 --> 00:09:49,699 Это было офигенно.
- 00:09:50,611 --> 00:09:56,253 Мои внуки не были в этом городе да? Мои внуки живы? У меня бухло закончилось.
- 00:10:13,866 --> 00:10:15,222 Юнити, что происходит?
- 00:10:15,422 --> 00:10:19,102 Кто такая Юнити? У вас, ребят, прекрасные ножки, не против если я сфотографирую?
- 00:10:19,302 --> 00:10:20,302 Фууу. Нет.
- 00:10:22,635 --> 00:10:25,327 Мне кажется ты добилась своего, Саммер. Что-то происходит с Юнити.
- 00:10:26,603 --> 00:10:28,851 Вы все помните кто вы такие?
- 00:10:29,051 --> 00:10:32,991 Да, ох, моё имя Рон Бэнсон. Я электрик, у меня два ребёнка и как вы уже поняли по
- 00:10:33,003 --> 00:10:37,051 моим плоским концентрическим кольцам на сосках, я член верховной расы этой планеты!
- 00:10:40,845 --> 00:10:45,398 Что-ж, отлично. Не обращайте много внимания на последнюю часть, но...
- 00:10:45,598 --> 00:10:48,379 Я Дэрил Джефферсон. Я ландшафтный дизайнер. И будь я
- 00:10:48,391 --> 00:10:51,132 проклят если эта трёхсосковая сучья раса верховная.
- 00:10:51,332 --> 00:10:53,693 Конусососковый народ будет править этим миром!
- 00:10:53,893 --> 00:10:55,972 Заткните рот, ножесосковые выродки.
- 00:10:56,172 --> 00:10:59,073 Ты чё сказал, целегрудый кусок говна?
- 00:10:59,273 --> 00:11:00,872 Расовая война!
- 00:11:11,702 --> 00:11:14,940 Почему вы дерётесь?! Разве вы не видите что вы все одинаковые?
- 00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:17,792 О, Саммер. Первая расовая война да?
- 00:11:24,279 --> 00:11:26,288 Молодец, Саммер. Ты начала расовую войну.
- 00:11:26,488 --> 00:11:29,311 Я ничего не начинала! Они расисты. Я только позволила
- 00:11:29,323 --> 00:11:32,210 им следовать за своими по-видимому ошибочными мечтами.
- 00:11:32,410 --> 00:11:35,689 Понятно, спасибо за объяснение. Теперь у меня будет очень подробное надгробие.
- 00:11:35,889 --> 00:11:37,436 Эй, стойте, а вы из какой расы, ребята?
- 00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:38,782 Не из какой, видите?
- 00:11:38,982 --> 00:11:41,732 Да, поверьте мне на слово. У нас просто обычные соски.
- 00:11:41,932 --> 00:11:43,809 Эй, у этих двух уродов нет расы!
- 00:11:50,445 --> 00:11:52,800 Нет места лучше дома. Нет места лучше дома. Помнишь,
- 00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,314 Саммер? Как в фильме про Дороти и маленьких человечков?
- 00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:56,130 Да, да.
- 00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:56,748 Этих маленьких человечков.
- 00:11:56,948 --> 00:11:58,188 Дороти, забери нас. Забери нас.
- 00:12:05,876 --> 00:12:07,407 Привет, Саммер. Привет, Морти.
- 00:12:07,607 --> 00:12:09,207 Всё в порядке. Теперь вы в безопасности.
- 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,329 Юнити?
- 00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:10,922 Да.
- 00:12:11,122 --> 00:12:15,260 Юнити, мне так жаль. Я не думала что свободные люди занимаются такой
- 00:12:15,272 --> 00:12:19,122 фигнёй. Я думала больше о свободном выборе сотового провайдера.
- 00:12:19,681 --> 00:12:22,959 Саммер, ты ничего плохого не сделала. Я веселюсь с твоим дедом.
- 00:12:22,971 --> 00:12:26,159 Немного забылось. Наверное не стоит мне управлять вертолётом,
- 00:12:26,359 --> 00:12:30,107 а так-же управлять 200000 педиатрических клиник и 12 миллионами фритюрниц. Но,
- 00:12:30,119 --> 00:12:33,688 эй, не похоже что эта планета может переложить свои заботы на кого-то ещё.
- 00:12:33,888 --> 00:12:36,569 Эм, может быть нам стоит где-нибудь остановиться и взять
- 00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:39,179 тебе кофе? Может побрызгать водой тебе на лицо, или...
- 00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:42,401 Не, не, если бы я хотело быть трезвым, я бы не напивалось.
- 00:12:48,319 --> 00:12:51,452 О, боже. Я не могу дождаться, не могу дождаться
- 00:12:51,464 --> 00:12:53,889 как Рик всё это объяснит. Он уходит.
- 00:12:54,089 --> 00:12:56,012 Джерри стой, пожалуйста. Ладно, нас тут даже не
- 00:12:56,024 --> 00:12:58,000 должно быть. Что если мы расспросим его об этом?
- 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:02,207 Боже мой! Я в восторге от этого. Я в восторге от того насколько далеко ты готова ради него зайти. Хочешь
- 00:13:02,219 --> 00:13:06,200 пойти наверх, порезать моркови и посмотреть документальный фильм над ёбанным подземельем с пришельцами!
- 00:13:08,999 --> 00:13:11,662 Твои отношения с отцом это диагноз.
- 00:13:11,862 --> 00:13:15,510 Смотри как ты наслаждаешься вероятностью того что мой гениальный отец плохой
- 00:13:15,522 --> 00:13:18,944 человек. Вылезь из своего эго на секунду и посмотри на это, это монстр.
- 00:13:19,144 --> 00:13:21,576 Может он его заковал чтобы он не сожрал планету!
- 00:13:21,776 --> 00:13:25,685 Верно, потому что твой отец такой альтруист? Я как-то видел как он не мог
- 00:13:25,697 --> 00:13:29,670 вспомнить слово "люди". Он скорее всего вырезает из этого существа органы.
- 00:13:29,870 --> 00:13:32,099 Он вероятно пытается излечить его космический СПИД.
- 00:13:32,299 --> 00:13:32,827 Он его съест!
- 00:13:33,027 --> 00:13:34,088 Он его защищает!
- 00:13:34,288 --> 00:13:35,580 Заткнись! Заткнись!
- 00:13:39,424 --> 00:13:41,082 Юнити, что тут за бардак?
- 00:13:41,282 --> 00:13:45,036 А, да ладно. Та часть меня, которая уборщица приходит по пятницам.
- 00:13:45,048 --> 00:13:48,532 Боже мой. У меня встреча в Галактической Федерации через час.
- 00:13:48,732 --> 00:13:51,013 Мне ни за что не успеть. А, перенесу на следующую неделю.
- 00:13:51,107 --> 00:13:52,985 Юнити, ты не могло бы привести сюда Рика?
- 00:13:53,185 --> 00:13:54,500 Он недоступен. Он..
- 00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,572 Занимается с тобой сексом. Мы поняли. Фуу. Тащи его сюда сейчас же.
- 00:13:57,772 --> 00:13:58,812 Я не думаю что он хочет...
- 00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,811 Дедушка Рик! Рик! Рик!
- 00:14:01,011 --> 00:14:04,405 Я расскажу маме с папой о Гагу, которого ты запер под гаражом!
- 00:14:05,121 --> 00:14:06,937 Чё с тобой за херня такая?
- 00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,057 Дедушка, нам надо отправляться домой, сейчас же.
- 00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:10,787 Ладно. Хосподи.
- 00:14:13,798 --> 00:14:14,522 Увидимся.
- 00:14:14,722 --> 00:14:16,507 Эээ, Рик, мне кажется нам всем надо идти.
- 00:14:16,707 --> 00:14:19,067 Возвращайтесь в свой садик, детки. Я тут, вроде как, занят.
- 00:14:21,071 --> 00:14:22,963 Дедушка Рик, мы не уйдём без тебя.
- 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:26,022 Боже мой, вы ребят. Я понял. Вы боитесь что большой,
- 00:14:26,034 --> 00:14:28,688 плохой коллективный разум украдёт у вас дедушку.
- 00:14:28,888 --> 00:14:32,634 Вообще то нет. Я считаю Юнити молодец, а ты пагубно на него влияешь.
- 00:14:32,834 --> 00:14:33,425 Что?
- 00:14:33,625 --> 00:14:38,894 Это вредно, Рик. Знаешь, ты совсем не на пользу тут, понимаешь?
- 00:14:39,094 --> 00:14:42,846 Ты и Юнити как леггинсы с кожаными сапогами. Тебе кажется что вам
- 00:14:42,858 --> 00:14:46,336 хорошо вместе, но вы только раскрываете худшее друг в друге.
- 00:14:46,536 --> 00:14:48,967 О боже. Блин, Саммер. Хорошо задвинула. Э, а
- 00:14:48,979 --> 00:14:51,640 почему бы нам не узнать что Юнити думает? Юнити?
- 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:56,066 Я чутка передохну. Понимаешь? Мне надо расслабиться.
- 00:14:56,266 --> 00:14:59,699 О, эй, а что это по новостям, ребят? Дайте-ка включу звук.
- 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,331 И в сегодняшнем выпуске, всё выглядит хуже чем на самом
- 00:15:02,343 --> 00:15:04,699 деле. Мы действительно отлично проводим время. Карен?
- 00:15:04,899 --> 00:15:07,614 Спасибо, Тод. И далее, вы обеспокоенный внук или
- 00:15:07,626 --> 00:15:10,632 просто зануда? Мы расскажем вам как узнать наверняка.
- 00:15:10,832 --> 00:15:12,800 Похоже вы двое немного в меньшинстве.
- 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,827 Ладно, тогда, а что если ты сделаешь это для меня? Что
- 00:15:15,839 --> 00:15:18,833 если ты пойдёшь с нами ради нас потому что ты любишь нас?
- 00:15:19,033 --> 00:15:20,784 Что? Тупо. Пока.
- 00:15:20,984 --> 00:15:22,266 Но, Рик, Саммер просто...
- 00:15:22,466 --> 00:15:24,710 Саммер просто слишком эмоциональный, капризный
- 00:15:24,722 --> 00:15:26,834 маленький, как там это слово? А... человек.
- 00:15:27,034 --> 00:15:31,406 Это семейное, я могу это терпеть, но это не значит что это важно для меня. Гуляйте.
- 00:15:32,810 --> 00:15:34,439 Береги себя, Юнити.
- 00:15:38,661 --> 00:15:42,540 Я не хочу упрёков, просто скажи да, или нет. Ты можешь поглотить жирафа?
- 00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:43,394 Ты ужасен!
- 00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:47,537 Нет это ты ужасна! Ты не поддерживаешь эту семью! Ты думаешь только о себе!
- 00:15:47,737 --> 00:15:49,863 Ты думаешь что поддерживать семью значит эмоционально поддерживать тебя...
- 00:15:49,887 --> 00:15:50,591 У тебя двоих детей...
- 00:15:50,791 --> 00:15:52,185 Но как тебя поддержать... ...утащил в космос...
- 00:15:52,209 --> 00:15:53,973 Этого никогда не достаточно Джерри! Твой полоумный папаша!
- 00:15:53,997 --> 00:15:55,513 И никогда не будет достаточно! А ты хочешь чтобы я просто
- 00:15:55,525 --> 00:15:57,052 смотрел на это, потому то ты лучше потеряешь их и меня...
- 00:15:57,076 --> 00:15:58,979 А ты даже не знаешь что значит бояться потерять что-либо... чем его!
- 00:15:59,003 --> 00:16:00,654 ...потому что ты придираешься и придираешься.
- 00:16:00,666 --> 00:16:02,039 И почему? Потому что ты ребёнок, Бэт!
- 00:16:02,063 --> 00:16:03,144 Ты, а не я! Ты!
- 00:16:05,621 --> 00:16:06,621 Боже мой!
- 00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:16,445 Эм, во-первых, здравствуйте.Э, меня зовут Блим Блам Корблок.
- 00:16:16,645 --> 00:16:19,846 Во-вторых, если быть честным, я убийца, который ест
- 00:16:19,858 --> 00:16:22,948 детей и я прибыл на эту планету чтобы есть детей.
- 00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:26,629 Однако, я так-же носитель крайне заразной болезни, которую, я
- 00:16:26,641 --> 00:16:30,810 предполагаю, можно было бы назвать "космический СПИД", как вы выразились.
- 00:16:31,010 --> 00:16:34,305 И Рик действительно заковал меня чтобы попробовать вылечить её.
- 00:16:34,505 --> 00:16:38,426 Но в то-же время, мотивацией Рика вылечить мою болезнь было не спасение моей жизни, или
- 00:16:38,438 --> 00:16:42,505 чьей-либо ещё, а в том чтобы запатентовать лекарство и продавать за миллиарды блемфларков.
- 00:16:43,221 --> 00:16:46,667 А знаете почему я вырвал свои оковы из стены? А
- 00:16:46,679 --> 00:16:50,353 знаете почему я никогда не вернусь на эту планету?
- 00:16:50,553 --> 00:16:56,630 Потому что вы двое охуенно ужасны! Вы оба ненавидите себя и друг друга.
- 00:16:56,830 --> 00:17:00,710 А мысль о том что к этому как-то причастен Рик, смехотворна.
- 00:17:00,910 --> 00:17:04,687 Я бы посмеялся, но мой вид на это не способен. Вот насколько я
- 00:17:04,699 --> 00:17:08,910 пришелец. И даже я сидя тут и слушая вас двоих думал "Что за нахуй?".
- 00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:13,917 Так что удачи в вашем дерьмовом браке, и передайте Рику что
- 00:17:13,929 --> 00:17:17,600 мне жаль что он имеет дела с кем либо из вас. Блим Блам, всё.
- 00:17:23,487 --> 00:17:25,142 И знаете что? Я это забираю.
- 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,285 А как... что это?
- 00:17:35,379 --> 00:17:40,608 А скорость можно поменять? Просто великолепная дверь.
- 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:51,482 Ладно, ладно. Теперь сделай так чтобы они плакали, но плакали от радости.
- 00:17:51,506 --> 00:17:53,586 Теперь сделай так чтобы они смеялись над блондинкой.
- 00:17:53,651 --> 00:17:55,579 Теперь сделай так чтобы делали это на столе.
- 00:17:55,779 --> 00:17:57,880 Не могу поверить что ты создала целое шоу для
- 00:17:57,892 --> 00:18:00,189 меня. Теперь закрой его. Ладно, теперь верни его.
- 00:18:01,544 --> 00:18:02,573 Ладно, мне надоело.
- 00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:07,244 Рик, может позвонишь Саммер и Морти? Я волнуюсь что они...
- 00:18:07,444 --> 00:18:11,432 Пффф, нахер их. Я скоро вернусь. Не трать нервы на этих чудиков,
- 00:18:11,444 --> 00:18:15,444 Юнити. Они не лучше любого бесцельного болвана что ты захватило.
- 00:18:15,738 --> 00:18:18,947 Они молятся на тебя просто потому что ты могущественно. И из-за того что они это
- 00:18:18,959 --> 00:18:22,378 делают, они хотят чтобы ты стало менее могущественным. Этого никогда не будет, верно?
- 00:18:22,409 --> 00:18:23,514 Никогда.
- 00:18:23,714 --> 00:18:25,524 Никогда. Вернусь через мгновение.
- 00:18:31,014 --> 00:18:33,370 Лучшие выходные, Рик. Я согласен, Рик. Давай
- 00:18:33,382 --> 00:18:35,381 посмотрим как далеко мы сможем зайти.
- 00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:37,858 Эй, Юн. А у тебя осталось...
- 00:18:42,099 --> 00:18:44,098 Рик, извини что говорю об этом в записках. Я
- 00:18:44,110 --> 00:18:46,121 не настолько сильно чтобы сделать это лично.
- 00:18:46,321 --> 00:18:49,622 Теперь я поняло что привязалось к тебе по той-же причине
- 00:18:49,634 --> 00:18:53,005 по которой не могу быть с тобой. Ты не можешь измениться.
- 00:18:53,205 --> 00:18:58,072 Как по мне это не проблема, но это ясно даёт понять что проблема со мной.
- 00:18:58,272 --> 00:19:01,605 Я уверено что нет идеальной версии меня. Я уверено что просто
- 00:19:01,617 --> 00:19:04,962 буду объединять вид за видом но никогда не стану полноценным.
- 00:19:05,162 --> 00:19:09,274 Но я понимаю что происходит в нашем случае. Я теряю себя и становлюсь частью тебя.
- 00:19:09,286 --> 00:19:13,162 Потому что каким-то образом ты лучше делаешь то что я делаю, даже не пытаясь.
- 00:19:14,048 --> 00:19:18,972 Твоё и ничьё больше, Юнити.
- 00:19:20,998 --> 00:19:23,219 П.С. Не знаю где были те шахтёры до того как
- 00:19:23,231 --> 00:19:25,662 были поглощены. Возможно тебе стоит провериться.
- 00:19:28,442 --> 00:19:29,442 Привет.
- 00:19:30,566 --> 00:19:31,566 Пап.
- 00:19:33,864 --> 00:19:38,055 Я, эм, Джерри и я искали газонокосилку и нашли твоё подземное
- 00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:41,864 хранилище и твоего иноземного заключённого и он сбежал.
- 00:19:46,388 --> 00:19:48,756 Знаю, я говорю как мама, но не могу рисковать безопасностью
- 00:19:48,768 --> 00:19:50,989 этой семьи только потому что боюсь опять тебя потерять.
- 00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:54,230 Так что больше никаких иноземных заключённых и
- 00:19:54,242 --> 00:19:57,656 никаких подземных раскопок без согласования с нами.
- 00:19:57,856 --> 00:19:58,500 Ладно.
- 00:19:58,700 --> 00:19:59,472 Ладно?
- 00:19:59,672 --> 00:20:01,754 "Ладно" в смысле ты в тихаря телепортируешься
- 00:20:01,766 --> 00:20:03,223 куда-то и никогда не вернёшься?
- 00:20:03,423 --> 00:20:04,620 Нет, это ваш дом.
- 00:20:05,569 --> 00:20:08,334 Дедушка Рик, что случилось с Юнити?
- 00:20:08,534 --> 00:20:12,522 С кем? А, Юнити. Да, ну... Ну, если честно, мы поговорили о единстве которое держится
- 00:20:12,534 --> 00:20:16,534 на порабощении, вот. Это не круто. Весело то весело, но кому это надо? Буду в гараже.
- 00:20:18,079 --> 00:20:25,534 [Chaos Chaos - Do you feel it?]
- 00:22:04,229 --> 00:22:06,373 Юнити! Юнити!
- 00:22:06,573 --> 00:22:07,573 Юнити!
- 00:22:08,497 --> 00:22:09,694 Могу я Вам помочь?
- 00:22:09,894 --> 00:22:12,910 Я хочу поговорить с Юнити, Бэта 7. Я знаю оно там.
- 00:22:13,110 --> 00:22:16,564 Вы обозначены как враждебная сущность и Юнити не хочет с Вами говорить.
- 00:22:16,764 --> 00:22:18,872 Я знаю что ты задумал, Бэта 7. Я миллиард таких
- 00:22:18,884 --> 00:22:21,092 встречал, ты мелкая жилетка для нытья с крыльями!
- 00:22:21,292 --> 00:22:24,252 Вы обозначены как враждебная сущность.
- 00:22:24,452 --> 00:22:26,999 А, тебе нравится это, муд... это не пройдёт так просто как ты
- 00:22:27,011 --> 00:22:29,776 думаешь, приятель. Юнити не интересуют другие коллективные разумы.
- 00:22:29,976 --> 00:22:32,948 Оно тебя использует и высосет и через месяц я вас
- 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,884 всех буду дрючить в рыжих париках! Юнити! Юнити!
- 00:22:36,830 --> 00:22:39,038 Юнити, я знаю ты меня слышишь. Иди сюда.
- 00:22:39,238 --> 00:22:40,478 Оружейные системы активированы.
- 00:22:40,522 --> 00:22:42,582 А, в твоих снах у тебя есть оружейные системы.
- 00:22:42,782 --> 00:22:44,628 Эээ, Рик, ты сказал что мы идём в кино.
- 00:22:44,828 --> 00:22:48,692 Мы идём, Морти. Ладно Бэта бля 7, ты спасён гонгом, сука!