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Анатомический парк
На Рождество Рик отправляет Морти внутрь тела бездомного, чтобы спасти его жизнь (пародия на «Фантастическое путешествие»). Внутри тела мужчины находится микроскопический вольер под названием «Анатомический парк» (пародия на «Парк Юрского периода»), в котором находятся различные смертельные заболевания, которые выбираются из своих ограждений. Морти и один из сотрудников парка, Энни, спасаются от опасных болезней, убивая остальных сотрудников базы. Рик спасает их, увеличивая тело бездомного до ширины США, прежде чем уничтожить его взрывом. Между тем, вернувшись в семейный дом, родители Джерри навещают его, и семья пытается сблизиться без электронных устройств. Джерри встревожен, узнав, что его родители решили попробовать полиаморию. В сцене после титров Рик связывается с Энни и другими её новыми партнёрами внутри тела своего нового пациента, которые говорят о его аттракционе «Пираты поджелудочного моря» (что очень не нравится Рику, так как он чувствителен к своему аттракциону, который был его идеей). Рик вешает трубку, продолжая тираду и оскорбления, а также раскрывает бойфренда Саммер Итана как нового ведущего «Анатомического парка».
- 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,535 ♪ Last King Christmas last arrived ♪
- 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,620 ♪ On the Christmas Christmas ♪
- 00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:40,081 Mmm.
- 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,667 Jerry, you are really giving it to this ham.
- 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:46,379 Um, Merry Christmas.
- 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,755 Hello?
- 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,632 My parents are coming over for the first time in years.
- 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,759 Can we stow the gadgets and look alive?
- 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:52,635 Alive?
- 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,720 For your parents?
- 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,721 Mm, good one.
- 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,305 Hey, man! You "Hey, man!"
- 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,266 This holiday is about humanity.
- 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,950 You know, I thought it was about being born half-god or something.
- 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:01,811 Whatever.
- 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,105 All electronic items are going in the stocking... now.
- 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,733 Dad, I'm not giving you my phone.
- 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,193 Put it in the stocking, Summer, or I'm joining Facebook.
- 00:01:10,446 --> 00:01:11,863 A-ho, ho, ho, everybody.
- 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:13,067 More like "Whoa, whoa, whoa."
- 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:13,865 What is this?
- 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:14,782 My parents are coming!
- 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:15,867 Calm down, Jerry.
- 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,068 This is Reuben, an old friend.
- 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,327 Pearl Harbor.
- 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,579 I check in on him once a year and give him a little
- 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,998 medical evaluation.
- 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:22,874 Aww!
- 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:25,126 Dad, that is so sweet!
- 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,711 Yeah, it is.
- 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:27,670 I don't get it.
- 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,088 Korea.
- 00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:30,673 Don't worry about your C-Christmas, Jerry.
- 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,675 I'll be with Reuben in my workshop while you guys are
- 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,303 having another day in Phil Collins' proverbial paradise.
- 00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:36,262 Huh.
- 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,346 You think you know a guy.
- 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,474 Okay, there's my parents.
- 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,310 Now, remember... no TV, no phones, no laptops.
- 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,145 We are connecting this Christmas,
- 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,606 like old-school Jews on a Saturday.
- 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,774 Hey, hey!
- 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,025 Merry Christmas, son.
- 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,526 Uh, hi.
- 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:51,486 Can I help you?
- 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,820 Jerry, this is Jacob.
- 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,145 Didn't you get our text message?
- 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:55,156 No!
- 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:56,282 You must be Jerry.
- 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,658 That's a fine-looking apron.
- 00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:58,785 Williams-Sonoma?
- 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,119 I wish!
- 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:01,329 But thank you.
- 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,456 So, you're a... friend of the family?
- 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:06,626 Uh, the way we see it, he's a part of the family.
- 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,169 Wow.
- 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:11,047 After your father's brush with cancer and losing your uncle,
- 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:14,425 we looked at life and wondered, how have we spent it,
- 00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,302 and how do we spend the rest of it?
- 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,054 What are we going to be when we die...
- 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,306 A list of fears and questions
- 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,392 or a collection of real experiences?
- 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,603 Holy crap. Joyce, that's amazing.
- 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,814 Then Jacob came into our lives,
- 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:30,107 and... we're learning to live again.
- 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:31,192 All three of us.
- 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,028 Cool.
- 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:34,904 Eggnog?
- 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,197 Now we are talking!
- 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,074 This man's got the apron and the eggnog, huh?
- 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:41,869 Hi, Joyce. Leonard.
- 00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:42,829 Hello, there.
- 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:43,788 Merry Christmas, man.
- 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,032 Morty, a moment of your time?
- 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:46,999 He's in bad shape, Morty.
- 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,202 Aw, geez, Rick. What'd you do?
- 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,210 Gee, thanks, Morty.
- 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,974 W-w-what kind of monster do you think I am?
- 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,839 I-I-I'm sitting here trying to save the guy's life.
- 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:53,923 I need your help.
- 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,008 I want you to find Dr. Xenon Bloom.
- 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,218 He'll know what's going on.
- 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,929 Uh, w-w-w-where... where do I find Dr. Bloom?
- 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,180 In Reuben.
- 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,345 Reuben, Minne... Minnesota?
- 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:03,808 Reuben on the table, Morty.
- 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:07,228 Look, I-I-I I don't have time for you to wrap your
- 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,688 little walnut around everything.
- 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,231 Just hold your breath until the process is over
- 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,524 or your lungs will collapse.
- 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,608 What proc...
- 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,363 Hey, Dad, where's Morty?
- 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,406 He's busy.
- 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:23,035 Morty, can you hear me?
- 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:23,911 Head north.
- 00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:24,996 Rick, where am I?
- 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,664 Depending on my aim,
- 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,124 you should be just south of the entrance.
- 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,500 Entrance to what?
- 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:30,668 Welcome, Morty.
- 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:31,586 Welcome...
- 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:35,256 to Anatomy Park!
- 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,508 It's a little business venture I've been cooking up on the side
- 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,803 with Dr. Bloom... an amusement park inside a human body.
- 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,889 Science isn't ch... cheap, Morty.
- 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,682 This should really help put a dent in the overhead.
- 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:45,808 Oh, my God!
- 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,184 This is insane!
- 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,603 Spleen Mountain?
- 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,396 Bladder Falls? Pirates of the Pancreas?
- 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,522 You got a problem with that last one, Morty?
- 00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:53,274 Huh? No, no.
- 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,692 I'm just reading 'em out loud in the order that I'm seeing 'em.
- 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:55,776 Okay. All right.
- 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,069 If I sounded a little defensive,
- 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,988 it's because Pirates of the Pancreas was my baby.
- 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,323 You know, I got...
- 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,949 I got a lot of pushback when I pitched it, Morty.
- 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,474 I guess I'm still a little defensive.
- 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:04,827 Let's just find Dr. Bloom, all right?
- 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,704 I-I'm picking up a distress signal in the liver, Morty.
- 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,623 Proceed to the liver.
- 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,295 Arriving at...
- 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,130 liver.
- 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,214 Ow!
- 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,424 Mind the gap.
- 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,720 It's really scary in here, Rick.
- 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:23,971 The liver's under maintenance.
- 00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:24,972 Reuben's seen some rough years, Morty.
- 00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,515 Don't judge.
- 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,100 You don't agree to have a theme park built inside you if your
- 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,685 life's going great.
- 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,439 Rick! It's a monster!
- 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,732 No, no, no. Morty.
- 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,568 The only monster here is alco ... ...holism.
- 00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:39,403 That is an animatronic werewolf.
- 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:41,739 Who are you?!
- 00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:42,698 Answer me!
- 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:43,908 Where'd you come from?
- 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,392 My... my... my grandpa Rick sent me!
- 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,494 Poncho!
- 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,870 That's quite enough.
- 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,747 Morty, that's Poncho.
- 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,290 This is Roger and Annie.
- 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,670 And I am Dr. Xenon Bloom.
- 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,034 Hey, Bloom, it's Rick.
- 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:58,506 What the hell's going on here?
- 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:03,052 I don't know why, but the entire security system has shut down,
- 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,681 and I'm afraid... the exhibits are unlocked.
- 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:07,932 Exhibits?
- 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,643 Anatomy Park's greatest attraction, young man,
- 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,228 isn't the music or the food or the...
- 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,813 Pirates of the Pancreas.
- 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,314 Watch it.
- 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:18,901 It is, first and foremost, a living museum of humanity's most
- 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,362 noble and ferocious diseases.
- 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:22,279 Diseases?
- 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,031 Hey, doc.
- 00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:25,366 I got news for you.
- 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:29,036 Your living museum is officially a wild safari!
- 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,414 Hepatitis A! Run!
- 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,797 Oh, the food goes in your mouth, girl.
- 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,049 Oh, Jacob.
- 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,468 l-I'm sorry, Jacob.
- 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,793 I-I guess I'm still confused about the precise nature and
- 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,598 origin of your relationship with my parents.
- 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,434 Are you, like, uh... are you, like, their caretaker?
- 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,518 Is that what it is?
- 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:53,841 We can go into detail later, son.
- 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,731 Now, wait. Th-there's no point to secrecy.
- 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,774 Let's all live and die honestly.
- 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,444 Your mother and I have shared 40 years of each other, mind,
- 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,238 body, and soul, and when minds and souls are joined
- 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:07,825 for eternity and when eternity is at the door,
- 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:11,162 it's an invitation to let go of the body and an opportunity
- 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,539 to share and experiment.
- 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,249 Dad, please. What are you saying?
- 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:18,252 Whatever it is, it's beautiful, Leonard, and we support you.
- 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,504 Hey, speak for yourself, because it
- 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,798 sounds like you're about to say Jacob is your lover.
- 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,050 No, no, no, no, no, no.
- 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,218 Jacob is your mother's lover.
- 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,429 I watch them...
- 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,599 Sometimes from a chair and sometimes from a closet,
- 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,893 almost always dressed as Superman.
- 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:38,105 Oh.
- 00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:40,566 Jerry, this ham has got to be all you, right?
- 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,318 It's incredible.
- 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,905 Happy human holiday, Dad.
- 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,240 Aah!
- 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:53,412 Hepatitis won't follow us into the respiratory system.
- 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:56,624 That's strange.
- 00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:57,917 Airflow is down 20%.
- 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,002 So, the brain isn't getting enough oxygen.
- 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,088 That's why security's offline.
- 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,048 Well, I guess we better check it out.
- 00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:08,594 Hey! Wait for me!
- 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,721 Put that back on!
- 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:14,183 If we got up to the Bronchial Catwalk,
- 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,643 we could look for a blockage.
- 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:16,936 I'll go.
- 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:19,897 Don't be a hero, kid.
- 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:20,981 I'm not.
- 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,274 I'm doing it because it's fun.
- 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,485 We shouldn't be here.
- 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,029 Whatever you do, do not fire that thing in here.
- 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,031 We must save Reuben.
- 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,741 This is my life's work.
- 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,188 It's all right, my dear.
- 00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:36,914 Nearly all human lungs contain a strain of these bacteria,
- 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:39,458 but the scar tissue keeps them...
- 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,418 dormant.
- 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,670 Morty, get down!
- 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:43,754 Whoa-ho-ho!
- 00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,005 Whoa!
- 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:47,341 Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,304 Oh, what are those things?
- 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,682 Tuberculosis... coming in fast!
- 00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,225 Not faster than a bullet!
- 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,518 Aah!
- 00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:58,602 No!
- 00:07:58,603 --> 00:07:59,895 Do you know what you've done?!
- 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,482 Whoa!
- 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,527 Get to the digestive tract!
- 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,611 He's coughing!
- 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,531 Whoaaaa!
- 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,991 Don't let me die!
- 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,409 Just take a deep breath, Reuben.
- 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,661 You're not gonna die!
- 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:16,704 What's your name?
- 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:17,788 My name is...
- 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,207 Alexand...
- 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,088 Rick... R-R-Reuben's got tuberculosis!
- 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,256 Oh, great work, Morty.
- 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,008 Okay, I'll just cure it and then...
- 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:31,635 Okay.
- 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:32,887 Well, I can't cure death.
- 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,013 This is bad, Morty.
- 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,217 You're trapped in a dead man.
- 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,682 Listen, if the situation keeps darkening,
- 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,518 do yourself a favor and pop by Pirates of the Pancreas.
- 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,854 Obviously I'm biased, but I think it's great, Morty.
- 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,981 It's a bunch of pirates running around a
- 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,150 pancreas.
- 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,568 We don't whitewash it, either, Morty.
- 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,153 I mean, the pirates are really rapey.
- 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,072 The top priority is to get, you know, you guys out of there,
- 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,200 but I'm just saying, if that becomes impossible, please,
- 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,826 you gotta treat yourself.
- 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,161 Oh, man.
- 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,954 W-w-w-what is that horrible smell?
- 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,164 You mean the Panda Express?
- 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,083 Kidding. I-I'm kidding.
- 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:06,420 The body is beginning to constrict and fill with gas.
- 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,130 We're inside a corpse, my boy.
- 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,257 Anatomy Park is doomed.
- 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,592 Forget about the park, doctor!
- 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:12,801 How do we get out?
- 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,887 The digestive tract is the evacuation route.
- 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,388 Get it?
- 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,599 There's an emergency station in the colon with a ray that can
- 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,059 enlarge us all.
- 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,560 Everybody, head for the colon!
- 00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:24,688 Now I'm taking orders from a 12-year-old boy?
- 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:29,401 Morty, the scar sacs containing the tuberculosis were sabotaged.
- 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,570 This disaster was an inside job.
- 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,572 Keep your eye on Annie.
- 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,741 She was written up several times
- 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,869 by her manager at the Churro Stand.
- 00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,704 Intestines are ahead to the left, then to the right,
- 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:43,249 then left, ET cetera.
- 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,753 Hey, just so you know, l-I-I'm actually 14.
- 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,213 So, you know... what?
- 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,756 Not 12.
- 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,216 Okay.
- 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,843 You know, because he just said I was 12.
- 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,220 Oh.
- 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,805 Good for you.
- 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,556 Oof. Ugh. Morty.
- 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:00,891 Strike one.
- 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,396 ♪ It's a road of wonder ♪
- 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,106 ♪ A trail of food ♪
- 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:10,985 ♪ It's a pathway to break up the bad and good ♪
- 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:15,030 ♪ It's a tube that digests and then sends out the rest ♪
- 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:19,118 ♪ It's a small, small intestine ♪
- 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,787 Lt goes on like this for miles.
- 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,206 Then we get to the large intestine!
- 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,334 Shh! I hear something.
- 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,381 Don't move.
- 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:36,218 Gonorrhea can't see us if we don't move.
- 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:39,638 Wait, I was wrong.
- 00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:40,803 I was thinking of a T. Rex.
- 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,351 Move!
- 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,231 We're sitting ducks!
- 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,233 Doc, didn't you say that the body was filling with gas?
- 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,609 Yes. Why?
- 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,570 Kid, you're a genius.
- 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,654 Are you mad?!
- 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:56,947 Everybody, in here!
- 00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,366 Hey, Gonorrhea!
- 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,910 How's this for a burning sensation?
- 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,044 Huh.
- 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,214 ♪ Drummer drum drum drum drum drum ♪
- 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,258 ♪ Drum drum drum drum drum drum ♪
- 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,343 ♪ Christmas drums ♪
- 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,510 Oh, sing it, Summer.
- 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,721 ♪ Christmas drums being played by a b-o-o-o-y ♪
- 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,014 Oh, I love to hear you sing.
- 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,060 Jerry, come on.
- 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,269 This is what you wanted.
- 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,354 I get it, Beth.
- 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,556 Be careful what you wish for.
- 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,231 I'm being punished for taking your iPad.
- 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,191 What?
- 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:33,692 Jerry, let that stuff go, okay?
- 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,235 I'm sorry I was a bitch earlier.
- 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,279 Let's just be here.
- 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,281 Summer!
- 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,366 Ethan?
- 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,367 What are you doing here?
- 00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:42,409 I've been texting you for hours!
- 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,619 What the hell?!
- 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,703 I don't have my phone!
- 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,163 I'm doing a human holiday!
- 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,957 Well, did you even consider how that might make me feel?!
- 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,209 How you feel?!
- 00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,544 Why is everything always happening to you?!
- 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,463 Summer, do you have a boyfriend?
- 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,006 Yeah, do you, Summer?
- 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:56,882 I don't know, Ethan.
- 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,092 Do I?!
- 00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,969 Jerry, no disrespect, but you really need to
- 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,971 connect more with your family, man.
- 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,308 I should be able to access the backup generator to get the
- 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,684 growth ray online.
- 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,728 If it works, we'll be regular-sized in a few minutes.
- 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,893 I just hope Reuben's not in a room with white carpets
- 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:12,940 or upholstery.
- 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,359 What the hell is that?
- 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,568 The Sphincter Dam.
- 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,404 We built it when Reuben became incontinent,
- 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,281 but it was not designed to hold a corpse load.
- 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,367 I've almost got it.
- 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,119 Everybody, move inside the circle.
- 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:27,329 Poncho?
- 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,622 What is this in your backpack?
- 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,958 That's Bubonic plague!
- 00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,482 What are you doing with that, Poncho?
- 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,420 Everybody, get back!
- 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,879 Poncho, you son of a bitch!
- 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:39,258 You released the tuberculosis so you could steal from me?
- 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,676 That's right, baby.
- 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,886 A lot of people would pay top dollar
- 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,847 to decimate the population.
- 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,265 I'll take the highest bidder...
- 00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,100 Al-Qaeda, North Korea,
- 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:51,311 Republicans, Shriners, balding men that work out,
- 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:54,314 people on the internet that are only turned on by cartoons
- 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,024 of Japanese teenagers...
- 00:12:56,109 --> 00:13:00,529 Anything is better than working for you, you pompous, negligent,
- 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:04,825 iTunes-gift-card-as-a-holiday- bonus-giving mother...
- 00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,579 Come on!
- 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:12,708 Aah!
- 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,584 Get off!
- 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:18,255 You guys!
- 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,590 It's gonna burst! Go!
- 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:20,549 Go, go, go!
- 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,178 My foot is stuck.
- 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,721 No! It's okay!
- 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,806 It's okay. Just go. Tell my family I love them.
- 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,850 They may be hard to find 'cause my wife kept her last name and
- 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,374 she made the kids take it, too, so, I-I don't know, you can...
- 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:33,854 No!
- 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,526 Let me ask you a question, Ethan.
- 00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:41,403 Where's the anger coming from, man?
- 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,156 From Summer being a total bitch!
- 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:49,077 Where's the anger coming from?
- 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,664 My brother... took me fishing once ...in the bushes...
- 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,292 I can't... I can't...
- 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,003 He made me feel like a girl!
- 00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,380 I... he made me a girl!
- 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,550 He didn't make you anything, man.
- 00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,427 You are who you are.
- 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,179 She is who she is.
- 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,515 Now, you go to her... brand-new.
- 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,599 Come here, right now.
- 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,558 Oh, my God.
- 00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,893 I'm so sorry, Ethan!
- 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,019 I love you!
- 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:14,937 I love you so much.
- 00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:17,981 Um...
- 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,816 You did it again, cubbie.
- 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:20,984 Come here.
- 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,741 No! Stop! I hate this!
- 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,786 Well, Christmas doesn't revolve around what you hate, son.
- 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,120 Well, then I hate Christmas!
- 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,539 Enjoy being human!
- 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,249 You guys are gross and lame.
- 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,417 My name's Reuben Ridley.
- 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:40,546 You're inside me right now, but by the end of this journey...
- 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:41,630 Whoopsie.
- 00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,924 I'll be inside all of you.
- 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,926 My story begins during
- 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,345 the dot-com crash in the early '90s.
- 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,057 You can put your fingers wherever you want.
- 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,059 Morty, you want to put it on mute or something?
- 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,477 I'm... I'm trying to concentrate.
- 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,562 Uh... Rick?
- 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,813 Not now, Jerry.
- 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,523 I've got much, much smaller fish to fry.
- 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,358 I wanted to say I'm sorry I ever judged you.
- 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,610 Right now, you're my sanest relative.
- 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,362 Relative.
- 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,572 R-relative size!
- 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,365 Jerry, hand me a scalpel and a bundle of dynamite.
- 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:09,700 Morty, can you get to the left nipple?
- 00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,034 Are you kidding?
- 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,619 I'm hoping I can get to both of 'em, Rick.
- 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,496 No, Morty, I'm talking about Reuben's left nipple.
- 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,278 We need to get to the left nipple!
- 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,960 The body is decaying.
- 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,296 The arterial transit system is useless.
- 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,172 We can try the service shuttle.
- 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,737 It's connected to the skeletal system.
- 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,759 That's why we call it the bone train.
- 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,887 Would you like to ride the bone train, Miss?
- 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,514 If it'll get us out of here.
- 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,099 How about you, Morty?
- 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:37,060 Would you like to ride the bone train?
- 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,353 Why are you doing this bit?
- 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,063 We're gonna die! Let's go!
- 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:45,068 Well... I can see you're busy.
- 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,486 Merry Christmas, Rick.
- 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,366 There's no autopilot.
- 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,578 One of us will have to stay here and operate it manually.
- 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,797 - Uh, well... - No, you're... you're right.
- 00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,920 I-It was a dick move for me to even pause like that.
- 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,047 This is all my fault.
- 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,423 You go on.
- 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,467 What the hell is that?
- 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:09,801 E. Coli outbreak.
- 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:10,719 Hurry!
- 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,015 Wait, there isan autopilot.
- 00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,683 Wait!
- 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,268 It's okay! Never mind!
- 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:21,146 I wanted to sacrifice myself anyway!
- 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,910 They're... they're chewing through the doors!
- 00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,403 We're in the areola, Rick...
- 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,698 almost to the nipple, but we're also in a really bad situation!
- 00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,450 I'm almost there, Morty!
- 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,879 Reports from all over the country have been coming in
- 00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,256 about what appears to be a giant,
- 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,593 naked man over the continental United States.
- 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,054 We now go to Tom Randolph in New York. Tom?
- 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:57,307 Well, the eyes aren't twinkling and the dimples aren't merry,
- 00:16:57,392 --> 00:17:01,311 but I'm standing under a nose like a 70-mile cherry.
- 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,521 Thank you, Tom.
- 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,190 Let's go now to Eric McMahan in Los Angeles.
- 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,192 We've got feet here on the West Coast, Bill...
- 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,652 giant feet,
- 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,696 even relative to the giant man's size,
- 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,448 and you know what they say about that.
- 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,534 Well, if the old adage is true,
- 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:20,706 one can only wonder what's going down in the Rocky Mountains.
- 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:22,833 Wha?
- 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,261 Oh my God, the track!
- 00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:35,637 It's Hepatitis A!
- 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,180 Aaaah!
- 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,114 The nipple hole.
- 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,366 It's beautiful.
- 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,207 Oh, no!
- 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,709 Holy crap!
- 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,088 Whoa! It's Hepatitis C!
- 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,219 Um... wait...
- 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,764 Did we have some sort of relationship with him?
- 00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,265 I think they're just like that?
- 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,142 I think they're just good guys.
- 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,644 Oh. Huh.
- 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,062 Where's Dr. Bloom?
- 00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,689 I'm sorry, Rick, but he's dead.
- 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,815 God damn it, Morty.
- 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,650 I ask you to do one thing!
- 00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,352 Jerry doesn't know what he's missing.
- 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,705 He'll come around, Beth.
- 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,290 Christmas is a special time.
- 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,417 It has funny ways of bringing families together.
- 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,835 I don't know, Jacob.
- 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,963 Jerry got an invitation to be alive today, and he rejected it.
- 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,508 I don't know if our marriage will...
- 00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,679 It's raining blood!
- 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:00,889 Oh, shit. Find Jerry.
- 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:01,973 Oh, God.
- 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,725 Jerry! It's all right.
- 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,727 The TV says there's nothing to worry about.
- 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,647 The giant, naked sky Santa has exploded.
- 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:12,192 Blood and chunks of viscera are raining down on the country.
- 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,194 Everything should be fine.
- 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,321 Oh, yes.
- 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,697 Dad, can I have my phone back?
- 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,199 A sure, sweetie. Here.
- 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,618 Everybody, take a device.
- 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,245 It'll help you relax.
- 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,329 This is nice.
- 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,705 Yeah.
- 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,583 Look, I guess we really learned something this Christmas, Jacob.
- 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,751 No, we didn't, Dad.
- 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,670 No, we didn't.
- 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,714 Too bad about Dr. Bloom.
- 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:35,966 He was a genius...
- 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,301 the only man capable of creating a new Anatomy Park.
- 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,887 Actually, I studied Dr. Bloom's work.
- 00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,181 I-I-I-I believe I have the knowledge necessary to create
- 00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:44,975 an entirely new, much safer park.
- 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,059 What about...
- 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,394 Pirates of the Pancreas?
- 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,896 I think it was one of the most underrated attractions.
- 00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,482 Boo-yah! Hold your breath.
- 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,651 Hey, w-w-what the hell, Rick?!
- 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,653 What the hell, man! I liked her!
- 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,613 I really had something going there, Rick!
- 00:19:58,698 --> 00:19:59,948 Yeah, so I heard.
- 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,700 you dodged a bullet, Morty... trust me.
- 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,493 Puffy vagina.
- 00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:04,828 W-what's wrong with that?
- 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,371 That doesn't sound like a problem to me.
- 00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:07,622 I don't know.
- 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:08,790 Come on, let's get some stuffing.
- 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,250 I'm starving.
- 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,545 Oh, unbelievable.
- 00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:15,922 We got... we got a bunch of robot, computer people,
- 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,675 sitting around with their faces stuffed into computer screens.
- 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,802 Do you guys realize that Christ was born today?
- 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:24,347 Jesus Christ, our savior, was born today.
- 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:26,016 Are... are... are you people even human?
- 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,059 What kind of Christmas is this?
- 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,967 Hey, Rick? Rick, can you hear me?
- 00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:01,843 Loud and clear, Annie.
- 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:02,928 Great.
- 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,721 We're also on with Alejandro, our Chief Imaginarian.
- 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:05,847 Hey, Rick.
- 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,141 Natalie Jacobs and Chris Deseter from Microscopic Marketing,
- 00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,852 Zack from Organ Concepts, and Jamie from New Media.
- 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,228 Hey, everybody.
- 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,271 Hi, how's it going? Hi, Rick.
- 00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:14,814 So, Pirates of the Pancreas.
- 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:15,899 Yeah. Talk to me.
- 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,400 Hey, Rick. It's Alejandro speaking.
- 00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:20,654 Um, so, we asked ourselves, internally...
- 00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:21,988 we asked ourselves over here,
- 00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:23,990 "Okay, what does a pancreas do?"
- 00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:26,660 and the answer was, "Does it make pirates?"
- 00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:28,787 No, it makes insulin, you know?
- 00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,538 So, we're starting with a new...
- 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,999 Those guys are inside me, huh?
- 00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:34,751 Like, building a park?
- 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,753 Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit, Ethan!
- 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,588 They're inside you building a monument to compromise!
- 00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:40,298 Fuck 'em.
- 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,383 Fuck those people.
- 00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:43,969 Fuck this whole thing, Ethan.
- 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,512 Cool.
- 00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:46,596 And who pays me?
- 00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:49,808 Did you get any of that?
- 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,726 It's a good-a show!
- 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:35,535 ♪ Last King Christmas last arrived ♪
- 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,620 ♪ On the Christmas Christmas ♪
- 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:38,830 [ sniffs ]
- 00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:40,081 Mmm.
- 00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:42,667 Jerry, you are really giving it to this ham.
- 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,877 [ devices beeping ]
- 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:46,379 Um, Merry Christmas.
- 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,755 Hello?
- 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,632 My parents are coming over for the first time in years.
- 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,759 Can we stow the gadgets and look alive?
- 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:52,635 Alive?
- 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,720 For your parents?
- 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:54,721 Mm, good one.
- 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,305 Hey, man! You "Hey, man!"
- 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,266 This holiday is about humanity.
- 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,950 You know, I thought it was about being born half-god or something.
- 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:01,811 Whatever.
- 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,105 All electronic items are going in the stocking... now.
- 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,231 [ groans ]
- 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,733 Dad, I'm not giving you my phone.
- 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,193 Put it in the stocking, Summer, or I'm joining Facebook.
- 00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:10,361 [ gasps ]
- 00:01:10,446 --> 00:01:11,863 [ door opens ] A-ho, ho, ho, everybody.
- 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:13,067 More like "Whoa, whoa, whoa."
- 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:13,865 What is this?
- 00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:14,782 My parents are coming!
- 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:15,867 Calm down, Jerry.
- 00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,068 This is Reuben, an old friend.
- 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,327 Pearl Harbor.
- 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,579 I check in on him once a year and give him a little
- 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,998 [burps] medical [burps] evaluation.
- 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:22,874 Aww!
- 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:25,126 Dad, that is so sweet!
- 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,711 Yeah, it is.
- 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:27,670 I don't get it.
- 00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,088 Korea.
- 00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:30,673 Don't worry about your [burps] C-Christmas, Jerry.
- 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,675 [burps] I'll be with Reuben in my workshop while you guys are
- 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,303 having another day in Phil Collins' proverbial paradise.
- 00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:36,262 Huh.
- 00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,346 You think you know a guy.
- 00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:38,389 [ doorbell rings ]
- 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,474 Okay, there's my parents.
- 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,310 Now, remember... no TV, no phones, no laptops.
- 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,145 We are connecting this Christmas,
- 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,606 like old-school Jews on a Saturday.
- 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,774 Hey, hey!
- 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,025 Merry Christmas, son.
- 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,526 Uh, hi.
- 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:51,486 Can I help you?
- 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,820 Jerry, this is Jacob.
- 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,145 Didn't you get our text message?
- 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:55,156 TOGETHER: No!
- 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:56,282 You must be Jerry.
- 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:57,658 That's a fine-looking apron.
- 00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:58,785 Williams-Sonoma?
- 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,119 I wish! [ chuckles ]
- 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:01,329 But thank you.
- 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,456 So, you're a... friend of the family?
- 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:06,626 Uh, the way we see it, he's a part of the family.
- 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,169 Wow.
- 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:11,047 After your father's brush with cancer and losing your uncle,
- 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:14,425 we looked at life and wondered, how have we spent it,
- 00:02:14,510 --> 00:02:16,302 and how do we spend the rest of it?
- 00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,054 What are we going to be when we die...
- 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,306 A list of fears and questions
- 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,392 or a collection of real experiences?
- 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,603 Holy crap. Joyce, that's amazing.
- 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,814 Then Jacob came into our lives,
- 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:30,107 and... we're learning to live again.
- 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:31,192 All three of us.
- 00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,318 [ chuckles ]
- 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,028 Cool.
- 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:34,904 Eggnog?
- 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,197 Now we are talking!
- 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,074 This man's got the apron and the eggnog, huh?
- 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,618 [ laughter ]
- 00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:41,869 Hi, Joyce. Leonard.
- 00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:42,829 Hello, there.
- 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:43,788 Merry Christmas, man.
- 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,032 Morty, a moment of your time?
- 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:45,915 [ gurgling ]
- 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:46,999 He's in bad shape, Morty.
- 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,202 Aw, geez, Rick. What'd you do?
- 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,210 Gee, thanks, Morty.
- 00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,974 W-w-what kind of monster do you think I am?
- 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,839 I-I-I'm sitting here trying to save the guy's life.
- 00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:53,923 I need your help.
- 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,008 I want you to find Dr. Xenon Bloom.
- 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,218 He'll know what's going on.
- 00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,929 Uh, w-w-w-where... where do I find Dr. Bloom?
- 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,180 In Reuben.
- 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,345 Reuben, Minne... Minnesota?
- 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:03,808 Reuben on the table, Morty.
- 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:07,228 Look, I-I-I [belches] I don't have time for you to wrap your
- 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,688 little walnut around everything.
- 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,231 Just hold your breath until the process is over
- 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,524 or your lungs will collapse.
- 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,608 What proc...
- 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,569 [ screams ]
- 00:03:14,653 --> 00:03:16,279 [ grunts ]
- 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,363 Hey, Dad, where's Morty?
- 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:18,406 He's busy.
- 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,491 [ screaming ]
- 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:23,035 - [ panting ] - Morty, can you hear me?
- 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:23,911 Head north.
- 00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:24,996 Rick, where am I?
- 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,664 Depending on my aim,
- 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:28,124 you should be just south of the entrance.
- 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,500 MORTY: Entrance to what?
- 00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:30,668 Welcome, Morty.
- 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:31,586 Welcome...
- 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:32,503 [ gasps ]
- 00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:35,256 to Anatomy Park!
- 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,508 It's a little business venture I've been cooking up on the side
- 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,803 with Dr. Bloom... an amusement park inside a human body.
- 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,889 Science isn't ch... [burps] cheap, Morty.
- 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,682 This should really help put a dent in the overhead.
- 00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:45,808 Oh, my God!
- 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,184 This is insane!
- 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,603 Spleen Mountain?
- 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,396 Bladder Falls? Pirates of the Pancreas?
- 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,522 RICK: You got a problem with that last one, Morty?
- 00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:53,274 Huh? No, no.
- 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,692 I'm just reading 'em out loud in the order that I'm seeing 'em.
- 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:55,776 RICK: Okay. All right.
- 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,069 If I sounded a little defensive,
- 00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:58,988 it's because Pirates of the Pancreas was my baby.
- 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,323 You know, I got...
- 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,949 I got a lot of pushback when I pitched it, Morty.
- 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,474 I guess I'm still a little defensive.
- 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:04,827 Let's just find Dr. Bloom, all right?
- 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,704 I-I'm picking up a distress signal in the liver, Morty.
- 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,623 Proceed to the liver.
- 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,295 ANNOUNCER: Arriving at...
- 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,130 [ bell dings ] liver.
- 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,214 Ow!
- 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,424 ANNOUNCER: Mind the gap.
- 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,720 It's really scary in here, Rick.
- 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:23,971 RICK: The liver's under maintenance.
- 00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:24,972 Reuben's seen some rough years, Morty.
- 00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:26,515 Don't judge.
- 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,100 You don't agree to have a theme park built inside you if your
- 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,685 life's going great.
- 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:31,938 [ roars ]
- 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,439 [ screams ] Rick! It's a monster!
- 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,732 No, no, no. Morty.
- 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,568 The only monster here is alco ...[belches] ...holism.
- 00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:39,403 That is an animatronic werewolf.
- 00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:40,821 [ grunts ]
- 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:41,739 Who are you?!
- 00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:42,698 Answer me!
- 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:43,908 Where'd you come from?
- 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:45,392 My... my... my grandpa Rick sent me!
- 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:46,494 Poncho!
- 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,870 That's quite enough.
- 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,747 Morty, that's Poncho.
- 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,290 This is Roger and Annie.
- 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,750 [ gasps ]
- 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,670 And I am Dr. Xenon Bloom.
- 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,034 [ gasps ] Hey, Bloom, it's Rick.
- 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:58,506 What the hell's going on here?
- 00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:03,052 I don't know why, but the entire security system has shut down,
- 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,681 and I'm afraid... the exhibits are unlocked.
- 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:07,932 Exhibits?
- 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,643 Anatomy Park's greatest attraction, young man,
- 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,228 isn't the music or the food or the...
- 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,813 Pirates of the Pancreas.
- 00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,314 RICK: Watch it.
- 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:18,901 It is, first and foremost, a living museum of humanity's most
- 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,362 noble and ferocious diseases.
- 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:22,279 Diseases?
- 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,155 [ creature roars ]
- 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,031 Hey, doc.
- 00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:25,366 I got news for you.
- 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:29,036 Your living museum is officially a wild safari!
- 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,414 Hepatitis A! Run!
- 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,499 [ all scream ]
- 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,797 Oh, the food goes in your mouth, girl.
- 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,132 [ laughter ]
- 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,049 [ laughing ] Oh, Jacob.
- 00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:42,967 [ laughs ]
- 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,468 l-I'm sorry, Jacob.
- 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,793 I-I guess I'm still confused about the precise nature and
- 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,598 origin of your relationship with my parents.
- 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,434 Are you, like, uh... are you, like, their caretaker?
- 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:52,518 Is that what it is?
- 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:53,841 We can go into detail later, son.
- 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,731 Now, wait. Th-there's no point to secrecy.
- 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,774 Let's all live and die honestly.
- 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,444 Your mother and I have shared 40 years of each other, mind,
- 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,238 body, and soul, and when minds and souls are joined
- 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:07,825 for eternity and when eternity is at the door,
- 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:11,162 it's an invitation to let go of the body and an opportunity
- 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,539 to share and experiment.
- 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,249 Dad, please. What are you saying?
- 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:18,252 Whatever it is, it's beautiful, Leonard, and we support you.
- 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:20,504 Hey, speak for yourself, because it [laughs nervously]
- 00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,798 sounds like you're about to say Jacob is your lover.
- 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,050 GRANDFATHER: No, no, no, no, no, no.
- 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,218 Jacob is your mother's lover.
- 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,178 [ chuckles ]
- 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,429 I watch them...
- 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,599 Sometimes from a chair and sometimes from a closet,
- 00:06:31,683 --> 00:06:33,893 almost always dressed as Superman.
- 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,186 [ smooches ]
- 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:38,105 Oh.
- 00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:40,566 Jerry, this ham has got to be all you, right?
- 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,318 It's incredible.
- 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,611 [ chuckles ]
- 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,905 Happy human holiday, Dad.
- 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,240 Aah!
- 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,992 [ roars ]
- 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:53,412 Hepatitis won't follow us into the respiratory system.
- 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:56,624 That's strange.
- 00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:57,917 Airflow is down 20%.
- 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,002 So, the brain isn't getting enough oxygen.
- 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,088 That's why security's offline.
- 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,048 Well, I guess we better check it out.
- 00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:08,594 Hey! Wait for me!
- 00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,721 Put that back on!
- 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:14,183 If we got up to the Bronchial Catwalk,
- 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,643 we could look for a blockage.
- 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:16,936 I'll go.
- 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,604 [ laughs nervously ]
- 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:19,897 Don't be a hero, kid.
- 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:20,981 I'm not.
- 00:07:20,982 --> 00:07:22,274 I'm doing it because it's fun.
- 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,485 We shouldn't be here.
- 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,029 Whatever you do, do not fire that thing in here.
- 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,031 We must save Reuben.
- 00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,741 This is my life's work.
- 00:07:30,826 --> 00:07:31,826 [ blob squeals ]
- 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,188 [ gasps ] It's all right, my dear.
- 00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:36,914 Nearly all human lungs contain a strain of these bacteria,
- 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:39,458 but the scar tissue keeps them...
- 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,418 dormant.
- 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,670 Morty, get down!
- 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:43,754 Whoa-ho-ho!
- 00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,005 Whoa!
- 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:46,132 [ bacteria snarl ]
- 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:47,341 Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:50,177 [ grunting ]
- 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,304 Oh, what are those things?
- 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,682 Tuberculosis... coming in fast!
- 00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,225 Not faster than a bullet!
- 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,518 Aah!
- 00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:58,602 DR. BLOOM: No!
- 00:07:58,603 --> 00:07:59,895 Do you know what you've done?!
- 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,063 [ coughs ]
- 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,482 ALL: Whoa!
- 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,527 Get to the digestive tract!
- 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,611 He's coughing!
- 00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:08,946 [ coughs ]
- 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,531 Whoaaaa!
- 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:11,991 Don't let me die!
- 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,409 Just take a deep breath, Reuben.
- 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,577 [ gasps ]
- 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,661 You're not gonna die!
- 00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:16,704 What's your name?
- 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:17,788 My name is...
- 00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:18,873 [ coughs ]
- 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,207 Alexand... [ screams ]
- 00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:22,585 [ coughs ]
- 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,170 [ all grunt ]
- 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,088 Rick... R-R-Reuben's got tuberculosis!
- 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,256 Oh, great work, Morty.
- 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,008 Okay, I'll just cure it and then...
- 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,551 [ flatline ]
- 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:31,635 Okay.
- 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:32,887 Well, I can't cure death.
- 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,013 This is bad, Morty.
- 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,217 You're trapped in a dead man.
- 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:36,682 Listen, if the situation keeps darkening,
- 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,518 do yourself a favor and pop by Pirates of the Pancreas.
- 00:08:39,603 --> 00:08:41,854 Obviously I'm biased, but I think it's great, Morty.
- 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,981 It's a bunch of [belches] pirates running around a
- 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:46,150 [belches] pancreas.
- 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,568 We don't whitewash it, either, Morty.
- 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,153 I mean, the pirates are really rapey.
- 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,072 The top priority is to get, you know, you guys out of there,
- 00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,200 but I'm just saying, if that becomes impossible, please,
- 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,826 you gotta treat yourself.
- 00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,161 Oh, man.
- 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,954 W-w-w-what is that horrible smell?
- 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,164 You mean the Panda Express?
- 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,332 [ chuckles ]
- 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,083 Kidding. I-I'm kidding.
- 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:06,420 The body is beginning to constrict and fill with gas.
- 00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,130 We're inside a corpse, my boy.
- 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,257 Anatomy Park is doomed.
- 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,592 Forget about the park, doctor!
- 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:12,801 How do we get out?
- 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,887 The digestive tract is the evacuation route.
- 00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,388 Get it?
- 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,599 There's an emergency station in the colon with a ray that can
- 00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,059 enlarge us all.
- 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,560 Everybody, head for the colon!
- 00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:24,688 Now I'm taking orders from a 12-year-old boy?
- 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:29,401 Morty, the scar sacs containing the tuberculosis were sabotaged.
- 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,570 This disaster was an inside job.
- 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,572 Keep your eye on Annie.
- 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:35,741 She was written up several times
- 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,869 by her manager at the Churro Stand.
- 00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,704 Intestines are ahead to the left, then to the right,
- 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:43,249 then left, ET cetera.
- 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,753 Hey, just so you know, l-I-I'm actually 14.
- 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,213 So, you know... what?
- 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,756 Not 12.
- 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,216 Okay.
- 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,843 You know, because he just said I was 12.
- 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,220 Oh.
- 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,805 Good for you.
- 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,556 RICK: Oof. Ugh. Morty.
- 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:00,891 Strike one.
- 00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:02,101 [ groans ]
- 00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,560 [ festive music plays ]
- 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,396 ♪ It's a road of wonder ♪
- 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,106 ♪ A trail of food ♪
- 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:10,985 ♪ It's a pathway to break up the bad and good ♪
- 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:15,030 ♪ It's a tube that digests and then sends out the rest ♪
- 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:19,118 ♪ It's a small, small intestine ♪
- 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,787 Lt goes on like this for miles.
- 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,206 Then we get to the large intestine!
- 00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,457 [ creature roars ]
- 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,334 Shh! I hear something.
- 00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:31,088 [ roars ]
- 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,381 Don't move.
- 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:36,218 Gonorrhea can't see us if we don't move.
- 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,679 [ roars ]
- 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:39,638 Wait, I was wrong.
- 00:10:39,723 --> 00:10:40,803 I was thinking of a T. Rex.
- 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,808 [ all scream ]
- 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,351 Move!
- 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,231 We're sitting ducks!
- 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:51,233 Doc, didn't you say that the body was filling with gas?
- 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,609 Yes. Why?
- 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:54,570 Kid, you're a genius.
- 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,654 Are you mad?!
- 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:56,947 Everybody, in here!
- 00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,157 [ roars ]
- 00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,366 Hey, Gonorrhea!
- 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:01,910 How's this for a burning sensation?
- 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,751 [ groans ]
- 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,044 Huh.
- 00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:11,795 [ giggles ]
- 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,214 ♪ Drummer drum drum drum drum drum ♪
- 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,258 ♪ Drum drum drum drum drum drum ♪
- 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,343 ♪ Christmas drums ♪
- 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,510 Oh, sing it, Summer.
- 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,721 ♪ Christmas drums being played by a b-o-o-o-y ♪
- 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,014 Oh, I love to hear you sing.
- 00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:23,098 [ laughs ]
- 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,850 [ scatting ]
- 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,060 Jerry, come on.
- 00:11:26,144 --> 00:11:27,269 This is what you wanted.
- 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,354 I get it, Beth.
- 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,556 Be careful what you wish for.
- 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,231 I'm being punished for taking your iPad.
- 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:32,191 What?
- 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:33,692 Jerry, let that stuff go, okay?
- 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,235 I'm sorry I was a bitch earlier.
- 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,279 Let's just be here.
- 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,281 [ grunts ] Summer!
- 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,366 Ethan?
- 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,367 What are you doing here?
- 00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:42,409 I've been texting you for hours!
- 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,619 What the hell?!
- 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:44,703 I don't have my phone!
- 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,163 I'm doing a human holiday!
- 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:48,957 Well, did you even consider how that might make me feel?!
- 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,209 How you feel?!
- 00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,544 Why is everything always happening to you?!
- 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,463 Summer, do you have a boyfriend?
- 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,006 Yeah, do you, Summer?
- 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:56,882 I don't know, Ethan.
- 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,092 Do I?!
- 00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:00,969 Jerry, no disrespect, but you really need to
- 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,971 connect more with your family, man.
- 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:06,308 I should be able to access the backup generator to get the
- 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,684 growth ray online.
- 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,728 If it works, we'll be regular-sized in a few minutes.
- 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,893 I just hope Reuben's not in a room with white carpets
- 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:12,940 or upholstery.
- 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:13,982 [ rumbling ]
- 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,359 What the hell is that?
- 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,568 The Sphincter Dam.
- 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,404 We built it when Reuben became incontinent,
- 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,281 but it was not designed to hold a corpse load.
- 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,367 I've almost got it.
- 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,119 Everybody, move inside the circle.
- 00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:26,370 [ bacterium squeals ]
- 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:27,329 Poncho?
- 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,622 What is this in your backpack?
- 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,958 That's Bubonic plague!
- 00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,482 What are you doing with that, Poncho?
- 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:33,335 [ gasps ]
- 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,420 Everybody, get back!
- 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:35,879 Poncho, you son of a bitch!
- 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:39,258 You released the tuberculosis so you could steal from me?
- 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,676 That's right, baby.
- 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,886 A lot of people would pay top dollar
- 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:44,847 to decimate the population.
- 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,265 I'll take the highest bidder...
- 00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,100 Al-Qaeda, North Korea,
- 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:51,311 Republicans, Shriners, balding men that work out,
- 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:54,314 people on the internet that are only turned on by cartoons
- 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,024 of Japanese teenagers...
- 00:12:56,109 --> 00:13:00,529 Anything is better than working for you, you pompous, negligent,
- 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:04,825 iTunes-gift-card-as-a-holiday- bonus-giving mother...
- 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:05,993 [ screams ]
- 00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:07,244 [ grunts ]
- 00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,579 Come on!
- 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:09,830 [ groans ]
- 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:10,747 [ laughs ]
- 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:11,832 [ bacterium squeals ]
- 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:12,708 Aah!
- 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:13,584 [ grunts ] Get off!
- 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:16,253 [ screams ]
- 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:17,337 [ rumbling ]
- 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:18,255 You guys!
- 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,590 It's gonna burst! Go!
- 00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:20,549 Go, go, go!
- 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,260 [ all panting ]
- 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:24,178 My foot is stuck.
- 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:25,721 No! It's okay!
- 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,806 It's okay. Just go. Tell my family I love them.
- 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:29,850 They may be hard to find 'cause my wife kept her last name and
- 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,374 she made the kids take it, too, so, I-I don't know, you can...
- 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:33,854 No!
- 00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,689 [ sobs ]
- 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,526 Let me ask you a question, Ethan.
- 00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:41,403 Where's the anger coming from, man?
- 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,156 From Summer being a total bitch!
- 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:49,077 Where's the anger coming from?
- 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:52,664 My brother... took me fishing once ...in the bushes...
- 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,999 [ whimpers ]
- 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,292 [ voice breaking ] I can't... I can't...
- 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:56,376 [ sobs ]
- 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:58,003 He made me feel like a girl!
- 00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,380 I... he made me a girl!
- 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,548 [ sobs ]
- 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,550 He didn't make you anything, man.
- 00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,427 You are who you are.
- 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,179 She is who she is.
- 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,515 Now, you go to her... brand-new.
- 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,599 Come here, right now.
- 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,558 Oh, my God.
- 00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,893 I'm so sorry, Ethan!
- 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,019 I love you!
- 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:14,937 I love you so much.
- 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,563 [ both moaning ]
- 00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:17,981 Um...
- 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,816 You did it again, cubbie.
- 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:20,984 Come here.
- 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:25,447 [ both moaning ]
- 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,741 No! Stop! I hate this!
- 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,786 Well, Christmas doesn't revolve around what you hate, son.
- 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,120 Well, then I hate Christmas!
- 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,539 Enjoy being human!
- 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,249 You guys are gross and lame.
- 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,417 My name's Reuben Ridley.
- 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:40,546 You're inside me right now, but by the end of this journey...
- 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:41,630 Whoopsie.
- 00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,924 ANIMATRONIC REUBEN: I'll be inside all of you.
- 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,926 My story begins during
- 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,345 the dot-com crash in the early '90s.
- 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,888 [ whirring ]
- 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,057 You can put your fingers wherever you want.
- 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,059 RICK: Morty, you want to put it on mute or something?
- 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,477 I'm... I'm trying to concentrate.
- 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,562 Uh... Rick?
- 00:14:56,563 --> 00:14:57,813 Not now, Jerry.
- 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,523 I've got [belches] much, much smaller fish to fry.
- 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,358 I wanted to say I'm sorry I ever judged you.
- 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,610 Right now, you're my sanest relative.
- 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,362 Relative.
- 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,572 R-relative size!
- 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,365 Jerry, hand me a scalpel and a bundle of dynamite.
- 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:09,700 Morty, can you get to the left nipple?
- 00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:11,034 Are you kidding?
- 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:12,619 I'm hoping I can get to both of 'em, Rick.
- 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,496 No, Morty, I'm talking about Reuben's left nipple.
- 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:15,831 [ rumbling ]
- 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:16,915 [ grunts ]
- 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,278 We need to get to the left nipple!
- 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,960 The body is decaying.
- 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:22,296 The arterial transit system is useless.
- 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,172 We can try the service shuttle.
- 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,737 It's connected to the skeletal system.
- 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,759 That's why we call it the bone train.
- 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,887 Would you like to ride the bone train, Miss?
- 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,514 If it'll get us out of here.
- 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,099 How about you, Morty?
- 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:37,060 Would you like to ride the bone train?
- 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,353 Why are you doing this bit?
- 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,063 We're gonna die! Let's go!
- 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:45,068 Well... I can see you're busy.
- 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:46,486 Merry Christmas, Rick.
- 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,865 [ groans ]
- 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,366 There's no autopilot.
- 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:54,578 One of us will have to stay here and operate it manually.
- 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:01,797 - Uh, well... BLOOM: No, you're... you're right.
- 00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,920 I-It was a dick move for me to even pause like that.
- 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,047 This is all my fault.
- 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,423 You go on.
- 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:07,382 [ bacteria screeching ]
- 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,467 What the hell is that?
- 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:09,801 E. Coli outbreak.
- 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:10,719 Hurry!
- 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,012 [ screams ]
- 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:12,971 [ grunts ]
- 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,015 Wait, there isan autopilot.
- 00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,683 Wait!
- 00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,268 It's okay! Never mind!
- 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:21,146 I wanted to sacrifice myself anyway!
- 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,910 They're... they're chewing through the doors!
- 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:26,943 [ screams ]
- 00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,403 We're in the areola, Rick...
- 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,698 almost to the nipple, but we're also in a really bad situation!
- 00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,450 RICK: I'm almost there, Morty!
- 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,879 Reports from all over the country have been coming in
- 00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,256 about what appears to be a giant,
- 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:51,593 naked man over the continental United States.
- 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,054 We now go to Tom Randolph in New York. Tom?
- 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:57,307 Well, the eyes aren't twinkling and the dimples aren't merry,
- 00:16:57,392 --> 00:17:01,311 but I'm standing under a nose like a 70-mile cherry.
- 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:02,521 Thank you, Tom.
- 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:05,190 Let's go now to Eric McMahan in Los Angeles.
- 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,192 We've got feet here on the West Coast, Bill...
- 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,652 giant feet,
- 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,696 even relative to the giant man's size,
- 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:13,448 and you know what they say about that.
- 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,534 Well, if the old adage is true,
- 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:20,706 one can only wonder what's going down in the Rocky Mountains.
- 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:22,833 Wha?
- 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,377 [ screams ]
- 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,550 [ bacteria screeching ]
- 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,261 Oh my God, the track!
- 00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:35,637 It's Hepatitis A!
- 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,180 Aaaah!
- 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:50,026 [ screams ]
- 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,487 [ gasps ]
- 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,114 The nipple hole.
- 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,366 It's beautiful.
- 00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,123 [ roars ]
- 00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,207 Oh, no!
- 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,709 Holy crap!
- 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,088 Whoa! It's Hepatitis C!
- 00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:11,631 [ grunts ]
- 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,219 Um... wait...
- 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,764 Did we have some sort of relationship with him?
- 00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,265 I think they're just like that?
- 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,142 I think they're just good guys.
- 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:24,644 Oh. Huh.
- 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,062 RICK: Where's Dr. Bloom?
- 00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:27,689 I'm sorry, Rick, but he's dead.
- 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,815 God damn it, Morty.
- 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,650 I ask you to do one thing!
- 00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:42,352 Jerry doesn't know what he's missing.
- 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,705 He'll come around, Beth.
- 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,290 Christmas is a special time.
- 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,417 It has funny ways of bringing families together.
- 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,835 I don't know, Jacob.
- 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,963 Jerry got an invitation to be alive today, and he rejected it.
- 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,508 I don't know if our marriage will...
- 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,637 [ gasps ]
- 00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,679 It's raining blood!
- 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:00,889 Oh, shit. Find Jerry.
- 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:01,973 Oh, God.
- 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,725 Jerry! It's all right.
- 00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,727 The TV says there's nothing to worry about.
- 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,647 The giant, naked sky Santa has exploded.
- 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:12,192 Blood and chunks of viscera are raining down on the country.
- 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,194 Everything should be fine.
- 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,278 [ all sigh ]
- 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,321 Oh, yes.
- 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,697 Dad, can I have my phone back?
- 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,199 A sure, sweetie. Here.
- 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,618 Everybody, take a device.
- 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,245 It'll help you relax.
- 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,329 This is nice.
- 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,705 Yeah.
- 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,583 Look, I guess we really learned something this Christmas, Jacob.
- 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,751 No, we didn't, Dad.
- 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,670 No, we didn't.
- 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,714 RICK: Too bad about Dr. Bloom.
- 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:35,966 He was a genius...
- 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,301 the only man capable of creating a new Anatomy Park.
- 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,887 Actually, I studied Dr. Bloom's work.
- 00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:43,181 I-I-I-I believe I have the knowledge necessary to create
- 00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:44,975 an entirely new, much safer park.
- 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,059 What about...
- 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,394 Pirates of the Pancreas?
- 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,896 I think it was one of the most underrated attractions.
- 00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,482 Boo-yah! Hold your breath.
- 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,651 Hey, w-w-what the hell, Rick?!
- 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,653 What the hell, man! I liked her!
- 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,613 I really had something going there, Rick!
- 00:19:58,698 --> 00:19:59,948 Yeah, so I heard.
- 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,700 [belches] you dodged a bullet, Morty... trust me.
- 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,493 Puffy vagina.
- 00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:04,828 W-what's wrong with that?
- 00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,371 That doesn't sound like a problem to me.
- 00:20:06,455 --> 00:20:07,622 I don't know.
- 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:08,790 Come on, let's get some stuffing.
- 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,250 I'm starving.
- 00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,168 [ gadgets beeping ]
- 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:13,545 Oh, unbelievable.
- 00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:15,922 We got... we got a bunch of robot, computer people,
- 00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:18,675 sitting around with their faces stuffed into computer screens.
- 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,802 Do you guys realize that Christ was born today?
- 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:24,347 Jesus Christ, our savior, was born today.
- 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:26,016 Are... are... are you people even human?
- 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,059 What kind of Christmas is this?
- 00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,967 ANNIE: Hey, Rick? Rick, can you hear me?
- 00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:01,843 Loud and clear, Annie.
- 00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:02,928 ANNIE: Great.
- 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,721 We're also on with Alejandro, our Chief Imaginarian.
- 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:05,847 ALEJANDRO: Hey, Rick.
- 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,141 Natalie Jacobs and Chris Deseter from Microscopic Marketing,
- 00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,852 Zack from Organ Concepts, and Jamie from New Media.
- 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,228 Hey, everybody.
- 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,271 [on phone] Hi, how's it going? Hi, Rick.
- 00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:14,814 ANNIE: So, Pirates of the Pancreas.
- 00:21:14,899 --> 00:21:15,899 Yeah. Talk to me.
- 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,400 Hey, Rick. It's Alejandro speaking.
- 00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:20,654 Um, so, we asked ourselves, internally...
- 00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:21,988 we asked ourselves over here,
- 00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:23,990 "Okay, what does a pancreas do?"
- 00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:26,660 and the answer was, "Does it make pirates?"
- 00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:28,787 No, it makes insulin, you know?
- 00:21:28,871 --> 00:21:30,538 So, we're starting with a new...
- 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,999 Those guys are inside me, huh?
- 00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:34,751 Like, building a park?
- 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,753 Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit, Ethan!
- 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,588 They're inside you building a monument to compromise!
- 00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:40,298 Fuck 'em.
- 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,383 Fuck those people.
- 00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:43,969 Fuck this whole thing, Ethan.
- 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,512 Cool.
- 00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:46,596 And who pays me?
- 00:21:48,432 --> 00:21:49,808 Did you get any of that?
- 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,726 It's a good-a show!