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Риксованный бизнес
Джерри и Бет участвуют в реконструкции Титаника, но корабль неожиданно не тонет. Джерри проводит некоторое время наедине с Люси, уборщицей, которая в конечном итоге оказывается невменяемой фанаткой фильма, заставляя его под прицелом имитировать сцены с ней. Она почти насилует Джерри, но Бет спасает его. Между тем, Рик, остаётся ответственным за Морти и Саммер, но у них большая вечеринка. Среди гостей — подростки, инопланетяне, Шестерёнкоголовый, Сквончи, альтернативные Рики и Аврадольф Линклер (комбинация ДНК Адольфа Гитлера и Авраама Линкольна). Они не только создают беспорядок, но и весь дом случайно отправляется в другое измерение, где Линклер, по-видимому, умирает (на самом деле он выживает). В конце концов, гостей прогоняют, а дом возвращают на место. У Рика, Морти и Саммер есть всего несколько минут до прибытия Бет и Джерри, поэтому они используют хитроумное приспособление, чтобы остановить время, позволяя им отремонтировать дом. Они смотрят Титаник и единодушно соглашаются, насколько он ужасен. В сцене после титров гигантские инопланетные звери многократно вставляют и высовывают Линклера и подростка с вечеринки в свои тела.
- 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,543 - Bye, mom! Bye, Dad! - Drive carefully!
- 00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:03,795 Have fun, you two.
- 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:06,464 Yes, we will have as much fun as possible on our...
- 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,591 Titanic-themed getaway.
- 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,468 Let's lose the 'tude, please.
- 00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,261 It's supposed to be romantic.
- 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,586 Speaking of disasters, Dad, we are leaving you in charge.
- 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,265 I know, c-can we wrap this up?
- 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,601 Morty and I have some synthetic laser eels
- 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:19,811 oxidizing in the garage.
- 00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,479 Hey, don't blow me off.
- 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,314 I am drawing a line, okay?
- 00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,525 Any damage to this house or these children
- 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,568 when we get back, and...
- 00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:29,612 n-no more adventures with Morty.
- 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,781 Aw, geez, Rick, if my mom's the one saying it,
- 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,783 then you know it's pretty serious this time.
- 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,326 - That's right. - Wait. What?
- 00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:37,328 Listen, you have my word as a caregiver,
- 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,247 everything's gonna be fine.
- 00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,958 And if not, like you say, no more adventures or whatever.
- 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,751 It's like that old song
- 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,795 "Blomp Blomp-a Noop Noop A-Noop Noop Noop."
- 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,047 Y-You guys know that song? From Tiny Rogerts?
- 00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,632 You never heard of it?
- 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,093 You know, the black effeminate guy from the '50s?
- 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,594 No-Nobody?
- 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,638 A-All right, whatever. Look, who cares?
- 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,765 Just go on your stupid trip.
- 00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,184 Not one thing out of place.
- 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,149 Not a single thing.
- 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,411 Well, we're past the point of no return.
- 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:19,871 I'm going to have a party.
- 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,405 I found jello. Can you sneak your mom's vodka?
- 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,741 Yes, she does. I saw it in your laundry room.
- 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:59,577 Listen, you can't both be in denial about it.
- 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,245 Okay, bye. - Summer!
- 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,372 You can't throw a party! Remember what mom said?
- 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,832 Yeah, if anything gets messed up,
- 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,237 you and Grandpa Rick get punished.
- 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,493 I'm only a human being, Morty.
- 00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:09,462 Rick, tell Summer she can't have a party!
- 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,380 Uh, Summer, you can't have a party.
- 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,049 Because
- 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,717 I'm having a party, b-i-i-i-itch!
- 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,594 Oh, what?! Rick, you can't!
- 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,638 What do you mean you're having a party?
- 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,681 Are some Glip Glops from the third dimension
- 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,809 going to come over and play cards or something?
- 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,018 "Glip Glop?"
- 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,686 You're lucky a Traflorkian doesn't hear you say that.
- 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,313 Is that like their N-word?
- 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,981 It's like the N-word and the C-word had a baby
- 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,983 and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews.
- 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,860 Listen, I think the three of us could just,
- 00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,779 you know, have a nice time, like, just hanging out,
- 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,583 and, you know, doing a little bonding and...
- 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,324 Screw that. This is my chance...
- 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,159 to gain some footing with the cool kids.
- 00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,620 That's why you party? Boy, you really are 17.
- 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,789 - Why do you party? - To get...
- 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,958 wr-wriggedy wriggedy wrecked, son!
- 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,836 Just keep your sci-fi friends away from my awesome ones.
- 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,129 Yeah, and you keep your awesome friends away
- 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,507 from my canapes.
- 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,635 After dinner, Titanic2will attach to the rail system
- 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,011 near our replica iceberg,
- 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,888 and the hydraulics encased in these tubes
- 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,724 will execute a controlled sink into the icy depths.
- 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,768 A rail system seems archaic
- 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,354 for an attraction this impressive.
- 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,231 Are you sure the ship will sink?
- 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,899 I can assure you the ship will sink,
- 00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:13,818 as it has a thousand times before.
- 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:17,530 It is UN-unsinkable. - Ooh!
- 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,782 Look, it's the line for the bow!
- 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,659 Jerry, I'd love to just kick back
- 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,494 with a margarita and read.
- 00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,454 Do you mind if I skip the whole "King of the World" bit?
- 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,540 Well, it's not the "King of the World" bit.
- 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:28,791 That's Jack and Fabrizio.
- 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,085 This is where Rose says, "I'm flying, Jack!"
- 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,503 But whatever.
- 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:33,713 I can be the only one to do it alone.
- 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,882 Well, what about her? Excuse me, ma'am.
- 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,967 Would you like to take my place in line?
- 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,344 I, uh... I could get into trouble.
- 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,138 We won't tell.
- 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,266 So... you're a Titanic fanatic?
- 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,602 Oh, yes. I've worked here since it opened,
- 00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,812 but I've never been able to participate.
- 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,731 Happy to help... Rose.
- 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,484 I love watching bukkake.
- 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,695 I mean, like, I don't know if I personally would ever do it...
- 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,739 - Brad! Hey! - Yo.
- 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,283 Brad is here! Quick, make my hair look drunk.
- 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,785 Check it out. Tammy's already drunk.
- 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,496 Cool.
- 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,540 The beacon was activated.
- 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,376 Who is in danger? - Ugh! Grandpa!
- 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,920 Birdperson!
- 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,671 I am pleased there is no emergency.
- 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,423 Oh, there's an emergency, all right.
- 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,966 A pussy emergency!
- 00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:20,843 When's the last time you got laid, 'Pers?
- 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:24,305 It has been a... challenging mating season for Birdperson.
- 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,432 Then it's time to get your beak wet tonight, player.
- 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,596 Go have some fun out there Birdp... Bird... Birdperson.
- 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,603 Oh, man, how many people did you invite, Rick?
- 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:35,066 Uh... people? Mm, six.
- 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,318 Yo! What up, my Glip Glops?!
- 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,861 Oh, man!
- 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,783 Oh!
- 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,661 Y-Y-You know there's a garbage, right?
- 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,956 Hey, uh, what the hell?!
- 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,749 Ooh. That's why you never invite a Floopy Doop
- 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:55,002 and a Shmoopy Doop to the same party.
- 00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,757 Oh, oh, g... oh, that's disgusting!
- 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,121 You guys are in my parents' bed!
- 00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,094 Oh. Sorry. I'm not feeling too well.
- 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,221 I just needed to lie down for a bit.
- 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,598 Oh. Okay. S-S-Sorry.
- 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,310 Oh, my god! Are you kidding me?!
- 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:14,939 The thing people don't realize about the gear wars
- 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:18,234 is that it was never really about the gears at all.
- 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,069 Uh-huh. Yeah. No, no, to-totally.
- 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,570 Rick, you gotta stop...
- 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,280 Morty! Have you met Gearhead?
- 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,907 - Hey, how's... - Morty here, he...
- 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,792 he would love to hear all about the Gear Wars.
- 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,704 How familiar are you with the gear wars, exactly?
- 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,622 Uh... not at all.
- 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,624 Oh, boy. I envy you.
- 00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:37,962 Okay, it was about 754 years ago...
- 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,388 Oh, hey, Morty! H-Have you met my buddy Scropon?
- 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:48,723 Not again, Rick.
- 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,808 That last guy droned on for 20 minutes, you know?
- 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,643 And meanwhile, the whole house is being destroyed!
- 00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,478 Whoa, Morty, this guy's entire planet was destroyed.
- 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,105 Have a little perspective.
- 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,399 Hey, Rick, squanchy party, bro!
- 00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,859 Aw! Squanchy!
- 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,069 Is there a good place for me to squanch around here?
- 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,405 Squanchy, you can squanch wherever you want, man.
- 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,449 Mi casa es su casa, dawg!
- 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,951 All right! I like your squanch!
- 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,245 Uh, Rick, what exactly is "squanching"?
- 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,080 Morty, listen... we've had a lot
- 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,832 of really cool adventures over the last year,
- 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,542 but it's time to relax.
- 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:17,960 Yeah, if I relax now, there might not
- 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,420 even be any more adventures!
- 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,047 Jesus, Morty, you're bumming me out.
- 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,715 Can't we just pretend like everything's fine
- 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,425 for a few hours, enjoy ourselves,
- 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,385 and then worry about all this later?
- 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,262 Yeah, that's easy for you to say, Rick.
- 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,264 You know, you like not caring about stuff.
- 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,893 You know, wh-wh-what's in this for me?
- 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:42,193 Jessica.
- 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,986 Knock it off, Slow Mobius!
- 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,821 Ha ha! Sorry, dude!
- 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:49,909 I'm just trying to show off my powers, bro!
- 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,577 I can't believe she's here.
- 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,245 Well, what are you doing standing here, Morty?
- 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,914 Go. Talk to her.
- 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,248 Tonight, the only adventure you're on
- 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,084 is your cusping manhood.
- 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:03,047 Oh, Rose.
- 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:06,592 Whee!
- 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,052 Is that what I think it is?
- 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,136 Yes, every couple gets to re-create Jack's drowning
- 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,014 at the end of the movie.
- 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,099 It's so romantic.
- 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,017 I can't wait to do that with Beth.
- 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,894 I don't know, Jerry. With all due respect...
- 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,978 it seems like your wife may not be that interested.
- 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,397 Look!
- 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:26,028 Iceberg, right ahead! The buffet is now closed.
- 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,864 Uh, sir? There's not a problem.
- 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,242 What do you mean there's not a problem?
- 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,202 The guidance system isn't putting us
- 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,954 on a direct collision course.
- 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,957 This ship is about to completely miss the giant iceberg!
- 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,167 Well, do something! Steer into it!
- 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,419 I'm trying!
- 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,049 It's too late. Ladies and gentlemen...
- 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,717 don't brace yourselves.
- 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,637 No! What happened?!
- 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,931 Their rail system must have failed.
- 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,520 Totally gonna get laid tonight.
- 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,188 I like your feathers.
- 00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,107 They are designed to attract the attention of the female.
- 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,733 It's working.
- 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,402 Tammy, I should let you know
- 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,737 I just got out of a highly intense soul bond
- 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,406 with my previous spirit mate.
- 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,950 I'm not looking to get into a soul bond.
- 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,286 I'm just looking for...
- 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,955 I believe Birdperson can arrange that.
- 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,624 Hey, Summer, haven't seen you at flute practice in a while.
- 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,626 Summer, don't tell me you're friends with her.
- 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,295 Are you kidding me?
- 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,297 I don't even know what she's doing here.
- 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,299 Whoa. Not cool, Summer. This is a party.
- 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,009 Everybody should be welcome.
- 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,638 Oh, great. Who invited Abradolph Lincoler?
- 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,932 I thought everyone was welcome.
- 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,601 It's not the same, Summer.
- 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,144 Lincoler is a crazed maniac...
- 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,062 just a misguided effort of mine to create
- 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,787 a morally neutral superleader by combining
- 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,733 the DNA of Adolf Hitler and Abraham Lincoln.
- 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:49,695 Turns out it just adds up to a lame, weird loser.
- 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,364 Rick, you brought me into this world,
- 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,200 a suffering abomination
- 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,036 tortured by the duality of its being.
- 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,163 But I shall finally know peace
- 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,707 when I watch the life drain from your wretched body!
- 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,083 Whoa. What's up, man?
- 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,002 I have no quarrel with you, boy.
- 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,837 "Boy"? What's that supposed to mean?
- 00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,255 It's just... l-look,
- 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,133 I-I don't know how you thought I meant it, but...
- 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,509 Don't look at me, dude.
- 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,970 Look, I'm half-Abraham Lincoln, so...
- 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,223 So I should get on my knees and kiss your ass?!
- 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,891 Well, no, but...
- 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,893 You know? - What do I know?
- 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,604 That the Third Reich will reign for a thousand years?
- 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,814 - Leave him alone, Brad. - Stay out of this, Jessica!
- 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,150 Kick his ass, Brad! Kick his ass!
- 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,403 Kick his ass! Kick his ass!
- 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,363 Brad!
- 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,906 Stupid!
- 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,616 Rick!
- 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,910 I just did you a favor, Morty.
- 00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,579 Sorry about all that.
- 00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:42,206 Rick has some really strange friends.
- 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,750 Ugh! Brad is such a jerk.
- 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,752 He's always trying to prove what a man he is.
- 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,297 I just want to find somebody nice and sweet.
- 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:53,425 Jessica, can I show you something?
- 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,554 - Wow! Look at all this stuff. - Yeah.
- 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,974 This is me and my grandpa Rick's sci-fi workshop.
- 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,558 Check this out.
- 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,062 It's beautiful.
- 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,064 You know, Jessica, there's something
- 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,233 I've always wanted to tell you.
- 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,194 - What's that, Morty? - I think you're the most...
- 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,071 No, that... those weird sounds
- 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:17,741 coming from the closet over there.
- 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:22,913 - Oh, my god! - Aah!
- 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,581 Hey, I'm squanching in here!
- 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,542 Oh, my god! Oh, that is so disgusting!
- 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,128 Ow! Oh! Oh, crap!
- 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,814 Huh. Big star in the sky.
- 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,817 Oxygen-rich atmosphere.
- 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,819 Giant testicle monsters.
- 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,237 We'll be fine! Let's party!
- 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,956 ♪ Just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got ♪
- 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,833 ♪ Just shake that ass... ♪
- 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,252 I swear to god, Morty, if it weren't for the fact
- 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,137 that everyone's still having a blast in there,
- 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,089 I would be so furious with you right now.
- 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,966 Oh, man. Y-You hear that, Morty?
- 00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,931 You really lucked out with Summer o-on that one.
- 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,054 How are you guys not freaking out right now?!
- 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,681 T-The whole house is sitting in another dimension!
- 00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,933 I-I mean, w-what the hell are we supposed to do?!
- 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,810 M-M-Mom and Dad are gonna kill us!
- 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,271 I'm losing it here, Rick! - Relax, Morty, relax!
- 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,856 It's gonna be fine.
- 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,150 All we have to do is go out and find us
- 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,651 some Kalaxian crystals.
- 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,653 Oh, shit, motherfucker!
- 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,280 Kalaxian crystals, Morty,
- 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,740 just a few miles south of here.
- 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,283 Okay. Let's go, then.
- 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,202 W-W-We got to go get those crystals right now, Rick.
- 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,204 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Morty, l-I can't go with you.
- 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,872 I got to hang back
- 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,166 and make sure everything stays cool here, you know?
- 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,336 I mean, who knows what... what if somebody breaks something?
- 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,296 Yeah. Me too. I should stay.
- 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,714 You guys have any aspirin?
- 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,466 Oh, hey, Morty, this is perfect!
- 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,385 You can take Lincoler with you.
- 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,069 Hey, I'm not going anywhere. I'm injured.
- 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,763 Shut up, Lincoler.
- 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,057 It's the least you can do for wrecking the living room.
- 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,559 Yeah! And, Nancy, you should go, too.
- 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,478 What? Why... why me?
- 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,814 Because, uh, you're...
- 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,983 you're so good at playing the flute.
- 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,987 Sorry for the inconvenience, folks.
- 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,156 We should resume sinking shortly.
- 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,158 In the meantime, please, stay on the ship
- 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,036 and enjoy a complimentary plate of James Cameronion rings.
- 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,205 Great. Not only is the ship not sinking,
- 00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,082 but now the fourth wall has been broken.
- 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,210 I am gonna go back to the room to finish my book.
- 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,003 You should find that Lucy woman.
- 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,213 But... but...
- 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,215 You see, Jerry?
- 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,883 May I show you something?
- 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,510 Had everything gone as planned,
- 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,220 this entire area would be underwater.
- 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,514 I would have liked to see it.
- 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,183 This trip has been a "Titanic" failure.
- 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,269 Get it? Ooh!
- 00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,521 - Draw me, Jerry. - Oh, boy.
- 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,231 Lucy, wow.
- 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,942 Uh, this isn't what I had in mind.
- 00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,694 But it's the perfect moment.
- 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,071 We've been dreaming about this for 16 years.
- 00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,948 Um, not like this. Not... not with you.
- 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,952 You are gonna draw me.
- 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,122 Then you're going to fuck me in that car over there.
- 00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,040 It's weird, 'cause I definitely think
- 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,042 that all men are created equal.
- 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,253 But, at the same time... - Okay!
- 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,422 Um, the crystals should be really close.
- 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:19,965 There they are!
- 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,843 Wait. Something's not right.
- 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,099 Get the crystals! I'll handle the beast!
- 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,895 Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!
- 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,273 Summer's gonna like me again.
- 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,240 Lincoler, come on! Let's get out of here!
- 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,910 Mein journey is over, Morty.
- 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:52,915 I have something important to tell you.
- 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,502 ♪ And the gears, they turned for a thousand years ♪
- 00:13:56,586 --> 00:14:00,005 ♪ Until the dark day that they stopped ♪
- 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,007 Rick, I got them!
- 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,425 I got the crystals!
- 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,093 All right! You did it, Morty.
- 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,387 Rick, wait! There's something you need to know.
- 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,139 I couldn't have done it without Lincoler.
- 00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,504 He said that he was really sorry
- 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,142 and that he loves you like a father.
- 00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:13,560 He only wanted you to accept him,
- 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,020 and he hopes that his final act
- 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:16,438 would redeem him in your eyes.
- 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,941 He sacrificed himself to save all of us, Rick.
- 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,567 He died.
- 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,361 Well, at least he didn't die in vain.
- 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:25,113 He got these crystals.
- 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,492 And these babies just saved this lame-ass party!
- 00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,035 Wubba, lubba, dub, dub!
- 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,870 Play something. S-Somebody, play something.
- 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,164 Wait a minute. What?
- 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,087 ♪ Put your right foot forward and your left foot back ♪
- 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,839 ♪ Then slide around like on a Nordictrack ♪
- 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,175 ♪ Move to the left. Step to the right ♪
- 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,929 ♪ Wiggle your elbows, and look up into the light ♪
- 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,181 ♪ It's the, it's the ♪
- 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,809 ♪ It's the Rick dance ♪
- 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,769 ♪ It's the, it's the ♪
- 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,646 ♪ It's the Rick dance ♪
- 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,439 Slow Mobius, hit me with the clock beam!
- 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,905 ♪ It's the, it's the ♪
- 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,156 ♪ It's the Rick dance ♪
- 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,492 That's the Rick dance! All right!
- 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,910 Whoa, man!
- 00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:15,455 What the hell was that?!
- 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,460 I thought those crystals were supposed to help us
- 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,834 get home or something!
- 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,086 What? No, no, no, I can get us home whenever I want to.
- 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,547 But, listen, speaking of those crystals, can I get the rest of them?
- 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,340 I'm starting to come down, Morty.
- 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,218 Crystal Kalaxian is a really strong, but fleeting high.
- 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,014 That's what I think of your crystals, Rick!
- 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,849 Oh, Morty, you idiot!
- 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,184 Does anybody else have any more K-Lax?
- 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,561 B-Birdperson? Uh, Squanchy?
- 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,229 Don't squaunch at me.
- 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,523 All right, everybody, party is officially over!
- 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,525 Rick, take us home now.
- 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,902 All right, fine, Morty, you party pooper buzzkill!
- 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,321 Boo, boo! Morty sucks!
- 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:50,157 Boo! You suck, whatever your name is.
- 00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:52,159 Morty, you're the worst, Morty.
- 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,411 But these gears just started turnin'.
- 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,288 Almost finished, Jerry?
- 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,332 Uh, almost.
- 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,627 I haven't quite captured your beautiful eyes.
- 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,378 I'm sure it's good enough. Move!
- 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,047 Every weekend, Jacks and Roses have
- 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,882 their Titanic experience in this car,
- 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,426 and I have to mop it up.
- 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,304 The floor drops out to make it easier.
- 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,014 But now it's my turn.
- 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,683 We're going to get it nice and steamy in there,
- 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,144 and I'm going to slam my hand on the steam
- 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,896 and leave a nice handprint,
- 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,565 and then you're going to love inside of me.
- 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,442 No mess. No clean.
- 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,445 Beth!
- 00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,031 Bet you're glad I think Kindles are dumb now.
- 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,743 I can't help but feel a little guilty.
- 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,912 I didn't peg Lucy for a rapist.
- 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,914 What does a rapist look like exactly, Beth?
- 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,916 Is it a Slavic man wearing a denim jacket
- 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,585 with a patchy beard and the scent of cheap champagne
- 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,296 wafting over his blister-pocked lips?
- 00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,381 What?
- 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,967 Well, at least you got all this free stuff.
- 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,970 Should be enough to satisfy your Titanic Jones for a while.
- 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,598 I'm not going to fit.
- 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,351 Beth, listen to me. You're going to get outta here.
- 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,061 You're gonna go on, and...
- 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,604 Jerry, just leave the door.
- 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,314 It's not a door, Beth. It's debris.
- 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,149 I don't care. Just leave it.
- 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,944 Yeah. Okay.
- 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,493 "Cape Fear"!
- 00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,078 "Cape Fear"!
- 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,080 I'm... I'm doing... I'm... I'm going to do like
- 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,623 from "Cape Fear."
- 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,342 Hey, squanchers!
- 00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,886 The party's squanching on at my place!
- 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,390 - Cool. - I'm coming, too.
- 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,267 Uh, no. You're not squanchy enough...
- 00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,227 for a squanchy party. - What?
- 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,937 Nancy told us what a bitch you are.
- 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,856 Guys, seriously. Nancy?
- 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,774 Summer, you're a bad person.
- 00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,943 All you care about is having popular people like you.
- 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,945 That's not what Abradolph Lincoler stood for.
- 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:55,282 Well, i-it was hard to pin down what he stood for,
- 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,744 but it's certainly not what he died for.
- 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,998 Next time I party, I'm just gonna focus
- 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,000 on getting totally wrecked.
- 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,793 You're so wise.
- 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,422 May I assist you with that?
- 00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,132 Uh, sure, yeah. Thanks.
- 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,051 Morty, do you know what "wubba lubba dub dub" means?
- 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,637 Uh, that's just Rick's stupid nonsense catchphrase.
- 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,514 It's not nonsense at all.
- 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,767 In my people's tongue, it means,
- 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,727 "I am in great pain. Please help me."
- 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,271 Well, I got news for you. He's saying it ironically.
- 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,356 No, Morty. Your grandfather is, indeed,
- 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,400 in very deep pain.
- 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,402 That is why he must numb himself.
- 00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,196 - Come on, um... - Birdperson.
- 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,698 Come on, Birdperson. Rick's not that complicated.
- 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,617 He's just a huge asshole.
- 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:41,244 Then why do you care so much if you are no longer allowed
- 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,246 to continue on your adventures together?
- 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,582 It appears fate has presented you with an opportunity
- 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,334 to free yourself of Rick forever.
- 00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,961 You know what? You're right. I shouldn't even care.
- 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,589 This is probably the best thing that could have happened to me.
- 00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,299 I'm sick of having adventures with Rick.
- 00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,801 My people have another saying...
- 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,427 "gubba nub nub doo rah kah."
- 00:18:57,512 --> 00:19:00,806 Lt means, "whatever lets you sleep at night."
- 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,266 Guys, Mom and Dad are, like,
- 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:04,935 right around the corner.
- 00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,771 This is your moment, Morty. Choose wisely.
- 00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:09,147 Tammy!
- 00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:11,817 Caw!
- 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,281 Wow. We are so screwed.
- 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,116 - Rick, wake up. - Huh? What? Wait? What? Stop.
- 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,743 Rick, you got to do something quick.
- 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,120 My parents are home.
- 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,498 Uh, all... all right. All right. Hold... hold on.
- 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,417 Ahh! So good.
- 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,585 Oh, my god. They're walking up the driveway.
- 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,838 - Bring me the thing. - What... what thing?
- 00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,506 The thing. The thing.
- 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,216 It's got, like, buttons on it and lights on it.
- 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,759 It... it... it beeps. - Rick!
- 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,344 That describes everything in your garage!
- 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,428 Do you mean this?
- 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,974 Summer for for the win.
- 00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:45,600 All right, that should do it.
- 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,895 - Whoa! What did you do? - Uh, s-see for yourself.
- 00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,605 Whoa!
- 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,482 Yeah, e-everything's frozen in time.
- 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,359 Yeah, and Slow Mobius thinks he's all that.
- 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,819 For how long?
- 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,779 I don't know. How long do you guys want?
- 00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,239 A week? A month?
- 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:02,868 Can we start cleaning the house and see how we feel?
- 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,867 - Worst movie ever. - Dumb.
- 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,311 Ooh, boy, what a waste of time.
- 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,731 Get it? You know, 'cause it's frozen.
- 00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,566 This has been so much fun.
- 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,401 Hey, Rick. You know, this whole time,
- 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,069 I haven't once heard you say that
- 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,738 "wubba lubba dub dub" thing that you usually say.
- 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,197 Don't need to.
- 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,991 I have a new catchphrase.
- 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,826 Oh, yeah? What... what's that, Rick?
- 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,995 - I love my grandkids. - Aww.
- 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,872 Psych! Just kidding... my new catchphrase is,
- 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,916 "I don't give a fuck!"
- 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,919 ♪ Just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got ♪
- 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,880 ♪ Just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see what you got ♪
- 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,757 Roll credits!
- 00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,800 ♪ Just shake that a... ♪ Roll the credits! Go!
- 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,136 ♪ Just shake that ass ♪ That's the end of season one!
- 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,055 That's the end, motherfucker!
- 00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,349 "I don't give a fuck" is my new catchphrase!
- 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,808 Fuck you!
- 00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,852 That's season one! Boom!
- 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:13,730 Season one up in your face, motherfucker!
- 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:14,814 Yeah!
- 00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:49,599 Revenge.
- 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:51,601 What?!
- 00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:56,982 Party!
- 00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,525 Whoo, baby!
- 00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:02,237 Please, stop!
- 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,613 Hey, brah!
- 00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:05,615 I don't understand. Are you enjoying this?
- 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,367 Do you like this?
- 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,369 Yeah, you know it, dawg!
- 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,497 Whoo, baby!
- 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,458 Did you get any of that?
- 00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,502 It's a good-a show!
- 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,543 - SUMMER: Bye, mom! Bye, Dad! - MORTY: Drive carefully!
- 00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:03,795 Have fun, you two.
- 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:06,464 Yes, we will have as much fun as possible on our...
- 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,591 Titanic-themed getaway.
- 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,468 Let's lose the 'tude, please.
- 00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,261 It's supposed to be romantic.
- 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,586 Speaking of disasters, Dad, we are leaving you in charge.
- 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,265 I know, c-can we wrap this up?
- 00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,601 Morty and I [burps] have some synthetic laser eels
- 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:19,811 oxidizing in the garage.
- 00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,479 Hey, don't blow me off.
- 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,314 I am drawing a line, okay?
- 00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,525 Any damage to this house or these children
- 00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,568 when we get back, and...
- 00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:29,612 n-no more adventures with Morty.
- 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,781 Aw, geez, Rick, if my mom's the one saying it,
- 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,783 then you know it's pretty serious this time.
- 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,326 - BOTH: That's right. - Wait. What?
- 00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:37,328 Listen, you have my word as a caregiver,
- 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,247 everything's gonna be fine.
- 00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,958 And if not, like you say, no more adventures or whatever.
- 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,751 It's like that old song
- 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,795 "Blomp Blomp-a Noop Noop A-Noop Noop Noop."
- 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,047 Y-You guys know that song? From Tiny Rogerts?
- 00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,632 You never heard of it?
- 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,093 You know, the black effeminate guy from the '50s?
- 00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,594 No-Nobody?
- 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,638 A-All right, whatever. Look, who cares?
- 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,765 Just go on your stupid trip.
- 00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,184 Not one thing out of place.
- 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:03,396 [ engine turns over ]
- 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,149 Not a single thing.
- 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,613 [ bubbling, crackling ]
- 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,411 Well, we're past the point of no return.
- 00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:19,871 I'm going to have a party.
- 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,405 SUMMER: I found jello. Can you sneak your mom's vodka?
- 00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,741 Yes, she does. I saw it in your laundry room.
- 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:59,577 Listen, you can't both be in denial about it.
- 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,245 Okay, bye. - Summer!
- 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,372 You can't throw a party! Remember what mom said?
- 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,832 Yeah, if anything gets messed up,
- 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,237 you and Grandpa Rick get punished.
- 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,493 I'm only a human being, Morty.
- 00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:09,462 Rick, tell Summer she can't have a party!
- 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,380 Uh, Summer, you can't have a party.
- 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,049 - [ scoffs ] - Because [burps]
- 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,717 I'm having a party, b-i-i-i-itch!
- 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,594 Oh, what?! Rick, you can't!
- 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,638 What do you mean you're having a party?
- 00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,681 Are some Glip Glops from the third dimension
- 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,809 going to come over and play cards or something?
- 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,018 "Glip Glop?"
- 00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,686 You're lucky a Traflorkian doesn't hear you say that.
- 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,313 Is that like their N-word?
- 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,981 It's like the N-word and the C-word had a baby
- 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,983 and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews.
- 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,860 Listen, I think the three of us could just,
- 00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,779 you know, have a nice time, like, just hanging out,
- 00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,583 and, you know, doing a little bonding and...
- 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,324 Screw that. This is my chance...
- 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,159 to gain some footing with the cool kids.
- 00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,620 That's why you party? Boy, you really are 17.
- 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,789 - Why do you party? - To get [burps]...
- 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,958 wr-wriggedy wriggedy wrecked, son!
- 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,836 Just keep your sci-fi friends away from my awesome ones.
- 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,129 Yeah, and you keep your awesome friends away
- 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,507 from my canapes.
- 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,635 After dinner, Titanic2will attach to the rail system
- 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,011 near our replica iceberg,
- 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,888 and the hydraulics encased in these tubes
- 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,724 will execute a controlled sink into the icy depths.
- 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,768 A rail system seems archaic
- 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,354 for an attraction this impressive.
- 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,231 Are you sure the ship will sink?
- 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,899 I can assure you the ship will sink,
- 00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:13,818 as it has a thousand times before.
- 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:17,530 It is UN-unsinkable. - Ooh!
- 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,782 Look, it's the line for the bow!
- 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,659 Jerry, I'd love to just kick back
- 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,494 with a margarita and read.
- 00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,454 Do you mind if I skip the whole "King of the World" bit?
- 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,540 Well, it's not the "King of the World" bit.
- 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:28,791 That's Jack and Fabrizio.
- 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,085 This is where Rose says, "I'm flying, Jack!"
- 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,503 But whatever.
- 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:33,713 I can be the only one to do it alone.
- 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,882 Well, what about her? Excuse me, ma'am.
- 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,967 Would you like to take my place in line?
- 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,344 I, uh... I could get into trouble.
- 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,138 We won't tell.
- 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,266 So... you're a Titanic fanatic?
- 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,602 Oh, yes. I've worked here since it opened,
- 00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,812 but I've never been able to participate.
- 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,731 Happy to help... Rose.
- 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,482 [ giggles ]
- 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,484 I love watching bukkake.
- 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,695 I mean, like, I don't know if I personally would ever do it...
- 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,739 - Brad! Hey! - Yo.
- 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,283 Brad is here! Quick, make my hair look drunk.
- 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,785 Check it out. Tammy's already drunk.
- 00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,496 Cool.
- 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,540 The beacon was activated.
- 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,376 Who is in danger? - Ugh! Grandpa!
- 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,920 Birdperson!
- 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,671 I am pleased there is no emergency.
- 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,423 Oh, there's an emergency, all right.
- 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,966 A pussy emergency!
- 00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:20,843 When's the last time you got laid, 'Pers?
- 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:24,305 It has been a... challenging mating season for Birdperson.
- 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,432 Then it's time to get your beak wet tonight, player.
- 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,596 Go have some fun out there Birdp... Bird... Birdperson.
- 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,603 Oh, man, how many people did you invite, Rick?
- 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:35,066 Uh... people? Mm, six.
- 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,318 Yo! What up, my Glip Glops?!
- 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,861 Oh, man!
- 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,197 [ electronic music plays ]
- 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,783 [ breathing heavily ] Oh!
- 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,661 Y-Y-You know there's a garbage, right?
- 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,956 Hey, uh, what the hell?!
- 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,749 Ooh. That's why you never invite a Floopy Doop
- 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:55,002 and a Shmoopy Doop to the same party.
- 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,880 [ bed springs squeaking ]
- 00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,757 Oh, oh, g... oh, that's disgusting!
- 00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,121 You guys are in my parents' bed!
- 00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,094 Oh. Sorry. I'm not feeling too well.
- 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,221 I just needed to lie down for a bit.
- 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,598 Oh. Okay. S-S-Sorry. [ chuckles ]
- 00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:09,392 [ groans ]
- 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,310 Oh, my god! Are you kidding me?!
- 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:14,939 The thing people don't realize about the gear wars
- 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:18,234 is that it was never really about the gears at all.
- 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,069 Uh-huh. Yeah. No, no, to-totally.
- 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,570 Rick, you gotta stop...
- 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,280 Morty! Have you met Gearhead?
- 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,907 - Hey, how's... - Morty here, he...
- 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,792 he would love to hear all about the Gear Wars.
- 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,704 How familiar are you with the gear wars, exactly?
- 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,622 Uh... not at all.
- 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,624 Oh, boy. I envy you.
- 00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:37,962 Okay, it was about 754 years ago...
- 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,388 Oh, hey, Morty! H-Have you met my buddy Scropon?
- 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:48,723 Not again, Rick.
- 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,808 That last guy droned on for 20 minutes, you know?
- 00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,643 And meanwhile, the whole house is being destroyed!
- 00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,478 Whoa, Morty, this guy's entire planet was destroyed.
- 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,105 Have a little perspective.
- 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,399 Hey, Rick, squanchy party, bro!
- 00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,859 Aw! Squanchy!
- 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,069 Is there a good place for me to squanch around here?
- 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,405 Squanchy, you can squanch wherever you want, man.
- 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,449 Mi casa es su casa, dawg!
- 00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,951 All right! I like your squanch!
- 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,245 Uh, Rick, what exactly is "squanching"?
- 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,080 Morty, listen... we've had a lot
- 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,832 of really cool adventures over the last year,
- 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,542 but it's time to relax.
- 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:17,960 Yeah, if I relax now, there might not
- 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,420 even be any more adventures!
- 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,047 Jesus, Morty, you're bumming me out.
- 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,715 Can't we just pretend like everything's fine
- 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,425 for a few hours, enjoy ourselves,
- 00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,385 and then worry about all this later?
- 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,262 Yeah, that's easy for you to say, Rick.
- 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,264 You know, you like not caring about stuff.
- 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,893 You know, wh-wh-what's in this for me?
- 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,520 [ soft music plays ]
- 00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,398 [ indistinct conversations ]
- 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:42,193 Jessica.
- 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,986 Knock it off, Slow Mobius!
- 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,821 Ha ha! Sorry, dude!
- 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:49,909 I'm just trying to show off my powers, bro!
- 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,577 I can't believe she's here.
- 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,245 Well, what are you doing standing here, Morty?
- 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,914 Go. Talk to her.
- 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,248 Tonight, the only adventure you're on
- 00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,084 is your cusping manhood.
- 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,920 [ both laugh ]
- 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:03,047 Oh, Rose.
- 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:06,592 Whee!
- 00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,052 Is that what I think it is?
- 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,136 Yes, every couple gets to re-create Jack's drowning
- 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,014 at the end of the movie.
- 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,099 It's so romantic.
- 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,017 I can't wait to do that with Beth.
- 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,894 I don't know, Jerry. With all due respect...
- 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,978 it seems like your wife may not be that interested.
- 00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,397 [ gasps ] Look!
- 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:26,028 Iceberg, right ahead! The buffet is now closed.
- 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,864 Uh, sir? There's not a problem.
- 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,242 What do you mean there's not a problem?
- 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,202 The guidance system isn't putting us
- 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,954 on a direct collision course.
- 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,957 This ship is about to completely miss the giant iceberg!
- 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,167 Well, do something! Steer into it!
- 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,419 I'm trying!
- 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,049 It's too late. Ladies and gentlemen...
- 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,717 don't brace yourselves.
- 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,637 - [ all gasping ] - JERRY: No! What happened?!
- 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,931 WOMAN: Their rail system must have failed.
- 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,933 [ indistinct murmuring ]
- 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,520 Totally gonna get laid tonight.
- 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,188 I like your feathers.
- 00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,107 They are designed to attract the attention of the female.
- 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,733 It's working.
- 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,402 Tammy, I should let you know
- 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,737 I just got out of a highly intense soul bond
- 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,406 with my previous spirit mate.
- 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,950 I'm not looking to get into a soul bond.
- 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,286 I'm just looking for...
- 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,955 I believe Birdperson can arrange that.
- 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,624 Hey, Summer, haven't seen you at flute practice in a while.
- 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,626 Summer, don't tell me you're friends with her.
- 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,295 Are you kidding me?
- 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,297 I don't even know what she's doing here.
- 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,299 Whoa. Not cool, Summer. This is a party.
- 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,009 Everybody should be welcome.
- 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,553 [ crashes ]
- 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,638 Oh, great. Who invited Abradolph Lincoler?
- 00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,932 I thought everyone was welcome.
- 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,601 It's not the same, Summer.
- 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,144 Lincoler is a crazed maniac...
- 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,062 just a misguided effort of mine to create
- 00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,787 a morally neutral superleader by combining
- 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,733 the DNA of Adolf Hitler and Abraham Lincoln.
- 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:49,695 Turns out it [burps] just adds up to a lame, weird loser.
- 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,364 Rick, you brought me into this world,
- 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,200 a suffering abomination
- 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,036 tortured by the duality of its being.
- 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,163 But I shall finally know peace
- 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,707 when I watch the life drain from your wretched body!
- 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,083 Whoa. What's up, man?
- 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,002 I have no quarrel with you, boy.
- 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,837 "Boy"? What's that supposed to mean?
- 00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,255 It's just... l-look,
- 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,133 I-I don't know how you thought I meant it, but...
- 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,509 Don't look at me, dude.
- 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,970 Look, I'm half-Abraham Lincoln, so...
- 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,223 So I should get on my knees and kiss your ass?!
- 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,891 Well, no, but...
- 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,893 You know? - What do I know?
- 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,604 That the Third Reich will reign for a thousand years?
- 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,814 - Leave him alone, Brad. - Stay out of this, Jessica!
- 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,150 Kick his ass, Brad! Kick his ass!
- 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,403 ALL: Kick his ass! Kick his ass!
- 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,363 Brad!
- 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,906 Stupid! [ grunts ]
- 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,616 Rick!
- 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,910 I just did you a favor, Morty.
- 00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,579 Sorry about all that.
- 00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:42,206 Rick has some really strange friends.
- 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,750 Ugh! Brad is such a jerk.
- 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,752 He's always trying to prove what a man he is.
- 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,297 I just want to find somebody nice and sweet.
- 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:53,425 Jessica, can I show you something?
- 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,554 - Wow! Look at all this stuff. - Yeah.
- 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,974 This is me and my grandpa Rick's sci-fi workshop.
- 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,558 Check this out.
- 00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,394 [ projector beeping ]
- 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,062 It's beautiful.
- 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,064 You know, Jessica, there's something
- 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,233 I've always wanted to tell you.
- 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,194 - What's that, Morty? - I think you're the most...
- 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,071 No, that... those weird sounds
- 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:17,741 coming from the closet over there.
- 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:21,620 [ closet rattling ]
- 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:22,913 - Oh, my god! - Aah!
- 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,581 Hey, I'm squanching in here!
- 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,542 Oh, my god! Oh, that is so disgusting!
- 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,128 Ow! Oh! Oh, crap!
- 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,630 [ device warbling ]
- 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,596 [ warbling ]
- 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:42,057 [ all screaming ]
- 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,814 Huh. Big star in the sky.
- 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,817 [ inhales sharply ] Oxygen-rich atmosphere.
- 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,819 Giant testicle monsters.
- 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,237 We'll be fine! Let's party!
- 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,323 [ all cheering ]
- 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,956 ♪ Just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got ♪
- 00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,833 ♪ Just shake that ass... ♪
- 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,252 SUMMER: I swear to god, Morty, if it weren't for the fact
- 00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,137 that everyone's still having a blast in there,
- 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,089 I would be so furious with you right now.
- 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,966 Oh, man. Y-You hear that, Morty?
- 00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,931 You really lucked out with Summer o-on that one.
- 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,054 How are you guys not freaking out right now?!
- 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,681 T-The whole house is sitting in another dimension!
- 00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,933 I-I mean, w-what the hell are we supposed to do?!
- 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,810 M-M-Mom and Dad are gonna kill us!
- 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,271 I'm losing it here, Rick! - Relax, Morty, relax!
- 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,856 It's gonna be fine.
- 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,150 All we have to do is go out and find us
- 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,651 some Kalaxian crystals.
- 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,653 [ detector beeping ] Oh, shit, motherfucker!
- 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,280 Kalaxian crystals, Morty,
- 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,740 just a few miles south of here.
- 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,283 Okay. Let's go, then.
- 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,202 W-W-We got to go get those crystals right now, Rick.
- 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,204 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Morty, l-I can't go with you.
- 00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,872 I got to hang back
- 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,166 and make sure everything stays cool here, you know?
- 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,336 I mean, who knows what... what if somebody breaks something?
- 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,296 Yeah. Me too. I should stay.
- 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,714 You guys have any aspirin?
- 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,466 Oh, hey, Morty, this is perfect!
- 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,385 You can take Lincoler with you.
- 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,069 Hey, I'm not going anywhere. I'm injured.
- 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,763 Shut up, Lincoler.
- 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,057 It's the least you can do for wrecking the living room.
- 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,559 Yeah! And, Nancy, you should go, too.
- 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,478 What? Why... why me?
- 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,814 Because, uh, you're...
- 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,983 you're so good at playing the flute.
- 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,987 CAPTAIN: Sorry for the inconvenience, folks.
- 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,156 We should resume sinking shortly.
- 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,158 In the meantime, please, stay on the ship
- 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,036 and enjoy a complimentary plate of James Cameronion rings.
- 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,205 Great. Not only is the ship not sinking,
- 00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,082 but now the fourth wall has been broken.
- 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,210 [ sighs ] I am gonna go back to the room to finish my book.
- 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,003 You should find that Lucy woman.
- 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,213 But... but...
- 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,215 [ clears throat ] You see, Jerry?
- 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,883 May I show you something?
- 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,510 Had everything gone as planned,
- 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,220 this entire area would be underwater.
- 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,514 [ sighs ] I would have liked to see it.
- 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,183 This trip has been a "Titanic" failure.
- 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,269 Get it? Ooh!
- 00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,521 - Draw me, Jerry. - Oh, boy.
- 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,231 Lucy, wow.
- 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,942 Uh, this isn't what I had in mind.
- 00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,694 But it's the perfect moment.
- 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,071 We've been dreaming about this for 16 years.
- 00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,948 Um, not like this. Not... not with you.
- 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,950 [ chuckles nervously ]
- 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,952 [ gun cocks ] You are gonna draw me.
- 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,122 Then you're going to fuck me in that car over there.
- 00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,040 It's weird, 'cause I definitely think
- 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,042 that all men are created equal.
- 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,253 But, at the same time... - Okay!
- 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,422 Um, the crystals should be really close.
- 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:19,965 There they are!
- 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,843 Wait. Something's not right.
- 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,303 [ creature growls ]
- 00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,512 [ screams ]
- 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,972 [ creature roars ]
- 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,099 Get the crystals! I'll handle the beast!
- 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,895 Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!
- 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,438 [ grunting ]
- 00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,273 [ gasps ] Summer's gonna like me again.
- 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,232 [ creature growling ]
- 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:42,946 [ grunts ]
- 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,240 Lincoler, come on! Let's get out of here!
- 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,910 Mein journey is over, Morty.
- 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:52,915 [ groaning ] I have something important to tell you.
- 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,502 ♪ And the gears, they turned for a thousand years ♪
- 00:13:56,586 --> 00:14:00,005 ♪ Until the dark day that they stopped ♪
- 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,007 [ gasps ] Rick, I got them!
- 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,425 I got the crystals!
- 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,093 All right! You did it, Morty.
- 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,387 Rick, wait! There's something you need to know.
- 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,139 I couldn't have done it without Lincoler.
- 00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,504 He said that he was really sorry
- 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,142 and that he loves you like a father.
- 00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:13,560 He only wanted you to accept him,
- 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,020 and he hopes that his final act
- 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:16,438 would redeem him in your eyes.
- 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,941 He sacrificed himself to save all of us, Rick.
- 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,567 He died.
- 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,361 Well, at least he didn't die in vain.
- 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:25,113 He got these crystals.
- 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,448 [ sniffs ]
- 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,492 And these babies just saved this lame-ass party!
- 00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,035 Wubba, lubba, dub, dub!
- 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,870 Play something. S-Somebody, play something.
- 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,164 [ clicks ] Wait a minute. What?
- 00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:37,167 [ hip-hop music plays ]
- 00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,087 ♪ Put your right foot forward and your left foot back ♪
- 00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,839 ♪ Then slide around like on a Nordictrack ♪
- 00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,175 ♪ Move to the left. Step to the right ♪
- 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,929 ♪ Wiggle your elbows, and look up into the light ♪
- 00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,181 ♪ It's the, it's the ♪
- 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,809 ♪ It's the Rick dance ♪
- 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,769 ♪ It's the, it's the ♪
- 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,646 ♪ It's the Rick dance ♪
- 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,439 Slow Mobius, hit me with the clock beam!
- 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:04,361 [ warbling ]
- 00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,905 ♪ It's the, it's the ♪
- 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,156 ♪ It's the Rick dance ♪
- 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,492 That's the Rick dance! All right!
- 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,910 [ burps ] Whoa, man!
- 00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:12,995 [ all cheering ]
- 00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:15,455 What the hell was that?!
- 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,460 I thought those crystals were supposed to help us
- 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,834 get home or something!
- 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,086 What? No, no, no, I can get us home whenever I want to.
- 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,547 But, listen, speaking of those crystals, can I get the rest of them?
- 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,340 I'm starting to come down, Morty.
- 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,218 Crystal Kalaxian is a really strong, but fleeting high.
- 00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:30,012 [ door slides open, Morty grunts ]
- 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,014 That's what I think of your crystals, Rick!
- 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,849 Oh, Morty, you idiot!
- 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,184 Does anybody else have any more K-Lax?
- 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,561 B-Birdperson? Uh, Squanchy?
- 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,229 Don't squaunch at me.
- 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,523 All right, everybody, party is officially over!
- 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,525 Rick, take us home now.
- 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,902 All right, fine, Morty, you party pooper buzzkill!
- 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,321 Boo, boo! Morty sucks!
- 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:50,157 Boo! You suck, whatever your name is.
- 00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:52,159 RICK: Morty, you're the worst, Morty.
- 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,411 But these gears just started turnin'.
- 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,288 LUCY: Almost finished, Jerry?
- 00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,332 Uh, almost.
- 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,627 I haven't quite captured your beautiful eyes.
- 00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,378 I'm sure it's good enough. Move!
- 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,047 Every weekend, Jacks and Roses have
- 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,882 their Titanic experience in this car,
- 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,426 and I have to mop it up.
- 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,304 The floor drops out to make it easier.
- 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,014 But now it's my turn.
- 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,683 We're going to get it nice and steamy in there,
- 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,144 and I'm going to slam my hand on the steam
- 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,896 and leave a nice handprint,
- 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,565 and then you're going to love inside of me.
- 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,442 No mess. No clean.
- 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,110 [ grunts ]
- 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,445 Beth!
- 00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,031 Bet you're glad I think Kindles are dumb now.
- 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,743 BETH: I can't help but feel a little guilty.
- 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,912 I didn't peg Lucy for a rapist.
- 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,914 What does a rapist look like exactly, Beth?
- 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,916 Is it a Slavic man wearing a denim jacket
- 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,585 with a patchy beard and the scent of cheap champagne
- 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,296 wafting over his blister-pocked lips?
- 00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,381 What?
- 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,967 Well, at least you got all this free stuff.
- 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,970 Should be enough to satisfy your Titanic Jones for a while.
- 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,598 [ grunts ] I'm not going to fit.
- 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,351 Beth, listen to me. You're going to get outta here.
- 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,061 You're gonna go on, and...
- 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,604 Jerry, just leave the door.
- 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,314 It's not a door, Beth. It's debris.
- 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,149 I don't care. Just leave it.
- 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,944 Yeah. Okay.
- 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,493 [ laughs evilly ] "Cape Fear"!
- 00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,078 "Cape Fear"!
- 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,080 I'm... I'm doing... I'm... I'm going to do like
- 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,623 from "Cape Fear."
- 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,500 [ grunts, groans ]
- 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,503 [ moaning, screaming ]
- 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,342 SQUANCHY: Hey, squanchers!
- 00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,886 The party's squanching on at my place!
- 00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,722 [ all cheering ]
- 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,390 - Cool. - I'm coming, too.
- 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,267 Uh, no. You're not squanchy enough...
- 00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,227 for a squanchy party. - What?
- 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,937 Nancy told us what a bitch you are.
- 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,856 Guys, seriously. Nancy?
- 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,774 Summer, you're a bad person.
- 00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,943 All you care about is having popular people like you.
- 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,945 That's not what Abradolph Lincoler stood for.
- 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:55,282 Well, i-it was hard to pin down what he stood for,
- 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,744 but it's certainly not what he died for.
- 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,998 Next time I party, I'm just gonna focus
- 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,000 on getting totally wrecked.
- 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,793 You're so wise.
- 00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,545 [ mumbles ]
- 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,422 May I assist you with that?
- 00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,132 Uh, sure, yeah. Thanks.
- 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,051 Morty, do you know what "wubba lubba dub dub" means?
- 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,637 Uh, that's just Rick's stupid nonsense catchphrase.
- 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,514 It's not nonsense at all.
- 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,767 In my people's tongue, it means,
- 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,727 "I am in great pain. Please help me."
- 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,271 Well, I got news for you. He's saying it ironically.
- 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,356 No, Morty. Your grandfather is, indeed,
- 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,400 in very deep pain.
- 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,402 That is why he must numb himself.
- 00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,196 - Come on, um... - Birdperson.
- 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,698 Come on, Birdperson. Rick's not that complicated.
- 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,617 He's just a huge asshole.
- 00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:41,244 Then why do you care so much if you are no longer allowed
- 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,246 to continue on your adventures together?
- 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,582 It appears fate has presented you with an opportunity
- 00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,334 to free yourself of Rick forever.
- 00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,961 You know what? You're right. I shouldn't even care.
- 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,589 This is probably the best thing that could have happened to me.
- 00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,299 I'm sick of having adventures with Rick.
- 00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,801 My people have another saying...
- 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,427 "gubba nub nub doo rah kah."
- 00:18:57,512 --> 00:19:00,806 Lt means, "whatever lets you sleep at night."
- 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,266 [ cellphone beeps ] Guys, Mom and Dad are, like,
- 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:04,935 right around the corner.
- 00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,771 This is your moment, Morty. Choose wisely.
- 00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:09,147 Tammy!
- 00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:11,817 [ grunts ] Caw!
- 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,281 SUMMER: Wow. We are so screwed.
- 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,116 - Rick, wake up. - Huh? What? Wait? What? Stop.
- 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,743 Rick, you got to do something quick.
- 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,120 My parents are home. - [ groans ]
- 00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,498 Uh, all... all right. All right. Hold... hold on.
- 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:27,749 [ gulping ]
- 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,417 Ahh! So good.
- 00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,585 Oh, my god. They're walking up the driveway.
- 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,838 - Bring me the thing. - What... what thing?
- 00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,506 The thing. The thing.
- 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,216 It's got, like, buttons on it and lights on it.
- 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,759 It... it... it beeps. - Rick!
- 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,344 That describes everything in your garage!
- 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,428 Do you mean this?
- 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,974 Summer for [burps] for the win.
- 00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:45,600 All right, that should do it.
- 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,895 - Whoa! What did you do? - Uh, s-see for yourself.
- 00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,605 Whoa!
- 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,482 Yeah, e-everything's frozen in time.
- 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,359 Yeah, and Slow Mobius thinks he's all that.
- 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,819 For how long?
- 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,779 I don't know. How long do you guys want?
- 00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,239 A week? A month?
- 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:02,868 Can we start cleaning the house and see how we feel?
- 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,370 [ mid-tempo rock music plays ]
- 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,182 [ epic music plays]
- 00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,867 - RICK: Worst movie ever. - SUMMER: Dumb.
- 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,311 Ooh, boy, what a waste of time.
- 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,812 [ laughter ]
- 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,731 Get it? You know, 'cause it's frozen.
- 00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,566 This has been so much fun.
- 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,401 Hey, Rick. You know, this whole time,
- 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,069 I haven't once heard you say that
- 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,738 "wubba lubba dub dub" thing that you usually say.
- 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,197 Don't need to.
- 00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,991 I have [burps] a new catchphrase.
- 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,826 Oh, yeah? What... what's that, Rick?
- 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,995 - I love my grandkids. - BOTH: Aww.
- 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,872 Psych! Just kidding... my new catchphrase is,
- 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,916 "I don't give a fuck!"
- 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,919 ♪ Just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see whatcha got ♪
- 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,880 ♪ Just shake that ass, bitch, and let me see what you got ♪
- 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,757 Roll credits!
- 00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,800 ♪ Just shake that a... ♪ Roll the credits! Go!
- 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,136 ♪ Just shake that ass ♪ That's the end of season one!
- 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,055 That's the end, motherfucker!
- 00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,349 "I don't give a fuck" is my new catchphrase!
- 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,808 Fuck you!
- 00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,852 That's season one! Boom!
- 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:13,730 Season one up in your face, motherfucker!
- 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:14,814 Yeah!
- 00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:49,599 Revenge.
- 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:51,601 What?!
- 00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:56,982 MAN: Party!
- 00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,525 Whoo, baby!
- 00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:02,237 LINCOLER: [ groans ] Please, stop!
- 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,613 Hey, brah!
- 00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:05,615 I don't understand. Are you enjoying this?
- 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,367 Do you like this?
- 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,369 Yeah, you know it, dawg!
- 00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,079 [ Lincoler retches ]
- 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,497 Whoo, baby!
- 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,458 Did you get any of that?
- 00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,502 It's a good-a show!